Motivation Daily by Motiversity - The Advice Every Young Person NEEDS To Hear | Simon Sinek on the Millennial Generation

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

How have you reevaluated your relationship with social media?"Everybody sounds tough, and everybody sounds like they got it all figured out. And the reality is there is very little toughness, and most people don't have it figured out."― Simon SinekSpecial thanks to our partners and to these channels, subscribe to them here:@TomBilyeu @TheDiaryOfACEO Speaker:Simon SinekMusic:AudiojungleSoundstripe▶Subscribe for New Motivational Videos Every Week:http://bit.ly/MotivationVids▶DOWNLOAD our Top 100 Quotes of All Time:https://bit.ly/topquotesfreepdf▶JOIN our Newsletter for Exclusive Updates, Discounts, and Deals: https://bit.ly/Motiversitynewsletter▶READ our Weekly Blog -https://bit.ly/motiversityblog▶SHOP Official Motivational Canvases and Apparel -https://bit.ly/motiversityshop▶BECOME A MEMBER of our loyal community!https://bit.ly/motiversitymembers Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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The link is in the description. Everything you want you can have instantaneously. Everything you want, instant gratification. Except job satisfaction and strength of relationships. There ain't no app for that. They are slow, meandering, uncomfortable, messy processes. You have an entire generation that's growing up with lower self-esteem than previous generations. The other problem, to compound it is we're growing up.

up in a Facebook, Instagram world. In other words, we're good at putting filters on things. We're good at showing people that life is amazing, even though I'm depressed. And so everybody sounds tough, and everybody sounds like they got it all figured out. And the reality is there's very little toughness, and most people don't have it figured out.

They are good at curating, I'm really good at showing you the life I want you to think that I lead. And so they're really good at presenting a confidence that they don't have. They sound like they have all the answers when they don't. There is good evidence that this young generation seems less capable to deal with stress than previous generations.

That is true. Like Maslov's hierarchy of needs. Masloff made him a huge mistake in that hierarchy. His baseline, our basic need, is food and shelter. I've never heard of anyone dying by side because they were hungry. I've heard of people dying by suicide because they were lonely. So you have an entire generation growing up with lower self-esteem than previous generations. Through no fault of their own, they were dealt a bad hand.

Now, let's add in technology. And you have an entire generation that has access to an addictive, numbing chemical codopamine through social media and cell phones as they're going through the high stress of adolescence. Why is this important? Almost every alcoholic discovered alcohol when they were teenagers. Dopamine is the exact same chemical that makes us feel good when we smoke, when we drink, and when we gamble.

In other words, it's highly, highly addictive. You have an addiction. And like all addiction, in time, it'll destroy relationships. It'll cost time, and it'll cost money, and it'll make your life worse. Deep meaningful relationships are not there because they never practice the skill set, and worse, they don't have a lot of. the coping mechanisms to deal with stress. So when significant stress starts to show up in their

lives, they're not turning to a person, they're turning to a device, they're turning to social media, they're turning to these things which offer temporary relief. The worst case scenario is we're seeing increase in suicide rates. We're seeing an increase in accidental deaths due to drug overdoses. We're seeing more and more kids drop out of school or take leaves of absence due to depression. This is really bad. Those are all bad cases, right? The best case scenario is you'll have an entire population growing up and going through life and just never really finding joy. They'll never really find deep, deep fulfillment in work or in life. They'll just wharf through life and it'll be just, it's fine.

How's your job? It's fine. How's your relationship? It's fine. Like, that's the best case scenario. Our lives looked very different than they do now. We got our sense of purpose from church, hung out with our neighbors. They came over on the weekends.

And work was a place that we went to make money. pay for our lives, pay our bills. It was also a different time where we were super loyal to the company and the company was super loyal to us. And that was, that was life. And then church attendance started to decline. We don't have our neighbors over on a weekland basis. So all of those things we started to look to work to replace. So now we say to work, you have to give me a sense of purpose. You have to give me my social life. You have to give me a sense of community and belonging. And it is an impossible standard to put on any culture that they can do all those things for you, just like we've put impossible standards on romantic partners, that they have to be my intellectual equal.

They have to be my, they have to be sexually compatible with me. They have to be emotionally compatible with me. They have to share all of my interests, all of my politics. These are impossible standards to put on another human being. And we're literally setting people up to fail. We're setting up business cultures up to fail as well. Like literally no culture can live up to that standard. You know, this younger generation who seem to lack the skills for coping with stress,

not very good at asking for help very confrontation avoidant like I said so afraid sometimes to have the question that ask the boss can I have a raise that they would rather just quit and it's often with an email

that says you don't appreciate me you don't pay me enough I was like what you just had to ask me I would have given you a raise you know and I think part of it is also that you know when somebody is anxious about something they do poorly present

they do make things binary because there's fear or anxiety or stress or fear of rejection what if my boss says no right can I handle that? Like all of these things that come into these very sort of binary aggressive things. And I always equate all of these challenges at work to personal relationships. Like you can't go to the person you love in your relationship and say, I demand this.

It's just not going to go well. Right. But you present a situation. You say, I want us to move through this and how do we work through this together? And I think that's how these difficult work conversations need to happen. A work relationship is a relationship like any other relationship. And so you flash forward to adulthood, and men who learned that skill of taking a risk, facing rejection, being rejected, and then trying again makes them resilient entrepreneurs. Assuming traditional roles are played, a woman who hasn't learned the skill of risk rejection is more afraid of the risk as an adult.

We could argue that with online dating, you know, swiping left and right, that everybody's losing the skill. that nobody has to take a risk because you just swipe right. You don't know that they swipe left on you. They think maybe they just didn't see you. So you only get the, oh, we connected, but nobody ever gets rejected. So are we building that goes back

to the original conversation of a young generation that's less capable of dealing with stress than older generations? Like, there are fewer opportunities to risk, reject, have to try again. Everything you want you can have instantaneously. Everything you want, instant gratification,

except job satisfaction and strength of relationships. There ain't no app for that. They are slow, meandering, uncomfortable, messy processes. And so I keep meeting these wonderful, fantastic, idealistic, hardworking, smart kids. They've just graduated school. They're in their entry-level job. I sit down with them when I go, how's it going? They go, I think I'm going to quit.

I'm like, why? They're like, I'm not making an impact. I'm like, you've been here eight months. It's as if they're standing at the foot of a mountain, and they have this abstract concept called impact that they want to have in the world, which is the summit. What they don't see is the mountain.

I don't care if you go up the mountain quickly or slowly, but there's still a mountain. And so what this young generation needs to learn is patience, that some things that really, really matter, like love, or job fulfillment, joy, love of life, self-confidence, a skill set, any of these things. All of these things take time. Sometimes you can expedite pieces of it, but the overall journey is arduous and long and difficult. And if you don't ask for help and

learn that skill set, you will fall off the mountain. When we're very, very young, the only approval we need is the approval of our parents. And as we go through adolescence, we make this transition where we now need the approval of our peers. Very frustrating for our parents, very important for us, that allows us to acculturate outside. side of our immediate families into the broader tribe. It's a highly, highly stressful and anxious period of our lives, and we're supposed to learn to rely on our friends. Some people, quite by accident, discover alcohol and numbing effects of dopamine to help them

cope with the stresses and anxieties of adolescents. Unfortunately, that becomes hardwired in their brains, and for the rest of their lives, when they suffer significant stress, they will not turn to a person, they will turn to the bottle. Social stress, financial stress, career stress. that's pretty much the primary reasons why an alcoholic drinks. What's happening is because we're allowing unfettered access to these dopamine-producing devices and media, basically it's becoming hardwired,

and what we're seeing is as they grow older, too many kids don't know how to form deep meaningful relationships. Their words, not mine. They will admit that many of their friendships are superficial. They will admit that their friends, that they don't count on their friends, they don't rely on their friends, they have fun with their friends, But they also know that their friends will cancel them that something better comes along. Deep meaningful relationships are not there because they never practice the skill set.

And worse, they don't have the coping mechanisms to deal with stress. So when significant stress starts to show up in their lives, they're not turning to a person, they're turning to a device, they're turning to social media, they're turning to these things which offer temporary relief. We know, the science is clear, we know, that people who spend more time on Facebook suffer higher rates of depression than people who spend less time on Facebook.

These things balanced, alphemy, Alcohol is not bad, too much alcohol is bad. Gambling is fun, too much gambling is dangerous. There's nothing wrong with social media and cell phones. It's the imbalance. But if you don't have the phone, you just kind of enjoy the world. And that's where ideas happen. The constant, constant engagement is not where you have innovation and ideas.

Ideas happen when our minds wonder and we go, and you see something, I think they could do that. That's called innovation. But we're taking away all those little moments. And none of us, none of us should charge our phones by our beds. We should be charging our phones in the living rooms. Remove the temptation. You wake up in the middle of the night because you can't sleep.

You won't check your phone, which makes it worse. But if it's in the living room, it's relaxed. It's fine. But it's my alarm clock. Buy an alarm clock. They cost $8. I'll buy you an alarm. Right?

But the point is, the point is we now, in industry, whether we like it or not, we don't get choice. We now have a responsibility to make up the shortfall and to help this amazing, idealistic, fantastic generation build their confidence, learn patience, learn the social skills, find a better balance between life and technology, because quite frankly, it's the right thing to do.