NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast - Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)

Episode Date: May 5, 2025

Learn smart ways to budget for your wedding and how to navigate tipping expectations without overspending. What money lessons did you learn from your mom? How can you budget for a wedding without overspending — especially when your family is helping with costs? Sean and Elizabeth discuss the financial values we inherit and the realities of modern wedding planning to help you reflect on your own money habits and make smart spending decisions. They begin with a discussion about the money lessons they learned from their mothers, including the importance of saving consistently, using money to support joy and values, and balancing financial security with family priorities. Then, Lauren Kay, executive editor at The Knot, joins Sean and Elizabeth to answer listener Colleen’s questions about budgeting for her upcoming wedding. They explore how to prioritize spending when you're working with a fixed contribution from family, how to approach tipping vendors — especially when they own their own businesses — and which costs can easily catch you off guard. Whether you're in the middle of planning or just curious about the financial side of weddings, this conversation is packed with real talk and actionable insights. Download the free NerdWallet app to get help with your budgeting: https://click.nerdwallet.com/3687710914/smpc  In their conversation, the Nerds discuss: wedding budget tips, how to budget for a wedding, wedding tipping guide, who to tip at a wedding, how much to tip wedding vendors, budgeting for wedding expenses, saving for a wedding, splitting wedding costs with parents, tipping wedding vendors who own a business, cost-effective wedding planning, prioritizing wedding spending, how to stay under wedding budget, budgeting for a honeymoon, wedding spreadsheet tips, wedding transportation etiquette, managing family wedding contributions, early retirement inspiration, financial values from parents, learning about money from mom, budgeting lessons from childhood, saving and spending balance, how to use money to bring joy, wedding cost in urban areas, budgeting for a reception, how to cut wedding costs, tips for affordable weddings, tipping musicians at weddings, wedding vendor contracts, tipping etiquette weddings, wedding planning checklists, and wedding planning tools from The Knot. To send the Nerds your money questions, call or text the Nerd hotline at 901-730-6373 or email [e-mail]. Like what you hear? Please leave us a review and tell a friend.

Sean, can I be a little soppy? Elizabeth, you say soppy, I say sappy. Either way, we're both crying. So let's do it. Thank you, because I was going to be soppy regardless. So Mother's Day is around the corner, and I get so emotional thinking about all the values that my mom instilled in me and all the values that I get to instill in my son. Mother's Day also had me mulling on the money lessons that I learned over the years watching my mom.

I feel that my mom and I are really close and I feel so grateful for all the lessons that she's taught me over the years, financially and otherwise. Welcome to NerdWallet Smart Money Podcast where you send us your money questions and we answer them with the help of our genius nerds. I'm Elizabeth Ayola.

And I'm Sean Piles. This episode, we're chatting with a listener about budgeting for a wedding, including who you should tip and how much. But before that, let's talk about lessons we learned from our moms when it comes to money. Sean, was your mom open with you about her finances growing up? Yes and no.

She taught me the importance of being frugal and how to be creative when money was tight. But I didn't have a deep understanding of our household finances, which is probably a good thing. My mom didn't tell me much about her personal finances, but she did tell me about the cost of her bills often, with an emphasis on how expensive things were, of course. And she'd add somewhere, that's why you have to work hard.

Yeah, absolutely. I was often told that if I didn't finish my food, I was just throwing money away. And that's something that I still hear in my brain every time I don't finish my plate. It sounds like we had the same childhood, Sean. Yeah. All right, so let the same childhood, Sean. Yeah. All right.

So let's take a trip down memory lane. What would you say is the earliest money related lesson that you learned from your mom? I feel like we're in therapy here, Elizabeth. Well, my mom was one to let me learn my own lessons with some gentle guidance. And one that comes to mind is around my allowance. My sisters and I had the split up household chores to earn our allowances and how we chose to spend them was up to us. I remember one week when I was really young, I spent all of my allowance on gumballs. I know it might sound kind of weird, but there was this specific type of gumball that I was really into.

My mom asked me if I was certain that's how I wanted to spend all the money I had earned doing my chores, and I said 100% I want these gumballs. Well, the next day, when I was at the store and I saw whatever Pokemon toy caught my eye and I couldn't afford it, that was on me and my mom said, hey, if you hadn't spent all your money on that candy, maybe you could have saved up and purchased this next week with next week's allowance as well. And that is how I learned to save up for things I wanted. What about you, Elizabeth? That is such a good lesson. I think the one that stands out for me is that sometimes creating financial

security requires sacrifice. So I grew up with an immigrant mother who left Nigeria in her teenage years to start a new life in the UK. She left around the age of 16, so she would go back and forth between the UK and Nigeria over the years, but eventually she settled in London and by this time she had six kids and she was the breadwinner. My dad was more focused on pastoring. Yes, I'm a pastor's kid. Well, she had to separate my siblings and I for a while and put us with nannies so that she could work and create financial stability for our family.

And then I'm so proud of her because within a few years and with lots of hard work, she was able to buy a home for us to live in and we all were able to live together again, but she did have to sacrifice most of her time and also her family being under one roof in order to get there. Wow. That is an incredible story. I'm really impressed by all that your mom had to do to manage you kids. I mean, I can barely manage a household with a cat and a dog and a gecko.

I can't imagine having six kids. Another financial lesson that I learned from my mom is that you should save, but you should also use your money to do things that bring you joy. Now I don't know how she did it, but my mom paid for me and my two sisters to go all the way from London to America on vacation to Disney World every year. And that was before we finally moved to Florida when I was around seven. So we would stay at the Disney Resort for a week or so. Aside from that, she also invested in good quality clothing items, bed sheets,

and food for herself because it made her happy. So that was another way that I connected that, you know, money is not just for paying bills, but it's also for things that bring you joy as well. But that said, my mom was also a broken record when it came to savings. So she would always talk about how important it was to save some of your money and not spend it all. Sean, can you relate with this at all?

Did you pick up any similar money values from your mom? Yeah, 100%. I mean, I, learning from examples, saw that it's worth investing money in hobbies and interests that enrich your life. My mom's two big interests growing up were going to Grateful Dead shows and doing triathlons. And they might seem like really disparate interests,

but you know, life is all about balance. So even as my mom was raising us kids, she would make sure to find time to pursue her own interests. And sure, there were certainly times that I did not want to go to yet another triathlon. I remember one time growing up, the sixth Harry Potter book was coming out and I had a copy reserved at our local bookstore, but I had to go all the way on a road trip up to Minnesota from Illinois where I grew up and I couldn't get my copy and let me tell you, I was not a happy camper that day, but I had to go all the way on a road trip up to Minnesota from Illinois where I grew up and I couldn't get my copy. And let me tell you, I was not a happy camper

that day. But looking back now, I'm really glad I got to see my mom do all these amazing athletic feats and show us that if you set your mind to something, you can accomplish whatever you want, even if that is seeing where 1000th Gravel Dead concert. I love how dynamic your mom is, Sean. So for me, there is one money lesson that came to me later in life that I indirectly learned from my mom, and that's actually planning for retirement. My mom never gave me any education about retirement savings, but I do remember her retiring early when I was in my early 30s.

She was able to live off of her savings until her pensions kicked in, which obviously took discipline, consistent saving, and also careful planning to achieve that. But it's not until now that I learned more about personal finances and started to think about my own retirement that it registered to me what she had to do in order to retire early. And as I'm talking about this, I realized that I'm subconsciously inspired by my mom, as early retirement is a goal of mine too. Did you learn much about budgeting by watching your mom with money, Sean?

You know, I don't know if I was really aware of the household budget growing up, but there were certainly times where money was tight and we had to find ways to cut costs. My mom was really big into couponing when I was young, and we were regulars at JCPenney to pick up clothes for the school year. I also remember there was one school year where I kept losing my jackets. I have no idea where they went. I was probably leaving them on the playground, I guess. But after my third or so jacket that I lost, my mom said that if I lost another one, I would not be getting a replacement jacket.

And that certainly taught me to be a little more careful, my belongings. LESLIE KENDRICK And you have also just taught me a new parenting hack because I'm tired of myself losing his jackets too. The threat of repercussions. The final lesson that I'm going to share that has really shaped the way that I approach making money is that having money is good, but it isn't everything. I remember during my late teens and early twenties, I watched my mom work sometimes seven days a week because she was saving so aggressively to fund building her house in Nigeria

and also to fund early retirement. Yeah, money isn't everything was a common refrain in my house too. You know, we had each other and that was a lot more valuable than anything else. And there were certainly times where my mom picked up extra work so that we could all get by. And yeah, that meant less time together, but it enabled so much more in our lives too. That's such a beautiful value to learn, Sean, because you can't get those years back. All right, Sean, so if you had to tee up the money lessons you learned from your mom in one sentence, what would it be? I would say keep your money under control and don't let it

control you. So what's yours, Elizabeth? I would say my sentence would be, decide the type of life that you want, figure out how money will help you get there, and then execute your plan without self-sacrificing. That is a robust sentence, I like that. Thank you. So Elizabeth, you are a mom. We would be remiss if we didn't talk a little bit

about any lessons that you're planning to share with your son. Well, I am a lot more transparent about finances with my son. He has a piggy bank. I tell him how much things cost. I give him opportunities to earn money. I talk to him about saving and try to foster an abundance mindset in him. Honestly, I just hope it all sticks at the end of the day.

But ultimately, I just want to pass on the lesson to him. Honestly, I just hope it all sticks at the end of the day, but ultimately I just wanna pass on the lesson to him. I would say the core lesson would be to work hard in moderation and also to understand what his values are around money because I think that would drive everything ultimately. But at the end of the day, I hope he's as proud of me as I am of my mom for the financial stability she created for us and herself. I'm sure he will be.

That's so sweet, Elizabeth. Thank you. Well, listeners, we would love for you to join us in this soppy, sappy conversation. As in, we want to hear what lessons you learned from your moms. Leave us a voicemail or text us on the nerd hotline at 901-730-6373 or email us at podcastatnerdwallet.com, and we might just share your note on a future episode. We're about to get to this episode's money question about budgeting for a wedding.

But before we get into that, listener, I've got a question for you. What is your money question? What's that financial thing that keeps you up at night or that goal you just can't seem to make progress on? Maybe you're not sure whether you're on track for retirement, or you're wondering how to adjust your budget to potential tariff increases. Or you want to know whether now is a good time to buy a new car. Whatever your prefer email, pop us an email at podcast at nerdwallet.com. And a reminder that one of our goals on

Smart Money this year is to talk with more of you live on the podcast to help you with your money questions. So if you want to hang with Elizabeth and me for a little bit and get some nerdy wisdom, let us know. One more time, leave us a voicemail or text us on the Nerd Hotline at 901-730-6373. That's 901-730-NERD. Or email us at podcastatnerdwallet.com. Let's get to this episode's Money Questions segment. That's up next. Stay with us.

We're back and answering your money questions to help you make smarter financial decisions. This episode, we're joined by Colleen, a listener from California with some questions about wedding planning, particularly how to manage tipping all of the people you have to pay when you're getting married. Colleen, welcome to Smart Money. Thank you so much, Sean. I'm excited to be here. So I've talked before on Smart Money about how I am in the middle of planning my own wedding, and I have some questions of my own around the financial side of wedding planning. And while I may be a certified financial planner professional, I am not a certified wedding planner professional. So to help us answer your questions, Colleen, and some of my own, we are joined by Lauren Kay,

executive editor at The Knot. Hey, Lauren, welcome to Smart Money. Oh, so glad to be here. I'm hoping I have answers to all your questions. Well, I am thrilled because I have a lot of them. But Colleen, first, I want to start by hearing a little bit about you. Can you just tell us about yourself,

like what you do for work and maybe how you and your fiance met and eventually got engaged? So I work for a university out here in L.A. I've been here for about two years before that. I was working in entertainment, but I made the switch to academics two years ago for a little more work life balance. And it's been incredible. My fiance and I met three and a half ish years ago for a little more work-life balance and it's been incredible. My fiance and I met

three and a half-ish years ago. A typical dating app story. I mean, not on thumb bowl. And I just knew he was special from the first date. So. Jared Sarkissian Oh, that's so sweet. Got to love romance in 2025. I also met my partner on an app many years ago. So tell us about the plan for your wedding. What's the day going to be like? We are a little more complicated than like a lot of our friends because we're getting married. Our ceremony is in a church and then our reception is in a restaurant up the road, like 20 minute drive away. So we'll have our family in town for it. I'm from Texas, he's from Maryland. So a lot of our wedding is flying in.

It's gonna be a pretty big family event, but like all of our friends are in LA. And our life is in LA, where we met in LA. And either way, a lot of the people are gonna have to travel no matter where we had it. So we decided to have our wedding where we met in LA and either way that a lot of the people are gonna have to travel no matter where we had it. So we decided to have our wedding where we live. Yeah, what's your headcount? What we think we'll end up with is about 150.

Let's talk a little bit about your wedding planning experience so far. What's been easy? What's been kind of challenging for you? So we got engaged in August September isish last year. He proposed to me on our trip to Japan, the top of Mount Fuji. So romantic. At sunrise. It was great. Maybe we waited two weeks after we got engaged before we started planning, but it definitely

happened a lot faster. When's your wedding date? September 12th. So is that a little less than a year from your engagement? Yeah, it's well, no, it's a little more than a year from our engagement, but a little less than a year from when we started planning. Lauren, I'd like to hear your thoughts

on Colleen's story so far. Does this seem typical, just this sort of rush to make a wedding come together however you can? So yeah, I think it is definitely a common thing we see. It's just competitive in terms of time of year people want to get married. Certain venues are more popular than others. And the same goes for pros. A lot of couples will say, no, I have to have this photographer.

I have to have this venue. And so then you're really kind of playing this game against dates and timing and just do all the stars aligned to pull off this dream wedding. So it definitely is something we hear more often. I think people are really deliberate with their choices. They are looking to give their guests great experience. And so every reservation, every choice, every guest on the list requires just a lot of thought and input and it is a little bit of that stars aligning

for that perfect day. I proposed to my partner in March 2020. I had these plans before the pandemic came together. And of course, the pandemic threw a wrench into any plans that we had even thought to consider. And before we know it, we've been engaged for five years at this point. So a few years into our engagement, we realized, look, we're going to be together for the rest of our lives. We already are committed to each other emotionally. So let's just wait until our 10 year anniversary.

And that's coming up in this fall, in October, November. Now we're finally at the point where we are planning the wedding, but we're running into all sorts of budgeting constraints because we don't want to spend a ton of money on our wedding. And budgeting for that has been a challenge. I'll say that this is not a paid advertisement, but the Knott's tools have been really helpful for that for mapping out all of my different

wedding expenses. But Colleen, I'd like to hear how you have approached budgeting for your wedding. What have you been willing to splurge on? Where are you trying to cut costs? We are very fortunate. We have parental help from both sides. So we very quickly created the Google spreadsheet of tracking here's how much we're receiving. And we started with our fixed costs. Since we're getting married in a church, that's not a negotiable price.

And I'm not willing to negotiate on not getting married in a church. So we knew that was gonna cost X X amount and then there's an efficient fee and there's a premarital counseling fee as well. And then we looked at what was left, which luckily those things are not very big, but the venue was our first biggest cost. We wanted a place that had a lot of the chairs and tables and linens and glasses. And so we didn't have to individually price out all of that. So we found a place that does this whole package and that was a huge part of our budget.

So then from there, we've been trying to calculate, well, what do we have left? And figuring out what my non-negotiables are and his non-negotiables, like I'm okay without a videographer, but my fiance is not. And so we had to bake that in and the way that we managed that was by getting someone who was both our photographer and videographer and did a Black Friday deal in November. So we booked it really early because we wanted to get the best deal possible money-wise so that we could keep putting the rest towards everything else. I am fully planning on using Costco sheet cake. It tastes good. I it's affordable. Well I'm gluten-free

so I will have to have a small gluten-free cake just for you know the cutting and me and my groom eating, but everybody else, I think will like Costco and Costco does flowers and we're trying to be as economical as possible because we are fortunate to have help and we're trying our best not to go past what they're offering because then we have to pay for whatever we go over. And I recognize that's a reality for a lot of people, but we're trying to also save for a lot of other things, not just our wedding. Yeah, those are some great budgeting ideas.

And I do want to throw in that my marketing team at NerdWallet would not forgive me if I didn't mention that NerdWallet has a budgeting app that can also help you with all of these things, and it's completely free. We'll include a link to download the NerdWallet app in today's show notes. But I want to hear a little more about something

that's been tripping you up in your budgeting, Colleen, which is tipping. So tell us about that. And then Lauren, I'd love to hear your thoughts on Colleen's situation. The way that I was raised was with the understanding of if someone owns their own business, they set their prices,

and that's what they've agreed to work for, so you don't tip. But if someone is an employee of a company, then someone else has set the prices and you tip them. So what I'm finding a lot in the vendor business is people who were hiring own their own businesses. But every piece of advice I'm getting is that you tip for like every single thing that you use for the wedding. So these two different pieces of advice of what I was raised believing about tipping culture and what I'm seeing all online are in direct contrast. And obviously we're setting our

budget and the tipping will take us over, which I recognize I want to make sure I'm being fair and recognizing people for their hard work, but I guess I just don't know what's okay. Okay, Lauren, what do you think? Okay, so this is such a common question. And I love that you asked it, Colleen, because I feel like, I don't know about you guys, but you can't go anywhere anymore

without being requested for a tip. Someone gives you a cup of coffee, you know, you get in a taxi, it's everywhere. And I think our tipping culture has changed a lot over the years. You aren't wrong, you know, in terms of tipping, ultimately they're at the discretion of you and your partner.

So it's a great way to recognize the hard work that your vendors are putting in. It's a service industry job, right? A lot of people are accustomed to tips. Traditionally, business owners of larger companies don't get tips. So how you were raised and what you learn is still the case.

However, you know, a lot of these vendors who are bringing your day together aren't really large companies. They're smaller companies. There might be an owner and a two or three person team. Additionally, sometimes the service will really exceed your expectations. Maybe not the Costco cake,

but maybe your photographer is gonna be juggling four cameras all night and just capturing all those details you have been planning for the last year, and you'll want to really honor their work by showing some gratuity. Also, a good thing to keep in mind, Colleen, is to check your contract. Sometimes vendors include tips as part of the contract,

kind of like when you go to a restaurant and they say gratuity is included for parties of eight or more. Sometimes a caterer, for example, will have a tip in their contract. So you just want to make sure you read that closely. Another great way to show your appreciation if you don't want a tip monetarily

is to write a thank you note. I think that we are in such a unique age of technology and text messages and whatnot. Nothing like a handwritten note just to really show your gratitude. And furthermore, so many of these pros really rely on you as their best advertising. So going on to a website like Snot and going into the marketplace to write a review of your wedding pro is just a great way to honor the service they gave you

and to help promote their business. We have an entire vendor tip sheet on our website so you can get the breakdown of like, what's the typical percentage for a hairstylist? How much should you tip a photographer? What is it going great for a musician or a delivery person? So that will help you break down. But again, it's really about what you and your partner

feel comfortable with and about the service you receive and how you wanna show that gratuity. The other thing I would say is, you know, think about the people who might get a little overlooked, like maybe your bartenders. And again, I would just double check that venue contract because it does include catering. There might be a gratuity already built in

for the servers and people like that. Also musicians, I don't know if you have anybody there, if you're parking attendance, or I always like to think about the people who might get overlooked because they often are working the hardest. And that's a really nice way just to show your gratitude to them as well.

That is a great point. One thing I'm thinking about in the context of my wedding, my partner and I are getting married at the mayor's balcony in San Francisco City Hall. We met in San Francisco, so we want to go back there and bring all of our friends there for this 10 year anniversary that we're having. And so because we are renting out this balcony, I'm not going to be tipping City Hall, but we're hiring a musician who will play at the ceremony. And even though she has her own business, I'll be tipping her. And I'm also

planning to tip the wait staff at the restaurant where we're having our reception, but I probably won't tip the owners of the restaurant. So it kind of goes back to in general, I like to tip anyone who operates as a contractor or in a service capacity. And would you say 20% is standard here or 25? Like I'll usually tip 25% if it's someone that I'm working with closely, like my hairstylist, I tip them 25%. But is 20 more standard if you don't maybe have an intimate relationship with the person? Yes, I think anywhere from 15 to 25% of the total fee is pretty normal for people like

that. All right. Well, Colleen, I'd like to turn to some of the other questions that you wrote into us about around planning your wedding and the financial and logistical stuff involved in it. So can you talk with us about what's been on your mind? Yeah. So as I mentioned before, we have help from our family for paying for the wedding and to make their brains a little

bit easier they went ahead and sent some of the money ahead of time just so that they're it's off their plate and and on to ours and so as we're paying for things and putting it on our credit card for points for airline travel hopefully that'll love to hear that your honeymoon hopefully yeah yeah that's the goal. That we can just then pay ourselves back instead of having to go to them for each one. And so since I have this chunk of money ahead of time, right now it was just transferred straight into my checking account. But that feels like a, I don't know if that's a silly place to just keep it in the meantime.

Is it worth moving that into savings, into a high yield savings account? I just don't want to make a silly move or not take advantage of this moment. Well, I love to hear that you're thinking about optimizing getting a good yield on your savings. That's the nerd wallet way for sure. But one thing to think about here are two things really would be accessibility and the yield that you can get. So you are right that you'd be able to get a better yield putting this amount of money that you have into a high-lid savings account versus just keeping it in your checking. I don't think it's going to be really difficult to transfer the money over.

All you'll have to do is just set up that deposit and then it might take a couple days of the money to go from your Checking to your savings and then it's just in your savings account And so that's not gonna be all too cumbersome to do So yeah, I think it could well be worth it. Okay, great The other question I had is sort of a combo question about etiquette and it affects our finance and our budget as I mentioned before, we have two different venues. One is the church where we're getting married and one is the reception. We're having people stay close to the church and we have

arranged buses to take people from the church to the reception because we know that's like a 20-minute ride away and if we want people to go to both, we need to provide transportation. And since it's a 20-minute ride away, we need to provide transportation back. But my question would be about asking people to get themselves to the church, which is half a mile, but it's in the heat in September and it's in heels. But we chose a place close to the church on purpose. Is it acceptable to ask people to get themselves to the church or do we need to add another segment of our buses and pay for people's transportation to the ceremony?

Lauren, what do you think? This is a great question, Colleen, and I love the way you're thinking about it. So the short answer is, I don't think you do. I don't think you need to provide a ride from the hotel to the church, given the proximity. I hear you on the heat, I hear you on the heels, but there are other alternatives.

So if you wanted to do something thoughtful and kind for people who might need extra help getting to the church, you could always try and do a transportation discount code through a ride share service like an Uber or a Lyft, which could allow people to take advantage of that if it's available in the area or let people know if there's transportation. Check with your hotel to the recommended hotels. They might have a shuttle that usually takes people within a mile distance of the hotel. I think the most important thing to consider is the transportation to the reception and the way home. You know, you want everyone to get home safely if they're drinking and I think that's the key thing when planning a wedding and a reception is that transportation piece on the back half. So we always say if your locations are more than 30 minutes apart,

it's worth considering providing transportation for all wedding guests. This means they won't be inconvenienced with ride chairs or a long wait or a long drive, everyone will arrive on time, but it always comes down to your personal preference. So I think what you've outlined makes a lot of sense for your budget and I think it's still very thoughtful

and making sure that your guests are getting that ride to the reception and a safe ride home. And I think they can find their way to the church. Okay, great. That saves me money. Yeah. And Colleen, I think you are a more thoughtful wedding planner than my partner and I because we have not even considered whether we would put money up for people to get to City Hall where we're having our wedding ceremony or then the restaurant that's a little ways away where we're having

our reception. I think being in a dense city like San Francisco and fortunately a lot of my friends and family are like city dwellers, I'm just thinking you guys can figure it out. I have my own stuff to do and part of it is budget related. I am really trying to spend less than $13,000 on my wedding all in. I was originally hoping to spend less than $10,000, but quickly that was shown to be unrealistic for me because wedding planning is so expensive. So kudos to you for being a kind, thoughtful wedding planner, but I am making some sacrifices and so will my guests so I can keep this wedding affordable. Well, one thing that I saw on the knot actually that blew

my mind was that the average cost of a wedding in San Francisco is over $51,000. That's bananas to me. SONIA DARA Yeah, a lot of money. MATT PORTER Yeah, I mean, I'm trying not to go into debt to pay for my wedding. So I've just been saving actually, pretty much since I proposed to my partner. So that's one of the benefits of waiting five years to get married. But otherwise, I just don't know how you do it. But $51,000 for one day. That's just not where my partner and I like to prioritize our money. We're planning to go to Japan for our honeymoon. And that's going to be a good chunk of change. So that's really our financial focus. That makes sense. And that's kind of one of the things I love about wedding planning today is it really is your personal preference. There are no rules. You get to do what feels right to you as a

couple. And yes, what you're referencing is our not 2025 real wedding study, where we survey all sorts of data, namely the average cost. It comes up a lot and the average cost across the nation is $33,000. But yes, in specific cities, it's either more or less. So when you get into an urban environment like your San Francisco or my New York City, everything costs more. So I think what it gets down to then is, A, do you have the savings and do you want to spend your money that way? And if you don't, how can you spend less than that average and still have an event that is memorable, that reflects who you are as a couple, and that is special? And it is

absolutely doable. You know, you both are thinking about this from a very budget mindset, which I love because that means that your money is going where you want it to be, whether that's a trip to Japan or planning for your future together. So we find a lot of couples are being really intentional about all their decisions and how they're spending, and they're really making sure that they're well-versed in how much things cost. And that just allows you to be a little bit more thoughtful

about your budget from the get-go. If you know you only have so much to spend, you can do what it sounds like you did, Colleen. What are my number one, two, and three priorities? What are my partner's top three priorities? And how can we align on them so that we can be spending our budget with intention and be really comfortable with how we spent our money

without going over budget? So Lauren and Colleen, this has been a really helpful conversation, at least for me, I know. As a way to kind of wrap things up, Lauren, I'd love to hear if you maybe have one tip for people listening who are planning their weddings. What would be your tip for how they can save money amid everything that is so expensive? Yeah, so this is going to sound kind of counterintuitive, but stick with me here. I think the number one tip I always give couples is to hire a wedding vendor team.

It sounds like you're spending money on things, but truly when you work closely with these vendors, you will be able to save money. You'll be able to stay within your budget and still get your desired outcome, whether that's a style of cake you like or florals that represent your vision. These vendors are so keen in bringing near day to life

and doing it in a magical way. And they're so good at what they do. They're really solution oriented. They can provide you with a lot of advice. They can give you alternatives that you can stay within budget. So I think it's a great way to get creative while still sticking to your budget. Okay, great. Well, Colleen, I'd like to hear a little bit about how you're feeling with your wedding and the finances involved.

Oh, so much better. Now I need to go back into my budgeting spreadsheet and add in the tips so that I won't have that sticker shock. So I can see it now, what I will expect. And I'll double check the language in my contracts because I didn't even think about that being, like the restaurant already added gratuity, you know? Right.

Yeah, and like I said, there's a whole article on tipping on the knot.com. So if you get stuck or you're like, Oh, what did she say about this? You can go back and check it out on our website and it'll help you budget ahead. And I think that's so smart because that is a thing like kind of like the alterations around your dress, you might've budgeted a thousand dollars for your dress and you spent $999 and oops, now you need to get some alterations or you need to get some undergarments. So those are those little sneaky costs that add up

and that can make people go over budget. So adding those tips in early is a huge win for you. Well, Lauren Kay at The Knot, thank you so much for joining us. And Colleen, I'm so excited for you and your partner and congratulations on everything to come. Thank you. Congratulations to you and your partner too.

Yes, congratulations to both of you and thank you for having us. And that's all we have for this episode. Remember listener that we are here to answer your partner too. Yes, congratulations to both of you and thank you for having us. And that's all we have for this episode. Remember listener that we are here to answer your money questions. So turn to the nerds and call or text us your questions at 901-730-6373. That's 901-730-NERD. You can also email us at podcast at nerdwallet.com. Or if you're listening on Spotify, drop us a comment right in the app.

Follow Smart Money on your favorite podcast app, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and iHeartRadio to automatically download new episodes. Here's our brief disclaimer. We are not your financial or investment advisors. This nerdy info is provided for general educational and entertainment purposes and may not apply to your specific circumstances. This episode was produced by Hilary Georgie, who also helped with editing, Nick Charisame, Nickstar Audio, and a big thank you to NerdWallet's editors for all their help.

And with that said, until next time, turn to the nerds.