Nightcap - BEST of UNC STORIES Part 2: Type of BABY Unc was like + Rookie HAZING flashbacks

Episode Date: July 23, 2026

Shannon Sharpe, Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson, and Joe "King Iso" Johnson bring you the Best of Unc Stories on Nightcap! Relive some of Shannon Sharpe's funnies personal stories, including reminiscing about the legendary rookie pranks from his Denver Broncos days. Subscribe to Nightcap presented by PrizePicks so you don’t miss out on any new drops! Download the PrizePicks app today and use code SHANNON to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup! Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/NI...0:00 - Viral IG mishap 0:00 - Sterling Sharpe on Unc as a baby 58:00 - Shannon cracks up reminiscing on his best rookie pranks from his Bronco days  (Timestamps may vary based on advertisements.) #ClubSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together.

Breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Man, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song about it. Well, I thought you were going to write a song.

I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. A.O. Rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports,

a new podcast from Together and I Heart Women's Sports. We're breaking down the biggest headlines. Naomi Osaka, showing out. Shout out to you, Naomi. The viral moments. I've been obsessed with Kashan Rock's boxing journey. She looks good. Her combos are swift.

And the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports. On the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcast. or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Nick Tatoro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue,

the longest yard, or Spike Lease Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, delivering happiness with Nick Titoro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone, from Seth Rollins. What are you doing, my belt?

To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Tituro. It's called happiness, delivering happiness. And many. many more. Open your free high-heart radio app. Search Delivering happiness with Nick Duturo. And listen now.

This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week, the news gets worse. The world gets crazier. And Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem. Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men. Do better or do less so I don't have to do so much. I'm Yamanika, and I'm out. Listen to you're the problem with Yamanika on the Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. So, you know, Shannon, well, you know, as the baby, Shannon, I am probably more proud of what he turned into because Joe, he wasn't supposed to be, he ain't supposed to be there. He ain't supposed to be where he is right now.

He ain't supposed to be as successful as he is right now. He ain't supposed to be as articulate as he is, even though sometimes he get his words mixed up and he gets excited and they don't come out right. It's okay. I know what he's. I know what he talks. Hey, old Joe, I know what he's saying. I know what he's saying. But he was for that time, he got enough of what that time was, man.

It's, it's, it is. And these stories are, these are. just a few of the stories. I mean, when my, my grandfather was going to kill his own brother over, over my brother. That's how he thought about Shannon. That's how he was basically my grandfather's baby, even though my uncle James is his baby boy. That's how he thought about Shannon.

So he was going to kill him. No, he didn't pray about it. He's going to kill his brother over Shannon. Yeah, he was going to kill his brother over Shannon. That's, that's how. And he. left, Ocho, he left, take this out. He left his lady. You tell you, he left.

He never came back. And when my grandfather died, he wouldn't go in the church. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Now, I'm talking about that, it's kind of funny. You know, as spiritual as they were, man, look, when they hated, they hate it.

When they were angry, but there was no, I'm sorry. Ain't no coming back from that. You know, because. They hold them. Boy, what you're saying, man. Hey, uh, yeah, my, my, I'm trying to think. Grady wasn't like that. No, Grady was total.

They were the total. I don't know how they got together because they were the total opposite. Now, granted would get mad. But she wasn't like, nothing like. Yeah, my grandpa, yeah. Papa, you never saw him without that 45 in the right pocket. You never saw it anywhere. Straight razor, too.

He's carried straight raises too. Yeah. Hey, boy, hey, two things a man should always carry a wallet and a straight razor or a gun. That's the two things. A wallet or a straight razor or a gun. I was five, I was five years old, Ocho and had a wallet and had a bill put in my back pocket. And because we were robbing him, he didn't know it. He started carrying a chain on his wallet because we were taking money out to buy ice cream.

I've already, hey, I'm telling y'all this. I've already asked. I've already asked for forgiveness. So I'm telling y'all, as y'all know, I've already asked. I already asked God for forgiveness. But, man, you know what, Joe, old Joe, fellas, I will say this. You know, a lot of people can pinpoint one or two things. I don't think I'm here this way, you know, getting the chance to play golf all over the country,

getting a chance to enjoy my NFL friends, my celebrity friends, without that upbringing. I don't think I'm here I don't think that that discipline of I'm we've been working you know because in the Bible it says you know do things not for your human master but for your heavenly one but I've been working for God all my life because the way Barney Porter

had you do stuff oh God had to be pleased with the work we did God was thoroughly pleased with the work we did because that's how we was raised there wasn't a number how much how much do we make for catching chickens

$1,000? So if there was 14,000 chickens in there, let me, me, Shannon, Arnelle, Eugene, Lany, Robbie Bernard. So the seven of us had, you know, 10, had 12, 13, 14. Every now and then we get an 18. We love getting 18, 19,000 chicken house because that's $19 in our pocket. But, but we, we getting up in there, bro, and a couple of the older guys from Clxton were catchers. So they were catch.

So the good night. old Joe, Joe, a good night is you carrying six, three in each hand. Now, you want to catch hell, you had that night where you got four in one hand and three in the other. And I'm talking about you like, you know, 12, 13, 14, 15, bro. I'm like, weight strong has never bothered me. That ain't never been a problem. But that's that upbringing, man, because you didn't go in there going, oh, man. I hope Uncle James or I hope Uncle James or I hope Earl don't come tonight man

No, I bet we were like we need to get it we need to get this money Yeah, we plan on getting you know because we used to get jeans back in the day But they were all blue they were all the same size they were all the same length So regardless if you had six pair of jeans they were identical So you didn't wear them out So so man Joe I'm telling you. But we call chickens. That's after you don't work in the field.

I mean, you don't win cross the basketball. We were. You don't got there, seven, got in the field at seven, got home at five. You ate, hey, we go play basketball, sit back down, because they're going to come get you when it gets on. Now, we ain't playing. Now, Ojo, Joe, three, not. Blackshare, by day. Yeah, he ain't playing basketball down at the direct.

That's me and him out in the yard working on our game. That's me and him playing. Yeah. And then because, you know, back in the day, you had to wait until it got dark to kick. So chickens with all guys. in one spot. So, you know, we getting picked up at 9, 9.30, depending on where we're going, getting picked up at 9, 30, 10 o'clock at night. And then we in the house, in the chicken house about 11.

And we need me get up out of there by 1. 1.30. We need to be in the car on the truck, you know, getting back to the house. We got 7 o'clock. We got a 7 o'clock. Mr. Joe, the Tatum brothers. Are we going to go in the back of the fields again? Or we was doing doing school too. Yeah. We had to get, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So that mean y'all, y'all had to be sleepy in school, man.

Well, Shannon was, as you can tell, Shannon was sleeping. He was sleeping. I was not sleep, Ocho. But the thing is, man, and I'm going to say this again, when you don't know any better, that's all right. That norm is okay. And that norm is not hard.

That norm is not difficult. I don't ever remember us complaining about it being too hot. I mean, because you got to understand. Into tobacco field, you got a long sleep. You got on blue jeans and long sleeves in the chicken house. And the hat on your head to keep the talking about it. And the chicken house, you got on blue jeans and long sleeves. So everything.

Keep the chicken. Yeah. So, you know, when you don't know any better, that ain't nothing wrong with this. Because, I mean, we, because when my grandfather was alive, we were working for Barney Porter. The fact that he was feeding and clothing us, as he used to say all the time, that's, that's your pay right there. That's your pay. Yeah. You know, it didn't.

They sound like Denzel and fencing. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly right. Yes. He's, that's what he said. Yes.

That's a good one. You're not going to get no pay. I feed you. And he's. And clothing you and put a roof on your head. You know what you said something earlier. You said you're proud of me because I wasn't supposed to be here. Tell them what Grant used to tell me every day.

Which part? Because first of all, somebody was going to get him in that glob of mouth of his. So there was somebody. he'll end up dead and he'll kill him. Yes. Somebody going to kill him. And then, you know, and even, you know, I'm going to say it. But when he, you know, his senior year, when he, he was all this and all that.

And, you know, they weren't calling or coming to see him. I wasn't worried about him because I was like that this, you know, and I wasn't in college to go to the NFL. I was in college because that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to play pro football and that's what I had to do. But Joe, which is really, fellas, which is really crazy is when I got drafted, bro, the draft came on and the phone ran. So, you know, I'm in the car headed to the airport. When he got drafted, the first day went by and we were over at our good friend,

Melva and Jim Bowler, Peter and Michael Bowler's mom and great family. I just saw Jim and Melva the other day. As a matter of fact, Jim, John told me to tell you, Hello. We were over at their house. So when we get back to my house, he's disappointed. And he's hurt. So we get up the next morning, we go over to the University of South Carolina to work out.

I'm like, bro, let's just go get it in. So we end up working out. And the whole time I'm driving down there, he's just telling me, but I just want a chance, man. I just want a chance, man. So he's gone from, I should be in the first three rounds to I just want a chance. Well, to me, I didn't care because I'm like, bro, you're going to live like I live, whether you make it or not. You know, I know you want to play and you want to establish your own.

I got that. But, bro, you see what I'm driving? You already drive? Hold on. He had a Mercedes before I did. So he was in the NFL. And, you know, since we put in each other's business in the street. Bro, I pay Shannon's bills in the NFL until my daughter.

was born. So he was in the NFL and I was... Man, what I told you by Droson is, it ain't nobody asked you that. Hey, I just get... Hey, I told you, bro, you started it. That's why Libby don't want you writing a book

because, see, living would have to come out with all this. And you know the first story Libby going to tell is you stealing the ring saying it's your fire truck. You're trying to get mad at the kidigart. Joe, you don't have to help us with the A. But Ferlwomen.

I really, I didn't care. You know, at that time, I know, you know, I know how important it was to him, but I didn't care. Because I was like, brother, where I live, however I'm living, you're going to live the exact same way. Brother, this ain't me living this way and you're going to be over in a mobile home. And there ain't nothing wrong with a mobile home if that's how you prepared to live. But I was just going to make sure that just because he was my brother and what we had gone through together, bro, whatever I got you, and I mean, he'll tell you. But I had the first SL convertible in the state of South Carolina.

My brother wrecked it. No, he did. They told him what you know. He didn't. Hey, them bad he was going by, Ochoa. He didn't look. Hey, fellas, he didn't wrecked. He jumped, y'all.

Is what he said. What? He told me that out. What he did was is he ran into someone and hit the Mercedes emblem and snatched the Mercedes emblem out of the grier. So he calls me and he goes, hey, man, I, I junkyard your stuff, man. Wait, what? Yeah, bro, I junkyard your stuff, man.

What are you talking about? Your car, man, I wrecked it. You wrecked my new car? I said, well, that's all right, bro. We get it. You know, you all right? Yeah, yeah, I'm good. Well, you coming back?

No, no, I'm going to stay down here for a few more days. I was like, boy. You kept driving it? Yeah. What? Man, I'm in a convert of air cell. Brand new. Man, hey.

Hey, Joe, Ocho. And they're sitting on the back cover like there in the parade, too. Hey, Joe, Joe, hey, man. Hey, so, so, well, man, you know, just come on back. You know, you coming back today? No, man, I'm gonna stay a few more days Man, I'm just gonna come back when it's over Because, you know, I'm gonna come back when it's old

Oh, you're gonna come back when the party over? Black Holly spring break? Okay. And did that lead right? Hey, Joe, didn't that lead right in the pre-knick? See, he ain't tell you, but he's with me with pre-knit, though. He's all right, man, this is a tomato. Yeah, I can't, hey, Joe.

It might not be true. I was like, hey, boy, yeah. Mm-mm. I'm building a name for myself And I don't need my name over here I didn't need my name over here But now Joe Hey growing up with this dude man

It was Hey Joe he told a lie And I like to call out lies He said he beat the time He beat me in basketball He ain't He ain't ever beat me in basketball I beat him Joe

I beat him Joe Hey hey hold on hold on Oh, G. How bad you used to do it, Mike? Okay. So, Joe, okay, so you ISO, Joe, I used to ISO back in the day now. So, hey, Joe, Joe, I was bigger than him. So, of course, I'm going in the post. So just so I could, we could make the game go longer, I kind of can't play him hard. So what he figured out was, if he, if he, if he, if he, if he, if he, if he, score first, I'm going to win the game.

So what he started doing was he would score and then run in the house and be like, man, I beat that big old joke. I can't believe that big Joe. I'm beat him. So now, Joe, I'm hot. So now I got to go in.

You know, I got to go in the house, Joe. Right. I got the, I got. Oh, Joe. Hey, oh Joe, you know, he, he, so he, I got to let him score. because now I got to work on my moods because we ain't playing

organized sports in high school. We only playing me and him. So I got to let him score, so he's score, one nothing. So, you know, he's going to take it out. He dribbled it two times. He take off running to the house. I beat that big old Joker.

I can't believe it. That joke was sorry. I said, boy, that joke is stront. You ain't going to never play on anybody team. Joe, what that joke, used to have me so hot. Did I lose, Joe? I throw the ball in the hog pen.

He's going there to tell granted like a, like a towel to tell him. That boy threw the ball in the hog pen. Y'all, y'all done? Your granny would be like, y'all done playing? Well, no, he threw the ball in the hog pen. You know what? Somebody going to either hit that boy in his old big mouth, or they're going to kill it. That's what they're going to.

No, granny, I'm going to kill him. I'm going to be the one to kill him. Hey, hey, when you think back to them days, bro, like those are like golden days, golden times when you think back because they mold you into the people who y'all are today because I totally understand those type of... You know, in the times, especially in the last year or so, having to go back and think about, you know, us growing up,

they were so special, Joe, because at the time, you're thinking this is all we're going to ever be able to do. do. You know, we're never going to be able to play organized sports. You know, we're never going to be able to really fulfill what talent we think we got. So, you know, man, let me tell you, you want to see some moves. You should have been there on 4th Sunday when all of us are together playing dodge ball or kickball or softball. Man, look, you talk about athletic. Bro. bro, athletic was, I mean, it was an understatement for us just because it was one, it was, it was literally once a month that we got a chance to do it. And, you know, those times are real special because you're like, this is my NBA championship.

This is my Super Bowl. This is my MLB championship. You know, this is the, this is the best it's going to get. So this is going to have to hold on for a month. So we got to put together this. type of energy and effort because it's got a hold of us for a month. So, yeah, it was very special times back then. Very special. Man, man. You realize it's now that we sit down and we call

and we think back to bending those saplings and granted would say, boy, y'all stop bending them saplings. Them trees, you're going to break them. They ain't going to be able to grow. And we're sitting on there. We come on and say, you better have to take them clothes off. You got red bulls going, you're probably.

And that we sit back and think about it, Joe, and no choke. It's like, and every time, and like he said, you know, we fight and everything. And I would tell my grandma, my grandma never punished him. She said, son, it takes. We never really falls. It was usually two licks past. I hit you.

You start crying. And that was pretty much the end of it. You know, and then I feel bad because I'm peaking on a weaker kid. And I'm going to need him again tomorrow because we're going to be right back on the, out there on the court tomorrow. So I can't punish him, but I got to let him know what he's doing. only for him and he was cheating oh he was cheating

but see you know how I get him though I let him do something I let him do something and then I was threatening to go tell Papa he'd know that be the end of it because so when he cut me on my thigh

with the jeans he had a he had a and he was sharpening he was sharpening on a fire on a chaise on fire he sharpened on that chain on file man that thing was so

so he's like Let me see how sharp my knife field. So I went to put on two pair of shorts, a pair of jeans, Joe. Man, that joke was, he hit me with it. And I, I said, dang, it started tingling. Yeah. And I felt weird. Down to the white meat.

And I saw blood. Oh. Down to the white meat. Joe, I said, yeah, I got to tell Papa. Oh, hold on. No, you don't. Hey, Joe, yo, no, you don't. That's why I got this.

I got this cut right here because I had to let him cut me back so he wouldn't go and wrap me. Yeah, y'all had to cut it back. That joke and that would never... Hey, Joe, what kind of fool is this? You cut me and I can't get my truck back. That joke that would have never made it. I get a cut man. I got a $2 bill and I got $2.00.

He would have never made it in the mall. That juggle was, boy, he'd be giving up for the left and right. He would have never made. Get Bell, Pure Fiber Internet with Crave Netflix and Disney Plus. From $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything.

What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together and I Heart Women's Sports. Because let's be real. Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo roer to go from California to Hawaii. My first thought is, like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we eating?

The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments to take over your entire timeline. And the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports. Naomi Osaka, showing out, she beat. Sabalinka. Shout out to you, Naomi. You get the palm, Naomi. You get the palm for that.

Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports. on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us, or rather, you know them.

Tony and Candice, Nina and Lance, Spike, and yes, The Chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process.

How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chryssel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song, a melody. Well, I thought he was going to write. I thought you were all going to write. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. Eyo rewatch on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My first guest is Paris Hocin, Shakira, Luke and Yerrin, Samira, and Gracie.

I'm so excited. On the bouncy bed. You have surprises? Many surprises. Welcome to Sweet 305, where the group chat comes to life. What a fuck. It's like a way to say like, Oh, my God, hello, my friend, oh, my

my brother. What a... Look, never I've ever I've evered Except with my kids, my children, I know Oof, Oof, that's incredible,

yeah, the telenovela. You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst. It'slaminated. No, there's someone that you say, like you'd like to like to collaborate with this person.

This is Sweet 305. Listen to Sweet 305. Listen to Sweet 305. with Lele Pons as part of my Coutura Podcast Network on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Nick Titoro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue,

The Longest Yard, or Spike Lease Black Klansman. But I'm also from Queens, which means I know pizza. And on my new podcast, delivering happiness with Nick Titoro, I deliver pizza from Prince Street Pizza to a new guest. Are you delivering pizza now? Then we sit down for a real conversation.

I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing, my belt? To Alex Rodriguez. Just to let you people know, we're talking to one of the goats here. To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Tuturo. It's called Happiness.

Delivering Happiness. Mariano Rivera. Oh, my God. And many, many more. Open your free High Heart Radio app. Search Delivering Happiness with Nick Tutro. And listen now. Yeah.

Joe. Hold on. You think I would let that man cut me and I can't get no cut back? Damn. He said he got to get your give back no matter. What he did me, I stuck a pickfork in his leg. He took it and stuck it right back in my leg. Y'all are not the same.

There is no right or wrong. When it got to Barney Porter's desk, all parties involved were wrong. There ain't no. There ain't no, well, you shouldn't have it, no, y'all both getting it. And just to keep from getting it, like, he used to be like, hey, y'all get out of bed on Saturday morning. Y'all get up. I ain't raising no lazy youngers. Y'all get up and watch the sunrise.

But what we had to get up? Watch the sunrise. Yeah, y'all boys get up. Y'all boys get up and watch the sunrise. I ain't raising those lazy youngs. Like, ooh, Lord. Hey. Hey, who, who, who, Lord.

Hey, hey, y'all ain't have it when, uh, when your grandma used to tell you, go out there and give me that switch and you bet. No, sir, we're never, we were never that lucky. But we were never that lucky. Hey, our, our grandparents were equal opportunities. They did their own hunting. They did their own scalping. They did their own switch getting. And no, because they knew we wasn't going to come back with nothing of significance.

They already knew us that well. So, you know, we ain't ever had to go get our own. But then, but then, too, around our house, you get hit with anything. Yeah. I'm talking about you'd be like, I'm looking at this light cord right here. And I don't know how many times the light cord got snatched out. And I'm like, hey, how do you do that? Hey, hold up.

O.G. Real. Like, I'm telling you all, man, I've seen my cousins and them get beat with stitching cords. Yeah. Yeah. I'm talking about, I'm talking about, look, look, they get whoops so bad. I ain't even get hit. crying. You cry because you don't want to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've been down that road.

Absolutely. Yeah, we were. See, the thing is, is if somebody got in trouble, we all got in trouble. If he did it, we got in trouble because we older and we let him do. So we all got it. I mean, there was a, there was a line. Did I say it on your show? That's how I give me. Y'all don't want me to tell Papa is go caution. There was a, yeah. The girl got suspended.

Somebody got suspended. They got suspended from school? Huh? Oh, who got suspended? Oh. So you know, well, you may not tell Barney Porter you got suspended for school. So they got to get on the bus.

It's like they go into school. Get, so, and drop off and just walk around the whole. Walk around downtown. Until school. out, get back on the bus, and come back home. Well, you had to pay for my, they had to pay for my secrecy. Right.

You don't pay. Oh, show, I should have killed. Hey, Ocho. Hey, hold on. How much you charge? Ocho, in, in 1975, 76th, January, I should have killed him way back big, because, brother, I had joking.

But it was just like you were in constant. It was like, you were constantly nervous because, see, the thing was, is everything I did, I did with him. Right. But he never got the punishment. Like, not one time. Like, you know he did.

I was just, but you let him do. So come in. Because you, you let him. I was his response. How am I going to let him? Granny used to make him take, he wanted to go date. Granny said, you got to take him. How am I going to keep him for second granny garden on fire?

People are having to imagine the wind blowing in 700 miles an hour. We don't know what could happen, but you're going to blame me. So I'm walking around the truck because I'm trying to explain myself to him. Because I don't deserve the beat down. See, this is what happened. So I'm walking around the truck. My sister knows that the more my grandfather walked behind me, the matter he gets it. So she's just like going to make the decision that I should just go catching,

holding so he can get this overweed. Because the more he walk away, the heart is going to get worse. So. You had to tell you. I made me good, I made a good little come up. I had a good little hustle old show. Plus they were dating. You know, my aunt married her, she passed away.

She was the one, and she would always take me with her. But she already knew large milkshake, cheese, burger fries, leave me in the car, when the hat part down, I'm cool. She comes home with this piggy bank, well, it was a smiley face. And so she would put

the spare change that she came across in there, but it was for him. So I should have killed him for the money back then, but I didn't. I should have, there was, You know, it's tragic in some ways, just thinking about all, like, we would get a gun. We would get the, you know, the shotgun or the 12 gauge or the 30, 30. And we would, hey, Granny, we're going hunting.

She'd be like, I'll be careful. That was the extent. That was the old joke. Like, every gun we had in the house, Joe, were loaded to the guild. There was never, there was never. And it never darned on us. Like, you hear kids, somebody had an accident. He told you.

This ain't nothing to play with it. Dead is a long time. That's what he told. He said, hey, hey, boy, dead is a long time. He said, so if you go messing with, he has 45, his Army 45 on the seat. He goes, if you go messing with this right here, dead is a long time.

Now, I ain't know what that meant, but I understood that that gun was not to be touching. And when you talk about our guns being loaded, I'm talking about one in the chamber. I'm the way we ain't we ain't cocking nothing when we grab it it's time to go to work yeah we ain't cocking nothing it's in the one in the hole as we grew up then we were we learned how to swim we all got thrown in the same clay hole hey yeah I'm throwing you in get yourself out but but that was the thing joe we it never dawned on us

to go get a gun and play with it because he had our first of all if somebody told that somebody went and got a gun, you're going to die anyway. Joe, well, wish you were dead. He's going to kill him. Man, look here. But, like, and when Papa died, the guns still was left because my uncle James took some of them. But the guns were still loaded. I was nine, ten years old, Joe.

I go get the shotgun. I go get the rifle and go down there and try to kill squirrel and shoot the birds or whatever, whatever I could. By 19 years old, what nine-year-old you know now can go just get a gun. Go get a shotgun. Go get a rifle and just walk off and go shoot it. It depends on when you live. You got to be in the country.

With nobody around. With the next house is miles away. That's about the only place. Yes. Oh, and the chickens, oh, we got in the trouble. Hey, they could have, they said, they could have ruined me because I killed Papa Bard Rock. Boy, they were throwing the rocks and buddy, you know, let me tell you something now.

Well, hey, I already. Let me tell you. Let me tell you. Joe, I would have been. My brother should have been a baseball player, Joe. He should have been a baseball player because what... I was accurate with that ball. That was that rock joke.

Yeah. Hold on. I got to tell the story. But one day we came up with the idea for entertainment. We in the road. Our outside the house is dirt road. So it's grass, you know, all the rocks. So, Oach, we come up with the thing.

He about 30, 40 yards away. So we throw in rocks at each other. You know, we're trying to hit each other. But this is our entertainment, bro. This is our entertainment. the same. So we're trying to hit each up. So I think once or twice I might have got him on the leg

or on the waist. So we thrown probably 6, 700 rocks trying to hit each other. So I'm down trying to pick up a rock. And you know how you get that the hairs on the back of that weird feeling? Joe, I looked up. It was like in slow, it was coming in slow motion.

When nothing I could do, but take it. It was one of the only times I ever quit a competition. It was one of the only times I ever quit a competition joke. I was like, man, I was trying to find, you know, you're trying to get that rock that you can get that index finger so you can get that spin. And I was down looking for it. When I looked up, it was like a slow motion.

Wasn't nothing I can do. Joe, I could kill birds with a rock. They be sit on the branch. Yeah. That joke had a... That Jersey Air rifle. How long I had that BB guns, Spakey? It's got to be 50 years old.

It's got to be 50 years old. Damn. I'm saying it's got to be 50. I would have the bird lined up on the clothesline. Yeah, it's got to be 50 years old. I'm 61. It's got to be 50 years old. It's got to be 50 years old.

But let me tell you. Joe's about this long There was Andy Oakley and all the other great shots that joke that's one thing he can do with that BB gun dog if it was out there he brought in it

I'm coming back I'm coming back with Blue Jays, Red Cardinals Thank God there was none on the endangered species list because he was killing them all You killed a Cardinals? He was killing them all, dog

He was everything I'm saying with y'all either No, he was just putting them on the clothes line. No, no, not the car. I put them on the clothes line so they can see you. Trofen. Trofen.

That's what I said, Joe. I'm a trophy on a joke. I'm a big name on a joke. Hey, the Cardinal, but that's one for free time. Yeah, my brother had a bunch of them on the clothesline. Yeah. And a bunch of the Blue Jays, a bunch of the Robbins. They ain't about it.

Oh, Joe, I'm telling you, when I come back, or I got my team. The Robbins, we used to call them, them old red belly robins. Yeah, he used to have the clothes. line. He used to have a clothes line. You can eat a Robin, though, Ocho and Joe. You can eat a Robin. You can eat a Robin. Yeah. More big red belly, big fat ones?

Yeah. That's another thing, too. I was trying to get a squir. I was trying to get quail, but I couldn't sneak up on a joke. That's another thing, too. He talked about all the stuff he ate. I didn't partake in a lot of the stuff that he ate.

Because I was, if, like, chitlins, I never ate a chitling. I've never had a chitlin in my mouth. After cleaning them, I was like, no, this is not going. down that way. We're not doing that. Hog mall, all-head cheese, pig

feet. I ain't ever, okay, raccoons, squirrels, I've never eaten a possible. I ain't never partaking that. I'm not... He boogey. Okay, do without. Like, do you like the people across the river? Do without. Do without. Okay,

I'm going to eat. I ain't yo, I'm going to eat. No, I don't like no chillers. I like no hog mow, but I eat some livers and light. I eat pig ears. I eat pigtail, pig feet. Nope. I'll eat collars. I'm not eating mustard green. Nope. Not going to do. Not I don't like that. I don't like root a beggar.

Joe, if I can't, wait, that's what I got to eat is that or corn flakes. I'll take the carnation instant milk. I will mix it in water and I will eat me some corn flakes. Yeah, but you ate that alligator turn. You ate that. I tried it. And I was like, yep, never, I promise God. never again. Nah, I do.

The alligator. Alligator turtle. Oh, that big, watch a little. Somebody stab a turtle? Yeah. Oh, y'all call the alligator turtle. Yeah.

Well, you got a saw shell, which is, I mean, his shell like leather is real smooth. They streamline. Long got a long pointed nose. That's a saw shell. And then you got the alligator snapping turtle. Yeah.

You got a tail like a, it got a red dog back, like an alligator. How are you cooking? How are you cooking? Hey, hey. I don't. I take them out of the show.

That's a conversation y'all need to have when I'm gone because I don't need to know that. I don't even know. Yeah, we ain't eating that. Hey, and we go fishing, Joe, we go fishing and we catch them. We're going to have to clean them. We throwing the fish back.

Greatest half because of your ass. I see y'all throwing the fish. Well, she must have called about 200 looked like in that bucket. But me and Shannon, me and Shannon were throwing them on the bank. Save yourself, fish and save yourself. They were flopping, tried to get back in that water grain.

It was like, I know. They ain't throwing them fish back. It shows what you do. Yeah, because we got to clean them. Ain't nobody tried to clean all their down. I promise God, when I left Georgia, I'm not cleaning another one. I'm not cleaning another one.

And then we get together with our cousins and we came up with this bright idea that the little fish, we go bite the head off and throw them back in the water. What? You all got to understand. understand. It's entertainment, man. It was entertainment. It was entertainment. Whatever you need to do to entertain yourself,

we did it. Hey, hold on, Unc, so you bit the head of the fish off and threw it back in the water? Yeah. Okay, okay. Damn. That's how it all started, how? Okay. Nah, no, no, that's the only fish I had in my mind. Don't see, you go on you. Hey, I know what you're going.

Hey, listen, I'm going to keep a PG. I'm going. We got, we got, we got, we got, We got OG on. No, these came out of the water. Yeah, these hell you had them on the end of a hook. So, no, I see where you go on, but no, we ain't going there. I see where you go. We ain't going there.

Yeah. But now, man. Babe, man, thanks for stopping by giving us a few minutes of time, man. You good? You good, don't you need anything? I mean, you know, I'm retired, man. Old Pol Hunt's looking some, you know. Hey, Joe, I see, you know, I see the show Nightcap doing good.

I was like, well, I think the show doing good. And then they were like, yeah, I so Joe going to be joining us. I was like, I saw Joe joining the show forever, man. You know, and then I'm looking around his neck, and I see jewels around his neck, Joe. You know, I see the, I see Jew. See, hey, Joe, this what we used to have is right here. We used to just. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about old school.

That got stole. When they broke them out, they stole. Roots and hair bones, OG. That's what we used to have, Joe. but as you can see, you know, nightcap, club, Shea doing real well. Oh, yeah.

You know, I don't want to get rid of my eight-four because this is the only, you know, I've had this since I got this. The first thing I bought when I got drafted. But I like what Brug got around his neck. I don't want the chain. I just want what it costs. But the chain costs, I take the money, you know,

and do what I want to do with it. Oh, yeah. Hey, hey, he come a long way from the farm, man. That man got patiques on. APs. He got really good memory. But that joke ain't been back there to farm in about 400 years.

I think we were all slaves last time. Last time I've been home. Did you come back after Granny Kim? Probably 20, 2013. 2014 when Ki-R. graduated, I stopped by. Yep, yep, yep. Hey, we got to get out there, man.

We got to go, you know, we got to go hunting that. I'm not going on. What I will do, I'll hunt away my golf ball if I do get it out of the fair way, but that's about as much hunting as I'm doing. I ain't looking for nothing that day. Anything out there living in the wild, you're good with me. And we're praying pranks on everybody.

Man, I brag about six or seven tubes of toothpaste. Because in the morning, I'm going to wake up in the morning, and I'm going to put toothpaste on somebody door. So when they walk out and just pull the door, because you know, ain't nobody looking. They just closed the door. Come on, Sharp. I'm laid in the bed.

Man, I ain't nobody do that, but Sharp. Man, I'll be like, so I go by the time I get to the cafeteria shop, man, you need to stop playing. I said, what are you talking about? I just woke up. Nah, man, ain't nobody did that, but you stopped playing. Or we'll put rubbing alcohol and set it on fire.

Hey, come out. Nah, man, Sharp, leave us alone. Or we'll penny lock you in the room. You ever penny lock somebody? in the room Joe, Joe. How did a penny lock? What would that mean? Yeah.

You take pennies and you know, it's just enough. So you put pennies in the door so they can't open it either way. They can't pull it over or push it open. Oh, I ain't, I, I, I, I, I ain't never seen that. I ain't either. Man, I kept, we kept people penny locked in the room. Or we'll knock your peep hole out. Hey, come out, man, I want to talk to you about some, nah, shop, you play too much.

Five stings, y'all, all in your room. Oh, that's next step. Get Bell, Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus. From $94 a month, price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers.

Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and I-heart women's sports. Because let's be real. Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii. My first thought is like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we eating?

The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire timeline. And the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports. Naomi Osaka showing out, she beat. Sabalinka. Shout out to you, Naomi. You get the palm, Naomi. You get the palm for that.

Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports. On the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brown's seen and Fred Armisen here.

You know us or rather you know them. Tony and Candice, Nina and Lance, Spike and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters,

revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process. How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysler, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song, a melody. Well, I thought he was going to write. I thought you're all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. Ayo, rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My first guest is Paris Holtin, Shakira, Luke and Yerrin, Samira,

Gracie! I'm so excited on the bouncy bed. You have surprises? Many surprises. Welcome to Sweet 305 where the group chat comes to life. What a f***. It's like a way, oh my name, oh my, my my brother, what a . Look, never I've ever been

with nobody. Except with my kids, my children, my children, so, me a man, ooh, oonch, that's incredible, yeah, the telenovela. You're the only person I know that loves a yellow star

It's lemonade. There's not anyone that you like you say, I'd like to collaborate with this person. This is Sweet 305. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons as part of my Culture

Podcast Network on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Chelsea Hamler from Dear Chelsea. Every week, the news gets worse. The world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible,

you're the problem. If you come over here to play games, I'ma check you. Okay? If you do some in the news that don't sound good, I'm gonna play you. Join Yomeneika Saunders as she breaks down the week's

most problematic stories on her new podcast. You're the problem with Yamanika. Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? New episodes weekly every Wednesday is part of my new network, the Dear Chelsea Network. If he got a bunch of women,

then I should have a bunch of men. Do better or do less so I don't have to do so much. So join Yamanika each episode as she answers one question. Who's the problem? I'm Yamanika, and I'm out. Listen to You're the Problem with Yamanika on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Oh, man, come on.

The last night, man, we did the last time we was up in Greeley. This was a 2002. I'm sorry, Harpo, I got to get you up. I said, Harpo, I need a master key. You know, everybody. call me Sharper. Sharper, what you need it for? I said, Sharpe. I said, Harpo, we got to get the rookies, man.

They've been misbehaving. He's a, after we do room check, come down and get it. So now, me, burns, about five of us, we don't went, I think it was King Supers or something, but we don't got,

we take all the, we get trash cans. Yeah. We fill it up with syrup, water, and flour, and we cut up the pillars and dump the feathers in there. Oh, man. Hey, about 1 o'clock, 1.30 to the more of them joking sleep.

Paluso. Hey, I know, hey, I know they were. I know they were mad. Hey, they sound asleep, Ocho and Joe. I know they were mad. What? Were they? Hey.

Hey. Because there's a rookie, man. You're going to get guys anyway. You know, me. No matter what you do. It doesn't matter if you doing everything right or if you doing everything. They're going to get you, bro. You're a rookie.

In Baltimore, we tied them up. We tie them up to the gold pole, dump water on them, put them in the cold tub. Yeah. But in Denver, oh, yeah, we got them. Man, we messed up so many. We messed up people, computers. I'm sorry, guys. I am so sorry that we messed up your computer.

Man. When they go to pop. But we did about 45. And all the fact, all that, because we go get Bible Steering Shop, everybody float. We empty those. That thing like a winter wonderland. Yeah. Hey,

they go get your keys out your locker while you're in practice and they popcorn your car. Okay, Ocho. Man, you know how hard it is getting all this stuff out your car for us. That's funny. Joe, we steal somebody car and drive it by the mile away, leave it running, doors open lights on.

Damn. By the time of practice over here, that thing dead. Oh, man. I got it. got off easy as a rookie. The most they did to me tied me to the gold post left me out there

poured all the gatorade out to practice. Yep. Gatorade on top of me, the water on top of me. That was pretty much it. And my rookie dinner. My rookie dinner had to pay where I had to pay for the receivers. I got off easy. Oh. Yeah. And we're going to make you late. You got to be late. You got to be

at late for one practice. Because we're going to nail your locker shut. Nail it shut. Man, come on, man. Who did this, man? Oh, man. Showed him some fun that you were. Melt snickers and put them in your helmet.

Oh, yeah. Baby powder in your helmet and you be sweating that baby's like, man, what the? Come on, man. Man, y'all play too. I said, bro, I don't know why everybody blame it on me. Like, I'm the only guy on the team. Man, there ain't nobody but sharp. It had to be sharp or burns.

I bet you. Hey, come on, bro. Y'all just start blaming me for stuff that I did. I mean, I didn't do. Hey, hey, I try to do everything right. Okay, Ocho. What, you need coffee? What you need, copulactic, what you need, newspaper.

I'm bringing it all. I'm making sure I ain't missing that. They got you joke. Because it was three of us as rookies. So, you know, like, if one of us ain't doing what they asked, hell, we all got to pay. Man, we came outside one day, One of them cars was full popcorn.

I'm talking about as soon you open a dough. It comes flushing. Oh, man. I got a lucky too, Ocho, because I was the only rookie. And they didn't want to do anything. So I got a limbo, I got limbo, had that thing, and ain't nobody show up. I'm like, thank you, Jesus. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you, Jesus. But Clinton Porter's, oh, we got Porter's. Clint Porter's Ashley Lee. Y'all got CP? Did we? I know he was mad. No, he was a good sport about it.

Oh, he was cool? Okay, okay, okay. We were good about it. I mean, it ain't cost, but like 22, five. That's only about. That's it, 22, five. 2000? 22,500.

Well, y'all would have had to see me on. Hey, the thing is, look, I say, look, guys, this is what we're going to do. We're not taking anything home. Because, you know, because guys have started, they order, they order stakes, $150 stakes take home. My in my in-law coming in town. No, your in-laws ain't fin to eat none of this. Man, them joke was buy a $3,000 a bottle of wine to take home.

Now, if you want to drink some Rob Child and some petruse or if you want a shot of that King Louis, hey, what's the most expensive? Because back then that King Louis, that's all we knew. Yeah. It was like $100, $125 a shot. What? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, come on, come on. You said that too casual.

A $125 for what? A shot, an ounce, maybe two ounces, about this much. Come on, nah, come on, nah. They just... Let me get 15 of those. Fifteen? Fifteen. Who gonna pay for it?

The rookie. Portis and Lily. What? Damn. That's cold. Oh, you're going to pay for it. My car would have declined here. It wouldn't even...

It went through, Joe? You know, no, $22,000 when I was a rookie on my car. Oh, you first ride paid, Joe, you got it. I ain't saying that you got it. But I got, I had a limit on my card and 22 grand, it wasn't going to go through. Don't worry about it. What would we're through? Hey, Joe, what you're saying?

Guess what? We got it. We take out your check. Hey, Ojo. Oh, Joe. Oh, Joe. I have about like a $7 to $8,000 limit. That was, if I went over that, and one.

It was a rap, huh? Yeah, and you had to get me a limbo. I had to get a car by myself. I couldn't ride with nobody because I was going to leave. And when I was ready to leave, so you got to get a limo just for me. Yeah, I'm. You made the price go up even more.

For sure. Yeah. But, you know, sometimes we had rookies. They wasn't no high draft picks. You know, I went. I help them out. Right. But if you were the first round draft

pick and you on the skill position running back or why receive? Yeah, you got it. You got it. You know what's funny too is, you know, it's tradition. All NFL teams, obviously rookies based on position, you all have rookie night. Obviously, the dinners. When I was a veteran, I never did it. I never made the rookie to have to do anything.

You ain't do? I ain't made them boy do nothing. I had to deal with it. I was kind of cool about it. I wouldn't with the Hayes and you ain't got to care. my pad, you ain't got to carry my helmet. I was cool. I would just chill.

Man, I dropped my stuff right down the floor. Hey, drop them pads right down there. Hey, bro, let me get some, hey, get me some gatorade. Yeah. Yeah. That's a whole part about it. So, hopefully, you be inspired to make the team, so you guess what? You get your rookie.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I was kind of cool about it. Mm-mm. I had to get chicken. And I ain't even want no chicken. Well, that's right. I had to do Popeye's, huh?

Yeah. But a receiver that had to do Popeyes on game Day as a rookie, Joe. Hey, hey,

hey, when I wasn't dressing. I still had to get Popeyes. Listen, man, I had to get coffee,

donuts and a newspaper. These folks ain't even looking at the newspaper. Hold on. Now, this is very important,

now. When you go get donuts, we talk about Dunkin Donuts and we talk about Christian cream. I was getting Dunkin' Donuts

at the time. No, they had this place I think it's called Winchels. And they're talking about they want to I know about Winchels, on?

I think that was the name of those, Joe. And Joe, they're talking about they want them hot, and they wanted six glazed and they wanted with Kelly donuts and they won't

I said, come on, man. Damn. Hey. Hey. And they won't breakfast sandwich. They got this pot. They got breakfast sandwich. I want bacon,

egg, and cheese. I want sausage egg and cheese. Well, I won't, I won't mine on a consult. You'd be late for that plane. You want to. Man, please.

But I wanted to fight these dude for real. And I know, They know they couldn't beat me. I want to fight the end word for real. And then I was just like, you know what? I only lied, but like week eight, a week nine, I just told her, I said, I said, I ain't bringing no more donuts. You said that?

I said, I ain't bringing no more donuts. It said, all right, you know what's going to happen. I said, okay. If anybody's knowing y'all, because they're going to cut me, I'm going to whip every, I'll say, I'm going to whip every last one of y'all. Did you bring them? No, I was done. They weren't even eating them.

Okay. But I had, first of all, I was seventh-round drive-pick, Ocho. I ain't got no bread like that. I'm buying all this stuff. And when I leave, you know, I sit them in the guy's locker. Yeah. I mean, somebody might eat one donut. Somebody might eat, you know, one breakfast sandwich or two breakfast sandwich.

I don't bought seven, eight. Nah. They didn't want you to put the work in. They just want you. Hey, they just want to put your hands to work. I'm having to get up early. Hey, they're wasting your money, huh? That's it okay.

Hey, hey, not only that, you got to leave practice early on days. We're going to fly out. You got to leave practice early because you got to go get all this sandwich is. Thank you, Joe. Thank you. Thub ways. Boy, you're going to be late. We're calling you.

You ain't got about 10 minutes, boy. You're pulling up sweating like I don't know what. Yeah. Somebody won't Popeye. Somebody won't Kentucky fried chicken. Somebody want Burger King. I mean, why can't just go get Popeyes? And everybody get in the same thing.

I want spicy. I won't mild. Man, I'm done. That's crazy. That's how I happen. That's crazy. So that was the end of that. I did it for as long as I could.

I kept doing it. If they were eating the sandwiches, I'd have kept buying them. No problem. But now, y'all not eating them. And then, you know, the de liming them eating them. And the offensive line would eat them? Nah. Right.

I say, hey, well, I guess that's an ass cut. I'm going to have to take it. But I tell you what. Yeah. Two of y'all are going to get effed up. I promise you that. Yeah. Did they complain?

What they're going to do? I told them, whatever y'all want to do. Right. Oh, damn. They gave me the name, Big Reasy for a reason. Yeah. Big Greasy. Hey, aunt.

Uh-uh. I would have had a job. jump on you, boy. I would have to jump on you, boy. Like a chicken on a jukebub, boy. I ain't got into it one time. For real? Yeah, me and C.K. Because I was a rookie. When they move, when they moved me to tight end, obviously, I had to go into the tight end room. C.K. was a vet. C.K. was a vet. C.K. set behind me. And every day, you know, I don't want to cause no trouble. My grandma say, boy, I don't see you nowhere, know how you know how to behave. You know how to act. Yes, sir. C. K. kept knocking my, um,

So I have all my thing out, so I'm trying to take notes. So I have my notebook out. And where y'all like to make me say, this ninja would like kick the book and all my papers find so, you know, I got to rearrange him. Right. And so I thought, okay, it's a rookie. I'm a rookie. Okay, I'm a, I'm going to eat this couple of times.

Mm-hmm. You know, one of them days, guys, you just don't even feel like being barber. Yeah, yeah. Snap-bunk? you catch you catch you catch you catch the right guy but it just happened to be the wrong day yeah man that Joe kicked that he kicked that thing over one more time that last time boy I jump out that seat death flipped over damn by that time I had I was all I was right here I had I got him out of his seat I said CK you do that one more time bro I'm gonna beat your ass and you're gonna beat

And I don't think you can beat me. I don't think you can beat me. Who broke it up? I didn't have nobody. They were just looking like, well, damn. I bet he said I'm just playing. I bet he ain't do it no more. Because at that time, my eyes,

when I get really, really upset, my eyes get really red and they start the water. Mm-hmm. I had a young lady that used to call me beast. because when I get really upset, she's like, man, look at your nostrils. So she called me, he called me beast. Man, I was some, boy, look here, had I been a, well, he wouldn't have done that if I was a vet. Right.

But he thought like, and see, I don't like all that picking. That's what they call, we call it, you decide, we call it picket, Ocho. They call it bull-in now. Trying to bully, yeah. I don't do all that picking. And grown men don't play like that. I had no told him, Mary stopped that, man. I was thinking the coach,

the tiny coach was going to say something, but he didn't. That was it. And then I slapped the dude one time because he was playing. Damn, mom. You slapping people at work? Look here, man.

Would a man tell you to stop playing? What you do, Joe? Stop playing, yeah. It was cold, and he knocked the ball out of my head. I'm talking about it was cold. I'm talking about it. I bundle up. I got two sweatsuit,

two pairs sweatpants on. I'm talking about this cold out here. Come on, man. So he knocked the ball out of my hand. I said, man, stop playing. So catch me a pass. I come back. He hit the ball, and the ball hit me in the face.

And before I had knew it, I had them punched him there in his face. Yeah, a little slight reaction. I'm talking, hey, I'm talking about that thing. I'm talking about, oh, I snapped. But he said, man, you for real? they said that man just punched the shit at you what you think I went on about my business

that was the end of that he bet he'd do it no more nope I mean we didn't speak for a couple of days but we were cool after that I don't do our look we had a group that we used to play jokes on each other

me Burns house double a dude named Alan Ardress his soul he passed away it was about four of us and footts so we were play jokes on each other.

Couldn't do it in the cafeteria, but if we saw you somewhere outside like, man, Joe could be eating in his locker and you come to knock all this food out. Oh, okay, we did that in high school. We did it in the high school. So check this out, Joe, check this out Joe and Ocho.

This dude, I get my food. And Ray Jacobs, that's who it was, Ray Jacobs. So every day I would come with pancakes. I come with pancakes. From Lapeat. I get wheat germ pancakes, banana sliced on top. That's it. That's what I would get.

I would park in the same spot every day. How about dude laying up under his car? Huh? He laying up under his car. I ain't thinking of the body. Man, I got my, got my, uh-huh, pancakes, got my orange juice. I'm just a, I'm going to tear this up. How dude roll up on his car and just kick my bag right up by my hand?

Oh, man. go everywhere. Yeah, he laid on the ground under his truck like Cape Fear. You see the movie Cape Fear with Robert De Niro? Yeah, Justin. That's how old boy did me. Hey, you know, back in high school, when we played that, and you got some of your hand, they slap it out your hand real quick and it hit the flow.

It's yours. But it hit the flow, though, Joe, so you can't eat it no more. Yeah. I play three-second rule, boy. I'm, three second rule, I'm picking it up. I'm eating mine. You couldn't eat that because we hit on the floor and just step on it. Okay.

You ain't eat that on, Joe. Hey, hey. That's exactly what God would do. Tell me, oh, three second rule. Three second rule, yep. Joe, y'all ain't played that three second rule, Joe? Nah, no, no. We play games like if you had something in your hand and I liked it and I knocked it out,

then it was like, okay, okay, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we're in training cap, Ocho. I go around and unscrew, screw the top off and just barely put it back on all the salt and pepper shakers. So when they get some, all the pepper in the place, all the salt on their food. Hey, boy, you, man. Oh, that's a good day, boy. I did.

I did. That was, hey, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was. All the stuff that I wanted to do with, like, I said, I couldn't wait. They got me, Joe. Yeah, yeah. That's the same. I got to get back. Yeah.

I hated when, because that was my, in 2003, my last year playing, we had training camp at the facility. That's when they had started, you know, bringing in and we didn't go back to Greeley anymore. But to go to Greeley, to be in that dorm, because we stayed at UNC, University of Northern Colorado up in Greeley. Man. Oh, we stayed at.

We stayed in some mess. Oh, man. Oh, Ocho, we told, we, Ocho, we, Ocho, we'd have been mad. Oh, we got Ocho. Who? We got Ocho. You're a rookie.

Nah, but I'm coming, now, you, y'all, y'all would have loved me. Y'all wouldn't have mess with me? Yeah, we would have, and you're a rookie year. And then we'd have got you so bad, and you're like, oh, I'm getting me somebody back. Yeah. They, hey, they make something up to get you, Ocho.

It don't mind if you doing everything right. They're going, they're going to make something Come up. It's all good. It's all good. Yeah, because you're only a rookie once, Ocho. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

And then guess what? You're going to be a vet longer than you're going to be a rookie. Rookie. So guess about all the rookies that come in after you? Yeah. See, I let all the rookie slide that came after me. I was a good sport about it, too, Uncle Joe. I was a good sport about it.

I want to trip. Listen, I understand the tradition. I really ain't into that. So I'm going to accept it. I'm going to pay what I need to pay. before the games, I'm going to get your Popeyes, you know. I'm good. I don't want no Popeyes.

I want you to sing. Where are you from? Put your hand over your heart. Where are you from? Oregon State. What position you play? Wire receiver. How are you your signing bonus?

Oh, hell no. How do you get $500,000? Oh, yeah. Hey, the worst thing in the NBA was when they made you, as rookies, they make all the rookies carry these little girl backpack. You had to carry like a pink backpack or it may have to be clear

to where you can see anything. Oh, man, it may have, it might be a butterfly backpack. Door to be a blackpack. Oh, man. Are you a door to explore all that? Yeah, yeah. Whole season.

But that's gone on. What we did was passed down. have been doing that for like 40, 50 years, oh, Joe, Joe. Yeah. Damn. So, we just want to keep the tradition going. Okay. All that, they're cutting

up. We ain't cut no hair. I mean, I see some people cut people here and now. We ain't cut nobody. I ain't cut nobody here or not. Wow. No, yeah. Man, they be getting to, man. They cut half the side of the hair off like this here. The rest the side is there. Oh, yeah. They get your Mohawk. They do all, you know, man, Joe. I said, oh, no. Y'all doing too much for that.

Right. That's too much. Then with the days, I'm sorry, man, you know what? Now that I think about it, y'all ain't get no rookie initiation, Joe? You did, don't Joe? We didn't get Joe no rookie initiation. Joe?

Yeah. What we don't do to him? I don't know. We think of something. There, I'm two years in. Yeah, you're right, Joe. Damn. But even if you two...

We didn't pass the threshold. Not really. We still got to initiate you, though. I'm, hey, Unk, you know what? I'm kind of mad, too, Unk. What there? For what? I'm mad.

He faking the injury trying to duck me, man. Oh, he ducking you on you, oh, he's got nothing to do. Yeah, he ducking me. I'm thinking about, I just thought about that. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey, what I ain't doing in the big three, ain't got nothing to do with you probably. Oh.

I'm gonna be able to tend to you soon. Don't you even worry about that. Damn. Yeah. Don't worry about that. You think so? That left leg, he said that left leg is only like 115. So he ain't going to be able to push off it.

Hey, all I'm going to do it, I'm going to go to his right. Because you got to push off that left. That's right. Yeah, you can't see, you can't see in that damn right now. So we're even. Exactly. We're even. Yeah.

Hey, Joe, hey, Joe, don't talk about my eye, Joe, for real. That thing, hey, that thing a little murky, though, for real, though. Yeah. You look cloudy, Ocho. Hey, can you see it? Can you see it? Yeah. Yeah, man. You're mad, huh?

Yeah. Man, that's why I'm going to say. I'm going to go get the cataract removal, man. I'm going to do it, man. You probably need to. I am, I am. Hey, man, I be, man, I don't know, man. I don't know, man.

You scared, huh? Well, don't want to have to. I just, you know, what? I remember what it was like when 1994, when I had death surgery and I had inflammation on the inside, my grandma thought it was pink eye. I don't know what it was, but I remember they took the Q-tip. Yeah.

And they take the Q-tip on top of the eyeball. Yeah. And you feel that needle go in, but you can't feel the pain because they haven't. They numbed it. Oh, that's the worst feeling, man. I just don't want to go through that no more, man. And then I had a late-haping.

No, that ain't what they do with a cataract now. They actually lift it up and pull it out. Oh, man. Yeah, yeah. They got to get that up out of that. Go on get it done, bro. You gotta get right. Yeah, I'm gonna do it, Joe.

I'm gonna do it, Joe. I'm gonna do it. I just, oh, that's just the eyeball, man. And what if I get that lazy eye again? Or that far as Whitaker? No, my eye, in high school, my eye was stuck like that. It was, it was just, it was off to the side. Like, oh, you think that thing, Kaukka, huh?

Yeah, I was like that for real. I don't know how. Like, hey, Joe, you can see how I, you see how I'm looking at you right now? Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't like that when I was in high school. My eye was stuck. It was stuck to the right, like Biggie Smalls.

I don't know how it got to the point. And I can't see. I can't see nothing out the right eye. I just don't want that to happen. I go back in there. I go back under the knife and then my eye stuck. I'm 50 years old and I'm cockyed. What would that look like?

We're going to start the show every night. What a joke could do. Oh, don't think just because you got a cock eye at 50 years old. We ain't going to join you. Boy, please. Hey, come on, man. Y'all can't do me like that, man. Yes, we can.

Yes, we will. I know Joe might not, but I'm, oh, hey. Oh, no, I'm like, hey, hey, you know, I got to get mine in to do it. You know what? I'm going to wear a patch. Don't worry about it. That's okay. We know what's under there.

You're going to be like, hey, you're going to be like slick Rick the ruler? Yeah, man, yeah, man. That's why I'm nervous about getting it done because I just know after that surgery, I had a cock eye all through. high school sophomore. I had to deal with it in college. And once I got to Santa Monica, for some reason, it started to straighten back up.

But I still couldn't see how that. Hey, y'all, remember, the club, when Dave Chappelle Reggie, would he ask him, should I get him? Get him, get him, should I get him? What would he do for a Klondike bar? Now we know who leading Gil was great. I remember when you cut him, he bleed chunky,

Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann and many more.

Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song about it. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. A.O. Rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J.

And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and I Heart Women's Sports. We're breaking down the biggest headlines. Naomi Osaka, showing out. Shout out to you, Naomi. The viral moments. I've been obsessed with Kashan Rock's boxing journey. She looks good. Her combos are swift.

And the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Nick Titoro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, the longest yard, or Spike Lease Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, delivering happiness with Nick Titoro, I deliver pizza to a new guest.

I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing my belt? To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Tuturo. It's called Happiness, Delivering Happiness. And many, many more. Open your free High Heart Radio app.

Search Delivering Happiness with Nick Totoro. And listen now. This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week, the news gets worse. That's crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem. Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men. Do better or do less, so I don't have to do so much.

I'm Yamanika, and I'm out. Listen to You're the Problem with Yamanika on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. My first guest is Territ Hilton, Shakira, Luke, and Yerrin. You have surprises? many surprises. Welcome to the Sweet 305 podcast where the group chat comes to life. What a!

You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst. It's lemonade. This is Sweet 305. Here, oversharing is encouraged. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons on the IHard Radio app,

Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.