On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 3 Mistakes We Make in Relationships & Why the 5 Love Languages Can Transform Your Connection

Episode Date: August 26, 2022

Do you want to meditate daily with me? Go to go.calm.com/onpurpose to get 40% off a Calm Premium Membership. Experience the Daily Jay. Only on Calm How do you express your love for a friend, for a family member, and for your partner? Are you expressive with your words? Is it through action? Or do you feel the need to constantly assure the people around you that you love as much as you want to be assured that you’re being loved back?In this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty shares the five love languages we may not be very familiar with that plays a huge role in building relationships and then strengthening them.   For a more in-depth read of Gary Chapman’s book, check out The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts  Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/Key Takeaways:00:00 Intro01:59 How do we create basic connections with others?05:57 The challenges we have love languages10:34 Know everyone’s love language18:25 Love Language #1: Words of affirmation23:24 Love Language #2: Gift-giving26:28 Love Language #3: Spending quality time28:30 Love Language #4: Physical touch30:06 Love Language #5: Acts of serviceLike this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on I Heart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the IHAR radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Regardless of the progress you've made in life, I believe we could all benefit from wisdom on handling common problems, making life seem more manageable, now more than ever. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the One-E-Feed podcast,

where I interview thought-provoking guests who offer practical wisdom that you can use to create the life you want. 25 years ago, I was homeless and addicted to heroin. I've made my way through addiction recovery, learned to navigate my clinical depression, and figured out how to build a fulfilling life. The One-E-Feed has over 30 million downloads

and was named one of the best podcasts by Apple Podcast. Oprah Magazine named this is one of 22 podcasts to help you live your best life. You always have the chance to begin again and feed the best of yourself. The trap is the person often thinks they'll act once they feel better. It's actually the other way around. I have had over 500 conversations with world-renowned experts and yet I'm still striving to be better. It's actually in the other way around. I have had over 500 conversations with world-renowned experts and yet I'm still striving to be better. Join me on this journey. Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio App Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. The world of chocolate has been turned upside down. A very unusual situation. You saw the stacks of cash in our office.

Chocolate comes from the cacao tree and and recently, Varietis Picà, fought to have been lost centuries ago, where we discovered in the Amazon. There was no chocolate on Earth like this. Now some chocolate makers are racing deep into the jungle, to find the next game-changing chocolate, and I'm coming along. Okay, that was a very large crack it up. Listen to the obsessions of wild chocolate, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Whether you're at work, whether you're in a small family, a big family,

I want you to make it a priority that by the end of this week, you know everyone's love languages. Because one of the things I've found for a long time is that as a leader, as a partner, as a friend, as a parent, you may think you're very loving. Right, you may believe that you're a very loving, caring individual. But if you don't love, in the way someone wants to be loved, they still may feel extremely unloved. Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty and I am so, so grateful that you're here right now and that I get to spend this time with you and until we bump into each other, until you come

to a live event which I can't wait. Next year, I'll be going on my world tour for the release of my second book, which I cannot wait to share with you. This one's really powerful. I'll be announcing it soon, so make sure you keep a lookout for that. But I cannot wait.

I'll be going on tour. I'll be traveling across the world. I want to meet you all. I want to hug you all. I want to hold your the world, I wanna meet you all, I wanna hug you all, I wanna hold your hands, I wanna look you in the eyes and really connect because I just feel like you've been so supportive, you've been so incredible, you've been unbelievable to me over this time

when we haven't been able to meet each other and I can't wait to finally be connected, I can't wait to finally make sure that we actually get to have a real life in person human experience of what it means to transform our lives, experience, wisdom. So cannot wait for that. But I want to thank you for lending me your ears today, whether you're walking, whether you're cooking, whether you're walking your dog, whether you're at the gym, whatever you're up to right now. Thank you for being here. It really means the world to me.

And today, I wanted to talk about an idea that has been around for some time. And this idea originated from Gary Chapman when he wrote the book about this theme. If you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it. If you haven't done the test, I highly recommend it. If you haven't done the test, I highly recommend it. You can simply Google it online. But the reason why I wanted to talk about this is that there are very few ideas that are as timeless as this one.

Because what we realize is that so many of us haven't figured out how to do basic connection with the people closest in our lives. We ignore or don't understand what someone needs, what we need, and then we live in that no man's land of misunderstanding. Just think about that for a moment. If you don't know what you need and the other person doesn't know what you need, that's a really uncomfortable place to be. It's a really weak place to be as a couple. It's a tough place to be as a friendship.

And we have this belief that if you know me, you should know what I need. Now let me ask you this. How many of us would say we know ourselves to some degree? Do we always know what we need? I don't think so. There's so many times in the day when you don't know what you need for yourself, how is someone else's mind, how is someone else's psychology, how is someone else's time going to give them enough time to figure that out. So that desire to be predictable,

which is really what we're asking for. It's like, I'm predictable enough that you should know what I need. The truth is none of us are. We're always changing. We're growing. We're evolving. We're moving so fast. So that creates a massive challenge in our relationships. Something else that creates a massive challenge in our relationships. Something else that creates a massive challenge in our relationships is that we're not comfortable being honest about what we need. We think if we say what we need, it somehow makes us vulnerable and it makes us weak

because now we feel like the other person has power and control over us. And maybe that is your case, right? Maybe you have actually had that experience where you did communicate a need and someone misused that, exploited that, or abused that. And I'm so sorry if that's what you went through or if that's what you experienced, because you know, if that kind of behavior is just unacceptable, but when you've been through it, it can close you off.

There's a beautiful old story about a mother and her child, and the child has been experiencing a tough time at school, bullying, name calling, you know, they're feeling insecure, they're feeling uncertain, they don't want to go to school. And they're also starting to say that they feel like they're just becoming numb to it all. So the mother in this story puts some hot water on and then she puts puts some hot water on and then she puts a potato inside the hot water and a little while later they touch the potato and she asks her child to touch the potato and says what's happened and it's like the potato is gone soft right the potato is gone completely soft in the boiling hot water then the mother puts inside an egg and a while later the eggs gone hard.

And then the mother finally puts in in the story it's coffee beans. I'm going to say tea leaves because, you know, we have joy O.T. I hope you've tried it. It's an air one right now. We literally are so excited. It's been so fun. If you're in L.A. That is, we're trying to get it internationally and working on nationally as well.

But if you're in LA, you can try it. But so she put in coffee beans, I'd put in tea leaves and the watercolor changes, the fragrance changes, the scent changes. And the mother explains to her child that we have these three choices when we go through hot water, when we go through pain. We can either become soft like the potato,

we can become hard like the egg, or we can transform our environment like the tea leaves and like the coffee beans. And so why am I telling you this story in this context? What I'm saying is that, yes, there may have been someone in your past that has made you go soft or has made you become hardhearted and untrustworthy. But taking that baggage and taking that into another relationship doesn't make sense. So for example, if you ended your last relationship hardhearted,

we have to start a new relationship neutral, but protected. Right? If you start your new relationship hard-hearted because your old one left hard-hearted, you're now making it much harder for the other person and yourself to have a genuine relationship. Now, let's say you ended your last relationship feeling weak and vulnerable and you now start your new relationship feeling weak and vulnerable and continue to be that open. You continue to have no protection,

you continue to have no boundaries, you end up in the same position again. So the mistake we make is that we start our new relationships the way we ended our last ones. And when you do that, your new relationship will also end in a similar way. Or it will end for sure because you're now creating a steep hill or a deep valley for that person to climb into, right? When you become weak, you either set yourself up for failure or when you become hard-hearted, you create a challenge and it's trying so hard to come back to neutral again.

You're like, how do I do that? Will you do that by going, this is a new person. I have to be neutral with a new person, right? And the third challenge we have with love languages, communicating our needs, expressing who we are, is that we think we just have to say it once. We think that if we tell someone once how we feel that they'll know, they'll understand, they'll get it,

they'll figure it out. It's almost like, oh yeah, I told you that. Now, whether you're working in a company, whether you're in a relationship, whether you're in a friendship, I've found that reminders. I'm probably the most important thing. Human memory, I'll have to write a book about this one day. I find human memory fascinating.

Isn't it so weird that you can remember some random lyric from 16 years old when someone broke your heart, but you can't remember what you had for lunch yesterday? Right? Like, isn't it so strange that you will forget the most important thing of the week, but you will remember the random TikTok YouTube video you saw and you're telling your friends about? It's strange, isn't it? Memory is so random. You have the nostalgia of an event from when you were younger but you can't seem to make new memories. I have to write book about this one day. I'm fascinated by memory. Maybe I'll do a podcast

episode on it again as well but this idea that once I tell someone what I need, they should just remember it, they should know it and they'll get it perfectly right. People need a lot of direction. People need a lot of clarity, and that clarity in that direction can only come from you. Truly, it can only come from you. So I want to dive into the five love languages that you may have heard before that Gary Chapman talks about,

but I wanna shed a bit more light on them and inspired by what's inside the book, talk about like, you know, what does that really mean? How do we really figure that out and how do we really approach our partners and the people in our lives? So the first thing I'm gonna say is whether you're at work, whether you're in a small company, a large company, whether you're in a small family, a big family, I want you to make it

a priority that by the end of this week, you know everyone's love languages. You can send them the test or you can ask them directly. And I am starting to do this now. I'm gonna ask, I'm gonna do this with you. I'm gonna ask everyone in my company to do this. Because one of the things I found for a long time is that as a leader, as a partner, as a friend, as a parent, you may think you're very loving.

Right, you may believe that you're a very loving, caring individual. But if you don't love in the way someone wants to be loved, they still may feel extremely unloved. Let me say that again for you. If you don't love people the way they want to be loved, they could feel extremely unloved. Now how many of you know in your life that you have tried your best to love someone, but they still feel unloved, uncared for or unseen and you're wondering how I literally do everything, I try my best, I give you everything I have. Yet they would still say they don't feel loved. It's fascinating, isn't it?

And this happens in the workplace, it happens everywhere. You're like, but I'm always there for you. I do this for you. I do that for you. And they're like, yeah, but you don't get it. Like you don't get it, right? How many times have you ever heard that? It's like, but you don't understand me. That's not what I want from you. And you're like, well, what do you want from me? I give you everything. What do you want?

And it's like, well, that's not what I want. I want this. Hopefully it gets there. But we often just have this full blown argument about you don't give me what I want. And the biggest reason is because people don't know. And people don't share. We've been getting so many amazing reviews

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Experience the daily J only on calm. In the 1680s, a feisty opera singer burned down a nunnery and stole away with her secret lover. In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom with all their loot. A pirate queen negotiated her cruise way to total freedom, with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans. What are these stories having common? They're all about real women who were left out of your history books. If you're tired of missing out, check out the Womanica podcast, a daily women's history podcast highlighting women you may not have heard of, but definitely should know about. I'm your host, Jenny Kaplan, and for me, diving into these stories is the best part of my day.

I learned something new about women from around the world and leave feeling amazed, inspired, and sometimes shocked. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I am Mi'amla and on my podcast, the R-Spot, we're having inspirational, educational, and sometimes difficult and challenging conversations about relationships. They may not have the capacity to give you what you need. And insisting means that you are abusing yourself now. You human! That means that you're crazy as hell, just like the rest of us. When a relationship breaks down, I take copious notes,

and I want to share them with you. Anybody with two eyes and a brain knows that too much Alfredo sauce is just no good for you. But if you're going to eat it, they're not going to stop you. So he's going to continue to give you the Alfredo sauce and put it even on your grits if you don't stop him. Listen to the R-Spot on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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The reason I'm really placing emphasis on this is if you do this as an exercise over the next week, I promise you it's going to transform your relationships. I promise you it's going to make birthdays and Christmas is easier. I promise you it's going to make day to day interaction easier and it will really change the quality and the depth of your relationships. Isn't that what we want? How many times does it come to someone's birthday that you love and care about and you don't know what to get them or you don't know what to get them?

Or you don't know what to do for them. You finally get something together You put it together and you give it to them and you're hoping they'll be happy with it and they may or may not be They might be grateful, but if you understood their love language, it would change it Or when someone's going through a tough time Maybe someone's lost a family member, maybe someone's pet is unwell. Maybe they just lost their job and you're wondering, well, how do I process this and you're like, oh, well, maybe, I don't know, maybe I just won't say anything because they don't want to hear about it. Or maybe, you know, like, maybe I'll just send them some flowers or I'll send them a card and we do the most generic, basic thing, right? Like,

that's what we do. And I really get upset of myself because I've fallen to this trap all the time where I do a generic basic thing. When the past sometimes I've made the mistake of avoiding it because I'm uncomfortable, right? I feel uncomfortable. I'm like, I don't know what to say to them. So I just won't bring it up. That doesn't help anyone. But if you knew their love language, you would know how they want to be approached in this situation. Right? This isn't just about not arguing with your partner. This isn't just about like what gift to get someone on their birthday.

This is about a deep understanding of how to connect with this person at different places in their life. And so I just really want to take a moment to reflect on that with you, right? I really want to take a moment to reflect on that with you because this is going to be huge for so many different areas of your life, right? This is going to be huge for so many different areas of your life. And I just don't want you to underestimate it. So a big thank you to Gary Chapman for writing this book, for creating this concept, and for introducing it to me

through his work. And I'm just grateful that I get a pass it on to all of you. And share my reflections. That's really what I'm doing here is, as someone who's been trying to practice this for many years now. I wanted to share my reflections, my challenges with it, the things I've learned from it. So here are the five languages. Words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, and acts of service.

The first thing I want you to do, and I'll do it as I'm speaking to you, is I want you to write down your five in your order, right? I want you to write down your five in your order. And I don't want you to be shy. I don't want you to be uneasy about this. I want you to push through that and really write it down. Like, be honest with yourself. See, the reason why we don't write this down or reflect on this, because we know we feel uncomfortable saying that we feel like, oh my gosh, there must be so weak

that I want to be loved in that way, right? It must be so weak that I want to be loved in that way. And the truth is, because we feel weak wanting to be loved that way. How empowering is that to be loved that way? We in our own heads feel, wow, the way I want to be loved is so lame. Wait a minute, then how are we going to deserve the love we need in one? How are we going to receive the love we need in one if we think it's lame? So write it down and I'm gonna share mine with you as well. So I literally just ranked my five in order. So words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts,

quality time, acts of service, put yours in your order, I'm gonna share my order in a second with you all. Which one do you find most important to least important? Okay, so my first one is words of affirmation. And this is why I absolutely love to see your reviews for the podcast. It's why I love it when you tag me in an Instagram post or a tweet. It's why I love it when I see DMs flying in and why I read them myself and look through them myself and spend so much time with those myself

because I love words of affirmation. Because why for me, when someone takes the time to tell me how they feel through words, it really touches my heart, it's the way I'm wired, right? It's the way I'm wired, encouraging, powerful, empowering words, appreciation, gratitude, it makes me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile. Now, do I believe I'm doing something worthwhile anyway?

Yes. Do I feel proud of what I do every day? Yes. Am I in love with what I do every day? Yes. But when someone loves me back for what I love, I just fall in love with doing it more. So whenever I bump into you

and you tell me something beautiful or you write a review on my podcast or whatever it may be, last week I bumped into a few of you at AirOne when we were launching J.O.T. there and it was just so beautiful, I loved it. And so I just really mean that. Like it's been so powerful receiving your words of information.

So thank you so much. And with these podcasts, that's what I'm really trying to give you back. I'm trying to give you words of affirmation back as well. Now, let's say someone in your family needs words of affirmation. It means that you want to communicate and connect with them in a way where words are very important. This isn't just about being encouraging or giving empty flattery or saying nice things, right? I think that's where we make a mistake on what words of affirmation really are. Sometimes we think, oh, people just wanna hear

nice things about themselves. And it's like, well, no, no, no, that's not it. That's a very basic version. And this is exactly why I wanted to do this episode to deep dive on this. Words of affirmation are clearly and carefully using words with these individuals. Right? To them, words are the most important things. So words can wound them or words can be wisdom. To them, you know, passive aggression, to them like a slide dig, to them a comment about something they're going to take it even more seriously. And sometimes you'll be like, well, I was just joking with

you like it wasn't that deep, but to this person, the words you use with them are so sacred and so important and they need words to have appreciation, acknowledgement, to feel seen, to feel understood, to feel heard. They experienced that through words. They experienced that through words throughout the day. For this person, you could have made the bed, made breakfast, and you could have made lunch. And made breakfast, and you could have made lunch. And what they needed to hear is, how are you doing today? Oh yeah, you've got that big meeting. I hope it goes really well.

I'm sure you're really well prepared for it. Or the night before saying, you know, you've got that big meeting? How can I help you with it, right? And that word of affirmation, or they came back and they told you, hey, you know what, the meeting went well and you're like, that's amazing.

I knew it would, congrats. Like, tell me about it. Like, the words are so important to them, that positivity, that energy that comes through language. Now, something that these people often really appreciate is handwritten notes or cards. They love getting a random text throughout the day. Words are so important to them throughout the day to know that you're thinking of them,

to know that they're in your mind. And the thing that really upsets them is when they don't feel acknowledged for their efforts. They don't feel seen for their hard work. And you may think, well, gosh, why does this person need this? And it's like because there's a part of them that's doing that for you. You may not feel that. You may not think that.

But there's a part of them that feels they're doing it for you. And by the way, taking an opportunity to be grateful, whether something small or not, it goes such a long way. I know that for me, because I love receiving words of affirmation, I find giving words of affirmation fairly easy. And I do it a lot with Rady, whether she's just cooked us an amazing dinner. I'll thank her every day for an amazing dinner.

And I realized how much I love doing that for my mom as well, because it means the world, right? Like it means so much. It shouldn't just be expected. And I think sometimes when we're scared of giving words of affirmation, it means we kind of expect that that person should be doing what they're doing anyway. Noticing with words is a beautiful thing. Okay, on my next list is gifts. Now, one of the things I want to clarify here is that the way we get our love languages is often how our parents did or didn't love us.

So the way your parents loved you or didn't love you if there was some lack or inadequacy in their love and appreciation, it creates a love language. So my mom, even though she didn't have a lot of time, she always made sure that she got me one gift every year that I really wanted, whether it was power ranges, right? Whether it was a special cake designed like a football or whether it was a football jersey of one of my favorite teams or whether it was, I don't know, like whatever it may have been, right?

And my mom would always make sure I got that. So I felt my mom's love through gifts. Now I felt my mom's love through a lot of different ways, but gifts was a big part of it. And she never bought me, we didn't have a lot of money. So she didn't just buy me gifts to make me feel good. It was really her way of getting me that thing that surprised me.

And this was the inner part I learned. When I first read receiving gifts, I was like, that's me. And now was the inner part I learned. When I first read receiving gifts, I was like, that's me. And now, as time's gone on, I realized I love surprises. I love personalized gifts. When I was young, I thought I wanted audacious gifts. I thought I wanted ostentatious gifts. And one of my favorite gifts I received was a magazine cover signed by the Dalli Lama, and it's the Dalli Lama on the Life magazine cover. And when I received that gift, like I was so touched,

it was so personalized. And so I also received a gift which was Christopher Nolan's screen play of Inception, right? And that's aplay of Inception. Right? And that's a movie that I loved. And so I've realized that gifts are no longer the, you know, how expensive they are, fancy. I like, that's not a good gift to me. So notice how even the psychology of gifts

is so much deeper than a gift. For example, if someone just got me a random gift, now basically I'm starting to sound very difficult, right? Everyone's like, wow, Jay, you're like, high maintenance. No, I'm trying to express to you the nuances, the subtleties that come with all of these love languages. Now, with someone who loves gifts,

it's that thoughtfulness, it's that clarity on understanding, showing that you understand a person in what they're going through. And one of the things that people struggle with, people who want gifts, is people go, oh my gosh, they're so difficult to buy for, I won't get anything. And that ends up making the person feel really, really upset because that was something they wanted, they clarified it. And you're like, oh no, you're too difficult to buy gifts for. And it's like, well, maybe I'm not,

maybe try me, right? And so I find that it's really important for you to try and to learn and to understand and give it a go. Now, I'm being very vulnerable with you, as I always am here on this show, because I think that's the only way we grow when you realize that we all have needs and desires and wants and we want to be clear about it. Okay, so the third one on my list is quality time. I love spending quality time, but it isn't in my first two. Now that doesn't mean that I don't like spending quality time

in my friends and family. It's just that the way I show and receive love is usually through words of affirmation and gifts. But I realized there's a lot of people in my life who love quality time, and so I have to figure out whether I can make that time for them. So people who like quality time, they want time that is not full of distractions. You haven't got your phone now. You're not constantly running in and out of meetings. You're not responding to emails. you're really present one to one.

Quality time also isn't just hanging around, it's creating like beautiful experiences, making something out of anything like a candlelit dinner, right? Whatever it may be, it's like trying to find a way of making experiences special. That's what people are really looking for. And they're not just looking for like, oh yeah, I took two hours to be with you. Right, like that's no, I remember, speaking to one of my clients years ago, and he was saying that he just came back

from five days away with his wife, and she was like, oh, I wish we spent more time together. And he was like, what do you mean? I just spent five days with you, but the whole time he was on his phone, he was reading his own books, reading his magazines, and it's like, I wish we spent more time together. And he was like, what do you mean? I just spent five days with you, but the whole time he was on his phone, he was reading his own books, reading his magazines. And it's like, she was like, but that wasn't time together. And she was right.

And so quality time needs to be expressed specifically. Because as I always say, I don't think anyone actually wants your time. I think they want your presence. I think they want your energy. I think they want you. And so when we want your energy. I think they want you. And so when we say to people, I want to spend more time with you, we don't mean time.

And I think finding different ways of spending time with people makes quality time even more fun because you can't just keep having dinner. You can't keep sitting around, right? You can't keep doing just that. So I think that's been really, really powerful and important to learn. The last two, my fourth one on my list is physical touch. And that doesn't mean it's not important to me, right? Just because it's fourth out of five, doesn't

mean it's not important. It just means that there's a hierarchy. Now, physical touch often people think that just means sex. And it's like, well, it can do, but it doesn't mean just that. It means a comforting touch. It means a show of love. It could be a hug in the morning, a kiss on the forehead. It could be giving someone a massage. It's basically a sense of physical connection, holding hands as you walk down the street, putting your arm around someone else.

Like, it's the playfulness that comes with it as well. And I think for a lot of people, they just feel so disconnected intimately from their partners because they can't remember the last time they felt loved in that way. And I know that for me and Rady, since we've been married,

she's always gone to sleep with her head on my chest. And when we're traveling or I'm traveling or we're not in the same place and I don't have that, it's like, it's a part of that intimate connection that we have. It's a part of our feeling of being together and it really is a huge, huge thing. So, it's really interesting to me how, for a lot of people, physical touch just become sexualized. And it doesn't need to be. There are different ways of it playing true in our lives. I think there's a lot of us that, you know,

you could be having the best sex ever, but you want to be able to actually have a sense of connection throughout the day when you're not in that zone. And so I just really, really believe that that's something to think about. And then fifth and final is for me, acts of service. And acts of service, I struggle with giving this. This is what you realize.

The lower you go on your list, the less good you are at giving it. Right? So the higher up on the list, words of information and giving gifts, I love doing those two things. Acts of service, I find harder to do because I don't have as much time. And then I have friends who really appreciate Acts of service, it brings them joy. It makes them feel like if I help my friend move,

they feel loved. If I help my friend reorganize their cupboard, they feel loved. Like that's how they feel love. And so if you're someone who needs Acts of service, invite people to help you and explain to them that this makes me feel like we're real friends. Right. These people want breakfast in bed. They want a dinner made. They want some help with chores around the house. And when people are

turning up to parties, giving birthday gifts, but they're not doing this, this person could feel very unloved. So I want to thank Gary Chapman again for writing the book, the five love languages. I highly recommend you read it. I really hope this has helped you understand the nuances, the subtleties behind them. And I want you to do this with a colleague, a loved one, a parent, a friend this week, and watch how your life changes.

Thank you so much for listening. Please do leave a review with words of affirmation. Really appreciate you all. And honestly, I've got so many exciting updates. Please keep a lookout. I can't wait for you to get excited about everything that's coming your way. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you. Thank you. When my daughter ran off to hop trains, I was terrified I'd never see her again, so I followed her into the train yard. This is what it sounds like inside the box-car.

And into the city of the rails, there I found a surprising world, so brutal and beautiful that it changed me. But the rails do that to everyone. There is another world out there, and if you want to play with the devil, you're going to find them there in the rail yard. Undenail Morton, come with me to find out what waits for us and the city of the rails. Listen to City of the Rails on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or, cityoftherails.com. What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War II,

an opera singer who burned down an honorary to kidnap her lover, and a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, haven't come in? They're all real women who were left out of your history books. You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast. Check it out on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Getting better with money is a great goal for 2023. But how are you going to make it happen?

Ordering a book that lingers on your nightstand isn't going to do the trick. Instead, check out our podcast, How to Money. That's right, we're two best buds offering all the helpful personal finance information you need without putting you to sleep. We offer guidance three times a week and we talk about debt payoff, saving more, intelligent investing, and increasing your earnings. Millions of listeners have trusted us to help them make progress with their financial goals. You can listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you

Millions of listeners have trusted us to help them make progress with their financial goals. You can listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.