On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 9 Biases That Trick Us Into Making Bad Decisions & How To Overcome Them

Episode Date: June 5, 2020

So far, the year 2020 has been earmarked with uncertainty. Despite the rocky start, Jay Shetty is convinced that transformation still awaits those who are committed to looking within, acknowledging their weaknesses, and embracing change. Today Jay gives an honest look at bias and the role it plays in life and decisions. You'll learn practical, actionable steps for breaking biases and moving forward with love and intentionality. No more making decisions you regret. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When my daughter ran off to hop trains, I was terrified I'd never see her again, so I followed her into the train yard. This is what it sounds like inside the box-top. And into the city of the rails, there I found a surprising world, so brutal and beautiful that it changed me. But the rails do that to everyone. There is another world out there, and if you want to play with the devil, you're going to find them there in the rail yard. Undenail Morton. Come with me to find out what waits for us and the city of the rails.

Listen to the city of the rails on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Or, cityoftherails.com. The world of chocolate has been turned upside down. A very unusual situation. You saw the stacks of cash in her office. Chocolate comes from the cacao tree, and recently, Varietta's cacao, thought to have been lost centuries ago, were rediscovered in the Amazon.

There is no chocolate on Earth like this. Now some chocolate makers are racing deep into the jungle to find the next game-changing chocolate, and I'm coming along. Okay, that was a very large crack it up. Listen to the obsessions of wild chocolate. On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The one you feed explores how to build a fulfilling life admits the challenges we face. We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear

through guidance on emotional resilience, transformational habits and personal growth. I'm your host Eric Zimmer and I speak with experts ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers offering powerful lessons to apply daily. Create the life you want now. Listen to the one you feed on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose the place where we listen, learn and grow together every single week. Now I just want to take a breath for a moment because 2020 has been a truly, 2020 has been a truly, truly transformative year. It's been an incredibly transformative year. And I say the word transformative because I feel that a lot of the language we use

to define 2020 right now is obviously and naturally so validated, so negative. It's fear based. It's based on things going wrong, plans falling apart. Of course, the loss of things, events, but most importantly, the loss of people, right? The loss of humans, the loss of friends or family members. And I want to go in on this podcast and speak about each of these elements in more depth and with more specificity. But it truly has been a transformative year. And it's funny. When you heard that year, 2020, you always knew it was going to be a big year. But I think we all thought it was

going to be a big year in a really powerful and good and positive way. And then what we're seeing feels the opposite. And so we all go, well, when's this year going to end? When's it's going to be back to normal? When's things going to be back to the same? But see, here's the thing. is the thing. In January 2020, Kobe's loss made us question time. Right. When Kobe Brian passed away, I remembered it felt like the whole world just stopped and the love, the honor, the focus on Kobe Bryant and his children and his wife and their family and the loss to the storytelling industry, the athlete industry and even more so to his actual family and friends. And of course, we know Kobe Bryant was a guest on purpose as well.

So someone that we deeply valued as part of our community, who gave me an opportunity to sit with him and speak about the power of storytelling and how we could transform the lives of young people through sports storytelling. But in January 2020, Kobe's loss made us question time. It felt untimely. It felt like it was too soon. It started making us question how we use our time. What retirement may mean to people, what honoring people while they're alive may mean to people, right? There was so much reflection, I believe, in the world around how to show love to those we love, how to not devalue time, how to not devalue connection, how to recognize that the future is not promised to any of us, which is such a hard thing to swallow. But in 2020, January 2020, Kobe's lost made us question time.

It made us question time. And I promised you stick with me. There's a reason why I'm bringing all this up. And right now, it may already start feeling discomfort with the memories and the thoughts and everything you can visualize right now. But I want you to sit with this for a moment because I promise you, there's a reason why I'm taking you here. And we have to address these things and not just shove them under the carpet, we have to give them the attention they deserve. Now in March 2020, we had a few losses in February 2020

and across the world, but in March 2020, the loss of our normal lives to the pandemic made us question what truly matters to us. The loss of our loved ones, the loss of our family members, and I've been speaking about this, you know, I lost four people in my community back in London, around 25 of my friends had mild to severe symptoms of COVID-19, and the loss of our normal lives or the loss of our closest ones to the pandemic made us question what truly matters to us. All of a sudden, we were locked indoors and we started to realize that being isolated

from the ones we loved wasn't fun. We realized that we had to find new ways to entertain ourselves and to understand what was going on. We had to understand that our actions impacted those around us. We had to increase our compassion and empathy to our neighbors and those around us. We had to increase our compassion and empathy to our neighbors and those who lived with us, but it was that loss of our normal lives

that made us question what is truly a value. Again, it was a loss. With Kobe, it was a loss, with the pandemic, it was a loss. It was a loss of someone we love. It was a loss of our normal life. It was a loss of our expected life that made us question, right? In May 2020, just over a week ago, George Floyd's loss. Right, let me just take this for a moment though.

You know, George Floyd's loss, this horrific heart breaking, tragic moment, right? It made us question justice and equality. And this is something I wanted to share with you all because it's really, really important. And I spent the whole, you know, last couple of weeks reading, learning, talking to people to educate myself on everything that's going on to better

understand and respond. And I really believe that change happens in two ways. One is from the bottom up, which is the people and the other is from the top down, the leadership. And the bottom has been trying to be heard for so long, and there's probably no pain greater than that of being unheard. It let alone being unheard for what feels like centuries and literally centuries. Now, I recognize that this is hard for a lot of people to understand, but for me, it's important

to address. And I believe it's an important reminder is that we should not have to remind each other that Black Lives Matter, but we still do. We should not have to remind each other that we are equal, but we still do. We should not have to remind each other that racism isn't okay, but we still do. We should not have to remind each other that racism isn't okay, but we still do. We should not have to remind each other that this needs to stop, but we still do. We should not have to remind each other that being black is not a death sentence, but we still do. We should not have to remind each other that love is what we need, not hate,

But we still do. We should not have to remind each other that love is what we need, not hate, but we still do. We should not have to remind each other that police brutality is wrong, but we still do. And here's the thing. You know, let's remind ourselves, remind our children, remind each other, remind our families, remind our communities, and remind the world, and stand for justice, because there is no explanation for what we have seen, none at all. And it's so important that we now make no excuses and take this opportunity to stand together. When things seem okay, we become complacent.

In these moments, we respond, but what we do in between matters as well. And this is going to take a conscious effort from each and every one of us every day, and to we all realize that love, kindness, compassion and empathy are the only antidotes. Love is louder than anything. Crys of compassion, the most deafening, calls of kindness can make all the difference. Empathy is the energy we need in the world today. You don't have a soul, you are the soul,

and you have a body. And we know this, we breathe the same air, and we bleed the same blood. So why do we treat others like they're not enough? I would like us at this 846 point roughly as the on-purpose family to take a minute of silence for George Floyd. Let's take this minute in support of all people protesting against the ongoing racial

injustice. I believe there will come a day where we will all live in this world, united as brothers and sisters, leading with love and compassion instead of fear and aggression. So I want to thank you all for taking that minute with me and I really truly believe it's important that we do this because, you know, I saw someone post this that if you're tired of hearing about racism, imagine how tired people are of actually experiencing it.

And here's what I realized that it is sad that it takes discomfort, pain and distress to make us deeply question and discover what is truly meaningful, important and urgent. Let me repeat that. It's sad that it takes discomfort, pain and distress to make us deeply question and discover what is truly meaningful, important and urgent. But we can see that loss makes us question. And questioning is powerful, right?

Loss makes us question. In January 2020, Kobe's loss made us question time. In March 2020, the loss of our normal lives made us question what truly matters to us. In May 2020, George Floyd's loss made his question equality and justice. Loss makes us question. And questioning is really important because questioning is about asking and then listening. Questioning is about asking and then learning. Questioning is about sharing and then observing.

And sometimes we're scared of asking the right questions because we already know that the answer is uncomfortable. So we feel we can avoid asking it. Right, how many times have you done that before? Where you actually don't say anything or don't ask any questions because you already know that the answer is going to be something uncomfortable. And it's time now to not be a spectator and a commentator that get educated, to be involved, to be engaged, to really take a stand, win whatever way you can and whatever way you believe. So thank you so much for giving me the time to have that very, very important one minute of silence.

And thank you so much for turning up for today's episode and allowing me to give that time to really addressing this important challenge. Now what I want to talk to you about today is I've been really getting into psychology again and the mind and how we think. And today I want to talk to you about the biases that trick us into making bad decisions. Now, how many of you are even aware that there are certain biases that we develop in our life? Often these become unconscious biases.

That means biases that we're not even aware of, biases that are unknown to us, that are working in the background of our mind and our brains and making us make decisions that may not be the healthiest and the best for us, our friends or our families. So I want you to get your notebooks out. I want you to be ready to take down some points and when I'm going through these biases, I want you to note down which ones you

have. And for each bias, I'm going to give you a really strong, practical solution to break down that bias. Because see, here's the thing. We have spent our life learning a lot of ways to think. But now is the time that we need to unlearn a lot of those ways to achieve new results. If learning has got you to where you are, unlearning will get you to where you want to be. And I really, really believe in what I'm about to share with you with these biases, because I've seen them plague my own mind. And I see them not even as biases.

I see them as tricks of the mind. These are the hidden tricks of the mind that actually shape our decisions and often take us down paths that we don't want to go down. Now, some people say there are 12 biases, some people say there are eight, some people say there are four. So today I'm gonna focus on the nine biases

that trick our mind, that force us into making bad decisions that have been built up in our mind and teach you a practical lesson of how to break each bias. Now some biases have their positives and I'll explain those as we go along and what benefits they give us. But overall, it's the awareness of the bias knowing how to use it, when to use it, where to use it and how to use it is what makes a bias useful as opposed to use it when to use it where to use it and how to use it is what makes a bias useful as opposed to useless. It's what makes a bias beneficial than actually leading to a greater disadvantage for us. So think about this carefully. The first bias that I want

to speak to you about is something known as confirmation bias, also known as my side bias. And this simplified in a really basic way is we seek people who confirm our beliefs. Right? We seek and gravitate towards people who confirm our beliefs. And this creates echo chambers. We know people who know people, who know us back. and we create this closed loop where information continues to confirm what we believe. We follow people who confirm our biases on social media. We follow people and read articles that confirm our bias in the news. We focus on confirming the rhetoric, the opinion that we have, because it makes us feel safe and secure.

And so obviously there's positivity in there. There's positivity in confirmation bias, because it reaffirms our good beliefs. But there's a negative here, because it makes us less open to other people's beliefs. See, feeling confidence in your beliefs is important for living daily life, but if that confidence in your beliefs creates a closeness to other people's beliefs,

that is a big challenge. That is where confirmation bias exists. So, a confidence in your beliefs So a confidence in your beliefs should come with an openness to other people's beliefs, as opposed to a closeness in other people's beliefs. It's immature if your confidence in your own beliefs and your confirmation bias leads to discounting other people's beliefs and opinions, even if they're valid. Right, so think about the moment. Confirmation bias isn't being around people that make us feel safe and secure and finding more things that help us grow our positive mindset. It's when we keep surrounding ourselves by people where we create a closed echo chamber where we now no longer allow other valid opinions to help enhance and extend our beliefs.

And this is what I've really realized when it comes to beliefs and biases that everything is extendable, everything is enhanceable, everything is stretchable, nothing is stagnant, wisdom, knowledge. All of these incredible insights, they grow, they evolve, they don't just stay the same way they are. Now, it takes courage to do this It takes courage to accept that actually you know what? I'm just surrounded by a group of people who know the same people We talk about the same stuff all the time. We have the same beliefs

No one ever questions each other and remember I've been talking about questioning earlier the reason why I'm talking about biases today is That questioning is the root that I'm talking about biases today is that questioning is the root that helps us break our biases. And so I spoke about questioning early and that's why I'm talking about biases today is because today, 2020 is making us question and questioning is the first step in breaking our biases, but it takes courage to question. It's easier to live in that false security and false stability. It's easier to live around the same people who think the same way,

who say the same stuff will all agree. It's often when we use that phrase, if don't be surrounded by yes men or yes women. When you get surrounded by that, we see people at the top who get surrounded by that. They get misled, because everyone in their circle confirms what they say and sometimes you need someone to take the courage to say that's not right to say I don't agree with that to say I have another perspective to say I have another

opinion I have another insight that I'd like us to entertain that I have another opinion, I have another insight that I'd like us to entertain, that I'd like us to think about, that I'd like us to reflect on, that I'd like us to appreciate when someone has the courage to say that, that's when we start breaking confirmation bias. So this is why it's so important to have a broad group of friends in our circle, people from different backgrounds, people from different walks of life, people from different races, people from different countries.

We build biases, confirmation bias based on cities, schools we go to, all of these things recreate a bias. And we start breaking it down when we expand our circle. MIT did a very specific study on this and their goal with the study was to find who in their organizations, they were studying, corporate organizations, which employees were innovative and creative. And they looked at maps of networks of two employees. One map had the employees who knew people, who knew people who knew them back, a closed

network. And the other employees had people who had a broad network. They knew people who maybe didn't know each other, and they knew a lot of different people like that. And what they found was that the people who had broader, more expansive networks, were more creative and more innovative. Why? Because they entertained more people's perspectives. They could look from multiple angles,

they could assess something from different perspectives, different ideologies. And that is what's needed right now is a growing mind that can have the ability to process things from different perspectives. That is what we are so seeking right now in the world. Is people who can be broad-minded and open-minded, who can look at things from multiple angles and not through the lens of the past, through history, through anything that blocks it.

So the solution for confirmation bias is to ask yourself this question. How many people do you know that have truly unique experiences based on their backgrounds, walks of life, countries they come from in your intimate circle. Are you surrounded by people who came from the same area, went to the same schools, went to the same colleges, make the same amount of money, go to the same places, go spend time in the same areas, want to go on the same vacations, wear the same clothes, live in the same style of homes? Because if you are, you probably have developed a very high threshold of confirmation bias that is blocking you from your potential

and achieving things in the world. And it's like, you may be thinking, well, J, how does that actually, you know, how is this bias even bad? Like, that's life, right? And the truth is, yes, it is life. And that's how life is often lived. But think about what you're missing when you're not exposed to a new set of people. I think about this all the time that when I moved to New York, it changed my mindset from being grown up in London. When I moved to LA, it changed my mindset because I met new people. There was such a growth in uprooting from London, whereas around the same people who thought

the same way, now being in LA, then first being in New York, and being around people who had such different experiences from me, there was such value in there. The second bias that we experience is something known as post-purchase rationalization. Now, I was reading about this in a gizmodo article where some of these biases were named, and I'm not coming up with these biases, these are biases laid out by psychology.

Now, post purchase rationalization is when we make ourselves feel better about our bad purchases. How many times now I know you can relate to this. How many times have you bought something? Have you invested in something? And you keep trying to convince yourself after you've bought it that it was a good purchase. It was a good pair of shoes. You keep wearing it trying to get validation.

You keep showing it to your friends and go, this looks good, right? This is worth it, right? Oh, yeah, I just spent this much on, I mean, I got a really good deal on it. Like, I got the best way of getting it, right? Like, I got this like free thing with it too. Like, you keep rationalizing why you spend so much money on this. Now, I remember a few years ago, I think this about five years ago now, maybe six years ago now. I remember a few years ago, I think this is about five years ago now, maybe six years ago now I remember when the Apple Watch first came out I bought the Apple Watch, it was about 300 pounds really an Expensive watch and expensive item. I'd never spent that much on a watch before Let her own a digital watch that didn't even know I was gonna use and it was almost like I felt scared to admit that it was useless

Have you ever made a purchase like that? You're scared to admit that you made the wrong decision because ever made a purchase like that? You're scared to admit that you made the wrong decision because you put so much into it, right? You put so much into it. And now you don't want to admit to yourself that you made a bad decision. This applies to watches. It applies to maybe a car purchase. It applies to clothes. It may need to smaller items that we buy quite regularly, and you try and convince yourself, or it happens in a very simple way, where you just spend the last week binge watching a show, and you're now trying to justify that the show

was actually really good, even though you know it's really bad. It's kind of like when you spend too much to go to the theater, or too much on a holiday, and now you lie about that place being beautiful. I've gone to so many vacations and holidays, where people have told me these places are incredible. And I go there and I come back and I'm just like, why did you think I was incredible,

but really we feel forced because of post-purchase rationalization. So we convince ourselves that it's a good decision to make ourselves feel better. Now the challenge with this is we keep making bad decisions. Right, when you've convinced yourself that every decision that was bad was actually good. When you just light yourself in that way, you continue that cycle of creating more negative situations for yourself because you haven't been truthful and honest with yourself. And even though you know in your gut that that wasn't the right decision because you've convinced yourself it was, you keep repeating that pattern and you never break through that cycle. So the solution for this one is be okay with making bad decisions and failing.

Be okay with making bad decisions. Be okay with admitting that you were wrong. I realized that I was wrong for purchasing the Apple watch and I could give it back within the time. I had the receipt and I, I don't want it once and I realized that it wasn't doing what I wanted it to do and I could give it back so I even saved my money, I gave it back. But it's so important that we're honest with ourselves so that when we make a purchase that we really value, that it's real for us, and it's real for the people around us.

I'm Mungeshia Tikhler, and to be honest, I don't believe in astrology, but from the moment I was born, it's been a part of my life. In India, it's like smoking. You might not smoke, but you're going to get secondhand astrology. And lately, I've been wondering if the universe has been trying to tell me to stop running and pay attention. Because maybe there is magic in the stars if you're willing to look for it. So I rounded up some friends and we dove in and let me tell you, it got weird fast. Tantric curses, major league baseball teams, cancelled marriages, K-pop! But just when I thought I had a handle on this sweet and curious show about astrology, my whole world can crash down.

Situation doesn't look good. There is risk to father. And my whole view on astrology? It changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, I think your ideas are going to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive and the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. How's that New Year's resolution coming along? You know, the one you made about paying off your pesky credit card debt and finally starting to save your retirement?

Well, you're not alone if you haven't made progress yet, roughly four in five new years resolutions fail within the first month or two. But that doesn't have to be the case for you and your goals. Our podcast, How to Money can help. That's right, we're two best buds who've been at it for more than five years now, and we want to see you achieve your money goals. And it's our goal to provide the information and encouragement you need to do it. We keep the show fresh by answering list our questions, interviewing experts, and focusing on the relevant financial news that you need to know about. Our show is Choc Full of the personal finance knowledge that you need with guidance three times a week, and we talk about debt payoff. If, let's say you've had a particularly spend thrift holiday season, we also talk about building

up your savings, intelligent investing, and growing your income. No matter where you are on your financial journey, how do money's got your back? Millions of listeners have trusted us to help them achieve their financial goals. Ensure that your resolution turns into ongoing progress. Listen to how to money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season. And yet, we're constantly discovering new secrets. The depths of them, the variety of them, continues to be astonishing.

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Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So the third bias is called the probability paradox. This one's really, really interesting because what ends up happening is that we fear the wrong things and not understanding what is more likely to hurt us and actually impact us. So we almost get anxious and stressed about the wrong thing.

Now, you've probably experienced this before and I was looking at a New York Times blog and was talking about how statistically, we have a one in 84 chance of dying in a car accident as compared to a one in 5,000 chance of dying in an airplane crash, right? And some sources that this blog talks about indicates that the odds are as high as one in 20,000, but more people get scared getting into a plane

than we do getting scared getting into a car And it's because of the stories that we hear it's because of the horrific pictures that are painted So it's fascinating how so many of us are fearful of things that are actually less statistically proven To make a negative impact on us now if you think about this bias Think about it in your own life as well. How much do you stress about losing your job? How much do you stress about something your partner says? How much do you stress about something that may not be true? And we actually waste so much energy in feeling stress and pressure and all of these negative

emotions, the anxiety and nervousness that comes with that. And so the solution for this bias is to be careful and cautious and alert, not anxious. So the way you do that, what does it mean to do that? It means that you are aware, it means that you get the right information, it means that you do the research, it means that you have the knowledge.

So rather than letting your emotions and your nervousness and anxiety just run crazy, you're actually settling yourself and saying, okay, let me just get back to the basics and let me really, really try and just be careful and cautious. It's how we sometimes, we get lost in painting a picture in our minds of how something can turn out so bad, rather than focus on reality. I often talk about this as we focus on what if instead of what is.

And so when you're stuck in the probability paradox, you're gonna bring your mind back to what is as opposed to allowing it to just get lost in what if. So this is a really, really important bias to think about. Now, the fourth bias is known as selection bias. Simply put, we see more of what we seek. The best way to explain this, and it's a common example that's used, is when you get a new phone, you get a new pair of shoes, you get a new car, guess what, you see that everywhere.

Have you ever had that? It was like when I was thinking about buying a particular car, you now see that car everywhere. When you are thinking, even a thought, that's what's so powerful about it. It's not even buying a pair of shoes. It's not even buying a particular car or buying a particular phone. It's like when that thought is planted in your mind,

you now spot it everywhere. So this is where I want to go a step further in the way selection bias is explained. Selection bias is always explained around. The purchase of a car and you see everywhere, but actually I Believes that it this includes thoughts and people too when you look for good people you find them or good people when you look for good Thoughts you find them or good thoughts when you try to notice the greatness in people you will notice more greatness when you look for the Potential in yourself you will find more potential

We see more of what we seek is more greatness. When you look for the potential in yourself, you will find more potential. We see more of what we seek. Right? We see more of what we seek consistently. And so ask yourself, what are you seeking? Ask yourself, what is that thought that you're looking for? Ask yourself, what is the plan you're making in your mind? Because just as if you have the thought of, I want to buy a Tesla, you will see more Teslas. If you have the thought, I want to be around happy, growing, authentic people, you will start to notice happy, growing, authentic people.

And similarly, this can go the other way. If we have the bias of selection bias, when we select a negative thought, it continues to repeat. So the solution here is, select your thoughts carefully. What seeds are you planting in your mind every day? What thoughts are you planting in your mind every day that are building the correct bias that you're actually looking for? Now, the fifth bias is known as the status quo bias, or almost like certainty, consistency, normality bias. And that's when you try to keep things the

same. And the problem with this one, as we all know, is that trying to keep things the same doesn't work. And we've all realized that this year, so much more uncertainty because things are always changing. So if you have this bias, status quo bias, the biggest challenge with this bias is that your whole life always feels like it's crumbling. Like this bias is like the root cause of why you feel like your life is not moving in the right direction. But you see, like, but I want everything to stay the same. And that one simple bias is like a virus in your life

that erodes and creates so much dysfunction, so much dysfunction, because the truth is that everything's always changing. There is so much inconsistency and uncertainty. And so really the only way of overcoming this bias is to feel more comfortable with change. And the way to do that is actually simpler than you believe. This is the solution.

Make small changes daily to get comfortable with change. You might take a new route to work. And guess what, you're late that day. But guess what, you try a new route to work and guess what, you're late that day. But guess what, you try a new route to work the other day and you see the most beautiful scenery. You discover a quicker route. That's it. Okay, Monday night is usually taco night. I'm going to switch that to Italian night where we're going to cook something different. I know that when I walk into my house, I see a particular painting or maybe I see a blank wall. I'm going to put a painting there there. I'm gonna put a piece of art there.

How can you make spontaneity come into your routine? A common example that's given in the world of psychology and this is, if you're right-handed, brush your teeth with your left hand, or if you're left-handed, brush your teeth with your right hand. When you break that status quo through these small things, you start becoming more open to change and start realizing the value of change and actually the only thing normal is change.

You know, that's just the way it is. So I really wanted to understand this point that the status quo bias is actually what keeps us trapped. And what frees us is adding these small changes. Sometimes we think like life's got to change in a massive way. It doesn't, it just needs to change in a small way. Cook something new for dinner, put some new music on. Right?

Try a new outfit. Like whatever it is that breaks out of that monotony, that creates spontaneity in monotony. This is bias number six now, is the negativity bias. And this is simple. There's a very famous statement made in the world of news. If it bleeds, it reads, we are programmed as a lot of psychologists and scientists have told us to spot danger and spot negativity

and amplifier. It comes what we're told from our days of being in the bushes and the forest. And we would hear a rustle through the leaves and we would think it's a snake or a tiger and we'd have to protect ourselves. So our ability, the amygdala is triggered and we run to protect ourselves. So similarly negativity is louder in our minds. And that is a bias we have to be so aware of because when we watch the news, it's easier to spot negativity. If you see a negative headline, you will sit there and watch that show for an hour. But if you see a positive headline, you will just

walk away from it. And that's why it is so important, so important. The way to really overcome this is to recognize that repeated negativity doesn't actually help us grow and choosing growth based content, choosing solution-based content to read is going to help you move out of negativity quicker than anything. Being in negativity and reading more negativity makes you feel negative. Now, it doesn't mean you need to read something positive. It means you need to read something action-based. And I think we make this mistake.

We think that the opposite of negativity is positivity. The opposite of negativity is actually action. It's doing something. It's getting active. It's moving. It's momentum. Because negativity is stagnant. Negativity is draining.

Negativity takes your energy away. And so the only way to get your energy back is to push forward. And so being aware of what are you consuming on a daily basis? What are you reading? What are you watching? What are you learning? Choose things that make you want to make changes in your life.

Right? Choose things in your life that want to make you make positive changes in your life. That's the work that's going to push you forward. Now, the seventh bias, by the way, I hope you enjoyed this podcast because this is so useful when you really get reflective, you really get deep, I'm giving you a really strong overview today of the multiple types of biases that exist. But I really, really hope that they're resonating

with you. The seventh bias is known as the projection bias. We think that people think like us. How many times have you thought that someone is as loyal as you are and they let you down? How many times have you thought someone is as trustworthy as you are and they've let you down? How many times have you believed that someone is as helpful or as into you or as committed to a friendship as you are? And then they've let you down. Now whose fault is that? Often we think it's because there's no good people. Often we think since people let us down. And those things are true. Of course they are. But one of the deepest truths is that we

have projection bias. That we reflect our own loyalty standards, our own trust standards, our own friendship standards on to other people. We reflect our own beliefs, projecting them onto other people we think people think like us. And that really messes up. I don't need to tell you how much that messes us up. It messes up our relationships, our friendships, our romantic connections. So the only solution to this is clarify perspectives and expectations early. In a business, clarify perspectives and expectations early. Don't just think we went to the same school, we had the same parents, same kind of parenting, we both get along, everything's gonna be great.

They like me, they get me, they understand me. We think that because we think people think like us. It's so valid and important to clarify perspectives and expectations early. And I want you to do that in all your relationships. Not in an aggressive way, not in an offensive way, not in an overly confrontational way, but in a way that really builds collaboration, in a way that really encourages connection, right, in a way that really helps you understand each other.

helps you understand each other. A good way to learn about a place is to talk to the people that live there. There's just this sexy vibe, a Montreal, this pulse, this energy. What was seen as a very snotty city, people call it bozangeless. New Orleans is a town that never forgets its pay. A great way to get to know a place is to get invited to a dinner party. Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Newton, and not lost as my new travel podcast where a friend and I go places, see the sights, and try to finagle our way into a dinner party. We're kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party.

It doesn't always work out. I would love that, but I have like a Chihuahua who is aggressive towards strangers. I love the dogs. We learn about the places we're visiting, yes, but we also learn about ourselves. I have like a Cholala who is aggressive towards strangers. I love the dogs. We learn about the places we're visiting, yes, but we also learn about ourselves. I don't spend as much time thinking about how I'm going to die alone when I'm traveling, but I get to travel with someone I love.

Oh, see, I love you too. And also, we get to eat as much... It's very sincere. I love you too. My life's a lot of therapy goes behind that. You're so white, I love it. Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Debbie Brown.

And my podcast deeply well is a soft place to land on your wellness journey. I hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness and mental health around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your journey. From guided meditations to deep conversations with some of the world's most gifted experts in self-care, trauma, psychology, spirituality, astrology, and even intimacy.

Here is where you'll pick up the tools to live as your highest self. Make better choices. Heal and have more joy. My work is rooted in advanced meditation, metaphysics, spiritual psychology, energy healing, and trauma-informed practices. I believe that the more we heal and grow within ourselves, the more we are able to bring our creativity to life and live our purpose, which leads to community impact and higher consciousness for all beings. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is your soft place to land,

to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well is available now on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Big love, namaste. I'm Dr. Romani, and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health.

In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved bomb by the Tinder Swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself,

I know how to identify the narcissist in your life. Each week, you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. or wherever you get your podcasts. Bias number eight is short term gratification bias. Now I don't know if you saw this video recently that I posted, it was fascinating.

It was Kylie Jenner's child stormy and she's asked to wait and if she waits, she'll get two sweets. And or as many as she likes, I think. And if she doesn't wait, then she can eat right now, or whatever it is. And she basically ends up waiting, and you see her just whispering,

patience to herself. It's fascinating. And it's obviously based on something known as the marshmallow test. Many, many years ago, where children were taught that they could either eat one marshmallow now or wait 20 minutes and have two. And very few lasted. But when they watched those children across their journey, they saw that the people that had patients were more successful

ability to put off gratification. And so the solution to this is think long term. It doesn't mean you have to wait for a while to celebrate. It means that you think long term when you're making a decision. You don't think, okay, what's going to make me happy right now? What's going to be great right now? It's like, what is actually gonna put me in the best position? Because what they found is that people will choose unhealthy food when they think of now,

but when they think of the future, they'll choose healthy food. And so that's why we make better decisions when we think, how do I wanna feel tomorrow morning as opposed to how do I wanna feel tonight? It's why one night stands. It's why binge eating. It's why binge tonight. It's why one night stands. It's why binge eating. It's why binge watching. It's why staying awake all night doing nothing is so attractive in the now,

but in the future, getting drunk in the aftermath, it doesn't feel as powerful. And so I always ask myself that question, not how do I want to feel now? How do I want to feel tomorrow morning? Because that's future enough. If you push too much into the future of how do I want to feel in a week, it's like too far away. But I know what it feels like to wake up night after I've eaten stuff I don't want to eat, or I've wasted time watching something that I didn't want to watch.

I've worked on feeling tired, fatigued, drained, energy less. And I don't want to feel like that. I can connect with that. So when I say think long term, I don't mean think what do I want in five, ten years over the older that is useful. It's really important to think long term based on now versus 12 hours, 24 hours

time. And the ninth and final bias that I want to discuss with you today is known as the sunk cost bias. One of my favorite ones to talk about. And similar to some of the gamblers fallacy that I talked about before, but sunk cross-vices where you've made an investment into something. We often feel this with our education. You've studied for something for three, maybe six years, maybe nine years, and now you feel scared to switch careers because you're like, I've invested so much time in it. Even though you're not passionate about it, you're not excited about it. You don't believe in it.

You don't want to do it, but you feel that you've invested time in it, so you have to stick with it. People do this with investments do it, but you feel that you've invested time in it, so you have to stick with it. People do this with investments. People do this in people and relationships. I've been with him for five years. I've been with him for 10 years. I've been with her for nine years. Now I have to marry her.

She has to be the one. Even though we argue every day, and we don't like each other, it's called sunk cost bias. You have to spot this in yourself. And the only way you improve sunk cost bias is you look at the facts, you remove emotion from the equation. It's the emotion that creates sunk

gospias. Oh, but we've invested so many time. We've been on so many holidays. We've put so much money into this. I put so much time into this. My parents put so much time into this. It's the emotion that stopped you from making a rational decision. So remove emotion from the equation and see your life change and transform. Thank you so much to listening to this episode. I hope that this has helped you become more aware

of the biases that trick your mind and stop you from making great decisions. Thank you so much for listening. Make sure you share your best insight on Instagram and Twitter and tag me at Jay Shelley. I can't wait to read what you're learning, what you're growing from. Share this episode with friends right now as well

and thank you so much for being a part of the on-purpose community. Thank you. I'm Munga Shatekler and it turns out astrology is way more widespread than any of us want to believe. You can find it in major league baseball, international banks, kpop groups, even the White House. But just when I thought I had a handle on this subject, something completely unbelievable happened to me, and my whole view on astrology changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, give me a few minutes because I think your ideas are about to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Our 20s are often seen as this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, make mistakes, and figure out our lives. But what can psychology teach us about this time? I'm Jermis Speg, the host of the psychology of your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, and much more to explore the science behind our experiences, the psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I am Janla Van Zant, and I'll be your host for The R Spot. Each week listeners will call me live to discuss their relationship issues.

Nothing will tear a relationship down faster than two people with no vision. Does y'all are just floppin' around like fish out of water? Mommy, daddy, your ex, I'll be talking about those things and so much more. Check out the R-Spot on the iHeart video app Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts.