On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 3 Ways to Take an Adult Gap Year and Why it Might Be Helpful for You to Take One

Episode Date: August 9, 2019

A gap year or month is usually when students take time off between school and college or college and work to travel alone or with friends. The same can take place for adults after working for 5-7 ye...ars or more. It’s not about parties or living it up but rather self exploration, learning new things and wanting a fresh start. After working for many years, it is natural for our bodies, minds, just like the ground and soil to need a reset, rest to be able to give, grow and move forward. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:01:43 or wherever you get your podcasts. If you repeat this week, this month, this year, for the next three to five years, are you going to be closer to who you want to be and where you want to be, or are you moving further away? Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose. My name is Jay Shetty, whether this is your first or 51st listen, I'm genuinely so grateful to have you here as part of the community. You're genuinely not a subscriber, a follower, you're a community member because I love it when you share themes, topics and ideas and participate in the conversation
Starting point is 00:02:26 beyond the podcast. And that's really what's inspired this one. I'm always looking at the groups that I've created on Facebook. I'm looking at DMs, I'm looking at comments, and I'm seeking inspiration for the next topic, the next themes, the next ideas that you want me to tackle in these solar episodes. So trust me, I am listening.
Starting point is 00:02:45 I am totally aware. And as you notice, I share a lot of your reshairs and insights from the podcast as well. So keep those coming. But this truly is our 51st podcast since we started around six months ago. And that for me is a huge, huge feeling. It's so, so exciting. And I can't wait to share more insights with you on just how amazingly you have responded to this podcast and how incredible it's doing. Thank you so much for all your support. Now, as you know, this podcast is all about adult gap years. And why it might be time for you to take one. Maybe you're interested in one. And this actually came from a group discussion I was having, both online and offline. And so many of my friends now getting to a place in their
Starting point is 00:03:29 life where they're taking a gap year, or they're taking a sabbatical from work, or they're taking a gap month, or a few gap months. And I started to notice this trend. And then I was looking at online chat rooms and conversations. And I saw a lot of people saying, like, yeah, I think it's time in my life that I need to take a sabbatical, I need to take a gap year, I need to take some gap months. So I thought why not create a podcast
Starting point is 00:03:53 to share some of my insights around gap years, gap months, sabbaticals, how they work in your life, how you can get the most out of them, and what impact and benefits they really have in your life. So one of the things I'd like to start off straight from the bat is that I've taken so many gap years or months in my life.
Starting point is 00:04:13 And I can only say good things about them. And I can only say that they've been powerful in my impressions, powerful in growing my skills and powerful in my impressions, powerful, and growing my skills, and powerful in my learning. And so just for those of you who don't know or have no idea before, a gap you're on month is usually when students take time off between school and college or college and work to travel alone or with their friends.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Now, the same can take place for adults, usually after working five to seven years or more, could be 10 to 15 years. And it's not about parties or living it up, but rather it's about self-exploration. It's about learning new things. It's about learning and exposing yourself to new cultures. It's about wanting a fresh start and perspective. And like I said, it's also referred to as a sabbatical, and that idea actually has its origins in the Hebrew Bible, right? So every seven years, farming and agricultural work was paused to give the land a break, a
Starting point is 00:05:11 rest, or a Sabbath. After working for many years, it's natural for our bodies, minds, just like the ground and soil to need a reset to rest, to be able to give, provide, and grow again. So, so many of us, because of our conditioning from the educational system, because of our conditioning from parenting, we think we literally have to go from one level to the next level, to the next level, to the next level.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Now, if you've ever played a video game, you don't get a rest period, you get a loading period, right? You get a refreshing period, but you don't get a rest or reset period. So we've almost been conditioned to believe that you go from one thing to the next thing, to the next thing, to the next thing, to the next thing, to the next thing,
Starting point is 00:05:53 to the next things, to the next things. And that's just how life works. And the crazy thing is that when that's been your experience of life, you almost see taking rest as a negative thing, right? You almost see taking a break as a bad thing. You almost see taking a month off. Oh my god, you must be so lazy. Taking three months off. What are you even going to do at that time, taking a year off? What are you crazy? Who's going to pay your bills? So
Starting point is 00:06:20 these ideas actually become less and less popular because of how we've been conditioned to look at rest. Now, I know when I was a monk, I used to be about four hours, and we could do that because we were meditating for so much longer. Since I left being a monk, I don't want to sleep for four hours. I sleep for my eight hours, if I can.
Starting point is 00:06:40 That's my focus of trying to get good eight hours of sleep. And because it's so important to me now, for a few years, the corporate world, the business world, the entrepreneurial world, it wore sacrifice and pain as like a badge of honor, like not getting enough sleep was a badge of honor. Overworking was a badge of honor, not going on holidays or vacations was a badge of honor.
Starting point is 00:07:01 It was like, you're only serious, like you're only real if you don't take breaks, right? You're only real if you never, ever go on holiday, right? Like, you're only like the real deal. You're only really working if you're only working. It was literally like that. You're only working, sorry, you're really working if you're only working. That was the that was the emphasis. That's how people saw it. That's how we were perceived.
Starting point is 00:07:28 And that's not true anymore. We realize that just as the land needed a Sabbath or a rest, we need that too. Now, of course our weekends can be that. Our weekday evenings can be that. But sometimes we're looking for shifts in our life. Sometimes we're looking for redirections in our life. Sometimes we're looking for re-rooting in our life. And when you're trying to overcome a big transition, when you're really trying to shift, when you're trying to re-root, that's where gap months, gap years, and sabbaticals
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Starting point is 00:11:11 Right, this isn't just about I'm tired and exhausted. I need a holiday This isn't just about I just need seven days off by the beach This is like I need to reflect on where I'm going I'm feeling like the compass of my life is telling me to slow down and that I need to move in another direction'm going. I'm feeling like the compass of my life is telling me to slow down and that I need to move in another direction. I'm feeling like I know that if I lived this year, every year for the next five years, I would end up much further away
Starting point is 00:11:39 from where I want to be and who I want to be. That's what gap years, gap months, and sabbaticals are so powerful for. If you're having that reflection right now, and this is the best way to do it, close your eyes, no, I mean it, literally close your eyes, apart from if you're driving, if you're driving, please do not close your eyes.
Starting point is 00:11:56 But if you're not driving, or doing anything that requires vision, of course, close your eyes, and if you are driving or doing anything else, then come back to this exercise. But I want, and you know, take a screenshot of this moment in the podcast right now so that you know when it is so that you can come back to it. And I want you to close your eyes. I want you to visualize your daily process of what you do at work, what you do in life, your daily habits. Like, almost walk through your day in a chronological order from the moment you wake up to when you get to work, what you do in life, your daily habits. Like almost walk through your day in a chronological order
Starting point is 00:12:25 from the moment you wake up to when you get to work, to when you get home, to when you go to sleep and everything in between, visualize the process. And really now visualize your Monday, your Tuesday, your Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Do it all. And ask yourself, if you repeat this week, this month, this year for the next three to five years. Are you going to be closer to who you want to be and where you want to be? Or are you
Starting point is 00:13:13 moving further away? Because it's these incremental, small shifts that can totally re-route a ship. that can totally reroute a ship. When a ship is being rerouted, it's not just, oh, we're going left, we're going right now, it's these small incremental steps to get the ship into the right direction. Being a small number of degrees off from where you want to be can take you in a totally different
Starting point is 00:13:45 direction. You can open your eyes. I want you to think about it like that. And that's what gap months, gap years, and sabbaticals are so, so powerful for. And that's why they're so important in so many people's lives. So, you know, most people never take one of these. My third one was just before going to university. And I ended up that year doing a lot of voluntary work, doing a lot of philanthropic work, and traveling as well, and working part-time to pay my bills that I had.
Starting point is 00:14:20 And that was such a powerful year in my life, because it made me so self-aware, I developed skills, so that when I went to university, I was actually coming from a much more mature place, and I knew myself better. It also helped me focus on deciding what I really wanted to study, right? And what I really wanted to dive into,
Starting point is 00:14:38 and what I really wanted to learn, so that I could be more focused as well. Now, the next three were when I became a monk, and that was straight after graduating from my degree, I went straight off, turned on my corporate job offers, and those three years, of course, which you've heard about, and I can't wait to tell you more about, I mean, I haven't told you half of,
Starting point is 00:14:57 I haven't even told you a quarter of the story of that, we'll definitely get into that. And then the one year I took again was to integrate back into the world when I came back from being a monk. Now, all of them was, oh wait, wait, wait, wait, I forgot one. And another one was when I was trying to move on
Starting point is 00:15:12 from my corporate job into doing what I was passionate about, which is what I do now. So in my life, I've taken multiple transition years. And I'm actually going to relabel and rename these years right now. They are not gap years. They are not gap years. They are not gap months. They're not sabbaticals.
Starting point is 00:15:29 They are transition years, transition months, and transitions. They are transitions. And I say that because when you hear the word gap year or gap month, it's like, well, why have I got a gap in my life? No one wants a gap in their life. Like, why do you want a gap in your life? But we have to have transformational transitions in our life. No one wants to gap in their life. Why do you want to gap in your life? But we have to have transformational transitions in our life and that requires awareness. It requires focus. Right. How is something going to evolve or how is a transition going to work in your life
Starting point is 00:15:55 if you're not even aware of that transition in full? So I really want you to think about these as transition years. And gap years feel scary because the majority of people don't do them and gap months seem less trendy than gap years, so even less people do them. And that's not a good reason. Sometimes I want to think you have to really ask yourself, is do I need a gap year or do I need a gap month, right? Do I need a transition year or do I need a transition month or months? It's not just about making this trend of doing a year, but the point is, if you're looking to redirect, if you're looking to reflect, if you've gone through something traumatic,
Starting point is 00:16:33 something challenging, something big, and you need a break, you need a press pause. If you are someone who wants to change careers, if you're someone who wants to focus more on your family, if you've got a big shift you want to make in your life, this is something worth considering, right? Especially career changes, life changes, family changes, changing country. Those are important things. Now, I want to talk a bit about how Gapia's work for students because a lot of the reasoning why they do it and how they do it can be similar
Starting point is 00:17:04 as well for adults, right? It doesn't change that much because we didn't do it when we were younger, it's likely that we're going to do it when we're older. So 230,000 people between the ages of 18 to 25 take some form of gap year break or transition year, right? And this also applies to adults too, right? It's like there are reasons for breaks like the ones I've given. And this also applies to adults too, right? It's like there are reasons for breaks like the ones I've given. And 60% of the 230,000 said it helped them choose what subject they wanted to study at university. Now, how is this applied to adults? Well, if you're confused about what you want to do with your life and you take a month or three months of unpaid leave or paid leave from your career to figure it out,
Starting point is 00:17:46 60% of the 230,000 people that did that felt more certain about what they wanted to do next. A lot of us feel rushed into do something. A lot of us feel like we just ended up doing something or settled for it. A lot of us just jumped from job to job to job because we're going for benefits or paycheck, but don't feel it's meaningful or passionate
Starting point is 00:18:04 or purposeful work. Now, 80% of people believe their gap here added to their employability. It increased their network. It increased their understanding of different cultures. Maybe they learned a new language. They came back more enthusiastic and driven for work because they missed it.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Imagine feeling the feeling of missing work positively, not feeling like you missed out and you have to catch up on work, but you missed work. Gap months, gap years and transitions have such a powerful place in reinvigorating our enthusiasm around work. And it's normal, right? This is what we also forget. It's normal to lose, work. And it's normal, right? This is what we also forget. It's normal to lose, desest the passion for a career or something. If we've been doing it for quite a long time, or if we got into it in the first place, for a reason that we can't change now, maybe it was something your parents wanted you to do, maybe it was something that was reliable. Now sometimes a gap week can be enough to reset and reboot, but we have to treat it differently
Starting point is 00:19:02 from a holiday. So here are some of the scientific reasons and the research behind them. So people who take transitions or gap years or sabbaticals, they actually promote well-being, it reduces their stress, and it gives a whole new set of opportunities to develop new knowledge and skills. And this is exactly what people are using it for, right? It's not just about, oh, can I go and sit on a beach like that? You can do it in a vacation. But it's okay, what can I learn?
Starting point is 00:19:28 What can I grow in? What am I going to do as my next step? The second thing that researchers found is that people who came back to their roles after transition years, transition months, or a transition month, actually were more confidence in their role because they felt they could think outside the box.
Starting point is 00:19:46 They felt that their new experiences from different industries, different ideas could inspire them. The people and the stories they'd heard had changed the way they thought about the same work. So you need to be able to bring fresh eyes to our workplace. And we never bring fresh eyes. If the same eyes have been looking at the same thing for the last X number of years. So that fresh experience of meeting new people
Starting point is 00:20:08 or having new experiences is such a great way to get started in such a powerful way to make a difference. So I highly, highly, highly recommend that is one of the reasons as well. And this was incredible. And this work supplied to specifically corporate careers. But people who left obviously leaders had to take their place. And usually we
Starting point is 00:20:31 think those leaders would take their place. But actually what it did is it helped companies build legacy better. Leaders stepped up more, became more effective and responsible. And then when they came back, the leaders got their jobs back and they were able to collaborate better. They had someone who understood their pains, their challenges better. And a lot of companies now, some of the biggest corporates in the world are starting to do paid sabbaticals. They actually know that they're going to lose people if the work's not meaningful. And so actually being able to give people a month off or three months off is actually going to keep people in the long term. And this is a long term thing for you too. There's only so long you can keep pushing yourself. There's only so
Starting point is 00:21:10 long you can keep burning yourself out. Right. There's only so long that you can keep putting yourself through those challenges before you run out of steam. And you don't want to kill yourself for a company that would, you know, that would leave you tomorrow if you drop dead. Like the company's not going to care. And so it's so important that we care for ourselves. And mental health leave is becoming more common. You know, being able to have that leave, which is paid and unpaid is becoming more common. So this isn't just about you taking a risk, right? This is not a tool that I'm recommending.
Starting point is 00:21:45 I'm not at all recommending a risky strategy of just leaving everything and leaving it all behind. I'm talking about practical methods of us realizing if this is right for us. Now this was a story that I found in a Forbes article that I wanted to share with you. So it's a story about a man named Michael T.S.O. And he was working in a windowless cubicle at UPS, right? And of course, he was thinking about how he wanted to leave and move on and inspired by all the travel people in his world and the travel blogs that he'd been looking at.
Starting point is 00:22:16 He decided to save up enough money so that he could travel for a year. Now he brought his lunch to work. That was one of the first steps that he did. He started selling a lot of stuff on Craig's list. He downgraded his apartment, which takes a big decision from $1,400 to a $200 bedroom in New Jersey, which you may say, well, that's crazy. I'm not ready to do that, but listen to this.
Starting point is 00:22:39 And in a year's time, and on a 50,000 salary, he had saved $15,000. And then he headed out to China, to Southeast Asia, to South America, where he could live on a budget. He could live on less. And people there are living on $18 to $25 a day, right? And then after that, he was using some of the things
Starting point is 00:23:01 that he'd saved up. And he said he knew that working in a corporate office wasn't for him and He took on a part-time teaching gig in the other country as well But he knows but through traveling he said I discovered so many other things I could do to earn a living Right now that's not a magical approach. You can see there's a lot of strategy there There's a lot of planning there But what I'm giving you is ideas and thoughts about how your life could become more meaningful by you investing
Starting point is 00:23:29 time in meaning. If you never make time for meaning, how can your time become more meaningful? Right. If we never make more time for meaning, how can our time become more meaningful? And so these are just some examples of how you can do it. So I want to talk to you through four steps. These are the four steps of how you want to go about it. The first thing you want to ask yourself is, why do you need a transition month or years and how much time do you need?
Starting point is 00:24:00 Like why do you need a gap year or a sabbatical and how much time do you need? And the best way to do that is to start with your weekends and your week nights, spending your weekends and week nights on the things you love, things you're passionate about, are going to help you understand how much time you really need off. Do you need a month? Do you need a three months? Or do you need a year?
Starting point is 00:24:19 And I would recommend that you start thinking about it as a month off, A, because it's the most practical, it's the most financially viable, and it could actually solve most of your challenges, right? And you could go back to the same job, and one month, three months, and a year, all kind, you could move straight back into the same career that you had.
Starting point is 00:24:36 And so I would really look to that. How much time do you need, and why do you want that time? What is your deep why? If you know why you need something, you will find a way towards it. Find your why. In my case, before I went to university, it was I really wanted to do charity and philanthropic work. When it was becoming a monk, I knew that I wanted to develop those skills that I learned as a monk, that I wouldn't get anywhere else.
Starting point is 00:24:59 When it was transitioning to live my passion, I knew that if I didn't break then I would have got too comfortable in my corporate career and had to make a change. And actually they say that the ideal age for taking a gap here is between 37 to 40, age 37 to 40, right? We're not saying it's our 20s. Usually a lot of us get stuck into something in our 20s and we start working,
Starting point is 00:25:20 but actually 37 to 40 is a recommended time for a lot of people to take adult gap years. Right? So that's what you want to think about first. The second thing you want to do is you want to see how this is going to help you overcome your inner fears and your insecurities. You want to overcome your excuses like, oh, a down economy is a bad time. Researchers say that down economy could be a good time because companies are trying to
Starting point is 00:25:43 hold onto their talent, but they may want to be able to give you someone leeway at that time with time off. And this is what I'm talking about, that it has to be done practically. So you want to give yourself an opportunity to research and overcome those excuses. The third thing is, when you start making a plan, you want to start saving up $10, $100, $1,000 per month, right? You want to start saving up $10, $100, $1,000 per month. You want to start putting that aside. Now, the crazy thing is, let's say you did this
Starting point is 00:26:09 and in three months time, or six months time, or a year's time, which is usually the amount of time it takes to prep today to get here. So I want to point that out. Now, overcoming your inner fears and your insecurities takes about three months to a year. So it's not like, oh, I decide today, I need a gap here and you take one straight away.
Starting point is 00:26:24 It's like, okay, I need a gap here. Let me start planning for the next three to 12 months to a year. So it's not like, oh, I decided today I need a gap here and you take one straight away. It's like, okay, I need a gap here. Let me start planning for the next three to 12 months to do this. Now, let's say in three to 12 months, you decide not to take a gap here. Guess what? You just saved $12,000. Right? You just saved $12,000. You just saved a significant amount of money that's going to be useful anyway. So if anything, it teaches you good habits. But if you know you're planning for something, it also gives you a mind up ease. See when the mind knows it has another option, it calms down. Your mind gets more stressed when it feels it has no options.
Starting point is 00:26:55 And that's why careers that we're not passionate about kill us because we think we have no other options. We don't realize what's out there in the world. We don't realize the opportunity that exists in the world. We don't realize the opportunity that exists in the world. We only spend time with people that are like us, that work in the same companies that look like us, that think like us. And when you're around people that look like you, think like you, and behave like you, you forget that there are people that are different to that.
Starting point is 00:27:17 And so it's so important that when we travel, when we move, when we work in different environments, we learn so much. We learn so much. And the fourth and final step is you building through that strategy that three to nine to twelve-month plan, you start building faith and confidence. You start recognizing why it's so important. And you keep asking yourself that question, if I stay here in the same place for any longer, is this going to be the right place where I want to be? Is that who I want to be? And you start building faith that you need to take this step. And we forget that. We stay in the same place because we think change is going to be hard. We forget that staying in the same place can sometimes be the hardest thing in the world.
Starting point is 00:28:02 So like I'm saying, I'm not expecting you to go broke, I'm not telling you to take loans. All I'm saying is really reflecting on, do I need one month, do I need three months, do I need 12 months, where are you out on that spectrum? And then creating a three month, six month, nine month, 12 month plan to get to that stage is the place to start, that's where you get going.
Starting point is 00:28:25 And this is why we need to take more gap years and months in our life. It's like a forced reset, right? It's a way of giving ourselves more time and energy towards something we love or finding what we love or an opportunity to discover something new. And so often we waste our weekends and evenings but a gap day to start off with a gap we can
Starting point is 00:28:46 that can also be a great idea. And we shouldn't underestimate the power of giving ourselves space. Right, we never see space in people's diaries, which means you have no space to think, no space to read, just no space to change direction. And imagine if the roads that we drove on had no spaces. When you don't have any space, then you just stay on the same track. Only to realize down the road
Starting point is 00:29:10 that you're not going in the direction you want to go. What's the point of climbing up a ladder if it's against the wrong wall? What's the point of driving down a nice road if it's not the road you want to be on? Well, what's the point of getting to a destination only to wonder why you ended up going in that direction? And it's so weird that we do that. So strange that we do that. So I really want you to think about this deeply. This is not a rash decision. This is not a, please test this out this week. Kind of podcast. It's something to really think about. Something to really reflect on. Do you need a gap month? Do you need a gap year? Do you need a transition in your life? Do you need a moment in your life to reflect? Can you
Starting point is 00:29:50 start doing it on weekends and a week nights as a starting point and start building it out? Can you save up to just take one month off? Can you speak to your employer about finding out about how they work with sabbatical packages because a lot of employers do today? about finding out about how they work with sabbatical packages because a lot of employers do today. Remember, this is your life. It's up to you to get the right care, the right support, and to move in the right direction. So today's podcast was all about adult gap years, adult transitions, and stepping towards that and why they're so powerful for your self-discovery exploration, learning a new habit or skill,
Starting point is 00:30:27 traveling to a place you've never been before working in a new country, all experiences that only make you a more valuable asset to your family, to your friends, to your company. Right, the more you grow, you only become more valuable. You have to have faith that personal growth is the most valuable thing to your professional growth. Thank you so much for listening to today's podcast. I hope that you enjoyed today's discussion. It was definitely an open-ended, thought-reflective, thought-provoking podcast.
Starting point is 00:30:58 Very different from some of the other ones because I really wanted to talk about this topic with you. I know it's a hard decision. I realize it's super challenging, but I wanted to give you some insights and thoughts that could get you started on the journey. Thank you so much for listening. Make sure you share this with students, make sure you share this with your colleagues, make sure you share this in your workplace.
Starting point is 00:31:15 I want people to really take care of their mental health. I want you to really take care and be aware of burnout, and I really want you to be proactive about your self-care and your personal growth and your personal health. Thank you so much for listening. I'll see you again next week. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for listening through to the end of that episode. I hope you're going to share this all across social media. Let people know that you're subscribed to on purpose.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Let me know, post it, tell me what a difference it's making in your life. I would love to see your thoughts. I can't wait for this incredibly conscious community we're creating of purposeful people. You're now a part of the tribe, a part of the squad. Thank you for being here. I can't wait to share the next episode with you. Getting better with money is a great goal for 2023.
Starting point is 00:32:26 But how are you going to make it happen? Ordering a book that lingers on your nightstand isn't going to do the trick. Instead, check out our podcast How to Money. That's right, we're two best buds offering all the helpful personal finance information you need without putting you to sleep. We offer guidance three times a week and we talk about debt payoff, saving more, intelligent investing, and increasing your earnings. Millions of listeners have trusted us to help them make progress with their financial goals. You can listen to how to money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Regardless of the progress you've made in life, I believe we could all benefit from wisdom on handling common problems. Making life seem more manageable, now more than ever. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the One You Feed Podcast, where I interview thought provoking guests who offer practical wisdom that you can use to create the life you want. 25 years ago, I was homeless and addicted to heroin. I've made my way through addiction recovery, learned to navigate my clinical depression, and figure out how to build a fulfilling life. The one you feed has over 30 million downloads and was named one of the best podcasts by Apple podcasts. Oprah Magazine named this is one of 22 podcasts to help you live your best life.
Starting point is 00:33:35 You always have the chance to begin again and feed the best of yourself. The trap is the person often thinks they'll act once they feel better. It's actually the other way around. I have had over 500 conversations with world-renowned experts and yet I'm still striving to be better. Join me on this journey. Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. The world of chocolate has been turned upside down. A very unusual situation.
Starting point is 00:34:04 You saw the stacks of cash in our office. Chocolate comes from the cacountry, and recently, Variety's cacao, thought to have been lost centuries ago, were rediscovered in the Amazon. There is no chocolate on Earth like this. Now some chocolate makers are racing deep into the jungle. To find the next game-changing chocolate, and I'm coming along. Okay, that was a very large crack it up.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Listen to the obsessions wild chocolate on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

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