On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 5 Ways to Find Balance Between Your Ambition and Wellbeing to Reach Your Potential & Succeed in Work and Life

Episode Date: April 16, 2021

Everyone says that to start that successful business or make that dream promotion, you have to work harder and longer than anyone else. But is that sustainable? Is there a way you can achieve success ...without burning out? On this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty outlines 5 simple ways to succeed in your dream career while thriving in your life. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Regardless of the progress you've made in life, I believe we could all benefit from wisdom on handling common problems. Making life seem more manageable, now more than ever. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the One You Feed Podcast, where I interview thought-provoking guests who offer practical wisdom that you can use to create the life you want. 25 years ago, I was homeless and addicted to heroin. I've made my way through addiction recovery, learned to navigate my clinical depression, and figured out how to build a fulfilling life. The one you feed has over 30 million downloads and was named one of the best podcasts by Apple Podcast.
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Starting point is 00:00:56 Join me on this journey. Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Getting better with money is a great goal for 2023, but how are you gonna make it happen? Ordering a book that lingers on your nightstand isn't gonna do the trick. Instead, check out our podcast, How To Money.
Starting point is 00:01:13 That's right, we're two best buds offering all the helpful personal finance information you need without putting you to sleep. We offer guidance three times a week, and we talk about debt payoff, saving more, intelligent investing, and increasing your earnings. Millions of listeners have trusted us to help them make progress with their financial goals. You can listen to How to Money on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you
Starting point is 00:01:35 get your podcasts. I'm Yvonne Gloria and I'm Mike DeGolmester Horne. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast, Hungry for History! On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages, from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home. Listen to Hungry for History on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:02:10 If you're like me, you have a passion for people and a genuine interest in helping them find success and happiness. Perhaps your past year wasn't the best you've ever had, but you're not ready to give up the hope and believe that you can live your purpose and make a difference. As I find strength in my support network and seeing the impact I create in others, I know you have the potential to do the the impact I create in others, I know you have the potential to do the same. I've designed the J-Sherry Certification School to equip people like you with the skills and knowledge to find success and help others do the same through life coaching. To date in the past year, almost 1,500 students have enrolled in our industry-recognized coaching
Starting point is 00:02:41 program and more than 150 have already graduated and are now practicing to guide clients to find fulfillment. Every day our students, Analumnai tell me how the program changed their lives, made them feel they belonged to something far bigger than themselves. How their dedicated supervisors in the school showed them respect and compassion when they needed it.
Starting point is 00:03:02 The incredible assistance and safety net that the community of fellow students, program counselors and support staff provide to make their journey special. They become part of an incredible family of like-minded people who share the same passion to serve others, a belonging that will last a lifetime.
Starting point is 00:03:20 So ask yourself, whether you're ready to become a part of our incredible family of life coaches. If you are, visit jsheddycoaching.com to make an appointment with us today. Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose, the number one health podcast in the world thanks to each and every single one of you. I just want to give a big shout out. We just hit 15,000 reviews with an average of five stars on the podcast. It's incredible. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. And if you haven't left a review, please do it. Make such a big difference to the podcast.
Starting point is 00:04:23 They help so many more listeners discover us. And I know that all of you are sharing this podcast on your stories and with your friends. And it truly, truly, truly means the world to me. Now, today's theme is all about how we achieve wealth and well-being. How do we balance ambition and you time? How many of you have massive goals? How many of you have things that you really want to achieve? Things that you believe are priorities in your life and
Starting point is 00:05:04 that you would regret if you didn't achieve them. But then how many of you also experience burnout? How many of you feel like you're not getting enough sleep? How many of you feel like you're always comparing yourself to what everyone else is doing? It can be really hard to manage the fine line between ambition and acceptance. How many of you ever get lost in that discussion of, am I too ambitious? Am I too accepting? Am I too complacent? Like, how many of you always get into the mind mess of it all? And you're sitting there going, oh, I'm not doing enough, I'm not doing enough, I'm not doing enough, everyone's doing so much. Or the other way he will be like, wow, I am just doing so much. I need to take a break. I need to actually listen to myself. Pearl Bailey once said that a person without ambition is dead.
Starting point is 00:05:56 A person without a person without ambition, but no love. A person with ambition but no love is dead. A person with ambition and love for their blessings here on earth is ever so alive. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you've heard me talk about how to maximize your productivity and impact. You've also heard me talk about how to live a life filled with more meaning and purpose. And you've probably heard me mention the importance of sleep and activities like meditation and exercise. But here's the big question, how do we do it all? Can we do it all? That's what we're talking about today, how to balance your ambition to live a purpose-filled and successful life with your desire for good health and emotion and mental well-being. Netflix CEO Reed Hastings once choked that for Netflix, the primary competition isn't another company, it's sleep. In her book, Kant Even, how millennials became the burnout generation, Anne Helen Peterson says that one of the biggest challenges in the internet age is the illusion that doing it all isn't just possible, but it's mandatory.
Starting point is 00:07:16 When we fail to do so, we blame ourselves. She writes that the biggest cause of burnout for millennials today is the continuous failure to reach the impossible expectations we've set for ourselves. Today, we're resetting those expectations and looking at how we can really attend to all of our competing priorities in a meaningful way. We're looking at how to achieve not only financial wealth or success in our field, but how to balance that with the time and practices that will make us sure that we're wealthy and wealthy, right? In our life, in our relationships, in everything we do. So, if you're ready to go, so am I. Let's do it. One of the biggest challenges to this idea is the belief we have that there are people that are
Starting point is 00:08:07 perfecting everything all of the time. So we'll say things or observe things and be like, oh my gosh, she is the perfect mom and has the perfect workout and has the perfect career all at the same time. Now chances are that person didn't do all of those things all at the same time. There was a time in their life that they build their health habits. There's a time in their life that they built their understanding of how to be a mother. There's a time in their life they built their entrepreneurial skills. There may be someone else you look at and go, oh my gosh, he's got it all together. You know, he's a great partner, he's working out, he's healthy, he's also making a ton of money.
Starting point is 00:08:49 I promise you, there is no person on the planet that achieved and built all of those habits in the same year. It's just not possible. Here's strategy number one. The problem is that we focus on the maximums instead of the minimums because we think that's how we'll get ahead. We focus on doing the most when really we should focus on doing the least.
Starting point is 00:09:17 Now stay with me. I'll explain what I mean. It sounds counter-attuitive but let's unpack it. On one hand Elon Musk has a sleeping bag under his desk. Indra Newey is clocking just four hours of pillow time a night, and Marissa Mayer says that the key to success is 130 hour work weeks. Jack Dorsey, co-founder of Twitter, and the founder of Square says he works 8 to 10 hours per day at one of those companies and then the same amount of the other. That's a 16-20-hour workday.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Or rather, that's what he used to do. These days, Dorsey is focusing on the minimums. Instead of maximizing his time at the two companies, he's getting a minimum of 8-9 hours of sleep a night and meditating for one hour at a time, sometimes twice a day. That's very much in line with my sleep and meditation minimums. He's also walking several miles to work and takes off regularly to socialize with close friends, and yet both companies are doing better than ever. Notice this though, Dorsey built Twitter and Square. And during that time, during that building phase, it took him to the point of working those 16 to 20 other days.
Starting point is 00:10:30 And now that he's built something, he's now finding more stability, more sustainability, more security, right? He's getting the opportunity. And so sometimes when we have that thought in our head, like, oh, it's easy for you to do that now because you're successful There is actually some truth in that
Starting point is 00:10:49 So sometimes when you're on the way up when you're figuring things out you may be working really hard You may be off balance and don't have the pressure in your head of like oh my gosh I need to have everything blan since I need to have everything organized I talk about it often that when I was building the work that I'm doing today, there were two years that I worked 18 hour days. I always meditated for my two hours a day, which has been my daily practice for the last 16 years,
Starting point is 00:11:17 15 to 16 years, but I was working 18 hour days. It took a hit on my health. It was tiring. I was exhausted. But I knew that if I could do that, it would allow me to start investing in my health. So what I want you to understand from this is that now that you hear stories of people sleeping this much time and meditating this much time, it wasn't that they necessarily did that on the way up. But at one point they had
Starting point is 00:11:45 to realize, and this is the key. You want to realize before you break and before you burn out. If you're building something that you're proud of, that you love, that you're passionate about, chances are you're going to work really hard. But the key thing is that you don't allow yourself to break or burn out. You switch, you evolve, you take this step. Dorsi is practicing something Ariana Huffington described when I talked to her on my podcast focusing on the minimums.
Starting point is 00:12:17 In 2010, when she was burnt out, literally she was working 18 hour days at Huffington Post and one day while working from home, she was simultaneously 18 hour days at Huffington Post and one day I was working from home she was simultaneously on the phone and reading an email when the next thing she knew she woke up in a pool of blood. She was so tired she'd passed out onto her desk and broke her cheekbone in the process. Ariana Huffington says it was a literal wake-up call. Several years later, she found it drive global, which is focused on improving health and quality of life. And now, while she's still crushing it, she's not getting crushed by it.
Starting point is 00:12:53 So, it's natural in the beginning to get crushed by the process. But you want to be careful to get those breaks, to get those moments, to get those weekends away where you do get to switch off where you do get to calm down where you do get to unplug. It may not be the longest unplug. It may not be the biggest time away from your company, but you have to realize even during the process, you need to find at least two days a month that you unplug, fully unplugged, no phone, no anything. Two out of 30 days a month in the building process. If you have built something to a certain level of establishment or its substantial to some degree, then I would encourage you to be taking all your evenings and weekends for yourself. It's so important that it starts moving in that direction. When we focus on the minimums, we look at our calendar differently.
Starting point is 00:13:58 Instead of filling in all of our work obligations first, we start with our self-obligations. How much sleep do we need to function at our best? How much family time? How much exercise? What about the breaks in the work day? So you literally shift from work obligations to self-obligations. Those are your non-negotiables. Those are your things that you know make you as good as you are and as good as you can be.
Starting point is 00:14:26 If you could see my phone right now, I'm looking at my calendar and absolutely all of this is on there. I have my meal times pruned out, I have my time with my wife planned out and you may say, well, where's the spontaneity? The spontaneity is in what you do with that time. The spontaneity is the energy that you bring to that time. Don't get it twisted, right? Like I love being spontaneous and I love being completely childlike in that sense, but that doesn't come from not having the time planned out, and that is what you do at that time.
Starting point is 00:14:57 I always say this, if it's not on the calendar, it just doesn't get done. It just doesn't. I promise you. Here's the exercise. Take a blank calendar week. If you don't have one handy, most computers will let you show or print a generic blank week. And not just fill in all of those things. How much do you need of those things each day or each week to feel good and grounded? To feel you have a solid foundation from which you can perform your best. So, for example, I know that I need to play tennis every morning for an hour. I know I need to do that. I love starting my day with play and I love starting my day with sweat. At the same time, I know I need to start my day with meditation. So now I've started starting my work days at 9.30 a.m. which means by that
Starting point is 00:15:46 time I've already been able to do that. Now you may be a parent, you may be dropping your kids off to school. So the times that you have available may be less, but the point is you still make that time for yourself. Here's a tip when coming up with your minimums in each area. Think about what makes a solid foundation for you to operate from in other areas of your life. But when you think about a foundation, think root's not bricks. Close your eyes and feel into your body
Starting point is 00:16:17 and consider, okay, I expect you to close your eyes for real right now. Close your eyes. Feel into your body and consider what doesn't make you feel solid. What helps you feel nourished? What truly makes you feel supported. You're not a machine. You're more like a tree. You're organic. You're not on a regulated, regimented,
Starting point is 00:16:52 military production schedule. You live seasonally. Sometimes you're growing and bearing fruit. Sometimes you're striving towards the sun. And sometimes you're shedding leaves and resting. That's what self-care is about. It's not about ticking off more checkboxes. It's about deep care and self-consideration.
Starting point is 00:17:15 And so every day also doesn't have to look exactly the same. Unless that works for you, the exception is probably your sleep baseline and keeping that steady. But otherwise, we can also think of our minimums seasonally as well as daily. I know that recently I've been wearing the aura ring and I love checking it because sometimes you don't even realize that you've had five bad nights. You've slept after your bedtime for five nights and then you're wondering why you're tired. It's a great way of keeping accountable. It's a great way of measuring. You know, we always hear this in business like you can't improve what you don't measure. The same is true in your life. In the 1680s, a
Starting point is 00:17:58 feisty opera singer burned down a nunnery and stole away with her secret lover. In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruise way to total freedom, with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans. What are these stories having common? They're all about real women who were left out of your history books. If you're tired of missing out, check out the Womanica podcast, a daily women's history podcast highlighting women you may not have heard of, but definitely should know about.
Starting point is 00:18:34 I'm your host Jenny Kaplan, and for me, diving into these stories is the best part of my day. I learned something new about women from around the world and leave feeling amazed, inspired, and sometimes shocked. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. How's that New Year's resolution coming along? You know, the one you made about paying off your pesky credit card debt and finally starting to save your retirement? Well, you're not alone if you haven't made progress yet, roughly four in five New Year's resolutions fail within the first month or two. But that doesn't have to be the case for you and your goals, our podcast How to Money
Starting point is 00:19:12 can help. That's right, we're two best buds who've been at it for more than five years now and we want to see you achieve your money goals and it's our goal to provide the information and encouragement you need to do it. We keep the show fresh by answering list of our questions, interviewing experts and focusing on the relevant financial news that you need to do it. We keep the show fresh by answering listener questions, interviewing experts, and focusing on the relevant financial news that you need to know about. Our show is Choc Full of the personal finance knowledge that you need with guidance three times a week and we talk about debt payoff. If, let's say you've had a particularly spend thrift holiday season, we also talk about building up your savings,
Starting point is 00:19:40 intelligent investing, and growing your income, no matter where you are on your financial journey, how do monies got your back. Millions of listeners have trusted us to help them achieve their financial goals. Ensure that your resolution turns into ongoing progress. Listen to how to money on the iHeart Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. This is what it sounds like inside the box card. I'm journalist and I'm Morton in my podcast City of the Rails. I plunge into the dark world of America's railroads, searching for my daughter Ruby, who ran off to hop train.
Starting point is 00:20:11 I'm just like stuck on this train, not where I'm gonna end up, and I jump. Following my daughter, I found a secret city of unforgettable characters, living outside society, off the grid and on the edge. I was in love with a lifestyle and the freedom of this community. No one understands who we truly are. The rails made me question everything I knew about motherhood, history, and the thing we call the American Dream. It's the last vestige of American freedom.
Starting point is 00:20:44 Everything about it is extreme. You're either going to die, or you can have this incredible rebirth and really understand who you are. Come with me to find out what waits for us in the city of the rails. Listen to the city of the rails on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Or, cityoftherails.com. So let's move on to strategy two.
Starting point is 00:21:07 When I listed all of those hours that some famous CEOs are working, maybe you were not in thinking, that's what it takes to get ahead, more, more, more, more hours, more meetings, more deliverables. This idea that more work is better work really came from the industrial revolution
Starting point is 00:21:22 when machines came online to take over a lot of jobs people were doing. Productivity became about maximum hours because for machines, maximum hours meant maximum output. But as Rahaf Harfouche points out in her book, Husslem Float, those standards that applied to machines are in many cases causing us to turn in poorer quality work over time and they're making us burn out. So if earlier you were listening to me, you're like, okay, I get it, you're telling me to work hard as well. But how do I know when to slow down?
Starting point is 00:21:53 How do I know when I'm gonna break? When you start to see yourself putting out no quality work. So you do want to work hard, but as soon as you start seeing your output decline in quality, in substance, in depth, that's when you know it's time to slow down, wind down, and take those two days a month.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Those 24 hours in 30 days, because if you're not doing that, and unfortunately what usually happens is we think, oh, I'm getting away with it, right? Like, the quality's not as good, but we're getting away with it. People seem to still like the product, whatever we're doing, but we don't realize that we are being affected by it. Check this out.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Researchers looked at 40 people who had symptoms of burnout and who'd worked about 60 to 70 hours a week for several years. They compared these people with 70 people from a similar economic background burnout and who'd worked about 60 to 70 hours a week for several years. They compared these people with 70 people from a similar economic background who were relatively unstressed. They hooked each participant up to electrodes and asked them to focus on a picture. Then the researchers played a sudden loud noise in the background. Both groups were equally startled and agitated by the noise, but those in the burnout group had a much harder time recovery.
Starting point is 00:23:08 Their nervous systems took longer to return to resting levels. Here's something that may be even more surprising. Psychologists at Rice University wanted to look at how our mood impacts creativity. Workers kept journals recording their moods while their bosses reported how well they thought the participants were doing with regard to their creativity. Now you might think that we're more productive and creative in positive states, but in reality, those with the greatest creative performance experienced a full variety of positive and negative moods. Today, lots of us are feeling pressured and not only performed to the top of our game,
Starting point is 00:23:46 but to always be happy and fully engaged while we're doing it. To think we have the best job ever at all times. In reality, we need to be able to be ourselves to be creative. We need to be authentic and be able to acknowledge when we're frustrated or struggling. I was talking to a coaching client on mine recently, and I was saying that it's not about sharing perfection, it's about sharing your truth.
Starting point is 00:24:10 And so if you're confused, share that, right? Put that into your work. That's the phenomena of art and expression. When you bring your confusion and curiosity into your work, that's what people are connecting with. And that's what people are resonating with. When I think about music that works today, when I think about art that appeals to our mind and hearts, it does so because someone shared their truth and you can relate to their truth. You can't relate to their perfection. You can't relate to their supposed, I have arrived, but you can relate to their pain.
Starting point is 00:24:59 And when you think about the fact that when you're nervous system, also has a harder time regulating itself when you're working long hours, it points out the benefits of a short-to-work day. Studies show that those who work 40 to 55 hours per week perform better than those who work 65 hours or more. Henry Ford saw that way back in the 1920s, the quality of workers' performance declined beyond 40 hours per week. And Harfouche says for today's knowledgeable workers or knowledge workers who engage in complex analytical and creative thought, the optimal work they could be even shorter, more like six to seven hours per day of high intensity work. Now that's the key.
Starting point is 00:25:38 Right? Usually when people hear these studies, they're like, oh yeah, I should have a shorter work. They know that's not the point. You should have a shorter work. They have more intense work. So most of us are working 12, 14, 16 hour days, but it's not high intensity. And so we feel more tired. We feel less energized, less productive. But if you're doing six to seven hours of high intensity work, you're then getting more time to rest, more time to relax, more time to meditate,
Starting point is 00:26:05 but the time at work was spent phenomenally. According to FAS company, lifestyle brand Tower has instituted a five hour workday. A company in New Zealand experienced greater productivity when it switched to four day work weeks. Jason Fried, CEO of Basecamp, advocates a flexible eight hour day, meaning those hours can be worked at any time. Massively successful outdoor brand Patagonia is similar with a flexible policy that allows employees to take off work to hit the beach when the waves are good or take their kids hiking. Now what I think is really important about that is what you need to realize is, could you do the work you do in your current day in less time,
Starting point is 00:26:47 and therefore actually have more downtime, even while you're at work? I remember when I worked in the corporate world, that was definitely true. I really found that I was able to do most of what I was required to do, even above and beyond, within about six to seven hours, which meant I had at least another two to three hours in the workplace that I could use for personal growth and personal research. So instead of more, more, more, we want to think better, better, better. So if you're not getting better and you're losing the aptitude to get better, that's the sign that you need to start slowing down.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Right? So that's what I was doing when I was working those busy 18-hour days, sometimes, when I started to see my quality was dipping, my focus was decreasing. That's what I knew I needed to take a break. Some of the ways I did that was I have a little minute timer, you know, the ones you can turn over and the hourglass and you can watch the sand move. I have that as a distraction timer. It allows me to time my distraction. Let's me have a welcome break. I love the idea of working in blocks. I have creative mornings and logical afternoons. I have number mornings or number days and logical days or creative days and creative
Starting point is 00:27:54 afternoons. That way I can really, really go deep into focus and setting up for the next morning, the night before has changed my life. I never wake up not knowing what I'm going to do. I always know what I'm going to be doing from the night before. Okay, so strategy three. On top of working long hours, when we're away from work, we're often not truly off. Neurologist Nathaniel Watson calls our 24-hour culture, the caffeine industrial complex. We're either thinking about work over engaged in some kind of mindless activity like scrolling social media or binging a show.
Starting point is 00:28:29 Not that there's anything wrong with these things in moderation, but they mostly end up stealing our rest time. We think we're resting, but we're not. We're agitated and outside of ourselves. It's not restorative. When you're off, be off and be engaged instead in something purposeful and restorative, it has to be meaningful rest. This is what athletes understand that will help us substantially. Rest days on days where they're doing nothing, maybe they're
Starting point is 00:29:01 not training or they're doing active rest, like going for a fun hike or a walk. But the rest is work too. Because what athletes know is that gains are made on rest days. That's why bodybuilders would never hit their chest and back hard two days in a row. It actually depletes their muscles. They know they aren't gaining strength and mastering the workouts so much as afterwards in the rest and repair phase. This is the mindset shift we need to make when thinking about balance. Off is still on. That's why ideally we schedule our self-care and rest first and then fill in the rest of our calendar.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Being off and resting is part of our game plan for achieving our goals and you have to see it that way. See, half the issue is seeing it that way. When you realize that actually if I take rest today, I'm going to be better, then it feels a part of the ambition. You have to make your self-acceptance a part of your ambition. You don't have to see it as opposing. We say it as acceptance versus ambition. It's acceptance with ambition. We say it as acceptance versus ambition, it's acceptance with ambition. Right?
Starting point is 00:30:06 And when you make that mindset shift, that paradigm shift, everything starts to move. So here's strategy four. We also need to look at the hidden cause of lack of me time. And this one will probably surprise you. It's not wanting to be with ourselves. In think like a monk, I described a study where people would rather give themselves an
Starting point is 00:30:25 electric shock than be alone without distraction for just a few minutes. Cal Newport writes that solitude is important because it provides us with a subjective state in which your mind is free from input from other minds. It allows us to see what we really think and become aware of who we really are and how we truly feel. But that can be terrifying. Research shows that one of the best ways to help kids' brains develop
Starting point is 00:30:51 is to give them opportunities to be bored. Disgap in distraction or needing to perform gives us opportunities to think novel thoughts, to catch up with ourselves, to reflect on the world around us and our role in it. And again, as it turns out, so much of our stress and discontent is from that pendulum swing of needing to be exceptionally productive and perform at peak levels. And now the pressure to get a hours of sleep a night.
Starting point is 00:31:18 We want both of those things, but it's actually being able to live more in the gaps of those two spaces that can help us realize success in both. Instead of swinging from one extreme to the other, thinking about modulating your day, turning the volume up a little here, down a bit there. It's similar to how our nervous system regulates ourselves. Let your mind wander sometimes, engaging conversations with co-workers or with store clerks when you're out. Again, this helps us be more human and that humanness allows you to bring more presence to your work. Now, I want to share one last strategy with you. Strategy number five. Harvard Business
Starting point is 00:31:56 Schools, Francis Frye, was asked how companies can perform consistently well day after day. Her answer was surprising. To be excellent at some things, you have to accept that you're bad at other things. She gave the example of Steve's job speaking about the MacBook Air and explaining that in order to be the best at being the lightest laptop, they had to accept being bad at having accessories, like an internal DVD drive, which would add weight. Patagonia is similar to accept being excellent at providing fair trade sustainable products. They accept being bad at having the biggest color
Starting point is 00:32:31 or product selection. For example, when they found out that they couldn't obtain an orange dye that wouldn't be environmentally destructive, they simply decided the product wouldn't be available in orange. Decide what you're willing to be bad at to be great at something else.
Starting point is 00:32:46 But have fun with it. This is not about self-judgment and jacksum humor. One of my friends decided to be bad at keeping up with the latest TV shows. So she could be good at having meaningful family dinners and being well-rested. Another one of my friends is bad at trying to maintain more than two truly close friendships at a time
Starting point is 00:33:04 because she feels she starts failing at something after that, either being fully present with family work or her friends. So you may find that a lot of people in your life don't have time for you or they only have time for what they're going through, that's okay. And you need to actually do this exercise, list it out. I'm willing to be bad at X so that I can be great at Y. Because here's the conclusion. Well, we can't actually have everything we ever want. With some planning and attention, we can have the things that are most meaningful to us. Remember, it's all
Starting point is 00:33:38 about what order it happens in. This year, maybe the year of a particular habit or a particular strength, don't make it a year of everything because then you make it a year of nothing. Thank you so much to listening to on purpose. I hope that you will share this episode, share on Instagram what you learn from this episode as well. I can't wait to see your insights and I look forward to you joining us for more episodes. Thank you so much. This podcast was produced by Dust Light Productions. Our executive producer from Dust Light is Misha Yusuf, our senior producer is Julianna Bradley, our associate producer is Jacqueline Castillo, Valentino
Starting point is 00:34:37 Rivera is our engineer, our music is from Blue Dot Sessions and special thanks to Rachel Garcia, the Dust light development and operations coordinator. I am Yomla Van Zant and I'll be your host for The R Spot. Each week listeners will call me live to discuss their relationship issues. Nothing will tear a relationship down faster than two people with no vision. Does your all are just floppin' around like fish out of water? Mommy, daddy, your ex, I'll be talking about those things and so much more.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Check out the R-Spot on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season, and yet we're constantly discovering new secrets. The variety of them continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share 10 incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
Starting point is 00:35:54 or wherever you get your podcasts. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast in each bite-sized daily episode, time management and productivity expert Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental
Starting point is 00:36:20 equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to Before Breakfast on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. of pumping iron. Listen to Before Breakfast on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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