On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 6 Steps On How To Understand Your Partner’s Love Language & Improve Your Communication Instantly

Episode Date: February 28, 2020

One of Jay Shetty’s favorite books is The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In this video, Jay Shetty breaks down his six steps to understanding your partner’s love language and improve your communication now. Listen in to learn more about the five love languages. Jay Shetty explains how to effectively express your love language to your partner and discover what their love language is too. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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To find the next game-changing chocolate, and I'm coming along. Okay, that was a very large crack it up. Listen to the obsessions while chocolate. and I'm coming along. Okay, that was a very large crack it up. Listen to the obsessions while chocolate. On the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Yvonne Gloria. And I'm Maite Gomes-Rajon. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast,

Hungry for History. On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home. Listen to hungry for history on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our 20s are often seen as this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, make mistakes, and figure out our lives.

But what can psychology teach us about this time? I'm Jermis Beg, the host of the Psychology of Your 20s. Each week, we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s. From career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, and much more to explore the science behind our experiences. The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. But if you need it, and you're not saying you need it, guess what?

No one's going to read your mind. No one's going to figure it out, especially when you keep saying in every conversation. No, I don't need it. I don't need anything. No, no, I'm fine. Like, no, don't worry about me. So it's so important. The first step is understand your own love language.

You can't understand anyone else's unless you've done the work to understand your own Hey, everyone welcome back to on purpose. Thank you so much for tuning in today I'm so excited to speak with you now whether you're walking your dog, whether you're commuting, whether you're sitting, relaxing, whether you're cooking, whatever you're up to right now. Thank you for spending this time with me. I genuinely love that we get to connect. I love the fact that you share your biggest insights in your Instagram stories on Twitter, on Facebook, on LinkedIn.

It means the world to me. When I can see what you're learning, which insights you're taking away, which words are having an impact, it helps me be better for you. Now, that's really what's most important to me is that this podcast serves you, that this podcast creates a space for you

to go to, to find answers, to connect with yourself, and to gain practical tips to transform your life. So thank you so much. Keep sharing it all across and please, please, please, make sure you leave a review as well because it makes a huge, huge difference to the podcast and others that want to listen. Now today's episode, as you know, is all about the six steps on how to understand your partner's love language and improve your communication radically. So Gary Chapman wrote this great book called The Five Love Languages. And if you haven't read it, I highly recommend that you do read it. If you have read it, this episode is still going to help you because it's going to help

you actually put it into practice with my reflections and realizations since reading the book a long, long time ago, but also at the same time applying them in my own relationship with my wife, Rady. And this is something that I think about intently and something that I put a lot of conscious effort into. So I really want you to tune in, listen carefully today. One of the things you can do is that it put a lot of conscious effort into. So I really want you to tune in, listen carefully today.

One of the things you can do is that it's a great book to read with your partner or read and then give to your partner after you've read it. It's a great couple's book because it's so simple to apply. So thank you very much to Gary Chapman, of course, for writing the book and giving us this wonderful framework. And let me talk to you through it. Some of you may be wondering,

I don't even know what the five love languages are. And that's absolutely fine. Or you've heard this concept before, but you don't know in depth. So let me explain the five love languages to you. What love languages mean is that there is a certain type of communication, gift, connection that actually resonates with us deeper, that resonates with each of

us more meaningfully. So we all know that there are lots of different ways of receiving love, but there are particular ways of receiving love that we prioritize unconsciously or consciously as more or less important. Now the five love languages as outlined by Gary Chapman are words of affirmation being the first. Now what words of affirmation means is that some of us like to be acknowledged, recognized and told what we're doing right. We want to be appreciated, we want to receive words of gratitude, words of affirmation, affirming, encouraging, right? Being really conscious and being active in our

words of praise and recognition is really, really important to some of us. Now, the key here is that, of course, it should be specific. Of course, it should be genuine. Of course, it needs to be truthful and real. But for some of us, words of affirmation is our love language. So, it's something to think about. And words, remember, can be in any form. It can be a text. It can be spoken. It can be a card. It can be a letter. It can be a voice note. It can be a text, it can be spoken, it can be a card, it can be a letter, it can be a voice note, it can be a FaceTime call. There are many different ways in which words of affirmation can take the form of a medium. Now, the second love language is physical touch. This is any sort of communication that's nonverbal. It could be a loving embrace, a hug, a kiss on the forehead.

This is not referring to just sexual touch. This is talking about comforting touch, confidence touch, being able to hold hands, right? It's the ability to maybe take an intimate moment, beginning of the end of the day. It's so much more. And physical touch, one of the things that misses out now is that so many people are not even hugging each other. And we all know the power of hugging, especially long hugs, hugs that are 8 to 10 seconds or over,

are better for our health, better for our wellbeing. And so so many of us actually feel the most loved when we're hugged, when we're embraced, when we're cared for physically, right? That's what physical touches. So that's the second love language. The third love language is receiving gifts. So this means small gifts, big gifts, surprises. It could be a thing, it could be an experience, right? A gift can mean many different things, and understanding what a gift means to your partner is really, really important. The fourth is quality time. It is what it is.

I mean, we all know what quality time is. The undisrupted, not full of distractions, way of giving your attention to someone in a one-to-one conversation, creating a space where you can truly connect free of anything that's taking away your focus, feeling like you are just with that person and that nothing is more important, actively listening, proactively engaging eye contact, right quality time. And the fifth and final love language, as Gary Chapman calls it, is acts of service. So this is chores around the home.

It's helping out around what needs to be done. It's making breakfast for someone or making dinner for them. It's helping out, right, acts of service. So these are the five love languages as outlined in the book. Now, the reason why this is so powerful and so important, no matter if you think this is basic or you've heard it before, I promise you there is more in this episode to actually uncover and dive deep into each and every single one of these love languages.

And if you practice them, you will save yourself so much time. How many of you know that in the past you wasted so much time trying to impress someone, trying to do things that you think they would like and they didn't like them that they weren't impressed by them. Right? How many of you have wasted so much money, you will save money if you practice what I'm about to show in this podcast. How many of you have wasted so much money, you will save money if you practice what I'm about to show in this podcast. How many of you have wasted so much money on gifts, holidays, vacations, experiences that the other person didn't value? And you had left there scratching your head, going, why does this person not value this?

I don't understand, right? How many times have you ever been in that situation where you think you're giving everything to this person, you think you've gone above and beyond, where you think you're giving everything to this person, you think you've gone above and beyond, but actually they're looking at you like, you don't love them, like you don't care. So often we waste money because we don't know someone's love language. And we all save energy. How many of us spend so much time trying to figure out what to do, something special for our partners, but we get it wrong.

And then we get dissatisfied. And then we get disappointed. And then we get disheartened. You may be wondering, like you may say, well, people should just be grateful for what they get in. And in this true, it is beautiful to be grateful for any love we receive in any form, in any language. But the truth is that as a lover, and this applies to a friend as well, not just romantic partners, as a friend, as a partner, as a husband or a wife, or a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, learning to love in the way someone wants to be loved is far more the definition of love

than just loving in any way. So while it's true that people should be grateful for whatever type of love they receive in life, we should also realize as someone who is giving love, real love is figuring out how someone wants to be loved. Real love is figuring out how someone wants to be loved and love them in that way, not just anyway. In the same way as when we say things like, you should

know me, right? Like, how do you not know me? How do you not know what I want? That's a desire to be understood. And these five love languages make it simpler. So I'm going to share these six steps with you today on how to actually understand how to process, practically apply. I want to share some stories from my own life. Mistakes have made things I've got right. I'm wrong. And hopefully these will help you actually process them in your own life.

So before you understand their love language, you have to understand yours. And this is one of the biggest mistakes sometimes we make. We try and understand and learn someone else's language without actually understanding our own deeply. And the reason for this is if you don't do the deep work to understand yours, you won't realize the value of knowing, you won't realize how deep it is and how important and significant it is. And you may not be able to help the other person uncover what there is, if they're new to this

concept or if it sounds like alien or woo-woo to them, you want to help them realize that it's so much more deeper than that. The first step, before you understand their love language, you have to understand your love language. And a good way to reflect on this that I found is asking yourself, what makes you happiest? Right, when you receive something from a partner, what is the one that feels the most satisfying out of everything you receive? And it's simple to just ask yourself,

do I feel the most satisfied when I'm hearing words of affirmation? Right, when my partner says to me, I'm really impressed by you. What you're of affirmation, right? When my partner says to me, I'm really impressed by you. What you're achieving is amazing, right? Is that when you feel most satisfied, comforted, enthusiastic? Is it physical touch?

Do you wish that your partner would hug you more and brace you more? Is it receiving gifts? Is it that when you get a surprise gift or you get a big gesture, a small gesture, or someone brings home something on their way home for work? Is that what when you get a surprise gift or you get a big gesture or a small gesture or someone brings home something on their way home for work? Is that what makes you feel like you're falling in love all over again? Or is it genuinely quality time?

Or is it acts of service? Now, you may be sitting there going, Jay, it's all of them, right? I want all of them. Well, see, that means that we lack some self-awareness. Because if it's all of them, right, it is all of them in some cases, but the truth is the way to really apply it is to put them in a priority order.

So of course we like all of them. I like all of them too, but we have a priority order which we want to figure out. Now, one of the things Gary Chapman says that he talks about is, you know, what is it that when your partner does it, or doesn't do it, that it causes you some pain? Like, for example, when they miss your birthday,

when they miss an anniversary, when they don't congratulate you on something, or when they don't embrace you, right? Which one causes you pain? So just as I asked you to focus on what brings you joy, ask yourself what causes you pain, or what is missing from your relationship, that can also help you understand your love language.

What are you missing in that relationship? What connection are you lacking? What do you see yourself wanting? And sometimes it's not the one that we actually say to the person. Right? Sometimes it's not actually the one that we say to the person. Sometimes we say to someone we want quality time or I wish you'd spend more time with me, but we have to ask ourselves, what are we saying in our minds and our heads? That we're not even vocalizing to them. Which is what we really want. For example, some of us would struggle to tell our partners,

I really wanted a big gift for my birthday, right? It sounds not a gift, like on Instagram, or Twitter, I mean, a gift, right? A gift, like you'd feel awkward saying that because you think you sound materialistic. You think you sound needy. You think you sound demanding, but the truth is, you really want it.

We have to learn to vocalize what we're not saying. Sometimes what we're asking for is not what we truly want. It's what we not asking for that we want. Right? Think about that carefully. In relationships, so often, what we're asking for is not what we truly want. What we're not asking for is what we truly want. Think about that for a moment. Our twenties are seen as this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, full in love, make mistakes, and decide what we want from our life. But what can psychology really teach us about this decade?

I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the Psychology of Your 20s. Each week, we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, friendships, and much more to explore the science and the psychology behind our experiences, incredible guests, fascinating topics, important science, and a bit of my own personal experience. Audrey, I honestly have no idea what's going on with my life. Join me as we explore what our 20s are really all about, from the good, the bad, and the ugly, and listen along as we uncover how everything is psychology, including our 20s.

The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Now streaming on the iHotRadio app, Apple podcasts, or whatever you get your podcasts. The therapy for Black Girls podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help Black women dig a little deeper into the most impactful relationships in our lives, those with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends, and most importantly,

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I was born, it's been a part of my life. In India, it's like smoking. You might not smoke, but you're going to get secondhand astrology. And lately, I've been wondering if the universe has been trying to tell me to stop running and pay attention, because maybe there is magic in the stars if you're willing to look for it. So I rounded up some friends and we dove in and let me tell you, it got weird fast.

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Listen to Skyline Drive in the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. When you start to answer this for yourself first, what causes you the greatest joy when you receive it, be what causes you the greatest pain when you don't receive it, ask yourself why and be really specific, right? Be really specific about why. And like I said, I want you to put the five in order for you because that means you really thought about it, right?

I mean, you really thought about giving it a ranking, giving it a priority in your life. And I want you to be honest with yourself. Sometimes we feel uncomfortable saying, I need words of affirmation. I know a lot of friends, male friends who would feel that it would hurt their ego to actually tell their partner that they need to hear, that they look good, that they need to hear that they're proud of the work that they're doing in their career and their

promotion. But if you need it and you're not saying you need it, guess what? No one's going to read your mind. No one's going to figure it out, especially when you keep saying you need it, guess what? No one's going to read your mind. No one's going to figure it out, especially when you keep saying in every conversation. No, I don't need it. I don't need anything. No, no, I'm fine. Like, no, don't worry about me.

So it's so important. The first step is understand your own love language. You can't understand anyone else's unless you've done the work to understand your own, right? It's just not going to happen. So think about that first. And I really want you to come back. You can take a screenshot of where we are right now. If you want to come back and do this activity, because this is the foundation of the rest of today's episode. The second step is understanding their language. And you can ask them to do the same reflection that you have.

And this is why it's important that you do it, because if you've done it, you can now say, Hey, this is how it worked for me. This is what I learned about myself. I really recommend trying this out. And you can help them understand this, Right? What we don't understand is, if you don't help them understand theirs, you will keep giving them yours if you don't know theirs. Right? It's like paying someone euros when they live in the USA. That's what it means. Or it's like trying to speak to someone in Spanish when they speak Hindi, right? It doesn't make sense. That's what the

mismatch of love languages is. If you walked up to someone and you didn't know what language they spoke and you just start speaking to them in English, but they're like, I don't understand English. That's how it feels to not receive love in your love language. It's confusing. It lacks clarity. It's underwhelming, it's uninspiring quite frankly and you don't have to engage with it. And that's why so many couples today are disengaged in their relationships because they're being spoken to in the wrong language. So take them through the same process, ask them the same questions, hey, what when I do it brings you the greatest joy.

And what when I make mistakes causes you the greatest pain, makes you feel the biggest lack, makes you feel the biggest loss, the biggest emptiness that you feel in this relationship. So really take them through the process, explain to them the five that exist, and ask them to create a ranking order too. Now, so let me tell you about this with me and Radee. So I grew up and my biggest love language, my whole life, has been gifts. That's been my number one, I'd say, is gifts. The second love language for me has definitely been, I'd say, words of affirmation. Words of affirmation have always been very important to me. I'm a verbal person.

I'm an expressive person. I love sharing. Hence, when this is a perfect example, when you share an Instagram saying, how much you're loving the podcast, it means a lot to me. It deeply impacts my soul. Right? So that's my second one. The third one I'd say that I feel the most love from is probably quality time.

The fourth one is physical touch and the fifth is active service. So when I first met Rady, I assumed that everyone loved or wanted to be loved in the same way I do. And I believed that love was certain things. So I believed that love was gifts and words of affirmation. So I would shower Radi every anniversary, every birthday, every Christmas with gifts. And she'd never really quite loved them or get excited. Sometimes she'd give them back. Sometimes she'd be underwhelmed by them.

Like she would be grateful. She'd always be grateful and she'd always be happy. But I could tell she was enjoyable. And I'd be wondering, I'd be like, what do you mean I spent so much money? I made so much preparation. I tried so hard. And I was like, ah,

there's something wrong here, and I would think she was wrong. I would think she's not grateful, and she doesn't care. And then I would always give her words of affirmation, and they mean a lot to her. They're definitely important to her, and I could see that they were important to her. But also on my birthdays and et cetera, or the way back, she wouldn't give me gifts.

So she'd cook for me, she'd make incredible meals for me, and she'd spend quality time with me. And as I said to you, they were lower down on my priority. So again, I felt unloved. I had to feel unloved and so often we can overamplify the issue until I realized that I was giving her what I wanted. Right? So that's step two. Step three, this one's so powerful. So many of our love languages are based on parental impact.

Listen to this carefully. Our love languages, this is my personal reflection and what I've realized from trying to apply this. So many of our love languages are based on how our parents loved us or didn't love us. What our parents gave us either has become our priority or what they didn't give us has become our priority. So for example, my mother would always make sure that she'd save up and buy me the one gift that I wanted in a year. And therefore my love language became gifts

that was very important. And in Rade's home, they would always spend quality time together and acts of service that cook together, that travel, you know, some sort of quality time. And so that became hers. So for so many of us parental impact is the foundation of what we expect from our partners. What our parents did or didn't give us is what we

expect from our partners. We're trying to use our partners to fill a void or to continue an experience that our parents created. And we have to look at that from the perspective of gaining a set of context, a higher view of why we function the way we function. And we also have to look at the negatives of that. How much are we demanding of our partners because we didn't receive it from our parents? And how much of it can we start giving back to ourselves? And I'm going to quote an earlier episode that I did at the end of last year called the six reasons we need to learn to develop the emotional skills our parents didn't have.

If you haven't heard that episode, I'll highly recommend going back and listen to it. But that's the third step. Don't forget parental impact. Take a look at how their parents and speak to them about But that's the third step. Don't forget parental impact. Take a look at how their parents and speak to them about it and how your parents have impacted the love languages that you most value. Now here's the fourth step.

This step is called Go Deeper. What I mean by this is, it's really easy to look at this list and be like, okay, words of affirmation, I'm just gonna tell someone I love them every day. Okay, physical touch, I'm just gonna give someone a hug every morning. Okay, receiving gifts, I'll just buy them a gift

for their birthday. Okay, quality time, we'll just spend the weekend together. Okay, acts of service I'll make dinner once a week or once a month or whatever it is. And when it becomes like that, where it becomes like a technique, it loses the essence, it loses the real reason, it loses the real power of what it truly is. And that's what I'm saying, go deeper. Gifts doesn't just mean physical

objects. Touch doesn't just mean a handshake or walking with your holding hands. The words of affirmations doesn't just mean throwing around words, right? It's so much more than that. And I'll give you an example. I, as I've grown older, gifts have become less and less important to me, because if there is something that I really want, then I will purchase it for myself. And most things, you know, that most of my wants are like books and stuff like that or tech. I have quite a few tech objects, but as time's gone on,

that's become less of a priority for me. So for Rade to express love to me has become more interesting. Now, she has completely blown my mind with this principle and how deeply she's understood it. When we unpacked the love language I received from my mother of gifts. And I explained this to her, I realized it wasn't actually the gift. It was the surprise of a gift. My love language was actually surprise, not gifts. And so I'm not saying that they have to be huge gifts, huge surprises, but Radhi has totally outdone herself. And in the last two years, she did one surprise birthday party for me.

And she also did one surprise party for me for my event that I did in LA last year. Now, let me give you a context of the birthday party. I was told by my manager that we were going for a networking event. I really wasn't looking forward to it. I was pretty tired and I go and I end up at this home thinking that we're going to go to this networking event and it happens to be my birthday party with all of my closest friends in LA, loads of amazing people turned up and I'm so grateful. Same thing I think I'm coming home from my event and I'm just going to be with her and she

surprises me again. Now, what I'm saying here is not about the grandness of the gesture, it's about the depth of understanding. Gifts could be really surprise. Words of affirmation could be specific and congratulatory and it could be better as a written letter, it could be better as a card, it could be better spoken, it could be better as a voice note,

it's important to understand the difference. Quality time could be an experience, it could mean rest, it could mean a conversation, and acts of service may even just be offering to help not even actually doing anything. So it's really important that each and every one of us take this step to go deeper on each of these affirmations. It's so easy to just try and practice them superficially that even that will not create

the bond that we all truly want in our relationships. I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved by the Tinder swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help.

As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify the narcissist in your life. Each week, you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships.

Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is what it sounds like inside the box card. I'm journalist and I'm Morton in my podcast, City of the Rails. I plunge into the dark world of America's railroads, searching for my daughter Ruby, who ran off to hop train. I'm just like stuck on this train, not where I'm gonna end up, and I jump! Following my daughter, I found a secret city of unforgettable characters, living outside society, off the grid and on the edge. I was in love with a lifestyle and the freedom

of this community. No one understands who we truly are. The Rails made me question everything I knew about motherhood, history, and the thing we call the American Dream. It's the last vestige of American freedom. Everything about it is extreme. You're either going to die, or you can have this incredible rebirth, and really understand who you are.

Come with me to find out what waits for us in the city of the rails. Listen to city of the rails on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or, cityoftherails.com. Not too long ago, in the heart of the Amazon Rainforest, this explorer stumbled upon something that would change his life. I saw it and I saw, oh wow, this is a very unusual situation. It was cacao, the tree that gives us chocolate.

But this cacao was unlike anything experts had seen, or tasted. I've never wanted us to have a gun bite. I mean, you saw this tax of cash in our office. Chocolate sort of forms this vortex. It sucks you in. or tasted. I've never wanted us to have a gun fight. I mean, you saw the stacks of cash in her office. Chocolate sort of forms this vortex. It sucks you in. It's like I can be the queen of wild chocolate. You're all lost.

It was madness. It was a game changer. People quit their jobs. They left their lives behind, so they could search for more of this stuff. I wanted to tell their stories, so I followed them deep into the jungle, and it wasn't always pretty. Basically, this like disgruntled guy and his family surrounded the building armed with machetes. And we've heard all sorts of things that, you know, somebody got shot over this.

Sometimes I think, oh, all this for a damn bar of chocolate. Listen to obsessions, wild chocolate, on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Now the fifth step, this is a huge one. Let's just come out from a conversation I was having with a friend on the weekend. And we were talking about just how our partners are not demanding, they're not always asking for stuff. They're not high maintenance. They don't want things all the time.

But what I was, I made this point that was a real, like, game changer for me. That someone may not demand something, but that doesn't mean they don't have a need or a want. And the way I'd love to explain this in simplicity is don't confuse apathy for simplicity. Being okay isn't being happy. Being okay isn't joyful. Being okay doesn't build a bond. So your partner may be okay with not having their love language.

They may be fine. They may be neutral. But guess what? Okay, fine and neutral are not exciting. They're not passionate and they're not full of love. If you want an okay, fine and average neutral mediocre relationship, then you can continue to do nothing about what I'm saying. And you'd be like, well, my partner doesn't need anything. She what I'm saying. And you'll be like, well, my partner doesn't need anything. She or he is fine. They don't really ask for anything. They're happy. They're satisfied. They're content already. When you live that way, you're confusing their apathy for simplicity. I'll give an example. I'm fine for a weekend if we didn't do anything, but I love experiences.

So I'm fine if we stay at home on the weekend. But if we go cycling or we go for a walk on the beach, I'm happier. It's a preference. And that's the point. I'm not unhappy if we don't go, but I am happier if we do go. Notice the difference. People don't have to be unhappy for you to learn their love language. Because it's all about how much can we increase joy and increase happiness rather than how much can we decrease pain. Right? Sometimes we get so lost in our relationships

about decreasing pain or saying, oh, there is no pain, but is there joy is the question? Is there happiness is the question that you really should be asking. So I may be okay with no travel or no dinners, but I'd be happier with them. And remember, this is not about a financial ability. This is all about experiences, love, and what is possible. And the sixth and final step is things don't replace love languages, gifts, money, showing off random travel. None of this can be a substitute for deeply understanding the love language of your partner. If you think you can use any of these things as a cover-up, you're in for a tree of realizing it doesn't work.

And often we can waste time, money, and energy thinking that we can patch things up because of this incredible lifestyle we live or incredible thing that we do. And it doesn't work like that. It really doesn't work like that. Don't take these lightly. Don't underestimate the power of these love languages

and don't understand the power of these love languages. And don't underestimate the power of these six steps that I've shared today. The first one is understand yours. The second is understand theirs and help them understand theirs. Remember, it may be a process to get them there. They may not know how to unpack it. You have to be patient and support them.

Number three, don't underestimate parental impact and make sure you discuss that. Four, go deeper, don't just accept them at surface level. Number five, don't confuse being okay with being happy and joyful. And number six, don't try and substitute this with anything financial, material, or anything like that sort because it won't work.

These are the six steps on how to understand your partner's love language and improve your communication radically. I can't wait for you to start implementing these. Make sure you share what you learn from today's episode, what's gonna stay with you, what you're gonna practice and what you're gonna experiment with.

Make sure you leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. I can't, can't wait to hear your feedback on this one. I hope this one helped. I hope you appreciate it. So much love. Thank you for listening to On purpose. I'm so grateful. See you again next week. Concert Your New Year's Resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast in each bite-sized daily episode, time management and productivity expert Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age,

learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to before breakfast on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War 2? An opera singer who burned down an honorary to kidnap her lover, and a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils haven't come in. They're all real women who were left out of your history books.

You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast. Check it out on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. I'm Munga Shatekler, and it turns out astrology is way more widespread than any of us want to believe. You can find it in major league baseball,

international banks, K-pop groups, even the White House. But just when I thought I had a handle on this subject, something completely unbelievable happened to me, and my whole view on astrology changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, give me a few minutes because I think your ideas are about to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.