On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 4 Seasons of Life We All Live Through & 4 Practices to Optimize Your Energy and Thrive Year Round

Episode Date: February 5, 2021

You know and love this podcast. Jay’s exclusive Genius workshops and meditations take your well-being to the next level. Try them today at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGenius Look out your window. Is it snowing? Is it sunny? Now take a deep breath and take a look at what it feels like; not outside your window, but inside yourself. Are you energized and excited about a project? Or reflecting on the last few months of your life? On this episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, Jay describes the difference between the seasons of the year and the seasons of your life. Through this parallel, he provides simple practices to be more attuned to each season you are experiencing in order to grow with the times instead of against them.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Take good care. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on I Heart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your

reality. Listen to Intercosmos with David Eugumon on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. How many of you ever feel exhausted, fatigued, or wiped out? Do you feel like every time you try to get motivated to tackle your to-do list or to make a change, you just can't get yourself going. Or are you working hard striving to hold your goals, but things just don't seem to be coming together and you're not sure why. According to Statistica, only one out of every seven Americans say they

start the day feeling refreshed. That means most of us are still tired when we wake up in the morning. I know what you're probably thinking. That's because we need more sleep. But listen to this, nearly half of those who say they sleep seven or eight hours a night say they're still tired at least several mornings a week. And we know this is definitely not just a challenge for Americans. Sleep is important, it's essential

to good health and high performance. We know this, but sleep on its own can't restore us if there are too many other things draining us. It's like pouring water into a bucket with a hole in the bottom, it's never going to fill up. Today I'm going to share with you the surprising thing that's draining you, along with five ways to get your energy back and experience more synchronicity and flow in your life. There's one big drain that most of us are not aware of, and here it is. Being out of sync with your season. Whether from a popular music lyric, the Bible,

or another source, you've probably heard the idea that for everything, there is a season. In our lives, we experience seasonal changes in external nature, what's happening around us. And we also experience seasonal changes in our internal nature. What's going inside of us and is cycling through our lives. Just like nature, we cycle through seasons throughout our lives. The problem is, it's easy to

look at the calendar or look out the window and know the external season, but most of us don't know how to recognize what season we're in internally, and so it's hard to read the benefits of that season, and as a result, we feel out of balance. Now, this whole idea of being balanced with nature and of having our own internal season can feel a bit esoteric. I know, I get it. But this idea that we go through seasons in our lives

is grounded in science, all the way back to ancient times. If you look at Ayurveda, along with traditional Chinese medicine, to name just two, there's a lot of talk about balancing elements and seasons within and outside ourselves. Like in Ayurveda,

if you're living somewhere where it's cold in winter, you want to support your body by eating more warming and cooked foods than raw foods. That's a practice that supports you for the season you're in. But modern research is also starting to reveal how we benefit from being in sync with nature. Andrew Huberman is a neurobiologist at Stanford University and one of the things he studies is how we can use science to optimize our body's cycles. Now get this. Huberman says that our eyes are a massive source of communication to the brain. And of course our brain is a primary regulator of our body's functions. Huberman

says that there is one simple, powerful way to do all of the following things. One, regulate your sleep, wake rhythms, two, optimize your metabolic function, and three optimized countless other body functions, including dopamine production and wounding healing. The list goes on. What's the single simple, powerful thing we can do? Watch the sunrise and the sunset. It's really that simple. Now I've heard that watching the sunrise and sunset is really good for the mood, but this puts a whole new understanding on just how and why this simple act is so impactful.

Hoobimman says that when the sun is low in the sky, the angle of light communicates to our retinal neurons, the neurons in our eyes, and that synchronizes a whole system of clocks in our bodies to help regulate loads of functions, including our organ function and how our bodies time our sleep and wakefulness cycles. And this is one of the reasons we can get so out of sync when we stay up really late. We force our bodies out of sync with the natural rhythms. And our body struggle to find the balance needed to get restorative sleep, for example. So even hard science says it, we are meant to be in tune with nature.

But now let's talk about your personal season and how to identify and get in sync with the season of your life right now. It may be winter outside, but your internal season might be summer or fall. The season you're in doesn't have to correspond to the weather outside. It's a cycle you're going through, and it may be a time of expansion or of pulling in or protection of growth or reflection. Let's look at each season and with it, I'm going to give you a science-based practice to support your ability

to experience the full benefits of what that season has to offer. Let's start with summer. Summer is that go-go time. It's casual and fun. When we think of summer, we think of playing and having to top down on the convertible, the days are longer so we can do more. Summer is a time of achievement.

If you're in summer, it might be a time when you're preparing to launch a new venture or a new product you're creating or putting something out into the world. I think most of us have this expectation that life should be perpetual summer. Year after year, we plan to always be creating, always crushing it. One thing I've observed is that in the West we're so focused on the external, on making and producing things in goals outside of ourselves. We're constantly putting expectations on ourselves to do more and better and to prove ourselves in our worth, to always show tangible results. In the East, there's more of a tradition of focusing on the internal,

on setting our intentions, on seeking meaningful input, and on contemplating our desires and the processes through which we might advance or attain them. It's more reflective. Both perspectives and approaches are important. It's like the concept of Yin and Yang. If you're familiar with that, they represent balanced energies and both are necessary, the doing and the resting, both are central to our well-being, summer is great, but we can't live there all the time and be balanced and healthy. If we're meant to be in spring or winter, but we're pushing like it's summer, we start to burn out, we feel exhausted, things can feel like no matter how hard we try, they're

just not coming together. I get it. I love to be productive and put things out there into the world. When I was living as a monk, all I wanted to do was give as much as I could every day. I pushed it to the edge with what I could offer others. The problem was that I thought that was service, but it wasn't self-sustaining. And I never shifted cycles into receiving and replenishing. The result was that I became totally out of balance and even had to be hospitalized because I'd drain myself so badly. When I had David Goggins, who's a former Navy SEAL as a guest on the show,

he said that one of the tactics he would use to get through some of the excruciating SEAL training was that he would focus on others on his teammates and how they were doing. And that was a really effective strategy because it would take him outside himself and keep him focusing on his own discomfort. And yet he learned the hard way, as I did, that focusing entirely on others is not a sustainable strategy over the long term. And David became very ill as well. He had to move through some other seasons for a while to recover.

So the basic point of what I'm trying to share with you right now is that just as we have spring, summer, autumn, winter externally, you go through the same seasons internally. Now, the crazy thing is that if it was winter, you would always wear a coat, you'd wear a scarf, you'd wear a hat, you'd take an umbrella out with you to prepare for what winter will bring. But in our internal lives, we keep hoping it's going to be summer, we keep forcing it to be summer. And so we never take that coat, we never take that scarf, and that's why sometimes we can feel lost, disconnected

or feel like we're suffering in our lives. Being in summer is great, but again, lots of us focus on it almost exclusively, but when you learn how to cycle through all of the seasons, when it really is summer for you, you really will be able to crush it. If you're in summer right now and you're in that go mode, here's a science-based practice to support you and help you maximize that summer cycle and summer energy. Steven Kotler is a peak performance expert and the author of several best-selling books. One of the areas Steven has studied deeply is flow, including how we get into those flow states where you're so immersed that you lose sense of time and things are just moving almost like they have their own

momentum. When we're in summer, flow states can be super helpful because you're able to get into that deep focus mode and really create. Kotler says that flow begets flow, meaning that the more often you experience flow states in one area, the more often you can experience them in other areas. So the practice to train yourself to experience more flow is to find one area where you experience flow easily. For lots of us, this might be a physical practice, like running or skiing or dancing,

or maybe it's another space, like playing with your kids or playing a musical instrument. It doesn't at all have to be related to your work, and Kotler says it's unlikely that it will be. Most of us have some area from childhood, for example, where we could easily get into flow. So find an area where you get into flow easily and make it a priority to experience that flow often.

For at least 30 minutes a week, the more is better, do that activity. Kotler acknowledges that it's going to seem counterproductive, that if you want to be more productive at work, to go dance more often, but it works. Again, the research shows that flow begets flow. So look for that space you feel flow and make sure you're doing at least 30 minutes a week, though again, more is better. That will help you maximize your summer flow. I'm Yvonne Gloria.

I'm Maite Gomez-Rachón. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast, Hungry for History! On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages, from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home.

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Team flower, team core. Join us as we explore surprising and lesser known corners of Latinx culinary history and traditions. I mean, these are these legends, right? Apparently, this guy Juan Mendes. He was making these tacos wrapped in these huge tortillas to keep it warm, and he was transporting them in a burro, hence the name the burritos. Listen to Hungary for history with Ivalangoria and Maite Gomez Rejón, as part of the Michael Tura podcast network available on the iHeart iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I am Miahmla and on my podcast, the R-Spot, we're having inspirational educational and sometimes difficult and challenging conversations about relationships. They may not have the capacity to give you what you need. And insisting means

that you are abusing yourself now. You human! That means that you're crazy as hell, just like the rest of us. When a relationship breaks down, I take copious notes and I want to share them with you. Anybody with two eyes and a brain knows that too much Alfredo sauce is just no good for you. But if you're going to eat it, they're not going to stop you. So he's going to continue to give you the Alfredo sauce and put it even on your grits if you don't stop him. Listen to the art spot on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. This is what it sounds like inside the box-paw.

I'm journalist and I'm Morton in my podcast, City of the Rails. I plung into the dark world of America's railroads, searching for my daughter Ruby, who ran off to hop train. I'm just like stuck on this train, not where I'm gonna end up. And I jump. railroads searching for my daughter Ruby who ran off to hop train. Just like stuff on the train, not where I'm going to end up. And I jump. Following my daughter, I found a secret city of unforgettable characters living outside society off the grid and on the edge. I was in love with the lifestyle and the freedom this community.

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Listen to the city of the rails on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Or, cityoftherails.com. Now I want to take a moment to clarify that when you experience seasons in your life, they don't have to go in order as they do in nature. Winter can follow summer, for example, and also just because you're in winter, that doesn't mean you don't have some bits of summer here and there. Like in nature, you might have a few warm days during an otherwise cold season. It's not all or nothing. Generally, production doesn't come to a grinding halt outside of summer.

We just prioritize and manage differently. I know our videographers often call to go to these video shoots in really gnarly weather, whether it's pouring rain or sub-zero temperatures. Someone once asked him how he managed to function so well being outside in such bad weather, to which he laughed and said, there's no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing. This is another important reason we want to recognize what season we're in or that we're entering so we can prepare appropriately. I remember when I first moved to New York from London and everyone told me, Jay, get ready for the winters in New York. They're freezing. There's so much colder than London. They actually worried me a bit.

And I accepted, that was the case. So I went and bought like a ton of really warm weather gear, heavy coat, big insulated gloves, huge snow boots. So I was prepared. I ended up looking a bit like Big Bird from Sesame Street for a while because of the color of my coat, but I was warm, right? So when we refused to accept that it's winter, we might end up walking through Central Park in January in shorts. When we're in sync with our season, we can be prepared for what might arise.

So let's move on to fall. Fall can also be a productive time. Lots of us think of fall as harvest time. We're harvesting the fruits of our labors and gathering things up and storing them for the future. For me, last year was full. I was working hard to bring you loads and loads of content and advice to try and help and support you and to serve you during what I know has been such a difficult time for so many. For a while, I actually thought I was in a season of summer last year, a season of Go Go Go. It wasn't until, into the year, that I realized I was actually in a fall season. And I realized that because it became apparent to me when I took a close look at some things

in my life, that it was time to release some things. Think about what happens in fall, at least in areas that experience four distinct seasons. Animals work like crazy to put away food for the winter, and the trees lose their leaves. Not only is fall a time to work in harvest, it's also a time when we're called to let things go. Even in pop culture, we see the idea of seasons of life. Now, I'll try not to spoil it for those who haven't seen it, but the movie Avengers Endgame begins with the superheroes having just gone through the season of fall. They've had to release and say goodbye to a lot.

As the movie opens, Captain America and the others are in a deep winter, trying to heal and reflecting on what's happened. Then there's a shift, suddenly a character we haven't seen returns and brings with him a new idea about how the team might move forward. They move into spring and intense learning season where learning and experiment are the two top things. And then it's go time, summer, when they finally put their plan into action. In fall, we have to release what it's time to release so that we can complete the cycle

and make room for the new. But what happens when we resist? Whether it's ignoring repairs that need to be made on a house or in a relationship, maybe it's recognizing that a friendship has run its course, but still hanging on. We've all resisted releasing things whose cycle or time has ended. And that's exhausting because we're working harder trying to make that job or that relationship work for us when it's just time for things to change. Imagine if trees try to hold onto their leaves as the leaves are trying to be shed, right? It's

just not possible. Or again, it can create that feeling like no matter what you do, things just aren't coming together. It could be that you're ignoring a change that needs to be made. You could be trying to hold on to those dying leaves. It can be hard to see the reality of what it's time to let go of because it requires that we take the time to reflect and look at our lives and relationships with honest eyes. We have to ask ourselves what it's time to let go of and to give ourselves a chance to hear the true answer And that can be more challenging than it sounds So I'm going to give you an exercise that will seem simple

But can be challenging when you actually do it and I'm going to ask you to write down what you come up with Research shows that writing things down actually results in deeper reflection and meaning making. In a study, people who journaled for 10 to 15 minutes daily, reflecting on a problem or a challenge, reported feeling more positive about their ability to resolve it. Now, you can do a single long session of reflection, like taking an hour to do this, or you can do multiple short sessions, like taking a week and doing this for 10 to 15 minutes each morning. Take a screenshot right now of where we are because you're going to want to come back to this later on so you remember what minutes and seconds we're at.

We're nearly just over halfway through the podcast. I like the hour because you can really drop in deeper to your reflection, but I realize you might not have that luxury of time. Either way, I want you to try a practice that I wrote about in my book, Think Like a Monk, which is to gently repeat a question over and over to find the deepest answers for yourself. In the book, I wrote about an experience when I was a monk of diving to my deepest fears by again and again asking myself, what am I afraid of? book, I wrote about an experience when I was a monk of diving to my deepest fears by

again and again asking myself, what am I afraid of? For this exercise, I want you to ask yourself, what can I release? It may take you a few minutes to quiet your mind and your thoughts and that's fine. Just close your eyes, take some deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Ask yourself again. What can I release? And write down whatever comes up. It might be a feeling, a person, an idea, whatever it is, jot down what comes up, then take a deep breath.

Close your eyes and ask yourself again. What can I release? Again, this is designed to help you sink down to your deepest knowing of what you are ready to release. You want the deepest answer you can find. Maybe it's a toxic pattern in relationship, maybe it's a goal with your business that isn't the right fit for you. Maybe it's the idea that if you don't take one million dollars or a hundred thousand dollars or some other amount this year that you're not succeeding, maybe it's a limiting belief, like you aren't smart or resourceful enough to meet a goal or to make a vision for yourself come true or to find true love.

Maybe it's a reliance on eating sugar to improve your mood or some other practice that's not healthy for your body that you're ready to let go. Now, the process for letting go of those practices or patterns can look very different for each, depending on what it is. But that's the first part to get a clear idea of what it's time to let go of or shift. And even identifying those things can actually start to help them shift. Just seeing and getting clear on those issues and patterns and behaviors that it's time to let go of is at least half the work. Once you identify something it's time to let go, you know where you're headed.

I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved by the Tinder Swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how

to identify the narcissist in your life. Each week, you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Conquer your New Year's resolution

to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast in each bite-sized daily episode. guests. With your day, just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to Before Breakfast on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season. And yet, we're constantly discovering new secrets. The depths of them, the variety of them, continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share 10 incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. When I realized this is not just happening to me, this is who and what I am. I needed her to help me.

Something was gnawing at me that I couldn't put my finger on, that I just felt somehow that there was a piece missing. Why not restart? Look at all the things that were going wrong. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to season eight of Family Secrets. Listen to season 8 of Family Secrets on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, now we're on to Winter. Winter is a time of reflection and depth and of quiet.

I like to think of it as a time of sparse beauty, where because so much color and what normally catches our attention has gone away and we can see some of the deeper things that are there inside ourselves. When things drop away like those leaves dropping in the fall, we're left with a clearer view of where and who we are. If we choose to pay attention, that's one of the gifts of winter. Winter is also a time of deep recovery and restoration. Winter doesn't feel good sometimes, it can feel cold, it can feel harsh, it can feel difficult, and maybe you feel like you're going through a winter season in your life. Maybe it feels like your relationship is cold, your challenges are harsh, and you're going from difficulty to difficulty. The biggest

mistake we can make in winter is to ignore it. We don't prepare for it, we don't accept it, we keep thinking something's wrong and want to make it better, not realizing that actually just by simply leaning into winter, we will actually be able to go through it. Just like when you're experiencing a season in real life, if you ignore that it exists, it may hurt you more than if you accept and embrace it. Winter, to me, is a time where moving forward doesn't look like creating and producing. It's where we move forward by going deeper, by reflecting on who we are,

and where we are in our lives. To notice the things we normally don't notice. It's a time of slowing down, a time of protecting and preserving. The fact that so many of us were sort of forced into a winter last year because of the pandemic may have been purposeful on some level, a sort of correcting of the balance because so many of us have been driving hard for so long. I had so many people tell me last year,

Jay, now that I have all this time, now that my schedule is quiet and down, I'm feeling all these things have never felt and seeing things I never saw. That might have been challenging for a lot of us who had really gotten out of touch with ourselves. And that's what happens when we try to be in perpetual summer, we're focused on the externals.

Winter brings us back to the internal focus. Here's a supportive practice for you if you find that you're in winter right now. Stephen Kotler, who is the peak performance expert I mentioned before, says that one of the secrets of high achievers that they understand is that recovering is just as important as doing.

Resting is just as important to progress as anything else we do. Neuroscientist Andrew Hooberman says that it isn't until we downshift that we actually start learning. Specifically, all of the neurochemicals that were activated in our brains when we were in summer, pushing ourselves to produce new things and driving forward, those neurochemicals

that were released marked our brains for learning. They marked areas for growth and change in our brains. But get this, our brains don't actually change until we downshift and until we've rest. Here's what I find fascinating when I'm thinking about this and sharing this with you, is that we think progress only looks like doing, but progress can be resting. We think progress only looks like stuff happening for us externally, but progress can be preparing and learning. Progress looks like a lot of different things in different seasons, right?

Progress in spring can look difference to progress in fall. And the biggest mistake we can make is to think progress only appears to us in one way and we keep forcing that type of progress. I hope this is deeply resonating with you that are you looking for progress in the wrong way? Are you wanting it to be a season that it isn't currently in your life? It's the same when you go to the gym and you do a big strength training workout. Like maybe you're working a chest and your triceps really hard or whatever it may be,

and you may have been working hard and burning it out of the gym. But the actual muscle growth doesn't happen until you rest. That's what the season of winter does for us on a larger scale when we actually go with its flow. It hits our reset button. Here's a specific practice to calm your body into that rest state for deep recovery. It's a combination of meditation and breath work. And breath work is a great way to bring your nervous system down, to calm it down, because that big slow movement of your diaphragm directly communicates to your brain that it's time to slow down. You can use your body in that way to direct your brain and your nervous system. You want to get into a comfortable position. I like a seated position with your legs comfortably crossed or you can

do this lying back in a bed. I like seated upright because your chest and your belly have an easier time to expand and you're less likely to fall asleep. But if you fall asleep, that's okay too. There might just be your brain in body telling you it easier time to expand and you're less likely to fall asleep. But if you fall asleep, that's okay too. There might just be your brain in body telling you it's time to sleep and that's what you need right now. Again, take a screenshot or mark this so you can come back to this when it's time for the practice. Take a screenshot right now.

To start, you're just going to close your eyes and breathe gently in through your nose and out your mouth for a few breaths and just notice your breathing. When you inhale, you feel your stomach expand as opposed to your chest. Breathe into your belly. When you exhale, feel your belly gently contract. Continue this at your own pace for a few more breaths. Now when you inhale, feel you're taking in positive uplifting energy.

And when you exhale, feel that you're breathing out and resalee-sing any negative or toxic energy. Do that for a few more cycles. Now you're going to shift. You'll breathe in deeply for four seconds, then exhale for longer than four seconds, then exhale for longer than four seconds, gently using your abdominal muscles to lightly push out that breath until you've completed a full exhalation, then repeat, breathing in for four seconds and out for

more than four seconds. I recommend that you spend at least 20 minutes a day, at least three days a week doing this kind of breath work if you're in winter. It can be especially helpful if you're feeling frazzled or burned out. And again, it's okay if you fall asleep while you're doing it. The point is to help your body and your brain relax deeply. And therefore, while you're doing this meditation, some reflections and realizations come up for you, go ahead and write them down.

Take five minutes at the end of your session and write down any insights that came to you or that come to you in those five minutes. When we have been going and going and we finally encounter some stillness, it's common for us to see things we haven't seen before. As Albert K. M. S. once wrote, in the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me, they lay an invincible summer.

Okay, let's move on to our last season, spring. I saved spring for last because it's a time of renewal. I mentioned earlier that last year for me was a fall season, lots of productivity and lots of letting go. This year, I'm moving into spring. Spring is a time of rejuvenation and rebirth. I know I'm in a spring season now because when I tune into myself,

what I feel is the desire for newness. This will all need to learn new things, to read and to listen and just fill up my mind with new ideas, with new old wisdom, if that makes sense, along with new science. And I want to give myself time and space to make new connections and gain new insights for myself. Maybe some of you are feeling that too. Spring is a time for what you may have been heard called Beginner Mind. It's a mindset where you're approaching life with almost this

childlike fascination and curiosity so you can learn. Whereas winter is more contemplative and reflective, spring is like giving me new material to work with. In winter, you're kind of looking through where you've been and what you have, and in spring, you're wanting something new and different. Yoko Ono once shared something really beautiful about our connection with the seasons that I want to share with you. She said, Spring passes and one remembers one's innocence. Summer passes and one remembers once exuberance.

Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence. And winter passes and one remembers one's reverence and winter passes and one remembers one's perseverance. I love that idea of spring connected with innocence and that links to the practice I'm going to give you to support yourself. Stephen Kotler says we've got a mental tool that's like free

fuel for passion. That when we engage it, it effortlessly propels us and it's a tool we all have, the tool is curiosity. Spring is a time of following your curiosity. It's a time of exploring topics you're interested in, creating a vision board or brainstorming new ideas for your business or trying new things with your romantic relationship.

A few weeks ago, I offered a Friday podcast on how to expand your range. And if you're in spring season, if you missed it, I recommend you go back and listen to it, because I provide some ideas for following your curiosity, such as how to engage in an intentional sampling period. This week, I wanted to give you something totally different that's going to play on your curiosity

and also help you build a critical skill along with some relationships. This is a listening practice and it's focused on something called generous listening. Christa Tippett, host of the podcast, On Being, says generous listening is powered by curiosity. When we listen generously, we ask questions without presuming answers.

Our only goal is to learn. And science shows that when we truly listen to people, we create trust and deepen relationships. Now, one of the reasons we struggle to listen to people is because we don't ask good questions. If we ask boring questions, we'll get boring answers. So learning how to ask better questions makes us a better listener. Your generalist listening practice is to choose three people. They can be family member, friend, colleague, mentor, or maybe someone you'd just like to get to

know better or learn something new about them. You're going to invite each of these people to basically a one-side conversation. And I call it that because you're going to be asking the questions and simply listening to the answers. Imagine you're sort of interviewing the person. The best interviewers go deep. Remember your only goal here is to learn. What matters more than the answers the person gives is how intently you listen to them. Let yourself ask follow-up questions to explore their answers even further just like I do with my guests. For this exercise it doesn't matter who you choose because I truly believe everyone is something to teach us. You can set out with your own questions.

I recommend having three to five that's all you need, and here are some if you're struggling. What's something you wish more people knew about you? What's something that tends to be misunderstood about you? What's a viewpoint you have that might be surprising to others? How did you arrive at that viewpoint? What drives or motivates you? What's a viewpoint you have that might be surprising to others? How did you arrive at that viewpoint? What drives or motivates you? You'll invite three people for their own

30-minute conversation where you simply ask these questions or other ones you like, and after the conversation, take at least five minutes to reflect on what you've learned, what surprised you, did your perspective on anything shift. Now, notice that general listening is a practice you'll be able to use any time, not just in spring. Similarly, the seasons will overlap a bit here and there. It's not only in winter we need rest and recovery. We need to build that into all of our seasons to some degree. If you do some reflecting, you'll start to notice the predominant theme or season you're in right now. And if you embrace that and go with the seasonal flow, I promise you,

it'll be an incredible season to experience. Also, don't forget that simple practice from Andrew Huberman, that you can use no matter what season you're in, watching the sunrise and sunset, so that the natural light can help to regulate your body's clocks and cycles. Even if you can do it only one day a week, please do it. Spend 10 minutes outside if you can or looking through clear windows so your eyes can take in that full natural light.

I know that we went over a lot in this episode, so really listen, share it with a friend and discuss it, make sure you go back to the parts that you screen-shotted. Share what's easy in your in and what you're learning from it. And drop a note in the comments. As always, I'd love to hear from you. Thank you so much for listening to On Purpose. I'm so grateful to each and every one of you. And I'm sure we'll be connected again next week.

Thank you. Hey guys, this is Jay again, just a few more quick things before you leave. I know we try to focus on the good every day and I want to make that easier for you. Would you like to get a short email from me every week that gives you an extra dose of positivity? Weekly wisdom is my newsletter where I jot down whatever's on my mind that I think may uplift your week. Basically little bits of goodness that are going to improve your well-being. The short newsletter is all about growth and sending positivity straight to your inbox. Read it with a cup of tea, forward it to a friend, and let these straight to your inbox. Read it with a cup of tea, forward it to a friend and let these words brighten your day. To sign up, just go to jshetty.me

and drop your email in the pop-up. If you have trouble finding it, just scroll to the very bottom of the page and you'll see the sign up. Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy my weekly wisdom newsletter. This podcast was produced by Dust Light Productions. Our executive producer from Dust Light is Misha Yusuf. Our senior producer is Juliana Bradley. Our associate producer is Jacqueline Castillo. Valentino Rivera is our engineer.

Our music is from Blue Dot Sessions and special thanks to Rachel Garcia, the dust light development and operations coordinator. Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Nuneum, I'm a journalist, a wanderer, and a bit of a bond-vivant, but mostly a human just trying to figure out what it's all about. And not lost is my new podcast about all those things. It's a travel show where each week I go with a friend to a new place and to really understand it, try to get invited to a local's house for dinner. Where kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party, it doesn't always work out.

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and my whole view on astrology changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, give me a few minutes because I think your ideas are about to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The world of chocolate has been turned upside down. A very unusual situation. You saw the stacks of cash in our office.

Chocolate comes from the cacao tree, and recently, Variety's cacao, thought to have been lost centuries ago, were rediscovered in the Amazon. There is no chocolate on Earth like this. Now some chocolate makers are racing deep into the jungle to find the next game-changing chocolate, and I'm coming along. Okay, that was a very large cracker now. Listen to obs obsessions of wild chocolate on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

wherever you get your podcast.