On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Big Sean: Stop Wishing & Start Manifesting (THIS is the Secret Formula to Making Your Dreams a REALITY)

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

What’s one dream you really want to make real? Do you feel you’re wishing for it or working toward it? In this special live recording from The Met in Philadelphia, Jay sits down with Grammy-nominated artist Big Sean for a deeply vulnerable and inspiring conversation. Big Sean opens up about the battles he faced behind the spotlight, the depression, the pressure, and the moments he thought about giving up. His story shows the power of turning pain into growth through therapy, meditation, and faith. It’s a reminder that no matter what we achieve, we all face challenges that push us to heal, grow, and reconnect with who we really are. Sean reflects on the transformative lessons passed down from his family and how those shaped his understanding of resilience, self-belief, and manifestation. Together, he and Jay explore the difference between wishing and manifesting, showing how intention, attention, and action can turn your vision into reality. They dive into the importance of releasing the pressure to please others, the value of embracing both wins and losses, and how real confidence is built by how you rise up after setbacks. For Sean, the highs and lows are both essential parts of the journey, both carrying the power to shape us. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Turn Wishing Into Manifesting How to Find Purpose Beyond Your Career How to Heal Through Therapy and Vulnerability How to Support Your Children’s Dreams How to Pass On Wisdom to the Next Generation How to Transform Struggles Into Strength Wherever you are on your journey, your struggles are shaping your strength. The setbacks you’ve faced, the doubts you’ve carried, and the battles you’ve fought are not the end of your story, they are the beginning of a deeper transformation. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.  What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:57 Don’t Be Controlled by What You Can’t Control  05:38 Why Losing Teaches You How to Win 06:44 What is the Difference Between Wishing and Manifesting? 09:11 How Do You Turn a Wish Into a Reality? 10:46 Creating Your Own Safe Space 13:21 The Moment You Realize It’s Time to Change 19:38 How to Discover Your True Purpose 24:42 Confidence Is Your Greatest Strength 28:18 The First Step to Building Lasting Confidence 33:25 Transforming Struggle Into Growth 37:20 Being Heard Without Fear of Judgment 43:08 We All Just Want to Be Seen  46:29 Past Present Future with Sean  Episode Resources: Big Sean | Website Big Sean | X Big Sean | Instagram  Big Sean | Tiktok  Big Sean | Youtube Big Sean | Facebook Go Higher: Five Practices for Purpose, Success, and Inner PeaceSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. You know how many people told me it was impossible. I remember one of my teachers told me I was throwing my life away. When I told her that I was thinking about turning down my full scholarship to rap. He's a chart topic, a cultural icon, and a Grammy-nominated artist. Please give it up for Big John. Thank you so much. What's the difference between wishing for something and manifesting something?

Wishing is one thing, but when you put your attention on the end, attention and add strategy to it that is how you get to manifest if someone in the audience is feeling a low sense of confidence what's the first step to building that confidence everyone comes from different walks of life there is no real right or wrong in this life there's only a perspective things can hurt you when you understand yourself more and you appreciate everything you have you start to understand and you don't take things personally you've always been so open about depression and anxiety in a culture and in an art form that may not always allow for it.

How did you find a safe space in doing the career you had and being Big Sean, the rapper? The commitment I made to myself was being authentic and sharing. When I started to go to therapy, as a black man, I didn't know it was such a taboo thing. What you define success as? Whatever you're doing on purpose is your purpose,

as long as it's with the purpose. The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. He won the only. Jay Shetty. I am so pumped to finally share the live interviews from my very first podcast tour

presented by Chase Sapphire Reserve. This next one features a powerful conversation with Big Sean at the Met in Philadelphia, one of the most thoughtful and inspiring voices in music. I am so excited. to be here tonight live at the Met in Philadelphia with the one and only big Sean. Sean and I have been friends for quite a while now. Yeah.

And I'm so grateful that he's here today to be part of my first ever on purpose tour. And I was so grateful that he let me write the forward to his beautiful book. Yes. Go higher. I saw some in the audience. If you haven't got a copy, I love to see it. I love to see it. No, thank you.

If you haven't got a copy, make sure you go and grab one. And it's truly a beautiful book. And, you know, when I first met Sean, I was shocked as to how much self-work, healing he'd done from the beginning of his journey. This wasn't something he'd come into. It was something he'd inherited and started so much earlier. And it touched me so deeply. But, Sean, before we get into that, I wanted to start with what we've been talking about

tonight. And I know you were watching backstage. But we've been talking about this idea about how we're all limited by what we think people think of us. And I wanted to share, I wanted you to share if there was a time in your life where you used to be worried about what you thought people thought about you and how that blocked your creativity and your spirit. You know, I used to let the things I can't control, control me. You know what I mean? And it was very conditional. It was something that it's impossible to be successful in the business of pleasing everybody, like to something that you might as well

let go of now. And if you do please everybody, you're probably not going to be pleasing yourself. You know what I mean? So I do feel that, especially in entertainment, and when you get an opportunity to be, you got to understand, like, since I was 10, 11 years old, all I wanted to do is, like, be a rapper. I was, like, the only thing that I, like, wanted. And I did super good in school. I come from, like, a family of scholars. My mom is an English and social studies teacher. My grandma first of all my grandma was like one of the first female black captains in world war two so she was um yeah all right p and um she was like in that uh the six triple eight where the tyler peri made a movie about she was like a part of the six triple eight so it was quite a

you know i had quite a grandmother but she she to her education was the way to a better life you know what i mean and my granddad was also in world war two and so i was somebody who i always did good in school, you know what I mean, like just out of respect. But I always knew that music was what I wanted to do. And I had an opportunity to, like, go to school or to pursue music. I'd go to school on a full scholarship as well. And I chose the music thing. And the beautiful thing, though, about my grandmother, my family is that even though I did the opposite, they still supported me. And as a dad, now, I see how important it is to not control your kids, or in that case grandkids,

but to support them and to, you know, give them the fuel to say, hey, you could do anything you want to do. Like, you know how many people told me it was impossible. I remember one of my teachers told me I was throwing my life away. When I told her that I was thinking

about turning down my full scholarship to rap, she was like, no. She was like, do not blow it. You know, and it took so much faith and so much trust. and you know that trust it's like you the letter you is right in the middle of trust and you have to trust yourself it's like you are the one and that is like right in the middle of that trust and it was just I can go on and on about the story but to fast forward a little bit

and that's what this book is like honestly I'm not trying to sell my book to you guys that like it's not doing being shameless plug but this book is like the wisdom of like my whole family the whole, I was lucky enough to have, like, family members like my mom who introduced me to meditation, introduced me to strategize and told me, like, look, if you really want to make this happen, visualize it, meditate, close your eyes, like, you write it down, journal it out, you know, and it really, I mean, it really made the world a difference. I would not be sitting here talking to Jay Shetty if it wasn't for that. And that's the whole point of writing the book. And when I did my first interview with him, he was like, yo,

you got to write a book and I was like I mean that's something I want to do later on and you realize how fleeting and how not promised life is and that when you have the wanting of something when you have the desire I don't even like using want that much because it acknowledges that I don't have it I like to think that I already have it when you have a desire when you have a passion for something just do it as soon as you can because nothing is promised we think we have this concept of time like, oh, I got to like, I'm old. Like, that's not all the way true. And that's not a bad thing. It's really not a bad thing. It's just, it's actually beauty in that. So for me, that's what this book is. It's just kind of like for people who may not be clear enough to how to get

to the next part of their lives, people who may feel stuck, people who, you know, we all go through the ups and downs of life. And I feel like this book is a great book of strategy to just, you know, something that I can't wait for my son to read or pass on to people. You know, so I'm really thankful for you for helping me do that, man. It means a lot. Yeah. I felt it immediately when we first spoke. And I wanted to ask you the difference because I think...

Oh, sorry, but I didn't answer your question about controlling. So my bad, I went off a little bit. Let me answer that real quick, quickly too. I won't take, like, too much time. Yes, there are times where I did feel very controlled and trying to do, you know, the idea of what people wanted me to do, and it was very depressing sometimes, and sometimes it worked out. Sometimes it was like, oh, thank God, I listened to you. But at the same time, it doesn't feel the same as when you just listen to yourself. You got to let go of the idea

of succeeding and not succeeding. You got to understand that it's all just a part of the same journey. It's all like, you know, you may learn more about winning by losing. You know what I mean? It's like if the sun was sunny every day, you wouldn't even appreciate it. It's the storms that make the sunshine so much more. It's the yin and yang of it. But it's something that you should definitely keep in mind. Yeah, I was thinking about it as you were talking,

we were talking about dreams earlier, and, you know, everyone in this audience got dreams, got ideas, got visions of what their better life looks like. And I wanted to ask you the difference between wishing and manifesting. Yeah. What's the difference? Because I think a lot of people are trying to manifest, but then they're not seeing it.

And a lot of people might be wishing. So what's the difference between wishing for something, wanting for something, and manifesting something? Wow. That's a very good question. I think the difference between wishing something and manifesting something is one is an idea, one is a dream, one is a concept. The other one is everything that you have accumulated in action. When you manifest something, you are in the middle of it. You may not even realize it's happening, but I always like to think of the energy of already having it.

It's like, to me, that's already manifesting. It's like, it's the difference between being like, you know, I really want that car. That's like wishing it to being like, man, like the steering, like you can like smell it. You know what I mean? When you psych yourself out because your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference. between what's real and what you are feeding it or what's real to you. So that being said, when you meditate and you visualize yourself on a beach, which you're feeding the sand, your subconscious mind, which to me is the relationship between

you and God or the universe or whatever you believe in, of manifesting. It's one of these books I read a long time ago, and it was talking about how when you speak there's these like crystals in water and when you speak to it positively the crystals become these beautiful looking like snowflakes and when you speak to it negatively when you say all these like you suck you know all these things like that it like the crystals like look like damaged rocks so you got to understand if it has that effect on water what are we 70% made of water right so it's really the power you know when you manifest something it's like the power it's like the power of your subconscious, it's so important to really focus and feed that.

Even if you don't, even if you technically, your logical mind doesn't believe it, if you just keep feeding it, you'll see that you're a walking magnet. It's going to show up in your life one way or another, I promise you. I love that. I love that insight. And I was thinking about it as well. I feel like manifesting is being in love with the process and wishing is being in love with the result. Ooh, I love that.

When you're manifesting, right? Like, when you're manifesting, it's what you said. You can smell the car. You're thinking about the work you're going to have to do to get it. Yeah. You're dreaming about waking up every day and putting in the time because you know where it's going, but you're obsessed with the process. The process. And wishing is just like, I can't wait till I have it.

I wish I had it. Why did they have it? I don't have it. They don't deserve it. And it becomes all about the end. And the problem with that is it just feels further and further and further. away and out of reach, right? Yeah, especially when you don't put a strategy

to the wishing. And I think once you put the strategy to the wishing and the attention on your intention, that's what turns it from wishing to manifesting. Yeah. Say that again, that was good. That was good. You said it too fast. I forgot what I said. You were wrapping it. You were wrapping it. Yeah, no. I was saying that, you know,

wishing is one thing, but when you put your attention on the intention and add strategy to it, that is how you get to manifest and that's the process. I love that, yeah. Everyone write that down. Intention, attention, attention, and strategy or action. Like, adding those three things together, that's manifesting.

Intention, attention, and strategy and action. That's manifesting. If you're trying to build something in your life. Yeah. Sean, what I love about you is that you've always been so open about depression and anxiety in a, culture and in an art form that may not always allow

for it. Like generally you think of hip-hop and rap and music in general to be like on your side to be tough to be strong. You know your battle rapping, it's bravado, it's you know, and I love hip-hop, you know that. Yeah, of course. But there's that energy to it because

a lot of people here are also looking for their voice to have a space to feel vulnerable. Like a lot of people earlier were saying we're so grateful that this is a space we can be vulnerable. Sometimes sometimes when you go to work, sometimes when you go to your family, you don't have a space to be vulnerable. So what was, how did you find a safe space when it wasn't easy in doing the career you had and being Big Sean, the rapper? How did you do that? Where did you find

that space? Well, I don't think it was a safe space. I just looked at it as like, it was like, for me, it was just the commitment I made to myself to being real, to just like being authentic and sharing, you know, when someone asked me about it and, you know, when I was going through those ups and downs, like expressing that on the song, you know, especially the song I have deep reverence with me and Nipsey Hustle to the late great Nipsey Hustle RIP.P. It's just being open about it

and I didn't know it was such a taboo thing as a black man as like any of that, like even talking about like therapy. My dad, so my dad, he's from Monroe Louisiana. And he used to get caught on the wrong. Yeah, shout out to Louisiana. Okay. Yeah. He would get caught on the wrong side of the train tracks and get beat bad for us sometimes. You know, it was in a, around the civil rights time, like real bad times down there for him sometimes. And he even had a speech impediment. Like he had a stutter when he was growing up that he was able to overcome. But my point being is that when I started to go to therapy, it inspired him to go to therapy. And he was like, I didn't know. no one told me you know one of the things he said and I didn't really it means so much he was like man I love learning from it's awesome when I can learn from my son and now that I have a son he teaches me

he's only two years old but I learned so much from him I just I just feel like that that's how the natural progression of it goes you know what I mean but when I've initially shared like how I was feeling I don't know if it was what's a quote unquote a safe space it just it's just the the route I chose to go, you know. Yeah, it just needs to come out. Yeah, it just needs to come out. Sometimes what you're saying is don't wait for a safe space because it may never come. It may never come.

And so you just got to kind of create a space where you can start talking about it. Who is the first person you opened up to deeply about it? Do you remember that? Was it a therapist or was it someone else? It was my mom. It was my mom because we, as close as I am to her, her, like me and her relationship, like, started taking a real terrible dive when I was just some, like, overdoing it with my career, meaning that, like, I gave up all my hobbies.

I was just, like, strictly working because the concept, when you come from a city like Philadelphia or a city like Detroit, it's like, oh, you got to stay on their necks, you got to stay hot, can't let the opportunity slip away. You can't be one of those people that almost You know, and even though it was like, oh, you have a number one album, another number one album, this, that, like, it just never felt like it was all the way locked in. And I think that's because I was looking at it the wrong way. And I'll come back to that. But I remember just burning myself out and I was on tour in Europe. I'm not going to say who, but somebody came up to me and was like, man, you should try Adderall, right?

And I was like, okay, I never wasn't really familiar with Adderall like that. He's like, oh, you know, college students do it. Like, he was lying. I'm a very smart person, too, and he was like, it's just some like salts and thing. I'm like, I wanted to believe him and I took it. And, you know, I'm not prescribed it. Like, I don't need it, per se. And I was able to get more work done, though.

I was, like, able to get more. And I was pushing myself more. And I noticed that it was, like, really tearing my insides up. Like, I looked like I was on drugs. You know what I'm saying? Like, hardcore. Like, I looked like. Like, just not myself.

And anyway, I kept doing it because it was working. I was seeing results. I was getting a work done. I had another number one album. I was able to finish it and do another project with, you know, with Janae. And we did a side project. And then another album. And I was just like, and then I did another album that same year with Metro Boomin.

And it was just like all of these things. But I really paid the price when I hit like rock bottom. And I went to the studio. and I realized when I didn't have Adderall, I felt like I couldn't do it. I couldn't make music without it. And that's when I realized I have a problem. I was like, I have a huge problem, and I stopped it immediately. And I couldn't think of anything in a depression.

You know, I didn't realize that the synthetic dopamine that was being created in my brain from that, when you shut it off, when you have a synthetic version of it, your brain stops making natural dopamine. So you're totally screwed. I'm talking about you are like, I like had a gun to my head. I was like ready to blow. You know, I had like my dream house in Beverly Hills. I had all these things like beautiful, a beautiful life, unimaginable. And I wanted to take it away because my mind was really playing tricks on me and had me thinking that I was someone that I wasn't.

And that's when I opened up to my mom and I had not been talking to her because I feel like I didn't deserve. I feel like I didn't deserve to talk to my family. It was the weirdest psychological twisted games I was playing with myself. And I remember she suggested all these things, like, you know, a good mom does. And she ended up coming out and spending time with me and, like, help building me back up. And that's when I really started realizing how connected the body is with the spirit and with the mind. And, you know, I started working out.

I started seeing a therapist. I started slowly getting back into music. I had to literally let go of everything I was doing because just taking a phone call, just taking a meeting was just too much for me. And I crashed out. That was when I realized how bad I needed to change my life. And I think we all kind of come to a point in our lives

where we go through that in our own ways. It's like late 20s, early 30s, maybe late 30s. And you probably, probably a few times in your life where this happens to where it feels like you're going to, a wall is going to fall on you. And you either have to climb over it or are you going to get crushed by it, you know? And it really feels that life or death. And therapy helped me so much. Being able to talk through with someone and unload that amount of emotion and that amount of reality helped because sometimes when you do it with your friend or your family member, it stays between y'all. And then it's like, well, shit, they're going through their own stuff.

You know what I'm saying? And it's kind of awkward, you know, when you get to like spilling your deepest secrets or like, mom, I had a gun in my head. You know, I don't want to like talk to her about that. And it took me some time, but you know what? I believed. I have faith in myself. I trusted myself.

And that was one of the deepest time where I had to connect with my spiritual self, my faith. And I have a great relationship. with Jesus Christ and with God and a great relationship with myself. You know, I rediscovered myself. I tried new hobbies. I was like jumping out of airplanes and like going to the gun range and just trying all new things that I hadn't tried before and really watching anime.

Like I'm a huge like anime lover and I just connected back with myself, you know? Thank you for going there with the depths of, yeah, go for it. Absolutely. Thank you. Go for it. You don't want to be silent. I love doing this with you. I feel like I should do every podcast with a live audience.

Yeah. I just want to take a moment to say how much this means to me because usually I spend my time with a camera or when we're in the studio and we've recorded multiple times in our studio together. But sharing this with all of you and having all of your energy here is giving me energy. So I just want to say thank you to you all for.

Yeah, for laugh, clap, cry, whatever you want. Like, that's what this is for. but first, here's a quick word from the brands that support the show. All right, thank you to our sponsors. Now let's dive back in. You know, one thing I do want to say not to cut you off, Jay, is that, you know, I was just looking at your mic and it's on purpose. And one of the things people always ask me,

and I want to ask you this question, too, how do I find my purpose? I love you, Jay. I love you, too, Jay. I love you, too. How do I find my purpose? How would you answer that? I'm going to share a meditation later that I believe we'll do that. But in order to give a spoken answer that doesn't come through within,

I would say that your passion is for you and services for others. And so when you use your passion in the service of others, it becomes a purpose. So when you have something that you're passionate about, right? When you have something you're passionate about, could be anything when you have something that you're deeply passionate about and then you use it to improve other people's lives that's what a purpose is but a purpose doesn't have to be your job it doesn't have to be what you do every day it doesn't have to make you money it doesn't have to make you famous it doesn't have to get you followers your purpose can be something you do on the

evenings and weekends your purpose can be something to do that you do take care of your children your purpose can be so many things. Yeah. And I think we limit ourselves because the world today, you think about this for a second, maybe like 50 to 100 years ago, no one would have asked the question, what do you do as the main question of conversation?

Right. Today, that's the number one question because who we are defines our worth. We live at a time where you say your career and it defines who you are and what your worth is in society. but that's not how God designed us. That's not how the community designed us.

In the past, you'd be a farmer and a storyteller. Yeah, that's right. You'd be a mom and a doctor. You'd be a carer and you'd be whatever else it is. And so I think we need to look at our purposes and this and that. And stop thinking of our purpose as a job title. Stop thinking of our purpose as a promotion. Stop thinking of our purposes.

You know, what does our biography say on Instagram? I'm like, because I really don't like it when everyone's like, so what do you do? And I'm like, I don't want to say podcast. There's a million podcasters doing different things. I'm an author, but that's not who I am. That's not my purpose. Same as you. You're an author.

You're a rapper. You're an entrepreneur. You're a father. Yeah. Some people ask me, like, how do you find your purpose? It took me a while to answer. That was an amazing answer, by the way, man. That's like right on.

And I think a lot of people tie their purpose in with their career, right? They'll be like, well, I got to find my purpose because I got to find my way. I got to find out how to, you know what I mean? And I realize that your purpose is what you're doing on purpose with purpose. It doesn't have to be, like you say, your job. That's a, it can be. There's no outlines to it. It can be.

Your job can be your purpose. Your hobby can be your purpose. In fact, I feel like one of my purposes is to be a son. One of my purposes is to be a father. Whatever it is because it's whatever I'm doing on purpose is my purpose. You feel what I'm saying? Like, it doesn't have to be so defined. And that's one thing that.

I'm so glad you brought that up because I feel like there's a lot of pressure around that word as well now. It is. Because it's got linked to our careers. It's got linked to our jobs. of pressure around purpose. There's a lot of pressure around purpose. And it shouldn't be that way because you're absolutely right that your purpose today could just be to be present. It could be your purpose for today. Whatever makes you happy, whatever you're doing that you feel in your heart, whatever makes you smile, whether, you know, going to the movies could be your

who knows, like whatever it is that does it for you. That whatever you're doing on purpose is your purpose, as long as it's with the purpose. Sean, I was thinking about as we were talking about that, you've been talking about being a father, and I wanted to ask you, it feels like it's had a big healing impact on you, and I feel like it's got you to upload it. It's had a lot of impacts on me, yeah, for sure, you know. I have a two-and-a-half-year-old, so I don't know if anyone knows what that's like. He's the sweetest, most amazing kid.

He's like an enlightened being, you know what I mean? So he teaches me all these things without trying. So I'm just, I'm appreciative of him. I'm embracing the unknown because as he keeps growing, he keeps surprising me. So I don't know what it's going to be like. He's only, I can't believe we're only two and a half years in. It seems like he's, I can't even hardly remember what it was like without him at this point. So, you know, that's how much of a presence he is in all our lives, for sure.

I want to shift the question that people usually ask, especially young kids, going back to our previous conversation about purpose, people are always like, oh, what do you want him to be when he grows up? What do you want him to do? And I want to shift it. I want to ask you the question, what quality, if you could choose one quality

that you really want to know where to have when he grows up, what would you want that quality to be? His confidence, he has so much confidence. That's something that I had to gain along the way. You know, my parents came from two families that they didn't really have. the confidence growing up. They didn't give me the confidence because they didn't have it. They would always, like, I'm confident that I will always have whatever it is I need to be the

person that I strive to be. I will always have enough. It's enough for all of us. And that was a concept where growing up, my mom and my dad both were like, oh, you got to work real hard, you know, money, oh, money doesn't grow on trees, you know, it's not fair out here. You know, these are the type of things that they would tell me, and that's not true. That is an experience. And they have also learned that that is actually not true. I know all these saying sometimes like stick with us, right? Like money doesn't grow on trees, this and that. And, you know, I saw my mom crying over these bills and, you know, me crying and, you know, growing up. And it motivated me. But one of the things they were always telling me, like, even when I got my license,

my mom was like, make sure, like, you take your hat off. make sure you wear your hat to the front, you know, when the police officer, if you get pulled over, make sure you have both hands on the wheel, you know. And these are things that a mother should tell a black man in America, especially in a city like Detroit, you know. And so I understood it. And there's a lot that comes with that, but I think that I had to gain my confidence. And one thing that he has is his confidence, and I'm just so proud of him for that. And, like, he is literally the evolution. That's why it's important for you to work on yourselves for your family members.

Even whether you have kids or not, your energy is contagious. It's going to spread to your group of friends, your work group, your family, your kids. And especially when you have a family, it's like your DNA is like a computer chip. It like has all this information in it, right? So it's like it's important to heal your trauma because you're passing it on. on. It's important to heal your gut and your liver and all these things because you're passing, you're genetically passing everything on. They're the, they're parts of you and your partner combined, right? So I always looked at that and it taught, that's one of the things

my son taught me is that, okay, he'll smile like my grandmother or he'll smile like Janais's grand, you know, it's like little things like that. And I realized that my grandparents I always, one of the things when having a kid, I was like, I wish I could talk to my granddad and like ask him for advice. I wish I could talk to my grandma, you know, all these people that aren't here anymore.

And I realize I can because the information is in my DNA. I just have to go within and really lock in. And the answer is there. You know, and that's something to always remember that we always think that the answers are out there, but really the answers most of the time

are right where you are. That's actually the concept of the alchemist, one of my favorite books as well. Yeah, that's real. That's real. That's so powerful. You just gave me chills when you said that. That idea that we always wish we could talk to this person or that person,

but their history lives within us. That's a really, really powerful idea. That's why when people say, well, I'm living through you, you know, something my dad always says, he really, that's for real talk. People are living with us and living through us at all times. Yeah. And that's why we've got to be so mindful. to what we pass on. If someone in the audience is feeling a low sense of confidence, low sense

of self-esteem, a low sense of even self-worth, maybe they've been told they're not worth anything, maybe they've been made to feel like they're not enough. What's the first step to building that confidence as an adult? Like you said with your child, he already has it, Noah already has it. You had to build it over time. I had to build it over time too. What was that first step in building real true deep confidence? The first step was to understand that everyone is going through something. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a condition.

So I remember when I was 19 years old and it was a transitional time where I decided to do music and turned down my scholarship right and a year had gone by. And I was a depressed person. It was my first battle of depression because things were going my way yet. It was God's timing, but you know, you try and control the timing of life, and it's like, good luck with that. So anyway, I remember I stopped to pump some gas at a place my mom told me never to stop. And I was visiting my girlfriend at the time that went to Michigan State. And on the way from Detroit to Michigan State, there's a place called Howell, Michigan,

and it's like one of the KKK, like, it's like one of their headquarters, like not too far from Detroit, which is one of the blackest cities in them. It's like crazy, right? Jux position. I saw the exit. I had to get gas. And it was like, you know, when you see the gas station right off the freeway, and it's like, I could, I be straight if I just go right here and pump gas. And I got, immediately I got off and I pulled up to the gas station and like this pickup truck pulls up. And they're like, you nigga, you negative. I was like, what? I was like, it had me like super just like damn like for real like that that's where we at like just 2000 and whatever you know so I'm like for real like I thought it was like a joke almost and later on as I was

learning more about myself I'm like I don't know what type what type of stuff they had going on like what their upbringing was like what their parents are like what they could have been abused they could have just not understood the concept and understood who I am as a person, right? So it takes a lot of growth, but my point is to say, how do you build confidence in yourself? Because that's a moment where my confidence got beat to the ground. I felt like crazy, inferior almost, you know? How you build your confidence up is you start to understand and you don't take things personal. Don't take things personal. You don't let things, things can hurt you. You just see, obviously, I'm like still emotional about that time.

because it was such a pivotal moment for me. It's not because it's hurtful to me. It's because it was a pivotal moment in my development as a man that nothing like that could ever affect me anymore because I understand that everyone comes from different walks of life. You feel me? They don't think they're wrong. They think they're right.

As wrong as it is to me, I had to realize that there is no real right or wrong in this life. There's only a perspective. You know what I'm saying? So... In my perspective, I think it's wrong, right? But not from theirs, but point is when you understand yourself more and you appreciate everything you have and you start building up yourself mentally, when you start to understand that,

okay, some people will just talk smack about you for retweets or for whatever or for, to be funny, you don't take things as personal and that builds up your confidence when you get to know yourself more and more and when you know that you are unstoppable. We have the power of a whole universe in us. I say that because when you look at it, you think of all the stars in the sky, that's exactly how all our atoms are in our cells and our bodies. They make up this like magical type of miracle that's going on in us, right? That we have like completely taken for granted. But it's like we have what it takes to create anything. We're like products of God. God is in all of us, right? So just remember that, that you do, you can, you will. You know, if that's what

you believe, you will make it happen, whatever it is, whatever. Nothing is off limits. If it was off limits, you wouldn't even think of it. You wouldn't even, it wouldn't even be a thought to you. I just want to get that out there. Yeah, I love that. I love that take on confidence because I believe confidence comes from noticing how many hard things you've done. and how many hard things you've been through, like that moment you just spoke about. That's not an easy moment to live through. And like you said, I can see the emotion in your eyes

and I think everyone can feel it, but it's like when you notice that, see, since we were young, we were only taught in school to notice what you did well, what you got right. You weren't taught to notice how you did hard things. And I promise you, in this room, each and every one of you has already done

ridiculously hard things maybe you live through the death of a loved one maybe you live through a divorce maybe you found yourself after a breakup maybe you were broke and found yourself out of that or maybe you're in it right now

in one of those transition moments and I've found that those moments of pain unlock your greatest potential because when you can see yourself at that moment and you can see that you've lived through it so start collecting start noticing how many difficult, hard things you've done. I remember, I don't think I've talked about this before,

I remember my mom saying something crazy to me. I was going through a really hard time in my early 30s and a really, really tough time. And I was on the phone to her. And my mom does not say motivational things to me. My mom doesn't say demotivational things to me, but she doesn't say motivational things to me. And my mom doesn't give me advice.

I don't go to my mom for advice. I love my mom, and I tell her I love her. and she tells me she loves me and she just wants to know what I ate for dinner, right? Like, that's my relationship with my mom. Well, that's the way of her saying she loves you, right?

Yeah, and she loves me to bits. Like, she loves me. Her love has been a shield in my life. But I'm on the phone to it, and she's like, how's things going? And I'm like, you know, barely vulnerable with my mom. And I was like, mom, you know what?

It's just a tough time, you know? But I got my head down and working hard. And she said to me, well, you're used to dealing with stress. And I said, what do you mean? Like, you never said this to me before. Like, when did you become a motivational speaker like what do you mean and she goes she goes you've been used to dealing with stress and i was like what do you mean like you've never said that to me before and i never share my stresses with my

mum like you said like she's not the person i'm talking to and she goes well you dealt with so much stress even when you were in my womb because of what i was living through at the time she said that to me and i was like i was half in tears the other half was like full of like confidence it was like one of these moments of just like as if like my whole self were just like locked back in together and obviously I don't have any memory of that I was a fear of course yeah right and it's like but what's really fascinating is you've done hard things even when you don't remember them and you don't know that and it's so important to remind yourself and it's so important to remind the people you love that they've done hard things because when you realize you've done hard things you can do harder

things in the future you find confidence within them so please today look back and at the things you've broken through, things you've worked on, the hardships you've been through and celebrate your resilience as a human. You don't need to wait to become strong. You already are. Yeah, embrace it.

You already are, yeah, embrace it. Embrace it. I want to, thank you. I want to pivot slightly. This is something we've been trialing and it's been beautiful. And this is a real opportunity. So only say yes.

Only raise your hand if you really want to honor this opportunity. We've been talking about stop caring what people think. We've been talking about doing hard things. We've been talking about becoming more confident. We've been talking about taking your moment. Seeing as we have one of the greatest of all time, one of the best, big Sean on the stage,

I wanted to ask you all, if there's, and I mean this for real, if you truly, truly mean it, if there's a spoken word artist, a poet, a rapper in the audience, who wants to come on stage for 60 seconds and spit some bars for us, so that we can experience their greatness. If you really want this opportunity to be your moment, I want you to raise your hand

if there's truly a poet or a spoken word eyes. I'm looking at the back. Is there anyone at the back? Yes, this hand high. I'm just looking around. Stand up at the back. Anyone at the back? There's one there.

Anyone else? I just want to make sure. Yeah, I see someone up there who's standing up. I want to get someone from the top. Is there someone back there? At the top, yeah. Only if you're going to honor the opportunity. Don't steal the opportunity.

from anyone. You're pointing at him? Come on down. Come on down. Yeah. You know, Philly has like some of the best musicians. That's what I thought. That's what I thought. Of all time. I wanted to, you know. Before we dive into the next moment, let's hear from our sponsors. Thanks for taking a moment for that. Now back to the discussion. Okay. This is about being in a bad relationship. So, a real bad one. Okay, here we go. All right.

Why do I still love you when you throw beer in my face? When I feel like you don't listen or care what I have to say. Why do I still want you even though you blame it all on me? When you send me brutal messages and constantly threaten to leave. Why is it I miss you when all we seem to do is fight? Why is it still you I want laying next to me at night? Why do you come to me with your issues when I can't come to you with mine? It's because you listen to idiots all day with their preoccupations and whining.

This was a therapist. Why is it always my fault when I know you play a role too? Why am I always begging and why can't for once it just be you? Oftentimes I want to give up and just throw the towel in. But I don't and I love you, but not enough to wish I didn't. Oh. Thank you. Hear it up for a long day, everyone.

So, I'm feeling good. Yeah? Just very nervous. Of course. That's understandable. That's okay. I listen to your podcast, so I also, I like to motivate people. Okay.

Thank you so much. Because in life, we're supposed to inspire those that need to be inspired and everybody needs to be inspired you know we all go through life having problems and trauma and issue but deep down inside god is there and i'm nervous on stage but every time i used to get on stage there was always nervousness and someone that deals with ADHD and bipolar and you know that's a survivor of many things every single one of you out there are special and y'all have something inside of you and I also rap I got a little bit something stay focused I never hopeless everything I do I move with motion should aboard a ocean

pills and potions what's all the commotion thought we were moving let's go this is past sense This is my man, and Mesto, like Michelangelo. I said, hello. Picture me. I said, sit down by the lake. Plant me by the sea, deeply loving the rain from above. So my mom and dad, I love you. We had some fallouts, but I had no doubts that this is the light that God has called me, too.

I'm making new revenue with the old and the new. Way up, I feel blessed. Yes. Amazing courage to come up here and go through that. It's nerve-wracking when you actually get up here and you see everyone. Yeah. You look around and, you know, you can't find it in your phone. And that's the reality.

Yeah. That's the reason why I wanted to do that. And we've done it at a couple of shows this week is it's the reality because the first time you do it, it's never going to be perfect, you know, like you're going to be shaking, you're going to have your phone where you can't find it, you're going to be scared of the mic, you're going to be worried, like that's the reality and the beauty is, people just feel your spirit, right? People just feel your energy. I think you felt that when you heard Morgan, you could relate to what she was doing. It was beautiful.

I really love this concept she was saying too. First of all, you were the whole book on, you know, relationships and love and pertaining to that. And I wanted to ask you, when you are, per se, in a relationship with someone, right, that isn't beneficial for you, right? And it could be abusive in some ways, depending on how you look at it. Like, you know, how Morgan was describing her poem, like, what advice would you give to anyone who is dealing with a relationship of that, that they just can't seem to shake? And, you know, the funny thing about that is, like, she even said it in her poem that as bad as it is

and you separate it's like you keep craving it back and I wonder why that is like why do you keep craving it why do you only remember the good things why do you kind of like put all the red flags to the side and you know

I feel like that's a great question to ask you yeah thanks for that Sean I appreciate it not in that I didn't mean it like that you know

no no you know when I think it comes to love the hard part is we all want to be seen. Sometimes the tough part is, this is the truth, actually. I'm going to go a bit deep on this because I feel you deserve it and I feel you all crave it and want it from me. And so I'm going to say it how I really see it. The moment you recognize that no human can truly see you

the way God and you can see yourself, you're free. Because that was never their job. It was God's job. Like when you recognize that you're the only person, you and God are the only people that really know everything you've been through, everything you've lived through every emotion, every breath, every moment you spoke,

every moment in silence, every single moment, the only person who's documented that is you and God. And so when you free people of the expectation to understand you, fully see you, fully comprehend you, you free yourself of having to do that for everyone as well because you know you don't have the capacity either. So what it does is it creates greater trust and faith in the divine and yourself

and it creates greater compassion for others. And I think that's what we're all really looking for. we just all want a bit of grace from the people that we love that we can't understand perfectly. We all want a bit of compassion for not always showing up as our best selves even when we try

because we know we're all trying but we don't always meet that mark. And so if we can offer more grace and compassion to others and we can offer more trust and surrender to ourselves and God, I think that's where real love starts. Yeah.

And honoring yourself too, right? You've got to really honor yourself. and that like the strength it takes sometimes to drastically change your life is nothing more drastic than when you have to change someone you spend so much time with by choice not because they passed away not because of anything else but because you need to better yourself and the strength that takes is nothing to like downplay or anything so I think that comes from all it all comes back from working on yourself right and like really being confident in a for yourself and all these things we've been talking about to be strong enough to be you

because sometimes when you're in a relationship you lose parts of yourself and you guys kind of become this one thing together. It's kind of like a factory when all the lights are on and sometimes you shut off certain parts of yourself and like this gets shut down and that gets shut down and you're kind of just a fraction maybe of like the person you were. So the beautiful thing is, is when you recognize that and you split from someone and you turn on all these other parts of yourself and you're like the full version of you, I think that is the best version to bring to a relationship. And that is how, you know, it shouldn't be one half make a hole. It should be two holes make something greater. You know what I mean? So. Absolutely. Well said.

Thank you. Sean, you've done the final five before on the podcast. I want to end with one last segment with you. We call it past, present, future. And behind you're going to see a picture pop up in a second. Can we get the first, please? That's back. Oh, that's, that's young Sean right there. That's a little Sean. Yeah, I was, I was a point guard for my school, and we actually won a championship in the eighth grade in our league. And, you know, everyone thought, like, all the parents would be like, he doesn't look like he's in eighth grade, but I look like I'm in eighth grade to me. Yeah, that was, man, that was some good times right there.

What advice would you give to that younger past self of yours in eighth grade? Just have fun. Get out your head so much. Just have fun. And like, you don't realize how young you are when you're that young. You know what I'm saying? Of just being carefree, no bills. No, like, I would just say have more fun.

Have more fun, man. I love that. Yeah, quit being so hard on yourself. All right. Let's get the second picture. This is you today. Oh, yeah. I want to ask you, what do you need to hear right now?

What are the words you need to hear right now in your heart and mind? The thing that popped in my head, which I like to go with naturally, as simple as it is, is that it's going to be fine. As a man, we always, I don't want to characterize all men. And I don't want to say this doesn't apply to women as well. It does. I can only speak from a man's perspective, though, that we try and be the head of the household and, like, provide and all these things, and it puts a level of responsibility, which is something that I embrace. And in turn, always has to have me do the self-work I know to, like,

not let it turn into anxiety and to not let that turn into depression, because I can't afford that you know i don't that's something that i'm keeping far away from my good energy and vibes but the thing that starts is the worry and it's kind of what i would tell my younger self is what i would tell myself now is to it's going to be fine no matter what happens it's going to be fine this one i've been doing for all my friends this week with the help of AI with the help of AI i've been surprising all my surprising all my friends this week uh so How old do you think you were there, Sean? Wow.

I would say, like, my dad's age, like 70, two, three. My dad looks good for his age, so I would say, like, around that. Your dad looks great. When you're that age, what do you hope you define success as? Fun. Fun, having fun. You got to have fun with it, and that's one of the biggest pieces of advice I could give to anyone, is whatever you're doing just you can make it fun you got a job you hate you got things that are

the worst part of your day quote unquote the worst part you can make it how you approach something literally changes the whole experience of it and that is one of the things like when you are like we were talking about going through hard times like embrace that like not only embrace it celebrate it because that is just proof that you are experiencing parts that are growing pains, that you're growing into something, right? And that you're not in alignment with whatever it is you're going through. So just appreciate that because that, like I said, I said this before, like that's just an indication that you're meant for something greater, you're some different, something more. And that's exciting. You know, life isn't all figured out for you. I mean,

how boring would that be? You know what I'm saying? If everything was just right in front of you and you knew exactly how I was going to go, like embrace that unknowing. Don't let it tear you down. Don't let it be a fear-based way of thinking. You know, remember fear is just false evidence appearing real.

Don't feed into it. You know what I'm saying? Like, have fun, make it fun, and know that anywhere you are on earth, that's where you meant to be at. And you can have a good time with all the money, with no money, with all the, whatever, with all the friends, no friends.

Like, there's always a way to have a good time. So that's what, I feel like that's what older me. That's probably what would be on my heart. And, you know, if I'm lucky enough to make it to that. Give it up for Big Sean, everyone. If this is the year that you're trying to get creative, you're trying to build more, I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin

on how to break into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead to success and the secret to genuinely loving what you do. If you're trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you. Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value. Like, as an artist, if you like it, that's all of the value. That's the success comes when you say,

I like this enough for other people to see it. This is an IHeart podcast. Thank you.