On Purpose with Jay Shetty - 9 Powerful Reflection Questions for 2021
Episode Date: December 24, 2021The new year begins next week, now is the time to reflect on everything that has happened in your life in 2021. In this episode, Jay Shetty shares 9 questions that you can use to reflect on the past, ...to show up as your best self in the future. There’s no need to wait for New Years to become a new you.Get your copy of Think Like a Monk today by clicking this link!https://thinklikeamonkbook.com/00:23 Live from Jay's childhood home & what it feels like to be back home01:24 The importance of reflection around the holidays03:00 Question #1 - What made you feel most happy this year?06:54 Question #2 - What made you unhappy this year?09:54 Question #3 - What was the biggest lesson you learned this past year?11:58 Question #4 - What do you wish you would have done more of this year?13:46 Question #5 - What's something you want to do less of next year?14:50 Question #6 - What was your biggest success this year?18:27 Question #7 - When was a moment you failed this year?20:24 Question #8 - What is something you want to learn next year?Question #9 - What is your favorite way to refuel?Like this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet.
Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Louis Hamilton, and many, many more.
On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours.
Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts.
Join the journey soon.
What if you could tell the whole truth about your life, including all those tender and visible
things we don't usually talk about?
I'm Megan Devine.
Host of the podcast, it's okay that you're not okay.
Look everyone's at least a little bit not okay these days, and all those things we don't
usually talk about, maybe we should. This season, I'm joined by
stellar guests like Abbermote, Rachel Cargol, and so many more. It's okay that you're
not okay. New episodes each and every Monday, available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever
you listen to podcasts.
I am Jan Levan Zant, and I'll be your host for The R-Spot.
Each week listeners will call me live to discuss their relationship issues.
Nothing will tear a relationship down faster than two people with no vision.
There's y'all are just floppin' around like fish out of water.
Mommy, daddy, your ex, I'll be talking about those things and so much more.
Check out the R-Spaught on the iHeart video app Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to
podcasts.
What I love about this question is often we're asked to reflect on what was the thing that
you won, what was the thing that you did that was most successful.
That's usually the question people ask.
But I think asking a question on happiness is even more important, even more powerful,
because we want to do more of what makes us happy.
Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose.
I am sitting here in the bedroom I grew up in.
And my parents laughed as I record this, because
I just got into London for the holidays. I am here to be with my family and I'm so lucky
to be here. I feel so grateful that I could get in to see them. And as I sit here, it's
been a really interesting 24 hours that I've been back now as I'm recording this.
And it's been really fascinating because I've been doing a lot of reflecting.
I've only been here once in the last two years.
And everywhere where I'm walking, I'm noticing the nursery that I went to, the school that I went to,
the bank that I opened on my first bank account.
I'm noticing where I used to sit and meditate
when I first did a practicing where I would read.
I've got all these books that I'm surrounded by right now,
books that I grew up on that changed my life
that formed the way I think.
It put me in a very reflective mood.
It's so important at this time of year to reflect.
It's so important at this time of year
to take some time out to look back.
And the interesting thing with us when we're reflecting is that we don't usually make as much
time as we'd like. We may say that we want to reflect this Christmas or this holiday season.
We may even try to take an hour out and then get distracted by Instagram or TikTok. Maybe you've
been really good for it and you've made some great progress and really put some time aside.
But what I wanted to share with you today was a plan.
Questions and a plan of how to really reflect on how this year has been.
I'll share some of my reflections as well as I go along.
And I'm hoping that all of you, after listening to this episode,
which is going to be around 30 minutes long,
I really hope that you can take out around an hour. An hour is all it will take.
Take an hour to really reflect on these questions and give yourself the time to do that.
Because what I find is that the world moves so fast, the next thing you know, it will be
January 1st, will be busy with the next thing, the new thing, and then all of a sudden
we've forgotten about this year.
And I've started to notice how much my memory is erased of years gone by, how you lose
the details, and then you have to really try and search.
And when you find it, you're like, wow, some amazing things happen that year. But by then, you don't even have the full depth of your memory to understand
it, appreciate it, recognize it. So one of the first questions that I would ask myself
when I'm reflecting is, what made you feel most happy? And I'm going to share with you a really clever way of doing this.
I hope this is going to help you and I just did this.
And so I think you'll love it.
Is I went on to my photo album, like my photo reel on my phone,
my photo zap, and I scrolled back to January 1st.
Now, I don't take pictures of everything.
I'm actually terrible at
documenting things because when I'm not creating for work or not thinking about an idea, I'm pretty much
not on my phone. And so, I don't even take that many pictures, but still, I look through on my phone
from Jan 1st until today. And I was amazed to see how many beautiful things happen this year,
and I don't even take pictures of everything. So if you're someone that takes pictures
of everything, you're going to love this. And if you're someone like me who doesn't
take pictures of everything, I promise you, you're still going to love it. You're still
going to appreciate it because even with the few memories you have,
or maybe you have memories of things people sent to you, it's incredible. It's beautiful
to see what you captured and what was there with you. And so I want you to do that right now.
I want you to go to Photos app. I want you to look from January 1st and I want you to ask yourself
I want you to look from January 1st and I want you to ask yourself
What were the things that made you the most happy?
Right, what were the things that made you the most happy? That's what I want you to focus on and
What I love about this question is often we're asked to reflect on you know
What was the thing that you won? What was the thing that you did that was most successful?
That's usually the question people ask.
But I think asking a question on happiness is
even more important, even more powerful
because we want to do more of what makes us happy.
So when I think about what memory or what happened this year that made me feel the most happy,
what memory or what happened this year that made me feel the most happy.
What made me feel the most happy was the quality time I spent with Riley this year.
We found that in the last two years, we spent more time together than ever before,
and we deeply appreciated it.
When I went through my photos app,
I literally found just pictures and pictures of us being silly,
taking fun selfies, messing around.
It just made me so happy.
It brought me so much joy that me and her have had so much quality time.
And especially in the last month, we haven't seen each other as much.
She came back to London a bit earlier than I did.
I was traveling a bit before that.
And when I looked at that, I thought, wow, that makes me so happy.
I'm so joyful about the fact that we actually for once got really quality time together.
And whether it was us on a hike or whether it was us when we were
trying out a new experience, we had a lot of amazing experiences
together this year as well.
So that was really, really special.
And I'm just so grateful that we go to have this.
So what made you most happy?
Now, I don't want you to just ask yourself that question.
You're like, I figured I want made me most happy.
So what?
We're the what made you most happy.
I want you now to ask yourself,
how will you make more time for that this year?
How will you continue to water that?
It's almost like you're looking at your garden
and you see that the plum tree
or the rose bushes are growing beautifully.
The question is how do I not forget to water that just because it's going well.
So often things are going great in our lives and we're not conscious of it and then they don't go so great next year.
Let's use this as a reminder to say continue to do this, continue to spend time with this person,
it brings you joy, continue to value it
to be grateful for it.
Now, the second question that I want you to answer
is what made you unhappy this year, right?
What was it that took joy away from your life this year?
This is a really important question to ask
and this one you may not find in your galleries.
Maybe you didn't take pictures of these times, but maybe you have them in your journals.
Maybe they come up in your conversations.
Maybe they come up when you're talking to a loved one or a trusted person in your life.
What was it that took energy away?
For me, there were times this year where I was completely a follower of my schedule.
And I feel that there were times when I wasn't being as creative as I wanted to be.
I wasn't as reflective or thoughtful as I wanted to be.
I was just following my schedule because there were so many things being filled up and
I just kept doing whatever was in my schedule.
And that didn't make me happy.
I didn't like living a life that felt like I wasn't focusing on what my priorities
were. I didn't feel like living a life where I wasn't getting time to be creative and thoughtful
and reflective how I wanted to be. I wasn't feeling happy about the fact that I couldn't focus on
that which was important to me. So it's really important to analyze that because that has been one
of my biggest takeaways
this year and that simple takeaway of what made me unhappy this year has made me understand.
Now notice something really interesting about this question.
It's very easy with this question to say someone or something else.
Like I wasn't happy because this person broke up with me or I wasn't happy because this happened.
Look for your own choice or your own learning in that. So I'll give you an example. I could say that the problem was the people creating my schedule.
But the real challenge is I wasn't being focused enough.
I wasn't being selective enough.
I wasn't being focused enough, I wasn't being selective enough, I wasn't being
curated enough. That's really where the ownership and the responsibility lies. When we make
decisions about who to date, who to see, what job to take, are we being as conscious as
aware as we possibly can to make the right decision for ourselves, or are we just accepting
whatever comes into our life for
being carried away. It's so important. So now it's not just what made you unhappy and write
it down. It's actually saying, well, let me look at what is it about that? How did I end
up in that situation? When you get lost, you don't just get mad at your GPS. You wonder,
why did you get here? How did you end up here? Maybe you didn't
charge your phone. Maybe you had an old version of the app. Maybe you weren't driving a car
you were used to driving. What is it that you can take responsibility for not to judge yourself
or to beat yourself up, but to use it as an opportunity to say, this is something that
it as an opportunity to say this is something that I'm not going to allow me to affect me again. So the third question is what was the biggest lesson you learned? Now this question
obviously takes hints from the first two but really try and ask yourself what's the biggest
lesson and imagine you were on a podcast, imagine you were on on purpose.
And I asked you that question,
give the question that gravitas.
You listen to the podcast,
you hear the answers that our guests give.
If you were on this show and I asked you,
what's the biggest lesson you learned in the last 12 months?
How much would you care about that answer?
How much would you think about it?
Knowing that millions of people are gonna hear it,
but more importantly, you're saying,
this is the biggest thing I learned this year.
And I've been thinking about that
to think about how to share that with you as well.
Like how do I tell you what's the biggest lesson I learned this year?
Not the most recent lesson,
not the immediate one that comes to mind,
but what's the biggest lesson I learned this year?
And the biggest lesson I learned this year? And the biggest lesson I learned
this year. And sometimes it's the same lesson you learned every year, so you have to really
push yourself. The biggest lesson I learned this year is your schedule shows what you care
about, what you do with your free time, what you do with your mornings, your evenings,
your weekends shows what you care about. And if you're like, well, I don't care about
any of that on my schedule, then let's try and change that. Now we all have to work.
So everyone has to go to work and we may not love what we do for work. And we may have
tried or we may be trying to shift, but that sometimes is out of our control. But what
are we doing with our evenings and weekends?
Does it really show what we care about?
So I realize that what I really care about is creativity,
what I really care about is impact,
what I really care about is helping people find their purpose
and I want my schedule to reflect that.
And yes, everything I do is dedicated to that,
but there are some things that are more dedicated
to that than others.
And I want to review that.
So that's the third big, big question to ask yourself.
Now, the fourth question is an interesting one.
What is something you wish you did more of?
What is something that you didn't make time for?
But you wish you made more time for. What is that one thing that you're like make time for, but you wish you made more time for?
What is that one thing that you're like, you know, next year?
This has to be part of it.
This is something that I know I need to prioritize.
Notice how it's not judging yourself or beating yourself up for not making time?
It's recognizing this is important to me.
This is a priority to me and I want to make time for it next year.
Now, when I think about this, it's dedicated creative time.
I would love to have one of my work days be a day where I read and learn more,
and scribble and doodle and practice and play and just allow my mind to be fully expressive
and creative without even wanting to create something.
Often I'll write in journal to record a podcast or I'll write in journal for my own spiritual
practice or I'll be creating something for a book that I'm working on but I want to
just create to create whether anyone sees it or not, hears it or not, finds it or not, even if
it never goes out. And that's really important to me. So that's something I want
to make more time for next year. What's something you want to make more time for
next year? Maybe that you want to work out more, maybe you want to exercise more.
Now about this, you want to make sure that you're not just saying you want to do
more of it. You're actually saying, well, realistically, how often can I do that?
For me, and maybe once a month, right? For me, one day, once a month dedicated to being fully creative
is realistic. What is it for you? This is what it sounds like inside the box card.
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Our 20s are seen as this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, full in love, make mistakes,
and decide what we want from our life.
But what can psychology really teach us about this decade?
I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the psychology of your 20s.
Each week, we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s,
from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, friendships, and much more
to explore the science and the psychology behind our experiences,
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And the fifth question is what's something you want to do less of? What's something that you did a lot
this year? Are you like, I definitely don't want to do a lot of that next year. Like that's something I need to pull back on. That's something I need to let go of. And
for me, this came to me probably in the last three months. And for me, the answer was
TV. I think I've swirled about this a few times, but for 10 years, pretty much, I didn't
watch TV. I watched movies in theaters or at home, but I didn't really watch TV religiously
and I found during the pandemic,
I watched TV a lot of evenings, and that's not like me.
And I started to realize I didn't enjoy it,
I didn't enjoy myself anymore,
I didn't feel like my mind was the place I wanted to live in
and I found that when I was deep in books
or deep in ideas that I feel more connected to myself.
And so for me, that's something I want to do less of.
And I started doing less of it in the last three months
because that helps me transition over to next year
because I haven't been doing it for the last three months.
So I feel pretty confident that I won't let it bleed
into next year.
It's really, really powerful.
Right, what do you want to do less of?
Another question that I want you to ask yourself is,
what was your biggest success this year?
Right now we're getting into that work,
that professional, that purpose.
What was your biggest success this year?
And do you know what I want you to do?
I want you to trace that success back
to when it started,
when it actually started,
even as a connection.
So I'll give you an example.
One of our biggest successes this year for me and Rade was that we launched Samiti,
something we'd been working on for about a year and a half. And launching Samiti was a huge
success. So many of you have subscribed. So many of you have joined the community. If you haven't
yet, you can head over to Samathe.com
and join us, be a part of our team membership
and our community.
It's been so beautiful to have all these amazing,
real flavors out there in the world
with functional benefits and adaptogens.
It's been incredible.
And it's been such a big success.
But listen to this, we launched Samathe this year in fall. Let's go back to when we launched Samiti this year in fall
Let's go back to when we started with the idea for creating Samiti January 2020
Now let's go back to
When I met our partners our business partners in starting the tea company
That happened around three years ago.
And now let's go back to when me and Radie got married and discovered
we both loved tea that was five years ago.
And now let's go back to when we started dating.
And we realized we love tea that was eight years ago.
And now let's go back to when I first was introduced to tea by my own mom
when I was really young.
That's probably like, I don't know,
it's a long time now.
How long ago was that?
Maybe like 25 years ago?
Maybe more.
So in one sense,
Samate has been under construction for 25 years.
In one sense, it's been under construction for eight years.
In one sense, it's been under construction for five years. In one sense it's been under construction for five years. In one
sense it's been under construction for three years and in another it's been 18
months. Now you tell me how long it's been under construction. It's fascinating
isn't it? When you look at how long your biggest win, biggest success this year
has been under construction, it teaches you patience. It teaches you consistent build.
It teaches you connection of ideas.
It teaches you growth.
It teaches you commitment.
It teaches from learning from every part of your life.
I never once believed in my life that,
rather than I would have a tea community and tea company.
It wasn't part of the vision.
It wasn't part of the journey that we thought
of, but it's one of the most beautiful things we've had happened to us this year. It's one
of my biggest, biggest successes, but I want you to look at when that journey started, because
what that teaches you is that you can start another journey this year. When you realize that
one of your biggest successes was years in the making, years in construction. You'll be inspired to start a new one again.
Our desire for things to happen this year now achievable three months targets results
blocks us from starting something new because you think, oh, well, this may take five to
10 years. Well, let's look at it this way. Even five to 10 years, you achieved your purpose
and your goal. Wouldn't that be the best thing in the world?
Wouldn't that be amazing?
Wouldn't that be absolutely incredible?
Wouldn't you love that?
Well, it's possible.
It's really, really possible.
So that's what I wanted you to do with your biggest success.
And now I want you to ask yourself, what is a moment that you felt you felt?
When did you feel you
failed this year? My moment that I felt I failed this year when I realized I was
working on a project, an 11 months went by, and I realized it was meant to be
finished in 11 months, but I realized at 11 months that me and the person I was
working with on, we wanted it to be different things. And that felt like a failure
because I wasted 11 months trying to make it work, not realizing that we both trying to build something totally
different. And I felt like a failure. I did. I felt like God, I just wasted 11 months.
Now I've got to carry on working on this and I've got to carry on building it. And it's
just set me back. But guess what? Something amazing happened. I got another client that inspired me for content for that other project.
And I got that client exactly at the 11 month mark. So that project is now going to be a million times better than it would have been in the last 11 months.
Because I've met someone who I'm working on and that directly impacts that project.
So it's fascinating.
If I would have finished that project in 11 months, it wouldn't be as good as it's going
to be now.
How amazing is that?
Like, genuinely, it's mind blowing to me because I wanted to finish that project in 11
months and it would have been good.
It would have been really great.
But now it's going to be phenomenal.
Look for the blessing.
Look for that crack.
There's a beautiful roomy quote where, you know, the light enters through the cracks.
The crack is where the light enters.
When something's cracking, when something's breaking, look for that light.
Look for that genuine moment of inspiration
and you'll find it, you'll see it.
And it'll be better than what you imagined.
It'll be better than what you expected.
It will be phenomenal.
The next question is,
what is something you want to learn next year?
This is a really beautiful question to ask
because we often focus on goals and I want you
to focus on growth.
Instead of goal setting, I want you to focus on growth setting.
Gold setting is I want to be an author next year.
I want to start a podcast.
Okay, but what's your growth?
I want to learn to be a writer.
I want to learn how to set up a podcast.
Learning how to build a podcast is better than launching a podcast.
And you may say, well, part of learning is launching.
Sure it is.
But at least you want to learn and plan and prepare.
So focus on growth setting, not goal setting.
What is the growth you want to have next year?
When I think about my next year and the growth, I want to have one of the biggest things
I want to learn is I want to go back to
public speaking school drama school. These are things I did when I was growing up and I want to go back
I want to explore different parts of myself in different ways of expressing my purpose
I loved poetry and spoken word growing up
I want to go back and learn that art again and allow myself to be even more fulfilled
by being more poetic with my words
and being able to share ideas and messages.
That's what I wanna learn next year.
And I'm sharing that with you all to be accountable to it.
I'll keep you updated.
And I want you to keep me updated.
I'm gonna keep you accountable
because you're in the on purpose community.
And if you've joined the genius community,
you'll be even more accountable. So really think about that. And now
the final question I want to ask you is, what is your favorite way to refuel? We've
rarely reflect on how did we best rest? How did we best refuel, how did we best feel energized.
And to me, time and time again, it comes to the exercise I did. Working out more and doing a lot
of strength training, I did a lot more weight training this year, just for strength, just to build
genuine inner strength as well. And that to me did wonders for how I felt. I was doing a lot of
cardio for a long time, playing a lot of tennis, but I really found
that the strength training changed how I felt about my body and my mind and everything else.
So that is one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine questions.
And those nine questions will be how you reflect for this end of this year.
And the simple answer to those nine questions will help guide you to your best self.
So I want you to make some time between now and the end of year to just reflect on these nine questions.
I've shared with you my answers, I've shared with you my thoughts, and I really, really hope that you will make some time and don't miss next week's episode.
It's going to be really powerful. I'm excited.
Thank you everyone for listening to On Purpose. I'm so grateful to you for being a part of this community.
We have one more episode until the final episode of this year and a couple more episodes actually
But I just want to say thank you to you and how grateful I am to each and every one of you who have left a review
We have now 17,000 reviews if you have not left one
It would mean the world to me if you go out and leave a review
this one was from
Lacey she says can't stop listening five stars.
That's amazing.
That means the world to me.
And then this one from TIFF says,
you are truly inspiring.
I love listening to you, especially on my way to work
and even throughout the day.
You have made me realize so many important things
that have helped me to start a more healthy lifestyle
mentally and physically.
I appreciate this one.
This one is from Taty.
I just think there's something about Jay's energy
that feels genuine and his voice and tone
has become a place of comfort not to be creepy or anything
lol.
I gravitate towards his authenticity.
That means the world to me, Taty.
Thank you so much.
You know, it's one of those things that none of us
are perfect.
We're always trying to figure it out.
I'm always trying to show up the best I can for you. And I appreciate that you
noticed that I'm trying. And that's all I ask for is that just know that I'm trying
my best. Ritzel says, today's episode was so powerful. I love you, Jay. Thank you for
your mindfulness and constant support, my friend. Thank you. This was from Christina Gray.
I was feeling stuck. I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. Now I understand I
wasn't celebrating myself enough and or celebrating too much
consistency is key a podcast a day keeps the anxiety at bay I love that well
Nicole Maddie Mel Haneye thank you so much for all these beautiful
beautiful reviews I'm so grateful and I will speak to you soon.
Next week, thanks everyone.
Bye.
What if you could tell the whole truth about your life, including all those tender, invisible
things we don't usually talk about?
I'm Megan Devine.
Host of the podcast,
it's okay that you're not okay. Look, everyone's at least a little bit not okay these days,
and all those things we don't usually talk about, maybe we should. This season, I'm joined by
stellar guests like Abbermote, Rachel Cargol, and so many more. It's okay that you're not okay.
New episodes each and every Monday, available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
When my daughter ran off to hop trains,
I was terrified I'd never see her again,
so I followed her into the train yard.
This is what it sounds like inside the box cart.
And into the city of the rails.
There I found a surprising world,
so brutal and beautiful that it changed me.
But the rails do that to everyone.
There is another world out there,
and if you want to play with the devil,
you're gonna find them there in the rail yard.
I'm Denon Morton, come with me
to find out what waits for us and the city of the rails.
Listen to city of the rails,
on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Or cityoftherails.com.
I'm Munga Shatekler and it turns out astrology is way more widespread than any of us want
to believe.
You can find it in major league baseball, international banks, K-pop groups, even the White House.
But just when I thought I had a handle on this subject, something completely unbelievable
happened to me and my whole view on astrology changed.
Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, give me a few minutes because I think your ideas
are about to change too.
Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your podcasts.
you