Motivation Daily by Motiversity - WHY YOU NEED TO QUIT DRINKING ALCOHOL - Some of the Most Eye Opening Motivation Ever

Episode Date: October 13, 2023

WHY YOU MUST QUIT DRINKING ALCOHOL. You wouldn't suspect the figures that you see and hear about every day struggling and overcoming addiction. Tyson Fury, Dr. Jordan B Peterson, Rich Roll, Niall Horan from One Direction, Lucy Hale from Pretty Little Liars, and more give their accounts on the harms that drinking is causing in the world in one of the most eye opening motivational episodes, ever."At least one in ten Americans meet the criteria for either alcohol abuse or alcohol dependence; which we now call 'alcohol use disorder'."Special thanks to our partner channels:https://www.youtube.com/@BreakfastClubPower1051FMhttps://www.youtube.com/@TheDiaryOfACEOhttps://www.youtube.com/@SHOSportshttps://www.youtube.com/@VALUETAINMENThttps://www.youtube.com/@UCKsP3v2JeT2hWI_HzkxWiMAWatch the full interview between Jack Canfield and Lewis Howes here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnYhmOzTVFE&t=0sSpeakers:Tyson FuryDr. Jordan B PetersonLucy HaleDr. Daniel AmenJesse LingardDoug PobstDavina McCallClark KegleyNiall HoranMusic:AudiojungleEpidemic Sound▶Subscribe for New Motivational Videos Every Week:http://bit.ly/MotivationVids▶DOWNLOAD our Top 100 Quotes of All Time:https://bit.ly/topquotesfreepdf▶JOIN our Newsletter for Exclusive Updates, Discounts, and Deals: https://bit.ly/Motiversitynewsletter▶READ our Weekly Blog -https://bit.ly/motiversityblog▶SHOP Official Motivational Canvases and Apparel -https://bit.ly/motiversityshop▶BECOME A MEMBER of our loyal community!https://bit.ly/motiversitymembers Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Two DUIs in a row, ridiculously high blood alcohol contents. Looking at jail time, a precipice of getting fired, chaotic disaster that I weathered, very much links to my alcoholism. It's also the only drug we know that actually makes people more aggressive. I didn't know what was going on. I started to drink more and more and more. It was really hard for me to accept that that meant I was an alcoholic. I woke up with the worst hangover.

Alcohol used to be this social thing I used to connect with people and go out, had now become something I did nightly alone by myself. You know, those situations created such a deep level of shame inside of me that I wasn't able to shake alcohol in the wake of those experiences. Real Lucy came out when she was drinking. I was drinking just trying to take the pain away. sobriety first. I got and stayed sober by overcoming denial, finding people to talk to, being honest, holding myself accountable, working a program, and helping others and working with

a sponsor. It's really only when I created a solid foundation of sobriety that I began to expand in other areas. Having a lot of time at home, I think a lot of people had this same sort of thing, alcohol. It was just really, it was getting earlier and earlier. Easier and easier to go to. It was a situation in which no matter what I did, you didn't quite get the validation that you were seeking, so you're always chasing it a little bit more, a little bit more, to the point where unbeknownst to me or on an unconscious level, like, I needed to escape that paradigm. And my first escape was through drugs and alcohol. Every time I had done something or said something that I regretted, it was when I was drinking. And I thought at one point, maybe I don't want to live a life where I'm continually wishing that I hadn't said or done something. And I just spiraled out of control.

I didn't care. I didn't want to live. I'd lost a passion to live. Because whatever is in the alcohol puts you in a bad state, I didn't care. It was like, oh, you've worked all your life for this. He's not bothered my wife, I'd say, I'd say, no, I don't care if I had nothing. I don't care if I was dead. My parents had reached the level of their tolerance threshold with me.

And basically, my dad said, listen, we love you, but we just can't continue to watch you destroy yourself like this. And we can't have anything to do with you. I knew I was just spiraling out of control. And the only thing I could think of to make it better go away for a bit was getting drunk. And that just led to problems after problems after problems. So the answer to that question is, nothing can make it go away except medical advice.

I live in the moment because that's the only thing we have in our lives, so moments and time. And as soon as I've gone out of that door, we can never reverse back and play it again because it's real life. It's not a dress rehearsal. So I don't really care what happens five minutes ago. I'm just going to keep going today and living today

and enjoy myself because I know what God gives God can take away in the flash of a second it can all be turned upside down and I've experienced it but I believe it was a massive test because sometimes in life when everything's going great for you and you don't know good from bad you need to experience a little rain sometimes

so you can enjoy the sunshine again alcohol is an extraordinarily pernicious drug and if you're inclined towards it you can be inclined towards it because you're sensitive to its anxiety-reducing properties, or you can be sensitive to it because it enhances social communication, or because it produces a psychomotor high, or all of those at once. And if you're particularly predisposed to alcoholism,

you can experience all three at once. My business partner, when we started the business, became an alcoholic about three, four years in because it was just too tough. And then he had severe side ideation. He actually didn't tell me at the time. And this is why when I was reading about your story, I could relate to so much of it because I didn't say what I was going through to him. He didn't say it to me.

And then it was like after we'd sold the business that he was like, I used to stand on the train platforms and think about jumping in front of the train. I didn't know what alcoholism or really mental health was at the time. But I'd go downstairs at 3am in the morning and I'd open up the laundry room and he's in there with a bottle of wine at 3am. The lights are off and he's just drinking it, sat on the clothes. And I read similar thing, similar sort of story or narratives in your story where you know you were having moments of that kind of

of like ideation. You were having moments of style ideation. Yeah, I mean, there's some stuff that I've definitely like never, never spoken about to do with it. There was really, really, really severe. And it was only until I saw myself after that. I was like, right, I need to fix myself. It was like few pictures of me on a boat and I'm all like bloated out. And I call it pills and boo's face. And I was like this. Like my face was just like 10 times more than it is now. And I just didn't like myself very much. Then I made a change. And the problem we had in the band and I don't blame anybody for this. I don't want to seem like I'm whining or moaned. Oh my God, look at my life. Whatever. But it feels to me like when we were in the band, the best way to secure us because of how

big it got was just lock us in our rooms. And of course, what's in the room? Mini bar. So at a certain point, I thought, well, I'm going to have a party for one. And that just seemed to carry on throughout many years in my life. And then you look back how long you've been drinking and stuff for you're like, Jesus Christ, that's a long time, even for someone who's, you know, as young as I was. Fitness really saved my life when I was in the depths of despair, when I I was incarcerated on felony drug charges. And up until that point, I was the most unhealthy person you could think of. I was managing some trauma with some super unhealthy ways, such as drugs, alcohol, all that stuff.

My life was really spinning out of control. And so what really helped me was when my cellmate took me, looked me in the face. And he said, Doug, you can either be a man or you can be a bitch. Because I was complaining to him when I was in jail. I was like, dude, I have so many problems. My parents are this. My friends are this. I was bullied. I was picked on. I was all kinds of made fun of. And he's like, well, Doug,

like, you made the choices in those situations that got yourself incarcerated. And I was like, well, what do you mean? And he was like, you're here, aren't you? And I really believe, Tom, that we're not defined by our circumstances. We're defined by the choices we make in response to our circumstances. And he said, when I was in jail, he's like, you can be a man and look yourself in the mirror and say, you know what, take responsibility for yourself. You got yourself here. You're here right now. and you can, you know, man up and do what you need to do to get better. Or you can be a bitch. Go cry in the corner, blame everybody for your problem, say, woe is me.

And where I came from where I grew up, I mean, being called a bitch isn't cool. And I was like, you know what, I'll take the opportunity of being a man. It's tough. And I think, especially when we don't believe, have that belief in ourselves, when somebody says, I believe in you and you can do it. And I'm going to help show you the way to get you started. I was like, I never had anybody do that to me before, that unconditional love. And I just felt like this void being filled from, you know,

whether it was the friends I had that were just using me for drugs or whether it was my relationship with my parents. And that, to me, was just, like, what really kick-started that belief in me and inspired me to take a chance. It's your responsibility to change. Like, no one's going to do it for you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror. Alcohol, because it enhances sociability and also suppresses anxiety,

is a good social anxiety medication. But the problem is, is you don't learn how to conduct yourself. as a sober individual in social circumstances. And you learn very rapidly to rely on the alcohol, not only as a social lubricant, but as the basis of your social behavior. And I would say, you know, to young people who are watching, listening, that's a stupid plan.

You should learn how to be in a social group with others when you're sober so that you bloody well know how to do it. I had a friend in Montreal. They had this monkey ranch on St. Kitts, and they used to go down there and study the effects of alcohol on green monkeys, which 5% of whom would drink to coma on first exposure. And they had videotapes of these damn monkeys drinking, and it looked like a frat party, you know.

And but 5% of them on first exposure would drink to coma. And those were the monkeys that had a biological predisposition to alcohol, to alcoholism. And alcohol is a really bad drug, you know. 50% of murders take place in an alcohol-fueled environment. Either the victim or the perpetrator or both is drunk. It's almost the sole cause of domestic abuse. It's almost the sole cause of so-called date.

If you dig into criminal behavior deeply enough, well, hell, you don't have to dig much at all before you find alcohol. It's that actually makes people more aggressive, not merely because they don't know what they're doing. We did experiments at McGill showing that if you took drunk people and put them in a competitive environment where they could be aggressive and had them keep track of their aggression, so they were actually conscious of it, they became more aggressive even rather than less. So, yeah, alcohol's bad news, and it can turn perfectly good people into quite the, quite the impulsive and dim-witted monsters. So with my mum, she was an alcoholic. I then got into recovery and then came the thing of how long do I go along with my mum

being an alcoholic without saying you're an alcoholic. And you need to do something about it because it's getting really bad. And after a few years of being in recovery, talking to my sponsor, going to meeting, sharing about it, I thought, I'm going to confront her about it. And I said, you're an alcoholic, you need to do something about it. And then she got really angry with me, and she didn't do anything about it. Eventually, I just said, look, I can't see you until you get sober. And she got sober.

And I invited her to my wedding. I've been happy at different points in my life, but I hadn't ever experienced joy. And to me, the difference in happiness and being joyous, joyous is long-term and sustainable, and it doesn't come from, anything external comes from here. Basically, what alcohol did for me, it was like this feeling of, oh, my God, this is what I've been searching for my whole life. I'm my truest self, right?

Like, I'm so much funnier and cooler and people like me. That's all bullshit. Guess what? Not true. I was not myself, not my truest self. But it started with, wow, I can be free and funny and boys will like me. This is when I'm younger, right? And I just held on to that belief that real Lucy came out when she was drinking.

Guess what? Real Lucy did come out, but it was that rage and pain that I had been holding onto for so long. But it also quieted my mind. And I'm not the only person on the planet that deals with this. But my brain just goes, doesn't shut off. It's exhausting. But when I drink, because I was like textbook binge drinker. like blackout wouldn't remember what I did what I said which is scary and and it's also hard

to explain that type of drinking to someone because people who haven't experienced it or dealt with it personally like you addiction is such a topic that is still so taboo because it's because people would just tell me well Lucy don't drink oh thank you oh okay thank you so much I'll try that. Thanks. I get emotional when I speak about these things because I just love where I've landed in my life. And it's been a really, Jesus, I didn't know I'd get like emotional this early on. It's just been a really powerful and painful, insightful, joyful, joyous, horrible journey. And I love that I can sit across from you now and be my most authentic. self. I've always kind of felt like an open wound, if that makes sense. Like, even as a kid, I just felt like I felt things in a really deep way. You could call that maybe codependency or taking on problems that weren't mine. But now I get emotional because of the perspective and just having pride in the choices I've made.

And it's not emotional tears in a sad way. It's more just joy.