On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 8 Reasons Why Traveling Alone is the Ultimate Path to Self-Discovery & Why You Should Take a Solo Trip
Episode Date: September 13, 2024Have you ever thought about taking a solo trip? What do you think you'd learn about yourself if you traveled alone? Today, Jay unpacks the unexpected benefits of solo travel. Whether you’re an avid ...traveler or someone hesitant to step out of your comfort zone, traveling alone, even just once, can be one of the most powerful experiences of your life. Jay explains how solo travel helps break free from the “herd mentality”—when we defer to the preferences of those around us—and instead allows us to deeply understand our own desires and needs. You’ll learn how traveling alone can expand your worldview, teach self-reliance, and push you to explore not just new places but new aspects of yourself. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Expand Your Worldview How to Boost Self-Reliance How to Connect with New People and Cultures How to Build Confidence Through Solo Travel Whether you're seeking new perspectives or personal growth, traveling alone can be a powerful tool to reconnect with your true self. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:48 Do You Need to Go on a Solo Trip? 04:50 #1: Learn More About Yourself 11:10 #2: Improve Your Confidence 13:43 #3: Expand Your Worldview 16:53 #4: Develop Self-Reliance 19:49 #5: Master Your Mind 21:54 #6: Beat Boredom and Distraction 23:09 #7: Vigilance 24:55 #8: Get to Know Diverse PeopleSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come to listen, learn and grow. I'm
so grateful that you're back here with me and today's episode is all about why you need to take a solo trip at
least once in your life. Now before you turn away because you're too scared
before you're like Jay I don't want this I don't want to go there hear me out. I'm
sure you've heard about your friends doing it maybe a family member do it
maybe your kids said to you that they want to do it. Solo trips are becoming
more and more normalized they're becoming more and more normalized.
They're becoming more and more prevalent.
They're more and more in demand.
So much so that Forbes actually made a list of the 10 most popular
solo travel destinations for 2024.
And the report went on to mention everything from Japan, Argentina,
Colombia, Sri Lanka, Ecuador. You've got Jordan
on that list, Thailand, Philippines, Bali and maybe one more as well. But what's incredible about
that list is that it's showing that there's this newfound interest in traveling alone.
And I know what some of you are thinking,
Jay, traveling is always better when you're with other people.
Traveling is always more fun when you're with family or friends
or whatever it might be.
But hey, I think that we're all feeling like we don't always have enough time.
A lot of us are feeling we don't have enough time alone.
A lot of us can't get schedules to match.
Or maybe you've just gone through a breakup recently.
Maybe you've gone through a life event, whether it's you're taking a sabbatical.
Maybe you've been working for too long or you want to get this in just before you
start working and you're the only one of your friends who actually has that time
and energy and intention to want to do it.
Maybe you're curious to what it might be like.
Well today I want to give you some of the reasons maybe to reaffirm your curiosity or if you've
never considered it at all to maybe think about why it can be really powerful for you and useful
for you as well. And so I'm really excited that you're here with me and that you're taking a chance on this because I do believe that travel is one of the
greatest gifts that we've ever been given.
And the fact that today it's become simpler and easier than ever before is
truly an amazing blessing that we all have in our lives.
And I wanted to share one of my favorite quotes about travel that inspires this
desire that we all have.
And it's this one.
It comes from Lisa Ling, where she said, the best education I've ever received
was through travel.
I love that quote because I realized that there are so many ways to learn today, so
many ways to grow.
But travel definitely is one of the most special ways.
So let's dive in to the reasons I think you should take a solo trip.
Some of my experiences and also some of the best lessons I've learned along the way.
Now, today there's a lot of talk about self-awareness. There's the need to understand who you are and I
think solo travel is by far the number one way to learn about yourself. You get
to know yourself the quickest, fastest, most accelerated way when you choose to
travel alone.
Now, when you're traveling with others, you might be used to doing what everyone else does
or going along with what everyone else chooses.
Someone else chooses the dinner spot, someone else chooses the bar,
someone else chooses today's adventure, today's activity
and you might have for a long time gone along with what's known
as the bandwagon effect or as we call it herd mentality. The idea that if enough
people want to do on the trip you're happy to go along. Now there's nothing
wrong with that you can have some beautiful experiences because of it and
I've definitely had some of those but I've also realized that it's so rare for
us to know what we actually want to do.
And one of the reasons we're indecisive, one of the reasons why we struggle to make choices
is because often we've just avoided it for a long period of our life.
Maybe we've never been asked, maybe when we were asked we just deferred to someone else
and maybe it's been so long that we've actually disconnected from who we
are, what we want and what's meaningful to us. I mean think about it for a second if someone said
to you you could do anything you wanted on vacation, you could go anywhere you wanted,
what would you choose? Would you choose a city break or are you sure you'd want a beach? Now
would you want an active day at the beach or would you want a sightseeing day
at the city? Or are you actually looking for a city break with a bit of history
and art or actually are you looking for food and tourism?
I think as we get older, we get a sense of this.
But when you're on your own, you get really close and connected to what it is
that stands out to you. I
know that when I've traveled on my own it's given me a sense of how for so many
years I might even have thought I liked what other people liked. I actually had
this experience recently where me and a friend were traveling somewhere actually
and their friend had already been to that place.
Their friend was on the call with my friend and they were talking to each other and the
other friend was saying, I can't believe you're not doing anything. I can't believe you're
not going to see any of the sites. I can't believe that you haven't rented a car. I can't
believe that you're not going to go to this landmark or whatever else it may be and I could see that it was really getting under my friend's skin
and my friend even mentioned to me like
Jay are we not gonna rent a car? Are we not gonna do this? Are we not gonna do that?
and I could tell that they felt kind of uncomfortable and insecure
now this time I didn't know where that was coming from so I asked them where's this coming from and they said
oh no nothing and I said no no no like it feels like it's important to you I'd love to know I didn't know where that was coming from. So I asked them, where's this coming from? And they said, oh, no, nothing.
And I said, no, no, no.
Like it feels like it's important to you.
I'd love to know.
And they were like, oh,
where I was talking to a friend who was here
a couple of months back,
and they made me feel like I was missing out.
And I said, well, let's take a look at what they recommended.
And so there were a couple of sites
and we mapped it from where we were staying.
And it was about one and a half hour car journey either way.
And so I said to my friend, I said, is that what you want to do?
Do you want to take a one and a half hour journey either way to see the site?
Because we can definitely rent a car and do that if that's important to you.
But I want to know if it's important to you.
And I saw this look on my friend's face where they were reflecting.
And then they said to me, they said, Jay, actually I don't want to do that, we're in paradise,
why are we going to spend three hours in a car?
And it was really interesting to me where just a few moments ago
that fear of missing out, that insecurity of I'm not doing enough,
that feeling of, oh my gosh, they had all these amazing experiences,
am I wasting time, did I get it wrong, am I all these amazing experiences. Am I wasting time?
Did I get it wrong?
Am I going to leave here feeling like I didn't make the most of it?
We're creeping in.
And so much of that happened, so much of that occurs
because we haven't got to know ourselves.
We're not really clear on what's important to us.
And so when someone else tells us what's important to them,
we import what's important to us. And so when someone else tells us what's important to them, we import what's important to others
into our own likes and dislikes.
Right. We literally extract and adopt what they find
valuable to be valuable to us.
When you travel alone, you give yourself the opportunity,
you give yourself the space, you give yourself the space, you give yourself the time
to recognize what's important to you, what's meaningful to you,
what's valuable to you, what's real to you.
And that's one of the reasons why I love working with Booking.com,
because they have this filter
where it's easy to narrow down your search
to find the perfect match for your preferences.
And what's really amazing is that they have this new AI powered trip planner,
which offers personalized recommendations to help you get exactly what you need.
And that might even be a great way for you to discover what you might want.
And when you're doing this, here's a tip that a great way for you to discover what you might want.
And when you're doing this, here's a tip that I'd love for you to practice.
And it may feel weird at first, but give it a go.
When you're thinking about what you want, don't try and make a choice.
Just sit with it for a second and see how both experiences feel in your body
at this time. So let's say you're trying to choose between a city break or a beach break.
Just sit with that for a second and see how thinking about a city break feels in your
body and see how thinking about a beach break feels in your body. What I love about this
approach is that not only are you becoming more self-aware, you're actually gaining the
ability to tune in to what you need.
And what I'm trying to say here is that
we often kind of
label ourselves as beach people,
city people, country people,
whatever else it may be.
And the truth is your body and mind
may need something different right now.
This is a great check-in system.
I'd love for you to try it out.
Number two.
This is probably one of the favourite things I've learned about travelling alone. I travel alone fairly often,
both for work and for pleasure. And I've found that it deeply grows your confidence. You
know what it feels like to be in a random airport, which you've never been to, probably
one of the smallest, maybe one of the biggest airports you've ever been to and navigate it.
I remember years ago, I'd gone to a retreat in Europe, a meditation retreat, and I was on my way back.
And I was coming back before everyone else because I had to get to a different commitment,
whatever it may have been at the time.
And I remember that I got late to the airport.
I missed my flight.
And at the time, I didn't have a lot of money,
so I didn't really have enough money to book the next flight.
I remember waiting at the airport for nearly
might have been like 12 to 18 hours overnight in an airport
that I didn't feel fully comfortable in and didn't know anyone in
and didn't know how to get by, didn't have enough money to
book my next flight and I got very, very lucky that I got to come home because
the airline was very kind.
And it really built my confidence.
Now, first of all, it taught me never to come late to an airport ever again.
So now I'm that person who turns up to every flight three hours early
and it drives my wife crazy
because she wants to have that adrenaline feeling
of running onto the plane.
Whoever you are, you're all weirdos, right?
Like, people who want to run onto the plane.
I never want to be late again.
I know what it feels like to sleep there
without knowing what's going to happen
and figuring it out.
I don't want to be in that position again.
And I find that travelling alone really builds your confidence.
You choose your hotel, you book your hotel, you plan an itinerary,
you develop so many skills in the process.
And I know you're saying that sounds basic.
Well, it doesn't. When you travel alone, you have to have the skill
of mapping out your day, mapping out your journey.
You're learning to trust yourself.
You're learning to build the skills and habits you need
to function in the real world and I found
So many people that I've recommended solo travel to they come back and they say I feel so much more confident. I feel so much more
self assured in my abilities and my skills and
One thing I found is that your confidence also grows because you're
getting to talk to people from different backgrounds, different walks of life.
You have to navigate things not working out.
And I'll get back to that in a second.
Reason number three and lesson number three is it truly expands your worldview.
I find that often we can live in such a cocoon and it's easy when
you travel to notice different sceneries, it's easy to notice different
architecture, it's easy to notice different, you know, like the obvious
things of whether there's a Starbucks there or not. But really what travel
does is it shows you what a society, what a community, what a town values.
It shows you what a place believes in.
The way I'd like to think about this is think about what's at the center of a town.
When you travel to certain cities, certain towns, certain countries, focus on what's at the center of it.
It gives you an idea of the values of that place.
It gives you an idea of the essence of that place.
Think about what the tallest tourist attraction is there.
What's the highest building monument?
What is it? It tells you a bit about what that city sees as powerful
and as an important thing in that city. So think
about what's at the center, think about what's highest and think about what the country represents
in terms of figuring out what's the biggest festival that happens there. You learn so much
about a city or a town or a country by the festivities. And ultimately you learn the most by speaking to the people there,
which I'll get on to in a second as well.
And so I really feel that there are certain methods
and those being my favorite ones.
What's at the center of a city?
What's the highest monument building part of a city?
What is that?
And how do they preserve nature?
That's the third thing.
How do they look after nature in that place?
What does the nature say about that city, that town?
And of course, if you're in the countryside,
what experience do you get of nature?
What are the festivals?
What are the key events that that city,
town or country hosts?
This gives you a real sense of what that place is all about.
And often we can miss it. We can just kind of get caught in, you know, going out to a restaurant,
hitting a tourist attraction and not really getting to the essence, the roots of what defines that
country. But it's a really beautiful, simple exercise to give that a go. And, you know,
traveling pushes you to adapt and grow in ways you might not expect. And one of the things I love about Booking.com is that you can book the experiences
that let you experience and explore different sides of yourself and the place.
So whether you want to relax or venture into a new territory,
Booking.com helps you plan for whoever you want to be on your trip.
And I think that's a really important part of this idea
of expanding your worldview.
Are you trying to expand it historically, culturally,
socially, food-wise, language-wise?
It's a beautiful way to think about travel.
It took me years to think about travel in that way.
I used to think about travel as I've been there
and I've been there, done that.
And then I started to realize
what a not great way to travel that was.
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Number four comes from the confidence piece, but an important one nevertheless, self-reliance
and problem solving. This one's probably my favorite.
I'm sure if you ever tried traveling on your own or even with a small group of
friends, you're bound to encounter some challenges.
Now, this is not including safety challenges.
And, you know, I want to make sure that you're traveling safely.
I want to make sure that you're traveling, you know, in a place and in a way that
is protecting you from any harm.
But what I mean is you may have to problem solve.
You may have a flight get cancelled.
You may need to jump on a train.
You may need to learn how to use the local system.
I remember some really horrifying experiences as a kid
where I saw my parents problem solving
and actually watching them problem solve
gave me a sense of self-reliance
in seeing how they navigated very difficult
things.
I remember once in a city we didn't know how to take their subway system and my parents
maybe didn't get something stamped or whatever it was.
And I remember like being separated from my parents and being held in a separate room
and I could see my parents being shouted at and they took our passports and it was a really uncomfortable nerve-wracking experience
for my parents and for me and my sister who were very young at the time and that
isn't an experience I'd want anyone to have but watching my parents problem
solve even I mean back in the day I used to see my parents pull out a map and
navigate it or ask for help and I think all of those skills are really powerful in today's world where, of course,
we become reliant on Google Maps.
We don't need to ask for directions anymore.
We don't need to learn how to read a map.
But I think there are a lot of other aspects that you grow in when you travel alone of
self-reliance and problem solving.
And I think that a lot of us today are looking for that.
We've become so over reliant and
dependent on others.
We crowdsource everything from
what outfit should I wear tonight
all the way through to is this job
right for me?
Or do you think I'm going to get
picked? Right. We crowdsource
everything.
When you travel alone, you get the
opportunity to problem solve and be reliant on
yourself. And one way to keep things stress free is by booking with booking.com because what I've
loved is that they offer 24 seven customer service and helpful guides so you can follow your itinerary
with ease, no matter how complex it gets. So you can actually take the stress out of travel by planning ahead.
So you can focus on the experience and take care of yourself
throughout the journey.
And I think that's a really important touch and a part of travel,
especially when you're learning to travel alone.
And sometimes we we underestimate these things when we're
traveling with friends.
You know, you always kind of figure it out with friends.
But, you know, when you're on your own, there's there's a deep sense of self-reliance
and problem solving that that gets filled.
Now, number five is mastering
your mind. So this is the one I wanted to get
to, because I know a lot of you will be
thinking right now, I have no idea
how I do this and I
don't want to lie to you and tell you it's
easier. I'm not going to just say to you, yeah, get on with it. I actually empathize with it. We're living at a time
where we're so used to being surrounded by people. We're so used to having noise and
clutter in our mind, in our space, wherever we are. And I feel traveling alone actually
helps you master your mind. The first few days it's uncomfortable, the noise and the chatter,
oh my gosh I'm bored, oh my gosh why did I do this,
why did I come here on my own, what am I doing to myself,
what is this, this is not right, I'm scared, I'm fearful, I'm insecure,
whatever it is, right? You're gonna hear all of that.
And day two will get a little quieter.
And day three it will get a little quieter.
You're actually learning to master the mind,
to still the mind, to experience the mind
in its most extreme sense of fear
and then allowing it to dissipate,
noticing that you have the ability to calm
and still your mind when you travel alone.
Yes, there will be anxiety.
Yes, it will be uncomfortable. Yes, it will be uncomfortable.
Yes, it is taking you out of your comfort zone for sure.
It's doing all of that.
Right. It's doing all of that.
But it's it's also just giving you space to say, I can actually acknowledge the
voice in my head.
I don't have to listen to it.
I don't have to follow it.
I don't have to be totally set off course for it. have to listen to it. I don't have to follow it. I don't have to be totally
set off course for it. I can listen to it. I can hear it. And then I can choose what
I want to do with it. Letting your mind slowly get quieter really allows you to build mindfulness.
It really allows you to build that sense of I don't always have to listen to the voice in my head I don't always have to follow the loudest shout in my mind I can learn to
allow it to come and go and then listen to what remains. Number six you really
challenge yourself to beat boredom and distractions I'm sure you have a long
list of podcasts you want to listen to a long list of books I'm taking a three-day solo trip this week
And I am so excited because there are so many books that have been sitting on my desk in my bag
And I really haven't managed to open up and I am so looking forward to diving deep and I know that in three days
I can do some serious damage onto my reading list and I know just being present with that is gonna be so powerful for me. Now I'm obviously reading a lot of growth, a lot of personal
development, nonfiction but even if you've been waiting to escape into a book
I feel like when you solo travel you get to almost feel like you're a part of
that story, you get to feel like you're a part of that experience and so
challenge yourself to beat boredom, to beat distractions, to always be on your phone.
When you're in another country, another space, another environment,
another energy, another city or town, you don't have to travel to another country.
It's incredible what you can achieve in terms of productivity, creativity.
And just being able to disconnect from what you're used to, disconnect from what you're usually surrounded by.
It's super powerful.
Number seven is vigilance.
I think this is a really powerful trait and I think some of us have it,
some of us don't and a lot of us need to develop it.
What I mean by this is can you read a room?
I find that when you're surrounded by people you're used to being surrounded by, us don't and a lot of us need to develop it. What I mean by this is can you read a room?
I find that when you're surrounded by people you're used to being surrounded by,
you're no longer reading the room, you're predicting the room.
Right? It's like Google where it's predicting your search.
It's not reading it in the sense of it's not feeling it, it's not experiencing it. You are, but you're predicting it.
You know how your dad's going to behave.
You know how your friend behaves in a certain situation.
What happens with that is we lose our ability to be hypervigilant.
Now, when you're in new surroundings, in new spaces,
you're actually just getting a sense of the temperaments of the people.
You're getting a sense of the energy in the space.
You're actually heightening your ability to tune in to your intuition,
the energy around you and how you feel about it.
Now, you may say, Jay, that sounds like anxiety to me.
It can be anxiety inducing,
but it can also be a really powerful skill if seen in that way.
You're learning how to navigate
conversations with different people from different backgrounds.
You're learning how to navigate a conversation
with someone in a different language.
You're learning to be vigilant in certain spaces.
I remember getting lost in a town I was in a couple of, a few years back now.
And I wanted to find a way out and I had to be extra vigilant about my surroundings to make sure I felt safe.
And so I think you take safety more seriously and you can bring that back into your life.
And I use the word vigilance because it's almost like you're good at reading your surroundings
You're good at knowing what's in your periphery, which sometimes we switch off when we haven't been to a new place for a long time. I
Think that number eight is obvious, but it's important for me to say getting to know diverse people potential friends for life
I think when you travel, especially on your own, there's a certain feeling that you want
to get to know people.
Now, of course, you want to be safe about this, but you start learning how many amazing
people there are in the world, what kind of beautiful backgrounds there are in the world,
the amount of trust we can build with other humans who are walking a different path and
a different background from us.
I encourage you to find people in places of similar value, service-based projects,
people who are involved in a particular sport that you love abroad.
I think it's a wonderful way to connect with potential friends for life.
And this one's one of my favorites.
When you travel alone, there's no stimulation
and no one else to worry about.
A lot of the time when we're traveling,
one of the most anxiety inducing things is making sure everyone's happy.
Has everyone eaten?
Is everyone happy with how it's going?
Is everyone having a good time?
Are they having a good time?
Oh, no, they're not having a good time.
Are we having a good time?
I'm not having a good time.
Cliques develop, whatever it may be. You get to truly recharge.
You get to truly focus on yourself. You get to give yourself the attention and the patience
and the time that you deserve that you often don't give to yourself. I really hope this inspires you
to take a solo journey. I hope you also tell me where you went and what you learned.
That's what I'd love to know.
If you're listening to this right now
and you're feeling inspired and you feel called
to go somewhere, tag me in a story, share it on TikTok.
Let me know where you're going
because I'm very, very excited for you.
Thank you so much for listening.
I'm always rooting for you and forever in your corner.
And I'm so glad I got to spend this time with you.
I'm always traveling for work, whether it's for a podcast recording,
a shoot or a speaking engagement.
But what I love most about traveling is that it allows me to discover new sides of myself.
Whether I'm trying new foods, meeting new people or stepping into different cultures,
each trip helps me grow and learn in ways I didn't expect.
That's why I always use Booking.com.
They make it easy to not only find the perfect place to stay,
but also to explore new environments and discover parts of myself I hadn't tapped into before.
With their AI-powered trip planner,
I get personalized recommendations that make every trip feel fresh
and the verified reviews give me confidence that I'm always choosing the right spot. Today I want to use this time we have together to share my favourite lessons
from travelling and why it might just be time for you to go on a solo trip. I can't wait.
Let's go on this journey together. To plan and travel with confidence, use Booking.com
to find your next destination. It's the perfect place to book any kind of trip to get the most out of travel.
Go to booking.com now to book your next trip.
That's booking.com, booking.yeah.
If you love this podcast,
you'll love my episode with Lewis Hamilton.
Lewis and I talk about why you should stop chasing
society's definition of success
and how to be more intentional with your goals.
You don't want to miss it.
Like it's not about being perfect.
It's about just every day, one step at a time, trying to be better, trying to do more.
I'm learning a lot about myself.
I have to break myself down in order to be able to be better.
You don't put those inside of you, do you?
This is a show about women.
I mean, you do?
Yes.
Finally, a show about women that isn't just a thinly veiled
aspirational nightmare.
It's not hosted, not narrated.
We're just dropping into a woman's world.
I found out when my dad was gay when I was 10,
we were in a convertible on the 405 freeway,
listening to the B-52s.
Looking back, I should have said, this is gay.
This is already all gay.
Listen to, Finally a Show on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey everybody, welcome to Across Generations
where the voices of black women unite.
I'm your host, Tiffany Cross.
Tiffany Cross.
Join me and be a part of sisterhood, friendship,
wisdom, and laughter.
We gather a seasoned elder, myself as the middle generation,
and a vibrant young soul for engaging
intergenerational conversations,
prepared to engage or hear perspectives
that literally no one else has had.
Listen to Across Generations podcast
on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you get your podcast.
For all the parents out there, picture that it's bedtime.
You and the kids have been busy all day.
You know they're tired, but for some reason,
they just won't go to sleep.
And for this reason, I created the podcast,
Bedtime History.
Bedtime History is a series of relaxing history stories
that end with an inspirational message.
With over 2,000 positive parent reviews, Bedtime History is one of the top education podcasts.
Join me and listen to Bedtime History every Monday and Thursday on iHeart Radio app, Apple
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.