On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 10 Life Changing Lessons I Learned in The Last 12 Months (Birthday Special!)

Episode Date: September 5, 2025

What’s the biggest lesson you learned this year? What advice would you give yourself a year ago? In this special birthday reflection, Jay opens up about the most meaningful lessons he’s learned over the past year. Rather than focusing on milestones or achievements, he dives into the deeper truths that shape how we love, pay attention, and grow within. From realizing that overhelping can sometimes hold others back, to seeing how saying “no” can be one of the most honest forms of respect, Jay invites us to rethink the way we set boundaries, show compassion, and care for ourselves and others. Jay reminds us that real wealth isn’t measured in material success, but in how we direct our attention, and how often we waste it on distractions, resentment, or things we can’t control. He explains how fulfillment comes from aligning our choices with our values, letting go of envy and ego, and prioritizing kindness over recognition. Jay also shares why people change more when they feel understood than when they’re corrected, and why the endings of our experiences often matter more than the beginnings. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Say No With Confidence How to Align Success With Your Values How to Let Go of Ego and Envy How to Learn From People Who Frustrate You How to Listen Instead of Correct Growth is not about perfection, it’s about choosing small, intentional steps each day that move you closer to the life you truly want. The lessons we learn through mistakes, struggles, and reflections are not setbacks, but stepping stones that shape our strength and clarity. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast   What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:19 10 Lessons I’ve Learned Over the Past Year 02:34 Lesson #1: Helping Less Can Actually Help More 09:46 Lesson #2: Saying No Is a Complete Sentence 17:19 Lesson #3: The Power of Where You Place Your Attention 20:22 Lesson #4: Success Without Alignment Feels Empty 24:20 Lesson #5: Frustration Is Your Greatest Teacher 25:40 Lesson #6: Kindness is Remembered Longer Than Achievements 27:59 Lesson #7: People Change When They Feel Understood 30:10 Lesson #8: Endings Matter More Than Middles 33:31 Lesson #9: Create Intentional Moments 33:49 Lesson #10: Manage Endings in ConflictsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. I'm Radi Dvlucia and I'm the host of a really good cry podcast and I have the opportunity to talk to Logan Yuri. If you're out there trying to date right now, being ghosted on Hinge or want to create a dating profile that gives you a solid chance of matching with someone you actually want to go on a date with, then this episode with Hinge's director of relationship science, Logan Yuri is definitely for you. Relationships do require work.

The best relationships are people who really work on them together. Listen to a really good cry on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to the U versus You podcast. I'm Lex Barrero, inviting you to go beyond the titles and the accolades of the world's most successful entertainers. Each week, we take off the Cape and get real about the inner battles, childhood stories, and the moments that shaped our guests. Get inspired to become the best version of you. Listen to U versus You podcast on the IHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcast. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace.

You discover the depths of your mother's illness. I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the powerful stories I'll be mining on our upcoming 12th season of Family Secrets. We continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You think saying no will let the other person down. Well, guess what?

When you say yes when you don't want to, you let yourself down and you let that person down. And in the long term, you actually end up building resentment. It's better to say no and continue to have a relationship, then say yes and resent the relationship. The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay City. Shetty.

The one, the only, Jay Shetty. Hey, everyone, it's Jay Shetty. Welcome back to On Purpose. It blows my mind that millions of you tune in every single day to listen and to watch. Make sure you've subscribed to my YouTube channel so that you never miss a video. And make sure you've subscribed on Apple, Spotify, IHart, or wherever you get your podcasts so that you don't miss a drive. I've got so many exciting things coming your way. Now, it's a very special episode today

because tomorrow, if you're listening to this on the 5th of September 2025, tomorrow the 6th of September is my birthday and every year I love to do a reflection, introspection episode. Today I'm going to share with you lessons I've learned in the last 12 months. They're about life, people, relationships.

I'm going to give you the biggest ones that I've taken away. These are real lessons that have come from lived experience, come from my own mistakes, come from my own challenges and struggles. And I love doing this episode for you every year because it really gets me into my own heart and mind and I get to open up about it with all of you. I always find that birthdays become about parties, they become about gifts, they become about presents and time with the people you love. And those are all really beautiful things. But for me, there are also a time of taking stock, evaluating, auditing and looking at my life, making sure that I'm moving in the direction that I want,

that I'm serving my mission and purpose in the way that I want, and that I'm showing up for myself and the people I love in the way that I want. It's a beautiful annual ritual that I love to do, and I'm so glad I get to share it with you all on the podcast. So here are the top 10 lessons I've learned in the last 12 months. The first one is helping less can actually help more. This one is so hard to say as a coach. It's so hard to say as someone who's always trying to help others. It's so hard to admit as someone who wants to see others grow.

And I'm sure you're the same. When you love someone, when you care about them, you want to help them. You want to be there for them. You want to show up for them. You want to solve all their problems. You want to fix everything. But here's what I've learned. Often when you try to help others, you can actually end up hurting them. You hurt them not because of you helping, but because you're helping ends up enabling them. It ends up making them dependent. It makes them feel that they're inadequate to make the chains themselves. It makes them feel that they can't depend on themselves, they have to depend on you.

It makes them feel that if you're not around, they might not know the answer. Really powerful leaders make people believe in themselves. You're not trying to get people to believe in your advice, to think that you're a great person because you're always around, you want people to reconnect with their own intuition, their own gut instinct. And when you're busy solving, fixing and helping everything, they never get the opportunity to do that. Ask yourself, when you're helping someone, are you giving them the opportunity to help themselves or are you taking it away? When you're trying to support someone. Are you assisting or are you trying to solve everything for them? When you're trying to be

present for someone, are you actually trying to fix and control everything? Or are you just there for a helping hand? It's so counterintuitive, but it's true. Overhelping creates dependency. Studies on learned helplessness show that if you rescue people too often, they stop building resilience. If you always rescue someone when they're in danger, they don't develop the skills themselves. If you always fix things for people, when they're struggling, they don't learn to fix it themselves. If you're always rushing to help someone, when they're going through a challenge, they may lose the ability to help themselves and you may hurt them instead. Your best intention could actually cause someone long-term pain. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is step back and let someone

stumble. Real coaching isn't carrying someone up the mountain. It's reminding them they have legs. We think helping people is always noble, but sometimes help is just disguised control. Think about that for a second. When you jump in too quickly, you teach people. You teach people that they can't handle life without you. When you carry their load, they never build the muscle to carry it themselves. When you do everything for someone, they develop learned helplessness. When people stop trying because someone else always steps in. Your rescuing can rob them of resilience. your fixing can steal their chance to figure it out your guidance can block them from developing their own inner compass helping someone can actually hurt them trying to fix someone can actually make them

feel more broken when you rush to solve you send the hidden message you can't do this without me it can turn love into pity it can turn care into control support doesn't mean solving love doesn't mean fixing compassion doesn't mean control helping someone can hurt them fixing someone can break them carrying someone can weaken them protecting someone can trap them. Saving someone can silence them. People don't grow when you do it for them. They grow when you believe they can do it themselves. They don't need your rescue. They need your trust. They don't need a fixer. They need a witness. Someone to say, I saw you do that. And I'm here to watch you do it again. I'm here to give you a helping hand. if that's what you need right now.

But realizing that you don't want to take away their opportunity. It's almost like saying, hey, I'll be with you at the gym, but I'll lift the weights for you. That wouldn't make any sense, right? I can be with you at the gym, but I can't lift the weights for you. I'll be with you by your side, but I'm going to do the diet for you. It doesn't work that way. You can't transfer your sacrifice into someone else's success. You can't transfer your discipline into someone else's desire.

You can't transfer your work into someone else's worth. It doesn't work that way. They have to have the discipline. They have to do the work. They have to make the sacrifice. You can be there by their side, but you can't do it for them. this is a huge lesson that I've learned this year and I've realized it's a painful one

because my nature is to want to see people reach their potential and I want to speed it up for them I want to solve it for them I want to accelerate it for them but I've seen time and time again that when I step back when I'm present when I'm there that person builds a confidence like they never could have

if I did it for them. And that's actually more beautiful to watch and observe. And I've seen it this year, and I've actually said it to people, hey, I am ready to help you with whatever you need. But one thing I've learned about growth is that I believe you genuinely have the ability to grow yourself. You don't need my advice. You don't need me to tell you what to do.

You actually already know it inside of you. I want you to connect with that. and watch how empowered they feel. Make people believe in them, not in you. That's the goal. Lesson number two is something that I've heard this year that really resonated with me. Saying no is a full sentence.

We think yes keeps relationships alive, but research on boundaries shows the opposite. People who can say no clearly are more trusted. and more respected. Every yes that betrays yourself erodes connection. Every no that protects your truth deepens it. No isn't rejection. It's honesty in its purest form.

Now, we all struggle saying no. Think about the last time you struggled saying no. Saying no is so hard because it triggers the fear of rejection. humans are wired for belonging. Evolutionary psychology shows rejection once meant literal death. Exile from the tribe, you've been kicked out. That wiring hasn't disappeared. Saying no feels dangerous because our brain interprets it as risking disconnection.

Another reason why we struggle to say no is something known as the guilt reflex. When you say no and think about this the next time you do it, especially to people close to you, your brain actually releases the stress hormone cortisol that mimic the discomfort of guilt. This is why so many people, all of us, we over-explain or we apologize, right? We're soothing our own nervous system, not just the other person, because we're now feeling a sense of guilt. But here's what happens when you say no. It builds self-respect. Studies on assertiveness training show people who practice saying no report higher self-esteem and lower anxiety. Every no is a small vote of confidence that your time, energy, and needs

actually matter. This happened to me the other day. I was actually with a friend. I didn't see them for a long time. And they were telling me about some really deep struggles they were having in their life. And someone wonderful came up to the table who wanted a picture and to say hello and I said, hey, I would love to do it right afterwards, but I just need to be present with this person right now. And my heart sank. I didn't want to say no. I get so happy when I bump into you all at airports, restaurants, wherever I am. I love it. I really enjoy seeing you all. And I felt so bad saying, hey, you know what, I'll do it later, but I can't right now because the person I was talking to was sharing some really emotional, difficult stuff that they were going through. And I wanted to be

present for them. But having done that, I could tell how much it meant to the person with me. And I really hope the other person understood. It wasn't that I was being mean. It's not that I didn't want to do it. It was just that I was trying to draw a boundary that was important to me. And it's really hard. It's really hard. Nine out of ten times I would say yes, immediately. But learning to say no was so important. The other thing is that when we say yes without alignment, it actually breeds resentment. Think about this for a second. When your friend asks you for something and you want to say no, but you say yes to people, please, you say yes because you don't want to let them down. You say yes because you know they might overreact. What ends up

happening? In the long term, you end up thinking, God, I hate this person. I've got to go do this thing for them today. I've got to get through this thing today. Oh my God, I've got to do this thing. it's made into resentment. If you say yes without alignment, it actually breeds resentment. Social psychologists find that when people say yes out of obligation, it leads to cognitive dissonance, a clash between values and actions. Over time, this erodes relationships more than an honest no ever could. You think saying no will let the other person down. Well, guess what? When you say yes, when you don't want to, you let yourself down and you let that person down. And in the long term, you actually end up building resentment. It's better to say no and continue to have a relationship

than say yes and resent the relationship. By saying no, you protect the quality of your future yes. People begin to trust your yes more because it's no longer automatic. Boundaries, create credibility. A woman my mom worked with once told me she had spent her entire life saying yes. Yes to family. Yes to her kids. Yes to her community. She was the person everyone leaned on. Birthdays, last minute babysitting, emotional support, loaning money, cooking meals, you name it. If someone asked, she said yes. But behind the yes, she was exhausted. She felt invisible. in her own life. She told me, I didn't even know what I liked anymore. I only knew what everyone else wanted. One day, her daughter asked her to watch the grandkids again, after she had already

cancelled planned twice that week to help. Something inside her broke for the first time in 30 years. She said, no, not today, I need rest. Her door was shocked, upset. Upset. even guilted her. And that old fear came flooding in. What if she loved me less? What if I'm needed less? But something surprising happened. The world didn't fall apart. Her daughter figured it out. And for the first time she spent the day doing something just for herself, reading, walking and sleeping without apology. And later her daughter admitted, at first I was mad. But then I realized you've never said no to me. You deserve to. That single no rewired the entire family dynamic. Her daughter stopped assuming she'd always be available. Her grandchildren learned

by example that boundaries are normal. And the woman herself, she told me that no felt more like love than all the yeses I gave for decades. Saying yes constantly. had made her resentful. Saying no finally made her relationships more honest. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for others is to stop betraying yourself. Learn to say no. Learn to say not now. Learn to say this doesn't work for me. Learn to say, I can't carry that today. Learn to say, I can't carry that today. Learn to say I need space. Learn to say, I've changed my mind. Learn to say, I've changed my mind. Learn to say I deserve better. Learn to say yes only when your whole self agrees. Because every fake yes is a quiet betrayal and every honest no is an act of respect for you and for them. Lesson number three

that I've learned in the last 12 months is your attention is your real bank account. I noticed a few years ago how when I started using TikTok, my attention started to diminish. And it took a lot of effort to bring it back. I was someone who loved reading books. I was someone who loved getting into deep journals and articles. And all of a sudden, I saw myself looking for eight seconds of joy, entertainment, and speed of consumption. And I started to realize, my attention is my real bank account, because what makes or breaks your life is where you spend your attention. Cognitive psychology calls this attentional control, and it predicts success better than IQ. Think about it. Billionaires go bankrupt, but someone who can direct their

focus can rebuild. Your attention isn't just currency, it's compound interest. Neuroscientists call our attention a limited resource. Every time you focus, you spend mental energy, like money. You can invest it, waste it, or lose it. Unlike money, you can never get it back. Psychologists have found that people who learn to direct their attention intentionally, what they read, what they notice, who they give time to, predict life satisfaction more than income or IQ.

you. Stop wasting your attention on people who don't value yours. Stop wasting your attention on problems you can't control. Stop wasting your attention on scrolling through strangers' lives. Stop wasting your attention. It is your greatest wealth. When I think about my attention, I think about it like my bank balance. There's only a limited amount you have to spend. How are you going to use it? How are you going to direct it? How are you going to focus it? How are you going to allow yourself to not be consumed by unnecessary things? Let's say someone did something really bad to you. Let's say someone wronged you. How much time do I want to waste trying to solve that? How much energy do I want to spend trying to get an apology?

How much time am I willing to give away and never get back, hoping that person will realize what they did was wrong? We waste hours, days, weeks of our life on things that won't make a difference. The next time you're upset by something, ask yourself, do I really care? Even if I get the result I want, will it really matter? or is there a better use of my time? Is there a better use of my energy?

Before we continue, let's take a quick breather and listen to some of our sponsors. Hey, it's Jay Shetty and I'm so excited to share we're launching a brand new subscription on Apple Podcasts. That means if you want more on purpose, more inspiration, more tools, more depth, you now have the option to subscribe and unlock bonus content from our incredible

guests. And don't worry, the main show is still free for everyone. But if you're someone who wants to go even deeper and support the show, this is for you. Just hit try free on Apple Podcasts and join our growing community of purpose-driven listeners. I can't wait for you to check it out. I'm Radhi Dvlukia and I'm the host of a really good cry podcast and I have the opportunity to talk to Logan Yuri. Logan is a dating expert, a behavioral scientist, a best-selling author and someone who is seriously changing the way we think about love and dating. In our conversation, we talk all things dating, that Logan has studied and tested from what to put in your dating profile, the pictures you should and shouldn't be using, to the conversation starters that

actually work. And the huge no-noes that people probably do not realize are reducing their chances of success on apps. Whether you're single, dating, or just trying to be more intentional in love, Logan offers the kind of clarity we all need. Relationships do require work and the best relationships are people who really work on them together. They're so focused on, if I find the perfect person, then I'll have the perfect relationship instead of understanding really that they can choose someone great and then build that relationship together. They don't need to keep searching for perfection. Listen to a really good cry on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing

without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of family secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. Welcome to the U versus you podcast. I'm Lex Barrero, and every week we sit down with some of the biggest names in entertainment to talk about the real stuff, the struggles, the doubts, and the breakthroughs that made them who they are. We go deep, exploring childhood trauma, family, overcoming loss, and the moments that shape their journey. These honest conversations are meant to take the cape off our heroes, with the hope that their humanity inspires you to become a better you and therefore set you free to live the life of your dreams. Here's a sneak peek.

I'm trained to go compete. I'm trained to be, like, go harder. But sometimes that mentality stops you from stopping and smelling the flowers in your own gardens. Is it wrong to want more? We migrated. Our family migrated here. I'm like second generation. Who not going to have a trauma

coming from a country, exanjero, and you to States? And listen to you versus you as part of Michael Tutta Podcast Network, available on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back. Now let's continue this incredible conversation. Lesson number four is that achievement

without alignment feels like failure. We think success guarantees fulfillment. But psychology shows when your achievements don't match your values, they feel hollow. That's why people hit milestones, the promotion, the house, the wedding, and feel emptier than ever. It's not that the house, the wedding or the milestone wasn't important, it's that did you connect to your values? Success without alignment isn't success. When actions and values don't match, the brain experiences internal conflict. For example, I value family, but I spend all my time at work. I value creativity, but my role only rewards efficiency. This dissonance, This distance creates stress, anxiety, and eventually burnout, even in successful people.

This is what I've learned this year that really blew my mind. I want you to remember this. You'll become successful by what you get. You will become happy by what you lose. When you get a new job, a promotion, a new level, You'll feel successful, but you'll only feel happy when you lose, when you lose envy, when you lose ego, when you lose greed. It's when we lose that we become happy. Because for years, I used to hear people say money doesn't buy happiness.

And I used to think to myself, well, it's really easy because the people who often say that, the ones with money. And so that didn't make sense to me. And also, I saw people with money who are happy. without money who are happy. So I said, okay, well, that doesn't make sense either. So what was it? What I saw is that it didn't matter what you did have or didn't have in terms of things, in terms of success. But it did matter what you did or didn't have internally. So if you had money, but you had envy, you weren't happy. And if you had money but you didn't have envy, you could be happy. It was the lack of envy and the lack of ego that guaranteed happiness no matter what

position you were in. Because those were the two traits that pushed away love and relationships. If you're egotistical, you turn people off because now they don't want to be around you. And if you're envious, you get turned off by people that you don't want to be around. when you have arrogance and ego and bravado you push people away when you have envy you do the same thing you can't be friends with someone you're envious of and no one wants to be friends with you when you're egotistical you lose the most valuable part of human life which is human connection and relationships when these two qualities take over your life as much as we're working on what we get we have to work on what we want to lose.

Mastering ego and mastering envy are a daily practice. They're a daily habit. You will be so much happier if you reduce your envy. You'll be so much happier if you reduce your ego, not just increase your output, not just increase your productivity,

not just increase your efficiency. I promise you, give attention to that part of your life. I focus on that part of my life a lot. I call it the seeds and weeds. I think about envy and ego like weeds in the garden of my life that I have to uproot, that I have to take out, that I have to purify. And you feel so much better for it. Lesson number five, the people who frustrate you teach you the most about you. Annoyances aren't random. Psychologists call it projective identification. The traits we can't stand and others often mirrors parts of ourselves we haven't accepted.

That controlling boss, maybe it reflects your own fear of letting go. People are mirrors, not just irritants. It doesn't mean that they don't have that problem and what you're seeing isn't real. It's that you may have it too. Your triggers are your teachers. Your jealousy is your guide. Your anger is your mirror. Your irritation shows you your wounds.

Your defensiveness reveals your fear. Your impatience exposes your expectations. Your sadness highlights your values. Every reaction is a revelation. Every trigger is a teacher. Life will keep sending you the same lesson until you learn from it. Lesson number six, kindness is remembered longer than achievement.

Ask people about their mentors or loved ones, and they rarely recall accomplishments. I doubt you'll end up at a funeral and hear about someone's accomplishments. I doubt you'll end up at a 70th birthday and hear about someone's accomplishments. I was actually just at a dear family friend's 70th birthday a couple of weeks ago. No one talked about his achievements, and he has plenty. They recalled moments of kindness. They record moments of genuine, sincere connection. Behavioral science shows emotional memory, outlasts factual memory.

People forget what you achieved. they don't forget how affectionate you were. People will remember when you were kind. People will remember when you were caring. People will remember when you listened without rushing them. People will remember when you showed up when no one else did. People will remember when you forgave them at their lowest. people will remember when you believed in them before anyone else did people will remember when you stayed calm while they fell apart people will remember when you gave them dignity instead of judgment they may forget your wins they may forget your work but they won't forget your energy and even if they do forget all of those things there'll be one that remember

And the most important thing, you will have lived a clean energetic life. We don't do those things to be remembered for those things. We do those things so that we can go to sleep peacefully. You clean your energy internally so that you can live in a clean place. Right, you don't clean your home just because people are coming over. You clean it so that you can live in a clean home. You don't clean your mind for everyone else. You do it because you want to live in a clean place. It's a huge one. Lesson number seven. People change more from being understood than being corrected.

We think people need better arguments. In truth, people need better listeners. Studies on motivational interviewing show people change when they feel heard, not when they're lectured. Understanding opens the door that correction keeps locked. sometimes the best people get the worst of us and the worst people get the best of us the kindest people get our pain and the meanest people get our joy the real ones get our silence and the fake ones get our performance the loyal ones get our doubts and the disloyal ones get our trust the ones who stay get

our frustration and the ones who leave get our patience. We give our apologies to strangers and our harshest words to the ones closest. We hide our tenderness from the safe ones and hand out our smiles to the ones who've hurt us. That's the tragedy of human behavior. We misplace our best energy. What I've realized is that we all lecture the people closest to us. We think if we tell them what to do, they'll finally get it right. The reality is people are looking to be validated, heard, and seen. You may say, I know what they're going through, but have you ever asked them? Have you ever talked to your partner and just said, I want to hear from your side how this feels?

I want to know why it is that you keep struggling with this. Not in a demanding way, in a curious way, in a genuine way. Remember, people change more from being understood. than being corrected. People change more from being loved than from being hated. People change more from being validated than pushed and judged. Lesson number eight, this one blew my mind. And it's from one of my favorite authors of all time. We remember endings more than middles. It sounds obvious, but stay with me for how it applies to life. Psychologist Daniel Carneman has a rule called his peak end rule.

And it shows that we judge experiences not by how long they lasted, but by the peak moment and the ending moment. That's why a single kind goodbye or one cruel exit defines the whole relationship in our memory. The peak end rule is a psychological principle, discovered by Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman and his colleague Amos Tversky. It says, we don't judge an experience by its average or total duration. We judge it by two moments. One, the peak, the most intense spot, whether good or bad.

And number two, the end. How the experience concluded. Everything else fades into the background. So Kahneman did a famous cold. water experiment that proved this. Participants put their hand in painfully cold water for 60 seconds. In a second trial, they put their hand in cold water for 90 seconds. But in the last 30 seconds, the water was made slightly warmer. It was still cold, but a little less painful. Logically, the second trial should be worse, 90 seconds of pain instead of 60. But most people preferred the

the longer trial, because the ending was less painful. The brain didn't remember the full timeline. It remembered the peak and the end. Now, what does this mean for us in our life and our relationships? One cruel goodbye can overshadow years of love. I'm sure there's someone that you loved on, that you cared about, that you did so much for, but because you didn't end on good terms, they hate you, right? Because you didn't end on good terms, they talk bad about you. Because you didn't end on good terms, they say hurtful things about you to everyone else. Right? I'm sure you can relate. And one kind act at the end of someone's life can heal decades of distance. We don't carry the full record. We carry the peak and the ending. Now, how does this apply to work? People rarely

remember the dozens of average meetings. They remember the one inspiring keynote and how they felt when they left the company. And what about daily experiences? Whether it's vacations, weddings, concerts, people remember the highlight moment. And the final moments, a bad flight home can sour the whole vacation. We think life is measured in hours and days.

But memory measures life in moments and endings. End things well. always leave people and places better and happier than you find them don't let things end on a bad note number two design peaks don't aim to make everything perfect create intentional moments a surprise note an unexpected thank you one unforgettable experience peaks matter more than perfection number three manage endings in conflict, even if a conversation is hard, end it with respect. Simply by saying, I care about you, even if we disagree, can change how the entire interaction is remembered. So there you have it. Those are the lessons that I have learned in the last 12

months. And as every important teacher has said before, you repeat what you don't repair. You repeat what you don't reflect on. You repeat what you don't release. You repeat what you don't reveal. You repeat what you don't reframe. You repeat what you don't respect in yourself. And you repeat what you don't take responsibility for. Patterns don't disappear with time.

They disappear with work. So I hope you always remember to try and do that on your birthday. Take a moment to do it. I hope these have helped. Thank you so much for listening and watching. Remember, I'm forever in your corner and I'm always rooting for you. If you love this podcast, you'll love my episode with Lewis Hamilton. Lewis and I talk about why you should stop chasing society's definition of success

and how to be more intentional with your goals. You don't want to miss it. Like, it's not about being perfect. It's about just every day, one step at a time, trying to be better, trying to do more. I'm learning a lot about myself. I have to break myself down in order to be able to be better. Hey, I'm Radhdi Dvlukaya, and I'm the host of a really good cry podcast. And I have the opportunity to talk to Vivian too. Whether you're trying to get out of debt, build wealth, negotiate like a boss, or just finally understand how to do money right, Vivian is the person to ask. Not understanding your own money and not understanding finances, there is risk for financial abuse. Yeah.

And that is why every single woman needs to be good with money. Listen to a really good cry on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What happens when we come face to face with death? My truck was blown up by a 20-pound anti-taint mine. My parachute did not deploy. I was kidnapped by a drug cartel. When we stepped beyond the edge of what we know. I clinically died, the heart stopped beating.

Which I was dead for 11.5 minutes. In return. It's a miracle I was born. I draw it back. Alive Again. A podcast about the strength of the human spirit. Listen to Alive Again on the IHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. This week on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Handler. Marin Morris is here. You came out of a marriage. You came out of quote unquote country music. And you had a huge growth spurt from what I can tell. I was expanding and growing at a really fast pace. And yes, you could throw motherhood and the postpartum thing, learning about myself. There were a lot of, like, identity crises going on, but I realized, like, I can't look back and slow down for people. Listen to Dear Chelsea on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.