NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast - Are Corporate Investors Wrecking Housing? Plus How to Date Without Wrecking Your Budget

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

Big investors aren’t wrecking housing the way you think they are, and dating on a budget could be more romantic than you think. What role do corporate investors actually play in making homes unaffo...rdable, and would banning them fix the problem? We examine the data behind one of housing’s most contentious debates with senior news writer Anna Helhoski and mortgage writers Abby Badach Doyle and Kate Wood, who look at why institutional investors have become a political flashpoint, what the proposed investor ban in the 21st Century ROAD to Housing Act would actually mean for everyday buyers, and what the numbers reveal about who really owns most investor-held single-family homes in America.  How do you keep dating from draining your budget when you feel the pressure to spend? Host Sean Pyles, CFP®, and Elizabeth Ayoola dig into a listener’s question about navigating dating with traditional values, including the expectation to pay for everything and where romance fits into a healthy financial plan. They explore how to make meaningful, lower-cost dates work without seeming cheap, what “equal versus equitable” looks like when two people with different incomes are dating, and when the right moment is to bring up money with someone you’re seriously considering building a future with. What Is the Housing for the 21st Century Act? https://www.nerdwallet.com/mortgages/news/locked-out-housing-for-the-21st-century-act  Survey: Most Say Men Should Pay for First Date in Hetero Couples https://www.nerdwallet.com/finance/studies/survey-pay-for-date  Survey: 17% of Americans Say Credit Card Debt Is a Dating Dealbreaker https://www.nerdwallet.com/finance/studies/2026-dating-dealbreakers  Want us to review your budget? Fill out this form — completely anonymously if you want — and we might feature your budget in a future segment! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScK53yAufsc4v5UpghhVfxtk2MoyooHzlSIRBnRxUPl3hKBig/viewform?usp=header To send the Nerds your money questions, call or text the Nerd hotline at 901-730-6373 or email podcast@nerdwallet.com. Like what you hear? Please leave us a review and tell a friend. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:23 I'm Sean Piles. And I'm Elizabeth Ayola. Even though it's way past Valentine's Day, although it's always Valentine's Day in my house, we are answering a listener's question about money and money. romance. But first of all, our weekly money news roundup, where we break down the latest in the world of finance to help you be smarter with your money. Now, our news colleague, Anahel Hoski, is back. Hey, Ana Hey. Hey, Elizabeth. Ashon. Yeah, if you've been falling the housing market or even just scrolling certain corners of social media, you've probably seen a lot of frustration about large investors buying up single family homes. That's become a political flashpoint, with some lawmakers proposing limits on big institutional investors in an
Starting point is 00:02:03 effort to make housing more affordable. But how big a role do those investors actually play and would restricting them make a meaningful difference? Today, we're joined by mortgage writers Abby Badak Doyle and Kate Wood to break it down. Welcome back, both of you. Thanks for having us. Good to be here. It's always convenient to cast Wall Street as a villain and most people don't have a problem with that. And at the moment, corporate homebuyers really seem to be the bad guys in the housing market. So can you explain a little bit about that? Sure. It really taps into how frustrated a lot of buyers feel. Home prices are high and inventory is tight and buyers just kind of feel like they're competing against forces that they can't control. And this is an explanation that resonates.
Starting point is 00:02:44 To sum up the issue, the concern is when real estate companies come in and buy up lower priced homes, sometimes paying cash or outbidding local buyers. And then what would have been a starter home owned by someone local is now a rental property owned by a corporation with no real connection into the neighborhood. She's doing go here. Exactly. And in a story that I reported for nerd wallet last year, one first time home buyer in Pittsburgh told me that she would keep seeing this happen. Like, a good listing would pop up. She'd get excited. And then it would sell quickly. And she'd see it on the market, you know, in a couple weeks flipped as a rental. And it always had that same look, right? The gray floors, the gray walls, everything like very gray washed.
Starting point is 00:03:27 Thank you, HGTV. Just shout out for making house flippers think that that. is what everybody wants. It's frustrating, right? Like, if you've been house hunting for a year or more, it can feel like the goalposts just keep getting pushed back. And it's only human to want something to blame and corporate investors are an easy target. So how widespread is the narrative that big investors are buying up all the homes? It seems like a pretty classic populist message that resonates across the political spectrum. So this is really popular with voters. And you're absolutely right, Anna, all across the board. So last fall, in September, the left-leaning think tank, the Searchlight Institute, did a survey looking at voter
Starting point is 00:04:06 sentiment around the housing market. They found that nearly half of respondents, so 48% of voters, believe that investors using housing for profit is a primary driver of high home prices. So this is something that a lot of folks out there feel pretty strongly about. And why is it resonating at this moment? You know, this idea that corporate investors are buying up housing isn't exactly new. It's not new. What's also not exactly. exactly new is that the housing market is not especially buyer-friendly. And so, you know, a couple years of just housing market fatigue in, you're really looking for a punching bag. But why we're really hearing a lot about this right now is because investor-owned housing has become this political
Starting point is 00:04:46 talking point. Back in January, President Trump signed an executive order that was specifically aimed at limiting large institutional investors from buying single-family homes. At that time, it was pretty vague. We didn't really have any numbers or how that was going to work. But since then, it's become a lot more crystallized. That's because this so-called investor ban is now being debated as part of the 21st century Road to Housing Act. So this is a major bipartisan housing bill that's been working its way through Congress for a while, but it passed the Senate. It's now with the house. The investor ban wasn't part of the original bill, but Trump had made clear that he was not going to sign off on this bill if the investor ban was not included.
Starting point is 00:05:27 So all of a sudden, the investor ban is back, and it's actually been getting even more play recently than when it was initially floated back in January. All right. Well, we've established that corporate investors are getting a lot of attention in the housing debate. But what does the data actually say about the role in the market? So when you dig into property data in the U.S., institutional investors' role is much smaller than people might expect. So first, let's zoom all the way out, right? if we're looking at all single-family properties across the U.S., right? We're ignoring multifamily for right now.
Starting point is 00:05:59 I'm sorry, guys. So overall, single-family properties about 18% are owned by investors, period. So investors of any size, it's about one in five homes. When we had that original executive order, it didn't define institutional investors. Like, how many homes until you're institutional? The Road to Housing Act actually has put in a threshold, and it's 350 or more properties. So last year in 2025, investors who owned 350 or more properties accounted for 7.5% of all investor purchases.
Starting point is 00:06:35 So this is according to data from realtor.com. Really need to underscore 7.5% of all investor purchases. So this isn't all home purchases. It's just purchases where the buyer was an investor. So if it's not the big guys, who's buying all these houses? Well, if you're looking at who owns investor-owned properties, the vast majority of investor-owned properties are held by folks with portfolios of one to five properties. As of Q4-2020-5, these folks with one-to-five properties made up 92% of that investor-owned pie.
Starting point is 00:07:11 And if you add in the folks who have six to ten properties, so they're still pretty small-time players, that goes up to 96%. And these numbers are coming from batch data, which is an investor-focused real estate data platform. TLDR, if we are looking at who owns investor-owned properties in the U.S., these small-timers piece of the pie is so big that they pretty much own the whole pie, at least, you know, numerically. When you're looking at it from that other perspective, particularly the perspective of a homeowner, this is something where when people have that opportunity, it's like, oh, passive income stream. People don't think about how hard it is to be a landlord or like what a pain it's going to be,
Starting point is 00:07:49 but the whole idea of like, wait, you could just like have this business is so big. When I sold my home, people were in like disbelief that I wanted to sell and that I didn't want to retain it as a rental. Right. Exactly. And to be clear, owning an investment property is not a bad thing, right? And we've written that advice here at NordWollet about how buying a duplex or a multifamily home can really be a path to financial stability for folks, especially for single buyers.
Starting point is 00:08:17 So to sum it all up, the image of the Goliath Wall Street firm buying up entire neighborhoods and pricing out local buyers is not actually typically what's happening. This generally isn't the case. So I really tend to explain this to people as a full-on Scooby-Doo scenario because we are out here, we are chasing this monster, this big institutional investor, this Wall Street fat cat, right? But we finally catch them. Fred pulls off the mask. It's someone we've already met. Okay. It is a red. regular everyday person. It's not a monster. It's your friends. It's your neighbors. It's a family member. These are regular people who maybe, you know, for different reasons, came into owning a separate property, liked it, maybe bought another one. But they don't own, you know, these massive portfolios and don't really have a like hidden agenda for the country or the city or even the neighborhood. They're kind of just trying to make money. So the proposal among lawmakers would restrict large investors. But would that actually make homes any more affordable? It could make a difference in certain local markets where investors are really concentrated, but nationally, an investor ban really wouldn't be a magic bullet. Like the bigger issue here is supply, right? Like, we still don't have enough homes for sale, especially at that entry level price point. So demand from everyday buyers still outpaces what's listed for sale. So even if you reduced the role of institutional investors, it wouldn't suddenly flood the market with homes or bring prices down.
Starting point is 00:09:47 dramatically. Okay. Is there anything else that listeners should understand about how corporate investors are fitting into the housing market right now? Sure. So to build on what Abby just said and also to add a little more nuance to my, you know, Scooby-Dum metaphor, one thing is to understand that, you know, we are, again, talking at the national level. So this might look really different depending on where you live. Institutional investors are relatively concentrated and you tend to see the most institutionally owned homes in your Sunbelt cities. So think places like Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, Charlotte. These are places where the housing stock tends to be newer and more standardized. So it's a lot more large investor-friendly. Needless to say, where I live in New England,
Starting point is 00:10:27 institutional investors barely have a foothold. And again, sort of your devil's advocate point is that investors are just like part of that overall housing market, you know, ecosystem. Yes, on one hand, these are not, you know, family-owned homes. They're owned by another person or buy an entity, but they are providing rental housing, and rental housing is a significant portion of the sort of overall American housing ecosystem. So when we're talking about affordability, again, the bigger lever is going to be building more homes rather than focusing on who is buying the homes. Totally. And that's why I've been following this housing bill as it's moving through Congress. And if it becomes law, it could spark some real change about making it faster to build
Starting point is 00:11:10 homes, easier to build homes, and more supply is really what moves the needle on affordability rather than limiting institutional investors alone. All right. Any final thoughts from either of you? I would say it is really easy to feel overwhelmed when you're house hunting because so much of the market is out of your control. There are just a ton of factors that you don't really have a hand in. So it's really important to focus on the aspects that you can control. These are things like your budget, your financing, making sure every part of your financial picture is strong and in place so that you are a strong candidate when you are ready to apply for a mortgage. You're able to make an offer that will be competitive in your market. And when the right home does come along,
Starting point is 00:11:55 you will just be ready to pounce and move forward with that sale. This is the time of year that we start to see more inventory coming on the market, too. And all it takes is one house. So if it's felt hopeless for a little while, there's still hope ahead in the springtime. me and Kate, thanks so much for joining us. Oh, thank you for having us. And thank you, Anna. I mean, my biggest takeaway here is that I'll be blaming my family and friends for the in affordability of the housing.
Starting point is 00:12:20 And, Sean, if you buy another house, I'll be blaming you too. You're looking at me. I am fully a landlord and Garrett and I are looking into buying a duplex. So I'm happy to put on my Scooby-Dumax anytime. It's all your fault. It's all your fault, Sean. Just kidding. All right.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Up next, we answer listeners' question about money and love and who is spending what. But before we get into that, we want to remind you all to send us your money questions. If you are struggling to get into the housing market yourself, then please send us questions about how you can get into the market with your budget. And if you have a question about budgeting or anything else under the sun, we are here to help you. Leave us a voicemail or text us on the nerd hotline at 901, 730, 63. Again, that's 901, 730, N-E-R-D. We also see all of your lovely comments on Spotify. them coming and you can also pop your money questions in the comment section there too.
Starting point is 00:13:13 You can also send us an email to podcast atnerballot.com. We're back in a moment. Stay with us. It's never too early to plan your summer story in Europe with WestJet, from rolling countryside to cobblestone streets. Begin your next chapter. Book your seat at westjet.com or call your travel agent. WestJet, where your story takes off. This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the power move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate launch. The real power move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new power move. We're back and answering your money questions to help you make smarter financial decisions.
Starting point is 00:14:13 This episode's question comes from a listener's Spotify comment. Hey, nerds, wondering if there's any tips and tricks for dating while maintaining financial goals and budget. I have some more traditional values. I pay for all the dates as the man. Want to show her I care for her and value her, but also don't want to build in bad habits of going out all the time and potentially overspending. Thanks. All right. Sean and I are going to answer this listener's juicy, very, very juicy question ourselves.
Starting point is 00:14:39 Are you ready, Sean, to get into it? I have a feeling we might disagree at some points here. I'm so ready. Let's see. Frankly, I hope we disagree, but we'll see. So one of the first things I'm thinking about with this question because there's so much to dig into here is really how to maintain financial goals while dating and where dating fits into your budget. In my mind, dating is going to come from the wants category. It's a discretionary expense.
Starting point is 00:15:04 And it can vary so much what you're spending on a date, how you're spending on dates, who's spending what on dates. who's spending what on dates. But I do think it should come from that wants category. What do you think? I agree with you there, Sean. However, honestly, I don't spend much on dates. So it's not a big line item in my budget. I'm being taken out.
Starting point is 00:15:24 So I'm not spending much on dating. But wait, are we including getting cute for the date? I mean, you know, hair, lashes when I want to waste money. Are we talking about things like that or just paying for the actual date? Well, our listener seems like they're talking about paying for the event itself. but what you're getting to is that there's a lot that can be paid for before the date. Like, what are your clothes that you're wearing on? You mentioned your hair.
Starting point is 00:15:45 But yeah, there's a lot that can be spent on a date itself. And I think it's important to understand how that's going to fit into other financial priorities. So with our listener here, what else do they want to be spending their money on? What else do they want to be doing in their life? So are they saving for retirement? I would say that might be more important than going out to an expensive date. Are they saving for their emergency fund? Do they have their necessities covered in their budget too?
Starting point is 00:16:09 All of these essential should be, I think, taking precedent over just going out on the date. I agree. And like you said, I think it could just be baked into your fund money. For people like you, Sean, who have a fun money sinking fund or bucket, I think the money can be baked into there. And my boyfriend gives me a lot of flack for saying this. And other people may as well. But I don't know if people should be dating if they don't have enough money in their budget to date. Really?
Starting point is 00:16:33 Maybe it shouldn't be a priority. Yeah. But I think this speaks to how you don't necessarily have to spend a lot of money to be dating. You can find creative, inexpensive ways to go out and still have that romantic need fulfilled. I agree. However, this is where this thought comes from. And I mean this for both people, not just for one party, whatever way that you identify yourself in terms of genders. So when I first moved back to the States, I had just gotten a divorce and I decided it was time to start dating again and getting my feet wet, as they say. I was really broke when I first moved back here, and I barely had enough money to do anything, to be quite honest.
Starting point is 00:17:11 And I said to myself, you know, what if I go on a date because I have this rule for myself that I will not go on a date if I can't afford to pay for the meal that I order. So, you know, heavens forbid the other person says, hey, I'm not paying for the food or go sit back or never comes back. I should be able to pay for my food. And I feel like if I can't do that, then I probably shouldn't be prioritizing dating. This is obviously extreme circumstance, but if I can't fill my gas tank, for example, to go to and from the date, then I probably shouldn't be going on it. So those are just the rules that I set for myself. And that's why I say if you can afford the basics, just the basics of going out on a date, then maybe you shouldn't be dating. But that's just my two sentence.
Starting point is 00:17:50 My twist on that is adjust the date to make sure that if your date does leave you in the middle of the date to, you know, secret run off to the bathroom and never come back, that you would still be covered. So in that case, maybe it's doing something like going for a walk in the park, having a nice picnic. You don't have to go out to an expensive meal. And I think a lot of people who maybe have a more traditional mindset around dating can get caught in this loop of what a date should be looking like, where you bring flowers and you take them out and you're driving them around. I don't think a lot of people necessarily expect that. And if they do, it makes me wonder what the priority really is in dating. Is it to get to know someone who could be a partner? or is it to be treated?
Starting point is 00:18:31 And, you know, I guess sometimes it can be nice to be treated for sure. But, yeah, it comes down to what you want out of the relationship. Sean, I love that you bring that up because the answer to your question depends on what side of social media that you're on. Did you ever see that viral video about the Cheesecake Factory? No. The lady who left, okay, this lady who, you know, went on camera and said that she wasn't going on a date. You know, she got all dressed up, got to the front of the Cheesecake Factory. She didn't realize that's where her date was taking her.
Starting point is 00:19:00 And she refused to go inside because she's like, I'm not going on a cheap date to the cheesecake factory. And of course, it created this yes. Okay, so, look, sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth. One, a cheesecake factory date might be cheesy, pun intended there, but it's not cheap. That place is expensive. But this is the times we're living in,
Starting point is 00:19:18 depending on what side of social media you're on, where people are saying cheesecake factory is a cheap date. There's also a side of the internet that says people are not going on a coffee date for the first date. Many people I see online are attaching the cost of the date to how much the person taking them out on the date values them. And I'm finding that interesting. Our listener is basically saying that I can only show that I care for her and value her if they're putting money toward that date. When to me, that's just so not how I approach relationships.
Starting point is 00:19:48 For me, time spent together or words of affirmation are more kind of my love language and how I show people that I love, that I do love them. and money is not really a factor in that. I feel the same, and it also makes me think about the listener didn't specify, but what stage of dating that they're in, right? Because I think when you're first getting to know someone, the first couple of dates are very different from you've been dating maybe for six months. And I think the nature of your dates can also evolve in addition to how much you spend. It was a time I had an extremely traditional mindset and was like,
Starting point is 00:20:20 look, if I'm putting on my makeup and leaving my house, it can't be, you know, a Starbucks or I don't know. coffee date. I would like to go out and eat a nice dinner. But then I have to take a step back and kind of think about what you're saying, Sean, which is, especially when you first meet someone, I don't even know this person. I don't know if I'm going to like them. And then now I'm stuck at some dinner with someone that I don't even know. So I do think it's more important to see if there's a connection first, to see if you actually even like the person. And yeah, you can do that in a variety ways. One of my most memorable first dates was a walk on the beach. And that didn't cost much money
Starting point is 00:20:51 did it. Maybe we grabbed a pizza. It was an incredible date. We got to talk. I got to know the person, learn a little bit about their values, and we didn't have to spend so much to do that. Yeah, some of the best states are ones where you can actually see how the person views the world and engages with the world around them. And going for a walk on the beach is a good example of that. I would say sitting down at a restaurant and having an expensive meal isn't really a great way to get to know someone except for maybe how they treat weight staff, which is very important, I will say. And hopefully you can get a glimpse of how well they're tipping too, because that's an important thing to me.
Starting point is 00:21:22 But it's such a narrow slice of who they are as a person. And then if you don't like them or if they're really boring, then you're stuck at this table with them, which sounds really miserable. Something we keep kind of circling around is these traditional gender notions of who's dating and who's paying for dates. And all of this is really confined to what I see as sort of more typical heterosexual forms of dating because in gay relationships, I've never even had to deal with this. because I've always approached it kind of 50-50. Like we are coming to this in a really equal footing, and I'm okay splitting the cost of whatever because, look, we're both making money here.
Starting point is 00:22:00 We both want to be on this day together. And it just never felt to me like something where I needed to, you know, expect for someone to pay for something or me being expected to pay for something either unless I say, oh, I'm going to treat you tonight. So do you find that you still are falling into these kind of traditional heterosexual gender dating norms in your relationships, Elizabeth?
Starting point is 00:22:21 Because it seems like our listener is really steeped in that traditional way of thinking. In my current relationship, it is pretty traditional. So my boyfriend pays for most of the dates. But it doesn't mean I don't pay for any dates. So there are times where I take him out and I pay for the date. Of course, I treat him and do things for him as well. But I think that's just the pace that we've set for ourselves. That's my personal preference.
Starting point is 00:22:41 But I will say ultimately, these kind of conversations always spark so much debate and I don't understand why. And the reason I don't understand why is because it's based on your personal values and everyone's values are different. So if you have values where you like to split it down the middle and go Dutch and you want to do 50-50, there's nothing wrong with that. If both of you are okay with, you know, one person paying predominantly for the dates, there's nothing wrong with that. So I think it all goes down to your values and your personal preference at the end of the day. I think people get up in arms about this because if they're presented with another way of living their life, it threatens their concept of how to have these dynamics that are often really. fragile and maybe could benefit from a shaking up too. So I think there's nothing wrong with
Starting point is 00:23:23 like the woman in this straight relationship saying, hey, I'm going to take you out and I'm paying for this date. I love what you said about maybe people getting defensive when these arguments are brought up because they don't want to challenge their own, maybe norms around dating. Because sometimes it feels like you have to be either or right, that you have to have these traditional values or you have to have more progressive or liberal values. But I find that sometimes I'm somewhere in the middle and that's okay. So sometimes my beliefs are a little contradictory around gender roles, and I'm okay with that. I'm still working through them is what I'm saying. And what I find more interesting beyond even the dynamic of gender norms and heterosexual or gay relationships or
Starting point is 00:23:58 queer relationships is really what might be more fair or equitable for any kind of couple, regardless of who they are. And for me, a lot of that comes down to who's making how much money, because there can be a huge imbalance in finances and relationships. Someone I know is doing pretty well in their career. They have a nice salary. They're dating an artist who isn't bringing in as much. And even though you look at this couple, you would think, oh, the artist is maybe more in the traditional role of being more seasoned in their career. Because they aren't bringing in as much, it's on the other person more often to pay for dates or do things like that, because they just have more resources to do so. And that feels more equitable to me in this relationship. I think ultimately if you make more,
Starting point is 00:24:46 it's only equitable, like you said, that you pay a little bit more. Yeah, and you don't have to have it dialed in down to the penny. But I think some loose understanding of, oh, I'm making $70,000 more than you a year. Let me put some of that toward our own enjoyment as a couple and not sweat every single penny because where's the romance in that? Exactly. And then, Sean, as we're talking about this, I'm wondering how many people actually, hmm, interestingly have conversations with their partner about maybe them wanting to change the dynamics. So it sounds like the listener says he's traditional, right, and pays for all the dates. But what if they had a change of heart and wanted their partner to start maybe chipping in more for the dates budget? How do you approach that kind of conversation?
Starting point is 00:25:28 It feels awkward. That doesn't seem like the first conversation you have about money with your partner. This may be like the third or fourth one, but that really speaks to how it's important to start having financial conversations somewhat early on when you're dating a person, maybe not your first date, but I would say a few months in as you're beginning to understand, oh yeah, I'm going to maybe pay for a weekend away for us. What does that look like for each of your finances and how are you going to split up some of these costs? Then later on you can say, hey, we've been having our finances balanced in this way for a little bit of time. I want to check in with you and see if you feel okay or if maybe you actually feel uncomfortable with me paying for all of this stuff because I know
Starting point is 00:26:06 sometimes people can feel a little bit of pressure or obligation to return the favor in some way to do that if someone is paying for all of their dates. And that can create a power dynamic that can be a little bit unhealthy too. But talking about this and having room to reevaluate how this is structured, I think can make it, again, more equitable for everyone involved. That's right. And then you just mentioned when is the right time to have this conversation. Not every date has appreciated it. But I like to get all the difficult conversations out as quickly as possible. I do.
Starting point is 00:26:40 So you're the first date saying, what's your credit score? Yes. Me and my boyfriend were having a conversation. And the kind of questions he reminded me, I was asked. I said I asked that on a first date. What? Like what are you asking? Very intense questions.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Like, you know what? Actually, when guys try to talk to me sometimes, I'll say, if you want my number, tell me what your top three values are in life. Love it. And most of them can't even answer that question. And I'm like, well, if I see you again next time, then maybe I'll give you my number. I like to ask questions like that.
Starting point is 00:27:06 You're the best. That's so funny. Yeah, so I like to get straight to the values. I'm not a huge small talk girl. I'm not going to ask you how much you earn, but I might ask you, like I ask on the show, if you had $100,000, how would you spend it? You know, what are your money values? I like to ask questions like that because why are we wasting time going on six states if our values don't align?
Starting point is 00:27:26 You know, let's just cut it off at one or two and cut our losses. Yes, I love that. And, I mean, even thinking about how they spend their money now, which you can ask in kind of roundabout ways, thinking, how do you spend your time now? Are you going out to bars all the time? Are you going out to parks, to museums? Where you spend your time is essentially where you're spending your money a lot of the time. So that can be another way to understand where people's money values lie. Absolutely. I think I asked the question once, which was like, if I looked at, I don't know, your shopping history,
Starting point is 00:27:57 what would be your most recurring expense? So what do you spend the most money on? What do you buy the most? And again, that gives me kind of insight into what their values are and how they like to spend. Yeah. And also how they respond to that question can be so telling as to whether they're going to be open and honest or are comfortable talking about money, which is hugely important to you. So important. And I'm not going to lie. I'm still a little uncomfortable talking about personal finances. When I say personal, not broadly, but personal finances with partners, because it's not something that I've historically done.
Starting point is 00:28:30 But I know it's a necessity and something that you should do. I know in my marriage, I had no idea how much my ex-husband was making. When you were married? Yes. Yeah. Is that maybe part of why he's your ex-husband now? Well, well, I definitely am trying to have a more transparent approach and present relationship. As awkward as it is, it's really important to have that conversation.
Starting point is 00:28:52 And the more you do it, like you say, Sean, the better the easier it becomes right. Yeah. Something else that stood out to me in our listener's question is the idea of avoiding building bad habits like going out all the time and overspending. Reading between the lines of what they wrote to us, it almost seems like they're already building a bad habit, maybe when they can't sustain by paying for all of these dates. And now before they get too deep into dating whoever or whomever,
Starting point is 00:29:17 however many people they're dating, now might be the time to really evaluate how much they're spending on a monthly basis. Is this really sustainable for their finances, along with the other goals they have, so that they don't get too deep down this road and six months along with dating someone, they're still paying for every single date. The nature of the date matters as well.
Starting point is 00:29:37 And something that I have found nosying around on social media is sometimes how you start can set an expectation for the person. So, for example, if you're dating someone who enjoys fine dining all the time and maybe you've been dating them for six months and set that expectation that you're going to go fine dining regularly and suddenly you're saying, hey, I need a budget or I have a financial goal to pivot to, that doesn't always sit well with the other person.
Starting point is 00:29:59 right? Because maybe that's how they feel loved. That's how they feel valued. And I think, again, that can show a misalignment, right? That maybe you're not aligned if you're not willing to go on a walking date or, hey, let's go to the gym or go exercise instead, even to stay home and do arts and crafts. Some of the best times I've ever had dating people is just sitting around the house watching a TV show together. That's how you really get to know someone. Can you binge watch a show in a weekend? Like, let's put on heated rivalry and watch every episode in a single day. And if I don't have an amazing, amazing time doing that with you, it's not going to work. Absolutely. Sean, what's the most sentimental and I guess cheapest date that you've been on? It has to be an early Valentine's Day date that Garrett and I had. And we typically haven't done a lot for Valentine's Day because we've kind of viewed it as like a straight person's holiday, no offense, because we show our love every day in our own way. But one of our first years dating, we just made a really nice meal at home. I got some scallops. We made some mashed potatoes and some green beans. It was like a simple, but beautifully done meal that was just for us. And you know how wild restaurants get on Valentine's Day. So to be able to have the solitude of our apartment and just hang out, be together, eat a really nice meal was one of the best times that we had together. And it also was so formative in our early dating life too. So I really look back so fondly on that. And then just this past Valentine's Day, since it was our first Valentine's Day since getting married, we actually recreated that meal. And it was so nice. Yeah. What about you, Elizabeth?
Starting point is 00:31:28 I have quite a few. I'm a sentimental girl. So I love just doing random things. It doesn't necessarily have to be going out spending money. But let me see. Two come to mind. One is very, very random. We went for a long walk in a park. And we played on the jungle gym. And then, well, it's kind of embarrassing, but it broke the ice, but my wig fell off. You're like swinging upside down. Your wig just balls right now. And it was like, oh, no. And then he was just so sweet about it, right? We just kept walking and held hands listen to music. So it was very simple, free and cheap. I'm a simple girl. I'm all about the conversation and the connection. I can do literally anything with you if I like you as a person. That doesn't
Starting point is 00:32:09 cost anything at all. I love that. I think our listener can consider a lot of these options and how they're dating people. It doesn't always have to be, again, chocolates and flowers and expensive meals. It's really the time spent together that is way more valuable than any amount of money you'll be spending on them. Yeah. And I want to say to the listeners, well, have a conversation with your partner if you haven't already about cheaper dates that you guys can do, assuming that your dates are not cheap. You know, this can be a chance to explore their interest. And maybe you learn about things that they like or hobbies that you can partake in. They're inexpensive that you guys can add to your date night rotation. Yeah. And for anyone listening, I would love
Starting point is 00:32:44 to hear your ideas for having cheaper or more creative dates. Leave us a comment on Spotify or YouTube or send us an email. We would love to hear them. And that's all we have for this episode. So listeners, in case you didn't know it, we are all in a big polyamorous relationship together. And we're kind of dating each other because we have this thing going on that. I can't even put words to. It's so beautiful. So we want to hear from you. Send us your questions. You can leave us a voicemail or text us on the nerd hotline at 901-730-6373. That's 901-730 nerd. You can also email us at podcast at nerdwollet.com or leave us to comment on Spotify or YouTube. And come have a cheap date with us next time.
Starting point is 00:33:24 We're going to be talking about leasing a car and whether it's a smart financial decision in today's market. Follow smart money on your favorite podcast app, that's Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and IHeartRadio, to automatically download new episodes. Here's our brief disclaimer. We are not your financial or investment advisors. This nerdy info is provided for general educational and entertainment purposes and may not apply to your specific circumstances. This episode was produced by Tess Vigland, Hillary Georgie, helped with editing. Nick Carysomey and Eve Krogeman, Helmar Audio, and video production, and a big thank you to NerdWallis editors for their help. And with that said, until next time, turn to the nerds.

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