NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast - Splitting the Bill With Friends? Navigate Venmo Requests, Unpaid Loans and Money Regrets

Episode Date: October 12, 2026

Learn how to handle money tension with friends and partners, from splitting costs to getting a loan paid back. Is it fair for a friend to split every grocery bill with you when they earn far more than you do? Hosts Sean Pyles, CFP®, and Elizabeth Ayoola dig into some of Reddit’s messiest money conversations, with posts read by NerdWallet senior banking writer Spencer Tierney, credit expert Amanda Barroso and content strategist Jackie Tucker. You’ll hear why surprise payment app requests can sting, how rarely money values come up between friends, whether splitting every cost makes a friendship feel transactional, and what to consider when a friend borrows money twice and then asks whether they really need to pay it all back. Then, how much money does it take to stop worrying about money? Sean and Elizabeth discuss why there may never be a magic number, how medical bills and rising health care costs feed financial anxiety, and what a viral article about Gen Z women paying for, and parenting, their boyfriends reveals about the difference between a wage gap and an effort gap in relationships. They also open up about the financial decisions they regret (or refuse to), from overstaying in a low-wage job market abroad to not setting money aside for taxes, and react to Redditors’ biggest regrets, including selling Microsoft stock in 1992 and skipping a prenup. Read The Cut article discussed in this episode here: https://www.thecut.com/article/young-women-earning-more-money-boyfriends.html Want us to review your budget? Fill out this form — completely anonymously if you want — and we might feature your budget in a future segment! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScK53yAufsc4v5UpghhVfxtk2MoyooHzlSIRBnRxUPl3hKBig/viewform?usp=header To send the Nerds your money questions, call or text the Nerd hotline at 901-730-6373 or email [e-mail]. Like what you hear? Please leave us a review and tell a friend. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Discover coffee plus on nispresso.com. splitting the check, paying back a loan, figuring out who's really providing. Today we're diving into some of the messiest money conversations on Reddit, and we're giving you our nerdy takes. Welcome to NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast, where you send us your money questions, and we answer them with the help of our genius nerds. I'm Sean Piles. And I'm Elizabeth Ayala.

Today we're featuring another edition of our hit episodes we call As Seen on Reddit, and we have some of our nerds reading the questions today in Kempiles. you guys are sick of seeing our face. Yes, we are on YouTube. They could never be sick of seeing us, Elizabeth, because we're so gorgeous, obviously. Well, let's get to the first post as read by NerdWallet banking writer Spencer Tierney. Here it is. Hi, I'm just kind of asking for advice or thoughts and curious what people think. So my friend and I, in our mid to late 30s, living in a U.S. city, I'm in grad school, making less than 30 key a year, and my friend makes more than double what I do. And as a partner that makes 120k plus, probably, my friend has been saving a bit and is now buying a

home with their partner. I think because of this, they have started requesting money for groceries when we cook together at their place, or we have a picnic and they supply like 75% of the goods. This isn't really something they've done in the past, and it's never something I have or would do, and I feel like I offer other things, like free gym passes to a gym I work at. This has been frustrating me because it seems lame, honestly, and very anti-my-M-M-A-O. Like, I'm excited for a day when I'm done with grad school and can take on more of a financial burden and very much feel like that's how community should work. But maybe that's just me.

I gather this friend is making a big investment and has been taking on a slightly larger financial burden in our relationship. Maybe 65%. But this shift doesn't feel good considering I'm not. making so little money. So I would love to hear more about how you all think about this. Am I being extra grumpy? Should we just stop doing more money-vegged things together? Would love y'all's thoughts. Edit. If I wasn't clear, when I buy the groceries, I just pay for the groceries. So that's like 33% of the time. And when they pay for groceries or supplies,

they request a 50-50 split over the apps. All right, Elizabeth, where do you want to start with? This has never happened to me personally. And I really feel like that's atrocious behavior. I don't like that at all. What are your thoughts? You mean requesting without saying anything beforehand? Yes. What do you mean I just get a request on my phone and we haven't had any prior discussion about me owning you money? I find it kind of tacky and I think it speaks to, you know, maybe some insecurity or passive aggressiveness on the side of the requester. But when I read this post, it reminded me of a similar situation that some of my friends were in not too long ago. Where this wasn't me, it was just kind of adjacent in my friend group. There's one friend who over to another friend's house and both of these people make six figures. They're doing fine.

One friend invited the other over to have a night of just like making nachos and chilling and relaxing. And you know, nachos are not an expensive thing to make. And if I'm hosting someone, it'll be my treat. I want them to have a good experience. There's come into my house. I'll make you good food and we'll enjoy it. That was what my friend thought she was getting into and she went to this other friend's house. However, the next day, she woke up to a Venmo request for crazy. Something like $13 for all of the nacho materials. I'm about to get mad.

I'm about to get mad. 13 bucks. And again, these people make well north of six figures. And there is no communication about it. It just feels so cheap to me. And it feels like really bad hospitality, too. And if you're friends with these people, why do you care about 13 bucks, especially when you're doing fine financially?

Do you know something I always say? Because I'm the friend who. We go out. Sometimes I'll take it and pay for everything. No matter who ordered what, I'm okay to split the bill in half. I understand that's not everyone's values. Yeah. But I always say, heavens forbid, that I'm homeless because I can or I don't have $13. You know what I mean? It's $13 really, and I'm not, no offense to anyone who will break their budget. But is that really going to ruin me financially? No. So it's like, why would I request $13 back? I don't understand that. And honestly, I mean, it kind of cheapens the relationship. It shows how much you're really valuing

this person. And for me, it makes me not want to get close to that person because I feel like I won't be able to have a generous, equitable dynamic, which is how I like to structure my friendships anyway. I really love giving to people that I care about. And part of that is just like by covering the tabs sometimes or having them over for food, like a few weeks back after Dolly Parton passed, rest in peace. Garrett and I had a bunch of friends over for a Dolly party where I bought a bunch of Dolly Parton wine, which if you didn't know is a thing. Dolly didn't even drink, but she had wine. I don't know that. A merchandising maven. What a deed. Honestly, it's pretty good for a chardonnay.

And then, you know, we made some of her cakes. Like, we just got all of the dolly stuff and made it. And it was phenomenal. And my friends also brought food that they made, too. It's all about generosity and sharing and giving. And I wasn't expecting my friends to throw in money for the wine that I bought because why would I do that? But Sean, imagine them all, or rather you taking the time to Venmo each one of them after or cash app request them asking them for some money back. Like, what's that about?

Frankly, I'm too lazy for that anyway. Something that comes to me as we're having this conversation is I don't think money values are spoken enough about in friendships. We talk about them within the context of relationships, but how often do we think about how financially compatible we are with our friends in terms of our values. And these are things that you kind can't really discover until you're in experience like this. Like you're not going to be chatting with a potential new friend. I mean like, oh, hey, like if you were in this dynamic where you were trying to save for a house and you suddenly felt really tight about money, Are you going to be Venmoing me every time we go out?

Who's going to say yes to that? And if they do, I mean, thankfully they would let you know they have a bunch of red flags up front and you can distance yourself from them. But I do kind of sympathize a little bit with the Venmower in this situation because they're trying to save her house expensive to do that. But the pay disparity is what kind of sets me off because the Venmower and their partner are making a lot of money. They know that this roommate is not.

And that just feels kind of inconsiderate. it to me. We've kind of given our take and we both don't agree with the whole Venmo thing, but I will say if your values is that you like to split every single thing down the middle down to $13, I think there deserves to be some communication there for respect of the relationship. So this person can choose. So if you said, for example, you know what I'm trying to save for a house and moving forward, I would like to split the cost of any kind of get-togethers we do, that person gets a choice to choose and say, hey, that's out of my budget, especially because they earn more because truly nobody's obligated even your friend to pay for things for you, right? It's a kind

thing to do, but it's not necessary. But at least let the person know where you are so they can make a choice and say, hey, I can't afford that and I'll just sit at home or let's go to something free. This also might be a time for the person who posted and their roommate and the roommate's partner to separate their finances. They seem kind of intermingled. I mean, and I have never had a situation with a roommate where we're all pooling groceries. I kind of get the appeal of that, but this doesn't seem to be working for them anymore. So maybe they can pull themselves back because it seems like their friend is already pulling back their finances anyway.

But let's get into some of the Redditor comments because that's always where the juicy stuff is too. One person totally disagrees with us. They said, I think it's fair for her to ask 50-50 for things, especially if you're cooking together. Now I do think it's tacky if they invite you over for a meal. They cook and then ask for money, which is what I just told a story about.

But it's more of something you are doing together, so that's different. I don't completely disagree with that. Again, if you want to ask for the money, it's fine. It's just actually communicate about it. Don't just send a request. That's not right. And also, if you are going over to a friend's place for food, sorry, I'm not over this whole

dynamic of it. It was my friend. If you're going to be bringing like a bottle of wine or something to put on those nachos, I'm going to be contributing in some way. So adding a Venmo request on top of that just feels like it's undercutting my own contributions and it makes it so transactional in a way that I just don't jive with it all. Look, I just saw a comment that used that exact word. So someone said, TBH is always awkward to turn a friendship into something transactional.

So, Sean, do you think the friendship becomes transactional if you are asking them to split the cost of everything? It's so context specific, right? Like this past weekend, I went out with my friends for one of our friends' birthdays. And there were 10 of us at a table. We got a bunch of food. The partner of the birthday boy covered the check. we're all going to be pitching in money to cover that because we don't want the birthday person to have to pay it all. And we also don't want the friend to put down their card to be paying hundreds of dollars for everyone's meal.

In that case, yes, let's share it. But sometimes if it's just three of us going out, you know, I might pick up the tab. A friend of mine might pick up the tab. But half the time I feel like we end up Benmoing anyway because we just don't want our friend's budgets to get blown out in proportion just by having a nice meal out, you know? I don't know. Where do you land on this? What comes to mind for me is that what I've learned is that everyone brings something. different to the friendship. And I do have some friends who are rather stingy, but they are good

in other ways. So maybe they show up if I need a hand or if I need to put something together or if I'm having a vent, they're always there or they're always checking up on me and provide emotional support. So I don't expect my friends to share every value with me and all to show up in the same way. So I don't think it necessarily makes the whole friendship transactional if I have a very cheap and penny-pinching friend. But they better show up in other ways that makes it balanced. Yeah. And one last note on this before we get to the next post is something we emphasize a lot is how to have an equitable dynamic with whoever you are relating to in your life and with your finances because that just feels more fair. So if someone's making a whole lot less than me and I know that and we're going out to a place that has a $15 cocktail, I might buy their round because I don't want them to feel like money is tight for the experience that we want to share together. So that's where I always land on this too. So on that note, next time we go out, you're paying, okay? Okay, and then you get the one after that.

Yeah, sure, sure, deal. All right, on to the next Reddit post. This one is titled, At What Income or Net Worth Did You Stop Worrying About Money? That one hit close to home because I ebb and flow, but I still do worry about money. What about you, Sean? Yeah, I honestly don't think there's ever going to be a specific number at which point I stopped worrying about my money because it's always going to be something that I'm maintaining, especially with how much I have invested for my retirement,

I'm going to be monitoring those investments, making sure that they can fund me over the long term. Maybe if I was a multi, multi, multi, millionaire, I wouldn't be as worried. But even so, in that case, I think I might be even more attentive because just the scale of what you're managing is so much greater. I just want to make sure that I'm protected,

and as much as I try, I'm never going to fully shake off my scarcity mindset because we know how thin the social safety net is in this country, a few wrong steps can put you in a really tough situation. So I'm always going to be monitoring my finances. I don't really think there's a number that I will feel safe at. And some of the comments get to that, the very top one that I see is I'll let you know when I get there because I have not experienced a certain number that makes me feel safe. I love that you brought out the systemic aspect of it. I always joke and like knock on wood,

heavens forbid I got a terminal illness. I always joke that I would move back to the UK where I could get free or rather universal health care. I have a friend who unfortunately was doing very well financially, had her house paid off, budgeting, doing all the things right, no debt. And then she got cancer. And now she is in debt over her head and she just feels very stuck, right? So I guess the point is you can feel financially secure at a certain number, but life can, especially life in America, can happen to you at any time and just kind of derail your finances. And that's also another argument for living for today while planning for tomorrow. Like you can save as diligently as you want, but medical bill is just the scale of them can totally blow up your finances. So I doubt that,

you know, buying one fewer pair of shoes or going out to one fewer dinner with friends would have saved your friend from going into debt. So enjoy the things you like while you can. Oh, okay, here's another comment. I'm comfortably retired and still not there. Finance insecurity is always a big one for a lot of people. I think, you know, when I think about like the number I know, to Sean, obviously I've done my retirement calculations and said I need a certain million to feel comfortable retiring. But retirement scares me also in terms of like rising health care cost and you know I don't own a home but sometimes I go, well, if I choose to keep renting, then I'm going to forever have a housing cost, right? And that kind of scares me sometimes too. So it's

just really difficult. And you know the other thing as well? Like you said, even if I say I want to be super ambitious and I don't know, I want to start a million dollar business, the amount of work that goes into building that kind of wealth, if you're not lucky, scares me as well. So then it goes, well, what do I do? Do I work myself to the ground or I just keep saving diligently and I land where I land? You'd have to kind of play it by ear over time and adjust. Do what you can, control what you can, but know that there's always going to be some level of worry about where you are because that's just the nature of managing your money.

Sometimes I feel guilty for doing it, but I think we all have a natural disposition to comparing ourselves to where we should be at this age. right, kind of to our peers. And sometimes I go, well, I feel very lucky and I feel very blessed because I'm doing fine for my age and for this stage of life, right? Could be worse. One thing that helps me resolve some of my worry is focusing on being grateful, having moments of gratitude, okay, I've been able to save this as much for retirement or this much in my high-old savings account. And that is a very privileged position to be in. And so that gives me a sense of security too. And also, if I'm feeling stressed, maybe because something else is

going on like I've had a really expensive month and I'm worrying that I'm overspending. In that case, I'll just get clear about my spending about my budget and again, focus on the aspects of my finances that are in my control beyond the world and how uncertain it is in general. Okay, up next, this Reddit post is based on an article published by The Cut title, Call Her Mommy, Gen Z women are paying for and parenting their boyfriends. This article was fascinating to read. It basically lays out a number of different people and relationships where they, as Gen Z women, feel like they are mommying their boyfriends, and some of the boyfriends really love it. And they even call their girlfriend their mommy in ways that feels kind of weird.

And I had some spicy thoughts about this article and so did folks in this Reddit thread. Here is the Reddit thread, as read by Amanda Barroso, our credit expert at Nerb wallet. Elder Millennial here who's curious to know everyone's thoughts about this article. Is this an accurate depiction of Gen Z men today? or is the article just talking about a very narrow subset of men? Personally, I'm appalled by the guys who seem to bring nothing to the table at all. If I'm the high-earning breadwinner woman in the relationship, I'd expect the guy to pick up the slacker on the house, do chores, make dinner.

Anyway, having a house husband would be a dream. All right, so I did read this article, Sean. And what I got from this article, there were multiple stories about Gen Z women who are essentially breadwinners in the relationship. They're ambitious women. They're going for it. And they're in relationship with these men who are not paying for anything. And also expecting them to do all the housework and sometimes even emotional labor in their

relationships. So what happens is I'm going to take one of your favorite words. The relationships feel very inequitable. The balance of expectations also feel so wrong too. I had a friend who was in exactly this dynamic where she was paying for rent on her apartment where she and her boyfriend lived. He didn't contribute. anything for the rent, and he would get mad at her if she didn't make him breakfast in the morning.

Can you imagine that? And guess what happened? The romance completely dried up in that relationship. Resentment replaced it, and eventually they broke up because he couldn't get his act together, and he refused to contribute really anything to the relationship. And I was a little surprised by how long this person stayed in this relationship, but it goes to show how hard it is to disentangle yourself from a dynamic, When you feel supported, you want a successful relationship.

Because for these women, too, having a successful romantic partner is one of the definitions or parameters for success, beyond money. So you don't want to give that up. But if you're not being supported, it's hard to build a long-term relationship with someone if they're just expecting you to do everything for them. And now for the people listening, if you saw me on YouTube, you would have seen me picking up my jaw from the ground because what the H? I'm going to use H here. But you know what? I also can resonate because I have had many, many partners that I unfortunately have had to parent. And as I look back, the money wasn't always the issue in terms of me earning more.

It was the fact that they didn't want to do the work. Sean, I think I've told you about that boyfriend that I had that I was living with. It was actually the first partner that I lived with. And he was a lot older than me. He didn't have a job. And he told me he was looking for a job when I met him. So I thought, okay, maybe he's just in between jobs. And he would drop me off to work every day.

I guess there was some work being done there. But then he would just sit at home and smoke all day. And then I would get, yeah, yeah. And I would get back and, safe to say, months on and went by, he didn't have a job. I was an editor at the time. So I tried to get him a writing job. And do you know what this guy did, Sean? Oh, wait.

I think he told me he plagiarized. Yes. So it just got to a point where, yeah, like, I'm trying to help you get a job. I'm trying to motivate you. I'm trying to encourage you. I'm paying for everything. And you don't want to do the work. So that's exactly what happened, just like many of these Genzi women in the article, I left because you get tired of it.

And I think there can be a distinction between having a wage gap in a relationship and an effort gap because say one person is making way more than the other. And there are examples in this article where there is one person who said, hey, my girlfriend's making a lot more than me, but I love to step up in other ways because my girlfriend has a really demanding job. And so I view it as my role to be sort of the emotional support when she gets home. I'll have dinner made. not all men hashtag were horrible in this article, but it goes to show that you can have non-financial wealth in other ways in terms of being an emotional support for your partner. Sean, I feel like you're being nice because if I recall the comment that guy made was that he was a caretaker.

And I thought that he was overstating his role because you emotionally support your partner, that does not make you a caretaker. That's just something that people do in a relationship, right? No. You're right. Because I'm betting that if he has a really stressful day at the skate park or whatever he does in his free time, she's going to be there to console him too. Exactly. What? But I think one thing I do want to point out because the original Reddit question said,

like, you know, is this a small sample size essentially or is this normal? I think this has been happening for time. We don't know exactly what the sample size of women experienced in this is because we had a few case studies kind of reference in the article. But I think even from my mom's generation, I've been hearing these kind of stories from our generations as millennials, I've heard these stories and it just sounds like a continuing trend here. Yeah. And I think articles love to separate things out by generation and those feel like arbitrary divides a lot of the time.

I think how it's manifesting can just be a reflection of different stages of your life. Like my mom is a single woman in her 60s and she's talked with me about how now at this point men don't want her to just be their mom. They also want her to be their nurse because these guys have back problems or whatever other ailments are coming with aging. Take it to the chiropractor. And they think my mom is going to help them. Yeah, and she's not a doctor. Yeah, it's just bananas. So I guess it's all to say, like, men, you can step up in other ways, too. Like, this is not to rag on all men. We know that there's some great guys out there. I'm married to one. Before you guys start emailing us, it's not all men. We know. Have a holistic view of your contributions, and please have them be financial, too.

I got so excited, Sean, because I'm reading the comments and actually just cut me off where you need to because I can go on a whole rampage about this. But here's this comment. Sometimes I question the sense of urgency I have with ensuring my teenage boy is competent for his age with life skills. This is oddly assuring to me. I really don't want him to be a dusty leech. Legal underscore Crest, 7-851. Shout out to you for that comment, okay? As a boy mom, that is something I am very determined to do. I all is, what, eight, and I'm already teaching him how to cook certain dishes.

I make sure that he's able to clean up. And also that he understands the importance of contributing to a household. because sometimes I ask him to clean and he goes, I'm not a maid, I'm not, I'm a gamer. What do you mean? I'm not a maid. I'm a gamer. Yes. What do you mean?

You know, you have to contribute to the household. That's part of being a good community member. And this is not about gender. Everybody has to contribute, you know? Yes. That makes me think about growing up, my mom had my sisters and I making our own lunches as early as first grade. Amazing. I remember being six years old and telling my mom, I'm a child.

Why am I making my own lunch? She's like, well, I'm busy. I have things to do. And yes, there were days where my lunch was just a pudding cup. And guess what? I learned a good lesson that day where I had to make myself a full lunch and take care of myself because my mom is busy taking care of the rest of the household. So, yeah, I resented that when I was a child, but now I'm grateful for that lesson.

So Gen Z, men, if you're listening out there, you don't have to out earn your partner, but you do need to contribute something, okay? Thank you. Just show up. All right. That's all we're asking for. We're going for a quick break. Stay with us. Today's episode is sponsored by Scribe. Think of a complicated project you work on, something with 100 little steps, systems, and handoffs.

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Head to Scribe. Dot How slash Smart Money podcast. You'll get your first month of Scribe capture for free on select plans. That's S-C-R-I-B-E dot H-O-W-Smartmoney. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with a coffee plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like coffee plus B-12 to help support immune function,

and coffee plus B-6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight. Our new double espresso with ginseng. extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nispresso.com. All right. The next Reddit post is titled How to Ask Somebody to Pay You Back. And it's read by our content strategist Jackie Tucker. Shout out to Jackie. I have a friend that goes through tough times every now and then. And I can relate since I was in a very dire situation during the economical crisis back in 2008. And I had lots of people that supported me.

I was able to pay them back as soon as possible, even though they would tell me not to worry about it. I still did so. When this friend reached out, I felt like I need to pay it forward. You never know when it can happen to you again. The first time she asked for a loan, and we're not talking about a five-figure amount, I was happy to do so. And she said, I will pay you back as soon as I can. When she did, I had almost forgotten about it. But I was happy to see she had the sense of responsibility to pay her debts.

Well, she reached out again a few months later. I loaned her the same amount again. About the same time she reached out to pay me back the first time around, she messages me asking if she really needed to pay me back all of it. Nothing about can I play the rest later. I replied, well, if you're going to be tight until your next paycheck, then I can wait. It has been five months now and no messaging about it. Not only that, but she sure has been having a good old time shopping and partying.

I'm always a very up-front person, and I was about to send a request. payment from this app, but I was hesitant at first because of the friendship, but now I don't know. I tried to correct the title because it sounds like I have the answer, but in reality, I need the advice. This is such a tough one, Elizabeth. Have you ever loaned a friend money and not gotten it back? I have very bad memory, so there's a chance it may have happened and I don't remember. I feel like everyone has experienced that at some point in their life, but I can't remember a specific

memory of that. What about you, Sean? Yes and no. I have a friend who had a hard time financially when they were in law school and they needed some money to cover rent and I'm sure partying too a little bit. And so this is when we were in our early 20s. I had just gotten a job that was paying me anything at all and I gave her a few hundred bucks and I wasn't expecting her to pay me back even though she promised she would. And it's been over a decade and I get to see a penny of that and I don't ever really think about it or want it back because I know that my friend is in a tough spot and I wanted to help her. So that's just because I knew this person. They're like a sister to me. It's different if it's just kind of a general friend and they promise they're going to pay you back. And then in this case,

too, you're seeing them going out partying, avoiding you. If you're expecting that money back, I think you should probably reset your expectations. I agree. And I think you're such a loving friend for not asking it back. And again, living your values of being equitable in your friendship. something my mom has always said to me is never lend somebody what you can't afford to not get back and that has stayed with me. So I have landed people money over the years

but what I do is I give it as a gift. So I go, here you go, and I don't expect it back. So I think that gives me peace of mind and it also maintains the friendship so we're not fighting about money. Hounding someone down for money, whether it's like $13 for nachos or a few hundred bucks for a car repair,

is just such an unpleasant situation to be in. And I don't want to be a lone shark to someone in my friend group. No, but also, can we talk about the audacity of the person in this Reddit post to message and ask if she really needs to pay back all of it? I think that's a little inconsiderate, though, because you don't know your friend's financial situation. Even if they seem to be in a better position than you,

you don't know what bills they have coming out, or maybe they're short that month, and they really need that money. So I do think it's a little bit outrageous for them to say, do I really need to pay your money back if you've already agreed to pay it back? I get how hard this conversation could be to have, but I think it's important that the person who posted this actually is like have a phone call with a friend or if they see them out somewhere say, hey, can we chat for a second? I actually really need this money back because I have things to pay for in my life. When can I get this back from you?

And set up maybe some kind of payment plan, but don't just send a Venmo requests or a Zell request or whatever it is. Make sure that you're both in agreement on it and maybe have some kind of accountability of like some other social proof or you could even just like talk about it to other people so that they know. know that this person has been kind of cheap because social capital is something too. But I think just the conversation could go really far, hopefully, and it doesn't seem like they've fully had that talk yet. Agreed. Let's look at some comments. I see one here that says you either lose the friend or you lose the money. Lending between friends is generally not a good idea. Consider it a gift and move on and don't give her money again. Honestly, that's my take on it too. Unless it's like

$10,000 or something, we are not friends anymore. This would really color my impression of that person. Because if they are taking my money and then they're doing all these other things and not paying me back and being avoidant, I'm going to probably be keeping them in arm's length. They will be a sometimes friend to me, but they're not someone who I'm going to have a close long-term friendship with. Yeah, because if you cannot have integrity and keep your word and pay me back or at least communicate a time when you can pay me back, then our values do not align.

And finally, the last post, what is a financial decision that you will regret for the rest of your life? Elizabeth, want to share your regrets with us? What a way to end, soppy, just like I like it. It was hard to answer this question because for the most part, I'm one of those people who believe I am exactly where I should be in life. But if I had to pick something, I think something I ruminate on often is how long I stayed in Nigeria. So as you know, I lived there throughout my 20s. You were there for like seven years, right?

Yeah. So I didn't leave until I was about 28. And I also started my career there. Not to say it's a bad thing, but as we know, the currency is very different. So I was earning a lot less. I think my salary at the time, it was seen as decent there. but it was like $200 a month. It just made it hard for me to do many things financially, to save, to do anything at all,

because I was kind of living paycheck to paycheck. So I sometimes go the experience of living in Nigeria was so fundamental for me in terms of building my character and building me as a person, but I feel like I overstayed. And I would have left a little bit earlier and started my career basically earlier and started earning more money earlier if I left. Yeah. As we know, time is our greatest asset when it comes to things like invest.

just getting all that compound interest while you can. I get that, but I kind of subscribe to a different school of thought. I always go back to this line from Madonna's song, Human Nature, which she finishes the song saying, absolutely no regrets. And that's a line. Love it. I love it. And I think that's just a healthy way to live your life because regret can really eat you up.

You can always think about the things that you could have done differently. But you did them the way you did them. Life unfolded how it did. So make the best of the decisions that you make. There's another added that comes to mind, too, where it's not the decision that you make. It's what you do with that decision that really can help you or determine what you're doing in your life. So even though there are certainly times where I definitely, oh, a bird just flew into my window.

Oh, my God. Is it okay? It flew away. Okay. I wish we could have gotten footage of that. That bird regrets that, I'm sure. Anyway, there were times in my life where I probably could have invested or saved more or not spent as superfluously, but I did those things in the moment.

And, you know, fortunately I'm doing pretty okay, knock on wood financially. So I've learned those lessons. I've embodied them. They've informed what I'm doing now with my money and I'm feeling okay about it. So I'm not going to get myself bogged down with regret because life is too short. I hear what you're saying, Sean, and it sounds very positive and very optimistic. But really, you don't have anything that you're like, man, I probably shouldn't have did that. I definitely made mistakes.

Don't get me wrong. So choose one. When I was in my early 20s and I was a contractor, I had that job I mentioned earlier where I was finally making some money. and I was not setting aside money for taxes. I ended up paying off a tax bill for a couple years. And I didn't enjoy that at the time. I probably regretted it immediately in that moment. But with some years between me and that, I'm grateful for that lesson that I got from it.

And I don't regret it as weird as that might sound because I think sometimes you have to learn your lessons the hard way. And that's what I did then. So that's where I'm living. And I haven't done anything like catastrophically horrible with my finances. Maybe I would feel differently if that was the case. But again, I think regret can be kind of poisonous for your sense of well-being. Honestly, all of my mistakes, if you want to call them, well, yeah, some of them were mistakes. Make for good storytelling.

I think we'd be really boring on this podcast if we didn't make any mistakes and if we didn't regret anything at all. Everyone go listen to the song Human Nature by Madonna. It's not really about regret. It's a spicy song, but it's so good. And the music video is phenomenal. So that's what I'm going to leave people with. Let's look in the comments. It says, one comment says, I sold $25,000 in Microsoft stock in 1992 for the down payment

on my house. It would be $8 million today. $8 million. I'm feeling that for you. I'm going to put an asterisk on my previous comment and say, I'd probably regret that if I did it. I haven't messed with any numbers like that before. And imagine having to wake up and go to work every day when you know you could have been an eight millionaire.

Yeah, because guess what's that. I have daily regrets. Daily. That's more than my retirement number for what I need to have saved. So I would be firing. I could have been a millionaire every morning. Another comment. Not hiring my own attorney in my divorce.

That can be so expensive because you can get really a bad deal if you don't have an attorney to advocate for you weren't getting divorced. And can I point out there are quite a few getting married comments in here. So lots of people are saying that's their worst financial decision. Yikes on bikes. And essentially that's just getting into an improper contract or a contract that wasn't beneficial to you and getting a bad deal out of it. No prenupt. No, yeah.

Get a pre-nip or a post nut, folks. PSA from smart money. I had a BMW in my 20s. Loved it, but it was a money pit for real. Okay. I didn't tell you this, Elizabeth. When you were in Portland, my car was in the shop, right? And I had to spend like $3,000 to get a fixed.

Well, guess what, a few weeks back, I had to put my car back in the shop because something was up with the transmission. So I ended up spending another close to $2,000. So I've spent a total of almost $5,000 on my car in the past three months. Heartbreaking. Cheaper than buying a new car, I'm telling you that. But I don't regret buying my car because I got a great deal on it. But car maintenance is not fun, especially on a European car. Well, I have a Honda parked in my driveway, so no regrets there yet.

Yeah, a paid off Honda. So yeah, you're doing it really. A paid off Honda. Okay, folks, that is it. For this round of As Seen on Reddit, if you've seen anything really juicy on the internet or in your real life, let us know because we are just nosy, gossipy people sometimes on smart money. And we want to know your financial business. So send all your money thoughts, your questions, your gossip are away. You can leave us a voicemail or text us on the nerd hotline at 901-7306373.

It's 901-730 nerd. You can also email us at podcast at nerdvaal.com or leave a comment on Spotify or YouTube. And I'm going to say it again echoing Sean, we want to hear your stories. So send them to us. You might not have a money question, but maybe you have a wacky story like one of the ones we read or something that you have to share. Please, please, please send them to us. Join us next time to hear about planning for a sabbatical. I am currently doing that.

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