On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 3 Effective Ways to Turn Your Life Around & Why Continuous Learning Is Necessary for Personal Growth with Novak Djokovic

Episode Date: June 23, 2023

Are you in a life crisis where you are being pressured into committing to a life changing career that you aren't interested in? Is it making you question your future goals and the path you want to take? Then this episode can help you. Today, we will explore the fundamental aspects of personal growth, purpose, and self-mastery that will ignite a fire within you. I am overjoyed to share the conversation I had with Serbian professional tennis player Novak Djokovic. Beyond his on-court achievements, Djokovic is known for his resilience, mental toughness, and dedication to his craft.  Novak and I exchange thoughts and opinions on the hidden potential of repetition and reminders as we unravel the importance they hold in our lives, the profound truth that self-mastery is not a mere part-time endeavor but a lifelong commitment, and how self-awareness is a transformative journey that involves accepting not just who we are but also who we are not. We also touch on my personal journey as a monk and how to unlock the transformative wisdom of the monk mindset as we explore the three fundamental aspects that define it.  In this interview, you will learn: - The hidden potential of repetition and daily reminders - How to navigate the pressures of societal expectations - Why self-mastery is not a part-time endeavor - How to navigate the pain and liberation of truly understanding our authentic selves - How to find joy and fulfillment in doing what we genuinely love - The positive effects of daily meditation Don't miss this opportunity to embark on a transformative adventure of self-discovery, purpose, and resilience.  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:00 Why is repetition and reminder important for all of us? 01:30 Growing up in a society where success and achievement is seen as a metric of growth 07:27 Self mastery isn’t a part time job, it is a commitment and a lifestyle 10:49 The painful thing about self-awareness is accepting who you are not 20:46 Are you doing it to become big and famous or are you doing it because you enjoy doing it? 24:24 There are 3 aspects to purpose and what we can learn from it 33:25 What are the three aspects of the monk mindset and how can you learn it? 37:01 Let’s do a quick meditation session 48:22 Is there an endpoint to your purpose? 53:22 How do you balance making a living and living your purpose? 55:22 How do you stay calm during the time of failure? How do you build your self-belief? Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I am Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. This season we dive deeper into highlighting red flags and spotting a narcissist before they spot you. Each week you'll hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and their process of healing. Listen to Navigating Narcissism on the iHeartRad Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Debbie Brown, host of the Deeply Well podcast, where we hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness around topics that are meant to expand and support

you on your wellbeing journey. Deeply well is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is available now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Namaste. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season.

And yet, we're constantly discovering new secrets. The variety of them continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share 10 incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, I'm so excited because we're going to be adding a really special offering onto the back of my solo episodes

on Fridays. The Daily J is a daily series on calm and it's meant to inspire you while outlining tools and techniques to live a more mindful, stress-free life. We dive into a range of topics and the best part is, each episode is only seven minutes long, so you can incorporate it into your schedule no matter how busy you are. As a dedicated part of the on-purpose community, I wanted to do something special for you this year, so I'll be playing a hand-picked daily J during each of my Friday podcasts. This week, we're talking about your habits and how to develop better daily routines. Of course, if you want to listen to the daily J every day, you can subscribe to Calm.

So go to Calm.com forward slash J for 40% off your membership today. I would like to start off by asking you J about your journey. You were born in Great Britain, in Great Britain, born and raised in London, and you were kind of leading in a certain kind of life that went in a certain kind of direction, and then a transformation happened, and you've decided to go on a spiritual journey for three years if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, three years. So maybe can you lead us through the whole process because it's really interesting to hear. Yeah, for sure. And I agree with you perfectly that when we share our journeys, it's only to give voice to everyone else's journey.

And I always think one day that everyone should try and write about their lives, not because they want to have a best-selling book or they want it to sell across the world. But when you write about their lives, not because they wanna have a best-selling book or they wanted to sell across the world, but when you write about your lives, your family learns about you. Sometimes I think my parents have been through so much, but I wish they wrote about it because I wanna learn about them.

So one of the things for me is I obviously are born and raised in London, and I grew up in a society where success and achievement was seen as the metric of growth. That was the metric of happiness. It was how successful were you? How much money did you make? What kind of job did you have? What status did you have?

That's the kind of culture I grew up in. And I often joke that growing up I had three options. I could either be a doctor, a lawyer, or a failure. Those were my three options because all my cousins and my family members were in medicine, there were pharmacists, they were in law. And so I grew up in that kind of culture and environment.

And I saw myself as a young person always drawn to things like art and philosophy and psychology and the mind. Like I was fascinated by those things. I wasn't fascinated by science and math. I was more fascinated by history. And so I saw myself very early on being very different to the people around me.

And I think that everyone who's listening right now, everyone can relate to that. Then maybe when you were growing up, there was something that was unique about you. There was something different about you and there was a path that you were being encouraged to do. So at my time when I was growing up in London, the number one career was to be an investment banker.

Everyone was aspiring to be an investment banker. This is before the crash, the Lehman Brothers and the Recession in 2007. So this is before that. And so everyone in my circle, whenever we talk about someone in family, especially in the Indian culture, it would be very much like, oh, he's an investment banker, he makes this money, etc, etc, etc. And I got to a point where I saw myself trying to move away from wanting to chase material success because I started looking around and I was seeing that people who had material success even little amounts

They weren't necessarily happier than anyone else now when I was 18 I used to go and hear a lot of celebrities athletes Influences speak and I would love to hear them speaking This is why I love your story so much and why the podcast for me was so powerful because what you've been through Is just people kind of imagine right you think odd no actually probably just trains he was given this god-given talent of being an amazing tennis player and now he's famous and he's successful it's like but you grew up in one of the most troubled times in one of the most troubled countries and what you've seen and experience is like no one would want to go through that.

So for me, I was inspired by hearing these rags to riches stories. I was always inspired by people who went from nothing to something and I would go to hear them speak. And then once I was told that a monk had been invited to speak and I was thinking to myself, who wants to learn from a monk? Like, what am I going to learn from a monk? Like, what is a monk know? They just went from nothing to nothing. Like, what, you know, what, what do they have to share? And I had all these judgmental thoughts about monks and spirituality and religion. And I was just like, well, what did they know? Like, what did they achieved in the world? And anyway, my friends forced me. And I said to them, I'll only go if we go to a bar afterwards, right? If we go to a bar or a club afterwards, I'll come, listen to whatever this guy has to say, and then we'll go and have fun.

And so I went to this event and it's funny that the best moments of your life are also the most humbling, because I was blown away when I heard this monk speak. And the reason I was blown away is because he very clearly said that the greatest goal in life is to use your talents and gifts to serve the world. He said people think that their greatest goal in life is to use their talents and gifts to become successful. He said, no, it's actually to become a server of other people. And I'm 18 years old and I'm thinking, wow, that's really powerful. And I thought about this when I was 18, and you can think about this when you're listening and watching right now, when I was 18, I'd met people who are rich, I'd met people who are beautiful,

I'd met people who are famous, I'd met people who are talented, but I don't think I'd met anyone who is truly happy. And he was happy. He had that, he had that calmness, he had that gentleness, he had that happiness around him. And at 18, I was like, that's what I want. I want that. I want to feel like that. And so I spent all my summer vacations, half of them I would intern at a corporate institution. I would work in the city of London.

I'd wear my suits, I'd hang out in steak houses, we'd with good bars, I'd be number crunching away, doing financial work, and then the other half of my summer vacations, I would spend living with him in India as a monk. And then when I graduated, I decided that I preferred the monk life to the management and their business life. And so I chose to go off and do that as a real monk for three years. And so for me, it wasn't about me being spiritual. It wasn't about me being deep or inquisitive or religious. I wasn't any of those things. But I knew very early on that I wanted meaning,

passion and purpose in my life more than the other stuff. And that the other stuff is not that it's not important. It's that it didn't have meaning without this thing and this monk really showed me that. So that's kind of to the monk life? Like you were doing that kind of like half, half in a way, kind of testing it out. But what attracted you to monk life more than sort of say modern contemporary life that we have in the cities. I think it was the belief that if I was really going to master my mind, if I was really going to overcome my ego, if I was really going to work on self-mastering,

the self-mastery project, if I was really going to master myself, it couldn't be a part-time job. It couldn't be a weekends thing. It couldn't be like, I'll do it tomorrow evening. It had to be a real commitment because I could very clearly see that I, and I still have, right? I've not overcome my ego. I'm still working on self mastery. It's not like it was all solved. But I knew that if I was going to accelerate that journey, it required a concentrated approach, just like in tennis. You, you know that you don't become the best tennis player in the world by playing on

Saturday afternoon. And it's the same thing with self-mastery. You don't begmask the mind by practicing on Sunday morning. You have to make it a lifestyle. So that was one thing. The second thing was that I realized I really wanted to serve and give back. And I loved that the monks I was living with were feeding and disrein kids to, disrein fruit sorry to kids on the streets of India.

They were building schools and villages to provide this ecosystem for people to live better lives. And I got so moved by wanting to do service. And I was thinking, that's what I want to do full time. I want to do service. And to be honest, I also had a few relationships that didn't work out. So I was like, maybe's what I want to do full time. I want to do service. And to be honest, I also had a few relationships that didn't work out. So I was like, maybe this is going to be easier.

Yeah, maybe becoming a monk is going to be easier than feeling time. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Some break up healing time because I kept going through so many failed relationships. So that was definitely a part of it as well. Wonderful. And so when you were there going through your transformational spiritual journey,

when did you come to realization what will your life look like post being a monk? Like, when did you feel that you will come back to say normal life, whatever that is, going to to to to to states and and starting what you what you started. Now you have your videos have been watched more than more than billion times. You've been chosen in the 30, under 30 in Forbes, most influential people. I mean, you are motivational speaker to millions and millions of people around the world. I mean, how did this come about? I mean, you literally created that from scratch. I think that there's something very, very powerful in that.

And I always love hearing about these stories and journeys that have been built from the foundation up all the way. You haven't inherited anything, you created something that when you were 18 or 19, when you moved to pursue your spiritual journey, you didn't know what that's going to look like. So how did that all? Journey you didn't know wonder that's gonna look like so how did that all share? Yeah great question. Yeah great question so One of the first things I'd say is that I actually know that when I lived as a monk I wanted to be a monk for the rest of my life and That was genuinely like in my heart. I was like I want to do this forever and as a monk one day

I'll travel the world and I'll share this message. That was my in my head That was my belief because I was like I'm gaining so much from this practice and this path. And then as a monk, I will travel and I will share these teachings. So I always had a desire to share these teachings, but I always thought I'd share them as a monk. Now, as my monk journey went on, I came to the realization that I didn't belong there. See, this is the interesting thing. Monk life gives you more self awareness. And the painful thing about that self awareness is then you have to accept what you're not. You have to accept who you are and who you're becoming and what you're not. And I realized that my desire to want to be out in the world

and share this message and connect with people like yourself who are spreading spirituality, even through tennis,, I had this desire and I knew that I had to fulfill that desire. And at the same time, without even saying this to my teachers and my mentors, they also said to me that we think you have a purpose beyond this space. And this is the powerful thing about mentors and coaches. And I know you have lots of mentors and coaches and guides. I'm a big proponent of two types of mentors. So in the Vedas there's two types of mentors. It's called Vani and Vapu. Vani is the mentor that you learn from that you

don't meet. It's the mentor that you have through books, through podcasts, through listening, through teaching, through inspiration. And Vapu is the mentor that you actually meet and you know them and they know you. And so these two types of mentors are talked about and I believe that you can be mentored by reading about someone's life even if you've never met them. And you can also be mentored directly. So mentors are really powerful and my mentors, my monk mentors, they saw they were like, no, you've got a different path. So anyway, when I first moved back to London, my Monk mentors, they saw they were like, no, you've got a different path.

So anyway, when I first moved back to London, I was around 25, 26 years old. This was in 2013. And if I'm honest, I was in completely the lowest point in my life because I felt like I'd failed being a monk. So a lot of my friends were like, oh yeah, you're back now. You didn't make it as a monk. Who fails at being a monk? A lot of my family was like, oh, what are you going to do now? You're not going to get a job. You haven't worked it as a monk who fails at being a monk a lot of my family was like, oh, what are you gonna do now?

You're not gonna get a job you haven't worked for three years So I came back to all this negativity and and I was feeling so judged that I've failed in life and I was feeling that myself And that's when all my monk training actually helped me because at my lowest point That's when the meditation that's when the, and I know you've talked about this, when you're about to lose a game, that's when your mental mastery, your strategy, that's when it really kicks in, when you're down, and you're about to lose that point,

that's when your mind really kicks in. So that's how I felt that I was in this process and this part of my life. Now, how it changed is I always have this intention that I wanted to share with the world. And in London, I was coaching companies, I was coaching individuals, I was sharing this in small groups and small circles.

Sometimes for free, sometimes with work, sometimes corporate companies and it was all growing. But I had this feeling inside myself that this knowledge is the property of everyone. I want everyone to have this. And we're not seeing it everywhere yet. We're still seeing it in companies. We're seeing it in elite circles, but we're not seeing it everywhere. I was like, that kid that's struggling with their mind. I want them to have access to it. And I thought, how do we do that? And I thought video

and social media was a powerful way to reach people for free and to give them access to all of this. So anyway, in 2015, end of 2015, me and my friend went out on the streets of London and we filmed four videos. And I had no strategy, I had no game plan. I just knew that I wanted to make videos that started a conversation.

And we put out these videos and in three months, Ariana Huffington saw the videos. And she became my first public supporter of the content I was making. And I'm very grateful to her for that. She saw my videos and she said, we should share this on the Huffington Post page. And so she started sharing these videos on the Huffington Post page. And the videos went viral overnight at that time. So they got tens of millions of views at that time. And for me, I was just making these videos in my bedroom.

I would come home from my day job. I was working as a consultant at Accenture. I would come home in the evening. I would edit for five hours a day, five days a week to make one five minute video. I taught myself how to do it. And so for me, it just completely transformed my life. And then from then on, I got more focused and strategic about the fact that people wanted this even more.

And I continue not only to make videos, we launched the podcast because I wanted conversation. So me and you had become friends. And we'd been talking back and forth. And I was just like, me and you had become friends and we'd been talking back and forth. And I was just like, wait a minute, most people probably don't even know that Novak is so deep and spruge you and like focus on mastery. I was like, people should know this. They will inspire them so much because you inspire millions of people by being one of the most talented players of all time. So people are like, yeah, I want to learn from him.

And then when I interviewed you, people got to see, oh wow, Novak is so much more than a tennis player. And I was like, ah, this is what we need to show people. We need to show people how powerful the people that they look up to are. So you gave me, you were one of my, I think you were my second guest on the podcast. Yes, one of my first guests. One of my first guests. And I'm so grateful to you because you gave me the opportunity to show people and if

you didn't say yes, maybe I would have had to wait, but you gave me the opportunity to show people that athletes are doing so much work in the background that people don't see. Absolutely and your podcast has reached one million views daily. And I mean that's incredible. I mean, that's amazing. And you've had some really inspiring people from various fields of life. And I remember that after you've interviewed me,

you went to see Mario Gette, a football player from Gisborne. Mario is that we got in touch, you connected us and it was really interesting in my own world, in athletes world, to really connect with people that are like-minded and like-minded. Yeah, and your big, big, big, big wave and hug to Mario. He is also someone that is sharing that message. It's beautiful to see. Louis Hamilton is also someone that shares that message of spirituality,

being genuine, being kind, being aware, and being mindful of how you live and that everything in your lifestyle affects not only your performance, your health, but just millions of people around the world that are following you. So you do serve as a great example, not only by performing well and by being a champion in your sport, but also you have an opportunity to spread the message and to spread the awareness about some really important things and some really noble things. When you see things from a larger perspective, it allows you to reflect on yourself and your life

to understand that we are all connected and we are all dependent from one another. We have our individual journeys and of course we do care about ourselves and our closest people our family the most But at the same time we we I feel like we need to be conscious of The effect that we have in our community and the community in our city in city in our country And it's all it all travels very fast. So, I think especially nowadays with internet and possibility to share the message through video vlogs,

video blogs or through lives like this one, and interviews, or whatever. Instagram is a great platform where you can share your interest and your hobbies and your life and your philosophy through images, through photos and through colors, which I think is beautiful. So, we have social media, we have internet that allows us to express ourselves, you know. And I think that's a huge quantum leap forward for people to really connect even more, you know, in only a couple of decades. So, you know, so talking about that connection, I'm really interested when you came back to London.

And when you started, as you said, you know, doing training with corporations and some companies and stuff like this, when did you know that, when did you connect with your purpose of that you have today? When did you know that, that's something that you definitely you know it resonated strongly and you knew deep in your heart and in your mind that you're going to be where you are today. That's a great question really really great question and I say that I started teaching and sharing when I was 18 years old so straight off the meeting the monk, when I came back from my first trip to India, I set up a society at university called Think Out Loud.

And every single week, I would discuss a new theme or topic just like this. And I would dissect it from a psychological, spiritual, scientific, and human behavior level. And I would talk. And when we started, we had like 10 people coming every week. And when I finished university, we had like 100 people coming every week and when I finished university we had like 100 people coming every week and it was totally free, it was for students only and it was just such a beautiful way to connect with people.

And so when I started sharing again and I started to feel like this is just what I was born to do and meant to do and I really felt that in my heart the day it happened was I remember I sat down with one of my mentors and he said to me, he said, Jay, do you only want to do this if one day, and he literally put it like this, he said, do you only want to do this if one day this is big and you're famous and you're known for it and it's huge or do you want to do this even if you can just make ends meet and live off it and do it, do it just for yourself. And I said to them, I'll do it even for that second reason. I said to them, even if this doesn't go anywhere and it doesn't get big and it doesn't become huge or

whatever, I will happily do it just because I get happiness from doing it. And it seems to help a few people. And that was the moment I knew that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, because I got so much joy from there. I got so much gratitude from it. And the people that were listening and were coming to the events, they were gaining so much from me, even if there were small groups of people. And then what happened is, when I took my first leap,

and I think everyone can relate to this, this is our life is, you're either just about to take a leap and a risk, or you've just taken one. And that's the kind of where all our challenges in life are. Either you're just about to take a risk and you're scared about that, or you've just taken a risk and now you're scared that you just took it. And so for me, I remember when I was taking this risk of quitting my full-time corporate job to do what I do now. When I did that, and I saw every time I took a leap closer to what was my passion

and purpose, the world helped me and the universe helped me. And if you want to call it God, God helped me. So what I saw was that there's a beautiful verse in the Vedas and it says, when you protect your purpose, your purpose protects you. And I love that verse because it's so true that our purpose is like this rare jewel that everyone will tell you that it's worthless. Everyone tell you it doesn't matter. Everyone tells you it doesn't count, everyone tells you it's not good enough, and therefore you have to protect it. And when you protect it, the universe protects you. And I feel every time I take a leap towards my purpose, and I have taken big leaps in my life, my purpose comes back and protection. And that's when I got the confidence that

this is what I'm really meant to do because I failed at a lot of stuff. But when I saw momentum here, I was like, ah, this is interesting. I felt at so many things, this is actually going in the right direction. There's something here. Do you feel that the purpose is something that will help people and encourage them to make that leap and make that risk? encourage them to make that leap and make that risk.

And if so, how do we, as people find the purpose? Yeah, yeah, really good. So the way I've been explaining it recently is that there's three aspects to purpose. There's interest, there's passion, and then there's purpose. Interest is like a baby. When the interest grows a little bit, and it becomes a teenager. It's a passion Mm-hmm. And then when it grows some more it becomes an adult. It's a purpose So the seed of purpose is interest the seed of purpose is the baby of just having interest in something

So it's not that you were as good as you are at tennis. And I'm sure, well, no, I'm interested. Do you think you love tennis more now, or when you are a baby? That's amazing. By the way, it's an amazing analogy because it's so true. Because I can definitely identify my career and my journey with the analogy that you just presented. Because when I started dreaming about professional tennis, about winning Wimbledon, the most recognized tennis tournament in the world in the history of

our sport, when I was a teenager, when I started to feel that I'm becoming strong enough to compete with professionals, I don't want to say the only thing, but probably most of my thinking and most of my visualization was going towards me winning the trophy, me accomplishing my goals and my dreams. My dream was becoming the number one player in the world and holding a Wimbledon trophy. When I was seven, I was making this improvised Wimbledon trophies for all of these materials that I had on the table and looking myself in the mirror and saying, you're a Wimbledon champion one day.

I was seven. So, I do believe I'm a strong proponent and supporter of dreams and chasing your dream and everything is possible, nothing is impossible. And I felt it on my own skin. But going back to the interest, there's a baby of purpose, you're right, because for me, it was about winning, winning, winning, so it was my self-interest. It was my interest to accomplish my own dreams and my own goals and my own visions, of course,

with my parents, they were there, the biggest supporters, and a very limited amount of people around me when I was growing up. And but then obviously, I start to feel that that's, at the same time it was always a passion and love because I really enjoyed playing tennis and for the sake of holding a racket in my hands and just being out there.

I never had an issue of really hating tennis or of course we all have days where we feel less of doing something that is our love and passion, but I felt that the passion or desire was always there and the flame was inside. But the purpose for me was strongly related to that interest, right? And then going back to the beginning when you said, you know, when you're listened to the monk speak about service as being the biggest priority and the biggest satisfaction, you know, and the biggest purpose in the life, that's something that I start to feel only later, kind of meet-way through my career where I start to feel,

okay, well, this is, yes, that's my purpose, but it kind of originates from the self-interest. But now my purpose, all of a sudden, is changing form. And now it's about service. And now I'm using the platform, of course, partly a platform of playing tennis. I mean, still competing professionally. And because I see it as a platform where I'm able to grow, where I feel that with, you know, all the suppressed programs, fears, emotions are surfacing, like nowhere else in my life. So tennis court for me is in a way a battlefield and a classroom.

And at the same time, I do feel that tennis is a whole and as a platform allows me to share with people my passion, these kind of things, you know, these kind of lives. And I try to always have it back on my mind, the amount especially of young people that are following me, that are watching tennis, and watching every athlete, because athletes are so blessed to have millions, if not billions of people around the world following them, idolizing them. And so I see this as a great responsibility, if you know what I mean. Because purpose is a responsibility as well, if it's service. But even if it's interest, it's still a responsibility the way I see it, because it is responsibility

towards yourself. But if the purpose originates from service, it's a responsibility towards yourself and towards others. And that's when you fully complete the cycle and that's where you feel abundance inside. I'm Mungeshia Tikhler and to be honest, I don't believe in astrology but from the moment I was born it's been a part of my life. In India it's like smoking.

You might not smoke but you're going to get secondhand astrology. And lately I've been wondering if the universe has been trying to tell me to stop running and pay attention because maybe there is magic in the stars if you're willing to look for it. So I rounded up some friends and we dove in and let me tell you, it got weird fast. Tantric curses, major league baseball teams, cancelled marriages, K-pop! But just what I thought I had to handle on this sweet and curious show about astrology, my whole world can crash down. It's just a little bit more of a story. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be going to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive and the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season 2 of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved by the Tinder Swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty

for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify the narcissist in your life. Each week, you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Not too long ago, in the heart of the Amazon Rainforest, this explorer stumbled upon something that would change his life. I saw it and I saw, oh wow, this is a very unusual situation. It was cacao, the tree that gives us chocolate. But this cacao was unlike anything experts had seen, or tasted. I've never wanted us to have a gun fight.

I mean, you saw the stacks of cash in our office. Chocolate sort of forms this vortex. It sucks you in. It's like I can be the queen of wild chocolate. We're all lost, it was madness. It was a game changer. People quit their jobs. They left their lives behind, so they could search for more of this stuff.

I wanted to tell their stories, so I followed them deep into the jungle, and it wasn't always pretty. Basically, this like disgruntled guy and his family surrounded the building arm with machetes. And we've heard all sorts of things that, you know, somebody got shot over this. Sometimes I think, oh, all this for a damn bar of chocolate. Listen to obsessions while chocolate on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Exactly. And that's why I respect you so much because I know

you called your book, Serve to Win. And that's beautiful. I love that on so many levels. And I think that that's such a great tennis analogy. But, you know, and I've seen, I've been on, thankfully I've been on the other side of yourselves. And I know what they, and I know what they feel like. And I go, by the way,

go back to the videos that we've done, J and I, and with Lewis in Los Angeles. We played some tennis, and Jay has attempted to return to my service. It was very, very interesting. It was very entertaining. We were showing how it's good to always be a student again. And there are no backers guiding us, but it's true, like serve to win. And I think that this is what I've been saying a lot. And I repeat it often because it really helps crystallize

it. It's like your passion makes you happy. But when you use your passion in the service of others, it becomes a purpose. So what you're doing is you play tennis and you're a tennis player. And that's amazing. But now because of the platform that you've gained through being the number one tennis player in the world you're using that to serve and that's the whole goal that everyone can achieve whether you're a teacher, you're a doctor, you're a nurse, you're a you know your football player, you make videos like me, you whatever you do all you have to do is okay now that I've done this how can I use what I have to help other people? And you will feel so much more happiness and joy from that, no matter how big or small

or successful or whatever you see yourself as, when you start giving away what you have in the form of time, ideas, resources, money, energy. Remember, it's energy, like time and money, it's all energy, that's what you're really giving. And when you give your energy to someone, and especially your actual time and you want to see the work change, you will feel so much more joy from that.

I really believe that I used to take a lot of people, and know that kind of, we've talked about this. Before I started making videos, I used to take a lot of retreats to India where people could live where I lived as a monk. So I would take these retreats to the Ashram and I remember taking a man and he then took his children afterwards. He was a successful businessman in London. He took his children afterwards, they were about 13, 14 years old. And he said that it was the best trip ever for them because they were blown away by how grateful kids in India were with much less than they had in London. And he said that the perspective that they gained from serving these kids who were just

grateful to have a bowl of food. Now, just to have hot food for these kids was like their birthday party. And when his kids saw that they gained so much and I really feel that the challenge here we have, the challenges so many people have is mental health and that's that scientifically has been shown to be eased and healed when we help other people and when we serve other people as well. Not that it's the number one cure or anything I'm not saying that, but I'm saying it is a method that can be very helpful when we're feeling pain to help others and to serve others because it puts our challenges into perspective and it gives us so much more of a greater world view. That's beautiful and thank you for graciously mentioning

my book and you just publish your book, think like a monk, right? Can you maybe share, you know, with people something about, you know, those, those meditations that you've shared in the book? Yeah, absolutely. So the book's called Think Like a Monk and the reason why it's called Think Like a Monk is because I don't think anyone needs to live like one to think like a monk. And I really believe that Novak thinks like a monk in some parts of his life. I think a lot of people are interviewing my podcast already think like monks, because the monk mindset has three key aspects to it. The first is monks always focus on the root of the issue.

They always go to the core, they always go to the root, they don't worry about all the branches and the leaves. The second thing that monks do is that everything is very intentional. Everything is very intentional. It's focused. It's not just by chance or by luck or by hope it happens. It's not hopeful. It's not lucky. It's not chance-based. It's intentional. And people are very focused on their actions. And you know, you know this. You have an intentional diet, you have an intentional workout plan. And of course, there's room for spontaneity, of course, there's tons of room for creativity and spontaneity, but the real leaders know that routine gives birth to real spontaneity, right? It starts with discipline. And then the third and final part

of thinking like a monk is being able, I think we need a world that is more compassionate, more empathetic, more mindful. And so these meditation practices that I share, I think we need a world that is more compassionate, more empathetic, more mindful. And so these meditation practices that I share, I share three different types, breathwork, visualization, and mantra. And so these are the three main core forms of meditation. Breathwork, and I know you had Wim Haafon, who I'm a huge fan of, and Wim's fantastic, and he's, you know, he talks a lot of mouth breath work, visualization. What Novak was saying, he did earlier where he visualized himself, winning the Wimbledon trophy.

Visualization is an ancient form of transporting the mind and there's studies now that show that virtual reality does the same thing to the body and the mind as the actual thing. So when you're standing on the edge of a cliff in virtual reality, your mind is having the same fear as when if you're actually standing on the edge of a cliff. So when you visualize something in your mind, it's actually real. If you visualize yourself at a beach, you feel the calm of the ocean. If you visualize yourself in a mountain talk, you will feel the serenity of the peak. If you visualize yourself winning a trophy, working hard, focusing on the process, practicing, becoming better, you become better. If you can't hit a particular shot in real life. If you visualize it, you may then actually be able to do it in real life because you've

seen it. Everything that we see, whether it's your favorite car or whether it's a beautiful home, it existed in someone's mind before it existed in reality. So we have to realize that. So that's visualization. And the third and final is sound and mantra. And the reason why sound is so powerful, it sounds transports us quicker.

If you think about your favorite song from when you're a teenager or when you first fell in love, if you hear that song, you're back in that moment already. Back in the flow. Back in the flow. When you sang that you wanted trophy to or whatever it may be, you're back in the moment. So songs and music and mantra, mantra is the repetition of a particular set of words. And that repetition can allow you to get

back in the zone. And so, Anthony Turner Novak does this when he's about to play tennis. He has a mantra that he may repeat. I have mantras that I repeat before I go on stage. I have mantras that I repeat when I feel negative. These mantras change your mindset. So I share that. Do you want us to do one together Novak? Would that be fun or not? Sure, sure. Of course. Of course. Absolutely. Should we do a quick meditation together? Let's do it. Let's do a quick one. Okay. If you want to, we don't have to. No, no, no. It's absolutely fine. Love it. Okay. Okay. I'm just checking. I didn't know where you want to be before with love to actually experience that

Live and what what that sounds for what that looks like or that feels like yeah We're gonna do a short one Yes Can you hear the music now back tell me yes Okay So I'm gonna ask you all to close your eyes And what I want you to do now is bring your awareness to calm, balance, ease, stillness and peace. When your mind wanders, just gently and softly bring it back to calm, balance, ease,

stoneness and peace. Place your left palm on your stomach and as you breathe in, feel your stomach come out. And as you breathe out, feel your stomach go in. As you breathe in, feel your stomach go out. And as you breathe out, account of one, two, three, four. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Allowing the one, two, three, four to become your guide. And now repeat after me, I am grateful for and fill in the blanks. Whatever you're grateful for, it could be a person, a place, a project. See, we don't reflect on the good times as much as we reflect on the bad times. We remember the bad times more than the good times because when we go through something bad, we cry for a month. But when we go for something good, we celebrate for a night. And so it's so important to deeply step back into a space of gratitude. And you

can visualize a moment in your life that you are extremely grateful. Visualize what could you see? Who was around you? Where were you? What was in the sky? What was on the ground? And what could you hear? Was it someone's voice? Was it particular music? Was it the cheers? And what were you feeling at that time? The love, the joy. This time when you breathe in, breathe in all of that gratitude, that joy and that kindness, and breathe out any negativity, stress or pressure. Literally step back into that moment and experience the gratitude in your heart, extract it from that moment, take it all into your body and mind, and breathe out any stress or negativity. And when you're ready, in your own time, at your own pace, when you're ready, you can

gently and softly open your eyes. So that was a very quick version, that was about three minutes, but you can see how we did all of them, we did breathwork, we did visualization and even mantra, I am grateful for and You can see very quickly how you can get in so such a deep state and if you think about our negative states We don't even need to meditate during the negative state and so when we deeply Connect with gratitude in this way to visualization through all our senses. What can we hear? What can we see? What can we smell? What can we taste then then gratitude becomes real, it becomes physical, and that's what we all need to do. So that's just a simple meditation. Thank you Novak, for letting me share it. Thank you so much. Thank you so

much. And it was very profound. And I just, I think there's a lot of misinterpretation and misperception about what meditation is. I think you really beautifully broke it down in a simple way. You were guiding us through three steps. And I think there's a lot of parts of the world and different religions that think, well, meditation belongs to, you know, Hinduism or Buddhism, and it's not power our religion, and we should, as such, we should refuse it. explained it and the way you've kind of tried to put it closer to a perception of the mind of really making it clear by the meditation is breathing, the meditation is prayer as well because affirmations or mantras are prayer work. Visualization is something that you are doing in any religion and any part of the world because we all visualize ourselves being healthy. We all visualize ourselves achieving something in our life.

So meditation is everything, but meditation is mindfulness of being focused on that moment and being aware that you're breathing. Because we talked about breath. I talked with Shurven actually about breath and it's such a powerful yet so underrated function. We completely, once we stop breathing, we stop living. So, we're breathing. So, why should we at all focus on that? I mean, what's the big deal about breathing, right?

But then, you know, when you learn how to breathe consciously, like I remember when I was earlier in my career, when I was starting to compete on a professional level, I was struggling with allergies a lot. I had my nose was clogged up, I had a lot of doctors look at it and I even had some intervention on one of the left side of the nose and trying to open it up. And so many things were coming out and no one can really understand what is going to keep coming back.

And so I did change my diet which affected it in a great manner, but at the same time I felt whenever I would get anxious on the court or feel too much pressure, it would start to happen again. I'd start to have this sensation of choking, of having lack of breath and so forth, which would then obviously completely jeopardize my physical states that I'm in. I'll feel tired, I'll feel fatigue,

especially if I'm playing on a really big heat, like Australia, for example. But when I started doing yoga practice and when I started doing conscious breathing, it helped me tremendously. And it was so simple. And I encourage a lot of people that don't know where to start with all this, like meditation, visualization,

it might seem a little bit abstract. Yeah. Like, start with conscious breathing. Because, and what you've done with us, you've led us through to counting the breaths, right? One, two, three, four, one, two, three, one, four in, four out. There, you know, millions of ways you can do that. And, but just simply starting to really be conscious of your breath, focusing maybe on the tip of your nose or something like that, or feeling the chair that

you're sitting in, then you're starting to train yourself to be more in a present moment. I think we, as a professional athlete and being in an individual sport, I get to feel and being in an individual sport, I get to feel a really big leaps, so to say, or transformations of emotional states very quickly. I have no one really to rely on. So at times, as confident I am in myself, and constantly in my own skin, and being so experienced. Sometimes I feel like, oh geez, you know, I wish there was maybe someone, like I wish I had maybe another minute or two to sit down and like recollect before, recover before I step out and compete,

but, you know, I don't. So I have to find a way. And the more I train myself to be mindful and to be present, the more I feel my breath and the more I train myself to be mindful and to be present, the more I feel my breath and the more I'm recovering my energy. And as a result, the more I feel I'm performing better, right? Because I'm more present. And I tend to a lot of people, including myself, you know, we find ourselves, you know, spending so much energy and so much time thinking about what has happened and the events that we want to change or what will happen

Are trying to understand predict the future or being afraid or something that it might be coming And so I think you know the only real moment we have is now and you know having in in the present moment is Is a is is a is a deep wisdom of every religion, you know, regardless of where you're coming from, what are you doing, where are you doing meditation, where you're doing Buddhism, Christianity, most than yours. Everyone understands that the power of being in this moment, power of being in the now actually allows you to really fully manifest your own capabilities and to get the best out of yourself. So that was very powerful Jay and I'm just going

to go through some of the questions that people ask already. Amazing. I'm going to go into one of the questions. So this is coming from the profile, who now, uh, poor or heat seven, 90, thank you for a question. Uh, can you please share your thoughts and ask us a what is the end point of purpose? What is the point of purpose? Oh, okay, interesting question. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on I Heart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University,

and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality.

Listen to Intercosmos with David Eagelman, on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Eva Longoria. I'm Maite Gomez-Rajón. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast, Hungry For History! On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages, from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home.

Corner flower. Both. Oh, you can't decide I can't decide. I love both. You know, I'm a flower tortilla flower your team flower. I'm team flower. I need a shirt Team flower team core join us as we explore surprising and lesser known corners of Latinx culinary history and traditions I mean, these are these legends, right? Apparently, this guy Juan Mendes, he was making these tacos wrapped in these huge third-day jazz to keep it warm, and he was transporting them in a burro, hence the name the burritos. Listen to Hungary for history with Ivalongoria and Maite Gomez Rejón as part of the Micoltura Podcast Network available on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get

your podcasts. A good way to learn about a place is to talk to the people that live there. There's just this sexy vibe and Montreal, this pulse, this energy. What has been seen is a very snotty city. People call it BOSANGELIS. New Orleans is a town that never forgets its pay. A great way to get to know a place is to get invited to a dinner party. Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Newdum, and not lost is my new travel podcast, where a friend and I go places, see the sights, and try to finagle our way into a dinner party.

We're kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party. It doesn't always work out. I would love that, but I have like a Chihuahua who is aggressive towards strangers. I love the dogs. We learn about the places we're visiting, yes, but we also learn about ourselves. I don't spend as much time thinking about how I'm gonna die alone when I'm traveling, but I get to travel with someone I love. Oh, see, I love you too. And also, we get to eat as much...

I love you too. My life's a lot of therapy goes behind that. You're so white, I love it. Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. So I always speak from the traditions that I've studied as opposed to just giving you my opinion because I believe that people have explored happiness and meaning and purpose far longer than I have quite frankly. And so from the traditions that I've studied, the answer is that anything that is truly beautiful,

spiritual and powerful is always evolving. There is no end point. So you see that even in service, there's no end point, there's no point someone could say, I've done enough for the world, right? You can't, who could ever say that? You could never say I've now done the most I could possibly do, right? So there is no end point of purpose and it is our fascination and addiction to the end that stops us from starting. That's the issue that we have this big picture of like purposes

like this thing that's going to solve my whole life and it's going to it's what I'm searching for and that's why I said no just look for the interest. Just start with the little baby footsteps of interest or the baby steps and if you start with just your interest it can naturally grow and continue to grow. So we get so fascinated by the end of stuff but we don't start and that's how we feel. We always say oh I'm never going to get to the end of that book so I probably won't start it. I'll probably never get to the end so I won't start and that's how we feel. We always say, oh, I'm never going to get to the end of that book. So I probably won't start it. I'll probably never get to the end. So I won't start it.

So don't let the fascination with the end stop you from starting. Thank you for asking that, Jay. This is a question from the Bayer family. Thank you for a question. How much percentage of the tennis game you feel comes from the mental strength to win the game? So it's an interesting one. If you don't mind, Jay, I'll ask you one unless I think I should answer this one. I think I should

ask. I think I think it's a really really high percentage. I think mental aspect is the most important aspect is the most important aspect or element of winning tennis match or anything in life, really. If you're telling yourself, I have not prepared well, if you allow your doubts be stronger than your convictions, be stronger than your confidence, than your self-encouragement, then obviously that is exactly how you're going to feel. And Jay has wonderfully described the visualization. And it's scientifically proven that when you visualize something and when you not only think something, a thought, but when you actually feel it in your whole body, that's when the magic happens in both good way or bad way.

So if you feel fear of being in a center stage or if you're afraid of your opponent's game and you have doubts that you can overplay him and then you have doubts that even if you hit 2000 back ends in last two days, you still don't feel confident enough to go for that shot and you're questioning it. Of course, your body, you know, your whole being is going to react in a way that you are commanding it. So I do feel that the mental aspect is the crucial, the determinants of whether you're going to perform well and as a result whether you're gonna win or not. So of course I'm not saying that it's all,

I'm not taking 100% of victory depending on the mental aspect because of course you have to train, you have to put in the work, you have to be disciplined, you have to understand what serves you, what works for you, in terms of training, the amount of training, the surrounding that you have around you, the recovery routines, the daily routines, what puts you in the flow, right? So when you get on the court, you want to be in that flow. And of course, there are some places in the world where I play,

where I feel more comfortable, some places where maybe feel less comfortable. But in the end of the day, I try to train myself daily and put as much as work and I think value the mental training as much as I value my physical training. It's really, really important, especially when you get to the highest level of professional competition. Great answer man, really good answer. Thank you.

So I'm just going to go into some of like a few more questions Jay. Thank you for your patience. Of course man. It's great. You audience asked great question. Yes, thank you. This is a good question coming from a profile, Rajan Kp 23. How do you balance making a living and living your purpose? Yeah, good question. So the realist advice is there are certain people like Novak who knew very early on what he wanted to do,

and I know this from the interviews that we've done together, and he was very sure about it, and he was able to pursue it, and it was his passion and it's become a purpose. He's using his platform to serve others. Now there are a group of people like that, and if you're asking this question at 20, I'm guessing you're not one of those people, Because if you wanted to, you know, be in a certain career and be in a certain path, you start at an early age. I was late to the game, by the way, as well. Like I started the beginning of what I do now at age 28. Like that's how old I was when I really started this from a career standpoint, even I've been doing it for so long before.

And so if you're in that position, my advice to people is be in your day job. You don't need to quit your day job. You don't need to suddenly throw it away. Be there and learn everything you can from your day job that will probably be useful in the future for your passion and your purpose. And then at the same time, use your free time to invest in your purpose.

And that's really the key as to whether you're truly passionate about it or not. So I used to finish work at my day job, my corporate day job at 9 p.m. sometimes I'd get home. And I'd work on my passion from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. And then on the weekend, guess what? I didn't go out and have a social life. I was working on my purpose. I was editing videos again. I was learning video editing. And I was starting the journey I am now,

even now for the past few years. I put in more time into my purpose than I do into any other area of my life. You know, I was building my podcast. I wanted to interview Novak. He wasn't coming to the US. I flew out to, you know, to meet him because A, I was building my podcast. I wanted to interview Novak. He wasn't coming to the US. I flew out to, you know, to meet him because A, I was passionate about meeting him and learning from him and I really wanted to interview him. And so you've got to go out and show that you care about your purpose.

And so what it's going to require is you don't need to quit your day job. I would never recommend it to anyone. It's what you do with your free time. And what will happen at one point is you will see that your purpose is growing and you can then make the leap in a gentle and natural way rather than just dropping everything and trying to make a leap and then it may affect your family and I don't know what situation you're in. But I would always say to people that for some time

you will have to have your feet in both boats and it's uncomfortable, but then you can make that leap over afterwards. That's beautiful. Thank you for your answer, Jay. The last question, actually, I'm going to merge two questions in one. Okay. They're related. One is from life loving, Chrissy. Thank you for a question. What is depression truly? loving, greasy. Thank you for a question. What is depression truly? And the other question is from Adita Subramaniam. Thank you for a question. How do you stay calm during the time of failure? And how do you build your self-belief? Wonderful. We should both answer them. You should answer them too. But yeah, yeah, because, you know, you can speak to the second one a lot. So when it comes to the defined, let's do the first

question first, the defining depression. You know, I'm not a medical professional, so I always like to point that out that clinical depression is different. But depression is generally experienced when you're having a long term feeling of being down, feeling stuck, feeling highly emotionally negative. And you feel like this overwhelming burden that's just surrounding you. And it seems that it's consistent. And that's usually how people express or experience depression when they feel a overwhelming sense of pain and heaviness in their life and that may come from failures, it may come from rejection, it may come from parenting, it could come from so many different things. Depression truly is something that ultimately limits

you from your potential. That's what it is. It's covering you away from what you're truly meant for. That's what, when you said truly, like, what is it truly? That's what it is truly. It's a covering that isn't you that is stopping you from achieving your highest potential. It's real and people go through and that's what I'm saying that the clinical definition is very important. And the way you deal with failure and overcoming failure for me, these are the few things that I do. The first thing is I study the lives of people I admire. There is no one that I admire that hasn't failed. No one. If anything, they failed more. If you haven't read Walter Isaacson's books on Steve Jobs, on Da Vinci, on Einstein, read them. Those

guys have failed so many times. If you're inspired by Novak, which I'm sure you are, because you follow him, he's failed so many times. And I can say that because I know he knows that. And that's what's got into it. Yesterday, he's failed. There's that famous phrase of the master has failed more times than the student has tried.

And that's what we have to realize in our own minds is that we will fail more. Actually, the higher you go, the more you fail because the more you try and experiment. So the first thing I remind myself is that all the people I respect have failed more than I've tried. There's a first thing.

The second thing I do is I literally go, what is the feedback in this failure? What can I learn from this failure? Because this failure is a signal that I need to change something, that I need to learn a new skill, that I need to adapt. Failure is never just failure.

It is a signal, it is a alert, it is a message to you. And often we wanna ignore the message and just be emotional, it's important that we learn the message. And the third way that I deal with failure is I've said this to myself for a long time, it just makes the story better. Because one day when you keep going

and you win that trophy and you achieve that success and you get the recognition or whatever you want, you tell your story and it will make the story better. No one wants to hear a story of someone who just won their every stage in their life because it's not real. And. No one wants to hear a story of someone who just won every stage in their life because it's not real. And so one day when you share your story and I've been in so many tough situations

and I used to look to my wife and I'd be like, this is gonna make the story better one day when I get to tell it. And it gives you that sense of confidence that you're on the right path, you're on the journey. That's beautiful, Jay. Thank you so much. Thank you.

And it's very clear. And what you talked about last there, the story that you get to tell. I think that's very powerful because that relates to the purpose. But also that relates, I think, to the whole study, which I think is equally as important as being aligned with your purpose, meaning being aligned with your passion and doing what you truly love and that giving your story and that entertaining you and giving you happiness

while you're doing it, which is very important. So I feel like in the times of failure, it's always good to really ask yourself, why are you doing that? Why are you, even, in my case, playing tennis, what motivated you to play at the beginning? Why are you still playing it? And I think when you, that's why you're going back to the beginning of this conversation, talking about the importance of setting the purpose, and clear with the purpose, with intention, with the passion, with motivation. It's very important because in these times,

you will have answers to your ego's questions, you know? And I think also what is important is going back to what I said about the short term and long term goals. It's very important because to set your goals because of clarity of thought, clarity of feeling and energy because you know where your attention goes energy flows right. And if you are confused about your life, about what you're doing, why you're doing it, you know, am I doing it for the motivations or the reasons that are a material or less material, it's combining the two. If you don't clear that up yourself, no one else will.

So you have to go deep inside yourself, understand why you're playing when you're playing, set your goals, give yourself clarity, and give yourself a root that will be, you know, it will be a solid road that you will know that you're heading this direction. If you fail, it's normal. Everyone fails. But it will be easier for you to recover once you know that your goal is there and you're headed towards it. And the last thing I would say is the importance of what Jay talked about is the mentorship.

You know, whether it's from people that you know or the people that you don't know, whether you're acquaintance or not. There's so many inspiring people around the world. They share their content, they share their wisdom, share their knowledge and passion online. Yeah, it's so much material, so many books, so many essays to read, so many wonderful videos to see. And you just need to first find an intention. My intention is to be clear with myself what my goals are, what my purpose is.

If I can't find it, I'll look for inspiration, I'll look for people that have found their purpose, that have gone through a huge transformation in life, like yourself, Jay, that you've had until you were 18, 19, one kind of life, then all of a sudden you have a different kind of life to go to where you are. So these are examples and journeys that you can learn from so, so much. So I think environment is very important in the times when you're failing, when you're depressed, when you're not feeling good about yourself. Also question the environment, who is surrounding you?

What is the information that is being fed to you? Is it positive? Is it maybe less positive? Is it encouraging you or discouraging you? Is it inspiring you or not so much? So these kind of things are very very important to you know to have on your on your sort of say daily to-do list in a way asking yourself questions writing things down and it's important There is with the Shervin and I talked about

the power and Energy that is behind writing things down in your diary, taking a pen and writing things on the paper, not only when you're feeling great, but also when you're, you know, feeling discouraged or depressed, and that's where you actually learn about yourself. That's where you can go deeper and really transform yourself to a better version of yourself. Absolutely. Thank you so much, Jay. I really, really appreciate your time. It's amazing. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry if we took too much of

you. No, don't say sorry, man. I really enjoyed it. This same meme, man, this is like hearing it's a conversation like this has been such a wonderful conversation because I think we're so aligned. We're so different in what we do, but we're so aligned in values in our heart. Absolutely. And so when we get to talk like this and how much we care, it just comes out to no man, don't apologize at all. This has been amazing. I loved every second of it. And I want to do more of this with you, Madam Excited. Yes. This is amazing. For sure. For sure. For sure.

What you're doing is truly inspiring Jay. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world. Thank you for being here with us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay.

Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay.

Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay. Here's a tip for your herb garden. It may sound counterintuitive, but if you want to get the most out of your basil plant, you need to regularly trim its stem. I know I know how does removing part of the plant make it grow. That's actually a long story, but trust me proper pruning is a surefire way to ensure your basil grows big and bushy, and the same principle can be applied to your life. The next seven minutes are all about you, what you focus on, and how to trim it down so you can thrive. I'm Jay Shetty, welcome to the Daily Jay. Let's begin by focusing on three centering breaths,

inhaling and exhaling, feeling your body rise, now feeling it ease, sharpening your mind and zeroing in on this moment. Okay, story time. In 1997, Steve Jobs returned to run Apple after a decade away from the company. What he found was a business in disarray. Apple had become really bureaucratic and he kept trying to satisfy the random whims of retailers. And so the company was left with a ridiculously large number of product lines.

None of them were performing particularly well. As one company executive put it, Apple made tons of products, most of them crap, done by deluded teams. Jobs couldn't make sense of it all. He found himself asking, which one would I tell my friend to buy? Finally, he decided enough was enough. He declared that the company was going to focus on two types of computers, desktop and portable, with one professional and one consumer version of each. Four great products.

That's it. The room was stunned. For years, leadership had pushed for more product lines, not fewer. But that approach hadn't worked at all. In the year before jobs took over, Apple lost more than $1 billion. So even though the company's board was terrified of this new direction, they felt they had no choice but to trust him. The result, engineers and managers suddenly became focused. Their next desktop computer, the iMac, became the fastest-selling

computer in Apple's history. A year later, they reported a profit of over $300 million. Apple was saved, and you know where the company went from there. I love this story, because it goes against the common mindset that all of us need to be able to do everything all the time. It can feel like success only comes to the overachievers, the ones who can do it all. Certainly society reinforces that message, a side hustle, a passion project, and a viral Instagram account to boot. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't have these things.

Some people are able to balance multiple projects at once. Some even thrive that way. But when you're feeling stuck or stretched thin, or simply not your best, ask yourself, am I unfocused? What are my product lines? You may need to cut some things in order to build a more stable foundation. Don't worry, cutting out a project today doesn't mean it's gone forever.

Apple makes dozens of products now, many of them direct descendants of things that got axed in that meeting. But the company could only get to this point after sharpening its focus. And speaking of focus, let sharpen ours now with a short meditation. Get comfortable wherever you are. Relaxing your body and releasing a little tension. Now bring your attention to your breath. Don't worry about controlling your breathing.

Just notice its natural rhythm. Tune in to the flow. If your attention seems interested in following a train of thought or latching onto a feeling, just notice where it wants to go and gently rest it back on your breath. Breathing in and breathing out. We often forget that this present moment can be enough if we just let it. Let's open this up. Take a few moments to reflect on all the various projects in your life right now. I'm talking about work, hobbies, goals, relationships, whatever it may be.

You can even make a little list in your mind. Is your quality of life or your quality of output suffering as a result? Are you spending time or resources on anything that doesn't align with your mission, vision or purpose? Now ask yourself which of these projects are essential, foundational, vital to your future? Could you consider slashing any of those product lines? Once you established your foundation for success, there will always be room to build on that foundation. But as Stephen Covey famously said, the main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing. Thanks for joining me today. I'll see you tomorrow.

What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War II? An opera singer who burned down an honorary to kidnap her lover, and a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, haven't comment. They're all real women who were left out of your history books. You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast. Check it out on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast podcasts, or wherever you listen. Getting better with money is a great goal for 2023. But how are you going to make it happen?

Ordering a book that lingers on your nightstand isn't going to do the trick. Instead, check out our podcast, How To Money. That's right, we're two best buds offering all the helpful personal finance information you need without putting you to sleep. We offer guidance three times a week, and we talk about debt payoff, saving more, intelligent investing, and increasing your earnings. Millions of listeners have trusted us to help them make progress with their financial goals. You can listen to how to money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our 20s often seen as this golden decade, our time to be carefree, make mistakes and figure out

our lives. But what can psychology teach us about this time? I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the psychology of your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money and much more to explore the science behind our experiences. The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.