Motivation Daily by Motiversity - WHEN LIFE BREAKS YOU - Powerful Motivational Speech | Jocko Willink

Episode Date: August 19, 2025

You'll see this when you're ready, when life breaks you. One of the Best Motivational Speeches for handling grief and hard times from retired US Navy Seal Officer Jocko Willink.Special thanks to:Chris Williamson: https://www.youtube.com/@ChrisWillxDOAC: https://www.youtube.com/@TheDiaryOfACEOSpeakerJocko Willink:YouTube: http://bit.ly/2v5XxuKInstagram: http://bit.ly/2M7oLdwFacebook: http://bit.ly/2JVVaRxTwitter: http://bit.ly/2O9ARVPWebsite: http://bit.ly/2Z5CYLpMusic: Confidential Musichttps://www.youtube.com/@ConfidentialMX Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Yes, I have definitely lost too many of my friends. And it took me a little while to start getting pattern recognition on what happens. And it's a very clear pattern. And once I kind of put that out there, I've now heard from many, many scores of people that, yep, That's what it feels like. And I think if you know what it's going to feel like, just like anything else, if you know what to expect, then it's easier to contend with. So it's like a storm that is hitting you. You know, you lose someone, someone that you know dies.

You are going to get put into a storm. And what's scary about it is it's an emotional storm. And you have no control of it. So you're going to break down, start crying. You're going to remember bad things, good things. You're not going to be in control of your emotions, which is very difficult for adults because we're usually. to having some level of control over our emotions. So for a period of time, you're going to get hit with waves of emotion that you have no control

and they're going to knock you off your feet and you're not going to be able to finish a sentence. You're going to, it's very, very difficult. But over time, that storm is going to fade a little bit. And those waves are going to get weaker. And those waves still may come. So I don't know if you've lost anyone that's close to you. There's going to be times where it's been. a month since your friend died and you're going to be sitting there and you're going to hear a song

or you're going to smell a burger that you once had with this individual and you're going to get overcome with those waves of emotion again and you might start crying right there you might have this massive wave of emotion hit you and it'll and then it'll subside and over time the waves will become weaker and they'll become less frequent and and here's where people also get trouble. They think that that means that they didn't care about that person. And that's not true at all. It's just that your mind is processing it and it's okay. So that's what happens. You start off with these huge uncontrollable emotional storm. That storm will pass. That's number one. Just know that that storm is normal and it's going to pass and then it's going to still hit you. But over time,

those waves of sadness and sorrow are going to get weaker and they're going to get less frequent and that's okay, that's a good thing. Remember, but don't dwell. So you've got to, look, you remember your friends, you honor your friends, you remember what they gave you, what they taught you, what you learned from them, what was great about them, what you missed about them, you remember all those things, but you don't dwell in the past and dwell on those thoughts and dwell on the loss all the time because that's not healthy either and it's not going to help you. It's not what your friend would want you to do anyways.

I like the insight around when you are going through grief and then you stop the sense of guilt that comes through because you feel now somehow that you're doing a disservice to their memory, like you didn't really care or something like that. Yeah. It helps to, you know, it helps to write about, what I've told people to do is write that personal letter and tell them what you loved about them, what you're going to miss about them, how you felt about them, what you regret. You write all that stuff in a letter, put an envelope, bring it to their grave, and put it there.

And that will help you process as well. I mean, I've unfortunately or fortunately, I've given a bunch of eulogies for friends that I've lost. And in the beginning, I didn't really recognize that that's a way of healing. but certainly writing down your emotions, your feelings, what you're going to miss, what you loved about them is very therapeutic and it's very good. And so that's another thing I recommend is you write that stuff down and you bring it to them. Why do I think people are drawn to advice telling them to do hard things? Because I think any person, any human realizes that if you want some kind of a good outcome, you're going to have to work hard for it.

and if you don't work hard for something, you're not going to get an outcome that's really worth much. Well, that is the thing that separates the achievements on the other side of it, right? If it was easy, everyone would do it. If it was easy, everyone would achieve it. So this is one of the things that I try and rely on. When training's been getting hard, so I ruptured my Achilles a couple of years ago, that sucked.

I wouldn't advise it as an injury generally. Yeah, and it's like a random, a lot of time. Sometimes people just do it, you know, getting out of their car or something. I was playing cricket. During that, during the rehab for that, it's pretty just uncomfortable. It's endless calf raises, right, which not fun. And the discomfort that you feel and the fear of it re-rupturing, which is the number one thing you don't want it to have happen, the thing that I went back to in my mind was, this is why I'm here.

The discomfort that I was feeling, the effort, the pain, the sweat. Thankfully, this was during COVID, so it meant that if I was. I had to do a workout every single morning for half an hour on just my carbs. It's like, what else are you doing? Right, there's a pandemic going on. This is why you're here was the reminder. It's like, look, this is the reason why the re-rupure rate is 5 to 10% because people don't want to do this thing. People don't want to do the thing because it hurts, because it takes half an hour

every single day for nearly 12 months. It's a full 12-month recovery. That's why. This is why you're here. And I think that you're right. I think that the selection is people deep down know that picking up heavy things physically, psychologically, existentially, culturally is good for us. And I think that that's why it's attractive.

I agree. Do no fault of anyone. The kid gets sick or the person gets sick. And no, there's nothing you can do about that. What you can take ownership, though, is how you respond to that situation. And so that's what you have to do. There's things that you can control. There's things you can't control.

Now I will tell you that human beings can control a lot more than they think they can and Oftentimes it's pretty easy just to say oh that's not me that's not on me and I think that's That's the whole genesis of the idea of extreme ownership is most of the time or much of the time People say that's not my fault. There's nothing I can do about that and More often than people think there is something you can do about it and you can and it is your fault I had said something along the lines of combat was sort of when I most felt alive and I wouldn't trade it for anything. And I also would say the worst days of my life were in war losing my friends and war is horrible.

And the way I responded to it and I asked him if he had anyone, had ever known anyone that had cancer and had come out the other side. And he said yes. And I said, oftentimes those people say, I wouldn't wish it on anybody, but I'm glad it happened to me because it gave me such a better perspective about life and about value and about the fragility of life and all those things. And that's the way I feel about combat. I don't wish it on anybody, but I wouldn't, wouldn't give it up. I wouldn't trade it for anything. And so I think what you're talking about is a great way of looking at your past to say, oh, okay.

I had some hardships and I benefited from those. It's basically the same thing as saying, got bullied? Good. Now I know how to handle myself a little bit better. I didn't have a bunch of friends. Good. Now I feel more comfortable when I'm alone. Do you have any advice to men that are getting older and becoming chronically aware of that?

Yeah. Lift weights, do Jiu-Jitsu, go for runs, stretch out, eat good. Stop drinking. Pretty straightforward. If you don't use it, you're going to lose it. every day that you don't do work, you're going backwards. And it definitely will hurt you and it'll show up. You can't get away with what you got away with when you were 23.

It doesn't work. You have to stay ahead of it. When you're watching TV or you're looking at Instagram or you're going out for dinner on a date and you go to a movie. I'm not doing that. I'm reading a book. I'm getting ready for a podcast. I'm writing something.

I'm preparing for something. I'm talking to a client. I'm designing something. I'm thinking about a new supplement. It's just a guy asked me the other day, are you working more now than you were when you were in the SEAL teams? And the answer is 100%. Yes, I'm working harder now.

As I've said since day one, it's motivation is a feeling that comes and goes, and it doesn't matter whether it's there or not. Discipline is infinitely more important. So no matter how you feel, get up and do what you're supposed to do. That's it. And that's discipline. It's not motivation.

If you only did what you were supposed to do when you were motivated to do it, that's leaving it the chance. But if you're disciplined, you go to what you're supposed to do. That's the way it works. Discipline equals freedom. That's it. I mean, if you have the discipline to get up and get the things done, you know the weekend where you really only had two things to do for the weekend? whatever it was. You had to write this thing and you had to answer this other thing. And on Friday, you're like, I'll do it tomorrow and on Saturday. Like, I'll do it. And it's

basically hanging over your head the whole weekend. Whereas if you've just done Friday afternoon, the whole weekend would have been a lot better. So just do the thing. Just shut up and go do what you're supposed to do. Look, look, if you take any idea and you take it to an extreme, then that idea is going to become bad. I mean, even the idea of extreme ownership, If you take it to an extreme where you're, as you pointed out earlier, you're blaming yourself because your daughter got a disease or you're blaming yourself because your husband is abusing you. Like there's a point where you think anything go too far. And, you know, yeah, take it to an extreme. It can become pretty silly or funny depending on how you take it.

But for the most part, you're going to run into challenges in life. and if you curl up into a ball and complain about it, that's not going to help you. And if you say, okay, cool, good, here's some adjustments I can make to move forward. That's going to be a better move than cowering. Life without those challenges, it's existence. Don't just exist. Eventually, inaction will cost you. But your default setting should be, I'm going to do something.

Just get up, move towards that challenge, and go attack. Go do something that's hard. Struggle sucks. Depends on how you frame it. If you want freedom in your life, you have to have discipline. Move towards that challenge, whatever that challenge is. And you may be successful, and you may not be successful, but you will be better. And the next challenge, you can be more prepared for.

Because we're going to have wins, we're going to have losses. We're going to have successes. We're going to have failures. We're going to have good nights. We're going to have bad nights. We're going to have good relationships. We're going to have good ideas and bad ideas. We're going to make money.

We're going to lose money. All these things are going to happen. And if you oscillate emotionally, up and down, drastically, it's going to be problematic. Embrace those emotions, but don't let those emotions embrace you. Keep pushing through things that suck. This is a very difficult thing to do because it hurts. I'm going to go forward. I'm not going to quit, so I'm going to go forward.

Bring it on. I think it's really important because as men, we don't, we get conflicting messages about emotion and how to express it and what that looks like. And there's a lot of men struggling right now. Every human faces challenges, and you don't know what they've been through. Suppressing them isn't going to help, and nor is letting them run your life. Because you're sad, now you're going to make a bunch of bad decisions because you're sad. No, no, it doesn't work like that.

That doesn't work like that. You're sad. Okay. You get emotional sometimes? Okay. Got it. Now, get control of your emotions and carry on with your life. And sometimes you're going to get hit with those waves.

And that's okay. I'm having an emotional moment right now. There's something wrong with me. No, there's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. The other extreme is, oh, I'm letting my emotions run my life, and I'm making a bunch of bad decisions. And my excuse is, well, you know,

lost from friends or I had this traumatic experience happen to me. That's why I'm doing. That's just an excuse. And it's a very easy excuse. Guess what? It's time to carry on. Remember, don't dwell. I'm in control. This is my life. If you are in the problem, you won't see the solution to the problem. Take a step back, detach from the chaos, detach from the mayhem, detach from your emotions, detached from your ego and be able to assess the best way to execute that is the job of a leader. If you take any trait of a human being and you take it to an extreme, masculine or feminine or otherwise, you take it to an extreme, it's going to be a problem. Is it good to have no emotions whatsoever?

No, that's called a sociopath. Is it good to let your emotions run your life and make your decisions based on your emotions? No, that's not good either. What do we want to be as a human, as a man? I want to be balanced. It's much easier to be extreme. It's much easier to say, oh, no emotions, cool, and turn them off. That's easier.

Or total emotion, mayhem, that's easier. It's harder to find balance. It's harder to find balance in business. It's hard to find balance. In life, it's hard to find balance. But you have to be balanced. Because what I want is for the team to win. So be balanced.