On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Claudia Oshry: How to Stop Letting Your Body Image Hold You Back & Build Lasting Confidence

Episode Date: February 12, 2025

Do you ever feel held back by body image? What’s one thing that instantly boosts your confidence? Today, Jay welcomes Claudia Oshry, a comedian, podcaster, and social media personality. Claudia is the co-host of the extremely popular podcast "The Toast" and has gained a large following on Instagram for her relatable and often self-deprecating posts. Claudia has been open about her personal life, including her struggles with body image and her journey to motherhood.  Claudia opens up about the misconceptions surrounding her online persona, her journey with Ozempic, and her decision to embrace motherhood. She discusses the challenges of vulnerability on social media and the importance of self-acceptance and living life on your own terms and finding fulfillment.  Jay and Claudia share their personal experiences with weight and body image, revealing the societal pressures and internal struggles they have faced. They explore the complexities of Claudia's weight loss journey and decide to use Ozempic openly in the public eye. Claudia shares her personal transformation and the newfound confidence she gained through her weight loss journey. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Overcome Misconceptions     How to Embrace Vulnerability            How to Deal with Weight Stigma     How to Build Confidence     How to Find the Right Partner     Remember, it's okay to seek support and share your struggles. Embrace your true self, live life on your own terms, and never stop pursuing your dreams. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there! What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:27 How It Feels to Be Misunderstood 04:57 Protect Your Own Peace  06:56 What is Fat Camp? 08:34 The Struggle of Losing Weight 12:38 Responsible Use of Ozempic  16:20 Struggle with Self Image and Confidence 19:36 How Does Getting Pregnant Feel? 24:18 Getting Ready to Start a Family 30:46 Friends Change Throughout Your Life 33:08 Choosing What to Share About Your Life 39:45 Becoming a Content Creator 42:45 Learnings from the Corporate Life 46:16 Building a Brand as a One-Man Team 49:26 Smart Advice for Content Creators 52:49 Just Get Started 55:08 Stability is Beneficial in Running a Business 58:04 Running a Business with Family 01:01:44 How to Record a Good Episode 01:03:27 Know When to Listen 01:07:11 The Worst Type of Humor 01:10:46 Greatest Lesson from Grief 01:14:50 The Girl with a Dead Dad 01:18:37 The Dangers of Exposing Children Online 01:21:30 Claudia on Final Five  Episode Resources: Claudia Oshry | Website Claudia Oshry | TikTok Claudia Oshry | Instagram  Claudia Oshry | Youtube Girl With No Job: The Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst MonsterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get emotional with me, Radhie Devlukya, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry. We're going to be talking with some of my best friends. I didn't know we were going to go there, Amna. People that I admire. When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what's going on. Authors of books that have changed my life. Now you're talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy, right? Never forget, it's okay to cry as long as you make it a really good one. Listen to

A Really Good Cry with Rali Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Captain's Log, Star Date 2024. We're floating somewhere in the cosmos, but we've lost our map. Yeah, because you refused to ask for directions. In Space Jam, there are no roads. Good point. So where are we headed? Into the unknown, of course. Join us on In Our Own World as we uncover hidden

truths, navigate the depths of culture, identity, and the human spirit. With a hint of mischief, one episode at a time. Buckle up and listen to In Our Own World on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust us, it's out of this world. Hey, I'm Gianna Predenti. And I'm Jemay Jackson-Gadston. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. There's a lot to figure out when you're just starting your career.

That's where we come in. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in people who do, like negotiation expert, Morrie Tehary-Pore. If you start thinking about negotiations as just a conversation, then I think it sort of eases us a little bit. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, everyone, it's Jay Shetty, and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can see my on purpose podcast live and in person. Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to inspire growth, spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to see you there. Tickets are on sale now. Head to jshetty.me and get yours today.

I think a lot of people let their weight control their lives. I didn't think that I was capable of changing, and now I know I'm capable of that. Like, bitch, I can do anything. Like, I really can. She is a multi-talented entertainment personality. I hope everybody's having a gorgie bargy Monday. The one, the only Claudia Oshry.

What do you feel is the biggest misconception about you? I felt so misunderstood by people. I remember getting married and being like so angry that my dad wasn't gonna be there. When I was struggling with my self image, I feel like I'm gonna cry now, sorry. The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty.

Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the place you choose to become happier, healthier and more healed. Today I'm excited because I'm actually speaking to someone who is my team's number one pick. My team will only want to show up for Michael B. Jordan, Lewis Hamilton, and Claudia Arshri. I'm not kidding.

I'd love to see women in male dominated fields. I'm not kidding. My team are the biggest fans of today's guest. I was lucky enough and grateful enough to go on her show, The Toast, the hit show, award winning, incredibly huge, huge, huge podcast called The Toast last year. It is genuinely the thing.

Whenever I get stopped, people are like, I heard you on The Toast, I loved it, I loved it, I loved it. So I am so excited I get to return the favor today with Claudia O'Shree. Claudia, thanks for being here. Oh my God, best intro ever, do it again. I'd be happy to, I'd be happy to. It was genuine, it was honest, and... I love you, by the way. Like, when we met, I'm not gonna lie, I was like a little,

I'm like, who's this guy? Because I wasn't super familiar. I read your book and I was like, okay, let's see what it's about. I feel like sometimes when someone becomes really known with a lot of celebrity friends, it can be like a little smoke and mirrors. And I was like, honestly, I'm suspicious. This guy's coming in. And you were so kind the second you walked in. It was very disarming. I was like, oh, never mind. I take back. Like I love him. And we had such a great conversation. And I actually loved so many things about your book because your book was like really heavy on relationships. And I just loved it. And ever since then,

I've just like loved you. Oh, that genuinely means the world to me. And you made me feel so comfortable that day because I was like, guys, like you guys, I was talking to my team and I was like, you guys listen to her. And I was like, I'm not cool. I'm not funny. I was like, how am I going to fit in? Like, how's this going to work? And they were like, no, no you guys, I was talking to my team and I was like, you guys listen to her and I was like, I'm not cool, I'm not funny. I was like, how am I going to fit in? Like, how's this going to work? And they were like, no, no, no, she's going to be wonderful.

And you were and you are. And I'm so grateful that I now get to do this back. So let's dive straight in. Okay. Because you just said something to me. I wasn't going to start it, but you just said something to me. And I wanted to ask you like, what do you feel is the biggest misconception about you?

Oh, wow, that's a good question. I don't know if I would say there's one misconception. I would say like though largely, and there was a period a few years ago, because I remember writing about this in my book where I felt so misunderstood by people and I feel like unless you were watching my podcast every day and listening to everything else thing that I said, you didn't really get me. Cause I feel like I come off as like a lot of different things. So like a little crazy, a little outlandish, but I feel like the person

that I really am as like a sister, a wife, like a little crazy, a little outlandish, but I feel like the person that I really am is like a sister, a wife. I feel like kind of gets lost in the mix sometimes. I like to think, I'm like, and I'm always like joking about how funny and sweet and kind and beautiful I am, but I really do believe that about myself. And I feel like just because I always lead with like humor and a little bit of like outrageousness,

I do feel like that softer, very what I think is genuine, gets a little bit lost. That's so interesting. I mean, I can relate in so many ways. I feel so misunderstood so often. And it's because we have a view of what a spiritual person or a teacher or a guide looks like. And I think I'm just trying to be people's friend.

I'm trying to be the person who's just reminding you something. Yes, I feel like your job title definitely, like you lead with that and people have conceptions about that before. And I feel the same way like coming from a comedy space, especially when you make jokes that like sometimes are a little, you know, people are like, oh, she's crazy, she's radical. And it's just like, I'm actually just a girl. Like I'm just a girl and nothing makes me happier than making people laugh.

And like sometimes I take it a little far, but like it's funny, it's funny. What's a big deal? Yeah, and that's why for me as well, it's like I want to help people. I want to make people feel better. I want to introduce people to great ideas and insights. It's not, it doesn't have to be heavy. It doesn't have to be like everything.

I also love soccer and love fashion. Enjoy. And love, you know, just I'm a normal human being. And it's like, I love that balance. And I think that's how I see myself as someone who has these very nuanced interests and hobbies and everything else. But I think naturally we're kind of forced to be in a box.

Yeah, right. You can be both. Yeah, you can be both. 100%. I still believe that. I feel like I'm so hard and I'm so soft. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. At the same time. At the same time. And I feel like I'm so hard and I'm so soft. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. At the same time. At the same time.

And I feel like I'm always leading, obviously, because what I do is just try to make people laugh, which I love. So I'm always leading with that. And I do feel like my sort of sweet, sensitive side, and I'm very sensitive, I feel like I don't show that a lot. And I don't want to show it that much,

because I feel like on the internet, it's so toxic. If you open up about a vulnerability or something, people throw it back in your face and they use it against you. So I'm also really protective of my own piece. Wow. When did you learn that you had to do that? I feel like when I first started opening up, I feel like the first thing I really opened up about, because I share everything on the internet and it's not hard.

I don't feel like I'm digging deep to share. I'm a nat... If I meet you for the first time, I'll tell you my life story. That's just how I am. So I've never felt like I was sharing something that I wasn't feel like I'm digging deep to share. I'm a nat, like if I meet you for the first time, I'll tell you my life story. That's just how I am. So I've never felt like I was sharing something that I wasn't comfortable sharing until I shared my journey with Ozempic,

which was so personal to me. And I got a lot of support for it, but there were also people, you're stealing drugs from diabetics, literally no I'm not. And there was like a lot of, there's a lot of discourse around that. Do people who struggle with their weight need medication?

Are they stealing medication from diabetes patients? So I felt like scared to share that. One, cause I think the emotion I felt most was like I was really embarrassed that one, I'd gotten myself to a place where I required a medication. And two, I did feel a little pushed to share just because it was so obvious to people that I was on it. And you know, everybody, nobody would let me live.

They wouldn't let me sleep for five minutes. They're like, she's on a stomach, she's on a stomach, she's on a stomach. And when I did share, I'm ultimately so glad that I did, but I didn't feel at first like it was my choice necessarily. That always feels harder. Yeah. Yeah, when you feel like you had to share something because there was already so much talk about it.

Speculation. And now when I look back, I wish I shared sooner. It's like the greatest journey I went on. I have so many positive things to say about it. I think when I tell people, it makes them feel like a little less embarrassed about their journey. Because look at me, I'm so fabulous and even I did it. And I wish I did it sooner and I loved every minute of the journey.

But at the time, I was so embarrassed. Like that was just the emotion I remember feeling was like pure shame. That's, I mean, and that sounds like such a hard place to be. We actually interviewed, I interviewed Johan Hari, a good friend of mine who wrote the book The Magic Pill. He's on Ozempic and he's gone and done all the research from the biggest experts in the space and the naysayers in the space. And so for anyone who's looking for a very research guide to Ozempic,

he was brilliant and he talked about it from so many different perspectives. But going back to what you said, one of the first things that I think is so hard for people is how society has made people feel shameful about their body in general. I mean, you've talked before about, I saw that, I actually couldn't believe this existed,

but you've talked about going to Fat Camp. Oh yeah. Like I'd never heard of that. Best summers of my life. We never, I've never heard of that living in- It's so American. Growing up going to Fat Camp. Oh, yeah. Like, I'd never heard of that. Best summers of my life. We never, I've never heard of that living in... It's so American. Growing up in London. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, first of all, explain to me how you can get away with calling something Fat Camp and what is Fat Camp? Well, actually, at the time, I believe they were going by Weight Loss Camp. Not that it mattered. Like, colloquially, it's called a Fat Camp. Right. And yeah, so I went to summer camp my whole life and when I was like...

I feel like maybe I was in like the sixth grade. I don't remember how old I was. My older sister was really struggling with her when I never struggled with my weight as a kid. And, you know, my parents tried a lot of different things. And one of the things that they tried was sending her to like a summer camp that was focused on physical fitness. I think what people think of as a fat camp,

like a fat farm where like the kids are up every day, pulling tires up hills. It wasn't like that at all. It was a very standard all-American summer camp with fitness and diet just sort of at the forefront of meals and activities. And all my sisters went to support my older sister and we ended up having like the most amazing time. We went back. I never went back to the old camp that I had originally went to. We went back every summer. It was the greatest experience of my life. Some of my best friends I still talk

to to this day from camp. And so I know how it like sounds and looks to other people, but for me it was just such a regular camp experience. But I also wasn't on the program. So for any of the summers that I spent at a weight loss camp, I was actually never struggling with my weight. So I would wear this special bracelet that just let everyone at the facility know like I'm not on the program.

And then it turns out, you know, the second I left camp, I actually started to struggle with my weight and I really could have used a weight loss camp. I'm not on the program. And then it turns out, you know, the second I left camp, I actually started to struggle with my weight and I really could have used a weight loss camp. Wow. I mean, so what was that like then in the beginning years? Because I think what's interesting, as we talk about Ozempic,

to me so much of it is about how we're conditioned since we're young. So I grew up overweight. Oh, did you? Yeah, I was overweight until I was about like 15, 16 years old maybe. I can't picture it. And yeah, I'll show you pictures.

I would love to see. I will, I will. My wife has plenty of embarrassing pictures of me. And she was as well. Oh really? Yeah, she was as well. Let me tell you, people who have never struggled with their weight are not people, not that there's anything wrong with them, but they're not people I can relate to.

I feel like struggling with your weight makes you such a real bitch. Can I curse on here? Yeah, you can. I feel people who have struggled with their weight, they know real struggle. They know being uncomfortable. Like I just feel I, when I meet someone and they've struggled with their weight, like I automatically know they're like, they're my type of person. Do you know what I mean?

That's why I'm sharing my... It creates such a resilience. Like you're serious, especially as a kid. Oh my God. Yeah, it's huge. I mean, like I remember the bullying, the name calling, the awkward thing of trying to pull myself out of a swimming pool and not being able to, like...

So real. You know, moments like that where you're just like, oh gosh, this is the worst thing that could have ever happened. And then being forced to wear Speedos at school. I... So British. And then... Yeah, not in America, right? No, never. That's our version of Fat Camp.

Yeah, we're like, you have to wear Speedos. That's terrible, actually. Yeah. And so, when I look's our version of Fat Camp. Yeah, you have to wear speedos. That's terrible, actually. Yeah, and so when I look back at all of that, I think about how much shame, guilt is already set up just in our perception of what it means to be overweight. And now you're talking about feeling shame of going on a Zempik, which you're taking to do the opposite. Well, it's like you can't win.

I used to get so much backlash and messages like that. I'm setting a bad example that I live in unhealthy lifestyle. So then I take control of it. And like I start changing my life and now I'm, you know, running diabetics over with a bus. Like you really can't win. So you just have to do what makes you happy. And going on that journey made me really happy.

It was like the first time in my life where I ever felt in control of my weight. Like since I'm like, I started gaining weight in college. So since I'm 18, I, it was the craziest feeling. It was so foreign to me. And I think a lot of, especially girls who struggle with their weight may be able to relate to this. Like I was always a confident person even when, you know, I was struggling with my weight and I was always really happy in my own body. That was like something I really worked on. I think a lot of people let their weight control their lives, whether it comes to work or personal relationships.

For me, I was never going to let it stand in my way, but that didn't mean that I didn't like that I liked it. Like I loved myself and I loved my life, but deep inside, I always wanted to be skinny. So when you're an overweight girl, like you wake up every day and you think about like you look, you pass a mirror, you pass a window, you're thinking probably a hundred times a day about like the inevitable day when maybe one day you will be skinny.

So Ozempic gave me that. Like, and to achieve a lifelong dream that you never think, and I know it sounds so dramatic, but to achieve a lifelong dream that you never think is gonna come to fruition is the craziest feeling. And that's why I really felt so compelled to share my journey

because at the time when I shared it was 2023, I think maybe around the end of the year, oh no, it was like the summer, there was so much negative stuff out there about Ozempic, like the Daily Mail, every time somebody ended up in the ER with a headache, it was Ozempic's fault. And I just felt like everybody was being made fun of

for being on Ozempic. And no one was really talking about how life changing it is. And especially as like a girl who always wanted to be a mom, I was like, I can't ever get pregnant at this weight. I have to lose the weight before I can gain the weight. So it just gave me opportunities. It gave me a whole new life and I felt so compelled to share because it bothered me how negative everything was

about this journey. Like we were all supposed to feel shame. Like the amount of negative media representation, negative mentions of Ozempic, like was supposed to, I think, shame people into not doing it. And I was like, I don't feel like, and I think that's why Oprah did her special too.

Her special was really powerful because she's somebody who's benefited enormously from it and you don't hear those stories enough and it makes me so sad. So ultimately it was the best decision I ever made. Going on it and also sharing the journey. But at the time, I just wish people had given me like a little bit more space to process it. You know?

Did you ever worry about the side effects and what you... Because I'm guessing you're thinking about those things as well. Yeah, of course. So when I... When it was first brought up to me by my plastic surgeon, I was like super intrigued. Then I spoke to like my primary care physician about it and both of them were really like down and excited and they wanted me to do it. So I felt really good like knowing that my doctor supported it. And that's why like I didn't share from day one because one, what if it didn't go

well? Two, it doesn't work for some people. So I make this whole big thing I'm going to do and then I don't even lose the weight. There were so many factors at play, so I couldn't share from day one. And then when I started to drop significant weight, I was just then feeling embarrassed. That's why I didn't share. I was like, wow, my life got to a place where I'm so out of control, I need medication to get me to stop eating.

And that's what I loved about Oprah's special, was she really dived into the illness, the disease of obesity, and how it's like, telling someone to stop eating is like telling a depressed person to just be happy. It's really not in our chemical compounds. So I felt like the whole journey I was learning about myself, I was learning about the disease,

I was learning about the medication, and yeah, of course I was worried about side effects, but after a couple of weeks, when I had minimal nausea, and it went away pretty fast, I felt like this was the right drug for me. Yeah, and then what was it that decided to get you off it? Oh, well, I had lost the weight and I feel like I was on it for a year. And the first six months, I just kind of let the drug do its thing.

I didn't change my life at all. I was still eating crap. But that's how the drug works. You eat crap, but you eat half. So I was losing weight. And then halfway through, I was like, now that I've kind of gotten my life a little bit under control, let me actually try and change my life. So I joined the gym, I got a trainer, I started working out, I started eating way healthier. So I did the journey like in two parts. One where I just kind of let the medication run me, and then

where I use the medication as like a tool to change my life. And I really wanted to see if I could do it without. And I also knew that I had wanted to get pregnant sometime soon and you have to be off the medication for a minimum of two months. So I got off of it in December of 2023. I knew in the next year I'd wanted to get pregnant and I kind of wanted to put as much time

between being off the drug and starting my journey. And I wanted to see like if I could keep up with my working out and my eating well regimen without the drug and I was able to. And that's like one of the things I'm most proud of. Because like, and I never would have been able to get there if it weren't for the tool of Ozempic and all those GLP-1 medications. Wow. And how did you, how has it changed you?

Because you, like you said, you're already confident, you already liked yourself, you knew who you were. What's changed? I mean, I'm insufferable now. Like, no, I think that so much of my confidence was... Like, I really had to work at it. Do you know what I mean? It was, I don't want to say fake, but I just remember one day waking up

and like deciding to be confident. And slowly by slowly, brick by brick, I built up a sense of confidence that really, it was real, but I do think it was built on a foundation of like kind of lies. And now that I like really changed my life, I felt so confident, but I also felt so confident that I was capable of change. I think for many years, I'm such a stubborn person.

I didn't think that I was capable of changing anything, let alone this huge thing for me, which has always been my weight, which has kind of been like my Roman Empire. So I think the fact that I successfully changed something in my life, something bad and turned it into good, like that... And now I know I'm capable of that, like, bitch, I can do anything. Like, I really can. I love that attitude.

But how did you build that energy before? Like, I don't want to take away from the fact that even though you say you were faking it, obviously it was working in that you were still doing well. It seems like you were comfortable in your own skin. Like, what would you say to someone who maybe doesn't have, doesn't want to go on a Zempi because they're scared or whatever it may be,

but like, what would you say with them? So I feel like people don't like my answer because when I was like struggling with my self image, I feel like I'm gonna cry now, sorry. So much of my confidence, I would say like all of it, came from the fact that I had a husband or a boyfriend at the time, Beyonce, who loved me so much and he thought I was like

the greatest thing and so if he thought it, and look at him, like I just, I love him so much and so he thinks I'm so great. Like that's not that you should get your confidence from a man, whatever, but like I did. Just to be loved so unequivocally by somebody who I think is so great, that gave me a lot of confidence.

Like he thought I was the best. He thought I was the smartest. He thought I was the prettiest. So like I was, cause his opinion is the only one that matters. But also, like, I look at him and I think of him as like so charming, attractive, like who wouldn't want to marry him? And he likes me?

Like, oh my god, I must be like the greatest thing ever. And I really feel like so much of my confidence. And it's so funny because he says that he gets confidence from me, which I feel like really happy that it's a two-way street. But having a relationship that I felt really solid about, but also somebody who just loved me so much, really, it just made me believe like what he was saying. Do you know what I mean?

What's interesting to me is just so much of how, whether it's body shaming we do to ourselves or that society does to us, how so much of it is built up around aesthetics and visuals and how health and vitality are actually not based on simply visuals. No, but I will say visually, like if you were to just compare me visually now and me visually then, like I was very unhealthy. Like I had a lot of random medical issues that like a 25-year-old girl shouldn't be having. So I agree with you that like a lot of times

we judge people's health based on their weight and that's not the case for everyone. But to be clear, like it was the case for me. Like I was not healthy, I did not walk to work. Like I was really like living a very inactive, unhealthy lifestyle. That's not the case for everyone you see who's overweight, but that was 1000% the case for me.

Yeah, and now what's the new schedule? Oh, bitch, well, now I'm pregnant, so it's kind of reverted back, but so not pregnancy-wise. I just really lead my day with little pockets of activity. I think that going to meetings, going to work, I'm always being like, okay, I'll walk. I worked out, before I got pregnant, I worked out three to five times a week.

I would spend my weekends doing things that I enjoy whilst being active, like going for walks in the park with Ben, just like making sure that I wasn't rotting in bed as much as I am capable of, because I am capable of a great deal of rotting. And then with meals, that's really where I probably struggled the most, but just trying to be a little bit more well-rounded. I feel like I eat like a six-year-old.

And so I do like I eat rice and chicken fingers. And so just changing sometimes to like brown rice and grilled chicken, you know? Thinking a little bit more. But it's hard because I'm such a picky eater that, you know, I'm not going to be making Bronzino on the weekends with like a tapenade, you know? That's never going to happen. I don't even know what tapenade is. And then, I mean, as I'm hearing you speak, I'm just like,

is there a... A lot of people talk about this right now, like this idea of when you become pregnant, is there like a loss of the life you had? Oh my God, 100%. Like, is there a feeling of like, wait a minute, just a few moments ago, a few months ago, I was...

I would say I don't feel, I really, I mean, I've been married for a hundred years and we decided to wait to have kids. And I think that because we made that choice, I am now not spending my pregnancy and, you know, hopefully the next year or two mourning a life. I feel like I lived life to the fullest and I really really waited till I was ready. So the only thing I feel like I'm mourning is my body. Like that nobody talks enough about like what it's like to lose significant weight and then get pregnant. I don't know how I feel about it. I don't have like fully fleshed that out. I'm like struggling every single day. But no I don't I don't have like fully fleshed that out. I'm like struggling every single day But no, I don't I don't feel sad about like a life left behind

I feel like I lived every minute of my 20s like on the edge of cliffs going on trips Partying like doing everything I wanted to do and when I turned 30 over the summer I was like, you know what? I'm done. Like I really feel and that's what I'm so happy about Cuz yeah, I like see my friends with kids and I'm like, oh I do wish I had like, you know joined them because yeah, I like see my friends with kids and I'm like, oh, I do wish I had like, you know, joined them. But I feel so fulfilled in that one chapter of my life that I'm really ready to start the next chapter. What was the reason for putting kids off in the beginning?

What was the intention? It was mostly career. I've been working since I'm 18 and I just could not fathom taking time off. And I don't know, it just really scared me. It doesn't scare me so much anymore. But also the weight thing played a... I could not fathom at my previous weight getting pregnant. I think it would be a high risk pregnancy, one and two.

Like, I think it would take me to a new weight, a new category that I might not be able to come back from. So I always knew I had to figure it out before. And Ozemp came to me at like the perfect time. Yeah. I think the first thing you mentioned, I relate to that as well. Obviously me and my wife don't have kids yet and we'd love to one day, but I think a big thing for me also was I was very clear on who I was when we met and

things were kind of going in the right direction for me. And then my wife, I was like really patient and I really wanted her to find her purpose before we had kids. Because I wanted her to know who she was and know her identity and have clarity on her worth and her value and everything before we have a child because I just felt I was like, I want her to also live a life. And what that looks like in the past couple of years, she's just like blossomed and grown.

It's been so fun to watch. And it's like, now I'm like, yeah, now, you know, from when we're lucky to have children. It's more, you can conceive it, right? Totally, yeah. And that you're coming at it from a point of like, I know who I am without anything. Yes.

And I think that was so important to me for her. I already had it myself. And also the career thing, right? Like as a woman, it's not like you give birth and then you go back to work. It's like a two-year thing from conception to the end, till you really start to feel like yourself again, especially when your job is being public and people have so much to say about your body.

I don't necessarily, didn't want to put myself through that. I really wasn't ready for it. So I cannot recommend enough waiting till you're really ready. And I know that that's a privilege, but I am so pleased with how it's worked out so far. And I'm really, really glad that I waited because I remember I always used to say, like I wanted to have kids when I was 25. And I remember sitting on my friend's couch

and I was like drunk and he was like, by the way, like when do you want to have kids? I'm like when I'm 25. And he was like, how old are you? I'm like 25. So maybe when I'm 26. And I don't know, I've always always known, I love kids, like my niece and my nephews

are my whole life. Like I've always known that I wanted to be a mom. And then I started to get a little worried because I didn't feel it. I'm like, oh crap. Like I was so annoyed at the biological hawk and I was so annoyed at COVID. It like took two years for me

that like maybe if COVID hadn't happened, I would have been living my life those two years and been ready when I was 28. But I was like, crap, no. And I got a little worried that I was never going to be ready. Because I know it's something that I want. And that's why I feel so grateful that I very naturally came to to the conclusion that I'm ready. My husband was amazing about like if I had said to him five years ago, let's have a kid, he'd say, OK, if I said to him this,

like he was really let me lead, which I so appreciate he never put pressure on me to either wait longer or hurry up. Same with our families, nobody really tortured us about it and I know a lot of girls get endless harassment from their parents and their in-laws. I didn't get that and I'm so grateful because I really came to the conclusion on my own. So no, I don't look around and I don't look at social media

and see people on trips and flying out of planes and think, oh, I wish that was me. I don't look at social media and see people on trips and flying out of planes and think, oh, I wish that was me. process alone. We're going to go over how to regulate your emotions, diving deep into holistic personal development and just building your mindset to have a happier, healthier life. We're going to be talking with some of my best friends. I didn't know we were going to go there, Amir. People that I admire. When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what's going on. Authors of books that have changed my life.

Now you're talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy, right? And basically have conversations that can help us get through this crazy thing we call life. I already believe in myself. I already see myself. And so when people give me an opportunity, I'm just like, oh great, you see me too. We'll laugh together, we'll cry together and find a way through all of our emotions. Never forget, it's okay to cry as long as you make it a really good one. Listen to A Really Good Cry with Rali Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

In a galaxy far, far away. No babe, that's taken. We're in our own world, remember? Right. In our own world, we're two space cadets. And totally normal humans.ets and totally normal humans. Sure, totally normal humans. Embark on a journey across the stars, discovering the wonders of the universe one episode at

a time. We'll talk about life, love, laughter, and why you should never argue with your co-pilot. Especially when she's always right. Right. And if we hit turbulence, just blame it on Mercury retrograde. Or Emily's questionable space piloting skills. Hey, join us on In Our Own World for cosmic conversations, stellar laughs, and super corny dad jokes. Listen to In Our Own World as a part of the MyCultura podcast network available on the

iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't worry, we promise to avoid any black holes. Most of the time. Hi, I'm Essie Cup, and I've spent the last 20 plus years knee deep in politics in the news. I've covered some really tough subjects from war to genocide to six presidential elections, way too much Trump. You know what? I need a break, like a mental health break from the news, from the triggering

headlines, and I kind of suspect some of you listening out there might need a break too. So my new podcast is going to be just that, a fun and loose space where I talk to my famous friends and people I admire about all the stuff that consumes us when we're not consumed by politics. I did not really rebel in the 60s. I had no sex in the 70s.

I made no money in the 80s. So when true crime came along, I missed that trend too. So many great guests are joining me from Josh Mankiewicz to Larry Wilmore to Molly Jong Fass to Josh Gad. I'm so excited that you have this platform and I am just like hoping that I don't destroy the platform in its earliest stages. Listen to Off the Cup on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your favourite shows. Walk me through that internal dialogue of like,

how do you get to that place of feeling ready? I think so many of us are waiting to feel ready in life. Whether it's waiting to feel ready to start a podcast, whether it's waiting to write your book, whether it's waiting to have a kid, whether it's waiting to get married, and you're just waiting. Yeah.

But we never feel ready for most of us. I know. Walk me through we never feel ready for most of us. I know. Walk me through what you feel being ready means. I feel like jealousy is a really powerful emotion. And I started to feel like I might be ready to start a family when I would hear about other girls that I knew, friends, people telling me. And up until that point, when people would tell me, I would be so happy for them. I would cry, like really genuine.

And I remember the first time, it was like December of 2023, one of Ben's friends who his fiance, excuse me, wife is one of my good friends. They told us that they were pregnant and I was so happy for it, but like I was a little jealous. And then I was like, oh, that's interesting. And that's why I feel like it's so important

to like listen to yourself and be able to identify emotions. Cause I was like, okay, let's shut that down. I told Ben, I'm like, by the way, I'm a little jealous of Natalie. He was like, oh, that's great. And that was in December, I'm like, by the way, I'm a little jealous of Natalie. He was like, oh, that's great. And that was in December, that was actually when I decided to get off of Zempik. And I was like, okay, good to know.

And then I just started listening to my feelings. And when other people would tell me, I'd be like, damn, now I'm starting to feel a little left behind. And so really it was my own emotions that told me I was ready. And I've always been very good at identifying my own emotions and thinking, how does this make And I've always been very good at like identifying my own emotions and like thinking, how does this make me feel?

Am I pissed? Am I happy? And that's really, I would say how I knew. But it was a struggle. It feels like you're someone that always knows you're ready though. Cause you got what married at 23? Yes, I got married very young. I got engaged.

Me and Ben met when I was 18. We got engaged when I was 21. So we dated all throughout college and then 23. Yeah. When I got married. How did you know Ben was the one and you were ready to get married then? It just wasn't even a question. Honestly, I would've gotten married sooner.

Like, I know it sounds so crazy, and it is. But we met when I was 18, so I was a freshman in college. And then when I was a senior, I wasn't allowed to get engaged in college. It was like, girl, get a degree and then we could talk. So I graduated in May, and then Ben and I got engaged in June. It was, I know it sounds, it was four years. I was like, bitch, I'm degree and then we could talk. So I graduated in May and then Ben and I got engaged in June. It was, I know it sounds, it was four years. I was like, bitch, I'm ready. Like, let's go.

Like I knew like from day one that Ben was love my life. It took him, I want to say like three months to know that I was a love of his life, but it's okay. Some people, you know, we're all on our different journeys. We all have our own process. I'm you and my wife's Ben. Yeah, no, I try not to like hold resentment. I'm like, oh yeah, no, I remember that time.

You didn't think I was so cute. You're like, no, I try not to hold resentment. I'm like, oh yeah, I remember that time you didn't think I was so cute. I'm like, okay, you don't like me. I don't know, I just knew, and it's so crazy because when I'm 18, I'm 30 now, so there is a huge part of my life where Ben isn't a factor, but I don't even remember. It's like before Ben and after Ben. I don't remember... It's weird if I'll tell him a story and he wasn't there. I'm like, ew, where were you?

I actually feel like we're related, and we might be, but whatever. It's the craziest thing. I can't really explain how I knew, but I think when we first met, I was so excited to have a boyfriend, because I loved watching movies growing up. I'm like, oh my God, I'm literally Cher from Clueless.

I finally have a boyfriend. And I was so obsessed with the idea of having a boyfriend and the fact that there was this person who wanted to spend time with me. And I was so excited about it. And then I boyfriend and like the fact that there was this person who wanted to spend time with me. And I was so excited about it. And then like I feel like our relationship, we really grew up together.

So the longer we were together and the more time we would spend, it was like becoming abundantly clear, like we really had the same values. And we really are the same person. And it's so funny because Ben is so funny, but he's married to me. So it's like, good luck.

And I would say if he had married anyone else, he would be the funniest guy in every room. But's married to me so it's like good luck. And I would say if he had married anyone else he would be the funniest guy in every room, but people say to me people have known Ben for like three years like by the way Ben's funny I'm like no I know but he can't get a word in with me. He's just the best and I honestly I know it sounds so crazy to have gotten married so young and when we were getting married I grew up in a modern Orthodox Jewish community so it really wasn't that crazy. Most of my friends have been married around the same age

as me, but when I would meet people, regular secular folk, they would think it was so crazy. And I remember being offended when people would say that. I'm like, you don't know me and Ben, you don't know. But let me tell you something, the older I've gotten, the more I learned, we were crazy. We've changed so much, you know? And when people say like not to get married young,

like they're right for that. They're saying it for a reason. I think that the way it worked out for me and Ben is really not how it works out for most people because I'm so different. Oh my God, I used to be so annoying if you can imagine it. Like I was just such a different person and so was Ben, you know, I was like very insecure and I don't know, I just was weird.

And I grew up, I think, into a person that's amazing, but I grew up to be somebody a little different and it's possible that I would have grown into somebody that Ben didn't like and it's possible that Ben would have grown into, he was 21, that he would have grown into somebody that I wasn't particularly into. But we really made a conscious choice

to grow up together. So I understand why people said that and they were probably right for that, but we're different, sorry. We just are, we are. No, I think that's a really fair point. And I think even, Radhi was 25 when we got married, I was 28. And even that is somewhat, it's still, you know,

it's a little younger and it's like, it's the same for us. Like we were sure, you know, it worked out for us, but I would say I knew myself very well. Riley knew herself enough at the time. She's definitely grown. I've kind of stayed the same. And so there is a sense of like,

sometimes you get lucky and you're fortunate and you're blessed and it's beautiful. And sometimes it can be really hard and crazy. And I think what I'm hearing from you is just like, it's not an issue if, whether you're the rule or the exception or whichever one you think you are, the point is just be thoughtful about it. Like, because you don't want to rush into something too young.

Yeah, I also think Ben's a really patient person and I definitely did not know who I was, literally until I would say a year or two ago. And I think I led with that sort of insecurity and he was very patient with me. And he was still dealing and growing with his own thing but I don't know if in those early years if I was the best version of myself

and I think that he really saw in me my potential and was very measured and really patient. So it takes two people to tango and he definitely is the kinder patient one in the relationship. And I'm a little bit more like rough around the edges, if you can imagine. And he... I would attribute a lot of our marital success to him. I love how much you love Ben.

He's the best. Yeah, it's amazing. I can't wait to meet him. Oh my God, you've never met him. He's downstairs, obviously on a call. Like, let me tell you, my husband is always on a call. I don't know who the hell he's talking to. Literally this morning, he doesn't answer the phone for 40 minutes. I'm like, where are you? He's like, I'm. He's downstairs, obviously on a call. Like, let me tell you, my husband is always on a call. I don't know who the hell he's talking to. Literally this morning, he doesn't answer the phone for 40 minutes. I'm like, where are you? He's like, I'm walking the dog. I'm on a call. Who the hell are you talking to?

I can't. No, it's lovely to see how much you love him. Like, it's really beautiful. Thank you. I will say, like, one other reason why you shouldn't get married young is I have oddly made so many lifelong friends much later in life. And these people weren't even at my wedding. It's the weirdest thing. And some of these bitches at my wedding,

like, girl, I don't know you, get out of here. And they're like in my pictures and shit. Also, I wish I had waited, because if I had been on Ozempic at my wedding photos, I would have been a lot happier with the end results of the pictures, but that's my fault. That's my fault.

No, I can so relate to that. I'm at that stage where I've got a lot of friends who are older than me, and they all are renewing their vows right now. Right. And they literally were like, Jay, you weren't at my wedding, but I love that you're here. How weird? Because friends change so much from when you get married to...

So much. And I feel like there's a point in your life where like you have made all of your friends. And 21 was not that for me at all. Yeah, because you haven't worked enough, you haven't lived enough. And so many of my best lifelong friends are people I've met through work. Hmm. How does that work? I, like, some of my best friends, like Brian and Taylor, like, I met, they were guests on our show.

You meet a lot of people and, like, you know, the reputation of podcasters, content creators, influencers, like, is what it is for a reason. Like, some of them are insufferable, but some of them are just like the most fabulous people you'll ever meet in your entire life. And that's my friends Brian and Taylor and they were not at my wedding. And sometimes I'll think about that and I'll be like, I shouldn't have waited.

Yeah. I should have listened everybody. Well, you can renew your vows. I know, but you know, they do say that's a curse. I don't know if that's just for the Real Housewives, but every Real Housewife who has ever renewed her vows ended up divorced. Really? Just a fun fact.

That's a fact. Yeah. Wow. So you don't plan on... I don't know if it's a fact, but it's a fun fact. So you don't plan on... I don't plan on renewing my vows. Also, I feel like vow renewal is like an inherently non-Jewish thing.

Like Jewish people don't renew their vows. I don't know a Jewish single Jewish person that's renewed her vows. Oh, interesting. Yeah. I don't know if it's like in the Bible or anything. I just feel like it's not culturally Jewish. Interesting. Got it. Okay. I understood. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I don't know if it's like in the Bible or anything. I just feel like it's not culturally Jewish. Interesting, got it. Okay, understood. Understood, yeah.

It's a... I guess, yeah, I'm always trying to convince Radhika that I want to do it. And she's like, yeah, of course you want another wedding because you didn't plan the last one. Oh, I'm so with her on that. Although the only reason I would do it was to get new pictures because I was so ugly at my wedding. It's kind of like one of my biggest regrets.

I think Radhika would do it for new pictures, because she wants, even though she looked absolutely gorgeous, she's still... She's evolved. Yeah, yeah, she wants to change it out. But I guess they are, it's a time capsule, you know, it's a moment in time. Yeah.

Not a moment I want to remember. I couldn't be more excited to share something truly special with all you tea lovers out there. And even if you don't love tea, if you love refreshing, rejuvenating, refueling sodas that are good for you, listen out there. And even if you don't love tea, if you love refreshing, rejuvenating, refueling sodas that are good for you, listen to this. Radhi and I poured our hearts into creating Juni Sparkling Tea with adaptogens for you because we believe in nurturing your body and with every sip you'll experience calmness of mind,

a refreshing vitality and a burst of brightness to your day. Juni is infused with adaptogens that are amazing natural substances that act like superheroes for your body to help you adapt to stress and find balance in your busy life. Our superfied blend of these powerful ingredients include green tea, ashwagandha, acerola cherry and lion's mane mushroom and these may help boost your metabolism, give you a natural kick of caffeine, combat stress, pack your body with antioxidants and stimulate brain function. Even better, Juni has zero sugar

and only five calories per can. We believe in nurturing and energizing your body while enjoying a truly delicious and refreshing drink. So visit www.drinkjuni.com today to elevate your wellness journey and use code on purpose to receive 15% off your first order. That's www.drinkjuni.com and make sure you use the code on purpose. How do you decide what parts of your life to share publicly and what parts to keep private? I generally just lead with what I'm comfortable with. Like if I wouldn't be ashamed to tell the person next to me on the train and I don't really

feel shame about a lot of things. I feel like maybe that's something I could and should work on. But no, I would say the Ozempic thing is like the one thing I really had to push myself to share. But for the most part I share what's comfortable and I'm just I'm an open person. I think that some people find that inconceivable, but for the most part, I share what's comfortable. And I'm just, I'm an open person. I think that some people find that inconceivable, but I just am. So it's easy for you.

But you were saying earlier that there's times when you're like, oh, this could be judged, this could be misconstrued. And so, and I think that's a really valid point. I appreciate you being so honest about it. That's why I'm raising it. Because I think at one point, we were in this phase where we were like, vulnerability means you share

everything with everyone. And I don't subscribe to that definition of vulnerability. I think vulnerability is actually, I know why I'm sharing it with this person, and I feel safe to share it there. And so I think that society has had to evolve. And then you also see performative vulnerability, where people are like literally telling a vulnerable story only because they...

Because you think you get rewarded for it. Totally, exactly. Which then ruins the purpose of vulnerability because then it's not vulnerable. So it's like this messy space where I'm trying to... I'm constantly reflecting on like what's truly vulnerable, how comfortable do I feel about it, what does that mean? Yeah, I guess then like I wouldn't categorize myself as a particularly vulnerable person because when I share things, even things that are deeply personal, I don't feel like it's

a big deal. Do you know what I mean? I'm just an open, that's just how I am. So I would feel weirder not telling people things. Like even when I was trying to conceive with Ben, I do a podcast every day and I'm always talking about what's going on in my life and my marriage. And it was this huge part that I wasn't sharing and it felt so deceitful.

It was so foreign to me because I'm so used to saying, yeah, last night I did X, Y and Z and my underwear is purple. Like, I'm such a sharer that actually not sharing is what makes me uncomfortable. Yeah, and why did you not share that? What was that? You know what? It's like a Jewish superstition thing. Got it, got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same in our culture. Indian culture has that. It felt private. Yeah, got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same in our culture. Indian culture has that.

It felt private, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I think Indian culture and Jewish culture... Are very similar, yes. ...has a lot in common. And yeah, there's definitely... There are definitely certain things that you don't share and you don't want to open up too much, but you wait till they're real and taken care of. Exactly. Yeah, no, no, I respect that and I get that.

I think it's healthy for people to, you know, find... I just want to encourage people to think about, you know, whether they're a public figure or not, who you share what with is so important. And just don't fall into the trap of, oh, everyone's being vulnerable, that's what it means to, you know... Yeah, well, I think that's like a byproduct of the internet, is like nobody really keeps anything to themselves anymore.

And I think what started out as like a genuinely good initiative to open up about things, is now like we're all sharing, we all know a little too much about each other. Yeah, that's how I feel. Let's pull back. Yeah, sometimes I watch something and I'm like, we shouldn't tell us that. Like, I don't think there was a need for us to do that.

Even myself, like today on the podcast, I was like, I gotta go, I gotta poop. And it's like, why would I say that? And just say it again. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I gotta poop. And it's like, why would I say that? And just say it again. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also one thing's really interesting to me. I had a friend, I had a friend's birthday last month

and he said to me, he was like, Jay, like, I know it's like you never post what we're doing personally and privately. And I said to him, I said it's because I'm really lucky. I think my public life's amazing, but my private life's better than my public life. And I imagine a world in which I'm sitting in an old rocking chair, talking to my grandkids

and talking to family and sharing these stories that no one knows anything about. And there's something about that feels really sacred and special to me. And I really want that because I remember years ago sitting with someone and I'm not even family or close with him, but I remember sitting on a beach with him and he was an older man. I was in my late 20s. He was probably in his late 60s.

And he just had so many life stories to share. He wasn't famous, he wasn't well known. And he just had all these cool stories that I was like, no one's going to know these, but he gets to live them every day. And there was something about that. I was like, I want to have memories that are only mine. Yeah. Like that was important to me.

I think that that's something I learn as I get older, but it also makes it complicated when sharing is your life. Yeah. And I feel like there used to be a time when I would literally be sharing a piece of content every 30 minutes. I would have a cocktail and post, which is like so dangerous and stupid. But now... What was the craziest part Oh, my God.

I used to be like blackout in a drive through at Whataburger in Texas, like blackout ordering like a crispy chicken biscuit, like whatever. And it was just, I looked so scary and I'd catch up all over my face. And I think that's why people, you know, that's why I have a lot of the following that I do. They loved that life, but that's not my life anymore. And it occurred to me like several years ago that I didn't have to share every thought that I have. One, it was getting me in trouble.

And two, like, yeah, some things can just be like thoughts or memories or things that you keep to yourself. And so I do feel like my strategy has shifted, but it's tough when that's also how you make a living. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so how do you balance that? I'm working on it.

Yeah, it's hard. It is hard. I think that I've gotten much better and I look at it a lot like this is my job. We're putting out content for the job, but it doesn't have to be the most authentic, 100%, 360-degree view of my life. I can have things for myself. It's good to know you're working on it.

That's the point, right? None of us have figured it out. No, if I went back and watched an Instagram story from 2019, I would die. I would die. I would die. I was out of control. Like I just used to say so many things like, stop talking, okay? Stop.

Like not everything needs to be shared. One thing I want to dive into with you, we've talked about Ozempic, we've talked about pregnancy, we've talked about marriage, and of course we can keep talking about those. But I think what often happens with someone like yourself, and I'm projecting because I feel this happens to me sometimes, but I'm projecting this idea that people don't see the hard work from a business perspective, the strategy perspective, the sleepless nights, the growth. Like, you've built something incredible.

Thank you. And it's shadowed, not in a bad way, but it's overshadowed by this amazing persona that you have. And your charisma and your aura and everything else, right? It's like, that's what we're watching and that's what we're captivated by. But there's a really thoughtful business person behind it who's, and I don't mean that from a,

oh, you're just figuring out how to build a business. No, I know what you mean. Yeah, I mean it from like, you've figured out how to turn a Tumblr page into, A business. Yeah, exactly, which is really amazing. And I think so many people today want to do that. So I wanted to kind of go back to the start and ask you,

what did you want to be before Girl With No Job? That's a great question. I almost didn't have time to figure it out. So I started this Tumblr in freshman year of college, which is when people figure out what they want to do. And it very slowly, but also quickly became something I was making money off of. So much so by the time I graduated,

I was making sponsored Instagram posts for a fee that would have been my salary if I ended up with a job job in media and at the time Like content creation was not a job. So when I made the decision, it just made no sense like to sit at a desk and earn a living that was Comparatively small to what I was pulling from my Instagram, but people were just like they couldn't believe it They're like it's not gonna last forever. It's not and, maybe, but maybe, what if I just ran with it?

And it was really inconceivable to people that I was not getting a job post-grad and that I would be on my phone. And I understand why, because right after that, I was making a really good living, but I was doing nothing. I was home all day and I was watching a lot of TV and I was recapping it and writing funny blog posts and I was making money, but I was not doing anything.

I had no structure to my day, I did not set an alarm and it was lovely, but it was not fulfilling. And I knew that it wasn't a sustainable way. And that's why when we started the podcast, I loved it so much for a million different reasons, but it gave me structure. It gave me a day like, and now even to this day, I very much operate like a Monday to Friday, nine to five. I work 40 hours a week like every other American. And I think

some people run from that sort of convention, but when you didn't have it, it was kind of horrible. So I crave that sort of structured stability. Like seriously, if you're looking to answer an email for me after five o'clock, I'm not answering. I have boundaries and I love that my life kind of mirrors that conventional work life. But that was a goal that Jackie and I set because this line of work, while yes it can be very lucrative, it is kind of nuts and it can be a little unstable. You have a month where you get a ton of work

and a month where you don't get. So it was fun for a girl who was 21, but I knew it wasn't gonna be like a sustainable way to live. But the funny thing is that I think there's like a large, you know, misconception that like I work an hour a day. People are always saying that to me. It's like when you say someone from SNL works an hour a week. Like, no, no, you see them an hour a week.

You see me one hour a day on the show. But there's so much that goes into running a show of that size. And also, it's not the only thing that I do. I'm not bothered so much that people think I don't work. Like whatever, you know? Like sorry you're dumb. You don't know how the industry works. Like bitch, I work hard, okay?

Have you ever had a real job't know how the industry works. Like, bitch, I work hard, okay? Have you ever had a real job? Oh my God. Okay. So yes, like in the sense that throughout high school and like summers in high school, I was a camp counselor. I worked at a toy store when I went to college. All through four years of college, I worked, I had an internship, like a paid five day a week internship at a media company.

It wasn't internship, but it was structured at like a corporate job. So yes, I did work in a corporate office for four years, never like full full time because I was part time student. And I probably would have worked at that media company post grad if I didn't decide to become a full time content creator. So like yes and no. Yeah, what did you learn from the toy store, the internship that you applied?

The toy store was not for fucking me. Like, seriously, gift wrapping is hell on earth. I still can't do it. And honestly, when anybody asks me to wrap a gift, I actually have trauma from that fucking store. Really? Yeah, it was horrible. Like that stupid gift wrapping section. Like, no matter how many times somebody showed me how to do it, like, I could not fucking do it. Here I am trying to make this amazing point that you learned all these amazing...

Yeah, sorry, continue your point. Just know, it was not for me. I was trying to put forward this idea that maybe you picked up all these really cool skills that help you in your career today, but... Actually, I will say that working at a toy store, having to talk to strangers who you don't know and pretend like you know what you're talking about, that builds character. That builds actually like a great personable vibe. In the corporate space, I don't feel like I great personable vibe. In the corporate space, I don't feel like I learned much, honestly. I liked the free lunch. Like it was amazing.

It was one of those big companies that gives you free lunch. And there was snacks everywhere, like free snacks. I was always eating Goldfish and M&Ms. And I liked, I don't know actually, my sisters worked at the same company. It was this huge company with like different media companies within it. So they all worked at different companies.

So we all would have lunch together. I have very fond memories of that time. And I think it's a good corporate like media, especially that's like a lot of women. It's a good environment to learn how to talk to people, learn how to deal with like workplace antics and people's personalities. And sometimes I do miss like, I think there's a lot of stability that comes with a corporate job, especially when you're thinking about like motherhood. I mean, some of these bitches over here with their six months paid maternity leave, that is a joy. And they're corporate health insurance. There are a lot of things about what people consider a boring corporate life that actually,

as somebody without a lot of that, I'm very envious of, especially when I'm entering this phase of my life. Me and my husband both have our own companies. We don't have maternity leave. We leave and the company suffers. Do you know what I mean? There's no built in, we have our own two person health insurance. It's expensive and it sucks, okay?

Like, there is a little bit of that privilege from the corporate life and I know people who are in corporate would look at someone like me and be like, oh, I always wanted to be my own boss. And it's great, but you know, there's no insurance. Yeah, there's pros and cons either way. There is, 100%. And I feel like I'm only, as I get older,

appreciating the pros of that sort of, what people would say, more stereotypically boring life. Yeah, and I think that stigma needs to go as well. I think that there was this whole cultural shift towards entrepreneurship, quit your job, build your passion, da-da-da-da. And it's like, I don't think either is for everyone. And I think we've kind of made, like, I think about it.

We've put more value on the ladder, the entrepreneurship. Correct. But to be clear, I feel like we did people a disservice when we did that because there is something lovely about a boring job that doesn't keep you up all night, that you can set boundaries with, that pays your bills, and you don't own it, you don't own the company. If things are going south, that's literally not my problem.

Like, there is a piece in that. Yeah. Now you don't own it, you don't own around the company. If things are going south, that's literally not my problem. Like there is a peace in that. Now you don't have as much creative control, who cares? Yeah, and also just like, I think about this very often, like I couldn't do anything without my team. My team are all employed. And it's like, I couldn't last without them. So I could- Is that like one of the best parts though?

It's amazing. Of being a business owner, is like other people making their living from you. I love it. It's the best feeling in the world. It's the craziest feeling. Yeah, it's the most fulfilling feeling. And I know I couldn't do anything without them, which is why I value them.

Like, are we going to push entrepreneurship to the hill? But it's like, what would we do without our amazing team members? I know I wouldn't survive. My chief of staff was like unwell for like a week. And I was just like, I don't know what to do. Right. No, that toxic hustle culture entrepreneurs I'm not a fan of. Yeah.

But was there ever a time you had to do it? Was there ever a time you did have to work 24-7? Before, when things started to really blow up for me, but it wasn't this standardized economy like it is now. There's a formula. You blow up on Instagram, you get an agent, you get a manager, you get a rate card, you get a media kit. No, that was not the case for me.

So when things started to work really quickly, I was doing all my own deals. I did not have a publicist, I did not have a manager, I did not have an agent, I didn't have an assistant. It was literally just me. And it was manageable because it was my full-time job, but I don't know shit about fuck. Like I'm literally 17, like somebody help.

So I was just kind of making it up as I went. And I think people really underestimated me because I was advocating on my own behalf. I was 18. I'm much better now, but I used to have like a really thick Long Island accent. And I was just like, every other word out of my mouth is like, and totally.

And it's not necessarily giving you, you know, business woman. So I would get underestimated a lot. And it was a unique time. Now the girlies and boys, but mostly girlies who end up doing what I do now, it's kind of all set up for them. But at the time, it wasn't a thing.

People, like a brand would reach out and based on like if it was a brand I heard of, like one of the first brands I ever worked with was Burger King. And they're like, how much would you want to, and I was like, $1,000. And they were like, okay. And I was like, bitch, $1,000, I bought a purse.

I was like, and then they were like, okay. But yeah, that's another thing they don't tell you and nobody teaches you you kind of just have to learn along the way now I feel like it's pretty set up where if you join this line of work There are certain business managers and accounts who know how to do this But at the time when I was getting started it was like girl you're on your own. Good luck In a galaxy far far away no, babe, that's taken we're in our own world remember No babe, that's taken. We're in our own world, remember? Right, in our own world. We're two space cadets. And totally normal humans. Sure, totally normal humans.

Embark on a journey across the stars, discovering the wonders of the universe one episode at a time. We'll talk about life, love, laughter, and why you should never argue with your co-pilot. Especially when she's always right. Right, and if we hit turbulence, just blame it on Mercury retrograde. Or Emily's questionable space piloting skills. Hey, join us on In Our Own World for cosmic conversations, stellar laughs,

and super corny dad jokes. Listen to In Our Own World as a part of the My Kultura podcast network available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't worry, we promise to avoid any black holes. Most of the time. Hey, I'm Gianna Perdenti.

And I'm Jeme Jackson-Gadsden. We're the hosts of Let's Talk Offline, a new podcast from LinkedIn News and iHeart Podcasts. When you're just starting out in your career, you have a lot of questions. Like, how do I speak up when I'm feeling overwhelmed? Or, can I negotiate a higher salary if this is my first real job?

Girl, yes. Each week, we answer your unfiltered work questions. Think of us as your work besties you can turn to for advice. And if we don't know the answer, we bring in experts who do, like resume specialist Morgan Sanner. The only difference between the person who doesn't get the job and the person who gets

the job is usually who applies. Yeah, I think a lot about that quote. What is it, like you miss 100% of the shots you never take? Yeah, rejection is scary, but it's better than you rejecting yourself. Together, we'll share what it really takes to thrive in the early years of your career without sacrificing your sanity or sleep. Listen to Let's Talk Offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Have you ever been close to going to jail? No, no. If only I was that interesting. When I was a senior in high school, I went to go visit my sister Jackie at college and it was a flight. So I packed up my things. I didn't have a, so I grew up in Manhattan. So I didn't have a license at the time,

which used to make traveling really hard because I didn't have any form of identification. I used to give them my high school ID. They're like, this is not legally admissible. So I'd be like, I don't have a license. Sorry, I'm literally 17 and I don't have a driver. I don't have a driver's license. And for some reason they pulled my bag

and they were going through my wallet and they found my fake ID. And they were like, I thought you didn't have a driver's license. And for some reason they pulled my bag and they were going through my wallet and they found my fake ID and they were like, I thought you didn't have. Now I realize they were like doing this to scare me, but at the time I thought I was really going to jail. They brought a cop out, she wants to call my parents. She's swiping my hands.

You know when you ever get like that and they're like, you tested positive for explosives. I'm like, bitch, what are you talking about? I'm literally a high school student. Wait, how do you test positive for explosives? I don't know. I mean, I had gotten a manicure, so I imagine there was like some chemicals on my hands. But like, it was so... They were really trying to scare me.

And this police officer was like, listen, I think you're a good kid. I'm going to let you go. And I ran for my fucking life. I was so afraid. But I was never... I didn't break the law. I didn't say that this was my idea. It could have been my cousin, Sandra. Like, it was the scared, most scared I've ever been in my life and probably the closest I've ever gotten to go into jail,

which is like not that close. Still, it was scary. It was scary. And let it be a lesson to any of the minors listening, like, put your fake ID in your checked bag. Got it. Yeah. Put your fake ID in your checked bag.

Don't say I never taught you anything. What advice would you have? Like you were saying, like it seems like, and I agree with you, there is more set up. We kind of, I think our careers actually, we didn't know each other then, but they took off around the same time. Mine was 2016 as well.

I was a lot older. I was 28. So 27, 28. So you had like a pretty good idea of the world. To some degree, for sure. I mean, I'd never knew a person, I'd never known anyone who'd worked in entertainment, anyone who'd worked in media, anyone who'd worked in media,

anyone who'd done anything outside of London. So it was a whole new world for me, completely. But you're right, there are more systems today than there were then. What advice would you have for people who are at the age you were when you first blew up, like 17, 18 years old, because that's happening more and more now.

Like you were more of an anomaly. Yes. That's become the standard. Now I'm old in the space. Yeah, I have two really hardcore pieces. Yeah, I mean you're ancient, sorry. Yeah, I'm ancient, yeah. Thanks.

I have two extremely important pieces of advice. If you find yourself wanting to get into this line of work, like I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you've done, delete all your old social media posts. Like none of it is going to age well. It's going to come back to bite you in the ass and it's going gonna ruin your life. Like if I had to go through what I went through,

like everybody found my old tweets and they were like, oh my God, she's fucking crazy. Delete your tweets. I can't believe people are still having their tweets. Girl, delete your tweets. Like stop. That's the first. Second of all is every dollar you make,

put 50 cents in a savings account for your taxes because that's, depending on where you live, like that's what it is. It's half. And the good thing is sometimes you save too much and then you get a little leftover. But just know, if somebody pays you $100, you got 50. Yeah, very pragmatic advice.

Well, taxes have ruined my life. Oh, tell me about it. Before I had a business manager trying to do my own taxes with like an old school accountant who like I think I got from like a family member, they had no idea what I did for a living. And so I was underpaying, I was under reporting. I was not getting any like 1099s from the brands that I work with. It was such a mess. It was the wild, wild west. So much so that years later I got that

huge bill and it was like the worst thing to ever happen to me. I almost had to go on a payment plan with the government. Like it was so crazy. And I think that happens a lot in entertainment, especially this like new wave of social media entertainers. So finding a an accountant, a business manager or teaching yourself, that's fine. But as long as you're putting away half of what you make for taxes, like you're safe. Yeah.

Don't you think it's incredible how much you've learned in the last eight years? Yes. Isn't it unbelievable? Sometimes I go back and like read my old emails of like me like talking to people. And I'm like, girl, that's the worst email ever. But it's like so cool to see how different I speak now

and how I think a lot smarter and able to advocate on my own behalf and that little girl sending those emails from her couch, like that's who I am. That's me. Did you ever pretend to be your own manager? A thousand percent. What was the name? Rebecca.

I was always pretending to be my own assistant, like trying to get dinner reservations, trying to set up calls. Claudia's available. Meanwhile, it's like literally me. And it worked. 100%. It worked.

Did they negotiate on your behalf sometimes? Well, I actually was always negotiating on my own behalf because I always found that like so many of the girls who worked at media companies, worked at agencies, these account managers were followers of mine, were listeners to the toast. And that's always worked on my own behalf. Actually, I think like a huge demographic of my following

is media girls. Girls who work at brands, who work at agencies and so it's always kind of benefited me to lead with me because they're excited to work and they want to make it work and look, it's turdy on the other line. If someone wants to be the next you and start the toast and, you know, start their version. Don't, don't, everybody's set.

The toast isn't off. No kidding. What advice would you have for someone who's listening to you, watching you, going, start their version. on your phone. program. It's just talk. What's the nuclear program? I don't know. I don't know. I was trying to sound smart. I couldn't think of anything. No, I love it. I couldn't agree with you more as well. I think there's just such a... I feel like we're all stifling ourselves by procrastinating. We're afraid of being judged, right? We want to put something out that's perfect. But it's like, you don't get far without people making fun of you.

Like, I'm sure my old posts used to get sent around my high school. Like, oh my god, look what Claudia's doing. Cringe, cringe, cringe. Well, it's not so cringe anymore. Like girl, because I'm successful and you're not. But that's just part... If you can't take being mocked, like... I wish that weren't the case because people are cruel and it is what it is. And think about how you talk to your friends about people on social media. Someone's going to talk about you like that and you have to be okay with that.

Yeah. Did you lose any friends along the way? No, actually, I've always been really good. I've never been that girl with like a thousand friends. I've always had like five really good friends and they're the same friends. I love that. I love that too. They're like the best friends.

But you know, you do notice people treating you differently, like peripherally. And whenever anybody like started being extra nice or whatever, I always accepted it. Like, sure, you want me to come to your Hamptons house? I'll be there. But you know, you got to keep note of people who only started acting that way

at a certain time in your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have, yeah, there is definitely that switch. And yeah, I'm the same as you. I have all my same friends from back in the day. I can't wait. I literally fly to London tonight to see everyone. It's the best.

Looking forward to just, yeah, just catching up, kicking it. And it's one of those things that I feel so fortunate that I had such a good group of friends before everything took off. You must feel that with Ben too, because it was around the same time. So I was like, yeah, I guess I met Ben freshman year and freshman year is also when I started my blog. I don't think it really took off till a year later, but he's been there since the very beginning.

Yeah. How much do you think that? That's a good question. Well, I often thank the Lord that I don't have to date at all, period, because I think dating in this day and age is horrible, but also with my weird job, I think it would just, I wouldn't even know how to explain it to people. And I would just feel so awkward and embarrassed. So I'm grateful for that. But again, I think having this really stable force in my life and Ben, when it came to how I felt about myself, how I felt about my job, I think stability is so beneficial when you're trying to build a business and having someone to come home to and having a very stable personal life,

I think it allowed me to be a little nutty in different areas of my life, like my job. Because I didn't have to worry that I was going to come home and it would be chaos. Ben was always there, just, how was your day? Yeah, I think that's what it is. You just hit the nail on the head. I think there's certain stages in life where you go, if I decide this, it now no longer takes up any space. I felt that way about getting married. I felt that way about deciding which city we're going to live in.

Because when we first moved to the States, we lived in New York for two years. Then we moved to LA, we've been there for six years. When we decided we were living in LA and we got our place, it was like another thing. Settled. There was a settled that freed up space. And I think we're currently living at a time

where we struggle to make decisions. Yes. Because we don't want to kind of, you know, put our roots down, but actually that creates more chaos in our lives. A thousand percent. And I think we also live in a culture that values that sort of like,

wonder, let's say I live in my car, and I don't care, I don't have a job. Well, I like a little bit structure, a little bit boring, a little bit settled. I think that's me getting older, but I also think it's just like, there's value in also leading a very sort of ordinary, that's one of my sister's favorite quotes. I forget, it's like, you know,

being ordinary in your personal life, so you can be violent in your creative or artistic life. Because it's like, you can't have a million balls in the air at one time. But so, to have a very... I don't want to say regular, because I feel like that has a negative connotation, but like, a very peaceful, very settled private life. It really does allow you to, you know, for me, it's my work, for anyone, it could be something else, just to like, I don't know, fuck shit up.

You know? What's the hardest part about working with family? And what's the best part? There is one. Really? Yeah, I know, and I'm unique in that. I think some people have different family issues. I could never, I mean look at how many female podcasting duos that... It's every day we're talking about another one breaking up.

Me and Jackie will be podcasting till the day that we die. Like we are bound by blood. She's the only person I can really talk to, honestly. I think a lot of people think I'm very confrontational because I'm loud and a little aggressive. But actually, if I have a problem with you, I'll just start crying. I cannot talk to people, except my sister.

I could say whatever I want. And it just, I don't have a single complaint about working with family. That's amazing. Yeah, I know. That's impressive. I's impressive. I know. I love that. Me too. To some people, they're like so confused by it.

For me, I wouldn't have it any other way. Yeah. No, I love that for you. I'm glad. I mean, it's the best thing when it works. Yes. Yes. And I know I'm special and lucky that it does work. How has your relationship had to change? Like, what's it meant to keep that up? Like, what have you had to do in order to have a sister relationship and a business partner relationship?

Because all your conversations are always about the podcast. Yeah, I mean, it's so intertwined. But interestingly enough, when Jack and I were growing up, we're four sisters total, from top to bottom. Like, there's six years between us, so we're all really tight. And we were all really tight growing up. You know, there were different dynamics as we got older. Like in the beginning, it was always the two older sisters

and the two younger sisters, me and Margot. Like we were just sort of divided by age, and Olivia and Jackie would like leave us out, and me and Margot were just like sharing a room. So we were like, okay, whatever, I guess it's just us. And then as we got older, my interest started to align a lot more with Olivia's. And then Jackie and Margot became like really similar

and really close to the dynamics of what we shifted. But the dynamics when we were kids were never Jackie and I. We actually probably got along the least. We didn't fight. We didn't hate each other. We just were not drawn to one another. So I would say we were probably the least close out of all four. Not that we had issues, but we were just not, I don't think we understood each other. Jackie's very reserved. Jackie's very quiet, but not shy, quiet. Me, I'm spreading my legs for everybody. I'm like, what's up? Who you want to talk to? Let's go here. Let's go there. So I think that I thought she was like, you know, weird and she thought I was weird. We

didn't understand one another. And then when we started to work together, our differences ended up, you know, working in our favor. It made the conversations on the podcast more dynamic. And we just very naturally became so close through work, but also we were talking all the time, you know? So wait, when you're putting out an episode, how much of it have you talked about before? Zero. Literally zero? Zero. Every single episode is completely off the cuff.

Everything about it. We have like five topics that we need to hit every day, whatever the news of the day is, but everything else is completely off the cuff. Like we've never once had a conversation. Sometimes we used to sit on FaceTime for like an hour before we would start recording to get set up and we would just end up talking

and we actually felt like it was ruining the show. She calls me at 10.30, we start recording at 10.31. Like we do not, because we don't want to waste any of the, we'll never recreate a conversation. That's so fake. Like we just go for it. That's amazing. So that way you're really catching up in that time too.

Exactly. Because you're avoiding talking the night before. Exactly. You saying what you did. And she lives in a different state. So we have a lot to catch up on. When did she move and when did you guys? She moved I think 2021.

And I was like, okay, it's the end of the show. Like we'll do remote, but who the hell wants to listen to remote podcasters? Like it's so COVID-y and it sucks. And I knew that it was the end of the show. Like, we'll do remote, but who the hell wants to listen to remote podcasters? Like, it's so COVID-y and it sucks. And I knew that it was the beginning of the end and I was freaking a little bit. And let me tell you, it's the best thing to ever happen to us.

One, because of COVID, we were forced to really invest in the tech, so there's actually no delay, there's no lag. A lot of people don't know that we live in separate states. So I think a lot of times people are shocked to find out that Jackie doesn't live in New York anymore, which makes me so happy. And two, a little bit of the distance physically has benefited us greatly

because we're no longer on top of each other. And we get to, like you say, have these natural catch up conversations that we might not be having if she lived down the block for me, which she did for many years. So it's actually been the best thing to happen to the show and I thought it was going to be the beginning of the end.

What makes you feel like when you've recorded a great episode? How do you know? Oh my God, when we just laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh. Like sometimes we are just so silly that... I don't even think we're speaking English anymore. It's just that sisterly thing where you really only act so nuts with your sister. Those are the best episodes. Like true belly laughs.

Yeah. And that is something you can only do with someone you know very, very well. And you guys call each other afterwards and like, -"Oh my God, you are so funny." -"That's a good question." No, actually. It's so routine to us now. That's kind of sad. We should be like, -"Listen, that was so funny." -"Yeah." Um, no, we don't do that. But it kind of protects why that hour is so good.

Right? Like that's the point. And we're not trying so hard. Like we're just talking. Yeah, yeah. That's... It's such a special skill. It's actually such a special talent and skill. I agree that podcasting is a skill and it's a talent. Because I think... I mean, the running joke is like,

you know, everybody has a podcast, not everybody should. But there are a lot of failed podcasts. And I think that a lot of people think like, yeah, I could talk for an hour a week. I actually don't think you could. It is an art, especially with a co-host, especially as an interviewer, when to talk, when to listen, when to stop. And so a lot of people don't possess that skill. And I appreciate you saying that because it's definitely a skill the same way like, you

know, any other job is a skill. Like if you're a mathematician, you know, you need a certain set of skills and podcasting definitely requires that too. Yeah, no, I just like to point it out because I think we just, it is that I have so many friends who are just like, I remember when I first started creating content and my friends are like, oh, we can do that. And then it was like this whole journey where everyone realizes that it's different and I think with you, because it's so natural and because it's so off the cuff,

it can often be, you can kind of be like, oh yeah, well that's whatever. But it's like, no, no, no, there's a real talent. There's a skill there. How much have you practiced over the years or was this who you were at school with your friends? Like, is this just who you've been? Where was the training?

Where were the reps? This is always who I've been. Like very, like leading with, like I've always loved attention. I've always loved to talk. I've always loved to make people laugh. But I do think that I have practiced and rehearsed a little bit in recent years.

Just knowing when to listen. That's always been my, that's the biggest critique people have of me on the show and they're totally valid in that. I never let my sister talk. I talk over people. I'm sure I've done it to you, I'm so sorry. And I'm really trying.

It's one of my worst skills personally and professionally. I do it at a dinner party, it's so annoying. And when other people do it, I'm like, oh my God, she didn't shut up. And people are like, bitch, that's you. So I am working on that, I used to be much worse. So it's a work in progress, but it's important to know your skills,

but it's also important to know what you're not good at. And I know that I'm not good at knowing when it's my time to listen. Like right now. Have you ever measured how fast you talk? No, but I know it's insane. And if you can believe it, I used to talk so much faster. And it's funny because me and you, I'm at the opposite end. Like I usually talk so slowly.

Yeah, you're very measured. Yeah, no, no. So it's so funny because when we're together, I'm just like, I'm speeding up slightly just to... Jay, I need you to listen to episodes of The Toast from like 2019. I used to swallow full paragraphs. Like I don't even know what I was saying. You think it's fast now. To me, this is me being so much better.

It's amazing. It used to be really bad. It's amazing. Have you... You talked about their like wanting attention. And I think anyone who's doing something publicly, naturally, there is a part of them that enjoys the attention, enjoys... I always say like, I love when people come up to me on the street and say hello. I tell people in the podcast to say, hey, if you see me, come and say hello.

I want to say hello to you. I really appreciate the feedback and the energy I get. I had a... I was walking a few years ago now, quite a while ago, with one of my clients who's a well-known actor. He gets recognized a hundred times for every one time I get recognized.

So super well-known and successful. And like he'd get stopped, I'd get stopped once. He'd get stopped multiple times. I'd get stopped once. And I asked him like, how does that feel? And he said, you know what? He goes, Jay, you're really lucky. And I was like, why?

And he said, you're lucky because people stop me for who I pretend to be, and people stop me for who you are. And I was like, wow, like that really stayed with me. Yeah, it really stayed with me. It was one of those moments. And you're not going to tell us who it was? No, I can't.

But it was one of the- You had no fun. But it was, that's my private part. Of course, of course. You'll tell me after we stop recording, obviously. But that was one of my favorite moments. It stayed with me ever since that. And I'm like, wait a minute, and same with you.

People, when they're coming up to you and saying the toast is amazing, or when I keep hearing, J, we heard you on the toast, it was so fun. When I get that feedback from people, I'm thinking, oh wow, you're doing that. How have you been careful about your relationship with attention so that it doesn't get unhealthy?

How have you thought about that? You know what's so funny? The more attention you get, the less you want it. And so I think as somebody who was an attention whore, I was an attention seeking whore growing up my whole life, to end up in a line of work where you get a lot of it, it's fulfilling for a second. And then it's like enough.

And I actually feel like I say I'm an attention whore, I'm actually really not so much anymore. I got the attention that I wanted and it felt good, but it didn't solve all my problems like I thought it was going to. So not that anybody who's an attention seeker should get the attention, because then it's kind of a problem that fixes itself.

But I'm really not, I think when people meet me on the street, sometimes they're a little taken aback how, actually I'm not like a dancing monkey. I'm not so crazy all the time like making jokes on like I I actually and definitely as I've gotten older like a little bit more pulled back you know I'm still a little nuts more than the average person but not I think as much as people would expect. What part of your confidence are you still working on? I'm really not honestly like I feel very confident in all aspects of my life like I know that I'm great at my job I know I'm a great wife I know I'm really not, honestly. Like, I feel very confident in all aspects of my life.

Like, I know that I'm great at my job. I know I'm a great wife. I know I'm literally gorgeous. Like, I don't feel like I'm lacking confidence in any area, honestly. Wow. I have a lot of other problems though, but not that. Like? Oh, girl, where do I begin? Okay. What would I say is my biggest problem?

I actually would say my biggest problem is sometimes my humor can be mean. And I think that's like the worst type of humor. And I'm actually really working on it. Like when you poke fun at someone, sometimes I feel like I really take it too far. Like it's okay to like think something and not say it. Because I've noticed that a lot

that I sometimes border on mean, and I don't like being mean. That's not funny to me. I think some people feel like they have to be mean in order to be funny. And that's not true. I can don't like being mean. That's not funny to me. I think some people feel like they have to be mean in order to be funny and that's not true. I can be funny without being mean. Yeah, and that's something you're working on. Yes, like sometimes I'll say something,

I'll be like, damn, that was rough, you know? Like, and so I'm aware of it and I'm really trying to stop. Yeah. I don't know if I will. At least I'm aware of it. In a galaxy far, far away. No, babe, that's taken. We're in our own world, remember?

Right. In our own world. We're two space cadets. And totally normal humans. Sure, totally normal humans. Embark on a journey across the stars, discovering the wonders of the universe one episode at a time. We'll talk about life, love, laughter, and why you should never argue with your co-pilot.

Especially when she's always right. Right. And if we hit turbulence, just blame it on Mercury retrograde. Or Emily's questionable space piloting skills. Hey! Join us on In Our Own World for cosmic conversations, stellar laughs, and super corny dad jokes. Listen to In Our Own World as a part of the MyKultura podcast network available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And don't worry, we promise to avoid any black holes. Most of the time. You love the 1% evil. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's no, that's so beautiful to hear. I mean, to hear you say, hey, you know what? I'm actually really confident.

I love hearing that. I love it when someone says that because. It's a journey. Yeah. No, but I mean, you've not that you've arrived because there is no arrival, but the idea that you feel that way. I mean, that doesn't mean that like, I don't see a picture of myself and like, literally want to die, but I don't try not to place too much value on that

because there are other parts of me that are worthy, probably more worthy than how I look. But I am a shallow person. I do place a lot of emphasis and value on my physical appearance. Yeah. Is that something you've ever tried to change or shift or you just accepted it? It's actually like a new thing. I think since losing weight, I've kind of become obsessed with it.

And that's like one thing that I've gained during my weight loss journey that I don't like. The obsession with how I look. Because before, like I knew I didn't look great, so like whatever, you know, I worked on other things. But then I started to really like the way that I looked on the Ozempic journey and I kind of became obsessed with it. Like I used to weigh myself and be like,

I mean, it's not great, but whatever. Then I would lose weight and when I would weigh myself and it wasn't exactly what I wanted, I would be so hard on myself and I used to not care about that. So that's actually something I'm working on, but with a pregnancy, like it's a problem for later May. Yeah, of course. I can't fix everything all at once, okay? I'm not Jay Shetty. No, no, no, trust me, I can't either.

But no, but it's interesting how sometimes the things we work on more become our greatest stresses. Yes. That's definitely how I feel with my weight. Yeah. And it's one of those things that... But the great thing is you're aware, and I think that's what I always think about. I remember when Kevin Hart came on the podcast, he was talking about how, in a very different context, but he was talking about how, like, some of the mistakes he made, and not comparing at all, but he was talking about some of the mistakes he made,

and they came from a place of him feeling like this was never going to go away. And then he was like, now I need to deal with the fact that one day I may not be as famous or successful as whatever. And it was just really interesting him saying that when I still think he's crushing it and killing it and he's like, you know. But how we perceive people versus how they perceive

themselves is so interesting. Correct, yeah. And that's what I find is always fascinating because you think someone's peaking. Living the best life. Yeah. And that's what I find is always fascinating because you think someone's peeking. Mm-hmm. Living the best life. Yeah. And in their head, they're like, oh, I'm insignificant right now. Yeah. But it does, not that you want people to feel poorly about themselves,

but seeing someone whom you perceive to be on top of the world talk about how they perceive themselves and it's not necessarily like the best. There is like solace in that. Like even people who are killing it and rich and famous, like even they hate themselves. So who cares if I do? You know? I wanted to end with talking about, you know,

you talked a lot about last year losing your dog, which I think... No one prepares you for it. Yeah, I had so many friends who sadly went through the same thing in the last 12 months. I don't know what it was about the last 12 months. And maybe it's sadly always the case, but at least in my life, I had so many people telling me that.

I had my business manager, a really close friend, like just so many people in life. We had Taylor Hill, who came on the podcast and talked about the loss of her dog, Tate, and just how hard that was for her. What has been your greatest lesson for grief in that journey? So funny, because, you know, I lost my dad when I was in the eighth grade. Or excuse me, the ninth grade.

Like literally the first month of high school. Worst time ever. And it was extremely hard. And I actually feel like being younger, I was able to bounce back a little bit more. I remember going through that and really, I had just transferred schools. And then my dad passed and I really didn't want to be known as like the girl with the dead dad. So I remember making an active effort to get back to my life. And I really didn't want to be known as like the girl with the dead dad. So I remember making an active effort to get back to my life.

And I leaned so heavily into my sisters. And that's really why my sisters and I are so close. And my friends and extra school. And I really, and that's just being a kid, right? You're more susceptible, you're more adaptable. Like you just bounce back. And I've found like when, you know, friends of mine now are losing parents,

like it's so much harder. Like you're an adult, you understand the importance of life, you have kids of your own. And so, not that it's the same at all, but losing my dog at 29 was the first experience with grief as an adult. And let me tell you, it is so much harder. And this was a dog, not a human being.

The difference was, and I have long wondered, my dad passed away overnight. He was not sick, he had a heart attack, and he died before he even got to the hospital. Like completely kind of freak accident. And people always talk about like, is it better for someone to die like that, or to get a chance to say goodbye to somebody

who has like a terminal illness, but you have to watch them suffer for months. And I feel like there's no right answer, just everybody thinks their own. And I never really knew what the answer was, but with Theo, he had terminal cancer. I mean, we ended up putting him down, but so we lived with the cancer,

I want to say for like two or three weeks, like really not a long time. It was the worst time of my life. Like it was worse than when he actually had died. Like seeing something, someone you love so much be in such pain, it's not worth being able to say goodbye, honestly. So oddly that experience brought me peace with my dad. Like I like, yeah, I didn't get to say goodbye, honestly. So oddly, that experience brought me peace with my dad.

Like, yeah, I didn't get to say goodbye, but like, I didn't have to watch him suffer. Like, that's, it's definitely worse. And so the older I get, the actually, the harder grief is, you know, like I remember getting married and being like so angry that my dad wasn't gonna be there and feeling like this was so unfair, but I hadn't really felt that anger up until that point.

Like the older you get, the more important life moments, marriage, kids, you realize like how much you need a parent. And so as a kid, like, yeah, okay, he's not at my soccer game, but like you just are, you're more resilient as a kid, you really are. And so going through grief as an adult is 45 times harder.

And that was just with my dog, you know, whom I loved more than anything, but a dog is not a person. And it was just with my dog, you know, whom I loved more than anything, but a dog is not a person. And it was the most challenging thing. I actually don't even remember it. I blacked out that part of my life. It's coming up on a year actually, like this week. It was the hardest thing I'd ever been through in my life.

Like seriously, I can't believe, I don't even think about that time because it was so, it was traumatizing. That's so profound though, the connection between the two. I know. Well, it was, they were so polar opposite. It's like what I've, I think I actually would have preferred just like to take Theo to the doctor and have him die.

Like the three weeks of diapers of medic, oh my God, it was horrible. And I felt like I was doing the wrong thing because, wrong thing because it's cruel to keep a dog like that alive for your own, they're so clearly in pain, it's the right thing to do to put them down. And if you're selfishly keeping them, and I said, I'm not gonna do that. And so when we woke up one morning, it was so clear that he was suffering.

We were like, listen, this is cruel. We're keeping him alive for us. We knew we had to do that. And with my dad, I had always felt like, oh my God, I never got to say goodbye. It was, you know, hi one day, bye the next. But what Theo, the passing of Theo really taught me is like, honestly, it's better.

It is, I think. What did girl with a dead dad like mean to you? Like, what did that kind of like, what did that symbolize for you that you didn't want to be? You know, I just remember in middle school, there was a girl whose dad had died. And her, she was in my grade and then her brother was in my sister's grade. And it was just kind of like the thing people said.

Do you know what I mean? Like pointing and saying like this? No, not pointing, but like if you overheard like another parent talking, oh, didn't you hear? It was just kind of what, you know, they were led with. And I didn't want that. I wanted to be a girl who was funny, a girl who was good at soccer, a girl who was beautiful. Like literally anything. I did not want to. I wanted to be a girl who was funny, a girl who was good at soccer, a girl who was beautiful.

Like literally anything. I did not want to have that to be the thing. Like, oh, did you hear about that ostrich girl? Her father died. Like I didn't want that to be the first thing people said about me. So I remember making a conscious effort to just like bounce back. And it did work for a period of time. I can't imagine how challenging it is to, you know, be giving birth, having lost.

Let me tell you, it sucks. Like, and I see Ben who has both parents, I'm so happy for him, but I'm jealous. Yeah, naturally. Yeah, I don't think that's bad. No, no, of course not. It's definitely not bad. And they're the best, Ben's parents, like, his dad is like always inviting me out on Father's Day, like, but you know, a parent is a parent. Yeah, for sure.

Thank you for sharing. Thank you. Thank you for being open. It's, I'm hoping that, yeah, I'm hoping that people who've been through similar things or, you know, I know plenty of people in my life who lost a parent early and it's something that's not talked about enough online. Like, you don't really hear about it.

Yeah. It's kind of like something you talk about in therapy and nowhere else. Yeah, it's just like hard to talk about. Nobody wants to be crying all the time. And I think that no matter what stage of your grief that you're at, like you can't talk about it without crying. That doesn't mean that you're not healed. It's just sad. Of course it is.

And I don't want to be sad. Like that's my whole thing. Like I love being happy. I love making people laugh. I love laughing. Like if I'm laughing, I'm so happy. So I hate to sit around. And that's why I know when I talk about this on the podcast, people don't like it.

But I don't do therapy. Not for any reason. I'm not against it. I know it's really powerful for a lot of people. But I've never really had a hard time communicating. And I'm very blessed that I have a lot of people in my life who I feel completely open and comfortable opening up to. And I know that's a privilege that not a lot of people in my life who I feel completely open and comfortable opening up to. And I know that's a privilege that not a lot of people have.

But I also like, I don't know, I just don't want to spend my life being sad. Like the world is sad enough. Like my, I wake up every day with the goal of like making people laugh. Like I like to be joyous and spread joy. And I don't know, sitting in the therapist's office for an hour a week, like crying, like, oh my God, like seriously, I can't. I can't. Yeah, no, and I think that everyone has their hour a week, like crying, like, oh my God, like, seriously, I can't, I can't. Yeah.

No, and I think that everyone has their different coping mechanisms, like you said. And for some people that is the only place they have a safe space and a space where they don't feel judged and a space where they don't feel, you know, looked at in a certain way because their family friends may be that way. And, and it's beautiful that you don't have that. I was going to ask you, what's been your, have you thought a lot about like your energy, baby's energy, like walk me through that? Yes, I have a lot because, you know,

people tell me that I'm kind of like a baby whisperer because I love to sing and I love to dance and I love to like, I'm obsessed with babies. And that's what babies love and that's what babies need. Like in their first couple of months, I was looking for somebody to sing and dance to them. And so that's the type of mom I want to be. Like super joyous, super like always singing.

I don't know if you follow Jessie J, the singer on Instagram. Yeah, of course. I know Jessie, yeah. Okay, so she had a baby and like she's always singing to her baby on Instagram. Now I know she has like one of the best voices in the world and I don't, but like I'm going to be Jessie J. Like I'm going to be singing to my baby

and my baby's going to think I have the most amazing voice because my baby's going to be my number one fan. It's going to be so funny if I don't, but like I'm gonna be Jessie J. Like I'm gonna be singing to my baby and my baby's gonna think I have the most amazing voice, because my baby's gonna be my number one fan. It's gonna be so funny if they don't. Oh my god, stop, I'll be so upset if like every time I sing the baby cries. Yeah, well they'll love it till they're like four. Oh of course, no, I'm talking about like year one. Yeah, year one, year one.

One fan for one year is good enough. I love that, I love that. And have you thought about whether you're gonna be sharing Baby Journey online and... I have thought about it. I definitely want to I love that. And have you thought about whether you're going to be sharing baby journey online? And I have thought about it. I definitely want to share my journey. I'm pretty against, you know, putting your kids on social media. I don't judge other people who do, but I'm not going to. And I feel like I see a trend of people sharing less and actually pulling their

kids off social media because the dangers of it are like so obvious. Yeah, I know. That's something I mean, right? They talk about a lot like it's it's one of our discussion. If the Internet wasn't such a disgusting place, I would love are like so obvious. Yeah, no, that's something I mean, right? They talk about a lot. Like it's... I would love to. It's one of our discussion points. If the internet wasn't such a disgusting place, I would love to. Like, how fun. But no, we can't have nice things. People are disgusting and absolutely not.

Yeah, it's challenging. It's such a... Yeah, that's the hard part, right? That's the hard part that it's like in the same way as you wouldn't just put your kid up somewhere physically in that way that they're exposed to anyone and everyone. Yeah, and they just actually passed that law in California about like family channels. And Demi Lovato was a big part of it,

of like just child actors, but also child, like family channels, like basically exploiting your kids on social media for money. They're all still actively happening, but I feel like in 10, 15 years, like we are gonna be hearing like the most craziest stories about kids who were forced to be on like

YouTube family channels. It's disgraceful. But it's also slippery slope. You know, you start posting your kids, and that's the most engaging content, so you post more and more and more. And then you rely on it to pay your bills. So you're yelling at your kids to smile for the thumbnail.

And I never want to be that. Yeah, yeah. It's great that you guys have sat, because it's hard. Actually, I haven't even talked to Ben about it, but I don't care what he says. I love that. I'm sure he'll agree with me Actually, I haven't even talked to Ben about it, but I don't care what he says. I love that. I'm sure he'll agree with me. Yeah.

But we haven't had a full conversation about it. Okay, good to know, good to know. So he'll be hearing about this on the Jay Shetty podcast. Is this usually how it goes? No, actually. Certain things I feel really strongly about, and I say, Ben, this is what we're doing. Certain things he feels super strongly about,

I'm like, okay. Sometimes we both don't know how to feel, and there are people in our life whose opinions we respect and we'll call them and ask and get their opinions, then we'll come to a decision together. I'm like, okay. Sometimes we both don't know how to feel. And there are people in our life whose opinions we like respect and we'll call them and ask and get their opinions and we'll come to a decision together. It just depends on what the topic is, you know? Yeah, I think that makes a lot of sense.

Yeah, that's fair. If you feel strongly enough, it's a rule and... Yeah, and it's important to know, like as a half of a part, like a half of a marriage, like if there are certain things you don't have like strong feelings about, but your partner does, like, so let them have that one. And then when you have strong feelings about something and they don't, they will let you have it.

Like that's the whole, you know, shtick with compromise. But also knowing when you don't know. Like all of this is new to me, motherhood, pregnancy. And so knowing that I have no experience and talking to people who do, and if I trust them and I think that like their values align with mine, taking their advice. But like it's important to know like when you don't know enough. Claudia, you are one of the most fascinating people I've ever met.

You are hilarious. You are smart, profound today at times. I really didn't want to cry, but it is what it is. No, I appreciate you being so honest and vulnerable with us and showing that soft side. Yeah, no. Like for people to be able to see. You can't put Tourney in a box. Like she is going to surprise you. I love it.

I love it. Well, Claudia, it's been such a joy talking to you. Thank you for having me. We end every episode with a final five. Okay. These have to be answered in one word to one sentence. Oh, I love a game. Not a Claudia sentence.

Okay. Oh, I promise I will do one word. Yes, yeah. One word or one sentence. Oh, okay. But not a one word. Yes, yeah. One word or one sentence. Oh, okay. But not a sentence at 100 miles per hour where you squeezed in 79 words. Not Jay calling me out, okay. All right.

Okay, yeah, I'm not judging you. No, no, of course not. Okay, so question number one. What is the best advice you've ever heard or received? This isn't like, you know, a curated sentence, so I'm just going to like speak. And I think it's something I've realized as I've gotten older, especially as a woman in the industry,

you feel really competitive with other people. I feel now like I like to work to live and not live to work. I just would like to make a living. I don't need to be the biggest podcaster. I don't need to be the number one selling comedian. I just would like to provide for my family. I think when you get really caught up in the hustle culture, it's good to have ambition, of course.

But what used to be important to me is actually really not important to me anymore. Now, like just a job is a job. It's to provide. And that's it. Great sentence. Thanks. Oh God, I forgot about the sentence. Okay, sorry. I'm good.

No, no, no. It's well explained. I would have asked you to explain. Question number two. What is the worst advice you've ever heard or received? Oh my God. There is a... Okay, sorry. It's going to be more than one sentence. There is a phrase that I hate. It's called, like being realistic

is the quickest path to mediocrity. Like I so disagree with that. I think being realistic is so important, like so important. Yeah, good answer. Question number three, what excites you most about motherhood? I'm such an affectionate person. Like I love all my nieces and nephews

who are growing older now, they're like starting to hate it, but like I cover them in kisses. Like I just am obsessed with kisses and hugs. And like this baby, like is going to... This baby is going to love me more than anyone. It'll probably end up liking Ben more. But this baby like is mine, you know? And I can kiss it as much as I want.

I love it. Question number four. What are you most excited to see about Ben becoming a dad? Oh my God. Like I just know Ben is going to be the best, the best, like, most affectionate. The kids are going to love him. They're going to like him so much more. They're going to go to him. Like, I don't know what exactly

I'm most looking forward to, but I feel a lot of peace knowing that I'm bringing a baby into the world with, like, someone who's seriously going to be the best dad on the planet. Fifth and final question. We ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? It should be absolute law that everybody listens to the toast every single morning. And then on purpose.

Yeah. Of course, of course. Actually, no, this is my answer. Not on purpose. Sorry. Just the toast. Oh, thanks. All right, Claudia. No, it should be law. Like it should be NPR. It should be public radio. I love it. Yeah. That's a great law. Thanks. I love it.

Thank you. And then I ultimately, you know, that affects my bottom line. Claudia, thank you so much. Thank you. I loved every moment of this. Me too. Thank you. with Kendall Jenner on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing your inner child. You could be reading something

that someone is saying about you and being like, that is so unfair, because that's not who I am. And that really gets to me sometimes. But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am. Why does anything else matter? Captain's log, star date, 2024. We're floating somewhere in the cosmos,

but we've lost our map. Yeah, because you refuse to ask for directions. It's space gem, there are no roads. Good point. So where are we headed? Into the unknown, of course. Join us on In Our Own World as we uncover hidden truths, navigate the depths of culture, identity, and the human spirit.

With a hint of mischief, one episode at a time. Buckle up and listen to In Our Own World on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust us, it's out of this world. one episode at a time.