On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 3 Ways to Stop Feeling Stuck and Start Turning Your Life Around & How to Break Free From the Noise

Episode Date: October 7, 2022

Today, I’m going to share with you my first ever public interview with my friend Tom Bilyeu of the Impact Theory podcast. It is one of my favorite conversations because we talk about the power self awareness has in influencing your relationships with others especially with the people close to you and at work. I also talk about breaking free from the norm, from what society expects from us, and from the limits we have set for ourselves. Once we become self aware, we can then start asking questions that need honest answers and we can often get these answers from people we look up to and from our experiences. And as the level of self awareness increases, we make better decisions and eventually, enjoy positive results.If you want to pre-order the book, 8 Rules of Love, go to https://8rulesoflove.com/Key Takeaways:00:00:00 Intro00:04:54 How did you find your fourth option?00:13:07 We live in echo chambers00:16:50 What is power?00:20:14 What’s the best part of being a monk?00:23:45 What is an ideal life?00:26:51 Start your day with gratitude00:32:49 Self awareness00:40:47 Questions to ask yourself00:44:46 Three questions you are often asked00:49:31 The three E’s of life00:51:52 Making wisdom go viralLike this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally! Do you want to meditate daily with me? Go to go.calm.com/onpurpose to get 40% off a Calm Premium Membership. Experience the Daily Jay. Only on Calm Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The One You Feed explores how to build a fulfilling life admits the challenges we face. We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear through guidance on emotional resilience, transformational habits, and personal growth. I'm your host, Eric Zimmer, and I speak with experts ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers offering powerful lessons to apply daily. Create the life you want now. Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Nunehm.

I'm a journalist, a wanderer, and a bit of a bond-vivant, but mostly a human just trying to figure out what it's all about. And not lost is my new podcast about all those things. It's a travel show where each week I go with a friend to a new place and to really understand it, I try to get invited to a local's house for dinner. Where kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party, it doesn't always work out. Ooh, I have to get back to you. Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Eva Longoria. And I'm Mike Teckelmister Hoen. We're so excited to introduce you to our new. I'm Eva Longoria. And I'm Mike DeGolmester Cohen. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast, Hungry for History. On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe or two

for you to try at home. Listen to Hungry for History on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose the number one health podcast in the world thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. Now, I sometimes get a little nostalgic. I get a little reflective and introspective, and I wanted to share with you. I believe it's the first ever podcast public interview

I ever did. And I always like to remind myself, not only where I started, but why I'm doing what I'm doing and the intention that got me to where I am. And listening to this episode, I really feel so connected to that purpose. I think this was one of my favorite interviews I ever did.

It was in my friend Tom Beliu. I think the questions you asked were so powerful and I hope that you get to hear answers in here. That support your journey to find it your passion, to finding your purpose, to having meaningful relationships. So I can't wait for you to listen to this one. Share it, absorb it, pass it on. Thank you so much. Pass it on, thank you so much. Often the advice I give to people today is fast forward where you are, look at yourself in 10, 15, 20 years time, and ask yourself the question, is that where I want to be? And if the answer is no, then you need to find a new path to just get to understand yourself.

You don't know what you need in your life until you figure out who you are. Everybody, welcome to Impact Theory. You were here my friends because you believe that human potential is nearly limitless but you know that having potential is not the same as actually doing something with it. So our goal with this show and company is to introduce you to the people and ideas that will help you actually execute on your dreams. Alright, today's guest is a former monk whose wisdom has truly gone viral. After finishing business school, he turned down lucrative offers from prestigious companies, shaved his head and hit the road.

For three years, he traveled across India, Europe, and England, living as a monk, studying, meditating, and building food and shelter programs for those in need. He was definitely in love with what he was doing, but he knew that it didn't scale. So driven by a desire to share what he was learning with as many people as possible, he re-engaged with the world, and dove headfirst into learning about the tools and techniques that might allow knowledge to spread as fast as entertainment. And to that end, he joined Accenture helping them build their digital division while learning about the forces shaping the new digital landscape.

He learned fast and quickly became their number one social media influencer in a company of 400,000 people. Along the way, he also helped advise over 150 executives on their personal brands, allowing him a very broad base with which to test his theories. And leveraging what he learned, in 2016 he launched his own Facebook page, and it exploded in less than 12 months, his inspiring, entertaining, and highly useful videos garnered over 1 billion views, and now he has north of 2.5 million followers globally.

He makes content not only for his own pages but for places like the Huffington Post and he has interviewed such luminaries as Tim Ferris, Simon Sinek, Dr. Shafali, Deepak Chopra and countless others. In the wake of his ridiculous level of success as both a content creator and digital strategist, he was named to Forbes 30 under 30 lists in 2017. The Asian media awards named his blog Best Blog in 2016 and he was added to National Geographic's Chasing Genius Council for which he is now helping to source solutions to some of the world's

greatest challenges. So please help me in welcoming the urban monk himself, the man who is proving that you really can scale impact, Jay Shetty. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Dude, truly an honor. Oh man, thank you. It goes both ways. So as I was telling you before, we started rolling in my research, I normally just go watch

all the interviews that people have done. And I've come across you like a million times in researching other people, so I thought, oh, this will be the easiest thing ever. Like this guy would have been interviewed a hundred times. And you haven't, like it's insane to me. Like you're pumping out so much content, nobody's gonna have you up yet.

So this is gonna be really fun to really go deep. Your ideas are clearly very well thought through, so this should be a lot of fun. Thank you, man. Yeah, I'm patient. Yes. Patient of having the right interviews, the right time, being with the right people,

having it be framed correctly. So I'm very honored to be a huge fan of the show. Thank you. So thank you so much for having me. Yeah, absolutely. So one thing I want to talk about, obviously, having lived in London, knowing a little bit about what it's like to grow up as an Indian kid in England.

How on earth did you buck the trend of, you once said, growing up in an Indian household, you're either a doctor, a lawyer, or a failure? Yeah, that's right, that's right. So how, like, how'd you not fall prey to that? Yeah, those were my three options, right? That was it, there was no fourth option. So according to my parents' family or the community,

I grew up in Amar, Falia. That's crazy. And how did I back the trend? I was really, really fortunate that very early on, I started to experiment with what mattered to me. Sometimes I got me in a lot of trouble. What people don't know about me is that I was suspended from school three times for trying out all sorts of things,

like things that people would never imagine of someone who goes on to be a monk. I was experimenting with all the drugs in the world. I had multiple relationships. I was really trying to search for some sort of meaning, fulfillment, and as far as long as I've known, I've been chasing thrill. I really value thrill and feeling like my nuts.

I did that coming. Yeah, no, not many people do. It's very different. From 14 to 18, I was like this kid who just wanted to try new things out. And my parents rhetoric would always be, well, make sure you get good grades. And I used to think, well, if I can be bad and get good grades, then it all works, right? Everyone's happy. So that's kind of what I did.

And at 18, I was really fortunate when I met a monk. And this monk was invited to speak. And I kind of just went because one of my friends forced me to. At that time, I was listening to CEOs and entrepreneurs and business people and marketers who I thought that's what I was aspiring to be like. And then I hear this monk and he captivated me like no one had ever captivated me before.

It was like staring at the most beautiful woman on the planet. You know, I was completely fixated on him and his message. And that is the beginning, without me going into too much detail before we probe, that was the beginning of what changed me, because I went from being someone who did only want all those things to become successful and trying to, but I started hearing my own in a voice, much more in all that noise that I had around me. I remember one of my, my parents had a maths tutor for me because they wanted me amazing at maths. And I was pretty good at numbers and I'd have this tutor and he'd tell me that he goes, the reason that you're struggling with the

next question is because you're always worried about what your parents think. And that really stayed in my head. I was just like, wow, so as long as I'm trapped by what my parents think, I can actually never find the answers to the real questions of life. And there are all these little things happening. I lost two great friends when I was 16. One girl died in a car accident, one guy died because he was involved in drugs and violence. That made me rethink everything.

I just thought to myself, wait a minute, these were beautiful people, people that I loved, people that in my opinion were good people, and I just lost them in a moment. And it was kind of like this collation of little things that just made me think, wait a minute, having money, having fame, this, that just doesn't seem to add up. And then meeting the monk kind of made that shift possible. And as I said, he was completely captivating. And then I found out that he'd given up jobs in Google and Microsoft to be a monk. And I thought to myself, who does that?

You know, he's given up everything that I'm chasing and that all my friends are chasing. But he seems happier than anyone I've ever met before. And he spoke about this incredible principle where he said that we should plant trees under who shade we do not plan to sit. And he was speaking about this principle of selfless sacrifice. And that kind of just penetrated me right there. When he said the words selfless sacrifice, for the first time in my life I felt a thrill about something that I never felt before. It's all wow. Giving up everything you have for the service of others

sounds like the best thing you could possibly do. And I don't know why I had that thought because I wasn't a spiritual kid growing up. I wasn't a religious kid growing up. I wasn't even a good kid growing up. I was just a rebel, a misfit, trying things out, and experimenting, which I still consider myself. And so what I started to do is I was intending

at companies and firms and corporates thinking I was getting a grad job afterwards. And then I'd spend the rest of my summer holidays intending in India, living with him as a monk. So I'd use all my summer and Christmas holidays to just be out there with the monks. And he introduced me to another 200 to 500 monks that would just like him, just as smart, just as bright,

giving up everything they had and using all their skills to make the world a better place. I wanna go back to, so, to why that resonated with you, which is really surprising. And maybe you're just, you know, so far ahead of where I was at the time, but that would have sounded absurd to me at that time. Did you already have a sense of unease

that like I'm a rebel without a cause or like what was it about that moment? And you, you seem very aware of yourself. So I'm hoping that some of that awareness was present then like what was that moment? I believe the moment was I was, I've always had friends who are older than me. And I could see a lot of them

in the most successful careers, successful jobs, beautiful partners, whatever it was, but I saw a sense of like a fulfillment meaning and purpose in their lives. And I've always been an observer and I would see these people who are like five years older than me, seven years older than me, maybe ten years older than me. And I'd be watching them and go, is that the life I want? And often the advice I give to people today is fast forward where you are, look at yourself in 10, 15, 20 years time and ask yourself the question, is that where I want to be? If you're in a company, look at the person who's 20 years ahead of you and ask yourself,

is that where I want to be? If you're in a startup, look at where other startups have got to and similar roles and go, is that where I want to be? And if the answer's no, then you need to find a new path. And for me, the answer at that time from observing was no. The path that my parents or society or the university I went through or the community I had that was carving out for me, it didn't feel like the path for me.

So I was almost seeking an alternative or a new path. I was just so fortunate that it happened to be an uplifting, powerful path as opposed to something that could have actually taken me down the wrong road because that could have been possible too. So walk me through the first time you step off the plane in India, it's summer. And so I'm living there, I'm waking up, I'm almost doing all the practices just as if you were shadowing a CEO. I'm just shadowing a monk. And so I'm just there, I'm waking up, I'm almost doing all the practices just as if you were shadowing a CEO. I'm just shadowing a monk. And so I'm just shadowing his lifestyles. So we wake up, he's like one of the most elite monks. So we're waking up at like 2 a.m. every day after sleeping at like 9 or 10

p.m. And then we study these ancient Vedas, which are 5,000 plus years old together. And we spend two hours, and I'm studying with the best of the best here. So he can like analyze and assimilateilate and I'm learning fast taking notes. Then 4 a.m. we go to collective meditation. We do those practices with the other monks as well. 6 a.m. we have personal meditation. So I'm literally going through the life of a monk and falling in love with it step by step going wow I've never had this experience before that I just threw myself in and I was practicing it to the tee

Right, it wasn't like oh no my back hurts when I sit on the floor I can't stay it for too long or you know today when people are like oh, I can't meditate for longer than two minutes I was like no, I'm gonna do it for two hours if that's what they're doing I'm gonna give it a go because I can only test The hypothesis will only be true if the experiment is carried out to the degree that they are. So if the hypothesis is if you live like this, you're a happy, more fulfilled, then I want to do that. All right, so let's explore this then to the lens of creating one's own perfect life.

Yes. Which is pretty interesting, especially because, and interesting because I think this is so accurate to the way that most people are. It's not like, especially because, interesting because I think this is so accurate to the way that most people are. It's not like, oh, there's some grand missing thing in my life, but you took that first action. So, codify this for me or for anybody that wants, they don't know what their ideal life looks like. They just know that they're not living it yet.

So, step number one is take it seriously. To find out if the hypothesis is true or not, you have to take the experiment, you have to do it sincerely. What comes after that? I think even one step before that is opening yourself up to new role models and new experiences. See, we live in echo chambers. We're just surrounded by the same thinking.

How often do you bump into a monk? You know, it just doesn't happen. You don't have, no one has a dinner party and goes, oh yeah, we've been sent by the monk, from town, like the local monk. Like, no one ever does that. And so we meet people who are just like us most of the time. And we talk about this in business all the time.

If you want to be a billionaire, spend time with billionaires. If you want to be a millionaire, spend time with millionaires. If you want to be a tech startup, spend time with, you know, that's the common rhetoric that we hear all the time. But what if you want to be a tech startup spend time with you know that's that's the common rhetoric that we hear all the time But what if you want to find purpose and master the mind? There's no one better than a monk who's master the mind So so for me the first step is just opening yourself up to new experiences and new role models

because most of us can't see ourselves in people so then we try and fit ourselves into the boxes that we do see. And I mean, there's this beautiful quote that I've been saying it everywhere, and I wish I wrote it, but I didn't. So it's by a philosopher and writer named Koolie. And he said that today, I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am

I can just let that blow your mind for a moment. It's so powerful. I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am I am what I think you think I am So we live in this perception of a perception of ourselves Hence my identity is made by what my parents think I should be. My identity is made up by what my college or university thinks I should achieve. While you're living in that bubble and that echo chamber, getting to what you really want to do is impossible. Because maybe that just doesn't fit.

And I think so many people feel that way today, that they don't fit into the current education system. They don't fit with the three or four or five careers that your taught exist. So that process of self excavation and actualization first requires being exposed. You can't be what you can't see. If I never saw a monk, I would never have wanted to be a monk.

If I never meet a billionaire, I wouldn't want to be one. Because I wouldn't know what that feels like. I don't know what it looks like. I don't know what it takes. And I think that's the biggest challenge of our society. I would not expose. So that's the first step. Being exposed to unique experiences and role models. Second step is finding that experience or role model that you're passionate about.

And exactly like you said, taking it seriously, shadow their network with them, spend time with them, observe them even from afar, it takes that observation being addicted to observing that person's lifestyle. And then the third step is growing yes or no. Does that work for me? Not everyone who's going to go off and become a monk is going to feel like the way I did and that's cool. But not everyone is going to go and follow and shadow a billionaire and go, that's exactly the lifestyle I want. They may want the result, but do they want the hard work that goes with it? And so for me, that's the third step. It's observing, focusing, shadowing, getting as close to the process of that individual,

and then going, yes or no, do I want that process? Not do I want the result. Everyone wants to be that monk who is fully enlightened, you know, can walk through, has an incredible aura that people just gravitate towards. But when you realize he has to wake up at 2 a.m. every day and sleeps about four to six hours, you're like, ah, you know, I don't want to do that. That doesn't sound like me. All right, so go a couple things. One, you said he's as powerful as he is to find power for me. Power being, so from amongst perspective, the greatest power is to be self-controlled,

to be able to train the mind and energy to focus it exactly where you want it and when you want it to be. You are completely detached and undeterred from external ups and downs. You're able to navigate anything that seems tough, challenging, fun, excitement, with the same amount of being equipoised and balanced in equanimity, without being too excited in pleasure

or being too depressed in pain, but knowing how to navigate every situation, to me, that's great strength and great power. I heard in one of your talks, you were saying, that if you look at a literal lifeline, a heartbeat, for instance, it's up and it's down, and people have this sense that something like enlightenment would be that the equanimity forever,

and just an even keel. And you said, but what does that resemble? It resembles a flat line when you die. Correct. So what is it like, what I love about you is you sort of went into the wilderness of being a monk, but you brought it back to the real world. Because when you talk about a monk,

you talk about them being detached. And that to me seems like the only real way to have that sort of super even keel existence, which is not appealing to me seems like the only real way to have that sort of super even keel existence, which is not appealing to me personally. So if you're bringing back that notion of power, of having control over yourself, not letting your emotions take you everywhere, but knowing that life is the series of ups and downs, what does that power look like when it's brought back? Absolutely, and actually that's the whole aim of monk training. It's more like a training system than it is a lifelong commitment. It is bringing

that mindset into the real world where you get to test it. Now I got to do that for real when I left being a monk around five years ago and when I left it was like oh my god I'm in the real world now again, real world. I have to think about how to apply all this. I'm going to test for real all this stuff that I've learned. And I was scared. Like I was nervous, I was anxious and all those things that I've been trained not to be rushed back. Because for the first time in my life, I had to really put it into practice. And I love that feeling. I'm so glad that I had to do that. So for me actually the mindset is completely trainable to bring it into the real world. That's that's what I'm trying to do. And what it allows you to do is it allows you to gain clarity and perspective when you need it because you know when you can just take a bird's eye view from something.

You know when you need to get close into something. You know when you need to pull back from something. There's a beautiful to get close into something. You know when you need to pull back from something. There's a beautiful verse in the Bhagavad Gita that says that detachment is not that you own nothing. Detachment is that nothing owns you. And I love it because to me that summarizes detachment in a way that it's not usually explained. Usually people see detachment as being away

from everything. Actually, the greatest detachment is being close to everything and not letting it consume and own you. And that's real power, that's real strength. How many people do we know that have had fame and then that fame has ruined them? So for me that definition of detachment is possible to practice even in the real world.

Rather than saying, oh I'm just going to have a really simple life, I'm just going to have nothing in life. What was the best part about being a monk? The best part about being a monk is that your morning routine and practice is so powerful that you can actually aspire for more incredible values in life. Because your mind is clear. Because your mind is clear. And you have that ability to have more clarity so you can seek that which is higher. So I'll give an example of what I mean. Is that what you're about to define? Yes, exactly.

So for me, being able to overcome ego, being able to overcome envy, being able to overcome jealousy, being able to overcome the negative of competitive state There's a positive competitive state and there's a negative competitive state Today when people are looking on Instagram or Facebook or YouTube All you're looking at is oh she got that many likes or he got that many likes She got engaged or he got married or oh God, look at her body or look at that. And it's like, that stuff's destroying us inside. Envy, jealousy, ego, greed, to be able to have enough clarity

to purify yourself of those things is going to alleviate the biggest anxieties and depressions of our time and mental health problems. And we know that. We know that because all the mental health research today suggests that things like isolation, overexposure, we now can have more pain, consumption in one day because of what we're exposed to than the pain we would have had in a lifetime. That's huge.

Stress, anxiety. Overwhelmed burnout. What do all of these have in common? A lack of perceived control over your time, thoughts and tasks. But what if I told you fixing all of these problems is as simple as fixing your mindset towards them. I know, not simple at all. Everyone's busy, everyone's stress, but we could all use more calm in our lives and

learning to stay grounded and grateful is truly a daily practice. That's why I've partnered with calm.com to bring you the daily J. If you've ever wanted to meditate with me and take back control over your busy mind, join me on the calm app for the daily J. A daily guided meditation where I'll help you find calm in the chaos, plant beautiful intentions for a happy, abundant life, and simple steps for positive actions

to get you closer to the life of your dreams. Meditate with me by going to calm.com forward slash J to get 40% off a calm premium membership. That's only $42 for the whole year for daily guided meditations. Experience the daily J only on calm. Hey, it's Debbie Brown. And my podcast deeply well is a soft place to land

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My work is rooted in advanced meditation, metaphysics, spiritual psychology, energy healing, and trauma-informed practices. I believe that the more we heal and grow within ourselves, the more we are able to bring our creativity to life and live our purpose, which leads to community impact and higher consciousness for all beings. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well is available now on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you listen to podcasts. Big love, namaste. The therapy for Black Girls podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help black women dig a little deeper into

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Take good care. How's that New Year's Resolution coming along? You know the one you made about paying off your pesky credit card debt and finally starting to save your retirement? Well, you're not alone if you haven't made progress yet, roughly four in five New Year's Resolutions fail within the first month or two. But that doesn't have to be the case for you and your goals, our podcast, How to Money, can help.

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that is the best thing about being a monk. Because you have that time, reflection, and a process, and an environment that only allows you to become more purified of those things. So if I was the interviewer that I wanted to be able to have asked you this question when we were on the topic, but I'm going to go back just as important enough. You gave us the three ways that you can really construct your ideal life, but define an ideal

life for me. So, an ideal life for me is a life, and this applies to a company and organization and institution for me, is an ideal life is when we all have a head, a heart, and a hand, or three elements together working in alignment. Without one or the other, we start to lose something. If you only have a head and a heart, you'll find that life is stable and defined. Yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. So a head is the clarity of vision. What you want.

What you want. Knowing what you want the way you picture life and being able to navigate and make the decisions to get there. That's a good head. A good heart is being able to understand what your intuition and heart wants, being able to connect and tap into that, understanding deeper and beyond the vision you may have painted for yourself.

So I often say to people that you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagined. And that's because the path that's paved up and down is far different to the path we pave. So you can have a great head and a great vision and a great mission and know where you wanna go. But if your heart's not able to have that resilience and be able to adapt and have compassion and care and all of that, then you're not gonna be able to make the toughest decisions without your heart. But to be able to realize that we need to care

and be sustainable and long lasting requires a heart. And a hand is that service. Wanting to pass that on, that which you have, wanting to give it forward, pay it forward. The idea of serving with what you have, I often say to people, your passion is for you, your purpose is for others. Your passion makes you happy, but when you use your passion to make a difference in someone else's life, that's a service, that's a purpose, and that's the hand. So those are my three elements of an ideal life. I like that a lot.

Now, when you first said it, I'm glad you defined it, because when you first said it, I thought the heart was going to be the part about, like, you know, just compassion and caring for others, doing something for other people. But I like that the hand being tied to service. So one thing that I think a lot about is deep fulfillment. Like really, when I think about, okay, what is a life we're living? Honestly, it comes down to neurochemistry for me

and it comes down to experiencing this world in a way that optimizes for sustainable pleasure, which I'll differentiate between a bowl of ice cream, a bump of cocaine, those are pleasurable, and I haven't done the cocaine, but the ice cream I can speak for. I'm dumbed up. Good. So I'll tell you how it holds up. But they don't bring a lasting fulfillment, it's not sustainable, right?

So both of them end up creating this self-destructive loop. And purpose really does become that thing that gives you something that is on a neurochemical level, deeply satisfying. Absolutely. And how much of this, like, how did you marry the deeply spiritual, the often abstract,

oftentimes I'll hear spiritual speakers talk and I feel them sort of drifting off into the ether, how did you marry that to experimentation, neuroscience, practicality, like, one, why do you find that interesting, and then two, what are you doing with that? So I studied behavioral science at universities. I've always been fascinated by why people do what they do. And when I was reading these books that are 5,000 years old, my greatest fascination was finding a principle and

finding its relevance in modern science. And I said to myself, the day I can't find that, I'll quit. I won't believe in this anymore. So I'm still doing that. And I'm ready to quit. If someone shows me a piece of science and I can't find a principle in these ancient literatures or actually what I like to call these timeless literatures, then I'll give up my faith because for me it has to track forward. And I'll give you a really basic example. Today we're in the gratitude movement. There's like a million gratitude journals out there. There's a million scientific studies on gratitude. And gratitude has been linked to better mental health, self awareness, better relationships.

I mean, there's so many scientific studies on the neuro level that shows that gratitude is great for your mind, brain and fulfillment. Now, I look back at gratitude is all over the time this wisdom. One of the first things we were trying to do when we were a monk was to pay our respects to the earth for what it gives us. And you do that first thing in the morning.

What is that, if not gratitude? When you wake up in the morning, you thank the earth for the food. You thank the earth for the water. You thank the earth for allowing yourself to walk. You start your day with gratitude. Today, the biggest tip on Forbes and Inc and everything is, start your day with gratitude. Today, the biggest tip on Forbes and Inc. and everything is start your day with gratitude. Where does it come from?

It's right there. These things are old. So I get fascinated. I'm intrigued by the parallels and patterns because it saves you time. It's the same way as which if I say that this business person got invested by this company and that's why they're successful

because they had the right investors, et cetera. That's a pattern. So I know if I'm building a business in that area, I'm going to look for investors like that. It's the same thing. That pattern saves you time. Rather than you trying to figure out, does gratitude work? How shall I be grateful? Creating your own process almost. It's really interesting. Life has taught me to stop believing everything I think. And the way that it's taught me that is by relentlessly punishing me every time I over invest in being right. And I remember when my wife and I first got together, she used to get chest infections all the time. And she told me it's because of the AC. And I was like, that doesn't make sense.

And she was like, no, no, no, my grandmother used to just swear up and down if you're hot and you stand in front of a fan that you're gonna get sick. And I was like, that is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard in my life. That does not make sense. Like getting sick comes from either bacteria or virus. Like it's that simple. And she was like, I'm just saying, it's my grandma always had it,

it seems true to me. And I was just like, oh, that's exhausting. And then one time I went to a doctor and I was like, yeah, and my wife is crazy and thinks that when you're hot, if you stand in front of AC, it'll make you sick. And he goes, oh, yeah, she's right. And I was like, hold on. And he was like, well, she's sort of right.

He's like, this is what's happening. You have a mucus layer membrane in your throat that's, it keeps it moist, keeps germs from being able to break through the barrier. And so they get trapped, they go to your stomach, they're killed by the acid or whatever. And he said, but if you get a crack in that, then the bacteria or virus can actually get into your blood

stream and that's how you get sick. And it's just drying her throat out. And I was like, whoa. And it was one of those moments where I was like, how many wives tales are true? Like, directly. They're not accurate, but they're true, if you don't mean. Yes.

And so that's how I think when you think of a book that's lasted as long as it has, and I know you and I, we've never talked about this, but we share a real fascination for storytelling. Yes. Because it's a way to convey an idea that resonates emotionally and allows people to carry it on and pass it on.

And obviously, this all starts long before we have science and proofing of this, but we see the patterns. We need a way to encapsulate the pattern. We encapsulate it in a story. The story is in and of itself totally fake, but now in a modern context, we're getting lost in that the story is fake even though the take-home message is incredibly powerful. And so as I, I mean, it's the classic story, right, the more you learn, the less you realize

you know. And just as I've gotten older and really started to understand the stuff and read as much as I do, and quite frankly, live and suffer and go through things like my wife having microbiome issues, and at first thinking all of her descriptions make absolutely no sense, and then you stop passing a judgment on it and start saying, what if everything she's saying

is actually true? Like, how would we treat it then, right? And so there is something really fascinating there. Now, I find myself way more emotionally drawn to the science, because when I can picture it, I have a much easier time doing something about it. So when you were talking about the things that you learned from meditation,

I've gotten tremendous value out of meditation, but it's nothing like what you've learned. So for me, it was once I understood that diaphragm breathing made sense because it triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, then because I understood it, it was the understanding becomes a force multiplier. Absolutely.

All right, let's talk about behavioral science, self-awareness, watching your content, which, if you ever looked at how much content you've put out, it's a lot, dude. Like, when you search your name, like to go, because I normally try to watch, like, basically everything, and I was like, I give up, it's just, it's really incredible. And going through that stuff,

it seems really clear to me that you have massive self-awareness. And what would you say, like, is there a process for people to gain more self-awareness, and then what are from a behavioral, you know, consumer behavior level? What are things that trip up the average person? The first answer, I mean, I'm a huge fan of the book, Thinking Fast and Slow. I don't know how, if you've read it. Yeah, it's a great book because for me, it's got a really close pattern connection again

to what I studied. So just understanding system one and system two, if anyone watching hasn't read it, I highly recommend it. Just being able to differentiate between system one and system two as Daniel Kahnman calls it in the Vedic philosophy we call differentiating between the mind and the intelligence. Knowing how the differentiate of the voices in your head

is the first level of self awareness. So break down what system one and system two are. Absolutely. So system one is your initial response to anything that happens. It's a stop that I can't really say. So if you say something I don't like, my system one naturally would be a face that I pull that I don't agree with that. That's that's an understanding of what system one in. It's your initial default reaction in the moment. That can be positive often. For example, if someone pulls out a knife,

you feel scared and you run. That's system one. That's a good thing. It's safe for you. But also system one is someone says something that hurts your ego and you start defending yourself immediately. That's also negative of system one. That we would refer to as mind. It's built up of conditioning. Those responses are conditioned. Those default elements are all there because of habit and continuous practice. The system two is more like the intelligence. What I would say is more like the parent. If you can consider system one to be more like a child,

system two is more like a parent. It looks more at the long term. It looks more at the bigger picture. It processes that default reaction through a set of checking and metrics to decide whether that's true. The child is the one that wants everything right away, impatient, quickly responding, straight away reacting when it doesn't get what he wants. The intelligent parent, a good one, knows what the child wants and needs and what's better for in the long term. Just starting there and being able to reflect and observe the

different voices inside of us is a great place to start yourself awareness because the biggest challenge is that most of us don't know what we're listening to and we don't most of us don't even know that there are more than one voice inside of us. Just getting over that line is a huge win because now at least you're trying to differentiate between what you're hearing and that's going to help you make better decisions in the future. So that was on So One. Does that answer your question? And second one was, what, so that's awareness, what are like typical things that trip people up was, so that's awareness. What are typical things that trip people up, that so in your answer just now,

it's like, okay, if you wanna become more aware, just know that those two things are happening, right? You're gonna have an initial response and then one that's more calculated. Now, be aware of these two or three things that are also coming for you. The biggest challenge is that there's just so much noise. It's like, have you ever had someone in your home,

maybe it's a wife or maybe it's a friend or whatever, just play a really bad song too often. Just playing a song that you really don't like. I actually heard my wife laugh because she knows how guilty she is. Right, okay, there you go, right? There you go. And you just play a song and just think, I'll turn that off. And after a while, it's been on for so long that you become immune to it.

Like, it's just there and it's still on. It's there in the back of your mind and you didn't manage to turn it off. So the noise that I describe in life, whether it's your parents' expectations, whether it's society's expectations, whether it's your partner's expectations, all of those are like noise in the background. And that noise drowns out your ability to understand the mind and the intelligence. That's one of the biggest trip ups. I was looking at, I gave a presentation called Build a Life, Not a Resume. It's also one of my popular videos. But...

Very good video. Thank you, man. Thank you so much. And when I did the research, so you don't see this in the video, because this research didn't make it into the video. But the research that I was doing was around the most common resume lies. The truth is, over 40-50% of us lie on our resumes. Yeah, if you don't, you're missing an opportunity, I'll just say that. Yeah, there you go, right? And I started to dig deeper, and I was looking at a lot of people lie about their dates of employment. So instead of three days, it's now three months, you know, whatever it may be.

Now, I dug deeper and I wanted to meet some of these people and speak to people. And so I spoke to people who lie on their resumes and we know that at least 40 to 50% tell us they do. The only thing is, no one was proud of that. No one was like, yeah, yeah, I know I'm going to get. Really what it came down to is we're really insecure about our own abilities. Really what it came down to is we're really insecure about our own abilities. Really what it came down to is we're not confident about what we have to offer. What it came down to is a lack of self awareness. What it came down to is a lack of understanding. What am I good at? What am I passionate about?

What am I bringing to the table? That's what people were really worried about. They were worried about the job, but when you dug beneath the surface, the real behavioral trait that was coming out was insecurity and being unconfident about one's potential. That tells us a lot, that indicates a lot about human behavior and human nature, that the noise from outside makes us want to fit into a container. And that stops us from differentiating between what is my mind saying and what is my intelligence saying and what happens is that noise becomes your voice.

So that noise becomes what you think is what you're saying. And most people don't realize that until 10, 20, 30 years down the line. How the hell do you like figure out? So your analogy is great. Yeah. Songs on, you don't even realize this anymore, it becomes total white noise, you're oblivious to it. In fact, you'll only notice it if it gets turned off.

Correct. So how do they identify that? Like, do you have a process for that? How do you hear the thing that you no longer hear so that you can shut it off? Yeah, absolutely. One of the biggest ones, and we say this all the time, but it applies mostly to this, is switching your association. Is switching to what? With association to what? The people that you hang out with, right? It's like changing your circle. Because if you're only hearing the same thing from that circle, the only way to turn it

off without you having to do mass amounts of reflection is changing your circle, where you start hearing. We all ultimately find the things we want to hear, right? We know that. All right, so I created like a little piece of content for Alexa where I was like, okay, what are the four questions that you can ask to get? Because you and I use different words, but I think we're saying the same thing. So I call them invisible beliefs.

Beautiful. So everybody has invisible beliefs. They're controlling your life. And the only way to get them to stop controlling your life is actually figure out what they are. And so I gave four questions that two of them, I just straight stole from Albert Einstein. What are they?

And it's the most important decision every person will make in their life is whether they live in a friendlier hostile universe. So just make it a question right. Do you live in a friendlier hostile universe? And so the point, and I'll go through all four, but the point was that if you ask these four questions and they're just the tip of the iceberg was that if you ask these four questions, and they're just the tip of the iceberg,

but if you ask these four questions, you're gonna begin to identify your frame of reference. Basically, just trying to get people to frame themselves as either optimistic or pessimistic, which I think is sort of the big ham-handed, like first thing you need to become aware of. So first, do you live in a hostile or friendly universe? Another Einstein one.

Is everything a miracle or is nothing a miracle? Because you get to choose. So neither one of those is objectively real, but you pick and it's really gonna color how you use it. I love it. And then number three, can you do anything you set your mind to without limitation or are there certain things you can't comprehend?

And then number four, I'm forgetting right now. So I won't waste time. Because you get the... Yeah, I get it right now, so I won't waste time because you get the... Yeah, I get it, I love them. That's brilliant, brilliant questions. So what like, they're woefully incomplete. So what could we add to that, that would really bring this home for people.

So if that gets them optimistic, pessimistic, what other, at a really high level? Yeah, sure. What are other things that people could immediately switch, or in fact, would immediately switch if they change the people that they're hanging around. But let's really get real about what some of those things are. So optimism, pessimism, what else?

So for me, there was two questions that I had to ask myself that really changed what I do. One of my big questions is, what advice would I give to my younger self? It's huge, because I think that's the stuff that we regret. That's the stuff that we wish we were doing. That's the stuff that has been lost in the noise. When you ask someone what advice would you give to your younger

self, the number one answer is, I wish I studied this. I wish I tried this out. I wish I gave this a go. You know, those are the... All things that somebody didn't do. Yeah, it's all things that things people didn't do. It's always like something that either should have cast started or didn't do. Yeah, it's all things that people didn't do. It's always like something that either should have

cast started or didn't continue. And that's really tapping into someone's voice, right? That's really tapping in to what someone really wants to do. And you're going way beyond just like, oh, what do you like? What are you passionate about? So hard to answer that sometimes, especially if you're drowning.

Does that add to your questions or not? No, it's really interesting. Now I need to know what your answer was. So I used to do a lot of spoken word when I grew up. I read the dictionary, I read the Tosaurus, I loved language. That's what I was fascinated by. And for some reason I gave it up, then I found out about Monk Life became a monk. And then almost back 10 years on at 28, I was going, I asked myself that question and

my answer was, I miss words, I miss expressiveness, I miss sharing a message and stories through incredible language and ideas, potential rhymes, but flow, and all of these things. So that was the answer to my question. One of the biggest answers was, I wish I never stopped writing. When did you ask that question? I was actually 28.

So two years ago? Two years ago? Here's the thing, man, I will tell you right now that your content, your content is like the modern version of spoken word. So I don't know if that's on purpose or an accident, but like, watching it, I was like, if he is doing this off the cuff,

I have to hate myself a little. Yeah. And if he's writing it down, he performs it so well that it feels off the cuff. But it's very impressive. Thank you, man. I'm genuinely touched coming from here. No, no, here's a thing.

Like, look, and I love giving compliments when they're real, but more importantly, you compliment the thing you want to reinforce in somebody. So you've got a mission I find it very interesting, which is can we make knowledge? My word, I don't remember what word you use. Wisdom. Wisdom, perfect.

So can we make wisdom spread as far and as fast as entertainment, which is so similar to what I'm trying to change people's beliefs through entertainment. So I recognize the kindred soul right away. And then just watching the content, I'm like, whoa, like I'm not surprised the number of views that you've gotten because it's songs work

because they make you feel in emotion, but they also tap into whatever it is about humans, whatever it is that we convey through rhythm. So, and before the camera's rolling, we were talking about it. So the one thing that makes me very uncomfortable, I do the same called impact quotes. An impact quote is the first time where I allowed myself to perform. Where I'm knowingly, I would not say it like this if you and I were standing next to each other, right?

This is for the camera. I know how it's going to be edited. I know we're going to add music to it, so it is a performance. But it's also some of our best performing content. So it's like what you were saying earlier about, look, I just accept that not everybody geeks out on neuroscience. And so I have to understand who my audience is and give them something in a way that will then resonate and go viral.

And so I think acknowledging that's really interesting. So anyway, I'm responding just to what you were saying about that because your life seems to be an echo of that answer. Alright, so there's a few more things that have to get to you. I'm here. I'm here. I'm loving this. And if you're loving it, that's even yeah, 100%. So there are three questions that you get asked a lot. What are they? Oh, the big one is, how do I fund my passion? Okay, and you can tell me the quote, I need you to answer each one of them. But if you want to run through what each of the questions are, then we'll go back. Sure. Yeah, no, I'll just do them as they are.

Perfect. So how do I find my passion? My simple model, which is the Dharma model. It also, Dharma means eternal duty in the Vedic tradition. It's very similar to what Iki guys being spoken about today, which is a Japanese version of reason for being. Why do we live? Where is meaning coming from? And it talks about an intersect of four areas. What am I good at? What do I love? What is the world need? And how do I get paid for it? To me, those four help you unlock your passion. When you find the intersect across all of those four, you're making your passion your purpose.

You unlock your passion, you'll find your purpose. This is path one, there's two paths. Path one, I find my skill set, and I engage it to help other people and become better at it. So I'm becoming better at what I'm good at, and I'm using it to help other people, because I'm aware of what I'm quite good at.

And I know what knowledge I have, what skills I have, I have some self awareness. The other path that people often miss, is actually I just start serving people. I just start helping people, and I start to notice what I enjoy about that, and what I'm good at helping people with. So that's Gandhi's part.

Gandhi said that you find yourself when you lose yourself in the service of others. So for me, those are the two paths of how do I find my passion and finding the intersect between those four areas of earth. And the second one is jay my relationship's falling apart. I get asked that all the time. So the answer to that is much harder. It's harder to summarize it, but I always start with self-actualisation that the problem is we have a list for the one that we want and we don't have a list for what we need to become.

And I don't mean become to attract, I mean become to just be, to just get to understand yourself. You don't know what you need in your life until you figure out who you are. And so I find too many people rush into relationships without really recognizing and being fully aware of what they need from a relationship. So it all comes back to how aware are you, how much understanding do you have of yourself and what you need and what you want. That's my best advice for relationship in like a minute.

And then the third question I mostly get asked is, Jay, what do you read? Like, what are your favorite books? Because it seems you read a lot, what are your favorite books? Because it seems you read a lot. What are your top three books? They're not groundbreaking in the sense that people may not be like, oh my god, that's the best book I've ever read.

For me, they change my life. So that's where I'm coming at at a point from. I love start with Why, by Simon Sinek. And not because I applied it to businesses, because I applied it to my life. And even today, I'm constantly refining my why. That's all I do every day. My deepest morning routine and practice

is to refine why I do what I do. It's so easy for me to now do it for money. It's so easy for me to now do it for followers. It's so easy for me to now do it for fame. And every day I have to refine that. Because I know having lived as a monk and what I practice, that if those become what I want, then I'll forget who I need to be. So my daily practice and my daily routine is refining my intention, which in modern

language is why. So for me, Simon's book helped me do that. The Bhagavad Gita, which I would love to do for Vedic knowledge, what Ryan's done for stoicism, and the Bugwood Geeta over 5,000 years old, and that book really exemplifies human challenge. Third book, I'd say this one's going to be hard because it's the last one. Let me think. I'm going to try to throw something else in there. So I've done one like self-development, one more spiritual enlightenment. Let me throw a business book in, seeing as I'm sure you have a lot of business viewers. I love the book, Exponential Organizations. I don't know if you read it. It's by Sally Mishmal and the Singularity University.

And that book, for me, is an incredible analysis of the success of all the organizations we see ruling our phone today. The way it breaks down their business models and how they were created, to me, it's fascinating. So if anyone really wants to start up an exponential business today, then that's where they have to go. And that's when Peter Diamandis said that if you want to be a billionaire, redefining it is someone who impacts the lives of a billion people. And that's what that business book is really about is how do you create an exponential

organization that positively impacts a billion people. So those are my three for today. It's pretty good. Yeah. So, I've got one more thing that I want to hear you talk about. Yeah. Two or three E's. Oh. What are they?

Why did they matter? So for me, my three E's are element, environment, and energy. Everyone has an element that they thrive in. If you take someone out of it, they're element, they won't be the same. A modern day example would be Michael Jordan. He was incredible at basketball. You took him out of basketball, put him in the baseball.

No one remembers his career. We took him out on the best athletes of all time. Your environment is the environment around you. You can take a fish out of water and give it a beautiful mansion and a Bentley and all the money in the world, but it will die. And that's what we are like our environment. Everyone needs an environment which they thrive, which we have to craft. Your boss, if you're at work, is never going to ask you, hey, what environment do you succeed in? Right? Like, that never happens. So we have to create an environment where we thrive. And then finally, it's energy. We, some of us love high energy environments, high pressure. Some of us succeed in lower energy environments and low pressure. Figuring out your energy and the frequency on which you

operate best will help you thrive as well. So for me those are the three E's to really create a thriving environment, know your element, know your environment and know your energy. And so at all times if I see anything going wrong I'm going is my element out of alignment, is my environment out of alignment or is my energy out of alignment. And that's a great three question test you can do to yourself when you don't think things are going right. All you have to do is bring that back into alignment.

I love that. Before I ask my last question, working these guys find you online. Absolutely. You can find me in my favorite place for you to find me if you see the most of his Facebook. I'm Jay Shetty. On Instagram, I'm Jay Shetty as well. There's my two best places, YouTube as well, Jay Shetty. Twitter, Jay Shetty.

So it's just, yeah, it's Jay Shetty on any platform that you're on, I'm probably there. Awesome. What's the impact that you want to have on the world? I think you've said it so beautifully so many times and shared my vision, which is wonderful. And it's wonderful to know that we share the same thing. It's making wisdom go viral.

There's an incredible study in 2017 that said, the most successful people in the world, healthy, wealthy, and wise, choose education over entertainment. The impact I want to have from the world is I want to transform and revolutionize the entertainment industry so that it becomes educational without anyone knowing.

So it's still completely entertaining. It's still like watching Netflix. But you're learning about human behavior, the mind, neuroscience and everything without even knowing you are. To me, that's the greatest win that we can have for our society. How many people are going to quit watching Netflix and reading a book every night? I don't know. But if we can make that book come to life on Netflix, that's going to change the world, because that's what people are going to consume. So for so long, media has been used to numb people, to switch people off. If we can use it

to excite, elevate, enlighten people, not Not by just, not by the cheesy way of like, well, let's follow someone through their journey of enlightenment. It's not like that kind of stuff. I mean, like, really entertaining programming, where you can learn by being entertained at the same time. If I can do that by changing the most powerful industry in the world, then I will feel that I've had some, some, whatever impact, because that way I think will reach the world without having to get around to change their habits too much. My thing is how do we meet people where they are and really deliver a message and a powerful expression of love? And to me that's the highest form of compassion. The highest form of empathy, love and compassion is to meet people where

they already are, rather than expecting them to change. And yeah, that's the impact I'd like to have on the world. So fingers crossed, with your help, with the help of everyone who's watching, you know, it's going to be a team effort. I can't do it on my own. I'm not expecting to. But yeah, that's the impact I'd like to have on the world. That's awesome, and thank you so much. Thank you, that's so incredible. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Guys, I'm telling you, when you look at a tribe of people,

everybody has different roles. And there's always somebody whose job it is to go out, to experience the world, to bring back the wisdom in a form that has been digested and made easy for other people to take away. Jay Shetty is that man. Go watch this content. It is somebody who has gone out into the world,

who's been among, who's worked at Accenture, and everywhere in between and come back with a real ability to explain what is going on. And he does it from a position of not trying to seem smarter than you or better than you, but just that. That's his role. Some people are musicians, some people are the doctors, and some people break down the information.

I really think he has unique access to the wisdom, as he calls it, to understand what people are trying to encapsulate in the books, modern or ancient, and his ability to articulate that in a way that feels like modern rap, spoken word, whatever you want to think of it as, it is in and of itself an artistic creation. So you cannot go wrong diving into it. It is not a mistake that he's had over a billion views in less than 12 months, which is insanity. So go check his stuff out, hit him up, ask him questions, keep an eye, because I think he's going to be one of the great

at really digesting that information and really helping wisdom build viral. All right, guys, if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe, and until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care. Thank you guys, I really, really, really appreciate you being here. We have got some incredible guests,

an incredible Friday, solar episodes coming. Please, please, subscribe so you do not miss out. There are some huge announcements coming. Stay tuned, I appreciate you. Thank you so much. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on I Heart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions, like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality.

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