On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 3 Ways To Cultivate More Compassion In Your Life To Live Without Judgement & Negativity

Episode Date: September 25, 2020

Jay Shetty believes that the monk mindset is for anyone seeking more compassion, focus, discipline and purpose in their lives. Listen in as Jay shares the wisdom from his book, Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind For Peace and Purpose Every Day, with Eva Longoria. Eva and Jay discuss the dangers of negativity, the importance of finding your true identity. They also dive into how to recognize Ego and how to follow your purpose. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Regardless of the progress you've made in life, I believe we could all benefit from wisdom on handling common problems, making life seem more manageable, now more than ever. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the One-Dee Feed Podcast, where I interview thought-provoking guests who offer practical wisdom that you can use to create the life you want. 25 years ago, I was homeless and addicted to heroin. I've made my way through addiction recovery, learned to navigate my clinical depression, and figured out how to build a fulfilling life. The one you feed has over 30 million downloads and was named one of the best podcasts by

Apple Podcasts. Oprah Magazine named this is one of 22 podcasts to help you live your best life. You always have the chance to begin again and feed the best of yourself. The trap is the person often thinks they'll act once they feel better. It's actually the other way around. I have had over 500 conversations

with world-renowned experts and yet I'm still striving to be better. Join me on this journey. Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose. First of all, I just want to say a huge thanks to all of you who've gone out and ordered

a copy of Think Like A Monk that has made it a number one New York Times best seller. That's a real celebration for us. We're celebrating how wellness and wisdom is winning thanks to each and every single one of you. And to celebrate that this Friday, today, I wanted to share with you an episode that was a conversation between me and my good friend, Eva Longoria, who read the book and had a ton of great questions. And I thought you'd really appreciate some of the answers,

because sometimes when I'm having these very personal conversations, people ask a lot of thoughts and insights that I think will resonate with all of you. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you've got your book, make your notes, scribble all over it, highlight away, and if you haven't already, you can grab a copy at thinklikeamunkbook.com.

And when you do that, you can also get your free meditation guide because I'm doing the 20 days of meditations right now. So join in on Facebook and Instagram live whenever you can. Thanks so much. And I can't wait for you to hear my conversation with my good friend, Eva Longoria. Oh my God, Jay, you wrote a book! You're so sweet.

You've been supporting this book from when it just existed on a laptop. So I'm so grateful that you finally have the real face in your home and in your hands. I'm so excited. I mean, everybody must know Jay, but if you don't know Jay, he's the social media superstar. He's host of the number one podcast on purpose. I Highly recommend it. It's one of my favorite podcasts. He has an amazing guests on there and your conversations with them but everything from like Dennis Rodman to a Neurobrain guy

It's so great and you can get you know so much wisdom from so many of these people. Jay's also been considered a monk for modern times. I read that. I read that article. It was so good. I don't know about that. But yeah, no, I'm not a monk anymore, but I did live as a monk. And just like what you were saying, when I wrote this book,

I think like a monk, for me, it was, I just got fascinated by monks' minds. And after I lived as a monk, I me it was, I just got fascinated by monks' minds. And after I lived as a monk, I read all these studies that showed that monks from all traditions had the calmest, happiest, and most compassionate brains in the world. And so when they did brain scans on monks, they found that they had the highest form of gamma waves. And I thought, wow, this is amazing, what if everyone could learn to think like that and have more compassion in their life, have more peace in their life and have more purpose in their life. And not have to go to India for three years like you did. Right? Yeah, yeah,

this is an recruitment strategy for sure. This is not the end of this conversation. We're not going to shave our heads and get into films, right? I only Eva, only Eva's gonna. I'm not. But I'm so excited to talk to you about the book because I read it and I loved it. But like you say, first of all, you introduction, not even why you became like how you became a month. You come from a family, like probably most families where they're like, we paid for your education. You're going to go and get a good job.

And then you had to tell them, hey, I'm gonna go live with them. What was that? Because the introduction is so great and you talk about, you know, the three options you had, which was lawyer, doctor, or failure. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, my parents, my mom and dad have been very supportive of my crazy decisions as I got them more used to them. And they become more and more open as time went on. And I think that's the joy of parents that, either you're amazing, you've won so many hats in your life.

So you know what it's like to chase your dreams and do multiple things at different times. And my parents were very supportive, but the extended community and society had so many expectations, opinions, and obligation. And I had my own, and I think everyone in the world has theirs. And I was just saying to someone today that becoming a monk is almost like the ultimate rebellion, because it's like saying that this doesn't work, and I'm going to do it differently. And so whether you want to become a monk or whether you want to be

an artist and no one in your family is an artist or whether you want to be an author or a musician, and no one in your family has ever done that. This book's written in a way to help you make that transition and that rebellion because becoming a monk is just breaking the mold of society. And I think all of us are trying to break the mold. You broke the mold, and I think each and every one of us has a monk mindset inside of us.

Well, this is the book, think like a monk. When is it out, Jay? It's out yesterday. It's out. Yeah, sure, Jay. Oh my God. I first of all love the cover. But in the book, you talk about just generally,

from a macro point of view, you talk about adopting the monk mindset is not only possible, it's necessary. In this day and age, and I think that ironic that you are a social media star, it's like How much how do you reconcile That I mean, I think it's because your goal was to make spirituality viral, right? Like yeah, it's walking through the reason why right you wanted to write the book and make this for everybody to have Yeah, so when I went and learned all these principles living as a monk

Yeah, and I always described those three years like monk school, and then the last seven years since I've left, I left in 2013, we're in 2020 now, and so the last seven years has been like the exam. So it's almost like everything I learned in school, I've been testing it every year, and now I felt like, oh, so much of it worked, and I want to share the parts of it that worked. And when we talk about social media, to realize even the truth is that I was trying to do this in so many ways, whether it was speeches, whether it was working, I was coaching people, I was working with people directly.

I was trying to pitch it to media companies. But when I started out trying to share these messages, no one really cared, like no one was interested. And so I just used social media as a tool. It wasn't that I knew it or I knew that it would work or anything. I just didn't have any other options left. And so that's kind of where I got to in life. Where I was like, no one really cares about what I'm talking about. So the only option I have is to try and use social media because it's free for everyone. And you can create what you like. And I'm so grateful that everyone's responded with so much love.

So, well, that just kind of gives you an idea of the thirst that people have for wisdom. And, you know, you say it in the book, like, you went through this journey so that we could learn from it. I really think, feel like that was your purpose. There's so many amazing chapters. There's like a purpose and intention and negativity and fear.

And I feel like one of my favorite chapters was the intention because you talk about like, there's different motivations for why you do things. It could be because of fear you're scared to fail. So you're going to go do it or love or was a desire or duty. And I find like your intention for writing this book was so pure. Like it was just like, I have to tell people

about the monk perspective and how that wisdom that you learned is like thousands of years old and hasn't changed, right? Yeah, it hasn't changed. And even if you look at human challenges today, yes, I understand that technology is advanced and yes, I understand that we're living in a different world. But at the same time, our challenge is still remain.

We all want to find love. We all want to find a sense of purpose. No one wants negativity. Everyone wants more forgiveness in their life. Like the things we yearn for are still those human exchanges and interactions. Right. And therefore, I find that this perspective is so necessary, as you said today, because who doesn't want a world where we're more compassionate, more loving, more kind, but also more focused, more disciplined and more empowered to make a difference.

I think that's something that we're all yearning for right now. Well, I think you have a great chapter on negativity and I want to touch on it a little bit because like again, social media, so much of what we digest every day could be negative, whether it's negative comments or negative posts or even reading the news, you get just to bombard it. And you and I have kind of some,

a lot of the same mentors, Malcolm or Deepak or the four agreements, I was a book that I, Yeah, don't get that easy. Don't get that easy. You talked about words have emotional poison. And then when I was pregnant, I read Deepak's book about pregnancy and spirituality

and he said, be careful what you ingest. Like be careful what is coming through. And you have a whole chapter on negativity and how when you were in the, in the Esheram, Esheram's esheram. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, the monastery, yeah. The monastery that you got so used to know gossip and then you go into the real world and it is everywhere.

And I feel like that is happening a lot with people. Like they want to fit in, they want to gossip, they want it. We all want to. Like it's human nature, right? It takes work to avoid negativity. Can you talk a little bit about that chapter? Because it's one of my favorite ones. How's that New Year's resolution coming along?

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I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities, like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or, what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the

planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Intercosmos with David Eagelman on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started with this beautiful quote that I want to show up to everyone here. And it's from the Disaku Ikeda, which is chapter two, negativity in the book. And in it, it says, it is impossible to build one's own happiness on the unhappiness of others. And that's what that chapter's based on,

that quotes by Daisaku Akida. And that wisdom for me is just so powerful because I feel gossip or negatively talking about people, all we're trying to do is make ourselves feel a little bit better because someone else is struggling. But the problem with that mindset is that tomorrow you might be the one struggling and someone might be talking about you. And so if you're building your happiness on the unhappiness of others, then tomorrow someone's going to

build their happiness on your unhappiness and the cycle just goes on. Whereas when we realize, wait, I'm on my journey, you're on your journey. I've got lessons I need to learn. You've got lessons you need to learn. And actually, one of the stories in there, either that I don't know if you like this story, but I love it. It's an old parable and a zen story of the evil king who comes to me, the good king. Yeah. So the evil king comes to me, the good king, I won't give away the whole story. But the point is that so many of the times we project our own insecurities and our own pains onto people around us.

And that's a really harsh reality, but it's the only way to start avoiding this negative spiral. When you start talking about about someone, it just keeps going going, going. Well, but that ties in all the chapters, tying together, but that ties into your identity chapter, right? And so I feel like, well, you said, this is a quote from identity.

It's like, our self-image is tied up on how we think others see us. But most of our efforts at self-improvement are really just trying to meet that imagined ideal. So most of our efforts to be a better person or whatever isn't even for yourself. It's so well, I hope they think I'm nice. I hope they think I'm a good person. I want my legacy to be that I'm a humanitarian. And it's not really working inward out. It's working outward in. And if that quote, I love the one about um, it's a cool.

I've lived by this quote. I love. I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what I think you think I am. I am What I think you think I am. I love that part. Negativity and identity and like we live in social constructs, right? Of like what people think we should be, whether women or sexuality or race and They're so applicable right now. Talk about. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I love how you're connecting it to what's happening in the world right now Because I think that's the most important part about this wisdom that it's so relevant and so applicable. And yeah, I think the challenge is that we've all built up boxes and we try and put people into boxes to understand them. And the mind does that to make life easier, but actually it makes life harder because people are more diverse and people are more than the box and the label

you put them in. And people want to be seen as more and people, but because since we were young, we were told to, it was almost like standing line. You have to fit in. And then all of a sudden, as you grow up, it's all about standing out, right? No one wants to fit in when they grow up. When you're young, you're told to fit in. And so I find that a lot of what's needed is personal stillness and silence and space.

To actually, well, what do I believe in? Who do I want to be for myself? And let me think about how to best express that, rather than getting tied up in the noise. And I think this is something we have to do daily. It's not something you do once, and then you're done with it. Like I have to do this every day.

My life is so different now to what it used to be. Like I have to do this every day. My life is so different now to what it used to be. And I'm challenged with this every day. And you know, we're always a work in progress. And you can't just say, okay, I'm done with that. I figured out who I am now. Yeah. I think last time I was on the podcast with you, I was talking about this child rearing podcast.

I listened to podcast with child psychologist about a race. It's called Raising Good Humans by Dr. Eliza. And she said, for toddlers, you have to meet them where they're at, right? Like, if they're screaming because they want the toy, play with them with that toy and meet them where they're at. And I thought, that's for everybody. That's not for toddlers. That's for people. Right? Like, I've met some people who were just rude and angry. And I and I go wow I don't know what has

made them to be in this space but that's where they're at right yes so I'm gonna accept that that's where that person's at and then another time that person's not in that space and absolutely yeah or not is evolved and so meeting I feel like identity has a lot to do with that like you have to some people just don't haven't figured it out yet. And that's okay. Totally. And I love what you're saying because we've all come from such different backgrounds. And so what was normal in your culture maybe totally abnormal in mind and what's not. And I think that's the part that we, we almost need to open up our minds to which is that compassion and non-judgment part of like, let me really understand what this person's saying. even if I disagree with them right now let me at least understand it

fully. I think sometimes we we don't know the line between disagreement and understanding. Well and I think if you can even tie that to what is happening right now in our country and in the states but like in the world of tying to the ego chapter right? Yeah. I quote, but like we have such an ego about those boxes, whether it's political parties or whether it's race or whatever it is and it's so separating to us. So how could the monk mind set help us right now and not do that? Don't judge people by the box.

You put them in in your mind, you know. I think we have to strip away the boxes and see people as humans. And we really have to see people understand that background, understand why they made decisions, and why do we not do this? Because it's hard work. Because we want to be lazy. The mind wants the easy route, the shortcut, the fast way out to be like, oh, I saw you do that. Okay, you're not a good person. Oh, I saw you do that. You're a bad person. And the point is, no one's inherently good or bad. You know, we have Nelson Mandela talk about that. Nelson Mandela would say that if people can be taught to hate, then then they can be educated for love.

And you know, it's like that we're taught to hate, right? We're trained to hate. And I think that that's what the ego does so much is that it makes you feel safe by hating someone else, rather than looking into yourself and trying to understand. So I really believe that the more we can listen to conversations where you just understand someone's humanity, not even the ideas, not their thinking, not their thought leadership, but still they are as a human. And I've been doing that. I've interviewed some people lately on the podcast and Dennis Rodman's a good example. And so many others who I like basketball, but I don't know that much. We, you know, we're I'm a soccer fan and you know, I'm a big football fan.

I don't know that much of my basketball. So when I sat down with Dennis Rodman, my fascination is not basketball. My fascination is humanity. It's who we are. What makes him him? Correct. Exactly. And I feel like if we can train ourselves and that's the monk mindset, the monk mindset

looks at everyone without their labels, without their ideologies, without their just looks at the humanity inside that person. And when you start there, then you can really have a conversation that tends to treat someone's heart. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast podcast

in each bite-sized daily episode, time management and productivity expert, Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to before breakfast on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible Hots and Mines on the planet. Oprah, everything that has happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it. Kobe Bryant, the results don't really matter. It's the figuring out that matters. Kevin Haw, it's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to create change. Luminous Hamilton, that's for me being taken that moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself,

because I think for a long time I wasn't kind to myself. And many, many more. If you're attached to knowing, you don't have a capacity to learn. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw, real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used the books They read and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours

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Listen to City of the Rails on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or, cityoftherails.com. You could do a whole book about ego. I mean, I think it's such a big word. You had a great podcast with Jada Pinkett Smith. Yeah. She really articulated it so great.

And she was talking about the martyr victim. Like she was like, I thought I didn't have an ego because I was so, you know, I was the victim. How could I have an ego? And it was like the same thing. Like shows up in manifest in different ways. Yeah. I remember her saying that from that conversation, she was, you know, we were talking about how the ego either makes you think you're the best or it makes you think you're the worst. And so it's like, I have the worst life. I have it worst. I have the worst career, the worst family, the worst partner. Like, it's like, my situation is the worst. And that's again, the ego's competing to be the worst. And so just as the ego competes to be the best, the reverse, the false ego competes to be the worst. And the truth is that all of us, I think Robin Roberts said this, and she said, if we through all of our problems into a pile and we look to them, we'd grab ours right back.

And it's that, you know, Robin, and I just thought that's such a unique perspective that, yeah, if you actually look to everyone's problems in the same place, you'd just be like, oh, yeah. I might know I to probably bit better than I would if it was a problem. Yeah, I think that, here's the thing, I also want people to know that you're not saying,

is a monk mindset means no ambition, no dreams, no competition, like that's not what the book is saying. And so I think sometimes people might go, oh, come on, I mean I want to have a nice car, I want to have a house one day like you explain it so well in the book but talk about how that doesn't mean that among you. Yeah thank you for noticing that subtlety because I'm so glad you're solving that misconception because a lot of people say that to me they're like Jay but you know you live in LA

now and you're married and you know you have a home. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not telling you to live like a monk. I'm saying that there are certain mindsets of how a monk thinks about things. So the first thing that we understood as monks is that nothing is good or bad. Everything is given meaning by how you use it. So if I take, for example, this microphone that I have here, it's like, this is the microphone we recorded our podcast on,

and the microphone's not good or bad. It's given meaning by how I use it. I can either stand here and say, really hateful, hurtful things towards people, or we can be asking questions about humanity and compassion and love. And similarly, social media is not good or bad. It's how you use it.

Some people are using it to pull people down. Some people are using it to pull people down, some people are using it to pull people up. So as a monkey realize that money is just energy, that fame, power, or just energy, that resources, access, or just energy, and all of us have a choice every day to use our energy to lift people up or pull people down. And so it's not about not having it,

it's about what you do when you get it. Yeah. And that's the key part. And that's what shows detachment. So people think detachment means indifference. But detachment doesn't mean indifference. Detachment is a beautiful statement by a Islamic. I love the concept of detachment.

Please talk about it. So there's a beautiful statement by an Islamic teacher, Al-Shafi, and he says that, detachment doesn't mean that you own nothing. Detachment means that nothing owns you. And what that means is that it doesn't mean you can't have the car or you can't have the house and you can't have the career. It's that those things don't own you.

You're engaging with them to serve and support as many other people as you can. And so the monk mindset can actually help you become more focused and disciplined. And again, going back to what you said before, purifying your intention. If your intention is just to be rich and famous, there's enough rich and famous people that will tell you that that's not worth it. The intention chapter, that's where you have the Y ladder. And I remember, God, it was before COVID, way before COVID.

Jay and I met and we went for a call for lunch. And I was having a rut in a question in my life. And I was like, Jay, so I need to figure out what questions I need to ask myself because I got to figure out if I really want to do that. If I want to go this way. And you gave me the Y ladder. And then I read it later in the book.

I was like, that was the Y ladder. But because you say, we all have different goals, but we all want the same things, a life full of joy and meaning. But if you change happiness, that can be elusive and that it's hard to sustain a high level of joy. But to feel meaning shows that our actions have purpose. So I love that.

I love that, the way you put that, to feel meaning shows that we have purpose. And then you're not chasing the car and the house and the, because that'll be a constant chase. But if you chase meaning and purpose, it's more fulfilling. So that's, monk mindset now. Yeah, I mean, the way you've understood the book,

either, is the way I pray everyone understands it. It's just the way you formulate it and the way you're expressing it's beautiful. And yeah, the goal is, and I took what's all the time, like if you live your purpose and find your meaning, everything else will come as a byproduct of that. Yeah. And that's a beautiful life to live where the abundance comes because you're so aligned. And it's when we're out of alignment that we're chasing something that isn't there. And I can express this for my own self.

If you get everything out of alignment, you won't be satisfied. But when you have everything in alignment, it feels really beautiful to have. And so yeah, I'm not encouraging anyone to not be successful to not go after their goals Actually, I want to help you get there in a way that you can keep it That's the difference in the monk mindset the monk mindset doesn't teach you how to get to your goals It tells you how to keep success and keep joy When you've got there and I know so many people and I know you do too that Have got there without that and then had to evolve into that after it,

to make sense of all of it. Yeah, well, okay, I'm gonna ask you one more question, because there's too much to talk about, because we're gonna do a meditation after this. So, what is the one thing people can do today that can help them have a monk mindset? Like, what is the one thing? I mean, not, there's a hundred things, but what's the first step, I guess?

What's the first step anyone can take? Yeah, so I'm going to give them one a really easy one. Okay. And it's because this is how we would start our days every day. And so a monk starts their day with gratitude, gratitude to the earth, gratitude to their teachers and mentors, gratitude to the divine gratitude to God.

And so I want you today, everyone, not just to feel gratitude, not just to experience it, but I want you to express something. Now, here's the key about expressing gratitude. Scientifically and spiritually, it only works when it's done in this way. So even name two of your friends, they don't have to be real. You can give me imaginary names if you don't want to get my real name. Ross and Maria. Okay, we'll take Ross and Maria. If Ross and Maria are real, here's my disclaimer.

None of this reflects who they are in real life. I do not know Ross and Maria. So let's say either you throw a party, once this is all over, you throw a party at your home, everyone comes, your close friends come, hopefully I'm invited. And Ross and Maria come. And the next day they both message you. Ross messages you in typical Ross style. And he goes, thanks, Eva. How did great time? That's it. And then Maria message you and she goes, Eva, you're amazing. I loved it yesterday. Your family is so beautiful. And the food was incredible. And oh my god god the games were so much fun I needed this in my life I'm so glad you're in my life okay now when you get

those it is a very grateful person so you're grateful for both of them but which one fills you with more joy right that Maria one obviously Maria and less anyone's being awkward it's Maria that fills you with more joy now why is that so scientifically and spiritually, when our gratitude is specific, when our gratitude is detailed, not only do we feel more joy giving it, but the other person feels more joy receiving it. So when you're saying thank you to someone, tell them why you're thankful to them. Be really clear about it. Because when you think about that, you go, oh wow, if that person did that for me, they must really

love me. And then the person who's receiving it thinks, wow, if that person thought about that, they must really love me. And all of a sudden you've got this beautiful human bond and we started like that. You know, we got to know each other very quickly. And we had a mutual friend Mona and Huda. Yeah. That's that new we would get along while again Mona who I love so much and you I love so much. And so it's just when you start that when you express gratitude it changes your life. So that's the simplest thing. Yeah, personalized gratitude. There's so many medications.

The other thing I think is meditation. That's I mean you talk about it, but like people think it's hard, right? And it's like it's so hard and it shouldn't be hard. The point is it should be effortless. And so I know what do you meditate for two hours a day? Yeah, about that. Yeah, one and a half to two hours now, yeah. Oh my gosh.

I've been swacking. I've gone down in one and a half sometimes in life. Oh, because you're busy launching the book. That's why. Well, you guys, it's available today, yesterday. So think like a monk, it's so great. I just love it. There's so many gems in here that you guys are going to go, oh my gosh, I love when a book really just, you know, opened something up and knew that, that you go, oh, that's what I've been trying to articulate and never

have been able to. And you do it so many times. And I thank you for going on a journey to be among so that we have you now today, your podcast on purpose and it would now your book and just access as a friend to me. Thank you so much for everything. Your videos are just, I can't tell you how many people send me one of your videos from Instagram going, oh my gosh, you've got to check this this out and I go, I really saw. I really saw. Because I follow Jay, but like they go, oh my gosh, in case you needed to hear this today, in case you needed to see this today. And I'm just thankful that you exist. I'm thankful to you. I'm so thankful that we connected. I'm so grateful we became friends.

I'm still gutted that I've never met Santa yet. So I'm so happy now. I know. I'm so happy. I'm so gutted that I've never met Santi yet. So I'm I know internally a bit mad at you. This is a better I'm going to get my CV videos of him. I fall more in love with him. So No, you're a good. Oh god. People love Santi. Yeah. He's the best. He's the best. And No, I'm so grateful to you, but thank you for your continued love and support. I don't take it for granted and I just love the soul and energy you are. And you're such a powerhouse. You're just such a powerhouse.

You're so deep. But then you go so far and wide to make a change in the world. And you're living this. You're living everything that's in the book. So thank you for giving people an example. It's work. And it's just so rewarding. It's so rewarding. But there's so rewarding. It's so rewarding. But you

know, there's so many, I'm so curious and I devour all of these lessons from many, many people and I'm so glad that you're going to now be one of those people. I get to digest every day. So do you want to do a five minute meditation? If you have time, if you don't, we don't. I do. I'm absolutely. So we'll do a meditation. I'm using a three hour crystal. We're not doing three hours, we're doing five minutes. But I'm using a YouTube sound from a YouTube page called Healing Vibrations. They're beautiful. If anyone wants to use it afterwards. And this is a 432 hertz, three hour crystal singing ball healing sound. So if you go onto the channel healing vibrations, they have so many beautiful sound tracks to meditate on and sleep to and everything. So check

them out. I don't know who they are. I just love them. And so I've been telling everyone about them, but they're really, really brilliant. And we're going to use one of their sounds today. So we're all going to close our eyes, everyone. Just close your eyes. And either just give me a thumbs up when you hear the sound. Great. So I just want everyone to find a place of calm, balance, ease, stoneness and peace. Whenever your mind wanders, just gently and softly bring it back to calm, balance, ease, Ease, Stearness and Peace. Become aware of your natural breathing pattern breathing in and out, breathing in through your nose and with your mouth slightly open, exhaling, just becoming aligned with your mouth slightly open, exhaling,

just becoming aligned with your natural breathing pattern. And as you breathe in, roll your shoulders back and up. And as you breathe out, roll them backwards and down. As you breathe in, roll your shoulders back and up. As you breathe out, roll them back and down. As you breathe in, roll your shoulders back and up. And as you breathe out, roll your shoulders back and down. Just feeling aligned and rooted and grounded. Now place your right palm on your heart and repeat after me. I'm exactly where I meant to be. She can say to yourself, I'm exactly where I meant to be.

And once more, I'm exactly where I meant to be present with your mind and body. Reminding yourself that you're not ahead of behind. At all the power exists right now, here with you. Allow the thoughts to come in and out, just being present with your breath. Place your palms upward on your knees, your palms facing upwards. And as you breathe in, cleanse your palms. And as you breathe out, extend them out. Extend your fingers. Breathe in and cleanse your palms. And breathe out and extend your fingers.

Breathe in and punch your palms and breathe out and extend your fingers. We're going to do that three more times, but this time when you exhale, I want you to feel like you're letting go of any negative stress or tension-filled energy and as you breathe in you're breathing in uplifting and powering energy. So breathe in positive uplifting energy and breathe out. Really exhaling and letting go. Breathe in and breathe out. And breathe in powerful uplift energy.

And breathe out any negative yourself, I let go of anything that doesn't serve me. And when you're ready, in your own time, at your own pace, you can gently and softly open your eyes. So that was just a short five-minute meditation and hopefully allowed you all to just feel present with yourself and allowed you to just rest into your breath and let go. And just doing that for five minutes a day allows you to just really feel that your present with your body not rushing around in your head or your mind. And also recognizing that you can train yourself to let go. So hopefully that helped Thiever and I hope everyone watching that helped too. Oh my gosh, I love it. I love it. I love meditation so much. I love journaling. I love all of it. I, but you do make a point about meditation about it's like anything else. The more you dedicate to

it, the better it works. If you want to learn a language, you don't do a five minutes a day. You're going to do a little longer. And if you want to meet somebody and spend time with language, you don't do a five minutes a day, you're going to do a little longer. And you want to meet somebody and spend time with them, you don't say just five minutes a day. So try to build, try to build upon it, right? Absolutely. Yeah. This is amazing. Thank you so much.

Thank you, Jay. Thank you for letting me ask you a million questions about this. I still have a million more conversations I could have with you. I am so happy that this poured out of you, and I know it was a lot of work. So it's available now. Go and order it. It's amazing.

And don't forget to go to Jay's podcast on purpose. It has a year struggling with any topic. You just go through the episodes and go. That's what I do. I just go like, what do I need today? And then I go, oh my God. I can't wait to have you back on. We've got some really exciting guests coming up too to so I'm really looking forward to your feedback

I love getting your feedback on the podcast. It means the world to me. So thank you I'm so excited about I think like a monk. Thank you everyone who stayed with us my gosh Everybody stayed with us and we're gonna repost this so if you guys Yes, the beginning or the end Jay and I were both posted on our social media channels. Yeah, perfect. Thank you, Eva, you look bad. Many blessings to everybody who is on right now. We'll be zoomed in there so everybody. Thank you so much. Thank you, J. Thank you everyone. Thank you so much. And give my love to Santa and Pepe as well. Take care. I will. Yeah, thank you guys. Feel it out. Bye. When my daughter ran off to hop trains, I was terrified I'd never see her again, so I followed her into the train yard.

This is what it sounds like inside the box-car! And into the city of the rails, there I found a surprising world, so brutal and beautiful that it changed me, but the rails do that to everyone. There is another world out there, and if you want to play with the devil, you're going to find them there in the rail yard. I'm Danielle Morton, come with me to find out what waits for us and the city of the rails. Listen to City of the Rails on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

Or cityoftherails.com. The therapy for Black Girls Podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

Take good care. I am Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. This season, we dive deeper into highlighting red flags and spotting a narcissist before they spot you. Each week, you'll hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and their process of healing.

Listen to Navigating Narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. you