On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 7 Scientifically Proven Ways to Know You're in Love

Episode Date: June 3, 2022

Do you want to meditate daily with me? Go to go.calm.com/onpurpose to get 40% off a Calm Premium Membership. Experience the Daily Jay. Only on Calm Have you been truly in love? Have you loved someone so much they are always included in your plans? Have you been in a situation where you can’t wait to spend more time with the person you love? Being in love is rich, flavorful, and addictive. It changes you and how you see the world.  In this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty narrates the different signs that tell you are falling in love with someone and how to deal with your own feelings.Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/ Key Takeaways:00:00 Intro02:02 Are you falling in love?04:38 Sign #1: You start breathing in time with them10:18 Sign #2: You generally have a more optimistic view on life13:58 Sign #3: You have a similar sense of humor17:46 Sign #4: You feel you can be honest with someone22:04 Sign #5: You think about your partner when making plans24:05 Sign #6: You are no longer looking for the flirty validation from someone26:03 Sign #7: The feeling of aligned valuesLike this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season, and yet we're constantly discovering new secrets. The variety of them continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share ten incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets.

Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty, and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Louis Hamilton,

and many, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw, real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon.

What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War II? An opera singer who burned down an honorary to kidnap her lover, and a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, haven't comment. They're all real women who were left out of your history books. You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast. Check it out on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. This was a conversation that happened with someone else on the street yesterday. They were saying that they feel that when they open up to others, what they share will one day be used against them. And I thought, how sad is that? That people in this world are experiencing their intimacy turned into a weapon.

When you're putting down your shield, someone's using that as a weapon. That's really difficult. That's a really challenging place to be. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose the number one health podcast in the world thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now, I just want to start off by saying that it has been incredible to see the downloads, to see the listens just go through the roof because I know so many of you are not just listening to one episode a week. Not just listening to two episodes a know so many of you are not just listening to one episode a week.

Not just listening to two episodes a week. Most of you are listening to an episode every single day. And that truly blows my mind because it shows me that we're living in a world that is hungry to grow, hungry to improve, hungry to feel better. And I'm just blown away on a daily basis, seeing the love that you continue to show me. And I just want you to know that when I'm planning these sessions, when I'm preparing for them, I'm thinking about each and every one of you and hoping that I can share insights and practical steps to helping you in your work, your relationships and your life. And I just want to thank you. I bumped into so many of you this week.

I was in New York, speaking to strangers, speaking to some of you on the street, whoever I bumped into. And I had such a fulfilling time. And I just want to say how much I deeply appreciate meeting you. And again, I'm going to say this to you. If you see me on the streets or anywhere, please say hello because it makes my day and I will give you a massive hug if you tell me you listen to the podcast. So today I'm talking about the seven scientifically proven ways to know your falling in love. I find this subject matter so deeply fascinating because I believe that love is one of those things that we're addicted to learning more about.

So a lot of the studies show that men might experience feelings of love faster than women. Some say almost six weeks earlier, but men are also the ones to say I love you first. Even though what I find most fascinating is a lot of the times when men have said that, they also fall out of love faster as well. And so men fall into love faster, and they fall out of love faster as well. Studies show that women might say I love you more often, and women take a bit longer to fall in love

as they are predisposed to being more thoughtful about using those words and about making that decision. So what's really fascinating about love is that we see people use this word as being appropriate for many different feelings. Someone could just be deeply attracted to you and they call it love. Some people could just be admirers of you and they call it love. Some people may just be lustful after you and they call it love.

And so we've got to be really careful about the way we use the word love because the idea of love is in itself so intoxicating that we don't always think about the use of the word. So when I'm telling you today, the scientifically proven ways to know you're falling in love, we're talking about the love that I'm defining as a love that's going to last. A love that you're going to invest in. A love that you're willing to put the work into. I think for me, I know that I've met people who could fall in lust with a new person every month. Right? Literally every month, they would come to me and say, I'm really into this person. I'm really into this person. I'm really into this person, I'm really into this person. Oh yeah, no, now I'm into this person.

And if someone's looking for that quick win, that quick feeling of pleasure, then that can be a really good recipe. But for those of us that want to have long lasting, deep, fulfilling relationships with one person, these are the signs that you're falling in love with them. Some of them are going to be ones that you recognize. Some of them are gonna be ones that you recognize. Some of them are gonna be ones that surprise you. So let's get going. The first one that I wanna share with you is that,

this one, I mean, I'm sharing this one with you, but this isn't the easiest one to measure. But I know that all of you are gonna get a heart rate monitor or a status scope out after this, even with your partners, even if you're dating already. This one's brilliant. You've started breathing in time with them. How amazing is that? When you start falling in love with someone, you start breathing in time with them. So, studies show that humans start to emulate another person's body language, but also their breathing when

they're feeling a sense of connectivity. And that holds true for couples that are in love. One scientific report study of 22 long term couples found that when the two were sitting together, even when they weren't touching, their breath and heart rates naturally fell into time with each other. If one was in pain and they weren't able to touch, the connection was lost, but bringing contact back helped them sync up again. I really find this one interesting because I love when emotions, obviously, can be proven

through biology, and it's really interesting. So next time you together, put your hand on each other's heart, see if your hearts are beating at the same rate, at the same pace. If you really want to get a heart monitor out and check as well. And it's a beautiful practice to start breathing together. My wife and I often meditate together. As I've always said, Rady wakes up a little bit earlier than me, an hour earlier than me. Rady wakes up a little bit earlier than me, and she'll be meditating for an hour by the time I get up and start meditating, so maybe we'll get like half an hour to an hour together. And what I find really special about that is we feel so in sync, not just on a

values basis, from a breathing basis and perspective, and also aligned at the beginning of the day. And I know that for Rade that makes such a big difference to how she feels aligned with me when she knows we're getting that morning time together. This is one of the reasons why couples who emulate and mimic each other's routines also have healthier relationships

when couples are waking up at a similar time, when they're sleeping at a similar time. And notice how I say similar, not same, because two people are not the same. When we demand that our partner goes to sleep at the same time as us, or wakes up at the same time as us, that can be really harmful in a relationship.

That can actually be quite detrimental in a relationship because for most people, that's just not real. But a similar time is healthy when you get into bed at the same time, but maybe one of you likes to read a little bit before you go to bed. Maybe one of you likes to do a meditation on your own before you go to bed, beginning into bed at the same time, having dinner together every day. There are small routine habits that we can create with our partners when we start to synergize.

What's really interesting is that when most people start dating, they spend a lot of time together. So they feel a little on a synergy. Then when you get married or you move in or you start dating where you are living together and cohabiting, during that time, we start to see routines become very different. I had one friend who her boyfriend

would wanna play video games all night till 4 a.m. and she'd wanna sleep at 10 p.m. and wake up at 7 a.m. to get on with her day. He'd wanna get into bed at 4 a.m. and wake up at 11 a.m. Right? Because his work was more flexible. Now, I'm not saying either of them are

right or wrong but that naturally causes distance in a relationship. You may think that that's okay but it won't be sustainable. And so at one point both of you have to ask what's more important this relationship or me playing video games till 4 a.m. now I'm sure that you'll choose FIFA if you choose video games now I'm kidding. I'm sure that you'll choose, uh, Phi Phi if you choose video games, now I'm kidding. Uh, I'm hoping that you'll choose your relationship, but it's really fascinating to me that not only are your breaths aligned when your routines are aligned, when your meal times are aligned, this creates a synergy in your relationship. So I want you to think about what's the one thing you can do every day with your partner

that makes you feel connected? Is it that you have breakfast together? Is it that you have dinner together? Is it that you sleep at the same time or wake up at the same time or similar time? What is that one habit a day that you're going to do together? For me and Rady, it's definitely being having our evening tea, right? Sometimes I'm really tired from a lot of late events and I want to sleep in a little bit or sometimes she's out for dinner or meeting someone, but we found that having our evening tea together has been a really powerful routine to sink and synergize. If you want a long lasting relationship, what is your synergy habit? What is your synergy routine that you do every single day?

Now notice how I didn't mention watching a show. I'm not saying that you can't watch a show together, but you discussing the show is more important than you watching the show. So if you are going to watch an episode of your favorite show, discuss it. Take five, 10 minutes at the end of it to have a bit of a reflection about it. If you are going to watch an episode of your favorite show, discuss it. Take five, 10 minutes at the end of it to have a bit of a reflection about it. If you are going to watch a movie, conversate about it.

Maybe the next day, maybe you need time to digest, but have a moment where you're actually communicating with each other. This isn't just about physical proximity. This is about genuine synergy, right? This is not about physical proximity. It's about emotional synergy. Now, the second scientifically proven way to know that you're falling in love

is you generally have a more optimistic view on life. You've started to look at the challenges and troubles through a different lens. It's not that you're ignoring tough things, but you're able to see the good in them. You're able to learn from them. You're able to feel that you're growing as an individual and you're able to expand your world view. A study of 245 young adult couples published in the Journal of Personality found that being in a relationship made individuals less neurotic and more optimistic. If you've noticed your own attitude changing, you might be gearing up for a long, healthy

relationship. Now, I hadn't seen Riley for a bit because we were both traveling for work, and I'm going to see her in a couple of days, and I cannot be more excited. I have to share this with you. I wrote, Rade just note for when she was coming back, but she was coming back while I was away. And the note talks about how, you know, she's the heart of our home. We're fortunate enough to have a beautiful home. But when she's not in that home, it doesn't have the same light, it doesn't have the same spark, It doesn't have the same feeling. And the world seems like a more beautiful place

when Radeys in that world with me. And we've been together now for nearly 10 years. We've been married for six. The fact that I still feel that way about her makes me really happy. But think about that. Just being with your partner, make you feel like the world's a better place.

Maybe it's because you have someone to turn to. Maybe it's because you have someone to connect with. Maybe it's because you have someone to connect with. Maybe it's because you know that you can rely on having someone there to share your feelings with. I bumped into someone yesterday on the streets of New York. And he was telling me that, well, I was standing up at the sign in New York City that said, one in four people, you know, is struggling with the mental health condition. If you need to talk, I'm here for you. And so many people stopped to talk to me. And one of the general, when he stopped to talk to me,

and he wasn't aware of the podcast, the book, or anything like that, he just stopped because he needed to share his heart. And he said to me that recent he broke up. And the conversation he was having with me, a random person on the street, he didn't identify me as Jay Shetty, he just literally bumped into me on the street, saw the sign. He told me that he usually has that conversation with his ex-girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend,

and now he doesn't know who to have it with. And so you can see how the world seems like a quiet, dark or harder place because he no longer had someone to share his deep, vulnerable, open feelings with. So ask yourself, are you becoming more optimistic around this person? Are you feeling more positive because of them? Are you feeling positive about them? But more importantly, are you also feeling positive

about life? I think often we think of lovers, I love them. They are amazing. They are special, they are unique. And I think that that's wonderful, but I think over time that feeling is difficult for a lot of people to maintain, especially when we come across challenges in a relationship. But really what you're asking is,

has your world view positively changed by wing with them? Do you think you're more open? Do you think you're open to more adventure? Do you think you're open to trialing new things? Do you think you are saying yes to new opportunities? Is that coming around? Are you someone who is restricting yourself because of this person and limiting yourself?

Or are you expanding and extending yourself? So that is the second scientifically proven way to know you're falling in love. The third one is you have a similar sense of humor. Now when Radeen I got together we banter a lot. It's like British banter where you almost sound like you're cussing each other, right? It's almost like you're playing that game like your mama jokes, right, with each other. People get really uncomfortable around us sometimes. Sometimes they see us having this conversation and they're like, is your relationship okay? Are you guys okay? And we just have a very similar sense of humor where we can just dig into each other for fun and banter with each other

and we enjoy that. Now, we also like laughing at the same movies, the same jokes, the same stories. Rady does think I'm funny. Sometimes she'll say, I'm not, but overall, I believe she thinks I'm funny. Rady is hilarious, right? She, I find her ridiculously funny. And she thinks that's just because I love her, but I actually think a lot of people find her funny. And research published in evolutionary psychology

found that laughing at another person's jokes was a sign of dating interest in that person. But the best signal of romantic interest was if both people were cracking up together, laughter shows warmth, so giggling together means you're feeling a mutual connection. So it's a really good idea to go to a comedy club as one of your dates. It's a really good idea to go to a funny movie as one of your early dates to see if you

have the same sense of humor, to see if you have the same values around humor. Now I have to be honest and say that there are limits to this as well. I'm sitting in this room right now and recording with my man Paul Brazil, who's been my videographer since day one since I moved to New York. I worked with Raj in London and then when I moved to New York, I've worked with Paul for the last five years. And Paul and me have been to see comedy shows together. We've been to see funny movies together. I think we have a similar sense of humor.

He's nodding along. So I think he's agreeing. But at the same time, me and Rady have the same sense of humor. Although there are some limits, I remember taking Rady to watch a movie that she found extremely offensive, and I found extremely hilarious and could appreciate. And there is a limit to that kind of humor.

Maybe it's a bit more bro humor, a bit more dude humor, and Radeh definitely does not appreciate that. So again, this is not saying that you have to laugh at the same things all the time or agree on everything all the time, but that you have a similar sense of humor. Stress, anxiety, overwhelm, burnout. What do all of these have in common? A lack of perceived control over your time, thoughts and tasks. But what if I told you fixing all of these problems

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I'm Mungesh Chatequeur and to be honest, I don't believe in astrology, but from the moment I was born, it's been a part of my life. In India, it's like smoking. You might not smoke, but you're going to get secondhand astrology. And lately, I've been wondering if the universe has been trying to tell me to stop running and pay attention. Because maybe there is magic in the stars if you're willing to look for it.

So I rounded up some friends and we dove in and let me tell you, it got weird fast. Tantric curses, major league baseball teams, canceled marriages, K-pop! But just what I thought I had to handle on this sweet and curious show about astrology, my whole world can crash down. Situation doesn't look good, there is risk to father. And my whole view on astrology? It changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer,

I think your ideas are going to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive in the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Out 20s are seen as this golden decade. Out time to be carefree, full in love, make mistakes, and decide what we want from our life. But what can psychology really teach us about this decade? I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the Psychology of your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, friendships, and much more, to explore the science and the psychology behind our experiences,

incredible guests, fascinating topics, important science, and a bit of my own personal experience. Audrey, I honestly have no idea what's going on with my life. Join me as we explore what our 20s are really all about, from the good, the bad, and the ugly, and listen along as we uncover how everything is psychology, including our 20s. The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Now streaming on the iHotRadio app, Apple podcasts, or whatever you get your podcasts. I am Mianna and on my podcast, the R-Spot, we're having inspirational, educational, and sometimes difficult and challenging conversations about relationships. They may not have the capacity to give you what you need and insisting means that you are abusing yourself now. You human! That means that you're crazy as hell, just like the rest of us. When a relationship breaks down,

I take copious notes and I want to share them with you. Anybody with two eyes and a brain knows that too much Alfredo sauce is just no good for you. But if you're going to eat it, they're not going to stop you. So he's going to continue to give you the Alfredo sauce and put it even on your grits if you don't stop him. Listen to the art spot on the iHeart video app Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts.

The next scientifically proven way to know you're falling in love is that you feel like you'll be honest with someone like there's no more secret keeping. And it says that intimacy is the biggest factor that sets love apart from the attraction you feel in the early days of dating says, Maricity Cohen, PhD, co-founder of the relationship lab. And she says that intimacy involves self-disclosure. So if you feel like you can share your secrets with someone, if you feel like you can be honest with someone, if you feel like you can share your secrets with someone, if you feel like you can be honest with someone, if you feel like you can be transparent with someone, chances are that there's a sign that there's love.

Now this isn't about are you transparent, are you an open book? This is do you feel like you can actually share something with them? And the reason why we don't share things with other people is because we're scared they are going to be used against us. This was a conversation that happened with someone else on the street yesterday. They were saying that they feel that when they open up to others, what they share will one day be used against them. And I thought, how sad is that?

Like how heartbreaking is that? That people in this world are experiencing their intimacy turned into a weapon. Imagine your secrets are being turned into weapons, your emotional outpouring is being turned into a weapon against you. When you're putting down your shield, someone's using that as a weapon, that's really difficult. That's a really challenging place to be. Now, you may say, well, Jay, how do you know? How do you know? Sometimes you feel like you want to be open and honest with someone. Sometimes you want to open your heart to someone. Sometimes you do trust them, but you never know if they're going to use it as a weapon.

That's where you want to wait. Just because you feel like telling someone the truth, doesn't mean you're in love. What true love is when you share your truth, that person honors that truth. They don't use it against you in a fight, they don't manipulate you with it. They don't use it as a form of control or a method of bargaining or negotiating it. It's used to support you.

It's used to help you. It's used to propel you forward and uplift you. And so you don't feel like you need to keep secrets, but really how they respond to that secret is the sign of love or not. You may be in love because you wanna share it, but whether they're in love with you or not is based on how they respond.

I often say to people that sometimes when you start dating and someone tells you something really open and honest like Maybe they opened up to you and they say hey, I have a porn addiction Or maybe they open up to you and say hey, I used to be an alcoholic or maybe they open up to you and say I'm really struggling with X Y Z or Z as I would say a lot of the times that can be quite alarming and we can be quite taken back in court of God because we didn't want to know that about them. We almost don't want it to be true. And so we actually retaliate, we actually reflect poorly on them because we're like, why didn't want to know that about you? So you can't be that. I don't want you to be that. And we're actually upset by it. But actually the fact that they've disclosed that with you is an incredible sign of openness,

is an incredible sign of genuineness. Now, I'm not thinking of to stay with that person or you have to respect the challenge that they have or help them through it, but don't write someone off because they are honest with you. Don't write someone off because they're honest with you and you don't like their honesty because I think a lot of us are like, I wish I was with someone honest, I wish I was with someone transparent, but then when someone is honest or transparent,

we're uncomfortable with their honesty and transparency. So if someone is honest and transparent with you, even if you're not comfortable with it, thank them and acknowledge them for doing that because if you react poorly, they're then going to be scared to share that with someone else. So if you react badly to their honesty, they may never feel comfortable to be honest with someone else because they'll think every time they're honest with someone, they scare someone away.

That's one of the first reasons why we all stop blocking ourselves and boundarying up ourselves from actually telling people how we truly feel is because we're scared. It's gonna scare them away so Being honest and transparent. All right the next scientifically proven way to know you're falling in love is When you're making plans you think about your partner you include them When instead of saying I think this you're starting we believe or we think or we started doing this, right? You're not just thinking about what you want and what you need to do, you're thinking about what you both need.

And I remember feeling this way with Ravi when I started to recognize that I wasn't an eye anymore. I was a we, I wasn't a me, I was an us. And I started to recognize that my decisions affected both of us. And when I realized that my decisions now affected both of us, they didn't change my decisions, but they changed how I communicated with them. And I think that's where people go wrong. People think that when you become a we or an us instead of an I and a me, you now have to change your decisions.

I would say I didn't change my decisions, but I changed how I communicated and directed those decisions. So, if I got a work trip or I had to travel, it's not that I was going to say no to that trip, I would make rather aware in advance that, hey, I've got this opportunity. This is why I really want to take it. I think it would be really great for us if I go and do this, right? And I want you to know so that you can plan something or do whatever you want that weekend when I'll be traveling for work.

So notice how you're not just saying, okay, this is right for me, so I'm going to do it. Or, oh, my wife's going to be upset with me if I'm there, so I'm going to cancel it. It's no, I'm going to communicate why I think this is good for us, why it's helpful to us. Maybe we want to invest a bit more in this area this year. It's no, I'm going to communicate why I think this is good for us, why it's helpful to us. Maybe we want to invest a bit more in this area this year. Maybe we want to travel this year a bit more and I need to go and do a bit of extra work for that. Whatever it may be, right?

So you include your partner when you're making decisions and you will have that conversation with them. Again, it's not stopping yourself from making the decision that you want. It's actually including them as part of that conversation. The next scientific proven way to know you're falling in love is you are now no longer looking for that flirty validation from someone else, right? It's so easy to keep fishing for compliments, to keep fishing, for people to be attracted to you, for keep fishing for that validation. And a lot of us enjoy it, a lot of us enjoy that, we enjoy the casual flirt, we enjoy the attraction of other people.

Now, I'm not saying you don't feel appreciated when someone says, hey, you look good today, although it looks good on you, that's awesome, right? Well, that's great. I'm. Now I'm not saying you don't feel appreciated when someone says, hey, you look good today or that looks good on you. That's awesome. Right? Well, that's great. I'm not, I'm not criticizing that. I'm just saying that you're no longer now trying to impress people. You're no longer trying to get them to say those things, whereas when you start dating someone, you want to impress them, right? That's normal. But now you're not trying to use that same place. In other places, because you feel a sense of validation from the person you're not trying to use that same place in other places because you feel a sense of validation from the person you're with. Evidence from FMRIZ shows that when people who are in love see a photo of their lover,

the parts of the brain associated with reward and motivation light up according to the research published in the Journal of Comparative Neurology. That's a separate part of the brain from what's associated with sex drive. The findings led researchers to the conclusion that when someone is in love, their brain is programmed to focus solely on that person and to put other potential lovers on hold. So just think about that for a second, right?

The part that's associated with sex drive, that's that casual flirt, that's that impressing people, that's that validation, that you may feel consistently, but love is when you're like, well, I don't wanna feel that with someone else anymore. And I may feel that with someone else as well today, I may feel attraction, I may feel lust, but I don't wanna feel that with them.

I may feel it, but I don't want to. I'm not choosing to feel that with this person, I'm not choosing to act on it. Right? The last one I want to share with you is ultimately the biggest one. There's a feeling of aligned values. There's a feeling of aligned values. Now, this doesn't mean that you have the same values. It doesn't mean that you agree on each other's values means that you respect each other's values. I think we've wasted a lot of time trying to say, have to have the same values as the person I'm with. Obviously, that's amazing, but that's rare. You can have aligned values. A lot of people break up because they say, we don't want the same things

or we're not the same people. And actually, you're gonna be struggling really hard to find someone who's the same. Chances are you're more likely to date someone who's very different to you than you are someone who's the same as you. And the thing you're really looking for is, do I like these differences enough to understand and grow with this person,

or do I not like these differences? It's not about are we more similar, or are we more dissimilar? It's do I like the differences? We have things in common and do I like the things in common and do I like the things that are different? Rather than going, okay, no, if we have things in common, then we're for each other and if we don't,

then we're not for each other. It's no, do I like the things we have in common and can I approach the things we don't have in common in an effective and healthy way? So these are the seven scientifically proven ways to know you're falling in love. I hope you test them with your partners. Hope you test them with someone you're dating. And I hope you think about also when you were wrong about love or when you didn't find love

or maybe when you said it or someone said it and it didn't turn out to be that way, which was a sign that you were missing. Thank you so much for joining me today. I hope you'll pass this on to someone who may need it on a thank you for listening today. And just try and apply one of the principles from today. That's all just one and watch how your life changes. I just wanna read a few reviews.

This is from Brianna P. Hello, Jay. I absolutely love listening to you and the way you communicate to us listeners and those whom you have relationships with that are interviewed. I wanted to start listening a podcast and I've always struggled with mental health. I saw the last bit of you on the Ellen Show recently, which is where I heard of this podcast. So I started with listening to you. While I have my other self-healing remedies, your podcasts are so inspirational and I've made a daily ritual because listening to you has positively impacted me so much. I'm

so grateful that I get to have the opportunity to listen to all you have to say. You truly make an impact on people in the world. I love the interview you had with Lily Singh and can't wait to start reading Be a Triangle. Just got it at Target. Once again, thank you for being part of my support system, Brianna P. Brianna. Thank you for that wonderful review, and I just wanna give a big shout out. We're now at over 18,000 reviews. Our goal for 2022 is 20,000 reviews.

So we got 2,000 to go. Keep them coming. Thanks for listening to On Purpose. I'll see you soon. host of the podcast, it's okay that you're not okay. Look, everyone's at least a little bit not okay these days and all those things we don't usually talk about. Maybe we should. This season, I'm joined by stellar guests like Abbermote, Rachel Cargol, and so many more. It's okay that you're not okay. New episodes each and every Monday, available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. The therapy for Black Girls podcast is your space to explore mental health,

personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care. Hey, it's Debbie Brown, host of the Deeply Well podcast, where we hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your well-being journey. Deeply well is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal,

to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is available now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. Namaste. app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Namaste.