NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast - What Does "Rich" Really Mean? Reddit's Personal Finance Questions, Answered by the Nerds

Episode Date: April 13, 2026

We discuss real Reddit posts that reveal how people actually think about wealth, financial breakups, frugal habits, idle cash, and 529 overfunding. What does it mean to be “rich” in 2026? What can you learn about personal finance from scrolling Reddit? Sean Pyles, CFP®, and Elizabeth Ayoola delve into Reddit’s most relatable money posts to explain what Reddit gets right and where the commenters lead each other astray. But first, they kick things off by sharing their own financial confessions, with Elizabeth reflecting on the true cost of a private school decision she second-guessed, and Sean opening up about a years-long pattern of financial avoidance in his early 20s that finally caught up with him at tax time.  Then the Nerds turn to Reddit, reacting to actual posts from the personal finance and HENRY subreddits. Are you “rich” when you hit an income level, a net worth milestone, or something more personal? When a soon-to-be ex-fiancé secretly builds $50,000 in debt while planning to liquidate his 401(k) for an OnlyFans creator, how do you legally protect your home? Plus: a 27-year-old teacher with $70,000 in cash and zero investments, a parent questioning whether $500,000 in a 529 is overkill, and high earners asking which frugal habits are worth finally dropping. Want us to review your budget? Fill out this form — completely anonymously if you want — and we might feature your budget in a future segment! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScK53yAufsc4v5UpghhVfxtk2MoyooHzlSIRBnRxUPl3hKBig/viewform?usp=header Reddit threads referenced in this episode: What is 'Rich' to you? When will you graduate from this sub? https://www.reddit.com/r/HENRYfinance/comments/1qoftu1/what_is_rich_to_you_when_will_you_graduate_from/  Protecting myself from my soon to be ex-fiancée https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/1rf5wpx/protecting_myself_from_my_soon_to_be_exfianc%C3%A9e/  What are frugal habits you are looking to break and/or have broken for the better? https://www.reddit.com/r/HENRYfinance/comments/1rbt1hp/what_are_frugal_habits_you_are_looking_to_break/  My girlfriend (27) has $70k sitting in cash and no investments, what would you do? https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/1rx7hv0/my_girlfriend_27_has_70k_sitting_in_cash_and_no/  Is $500k in 529 too much or right amount? https://www.reddit.com/r/HENRYfinance/comments/1rb9anm/is_500k_in_529_too_much_or_right_amount/  To send the Nerds your money questions, call or text the Nerd hotline at 901-730-6373 or email [e-mail]. Like what you hear? Please leave us a review and tell a friend. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In communities across Canada, hourly Amazon employees can grow their skills and their paycheck by enrolling in free skills training programs for in-demand fields. Learn more at aboutamazon.ca. Hey, Elizabeth, we have to talk about the newsletter. What newsletter are you talking about, Sean? You mean the new, free, smart money email newsletter? Yes, and I have to say it is so good. It really is. It has clips, episode roundups, and behind the scenes takes from me, you,

and our producer, the stuff that makes you feel like you're really part of the show. And listeners, for the record, you actually are part of the show. I'm going to be sharing personal stuff. You know, I love sharing my business, and I'm going to be sharing parenting tips from an eight-year-old and a single mom perspective. And I am loading up the newsletter with my favorite gardening tips and lots of cute photos from my garden, including my pets, just napping among my flower beds. It's kind of adorable. And the best part is that this newsletter is totally free. So head to nerdwollet.com slash podcast to sign up.

For the record, that's nerdwollet.com slash podcast. Come hang out with us. One of my highest values is authenticity. And that means being able to own up when I make a mistake. While I sit on this show and talk about finances and give people tips, Elizabeth be messing up to sometimes. Sean, when you make a financial mistake, what is usually your thought process? Oh, no.

How can I make this right? I'm a little more dry. Oh, no. What are some emotions that you typically go through? Shame, guilt, panic. No, just kidding. I just try to figure out what I can do next. I'm very action-oriented when I make a mistake.

Okay, well, we're going to be talking about that on today's episode in addition to going through some juicy Reddit posts. Welcome to Nerd Wallet's Smart Money Podcasts, where you send us your money questions and we answer them with the help of our genius nerds. Sean Piles. And I'm Elizabeth Ayola. Today we are going to be discussing our worst financial mistakes. We're going to be getting vulnerable. You guys might be laughing at us or cringing in the background. It'd be a little embarrassing. Might be all the things the above. But we're going to be honest. We're going to be open and we're going to talk about our financial mistakes. Okay. Well, let's have you go first, Elizabeth. Okay. Fair at all. Okay. So for the dedicated listeners, you might have heard me touch on this mistake before, but I'm going to go into detail today.

And for the purpose of this episode, I went and dug through my emails so that I could find actual numbers to see how much this financial mistake cost me. I haven't calculated everything. So, Sean, let's see if you can do math on the spot. Okay. What do they call it napkin math? Back in the napkin? Yeah, we'll see. Okay.

Okay. So my worst financial mistake that I could think of was paying for private school. And this is a hard one, right? For your son? Yeah, for I all. I had his best interest at heart, and I was trying to give him the best quality education that I could give him. But I think I was so hung up on wanting to get it right and wanting to make sure that I didn't make any mistakes with his education, that I wasn't open enough to consider a public school, especially once I had moved to Houston. How much was the private school?

The private school was about $12,000 a year. Okay. Compared to public school. How much? Are you being funny? No, I'm curious. Free. Public school's free. Okay. I don't know if you had extra fees or whatever. Oh, no, no, no, public school's free. Well, unless you want to count all of the, oh, tomorrow is Lego Day. Dress your kid up as a Lego, right? That always costs money. We had registration fees and things like that. Oh, interesting. I didn't know that. Okay. No public school that I've been to has or put him in has registration fees. So completely free. And so when I moved to Houston, I looked up schools. I was not very open to public schools. I was just looking for the best private school. And I put him in. It was within my budget at the time. But,

There was a little, little voice in my head that said, just try the public school across the street, especially because my new neighbors kept saying it was such a good school. But my fears are my son is neurodivergent. I wanted him not to be in a humongous class size because he has ADHD. He struggles with attention. And I know that he might get left behind if he's in a public school, especially if he doesn't have very attentive teachers. And the fees never ended with this private school. There's always something to pay for.

Always something to pay for. and also constantly doing fundraisers, which I understand, but I'm already paying private school fees. And that where the money is going is to the school? Like, what do they need a fundraiser for? Thank you. Right. I did it for an entire year. I made several, I would say, in retrospect, financial mistakes along the way.

Like what? The biggest one is I was like, okay, well, how do I maximize this huge bill? Because I was paying quarterly. You could pay in one bulk, and then that's cheaper, or you could pay quarterly, and it's a little more expensive. Quarterly was more manageable for me at the time. So I said I'd pay quarterly. If you put it on a credit card, you get charged a 2% fee. Of course.

Which is basically wiping out any value of points that you might be getting from that charge. Oh, I didn't do that. I didn't do that math. And I went to take out my American Express Platinum at the time. And I said, hey, I can get the meet the bonus requirements, which was to spend a large trunk within six months using the private school charges. And initially that was working out. That was until I decided to pull him out the next year. Oh.

I did not get my sign-up bonus points. Oh, no. I paid fees on the charges because I was using my credit card to pay the tuition every quarter. And then, you know, basically I was at a loss. Oof. Okay. So if you added up all of these expenses, I guess I was supposed to be the one doing the mental math here. Well, I haven't told you yet.

So let me read them out. Okay, okay. Registration fee is the first fee. To register your child, you have to pay $800. So I paid $800 for a registration fee. Then you get charged $450 for a tech fee. Mind you, you're not getting any tangible tech. It's not like they're giving you an iPad.

There's the tech that's in the school. That's right, that they're just using at school. A think tank fee of $200. What's the think tank? Was I owe in a think tank? Are you part of a think tank if you go to the school? Was there going to be a think tank coming to the school? What does that mean?

Who knows? And I should have asked, but I was just like, here, take my money. Yeah. Then there was also the quarterly tuition, which is the biggest chunk. So I was paying $3,450 a quarter. plus the 2% credit card transaction fee, which I calculated to come up to $276 for four quarters. That's a good chunk of an annual fee on a credit card, especially if you had Amex Platinum. Terms and conditions apply, but I'm sure that's a very expensive fee.

It is an expense fee, almost $1,000 now. So it's around, I think, to $900 mark. That is how much I paid. So, I mean, it was a little depressing. And actually, there's more. I decided at the last minute to pull him out of private school when I finally decided to go across the street and check out the school and it was the aura. You know, sometimes you just know. You go in there, you feel like everyone was so warm and friendly. And it was literally across the street? It's literally across the street.

So you're saving on gas and time. Yes. We literally walk to school. I get my steps in every morning when I do take him when I'm not running late and I end up dropping him by the car. But it actually is an incredible school and he loves it. And I just thought I wish I would have been more open and checked out the school before I put him inside of that private school. But you live in Do they have enough supports for him? That's the other thing. They have lots of supports for him at the school as well. They're able to give him an IEP, an individual learning plan for children with disabilities, right?

And he also, his teachers are incredible. His teachers are incredible. And I have to point out, I didn't love the teacher that he had. I just think they weren't compatible student and teacher to put it in a nice way at his other school. So I'm paying all these private school fees. And then he's in the end. He's not even happy there. Exactly.

So what do you think is your main? lesson that you're taking away from this mistake? Well, first of all, especially when it comes to education or anything, always weigh out all the options. Don't be closed to certain options. I think in my mind, a big part of it as well is that I'm a single mom. And I put a lot of pressure on myself because I'm the primary parent to make sure that I'm doing a good job and he has a good outcome. And I think that really drove my decision versus being practical and saying, what are all the options here and private school may not be the best option. And even when it was time to pull him out, it was a very emotional decision for me because it almost felt like I was failing in a way.

Like, I attached so much meaning to I'm able to be a single mom and put him in private school and give him the best and I can do this all by myself that I was basically stepping on my own feet financially and putting myself. You were paying kind of more for the image and for the expectation that you were putting on yourself. Yes. More than what you were actually, you weren't really getting is good of a value education-wise for what Iyo really needs. And now it sounds like he's in a much better situation. He is. He is. Elizabeth, would you like to know how much you spent?

Yes, please. Tess, thank you. Tess is going to do the math for us, or she's done it already. $15,256 down the drain. Okay, okay, okay, fine. Not down the drain. It's not down the drain. I'm going to do some girl math here because while I didn't love that school for I.O.,

there was some value in it. He loved it. He did like the school sometimes. He did make new friends. He made a lot of friends. And I'm sure that he had experiences that'll stay with him there. But if you think about $15,000 something dollars over the course of the next 10 years. Oh, don't do that to me. If that was in his 529 account. That could be $150,000 towards his college fund. And now you'll be saving that money. My biggest financial learning here is when you've made a financial mistake, it is okay to stop. the bleeding one and to pivot and just to cut your losses. And a part of me wanted to also keep going because I had already invested so much in the school. But it's like, well, how much more will you save if you pull him out? And like you said, put that money into a 529 account or even towards

extracurriculars because I found my budget was a lot tighter and he couldn't do a lot of other things because I'm paying all this money in private school. And most importantly, he's now in a school that he really likes and has the support that he needs. And that's paramount, right? It is. And now I'm paying nothing. Love it. All right. So you have to. So you have to. tell me your financial mistake, Sean. Okay. Mine doesn't have a specific dollar amount attached to it. It's more of a mindset issue that I had when I was in my early 20s. I was super avoidant with all of my money and just buried my head in the sand. And I think I mentioned this before, but I

didn't grow up with like tons of tons of money. I never really made a lot. At one point in my early 20s, I finally got a job where I was earning as a contractor $7,000 a month, which felt like, a million dollars to me and I would get just like a straight check once a month and that was all my spending money. I was living in San Francisco. I was probably 21, 22 and I was just having the best time of my life. And besides paying my rent each month, I wasn't looking at my expenses at all. I overdrafted semi regularly that still didn't stop me from going out. You would think that I would have had some kind of level of caution or reserve or thought at all about. what I was doing with my money, but I was just so focused on continuing to enjoy my day-to-day

life in this amazing city with my new friends and my great job that I just kept things sliding and sliding and sliding and overspending until a year after I got this job, I had to pay my taxes. This was before quarterly estimated taxes were required by law. So I ended up with just this one big tax bill that was free from those penalties because they didn't exist yet, fortunately, I still owed a lot more money than I really had. So I finally had to log into my account and see what I had. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What you mean finally logged in your account?

When the last time you logged into your account before that? I can't tell you because I don't know. Oh. I wouldn't log in. Wow. This is a safe space, but wow. I know. It's really irresponsible or it was.

Sean was like, yo, love. Me 12 years ago was super, super irresponsible with my money. But I've come so far since then. And I think a lot of it. it comes back to the fact that I didn't have a long-term plan. I'm a long-term vision. I was really just super in yolo mode every single day because that's what you do when you're 22 and your brain isn't fully formed and you're given access to money. And I in some ways don't regret. I was just going to ask you that. You sounded like you had a ball. Okay. It sounded like a fun time. Yeah. I really made the

most of it. But I could tell that I was sliding toward disaster, especially once my tax bill hit and I had to get on a payment plan. I had to reckon with this fact that I just was neglecting my finances and it made me begin to think about why I was so avoidant with my money because I knew I wasn't being responsible with it. And then the more avoidant I get, the more irresponsible I would get. And it was just this really dangerous cycle that I think if I frankly hadn't started working at NerdWallet, I would have been in a much worse off situation because I finally could use my journalistic skills to learn about money and how to make my money a little bit better. But so few of us have that financial education, especially when you're in your 20s, you finally have access to real

money and to credit really dangerously for the first time in your life. And we hear from so many of our listeners about how they get into debt in their early 20s because they're given access to a credit card at college or they just quote unquote need one to go on a trip and then they spend years and years paying it off. So I am grateful for my job. Thank you, Nerdwoll. And the education it gave me. But I wonder really what it would have taken otherwise if I hadn't gotten this job to get me on the right track or if I would be in some deep debt hole. Sometimes when I'm like having trouble sleeping at night, I just think about that alternative universe version of me that like didn't get this job or like just kept going down this avoidant rabbit hole because now I think I have this almost hypervigilant other side where I check my accounts.

least weekly to make sure I'm paying off my credit card balances and my spending is in check because of how wild I was a decade plus ago. I have so many follow-up questions and I have these follow-up questions because I think your story is so relatable. I think there are so many people out there. This is not based on any data, but in my mind. Anecdotally. Right.

Anecdotally. And sometimes based on listener questions as well. And people like are friends that we talk to. Yeah. They don't know where their money is going. They are afraid to check their accounts and they just keep spending because, you know, that cycle you said, right? You're overspending. You know you're overspending. You're too scared to check. You feel terrible about it. And you make yourself feel better by spending more.

What was your dominant emotion when you logged into your account and then realized you had that huge tax bill and saw where all of your yolo took you financially? Yeah. I would say there was a lot of anxiety, tightness in my chest and my shoulders when I was logging in because, of course, like, I couldn't remember my password. That too. And then now you're like resetting everything, which is really bad. And then there was an immediate moment of relief when I saw my balance. It wasn't as bad as I had expected, but I knew I didn't have enough to cover my bill. So I have a friend who's a CPA and she was able to get me on this payment plan. Thank God for her help. It didn't stop at that point either. You know, like I had that login. It takes time to break the habit. Yeah. But I would still, after I got my payment plan, I would still avoid checking my accounts every so often because I knew I wasn't going to like what I saw. And I know that I still have part of that impulse in me. And so I have to be really on top of it. Otherwise, you know, if I've gone on a vacation or I'm out of my regular habit of managing my finances for whatever reason, for whatever's going on in my life, it can be kind of tempting just to be like, I'll check it later.

I'll check it later. But it feels so nice just to know what's going on with your money and to be more empowered and just honestly make an informed decision about where your cash is going. Yeah. Because for so long I was just flying. by the state of my pants and eventually the pants were no longer. I was wearing no pants. Oh my God. To be granular because sometimes we talk about this transformation, you know, when we go from maybe overspending to managing our money better. But what are the little daily things that you did to get to better habits around checking your money and also budgeting? What are the little tweaks?

Because like you said, it doesn't happen overnight. You don't just see this huge bill and go, oh my God, I'm going to stop spending. You've built habits over time, right? I had to build kind of my own administrative infrastructure. So part of that was setting up auto pay for all of my credit cards. And I almost view that as like a looming threat over my checking account. It is. Because if you ain't got enough in there, womp, bump, bump.

I know that the money's going to come out at a certain time. So that pushes me to log into my account on a more regular basis. So I am more on top of my spending and I end up paying off my cards about weekly. So just tricking myself into being accountable. and responsible is a big one. So whatever way you can trick yourself into doing that works for you, right? And then really just getting clear about the general shape of my budget. Back in that time, when money was tighter, I had a much clear understanding of where my money was going in terms of, I mean, we would call it now like 50, 30, 20 framework, but really just what were my needs? And then how

how much can I spend on like just goofing off with my friends and going out to the clubs? But I had to do that homework and it felt really foreign. I didn't really know what I was doing because I didn't have the information, but I knew I just needed to be somewhat responsible for the first time of my life financially. And I love that you've still been able to be true to yourself because the things that you were doing that got you into that debt, you still do them because they bring you joy, but you just do it within your budget now, it sounds like, right? I'm not going out clubbing nearly as much as I was 12 years ago. Well, out with your friends. I know you like to hang out with your friends and eat and right? Yes, yeah. I'm still spending my money on social things, but I'm doing it

in a more measured way, I'll say. Yeah. Okay. Well, listeners, if you have any really embarrassing financial decisions, mistakes, experiences, horror stories, anything, please let us know we love to hear from you. Hit us up on the nerd hotline at 901-730-6373. You can text us or leave us a voicemail there. You can also email us at podcast at nervalet.com or leave us a comment on Spotify or YouTube.

In a moment, we'll be looking into questions people are asking on Reddit. And guess what? You got to stay tuned because we're reading comments too. All right. We've got more in a moment. Stay with us. We're back. And this is usually the part where we answer your money questions, except today we're going to be seeing what people are asking on Reddit. Longtime listeners of Smart Money know that I'm a huge Reddit stand. And I love scrolling through the personal finance and the Henry, which stands for High Earn or Not Rich yet subredits. And to see what people are posting about their personal finances. They get a lot of advice that's often not great. But I love just being nosy and looking through all of it. So we're going to explore that on today's episode. Elizabeth, are you a Reddit person? I love me some Reddit, and I have proof because I got the app. Okay, okay. I'm not

always poking around on the finance side of Reddit, but when I watch a show and no one else is watching the show, I'll go on Reddit. That's where my community is to hear the conversation about the show. I've been playing a lot of this video game called Pocopia. It's like Animal Crossing meets Pokemon, and the Pocopia subreddit is top notch. So highly recommend it even if you're not playing that game. That's right. But this is about money, so let's get back into personal finance stuff. Given that Reddit is on the internet and everyone there is a stranger, we don't have the people who posted these things who actually read their posts.

So we have our colleagues on the smart money team to read them for us. Here's the first one read by marketing guru Cody Goff. I know this is subjective and very different for everyone, but I would like to know what would make you too rich for this not rich yet suck? Is it based on income, net worth, an ability to do something? is it a dollar amount or relative to your spending? Some things I hope can go without saying, I think we can all admit that we are rich by much of the world's standards.

Your family's goals doesn't mean you aren't grateful for the things you have. Of course, being truly rich is about more than money. But we are talking about money here. Okay, so Sean, what does being rich mean to you? I love this subreddit because there's always such an interesting conversation. And for me, these conversations are so interesting because they tell you about what people value and what their values are. How people spend their money and what they consider rich tells me a lot about who you are as a person. What being rich means is so subjective.

I think a lot of folks imagine there's a dollar amount. But to me, it's really the ability to just live my life without being too concerned about how much I have in my bank account. I know my expenses are covered. I'm buying the fancy baguette at the grocery store. I'm not worried that is $5. So that's what being rich means to me is just having options and flexibility and a real lack of stress about finances. Yeah, I have a similar take on it. For me, being rich is about freedom. If I can buy back my time, it's very sentimental to me. And obviously it takes money to do that, which is the finance aspect, then I consider myself rich.

And I know people may argue me down because maybe that number is not $10 million. But for me, it's more about what I can do because I don't have to worry about money. Yeah, a lot of people get caught up on a certain dollar amount, like how much money they might be earning in a year. And they assume that you need to make six figures to be rich. And I think a lot of folks know that six figures won't go as far as it did even a few years ago. And then the median income in the U.S. is just $84,000 according to the U.S. Census. And that was in 2024. And frankly, that doesn't seem like a lot of money. So the median person isn't really rich by dollar standards. I agree. But I haven't really heard anyone say, hey, I make 80K and I'm rich or even lower six figures and I'm rich.

Except when I went to the career day at I old school and the kids asked me how much I make. And they were like, oh my God, you're rich. I was like not quite, but it brings to our point. I feel like when people see someone have access to a certain amount of money that they don't have access to that can't buy them the things that they value, right? They consider maybe that person. Something else I always want to talk about when we talk about what it means to be rich is this idea of non-financial wealth. and that's things that you have beyond your income or your net worth. And that's the people that love you in your life, your community, your hobbies, the things that bring you joy.

That is often more important than just the dollars you have in your account, in my opinion. I agree. And the older I get, I know there was some study floating around some years ago that said after you earn a certain amount, it's not going to change much in terms of like your satisfaction and your joy. So I feel like once you earn a certain amount, I mean, for me personally, there's only so many things I can buy, right, to help me feel fulfilled. So I don't think personally that I need millions to feel rich. I would love millions to feel rich. Because it's going to make everything else in my life a lot easier.

I agree. But that said, yeah, you should think about what the idea of enough is for you. How much money is going to be enough before you think, eh, maybe I don't need to be in this rat race as aggressively as I was before. Well, let's get into some of the Redditor comments because that's often the best part of any Reddit post is what these strangers are saying to one another. One comment that stands out to me is someone saying, I'd say a $10 million net worth is rich, but I don't think people are spending much different

if they have $3 million to say $8 million, which is interesting and rings kind of true, but also feels wildly speculative because you don't know what anyone's expenses are. I mean, there's a huge difference between $3 million and $8 million. I wonder where people get these numbers from. I know. I guess we'll never know unless we start replying their comments. Yes, although I'm a lurker. I'm not about to be talking with people on these posts.

Someone said when you can live an upper middle class lifestyle or better with no earned income, that means rich. Someone else said, when I stopped coming to the sub to look for advice. But to give it wise, yeah, when you graduate from this subreddit. Yeah, but I think the general consensus here is having passive income versus having to work for every dog. Exactly. Yeah. You can basically self-s sustain your life on dividends or returns from selling investments and not be tied to a nine to five job. That I think is what a lot of people consider being rich. Yeah. Let's get to the next post.

And the next one is Ju-Say, if I might say so myself. Our next Reddit post is read by our show producer, the fabulous Tess Vigland, who you always hear in the end credits. My 38-female soon-to-be ex-fiancee, 38-year-old male, convinced himself that an only fan's creator who he spends thousands of dollars on a month wants to date him. He's built up $50,000 in debt. He's been hiding from me and has been secretly planning to liquidate his 401K to try to go make things work with his girl. He's throwing away our life for a woman who he pays to like him. He fell in love with the stripper. How do I protect myself? I believe in Puerto Rico. We own the house outright. We're both on the deed. He hasn't done anything physical, but I have screenshots of his only fans' messages and chat GPT transcripts of him saying he's going to be. going to leave me. I don't want to sell my house. Edit. All of our other finances are independent. We've been together for 13 years living in this house we own for three. I'm going to buy him out of

his equity. He gets everything he wants. I get to start over. Okay. I saw this post and I knew I needed to include it in this because it's peak Reddit drama. There is some wild interpersonal conflict going on, some situations that you hope you never experienced but love to read about. scandalous. An AI only fans complex situation is going on here. What was your first thought when you read this, Elizabeth? I said, this is my speed. I'm kidding.

Obviously, I don't want to see. I hate what the Reddit poster is going through. I feel for them, yes. Because that's absolutely awful. But I have so many questions. How did you find out? When do you plan to tell your partner that you know? How are you going to leave?

But my initial thought was, you know, actually, Sean, you want to know my real thought when I read this? I was shocked that the Reddit poster wants to stay in that home. I mean, I would want to stay in that home too, I think. You put all the time and effort and money into buying this house and then some guy that you're dating falls in love, quote unquote, with someone that he doesn't even know. And you want to leave that house? No. This is my house. You get out. No, no. So you're going to learn something about me today. And that's that I can be petty. And every, almost every single thing that my exes have given me, many of them I have thrown away.

I don't want to feel your energy. I don't want those memories. I'm deleting all the pictures. So I would not want to stay in a house that has memories of someone who cheated on me and in such a terrible way. I feel like it would make it hard for me to move on. This is obviously cheating and it's an emotional affair in a sense. But it's like not even really cheating because it's just a projection of a relationship. For me, because it's not as real and like things didn't really go down in the house in a traditional sense when it comes to cheating, I would just cleanse everything.

hire someone to bring some sage or something and just make it feel renewed and keep my equity. That's not going to help me with all the memories, Alicia, I need to do. Because I'm remembering our memories in the house, too, every time I'm in that house. I don't want the house. But the issue seems to be, this guy doesn't really have a lot of money and he probably wouldn't be able to pay you out of your equity. So do you, would you be willing to take that big of a loss? That's so hard. Okay, fine. So in that case, I am going to stay in the house. I'm going to get what I can from my cheating partner. And then I'm selling that house and getting a new one.

There you go. That's the smart move. Yeah. I mean, because long term, don't you want to move on with your life too? I do. I wouldn't be moving out immediately. But I would want to have the upper hand in the immediate aftermath of whatever's going down in this relationship. But this reader here, this poster, is really concerned about how to get the X off of the house. So in that case, they probably want to look into something called a quit claim. for the deed, which would be able to allow them to sever ties, you would need the exes, I guess, presumably X's consent to do this, but that's going to be likely the easiest way to actually separate this joint ownership, which it really goes back to how difficult it can be when you share ownership over property with someone that you're not married to. It can be really thorny to get out of it. So a lesson for people who might be considering this, try to have this exit strategy mapped out before you even get into the situation. Okay, one comment that I really like that resonated with me as someone said, if you haven't already, place a freeze on your credit,

so he can't open a new mortgage slash credit card slash bank accounts using your info. That would be a really smart move, but it also presumes that your ex is organized enough to know your social security information, but still not a bad idea for anyone. Just freeze your credit people, please. But do take steps to safeguard yourself because someone who is being called out for cheating with an only fan's creator and talking to AI about it, they might not be the smartest. They also might feel retaliatory and embarrassed when you do confront them with this. So take some steps to protect yourself ahead of time. That is a good point. And we don't know the nature of this relationship if she's in danger. Like you said, sometimes people become enraged when you leave. So it is definitely a good

idea for them to be careful and have a good exit strategy. Yeah. And also they may just want to go somewhere else for a period of time and get out of that house. Like go stay with a friend and go get a hotel room. That's going to probably cost some money. Make sure you have some cash set aside or can at least cover this if you're putting it on a credit card. That's right. And I see a lot of people giving responsible advice on Reddit. Go you guys telling the person to consult with a lawyer because sometimes we try to do these things on our own and you can get yourself into a lot of financial mess. So definitely speak to a professional as well. One commenter asked, how much would his half of the house cost? Could you lowball him and buy him out? I like the idea of trying to get a bargain with this. Please lowball this guy because he's already done some shady things and he probably just wants to get out of the situation too. Exactly. And like you said, maybe ain't got a lot of money. He, they, them, right? They'll take what they can get.

Exactly. Here's our next post also from the Henry subreddit, as read by our head of multimedia, Hillary Georgie. This does not have to be anything super significant or really even that serious, but curious to know if there are habits you have had in the past that you can now change since you have money. It seems like most people on the sub grew up middle or lower class, and I know that can carry over some habits of frugality. All right, Elizabeth, I got it here at first. What are you your frugal habits? This is such a hard one for me because if I had to describe myself, I would not call myself frugal, okay?

I'm not a penny pan-pancher. I love to spoil myself and I find any excuse to treat myself. Well, does this count? So when I'm at the grocery store, I think in the past, you know, groceries are high. Well, they're still high. But if I see chicken brass, I love chicken brass for 405 and then I see one for 395, I'm getting the one for 395. Is that frugal? Does that count?

I guess so. For me, whenever I see the slightly cheaper meat, I'm wondering what's wrong with it? I'm wondering. I find the more expensive one. How can I shave my grocery bill? There you go. But now I would say, this is a bad example just to show you how unfrugal I am, but now I would say I'm not so hung up on the scent difference with the chicken breast. And I'm just going to buy it because I have to eat. A girl's got to eat, right?

Like you, I'm also not super frugal. Groceries is where I can maybe save the most amount of money. and I really just do that by shopping at Costco a lot, which I do because I am lazy. I like buying things in bulk, not having to go back to the store all the time. But I'm not penny pinching. I'm not cutting coupons. I'm not shopping at the cheapest stores. I think that it shows that you can be successful and save money and meet your financial goals and not be cheap.

Yes. I know. Not that being cheap and being frugal are exactly the same thing. But yeah, I just, I've never been frugal, which was often bad when I was younger. and now I view it as treating myself. That's it. Which is me just rationalizing my behavior. I will say there's been ebbs and flows, right, since my income has increased over the years.

I did not used to want to take myself on vacation before or pay for trips when I was earning less because I was prioritizing saving. So maybe a little frugal there, but now I will pay for the trip. And before I would pay for the trip without sinking fund. But you're going to be proud of me, Sean. I've opened a travel sinking fund. I'm so proud of you, Elizabeth. And I've opened a sinking fund for buying gifts for my friends and family. That's great.

And for your own birthday? Well, that kind of is muddled in the birthday fund. We're getting there. Tried not to have 12. Gifts for loved ones includes yourself. You're a loved one of yourself. I am. I am.

But yeah, so that's probably an area where maybe I was a little more frugal and not so much. Now than thinking about it, I used to do this one thing to save money on gas because I have a car that takes premium. So I would drive constantly in eco mode for my first five years of having this car. And then once I paid it off, I just thought, why am I not driving this thing as fast and as fun as possible? So now I don't use the ECOMode anymore. But it saved me maybe $10 a year. Not that much.

I'm not going to sit up here and be like, wow, that's amazing. It's $10. I know. It was silly. It helped me feel better about my spending. And that's often what frugal tips can do is you might not be saving a ton, but it helps you feel better. But in this post, there was some comments that I thought were creative and also things that I just wouldn't do ever. One, someone said, this is the person who actually posted first. They said the thing I've

broken as of recently is getting a really short haircut just to, quote, get my money's worth. I would dislike my haircut for the first three weeks and then grow it out three weeks longer than I would like just so I only had to go in every four-ish months. So basically they're saying they don't like how they look most of the time just to save however much on a haircut. I cannot relate, no shade, but I can't relate with that. But wow, that's dedication. That's sacrifice. Yeah. Definitely. Oh my gosh. Someone said refusing to throw away pillows no matter how flat and yellow it gets.

Yuck. I'm not judging, but I'm judging. That's nasty. How much are pillows? We can create a sinking fund for pillows. Pillows are not cheap, I'll say. I got some from Quince. This is not a sponsor post from Quince, but I did get some from Quince.

And they were like $100 each. They're down pillows because I'm usually like that. I never seen a pillow that expensive. I usually go to Ross or Marshalls. I'll tell you. Okay. One person said a frugal habit they kicked. was being cheap with stuff that actually affected their daily life.

I used to delay buying decent shoes, a proper mattress, even replacing things that were clearly worn out. I'd squeeze every last bit out of them just to feel like I was being smart with money. In reality, I was just lowering my quality of life over $50 to $100. Yes. That is, you know, that reminds me of something my stepmom once said, because you were talking about earlier the quality of me. And she said to me, never be cheap about what you put in your body.

because that has a direct correlation with your health. And now there are lots of arguments around whether people have access, right, to clean food and can afford it. So sometimes people are just buying what they can afford. But if you can, in my opinion, you should not be cheap about things that relate to your health. So I relate with that. Things in your body or on your body in the case of clothing. You need some comfortable shoes because that can mess up your back if you're not wearing. Oh, this person is wild.

Okay. They said, I stopped looking at prices on restaurant menus. I now order what I want to eat or drink. I still feel vaguely guilty about it, but I get over it pretty soon. So you don't even know what bill is coming to you. You're just going off of vibes. Once that drink hits their mouth, they're like, I'm over it. I don't care about it anymore.

That's so wild. Okay, one thing that someone said is they stop feeling bad about guilt over small purchases. Yes, the $8 day latte can add up, but I don't go to coffee shops daily. So when I do, I don't sweat it if my Starbucks order hits $10. There's this old trope around not having that daily latte. Yes, if you're spending $200 a month on Starbucks every single morning, then sure, that's going to affect your budget. But just enjoy your coffee people. Now, I can relate with this, not thinking twice when setting the thermostat because that bill be high, okay?

And that's what's currently going on in my household. I'm very frugal. Now I'm remembering frugal things with how I use my heating and my air conditioning. And my mom is here now in my house. I want her to be comfortable. And let me tell you that AC is on all the time. And I'm scared to look at my bill. You live in Texas.

It's so hot there. It's a matter of survival for you. We're transitioning from winter to spring. So it's bearable for me, but I don't want my mom to be uncomfortable. So my bill's going to be higher while she's here. Yeah. I mean, for me, I just try to keep the windows and doors open as much as I can when the weather is nice. And even if it's like 80 degrees and my husband is sweating, I'm like, I need the fresh air.

and I mean, he pays our utility bills. So it's on him if he wants to cover that AC. But I don't know. I just love fresh air. And it's cheaper. It's free. It is. It is.

But I don't like the flies that come in my house with the... You got to have a screen. Oh, okay. Fair. Fair, fair. Buy a nice screen. Don't be cheap. Well, our next post being read from the personal finance subreddit is from our creative producer, Shireone.

So I was talking with my girlfriend and she told me that she's sitting at about 70K doing nothing in a standard savings account. She's 27 and works as a teacher. She has a pension through IPERs and access to 403B, but no employer match. She doesn't have any other savings account yet. Here's what I'm thinking so far. Keep about 20K, which is six months of expenses for her in a high-yield savings account as an emergency fund, max out a Roth IRA for 2025 plus 2026, 14,500 total, and put 15 to 25K in a brokerage account, and finally contribute about 15 to 25% of her income in a Roth for $4,500 total.

or 3B and live off the extra savings. Normally, I'd say traditional contributions would be better because she's low income, but the funds are already close tax. I'd like her to max out to 403B, but that might be too aggressive for her and a big shift. I'm open to any other suggestions on how to put her money to work. Thanks. I really liked this post because it gets into so many questions around when do you give people advice, unsolicited financial advice,

and when do you mind your own business, even if you see someone who's maybe missing a bunch of big opportunities, what we would see is maybe low-hanging fruit, what would you do if you were in the situation? If you were dating someone, they had all this money just doing nothing in a standard savings account and you see they could be investing it or maybe maxing out their retirement accounts and they're just not. How do you broach that? The honest answer is, I'll be given unsolicited advice. I don't tell them exactly what to do, like what to invest. in and you know, but I will put some suggestions out there, especially if I see red flags in how they're managing their money. I also direct them to resources like nerd wallet or YouTube videos.

It can be tricky when you're in a relationship with someone, right? You want to help them and you want them to flourish financially. But I think you have to be careful and tow the line with telling them exactly what to do with their money. And I don't know that I would want my partner asking a whole Reddit community what I should do with my money either. I would be more upset about them going to strangers on the internet than just having the conversation with me. A lot of it comes down to who the person is that you're working with, what your relationship is with them, what their relationship with their own money is, because if money is a big stressor to them, bombarding them with these ideas of like maxing out of Roth IRA and opening a brokerage account

could cause them to just shut down or feel like you're imposing your will upon them, which could make a rift in your relationship, which is the opposite of what this guy wants, it seems. Yeah, but I mean, I'm sure the intentions are well because, you know, they could have been like, oh, do what you want with your money and I don't care. But obviously he wants to put his partner in a better financial situation. Yeah. So I'm just trying to think about what I would do in that situation. I think I would probably have had a number of money conversations before this one to understand their values and what they want. And then if I learn about $70,000, which is a lot of money, I want to know.

why that was in there. Because to me, that sounds kind of like money hoarding where they've just been saving, saving, savings as kind of a defense mechanism and not putting it to use as we would typically expect people to do. So you want to know why they're doing that and then how they can maybe use this money to help them feel secure, which I assume is why they have all this cash in the first place. When I think about that, I do wonder if they also have some fear around investing is one of them as well. Are they scared of the stock market? Do they not know what to do with their money. So they're just saving a whole bunch of cash. Do they think an apocalypse is coming? So they're like, I need to have as much cash as possible. It is important to know what their values are,

especially before you give them financial advice and tell them how to spend the money, you know. Okay, well, let's get to what the internet strangers had to say about this one. This is interesting what someone says. Is she saving for a house or other large expense? If so, then keeping 70K in cash in a high-yield savings account is not a bad idea. I don't know if that's great advice because you don't even know if she has enough in her emergency fund and then 70 can and then also what's the timeline even if they do want to buy a house what if she wants to buy a house 10 years from now I don't think then a high yield savings account is necessarily the best vehicle for that what you just mentioned gets me to thinking about goals

that's something that's lacking from this conversation too is what the girlfriend actually wants to do with her money over the long term maybe she loves just having a ton of cash around yes I would love to see that in a high old savings account instead of just a standard account but maybe she has something that she's going to be putting this money toward like a home in the next year. Maybe she wants to buy a car. Just what does she actually want and how is her money helping her get there or not? I wonder if the poster even asked that or if the poster just swooped into action and was like, this is what you should do with your money versus.

Let me mansplain your money to you. I didn't want to say it, but that's what I was thinking. Is there a little control happening here? Does she have a say in what's happening with her own money? Obviously, she has to execute the things on her own because they're not married. and I don't know. I don't know what their dynamics are. But yeah, I wonder if she's actually in control of her situation or if she knows what she wants herself.

Because there's this assumption underlying this post that she doesn't know what she's doing and she's not being savvy when that might be the opposite of what's going on. Right. He's just making these radical assumptions. Mm-hmm. Okay. Someone is checking the poster a little bit. They said, I'd start by recognizing that she is your girlfriend, not your wife and to tread carefully when trying to advise someone you're dating about how to handle their money. You are not in control, and you should not be trying to be in control.

You better tell the poster. Thank you, external self-1337. Great advice. That is good advice. Because I'm a proud feminist, I got to read this comment. Women, for example, have been telling each other to have their own savings in the event that their husbands suddenly trade them in for a new model. Like an only fan's AI robot girlfriend. You see, you're connecting the dots.

You're connecting the dots. And then they said, since they aren't even married, the O.P might want to just let things be the way they are. Mind your business. Mind your business and your own finances. That $70,000 could be just the most extravagant FU funds we've ever seen. I was just going to say, if they're living together, she needs an escape fund in case, yeah, he decides to leave her for her only fans model. I love how we're just making up all these scenarios based on this limited code. People are wild.

You never know what people are going to do. Let's move things along here. We have one more post. and this is from the Henry subreddit and is read by the director of content marketing, Drew Prescott. Here we go. My kid is three years, three months old. His 529 just hit 70K.

Assuming normal market returns, if I keep my contributions consistent, he'll have about 500K in nominal dollars when he goes to college, maybe more since grandparents want to start their own account too. But they are flaky, so I wouldn't count that money. I want to pay for private college. How bad is the penalty if we end up with a few hundred thousand that isn't needed? So, Elizabeth, you have a $529 for your son.

Are you going to have $500,000 in that account by the time iOS 18? I hope not. That's way too much. There's so many other things we do that. And as much as I love my baby, I want to live my best life too. So I might take some of that and go on a vacation or something. But $500,000 sounds great, but it sounds like entirely too much to be in a $529 account. Even if you're going to the most expensive private school, I looked into this and it's probably going to be about $100,000 too much, even for, again, a very fancy private school.

In about 15 years, four years of private college education, which OP wants, would cost around $400,000 with the current rate of inflation, which is, again, a lot, a lot of money. But we don't know how much college is really going to cost in 15 years. I worry about what else they could be doing with that money. Does it all need to be in a 529? Well, the only thing I think of right now I have one kid. Who knows? Maybe I'll have another. I don't know. But the point is, we don't know how many kids this poster has, but they've said one or how many they might have. But if they were to have, let's say, another child or two more, you know, those funds could be given to another child.

That's something that could be done with them. But I guess you don't want to plan based on what might happen and we just focus on what's happening right now, which is that you have one kid. And some of that money could be better served in a brokerage account for that child that they can use in the future. And one really great benefit of 529s is that you can change the beneficiaries pretty easily. So you're right. It could go to another relative of some sort. And also there's been a big change in the past couple of years around the SAFE 2.0 Act where you can roll up to $35,000 from a $529 into a Roth IRA. There are a number of restraints around that. That $35,000 is a lifetime limit. And when you think of it that way, especially compared to what the poster has in the account already, that's not a lot, is it? No.

Let's say you have 500K and the child spends, I don't know, $200,000 on college. They can only roll $35,000 out of the $300,000. And then you better hope you have another beneficiary lined up because if you take money out of a $529 for a non-qualified expense, you're going to be paying a 10% penalty. Yep. You're going to be paying income tax. And you can avoid that by putting money into a taxable brokerage account or just an IRA, your 401K. There may just be a better vehicle for all of this money.

than the 529. I love what the parent is doing. They're looking out for their kid and also for themselves to avoid debt in the future. It just seems like maybe not the wisest decision. Or the poster could go to school themselves. Like, I don't know, 10 times and get 10 more degrees to spend the rest of the money. Yeah. Well, let's see what the Redators had to say about this. I saw one comment that stood out to me for just being plain wrong. Someone said, I'm bullish on 529s over the long run and tend to err on overfunding. You can already put $36,000 into a Roth without penalty and that number will go up. Also, the qualified expense rules are already favorable and will get softer over time. So there's just a lot of erroneous information here.

Just making stuff up. Yeah, it's $35,000 that you can put in. And that number is not tied to inflation. It's not expected to go up. There's nothing saying that's going to happen. And there's also nothing to indicate that qualified expense rules are going to get softer over time. This is just made up. Jargon. You know, and that's why it's important, even though if you like to poker on on Reddit, you got to go read. You still got to go read. Don't just take strangers advice online. But listen, I know you're having an educational moment, but somebody said, you need more kids, bro. Okay. They'd have to save maybe a lot more than 500,000, depending on how many kids they have. But yeah, they've got to make it worth it, right? So with your 529, Elizabeth, how are you thinking

about how much to fund an ongoing basis? Do you have that number of, okay, IOS 8? So in 10 years, how much do you want to have in there? Is that something you've thought about? He's leaving my house in 10 years. Cramer every day. Crying and sobering at the same time. Okay, no, but really, I just use the rough estimate. So first of all, I use the compound interest calculator. I believe there are ones for 529s that you can use to see how the interest is going to grow over time.

And I also just looked at the average rate of colleges and try to factor in some inflation. I did some girl math. But honestly, I just have a rough estimate. I think my goal is just to set him up for success the best that I can, right? So even if I was only able to save $100,000 for him to go to college, that's a hundred thousand less exactly, that he has to save or rather take out in loans to pay for his education. So my goal is just to save as much as possible because I have to save for myself too. I'm a late bloomer when it comes to retirement savings. I only started 31 or 37 now. So I am still playing catch up in some ways. So I'm just doing the best I can with what I have. Yeah, I think it's aspirational to try to set yourself up and your kids up for success when it comes to college savings. But there's like a bootstrappy part of me that's like, I didn't have a 529. So this kid's lucky to get anything.

That's right. And I didn't either. I told you my mom gave me an empty, I love you mom, but she gave me an empty pocketbook when I turned 18. There was no money in the account. So I started from. Wait, did she literally give you an empty pocket book? Yes. I actually love that.

But it was cute. I think I still have it somewhere. It's very sweet in a way. It's like, here's your beginning. Yeah. From when you were a baby? Yeah. This is precious.

Zero pounds inside, but hey, sentimental nonetheless. Yeah. So to your point, I will be starting with way more than I had, and it will support his education somehow. Okay. Well, let's see what other random people on Reddit are saying about this. Someone said, I would just leave the 70K and stop contributing, then contribute the remainder into a brokerage.

You never know where if they'll go to college. And while there are more ways to get the money now than before, it would suck to pull out hundreds of thousands of dollars with a penalty, to your point. That's true. And I just think about 5-20 rounds again is you can use them for trade schools. So even if the kid doesn't go to college or a private school like the parent hopes, I mean, how much control do you really have over where your kid is going? You don't.

Right? Hopefully not. I know some people, I had a friend in high school whose parents wouldn't pay for any college at all unless they became an accountant. And I felt very bad for that. Yeah. Meanwhile, I went to some like hippie-dippy liberal art school and just have a million dollars in loans. But hey, worked out okay for me. But you loved me.

I loved every minute, yeah. So I do like the idea. of this commenter saying that you can put the rest into a brokerage account because that gives you flexibility. And while 529 accounts do have triple tax benefits, sometimes, that's not the only way to say for college. You could put it in a brokerage account and you could still get that money growing and you can take it out without having to worry about penalties. And if the person does go to trade school or hippie school or art school or whatever else and doesn't end up needing all that money, they can still use it without having to worry about paying penalties on the money.

Yeah, you want to find that balance of being able to fund what you want in future while still being flexible no matter what the outcome is. Yeah, that's right. Okay, one short and sweet comment, don't let it hamstring your retirement. That's what I think is missing from the situation too is we don't know how much they're actually saving. It seems like the poster has a decent amount of money, but that's just a huge consideration as well. Like you were saying, you need to look out for yourself so that you can have your funded retirement and not just be so hung up on what's happening to your kids, which of course is important. It is important. And I think I try to focus a lot on how I raise IO as a person, trying to raise him to be a hardworking person, someone who knows how to manage money.

He listens to the podcast and he's eight. All these little things to make sure that he can be self-sufficient and I can be confident that he can make his own money, even if he does have to take out a partial student loan. He's currently doing really good in track. If you see this when you're 18 and you get a track scholarship, good job, Iyo. So, you know, we'll work on scholarships and other things to make sure that he has as little debt as possible. Yeah. And one last thing I'll leave OP with if they ever listen to or see this on YouTube is to talk with the financial advisor. If you have $70,000 in a $529 and your kid is three years and three months old, you're doing pretty well. You can probably pay for at least one consultation to get some projections about where your retirement savings are going, where they will be in the future. Same with the $529. Just get a plan. Such a great point. I guess I don't think a lot about, even for me, using a financial advisor, even just for a $529 strategy. or college saving strategy, for the good point.

And that is all we have for this juicy gossip financial episode. Remember, listener, we are here to answer your money questions, and we want you to send them to us. You don't have to go and start posting in Reddit and let, you know, strangers answer your listener questions when we can do it here. You can call us or text us on the nerd hotline at 901-730 N-E-R-D. That's 901-730-6373-3-3. You can also email us at podcast at nerdwallet.com. Follow smart money on your favorite podcast app like Spotify, Apple Podcast, IHeartRadio, all of them.

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And a big thank you to Nerdwallet's editors for all their help. And with that said, until next time, turn to The Nerves.