NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast - How to Talk Finances Before Cohabitating, and Why Coffee and Tea Prices Are Surging

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

Before cohabiting, how do you talk about finances without conflict? Plus: the global forces pushing up your coffee and tea bill. Why are your daily coffee, tea, or matcha drinks costing more? What financial conversations should you have with your partner before signing a lease together? Hosts Sean Pyles and Elizabeth Ayoola explore rising beverage costs and relationship money talks to help you understand how tariffs, inflation, and personal values affect your wallet. Joined by NerdWallet’s Anna Helhoski and editor Rick VanderKnyff, they begin with a discussion of global coffee and tea markets, with tips and insights on why tariffs and climate change are raising prices, how supply chains are shifting to new exporters, and what consumers can do to get their caffeine fix. Then, Sean and Elizabeth discuss how couples can navigate money conversations with each other before moving in together. They cover key issues like how to split expenses proportionally, why you need a personal emergency fund, and the importance of discussing debt, income, and financial values openly. Together they highlight strategies for handling conflict, aligning goals, and deciding whether (and when) to combine finances, to help couples set themselves up for financial and relational success. Survey: One in 10 Americans Would Never Date Someone with Credit Card Debt https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/finance/data-undateable-debt  Want us to review your budget? Fill out this form — completely anonymously if you want — and we might feature your budget in a future segment! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScK53yAufsc4v5UpghhVfxtk2MoyooHzlSIRBnRxUPl3hKBig/viewform?usp=header In their conversation, the Nerds discuss: rising coffee prices, tea prices rising, matcha shortage, matcha prices, tariffs on coffee, tariffs on tea, tariffs on matcha, climate change and coffee, climate change and tea, coffee inflation, tea inflation, rising coffee costs, why is tea expensive, matcha demand social media, U.S. coffee imports, Japan matcha exports, cost of Starbucks coffee, cost of matcha latte, moving in with partner finances, how to talk about money with a partner, financial conversations before moving in, splitting bills with partner, joint account vs separate accounts, sharing income with partner, debt in relationships, credit scores and renting, financial goals with partner, emergency fund before moving in, combining finances with a partner, money conflicts in relationships, high earner relationships, household expenses split, and moving expenses budgeting. To send the Nerds your money questions, call or text the Nerd hotline at 901-730-6373 or email [e-mail]. Like what you hear? Please leave us a review and tell a friend. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you love free stuff, this message is for you. We're always looking for ways to improve the podcast, which is why, right now, we're giving out prizes for seven lucky winners who fill out our listener survey. It only takes a few minutes and you'll be entered to win some really cool prizes. One winner will get a pair of Sony ULT Wireless Noise Canceling Headphones. And six winners will get the Bagu Cloud Carry-on bag. And full disclosure, I have one of these bags, and it's one of my favorite travel bags. Just go to nerdwollet.com slash pod survey and complete the form by September.

15th for a chance to win. You can read the official rules from more details, which again can be found at nerdwollet.com slash pod survey. Thank you and good luck. Money conversations with romantic partners can be tricky. You don't want to judge. You want to be open and honest, but you also want to make sure you're getting the whole picture. So today, we're going to sit down and talk about how to talk about it, maybe with an increasingly expensive cup of coffee. Welcome to Nerd Wallet's Smart Money Podcast, where you send us your money questions and we answer them with the help of our genius nerds. I'm Sean Piles. And I'm Elizabeth Ayola.

Later this episode, Sean and I are going to talk about some good ways to communicate about money with a romantic partner. But first, our weekly money news roundup where we break down the latest in the world of finance to help you be smarter with your money. Our news colleague, Anna Hilhaski, is back, and we're talking about sky-high prices for a cup of Joe. Getting a caffeine buzz is starting to break the bank, right, Anna? Yeah, if you think your daily caffeine fix is expensive now, just wait for tariffs to kick in. So today I'm joined by my editor, Rick Van der Knaife, to talk about our favorite morning pick-me-ups. Rick, welcome back. Hey, thanks for having me.

Good to be back. So I take it that you are a coffee drinker. I am a coffee drinker. I will say I grew up at a time when kids did not drink coffee. I didn't start drinking until I was 30 working on a newspaper coffee desk. but yeah, I suddenly turned into a coffeeholic and have been ever since. How about you? I was a former coffee drinker, or should I say child coffee drinker?

Because every morning, starting when I was about seven or eight, I'd wake up super early and I'd have a cup of coffee with my dad where everybody else got up. But about 10 years later, my teeth and stomach were rotting out, so I had to stop. So then I switched over to tea, and I've been a long time tea drinker. But today we're going to talk a little bit about a very specific type. of tea, matcha, which is really popular if you're on social media. Well, we'll start with coffee because coffee is obviously the dominant drink that Americans drink.

Surveys say that about two-thirds of Americans drink coffee daily and an average of three cups a day, which is like it puts me dead center in the average. I can't drink past 11 a.m., so I do switch to tea, but that's where I start. And that's more than bottle water, soda, tea, juice, everything else, right? Yeah, well, if you believe the National Coffee Association survey, Yes. It's the biggest. Past all of those. And it's been pretty steady coffee is America's drink, basically. Coffee is getting more expensive, though. So what's driving that cost increase? Is it mostly inflation or is it something more specific to coffee? It's been rising faster than the baseline inflation rate. Roasted coffee, the kind that you pick up in a bag at the supermarket, is up almost 15% year over year. That's well over the sort of a 3% background rate.

A lot of that is coffee is a very specific kind of agricultural product. It doesn't grow everywhere, obviously, and it's being sort of really hit by climate change. Droughts in Brazil, which is the world's biggest producer of coffee, have a couple of really big droughts have really sort of knocked the industry sideways. Also, Vietnam, which grows the most robust coffee in the world. It's been hit by droughts. So it's a short-term problem. I mean, there have always been droughts and cycles, but the same.

seems like more of a prolonged impact from climate change. And the U.S. is importing almost all that it's coffee because U.S. producers can't really keep up with consumption, right? Yeah, basically. I mean, Kona coffee from Hawaii is kind of well-known, but really it's only a tiny amount is grown there these days. We grow some coffee in Puerto Rico, but combined, it's less than 1% of what America drink. So it's not really a product that we can sort of suddenly scale up.

We can't grow fields of coffee in Kansas or anything like that. Right. So there's not a real domestic coffee growing industry. And that means that President Trump's wave of tariffs are going to really affect coffee prices, right? Totally. I mean, yeah, some of them have been in place, obviously, since April to 10%. And that's sort of been further turbulence on top of just the background inflation and droughts and things like that. But as of early this month, some of those main coffee-producing countries, they went up.

And Brazil is the big one. We have a 50% tariff on everything coming out of Brazil. I think there was a lot of pressure and a lot of hope that there would be an exemption for coffee because obviously we're not trying to protect a domestic growing industry, but it didn't happen. And 50% is, from what I've spoken to producers and roasters, 50% is too much to absorb or pass along and everyone's scrambling to try to get alternate supplies. But Brazil grows something like a third of the world's coffee.

Basically, all coffee ends up in a cup somewhere. It's not like they're a huge surplus supplies. So it just, it's set off a mad scramble, basically. Anything else you want to add about coffee? We're seeing a lot of turmoil. Producers and roasters are really scrambling. The only major coffee producing country that does not have a tariff now is Mexico, because it's covered by a trade agreement.

But there's not that much coffee. And because demand for Mexican coffee is going up. It's going up anyway, even though there's not a tariff there. So it's a little bit of chaos right now. So I know some of those issues like climate change and supply issues are affecting macha, but it's a little bit, there are some wrinkles there too as well, right? There's different kinds of pressure on the tea industry, in particular, machas. So if you are on any kind of image-based social media,

macha's pretty much everywhere. It's a staple for fashion, wellness, lifestyle influencers, and the aspiring. I was at a cafe yesterday, and I'd say eight out of ten people I saw had a match in hand. It's fully steep now into American cafe culture. But I do want to be clear, if you think macha is new, you are many centuries too late. It hails from Japan and has long been used in tea ceremonies. That said, it's become a pretty big global trend and demand in recent years has spiked. And imagine a similar problem. Where is matcha grown now? Is it entirely in Japan? Are there other places that are providing those kinds of products? You can find matcha producers

in China, India, and even Kenya, but the overwhelming majority comes from Japan. So back in the early 2000s, only about 1% of Japanese tea production was exported, and by the end of 2023, it was roughly 10%. And demand in the U.S. is driving a lot of that growth. So in 2024, Japan's green tea exports went up 25% compared to the previous year.

That's pretty significant. And that's hitting a record $244 million. half of that, about 4,400 metric tons, was matcha. I imagine tariffs are a factor in the matcha world as well. Yeah, they're hitting matcha and just generally tea pretty hard. So Japan, the main supplier, faces a 15% tariff. China's at 30% and as you mentioned, India is at 50%. So if you're thinking that that means higher prices for your or my daily matcha fix,

then you're right. And the thing is, it's not just matcha. Because mancha is just a tiny slice of the U.S. tea market. So what's a matcha drinker to do? I imagine it's not really a home drink so much. Do people make it at home? Is it really a thing that people have in cafes? I definitely do drink it at home.

I think I pay usually like $30 for a tin. But you don't need a lot. It's like about a teaspoon just to like make a cup of it. Or more if you just need something a little bit stronger. But I would say that the price varies a lot. So at Starbucks, a grande ice match a lot. At my shop in Brooklyn costs $6.80, which is a lot higher than some of my colleagues who checked their prices. So one colleague in Ann Arbor, Michigan said that she paid $5.25.

And then in Seattle, it's about $6. So if you're buying powder for use at home, it'll be cheaper overall. That's a lot like if you're making your own coffee at home, it's going to be a lot cheaper overall. So yeah, once you're adding tariffs to the mix, it's just going to be more expensive. same deal here. The U.S. can't grow tea at the scale that's needed to meet U.S. demand, period. Tea farms in the U.S. supply about 0.02% of what Americans consume. So tariffs are going to be impossible to avoid when it comes to tea. All right. Thanks so much for joining me, Rick.

Thank you. Thank you, Anna, for coming on and Rick and educating us about macha. I am not a coffee drinker. Are you, Sean? I am a helplessly addicted coffee drinker, although I might have to switch to mushroom coffee of things keep going the way it seems they're going to. I know. The prices are going up. Yep. Well, up next, we answer a listener's question about the best way to talk with a romantic partner about money ahead of moving in together. But before we get into that,

a reminder, listener, to send us your money questions. Maybe you're wondering how you can actually cut costs on groceries when everything is getting more expensive, especially coffee and tea, or you see the holidays around the corner and want to know the best way to save some money. Leave us a voicemail or text us on the nerd hotline at 901-730-6373. That's 901. 730 nerd, or email us at podcast at nerdwallet.com. In a moment, this episode's money question, stay with us. Are you looking for ways to make your everyday life happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Rubin, the number one bestselling author of the Happiness Project, bringing you fresh insights and practical solutions in the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast.

My co-host and Happiness Guinea Pig is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. That's me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore ideas and hacks about cultivating happiness and good habits. Check out Happier with Gretchen Rubin from Lemonada Media. We're back and answering your money questions to help you make smarter financial decisions. This episode's question comes from a listener's text message. Here it is. What financial matters slash questions should you consider and discuss with your significant other before you move in with one another?

This episode, Sean and I are taking on this listener. question all on our own. So let's get into it. Elizabeth, this is one of my favorite financial topics because there is no right way to do it yet so many people love to be really prescriptive with like, you have to do X, Y, Z thing before you move in with your partner or you like establish your life together. And that's just not the case. But there are certain things that you should talk about before you enmesh your lives financially or otherwise. One thing that I think people should do at the very beginning is just kind of set the tone for these conversations. conversations that people have because it can be really easy to spiral into a fight or feel really anxious or not be on the same page about what you're trying to accomplish in these kinds of conversations. Have you ever had similar talks with spouses or partners or, I don't know, maybe even like your son about money because you're living together?

I know, right? We talk about money all the time. But the conversation usually goes like, can I have X, Y, Z? I know you got money for it. So sometimes a spouse is doing the same thing. I didn't think about that. It's a good point. No, but I have been married before, and I will admit, then I was not very financially savvy. And honestly, I had a lot of shame around talking about money. I never saw my parents growing up. It felt like a very sensitive topic. So we actually didn't talk much about money before we moved in together. Those money talks happened maybe a year or more into the marriage, which made things very, very complicated. When you had some messes to clean up, maybe? Yes. And when I realized we have very different money. money values, right? He was more of a spender. I was more of a saver. We didn't really have any financial goals together. So we did get to a point where it was like, hey, maybe we should have some joint financial goals. So let's open a pejoin account and put in a certain amount every month. I've had similar experiences. I mean, I lived with Garrett now for eight years or so,

and we moved in together basically out of necessity. We were living in San Francisco. We both lost our housing at the same time. And we knew that money was going to be tight, but we didn't fully lay out like our budgets and what we could really afford. We just said we need to live in a place right now. So let's just dive into it. And then over the course of the past several years, we figured out how to manage our money together. But what I want to talk about is maybe like the platonic ideal of how you can have these conversations because I think our listener is doing the right thing by saying, hey, what can you talk about before you move in? So I think there are just these a number of categories. But again, you do want to have that right mindset

that at the very beginning of these conversations. So when you're talking with your partner, I think it'd be really helpful to just be curious about what their finances are like and don't judge them for it. Maybe set an intention at the start of the conversation thinking, okay, my shared intention with you, partner, is to have an open and candid conversation about our finances because I care about you and I want us to succeed financially

and in our life together as we move into this next step. And if that sounds like super awkward and not like how people talk at all, that's because it kind of is. But some of this is going to be awkward because you're building up this muscle, this new kind of joint muscle in this relationship with talking about money. Because day to day, it's so easy to just ignore this big aspect of our lives when you're having a really fun relationship with someone. You don't want to bog it down with this heavy, tense, loaded stuff like money. So it sounds like, Sean, you're saying maybe a first step or one step would be to set the right tone from the onset about. what kind of conversations you want to have about money and that you want to have one at all. Yeah. And I think it can be helpful to timebox this conversation, at least at the beginning,

say, hey, we're going to go on a little 30-minute walk around the neighborhood. We're going to go grab a cup of coffee. We'll talk about these things there on the street. And that can be nice, too, because you're not making direct eye contact with them as you're walking. That way, it's less like we are having this intense, focus conversation, staring at each other. You're just going down the road together, which is kind of a nice metaphor for your relationship if you think about it. So just focus it and then say, hey, by the time we get home from grabbing this coffee, we'll be done talking about our money for today. And maybe we'll revisit another aspect of our finances in a few days or next week. It doesn't have to be everything covered all at once, this huge

massive conversation. You want it to be an ongoing dialogue. I really love that you said that because I think for some people, especially who think very, maybe chronologically, it's like, well, do I have to have this checkbox of things that I ask all in one conversation and take them off one at a time. But like you said, it's probably more of an ongoing thing. All right. So, Sean, I think it would be a good idea for us to list out for the listeners. Some maybe overarching themes that they should talk about during these money conversations. And I'm going to go first. I think this may be the hardest thing, but I think you guys, you got to talk about income. I know, I know you got to talk about income. Of course. One of the things you might want to ask your partner is how much

they make compared to you. And it's such an interesting topic for me because I know so many people who still don't know how much their partner makes. They're married and they don't know how much their partner makes. They don't know. And maybe they're scared to ask. So, Sean, what do you think about that? Like, how did your conversation with Garrett go about income? Well, we just had to be candid about it once we did finally get an apartment to rent. I think we talked about it actually after we had signed our lease. But we realized, okay, our incomes at that point, pretty similar, so we were able to just manage what our rent was. But your note around how some people are married and they still haven't talked about it makes me think about how the longer

you wait to talk about these things, the harder it can be to talk about them because it bubbles up and it becomes this source of secrecy. But I think starting with your income is crucial because that is how you can understand how you want to divide your household expenses. A lot of couples want to do 50-50 because that seems fair, but in fact, it's really not. So you have one person and their relationship who's making $150,000. The other one's making like $75,000. Does the person who's making half as much as the other really need to be covering 50% of the expenses? That's just not right because then that person who's making less won't be able to save. And the other person who's making more is just like sitting pretty and not spending as much as their income

on all of these expenses. So generally, knowing what you're bringing into the household can make you have an easier proportional way to split up your income. But beyond just what people are bringing in. You want to understand how stable their income is. Maybe you have someone who's working in like a creative industry and they aren't bringing in money on a regular basis like someone with a nine to five job. That can help you try to plan where your money is going to be going and how you want to cover these expenses. And I think sometimes the nervousness around talking about income comes in because maybe you're not aligned on what your money values are. So I have heard some people maybe say they're nervous about sharing their income because then maybe their partner will

realize that they earn significantly more and have an expectation that they should pay more the bills, but maybe they don't want to. So I think that boils down to what are your money values? How do you want to live and how do you want to divide the finances? So if you're feeling a little nervous, maybe you can preface the conversation with a talk about what your values around money are and your expectations. And thinking about gender dynamics here, I'm fortunate enough with my partner where like we're both guys and there isn't the expectation that one of us has to be the breadwinner here. But I've heard from a lot of my girls. friends that have said, hey, I'm making more than my male partner, and it makes them really

uncomfortable. And they don't want to make their male spouse feel like emasculated because they're earning more than them. But that's just the reality of the situation. And I don't know, have you ever experienced that in your relationship to Elizabeth? I have, unfortunately. I have. And it's not a good feeling because you're just living your best life and trying to earn a decent wage. And your partner becomes your op as the youngsters say or you know your opponent in that sense and you're supposed to be on the same team so it is uncomfortable and it sucks that you feel like you have to shrink yourself or hide your income because you don't want your partner to be uncomfortable so what did you do well we're not together anymore but maybe enough said enough said yeah so our values

were just not aligned in that way but i just want to put it out there women if you are a high earner and you have worked hard for that high income, it's not something that you should be ashamed of or hiding. So if you have a partner who is making you shrink or making you feel small because you earn more, then I think you might have bigger issues than, you know, moving in together and splitting finances. Yeah, and moving in together is a time where it can be a make or break for your relationship because you are seeing their values. You're seeing how you can navigate difficult situations. And if someone isn't supporting you, if they're not thrilled that you're bringing in a bunch of money, then maybe you don't want to sign that lease and maybe you want to get out of there.

That brings me to another thing I wanted to talk about, which is savings, because we talk a lot about how it's important to have enough money to cover, like, a few months of expenses. This is especially important when you're moving in with someone for the very first time, and you actually don't really know if you're going to be staying with them over the long term. So at the bare minimum, each of you should have enough to cover one month's worth of rent. But individually, you should each have your own FU fund, so you can just get out of the house in situation if you really need to. Ideally, that would be enough to cover a security deposit and a month's rent at another place. I realize that's a lot of money. But even a few hundred

bucks just to cover a hotel room can get you out of a pinch if you need to and just figure out what your next steps are going to be. Yeah, I couldn't emphasize that enough because I know quite a few people in my real life who are stuck in situations. They don't want to be in living situations because they don't have enough to move out. And again, I know it's not necessarily easy to save up that F you fund, but I think it can be worthwhile because you just never know what direction the relationship's going to go in. At the end of the day, you have to look out for yourself first and foremost. Yep. Another thing folks should talk about is debt and how much debt you're bringing into the relationship. This is where things can get really tense because there is a lot of

judgment and shame around debt. And a nerd wallet survey conducted by the Harris poll earlier this year found that 10% of respondents would never date someone with credit card debt at all. But then another 40% said that no amount of credit card debt would be a deal breaker in a relationship. What are your thoughts on debt in relationships and talking about it, Elizabeth? Ha-ha. It's so funny because I was talking to my partner the other day about that very topic. But for me, hmm, do I really have a hard thought on it? Well, okay, so it depends on the amount of debt.

I'm not going to lie. And it also depends on the status of our relationship. So if we are going to be getting married, that means we're going to be working as a team. So your debt is kind of going to become my debt. And we'd have to work on a strategy to pay it down together. If we're just dating, well, then that's your debt, you know? So what is your plan before we decide to get married if we do on paying down the debt? So also, I think an important thing more important than the debt is do you have a strategy to pay it down?

Are you accumulating more debt? What are your spending habits, right? Why do you have this debt? And if it's because maybe you, at a time, we're just impulse spending all the time. I'm not here to shame you, but have you gotten a hold on the impulse spending? or is that something I'm going to have to worry about in the future? I think that's fair because it comes down to the type of debt that the person has how and why they acquired it. If someone was out of a job and they needed to use a credit card to just bridge the gap,

okay, that's understandable. But if they're buying like Labuboos every day and they have $100,000 in credit card debt from random crap, that's a little more problematic. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, so you summarize it, thanks. So why? And then what kind of debt is it matters to me? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, my partner and I both came into the relationship with plans. plenty of student loans. And we've each had credit card debt at various times in our lives because of covering expenses. So it comes down to, again, what type and how much and why? And then when are you getting out of the debt? Because you don't want to be in debt forever. Exactly. And obviously, debt impacts your cash flow. If we're going to be living together, then how much can you contribute? And for how long can you not contribute a lot if that's the case. So another thing that folks should talk about before moving in together is credit, because that can actually limit their ability to even qualify for an apartment. So pull those credit reports, talk about it openly,

see if they have negative marks on their credit report. Maybe there are negative marks that might be a big red flag for you, like if they aren't good at paying their bills. What's that going to mean for when you are legally obligated to be paying for this lease and they might just drop out? That should really concern you because, again, you're kind of a creditor to your spouse when you are co-signing on a lease with them because you are just on the hook for this. debt as they are. And the more we're talking about this, Sean, I know these conversations can be uncomfortable, but I think it's a great way to really see where your partner's headspace is and also how you can work together as a team, because nothing is going to make you have to do more teamwork

than finances, right? So you get to see that side of your partner as well. And now I'm going to move on to something I think is important too, which is logistics of moving into an apartment, because I hate moving into an apartment. Moving expenses are a big expense. You also have the security deposit, which is insane these days. Sometimes you also have to think about furniture. I spent so much on furniture when I was moving in, and if that's going to be the case for you all, how are you guys going to split those costs?

Yeah, it's not just the moving truck. It's also, once you're settled in, you're going to be getting more takeout and your budget is going to be kind of out of whack for a little while. Because, again, going back to your income, that being kind of the first thing you really want to establish, it will probably make sense for you to cover proportionally based on how much you have coming in.

Absolutely. And speaking of which, ongoing living expenses, yes, all the bills that we hate, the light bill, the water bill, the trash bill, whatever you got. So you guys have to think about how you're going to split those bills. Is one person going to cover it with their income? Are you going to take on each bill? Also, are you going to pay it directly? Or are you going to pull money in account to pay all the utilities? Those are things that y'all want to think about. Yeah. When you were living with U.R.X, did you guys have a joint account or how did you manage that, Elizabeth? actually we did not open a joint account until later on in the marriage and it was really for goals not bills so we just kind of split so he would pay some bills i would pay some bills and yeah

there was literally no transparency into how much money each person had we just would pay the bills it needs to be paid doesn't sound great no no it was not so if i had a do over i would not do it that way yeah um i've been in a similar situation before over time because it's there's been a lot of trial an error with Garrett and me. At this point, I make a little more than Garrett, so I tend to cover things like the groceries each month, and then he'll cover, like, the water bill. And so we do split it up sort of piecemeal based on different bills, but also, again, proportionally dependent upon our income. So there's no one right way to do it. You might want to have a joint account. Garrett and I don't have a joint account. We are thinking about maybe doing one once we

finally get married later this year. But at the same time, our money has been flowing just fine for ourselves and we're actually okay keeping things separate for the most part because we do have these ongoing conversations where we know roughly what's happening with our finances. And like if it ain't broke, don't fix it. And as you're saying that, it makes me remember as well, what you guys talk about initially in terms of finances may look completely different a year down the line. So your plan doesn't have to be set in stone. You may find that having a joint account works for you or it doesn't or splitting the utilities a certain way works for you or it doesn't. It's okay to reconvene, have another conversation and try something different that might work better for you

long. Exactly. And that's why having this muscle, this reflex of just talking about finances when something comes up and having that be an established part of how you communicate with your partner is so crucial because things are going to change. One person might suddenly be the breadwinner or the other person might suddenly be out of work. And if you were totally dependent on that one person who's no longer working to cover all of the groceries or be the household financial manager and they can't do that anymore, you need to know how you can step in and pick up the slack a little bit. So picking up the slack makes me think about conflict, how to handle conflict. And I think with money, sometimes conflict does come up. Have you and Garrett, not to get all up in your

business, but has there been like a point of conflict or recurring theme in terms of an argument around money that you guys have? I think a little bit in terms of role. I am a person who kind of can't help but give people financial advice, shocker. So sometimes when I'm talking with Garrett and I'm like, oh, like, how much are you saving in your retirement account? Oh, no. You could actually put a little bit more in there based on your income and your age. Like, you might want to put this amount away. And he's like, well, everything's really expensive right now. So that would be great, but I just can't do that at the moment. And similarly, I have a habit of just spending on fabulous things that I love and maybe not checking in with Garrett about whether he is like totally on board for like this vacation. And so I've had to get better

about making sure that I do have that buy-in and that if I'm going to try to pay for something and I want his help, making sure that he can actually pay for it too. It sounds like also what you're saying, Sean, or what I'm getting from what you just said, is that having goals can be really important even when it comes to conflict. Because if you can't agree on something, if you have a shared goal, for example, this month I want to go to Disney World, but you say, no, we need to save more. Well, what is our goal? You know, maybe we want us to save X amount this year, so maybe I will have to sacrifice

and compromise and not have what I want so that we can achieve our goal quicker. Yeah. So how, I mean, you're a very values and goals-oriented person. I think those two things feed into each other. How do you think about this when you talk with the person that you're dating? How have you done this in the past? What have you found to be helpful? Well, in the past, my ex and I had very different spending habits, like I said. So he was a more live in the moment, you know, buy what I want kind of person. And I was a little bit more like, hey, we should save and have a goal. But honestly, we didn't have any goals together. So that made it a little. little bit, you know, difficult. And something that I found interesting is that I had so much fear

around combining finances, too, because we had such different money values. And I think it requires a certain level of trust to combine your finances with someone else. If people are going to move in together, that is a huge thing to think about. Do you want to combine finances? And if you do, what is that going to look like? I think unless you're married or getting close to married, I would be a little wary of combining finances too much because you might need to extract yourself from a situation. And if you have joint ownership over an account and things get testy, guess what? They could just deplete all of the money from that account and go. So hold on to your money, be safe with it. And then maybe once you're more financially and like lifewise dependent upon

each other, think about having that joint account, but don't rush into it. Okay, well, listener, I hope this helped you and your partner figure out how you can navigate this new chapter in your life together. If other folks have thoughts about how to manage their finances with their spouse as they're moving in together or just living together day to day, let us know. And that's all we have for this episode. Remember listener that we're here to answer your money questions. So turn to the nerds and call or text us your questions at 901 730, 63.73. That's 901 730 nerd. You can also email us at podcast at nerdwollet.com. We want you to remember to take our listener survey to be entered to win some awesome.

some prizes. And if you want to submit your budget for us to potentially review on a future episode, bill out the form linked in the show description. It would make Sean and I really happy, right, Sean? That's right. All right. Follow smart money on your favorite podcast app, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and IHeartRadio to automatically download my episodes. Here's our brief disclaimer. We are not your financial or investment advisors. This nerdy info is provided for general educational and entertainment purposes and may not apply to your specific circumstances. This episode was produced by Tess Bigland and Anahel Hoski, Hillary Georgie helped with editing, Nick Carissomy, mixed our audio, and a big thank you to Nerd Wallet's editors for all their help.

And with that said, until next time, turn to the nerds.