On Purpose with Jay Shetty - COMMON: The Untold Story of How Heartbreak, Rejection & Self-Doubt Almost Derailed His Success (And How He FINALLY Found His Purpose)

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

Do you struggle with self-doubt sometimes? What helped you get through a tough emotional season? Today, Jay sits down with award-winning rapper, actor, and activist Common for a deeply moving live conversation recorded at the legendary Chicago Theater. Known for his poetic lyrics and conscious artistry, Common opens up about his journey from a young boy on the South Side of Chicago to becoming an Academy Award, Emmy, and three-time Grammy winner. In this intimate conversation they explore the emotional and spiritual work behind his success. From heartbreak and rejection to healing and purpose, Common shares what it really took to become the man he is today. Common shares personal stories of growth and transformation, starting with his childhood dream of becoming a professional basketball player and how he eventually found his voice through writing and music. He reflects on the moments that shaped his purpose, including the story of Emmett Till, which moved him to live with more intention. Common also opens up about the heartbreak that forced him to confront the ways he was dimming his light, and the daily spiritual practices that help him stay grounded today, like reading scripture, praying, practicing gratitude, and staying active. Jay and Common also dive into what it means to be vulnerable in hip-hop, why self-love is the foundation for every other kind of love, and how trusting the divine plan can turn disappointment into direction. They explore how trusting a bigger plan can help turn setbacks into clarity, and share personal insights on setting boundaries, building real friendships, and staying connected to your highest energy. In this interview, you’ll learn: How to Transform Pain into Purpose How to Stop Dimming Your Light in Relationships Why Vulnerability is a Superpower in Creativity How to Build Daily Practices for Spiritual Alignment How to Trust God’s Plan, Even When It’s Painful How to Attract Friendships that Match Your Frequency Whether you're moving through heartbreak, looking for direction, or trying to reconnect with your purpose, this conversation is a powerful reminder that your story matters and you're right where you need to be. With love and gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Introduction 01:13 Live In Chicago 02:15 Common Before the Fame 06:11 Jay On His Childhood & Upbringing 06:44 Pain As A Catalyst for Creativity  09:01 Proximity To Greatness Is A Motivation 10:11 Living Our Dreams To The Fullest 13:49 How to Trust God's Plan  16:46 Trust That There’s a Bigger Plan 22:19 Transitioning Between Careers 30:15 Attracting & Building New Friendships  36:18 Everyday Routine For Body & Mind Care  40:40 A Poem From the Audience  43:21 My New Favourite Colour 48:49 Pushing Through Fear As A Motivator 53:33 Letting Go and Letting God 55:26 Common On Final Five  Episode Resources: Common | Website Common | YouTube Common | Instagram Common | X Common | FacebookSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an iHeart Podcast. That's why I'm sharing my ups and downs with you in real time and on the go. Listen to Jiggies and Chill on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. One of my greatest lessons has been in one of the greatest pains I had, and that was a heartbreak. Hip hop icon Carmen is an Academy Award Emmy and three-time Grammy-winning artist. What was the hardest part about learning to love yourself and take care of yourself? Sometimes I can bring that little Rasheed into the present and those feelings of being rejected and make this new rejection greater than what it really is.

Heartbreak, therapy you're talking about, the trauma you've been through, these are not themes that hip hop's known for. All I was doing was telling my truth. How have you learned in the moment to deal with that emotion and to learn how to trust? You understand what energy you want in your life and who deserves to be in your life. I usually wouldn't seize the moment.

The thought came to me like, I'm gonna call John Legend. And I tell him, hey man, I'm part of this movie Selma. They don't want a song from us, so we submitting it. But will you do the song? And he said. The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty.

The one, the only, Jay Shetty. I'm so excited to finally share the live interviews from my very first podcast tour presented by Chase Sapphire Reserve. This one was recorded live at the legendary Chicago Theater with the one and only Common. Special thanks to MSG Entertainment and the Chicago Theater. Chicago, Chicago, peace. I love this place, Chicago. I am so excited to be here tonight

at the Chicago Theatre in Chicago with Mr. Chicago. What a blessing, thank you. And one and only, Common. Thank you. Common, I want to start off by just saying how grateful I am to you for your artistry. I grew up listening to you in London. Your music, your words, your energies made it

all the way over to the 14-year-old me who is dreaming of being a rapper. Wow. And then I listened to you and realized I wasn't good enough. No, no, no. And we've spoken before you and realised I wasn't good enough. And we've spoken before, we never met until tonight. And your voice has such a power, it carries so much energy,

it carries so much that the frequency you operate comes through your voice so powerfully. I want to start off by asking you, today obviously we know you as the Emmy Award winner, the Grammy Award winner, the Oscar Award winner. Yeah, give it up. Right? There's not many people. There's not many people. But I want to know who Common was before the Emmy, the Grammy, the Oscar. Because that's what we've been talking about tonight, is when you're at the start of your journey. Who were you at the start of your journey?

Well, first, thank you, Jay. And thank you all. I just thank God for this moment. And who I was before I was out as an artist. I was a young black boy from the South side of Chicago who had a tremendous, incredible mother and a great stepfather and a beautiful community that taught me everything from God to survival, to intelligence, to basketball, to music, to life and to love. And that gave me a foundation of someone who wanted to actually be something in the world. I didn't know what I wanted to be all the way, but I knew I wanted to give something

to the world. And that's who I was before I actually got to be out there as an artist. Some of my dreams was basketball, to be a basketball player. But I can't hoop y'all, just so you know. Not as good as I used to, but I can hoop. But yeah, so I just wanted to be something. It's something though, Jada.

One thing that got me when I was really a young kid was I used to love this English class because our English teacher would teach us a lot about like black history and like all these great writers from James Baldwin and Dr. Mianjalo and Nikki Giovanni and Richard Bright. and Dr. Myangelo and Nikki Giovanni and Richard Wright. So one day she taught us a story about this young man named Emmett Till. And Emmett Till was from Chicago and in the 50s, I believe it was 1955,

he went to visit his family down in Mississippi and went to the corner store with his cousins and was accused of whistling at a white woman and her husband eventually found where Emmett Till lived when he was staying with his aunt for the summer and they they grabbed him out of the house and They ended up Beating him to death and threw him in the river the reason why I bring this story up is

beating him to death and threw him in the river. The reason why I bring this story up is his mother chose to show, have an open casket funeral and his head was bigger than I can describe. And the way they had beat him for whistling at a white woman what he was accused of, it always hit me in a place where I felt almost like guilty. I felt pain. I felt like I owe Emmett Till. And that was really a real driving force in my life, though I never met Emmett Till

in my life. His spirit was like something that I felt like I had to live for. And for those people who had been like him, who had lost their lives for no reason, but specifically Emmett Till. Now that was one of the driving forces for me as a kid, even though I didn't know what I wanted to be. And I just want to say that that meant a lot to me. It's incredible. Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely. Go for it. It's incredible to me how people we've never met and people we've never seen, how their stories can transform our lives. For me, when I was growing up, I was reading everything from David Beckham and Dwayne The Rock Johnson when he was a wrestler, all the way through to Martin Luther King and Malcolm X.

And I was really lucky that my dad would give me biographies and autobiographies of these people. And it was because of him handing them to me that I got so inspired by people who'd lived these service-based lives. But I wanted to ask you, when you read that story, when you heard about that story, how did you not get bitter or negative, but became hopeful about

wanting to represent and live a good life? Because hearing about those kind of pains and struggles can also make you act different, but for you it pushed you to want to do something positive with your life. The killing of Emmett Till was really the catalyst, many believe, for the civil rights movement. And how that affected me was, man, I felt like this beautiful young man didn't have like that evil energy to him, that dark energy to him. And I felt that I wanted to be a reflection of that.

I strive to approach life in ways where when I would go through something, I would figure a way out by figuring out the positive, the lesson in it. And I didn't have that type of like information as a kid or like I didn't have it like really developed, but I knew that as a kid that I didn't want to be putting negative energy out there even when I was dealing with difficult moments. That didn't mean I didn't feel those difficult moments or I didn't have the anger, but I couldn't stay there. And I knew when I saw what happened with Emmett Till, yes, of course I did feel some anger

and like, why did that happen to him? But I knew I had to make it into a positive and I wanted my life to feel positive and I wanted others' lives to feel positive. So that's what I used it for and eventually in certain aspects of my life I've been able to translate that, you know, and that's what part of the practice is of what we do. Like I'm so grateful that I know you can rhyme too. I know you can rhyme. I know you can rhyme, but I'm so grateful at how you are using your words and your gifts

and your spirit and your heart. It's amazing how the things that we do to build, to get to, you would never know that your love for writing would like lead you to this place. And I would never know that like the things that I experienced, whether it was with Emmett Till or on a positive note, some people don't notice, I was a ball boy for the Chicago Bulls, right? Yeah, I was a ball boy. So I was there when Michael Jordan first came into the league. In fact, I used to have some Jordans.

I used to get gym shoes or sneakers, as people say. But in Chicago, we say gym shoes. So I used to get gym shoes from a lot of players. And at the time, I would give them to my teachers. I would sell them. But I had some Jordans that I gave to my father that he signed. My father would, God bless his soul,

he would wear them to my concerts. And I'd be like, Dad, do not wear these shoes, man. These shoes is worth too much. That being said, I didn't know, you know, it's amazing how, as you said, sometimes, well, I did get to be around Michael Jordan. I didn't know him well, but I got to see that. It's amazing how witnessing that greatness affected me in a positive way too.

So it was some heavy things that affected me and some beautiful things that affected me. Yeah, and it's your power that you were able to notice both. Yes. And convert them and transfer them into building a positive life. And we were talking about dreams earlier, and I know a lot of this audience got dreams, right? This audience has dreams. And often I find, yeah, give it up for your dreams.

You gotta, I know there's dreams. I know there's dreams. And sometimes it can feel like, you know, you're holding that dream back. You're not living it fully. You're hiding it. You're kind of embarrassed about it, maybe you're guilty about it, maybe you don't believe in it yourself.

You said one of your early dreams you were telling me backstage, and even now you're mentioning was actually to be a basketball player. How serious were you about that dream compared to what then became music, what then became acting? How serious was that dream?

No, that dream was very serious. I mean, I was dedicating my time and energy, a lot of it, to just playing ball. Like, that was one of the most important things to me. And my dream was the Magic Johnsons, the Isaiah Thomases, the Michael Jordans, all these great players that I actually got to be, like I said, in the presence of, it was like, it made it even that much more attainable to me. I worked on it, I worked on it, and I got pretty good.

I mean, I can't, you know, we all, and when you a Hooper or whatever, you feel like, oh, I'm cold, I got game. But in all reality, I probably wasn't pro material. But it's beautiful how divine and how great God orchestrates things for you to be where you should be when you trust in that. I got injured in my sophomore year

and I was out for like months. And those months of me not being able to play ball led me to wanting to write more. Like I was already writing, but it was like, okay, I can't hoop right now, so I'ma write. And when I came back to the team, I wasn't getting any playing time, so I was like, well, I'ma go be a rapper then, man.

And it just, you know, it kind of guided me to where I should be. So my first dream was to hoop and I kind of got to live out that dream in a movie called Just Right where I played an NBA player. You know, I was like, wow, this is amazing because it was a fulfillment of a dream as an actor. It was my first leading role, but it also was like, I'm actually getting to play like I'm an NBA player.

I was playing against Dwayne Wade and Dwight Howard at the time. And it was an amazing experience. And it's something how, we talked about this, how you have a dream and that dream can evolve and it could become, you find a new dream and that dream can evolve. And I think, I'm really keen on dreams because,

and I really try to, try to like inspire young people to have a dream and even whatever age we are, but really I want young people to get that early because that was one of the most important things for me, growing up that led me to say, hey, I'm not going to go too far over to this craziness. Like, we in Chicago, you're going to get into some craziness, right? You're going to be around it.

You're going to experience something. You might participate in it. But because I had a dream, I would only participate but so much. I had a boundary. I had a dream, I would only participate but so much. I had a boundary. And that truly was my guiding light. Like, you know what? I want to be something.

I want to do something. And even as those things begin to evolve, it still became a boundary for me to be like, all right, y'all doing too much. I can't do that over there. The thing I love about that, and I want us to take away from this is sometimes your first dream doesn't work out. And I think for a lot of us, when our first dream doesn't work out, we think it's dream over, like game over.

It's that's it. Now we can't live any part of our dream. And, you know, I was saying my first dream, real dream was to become a monk. That's what I thought I was going to do for the rest of my life. And I did it for three years. And when it ended, I felt like I'd failed. Like I felt like it was over and I felt, how am I ever going to spread what I've learned? And how am I ever going to live a life that's dedicated to spirituality? Like, will that ever happen again? And it's incredible the plan, as you've been saying, that God has for you.

And I was sharing this earlier with a couple of people, I was saying that God's imagination is far better than my imagination. Yes. Right? Yes. It's the scripture in the Bible that says His thoughts are greater than your thoughts.

You know, that's very important for us to understand because sometimes in that dream, you're like, I want it, I want it, I want it. I mean, because I have that, I still have it to this day. I want this role, I want this role. And it doesn't happen. And now I've grown to understand that God's dreams and his thoughts are greater than my thoughts.

So for whatever reason it is, I'm not supposed to be in that particular film. I'm not supposed to be with that particular relationship. I'm not supposed to have that particular job. I'm not supposed to have that house that I really knew I wanted. It's hard to grab onto it at times, but the more and more, you know,

we practice it and speak it and know it and trust in our heavenly father and the creator of the heavens and earth and know that that plan is a master plan. And all we have to do is listen and be in tune and get the lessons from it too. Life becomes more beautiful. And I can look at those moments where I haven't gotten a role

and that doesn't mean that I don't feel like, damn man, I really wanted to be working. I was excited about this script. I wanted, I'm not going to fake and act like I didn't, but I can say, okay, creator, I know you got something greater for me, something out there and I'm going to do whatever I need to do to be present and also be obedient and surrender to what the higher plan is.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw something the other day that really resonated with me. My friend sent it to me and it said something like, when things don't go your way, it's God in the universe saying, not now, not this, I've got something better. Yes. Right? And it's that understanding of just being able to

have that trust in the moment. I want to ask you that, how have you learned to build that trust in the moment? Like you said, we're both human. We're not perfect. You feel that pain. I feel that I want to achieve things. I'm trying to build things. I'm trying to create things and I'm the same. I feel pain.

I'm not going to sit here and lie and say, Oh, I just trust everything. And you know, I'm beyond that. No, that's not true. Like I feel upset. You're like, Oh gosh, I worked so hard for this. I put in so much effort. We did everything. What happened?

When you've done it enough times, you get a better relationship. But how have you learned in the moment to deal with that emotion and to learn how to trust? It's been a process. And as I said, like, you know, it's a practice. I was thinking earlier today about, we always talk about bad habits, but I started

thinking about good habits. For me, one of my good habits has been to use the scriptures that I read and stay consistent and diligent in my prayers and my meditations, staying consistent with the way I love myself and treat myself. And that kind of helps me build the armor and the strength to be like when I have some of the most difficult pains. One of my greatest lessons and times that I've grown as a human being has been in one of the greatest pains I had. And that was a breakup, a heartbreak,

where I was like broken. And I hadn't been broken like that. I had lost people in my life. And that was definitely devastating. But it was something about a heartbreak where the person was, obviously you hear, they still alive. This is the first love that I had as an adult.

And I knew God had ordained it. But at a certain point, it became not healthy. And when we were partying, it was hard. It was really hard. And it wasn't like I made the decision. I got broke up with, you know, and it was like, whew, this is hard. And at times I wasn't eating consistently. I was sitting in this hotel room for weeks, just trying to find a piece, calling my aunt, talking to different people about it.

It was weighing on me. And I remember just starting to read certain books, like The Master of Love and Return to Love and a lot of love books, y'all. But each time, each thing I read, I would get something out of it. Not even, I wouldn't even have to read the whole book, but I would get something out of it. And I started thinking and practicing some of the things that I was reading.

As much as I was still trying to hold on and be like, God, I know you said this is the relationship. I thought this was the relationship. Well, I learned some lessons in that. One of the lessons was that I was willing to dim my light for others. And in that relationship, I was dimming my light. It wasn't, it's not that person's fault. I take responsibility for that.

And I was dimming my light, but I was doing that, not only in that relationship, I would do it when I would get around other artists that were more known than me, people that were like more celebrated than me. I would just dim my light for whatever. Somebody might not even, it might not even be about popularity, money or anything.

I would dim my light if someone else just had something that I felt was greater than me. Well, I started to learn to love myself more and that became a practice and it became saying beautiful things to myself and repeating those scriptures and like starting to do things for myself that like fed into who I am and the things that I love. And J, about being present, that really taught me to be present because at a certain point I had to realize, yeah, that was something that a relationship that was in divine order for me. And we had gotten the lessons out of that relationship, and I got the pain that would send me to a whole new height and would turn me into a light that

I never knew I had. And that's when it was done at that point. But it's hard sometimes to understand that it's done. But once you realize that God ordained the relationship and He also ordained the progress from it and the moving forward from it. Then I was able to move forward and be more present in my life and take that understanding of, man, I can believe in myself. I grew up in an environment where my mother is very strong and wise woman. Almost everyone I was around, you couldn't really like be too confident. Or my mother would let you know, you think you cocky or you think you're doing this. You think you're doing this. But you got to find a balance in that. And I didn't

have the balance. I would always dim my light. And eventually I was like, I have to declare and claim and know within myself and speak towards my greatness, towards the things that I envision for myself and the things that I know I am, I have to say it. I have to believe it and I have to not be afraid to wear my greatness in front of anyone. Yeah, I had to not be afraid to wear my greatness in front of anyone. Yeah, I had to learn that. As, as I was listening to you, I was thinking about something that I always try and remind myself, especially when it comes to people going through breakups, is that you either grow together or you grow apart, but both are growing.

Yes. Right, we think if we grow together, we're growing. But you also say you grow apart. Yes. But there's still growth in that journey. And you often miss that when you feel like, oh, well, if we stayed together, then it worked. Then it was good for me.

But if it ended, it wasn't good for me. And I wanted to ask you about, you know, these themes, I just, I don't want to take it for granted. The themes you're talking about, you're talking about heartbreak, you're known to talk about therapy, you're talking about the trauma you've been through. You know, we have your beautiful book here,

and then we rise, a guide to loving and taking care of self. These are not themes that you, right? Give it up, yeah. These are not themes that you, right, give it up, yeah. These are not themes, these are not themes that hip-hop's known for. To have you sitting here and you took my this balance of your mom and being too cocky. It's like that, like hip-hop has that bravado, that, you know, that feeling of, it's not really about humility, it's more about ego and being present, then here you are with all these awards

and all this achievement, but then you're talking about trauma and therapy and heartbreak. That can't have been easy to start talking about it on day one in that space. I can't imagine. It wasn't, but I will say, I did start with a great advantage.

And my advantage was, but first here's a quick word from the brands that support the show. I'm Dr. Joy Harden-Branford. And in session 421 of Therapy for Black Girls, I sit down with Dr. Afiya and Billy Shaka to explore how our hair connects to our identity, mental health, and the ways we heal.

Because I think hair is a complex language system, right? In terms of it can tell how old you are, your marital status, where you're from, your spiritual beliefs. But I think with social media, there's like a hyper fixation and observation of our hair, right? That this is sometimes the first thing someone sees when we make a post or a reel is how our hair is styled. You talk about the important role hairstylists play in our communities,

the pressure to always look put together, and how breaking up with perfection can actually free us. Plus, if you're someone who gets anxious about flying, don't miss session 418 with Dr. Angela Neal-Barnett, where we dive into managing flight anxiety. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right. Thank you to our sponsors. Now let's dive back in. I had a group of friends that allowed me to be me and allow me to be unique, allow me to be different, and they embraced me. They were talk, you know, they gon' talk their junk about me and like joke on my crochet pants

or crochet hats and you know, whatever like obscure things I was into. But it still was love and it still was like, we are supportin' you. And that kinda helped me to go out in the world and not be as afraid to be myself. So the actual like thought of being myself wasn't as difficult as it was seen. What was the question though?

No, no, no, no. That's the honesty. By the way, this Junie is, this Junie is good. I do want to know what the question, my mind went to, to talking about that. But for a second, I wanted to know, cause I also had another thought about when you asked the question, but this Junie, I went to talking about that, but for a second I wanted to know, because I also had another thought about when you asked the question. But this Junie, I want to say, man, I really enjoy. Yo, this Junie, man, I'm digging this, bro, for real. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers, brother.

My question was, how does someone who's in hip hop, which is known for being braggadocious and egotistic, have the comfortability? Yeah, that's what that's. So I was on my third album, and I was doing a show. And after the show, this guy came up to me, and he was like, Common, your music, this song you did, it's called Retrospect for Life and it was about abortion. And I was telling my own experience and story.

It started off as a poem and it eventually was a song. And he said, the song you did, Retrospect for Life, made me and my wife decide to have our child. And I'm not saying that, I'm saying that because that was a moment where it was like, what? Like, this music and me telling my story can affect you in that way? music and me telling my story can affect you in that way. Like all I was doing was telling my truth and I was doing it unapologetic and I just had to do it from my heart because hip hop was the way I was expressing myself in the best way that I could and in the freest way that I could, in the most honest way and sincere.

So for this gentleman to tell me that his child is alive because of this song, it made me know that I had a higher purpose with the music and with what I was doing. And that allowed me as a hip hop artist, as a black man, because ultimately when we saying like, yo, you coming from hip hop, hip hop has been the like, the garden for black and Latino, black and brown people to express ourselves, and then it brought everyone into the garden,

which is a beautiful thing. But it was a garden that started with our expression. So when we saying like coming from hip hop, expressing yourself in this way, it's really saying being a black kid, expressing yourself in this way, how did you do that? I felt so good that I knew that I could move my people through the music that I was like, I have to keep expressing myself in this way. And it was those songs, like love songs that ended up being things that people responded to from me.

People wanted to hear them bars and all that, but I had a gentleman come to me earlier before a show and be like, hey, Common, would you be okay if in the middle of your song, the light, which is about a woman being a light, in the middle of your song, would you stop so I could propose to my girlfriend? And I said, yes, of course. And you know, to have, to know that I'm writing songs about from my heart and spirit and my experiences,

and they become those things for people led me to understand that I have to be as vulnerable, as goofy, as like free, reflective, as like just open, like non-perfect. I don't know a better word that I can say. You're a word, Smith. Uh-uh. But, you know, I got to be that. Anything else is misguiding people or is not being true to who I am as an artist, is not being true to my purpose, and I'm not doing my duty to the most high God. Jay, if there's anything that I can tell you

that drives me is I, every day, I know you talked about every day, and I know you talked about every day and I want to put into practice some of those things you said we should do every day. I'm so into that. The exposure and all that. Thank you for that. One of the things that gets me is I want to please the most high.

I want to stay in my purpose and please the most high. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's, there's nothing better than that. There's no greater accountability. There's no greater source of inspiration. There's no greater channel. And there isn't apart from that. And as I'm listening to you, one of the things that really resonated with me was what you said about the friends, because to have friends that, you know, in England we call it banter, right? People you can banter with.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like someone who can like poke fun at you, but then at the same time has your back. Yeah. And having someone that, if you can do that with them, that means you're closer to them. Yes. So when we first moved to the States or maybe more LA,

when me and my wife would banter with each other, cause she's from Britain too, everyone just think we're like,'re going to break up or something. Cause we can like really lay into each other. But, but that's part of our love language. Cause the more I can do that with you, the deeper we know each other. Yes. Cause as we grow up, you lose some friends that you grew up with.

Maybe people move cities, they get married to someone else. They move into a different part of the world. Maybe you've been here your whole life. you had the same friends, but you kind of outgrown them now. Right. How do you as an adult continue to build new friendships that look like your future and not like your past? That's beautiful.

You said people was like, what are you going to say about that? What you gonna say about that? Man, you know, at a certain point, like once I started to like, okay, understand who I am, and I'm still learning, you know, like hopefully we always will learn till we leave this planet on a physical level. So I'm still learning, but I do know a lot of things about me and I know myself.

And I think one of the things that has helped me to understand about attracting new friends and who belongs in this atmosphere is people's energy, being discerning about people's intentions, making sure that any friendships, relationships, even moments, you want to be able to give and you want to be able to receive too. You start by giving. You know, most of the time, if I see somebody, I'm going to greet them,

how you doing? And hopefully they'll all greet back. Boom, love. And it's like, it might just be that moment or maybe more than that. But the point is you understand what energy you want in your life and who deserves to be in your life and you also have to be accountable for Being a good

friend partner homie in their lives and Like one of my closest friends is backstage with me. Even though we talk about tell the same stories over and over again like you know I'd be like damn we still but we still have we still tell them same jokes about each other but we also share scriptures we also share motivation he'll send me things that motivate.

We also talk about life and just being in pain, going through these things. And for me, that's a friendship that evolves. Some people, when you said, you said a very good point, sometimes you outgrow other people, but a great, beautiful friendship and relationship, you all grow as individuals. And even if you're not at the same place at the same time,

always, you might get there. And I think for me, just understanding when I'm around people, like, how do I feel around this person? And how do this person make me feel? And hopefully I'm making them feel great. Then that's the type of energy I want to be around. And is this something that's going to be consistent? We doing this quick movie together

and we can hang out at this time, but this is not going to go further than that as a friendship. That happens sometimes, but that's okay. That person is great for your life at that moment. And you all can give each other equal yoke. But ultimately it's about to me, just being around energy that you know

is there to better you, iron sharpens iron, and you bring that into your life. Well said, well said. I feel like when I'm vibrating at my highest energy, it's really clear whether someone wants to match it or not. Yeah. Whereas if I walk into a space and I go at my lowest frequency,

I don't actually know where someone stands. Yeah. So it's almost like being at your highest vibration or frequency actually allows you to see what energy someone's at and whether they're willing to match and you're going to match them. Is that new friends? Cause I don't have a whole lot of new friends to be honest.

You know, but I do have new people in my life that I work with, that I love, that I'll be there for, but I'm like, you know, friends, not just people you like, I'm cool with them. Yeah. If I'm my friends, how do you decide who can, who you let into your life, especially with you being, such a big, widespread platform and so many people probably wanting to be in that space. How do you make decisions on who?

I'm pretty lucky, I think, because my lane is so clear. The only people who want to get close are people who want to be spiritual. Yeah. And so it kind of makes it easy because they know that I'm not really interested in other stuff. Right. So it's kind of like the people that do want to get close, they're all people that want to evolve, that want to grow. You know, it's people like yourselves who want to become more healed, which I love because

my lane is so clear. And that's what I mean by when we're vibrating at a frequency that I'm not always at a high frequency, but if our frequency is clear, then it's clear to others whether we're gonna be a good time or not. So to some people I'm the most boring person on the planet because they know I'm not into the three things that they love but that's why I think it's so good to be clear about who we are and broadcast that I don't mean necessarily publicly. I mean, when you walk into a room, whatever word you say,

the question you first ask, the way you answer a question can completely shift the direction of a conversation. Like when I walk into a room, I wanna get into one deep conversation with someone in the corner. I'm not the person who's like milling around trying to say hello to everyone. There's nothing wrong with that. That's just not me. And so I'd much rather walk away from

an event having had a deep, powerful, profound conversation and made one new friend, then feel like I spoke to 30 people about Small Talk. And again, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just who I am. I love some of the things you just said because I love great conversations. I feel like that's one of the ways I learned so much about myself is through conversation with people who just have some emotional insight, intelligence. That's one of my favorite things, man. No matter where I am. My friends be like, boy, you talk a lot, you know. I am loved.

But I do love those conversations. And another thing you mentioned that I have to say has been one of the most powerful aspects about helping me in my life is to be clear. Like taking care of myself when it comes to like the foods I eat, like having, like I said, my own meditation and prayer. What does that look like? Walk us through some of those habits, because I feel like this group loves learning about habits and practices and tools and tactics. What are some of yours that you commit to? Wake up in the morning thanking God for the day.

Thanking God just for the day, for the breath of life. And as Jay said, this is a spiritual thing. I'm not like, when I talk about God, I'm talking about the creator of the heavens and earth that exists in all women, man, that exists in all people on the planet. It's not a religious thing. This is about the spirit that created all of us and that exists in all of us.

So, just communing with God is the first thing. And then I get into certain scriptures that I read that reinforce who I am and my relationship with the Creator. And then I get into my prayer and then I'll get into my meditation. People ask me, like, do you do this type of meditation? This type. My meditation is the South Side meditation. I just came up with, I pulled from everything that I had experienced and was like, this works for me. It's not going to be this 20-minute meditation.

It might be a minute or two, but I'm going to get it in, and it works. And it works for me. It's not going to be this 20 minute meditation. It might be a minute or two, but I'm going to get it in and it works. And it works for me. But seriously, it's that meditation. And then I go to this other book that I have that has these mantras and scriptures to them. At that point, you know, like I'm prepared for the day and going into that day knowing that, man, this is going to be a beautiful day. Because we all, sometimes I wake up like, ah, something feel funny. This like, as soon as I wake up. But me getting into gratitude and just saying thank you for the day and thank you for the breath of life starts to shift that funny feeling. And then like me starting to, starting to say the things that I know I'm created for and the purpose that I'm here for,

it starts to shift and my day becomes greater just from there. And even if some incidents happen, my perspective on the day is not down because I've done those things. Now, the diet and food side, I get into my, I got my supplements that I take and you know, take those in the morning. And then I try to get a workout in. Like I said, sometimes you don't have an hour to do a workout. If you can get whatever time, and it's just movement.

What I noticed is when I move around, whether it's a walk, I used to think, I was like, man, those old people be walking, man. You know? But now I'm taking walks. I'm walking in London, walking in the parks. And I'm like, am I that age that I'm walking? But a walk is a beautiful thing.

And I realize just the movement of the body is good for the mind and the soul. So this is all part of my wholeness. What I talk about in the book, and then we rise is that wholeness of like, because I had certain aspects. Like I was always pretty much a spiritual guy, like this and learning my spirituality, reading from the Bible at one point,

reading into the Quran and reading different things to just know God for myself. But then I needed other aspects and I started to figure out that the diet made me see clearer. Not only did I see clearer, like I was rapping clearer, like my voice sounded clearer, like for real, like from not having certain foods in my body and taking care of it. And my energy, I was waking up with energy instead. So I felt the difference and that was all the research I needed to do. I didn't need to read nothing to note it like, oh, I feel better doing these things. So all those things are things that I put into practice.

And I pick up new things, like just listening to you, I'm like, wait, I'm going to start figuring out this exposure, bless you. I'm gonna figure out this exposure thing, like and see what I can do. Cause I'm always looking to learn and grow. Yeah, I love that. Talking about exposure therapy, I wanted this event to be special

and this is gonna be a surprise for everyone. I wanted to give someone in the room, we've been talking about dreams, we've been talking about rising above judgment, we've been talking about taking your opportunity. I wanted to check, and there's no pressure, but I wanted to check if there was a poet, a rapper, a spoken word artist in the audience that wanted 60 seconds to share with the audience and with common their skills. I wanna give you a moment, and I don't want you to steal a moment from someone else.

So this isn't messing around. It's someone who truly has, I see the yellow shirt. I see one up there. I love that hustle. They hustled, they hustled. That hustle, I love it. What's his name? Oh, you don't know? Oh, wow. Okay. That's amazing. That's great. You know, I really feel like there's moments like this. We've got you in

the seat to give someone a moment to give someone an opportunity to put someone out there, to put someone on. I chose the hardest person to get downstairs. Now he's lost trying to find his way. While we're waiting for him, I want to one. Oh, here we go. I want to come to say hello before. Smack my brother. Oh, bless you. Bless you. Bless you. Thank you. Thank you. All right.

So your name is? Daniel. Daniel, where are you from? I'm from Chicago. From Chicago, yeah? Yeah. I love it. I'm from there.

You're a rapper, spoken word, eyes poet? I'm a poet in all honesty. I've taken kind of a backseat from the spotlight. I don't have any socials. I go and perform at open mics occasionally, but yeah my heart is pumping. I love it. Well this is this is what we wanted to do tonight because you running down it we saw you hustles you take a breath just to catch your breath. But that was the point of tonight I want to make it known that you can do it. It's not a, you know, I think we often feel like we have to wait for our moment. We've got to work for it, but we want to give it to people right here. So I want to give you 60 seconds to share with us the words, the work,

whatever you want to read to us. Common will give us a zero out of 10 rating. Are you good, Dennis? You ready? Yeah, you got it, bro. You got it, bro. You got it. You got it. Okay, so I'm going to give you something that's relatively new, and it's about the lady that pushed me to come up here. She's up there. Real quick, because I don't want to waste any of your time. You're not wasting anyone's time.

God I'm nervous. Why am I up here? Yes! It's called my new favourite colour. Before we dive into the next moment, let's hear from our sponsors. This week on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Hamler. Before we dive into the next moment, let's hear from our sponsors. This week on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Hamler. Maren Morris is here. You came out of a marriage, you came out of quote unquote country music, and you had a

huge growth spurt from what I can tell. I realized I was expanding and growing at a really fast pace. And yes, you could throw motherhood and the postpartum thing, learning about myself. There were a lot of like identity crises going on, but I realized like I can't look back and slow down for people. I want to set my own pace

and I will sacrifice my comfort to move at the pace that I have worked really hard to move at. Literally everything that could change in your life happened in like five years for me. And, you know, it was a slow burn. Listen to Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for taking a moment for that. Now back to the discussion. If I asked any of you what's your favorite color, it would come without a second guess.

You might even attribute some colors to different moods. Green might be the envy in a mean girl whose burn book would burn looks through sky blue retinas like our heavenly ceiling. Rilling with the beauty of God's creations but not a single star burns brighter than the patron my eyes behold after all they say that's where her beauty lies so my answer is red. That's my favorite color. It's something about the way it massages her cheeks before they form that rose that reminds me of Aretha's declaration a dedication to the strongest flower in concrete jungles never meant to grow but defying all odds God's peculiar creation

Sending sensations where you hear see and touch Vibrations I love to make a blush just to see a smile from those red lips I'd re-educate the inner child in me that was deceived to believe the synesthesia couldn't be achieved But who knew the color red could taste so sweet to believe that synesthesia couldn't be achieved but who knew the color red could taste so sweet? Scent like strawberries harvested solely by God's worthy I'll happily trick for this treat and I'm gonna leave it there cuz I am dying. I'm gonna rhyme, I'm gonna rhyme.

Yo, that was dope, real dope. Yo, I know it's kinda hard to handle, but everybody give it up for Daniel. Yo, I say it like this, I say it like this, and God, we trust. I see his shirt and I tell MCs they not like us. What can you do? Yo, you know the whole outcome. I see Martin and of course

I see Malcolm. We know right now I keep my mind heavy. I keep it all ready when I'm with Jay Shetty. It's like this, calm sis. Yo, I guess you know me. I gotta say rest and peace to that brother Kobe. This is how it is. Yo, we at your service. We right here in Chicago and this is about purpose. It's on purpose. Yo, I'm telling you these words Oh wow. When I come to the Chicago theater, letting you know it's time for me to climb. We talk about the spirituality, it's divine, and I'm coming straight for shot off the head. My man Daniel said his favorite color is red. Yo, I read through books, this how we look. We got been understand count since I never been shook.

I've been hanging in places where we hang outside. I'm talking about the West and of course the South Side and that's how it be when I know to go off And shout out to my people that's even from the North, ComSense. It's like this yo, I guess I'm living it I was cruising up and down the street called Michigan Avenue Grabbing new things that I need to do ComSense Yo, I told you, I believe in you. And believe in me as I'm receivin' these things. Earlier we was talkin' J about dreams.

And that's how it be, the style of B-Free. I just gotta say respect to G-O-D. Oh! Give it up for Daniel, everyone! Oh You have a dang it everyone that was surprise for me Wow Wow Wow Wow Wow. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was, I was not expecting that.

Man, I kinda, I love, I love rapping, man. I love, I love MC. And once we had the music a little bit and Daniel did his thing, I'm like, I'm at home. I'm on the Jay Shetty show. I'm like, I got it. I want an MC. So I just.

No, you just blessed us all. I mean, that was straight off the dome. It was all the references, the what up T-shirt reference. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's amazing. Keep it free, right? Oh my God. Thank you. Thank you so much for that.

And thank you, Daniel. Give it up for Daniel again, everyone. Thank you, Daniel. You took your moment. I love people taking their moment. Yes. And I love helping people have their moment. And when those two things come together, because I feel like I spent my whole life waiting for someone to give me a shot.

Yeah. And often we can feel that way. We're just waiting for someone to open a door or just let us in or whatever it may be. And, you know, oh, there we go. He just made it upstairs. And it's just beautiful when you put yourself out there like that. And I hope that, you know, one of the things I like to do differently in these evenings is have moments like that

because when you see someone who's sitting in the same place as you are, but takes their moment, I hope it's a reminder to you tomorrow when you're at the office, when you're talking to someone, when you're with your family and you've just been avoiding that moment, I hope it gives you the courage and the strength to go, Daniel did that,

you know, on stage in front of 2000 people with common. Yo, Jay, I got to say, like, you made me think about like, it was a point where I had to learn to take that moment. And this happened to me. This is further into my career. I'm this is basically, me, this is further into my career. This is basically, I was in a movie called Selma, right? And I was an actor in Selma. And I'm directed by the great Ava DuVernay and I mean, it's incredible actors in there and actresses. But anyway, it was about the people of the civil rights movement. And we finished the movie and the movie had really moved my spirit because We finished the movie and the movie had really moved my spirit because we were living in the shoes and in the skin of the people of the civil rights movement. So we got to meet Ambassador Andrew Young and John Lewis, the late great John Lewis, and it affected my life. I remember Ambassador Andrew Young at our first meeting said, what are you willing to die for? Live for that. He said, we were willing to die for freedom

and justice and equality, so we live for it every day. Right? Well, all that affected me. We finished the movie, and I'm asking everybody that's a part of it, what are y'all gonna do for the songs? What's going, y'all got any music in mind? They was like, yeah, we got something in mind,

but it's not you, right? So I usually wouldn't seize the moment or take that moment and I would be shy about that moment. That's what I was talking about, dimming my light at times. I was on the phone talking to my manager saying, well, what are they doing with the song for Selma? He was like, man, they said they got some people they want to use, but they haven't locked it in. It hit me like it was like the creator speaking to me. God was speaking to me. I literally said, I'm going to call you back. The thought came to me like, I'm going to call John Legend

and see if he would be open to like working with me on a song for this. I hang up the phone with my manager and call John. John is in London and I tell him, hey man, I'm part of this movie Selma. It's incredible, man, I'm part of this movie Selma. It's incredible. Man, like it's about Dr. King and the women and men of the civil rights movement.

Let's do a song now. They don't want a song from us, so we submitting it. But will you do this song? He said, I got you brother. I usually wouldn't ask like my friends and I've worked with John before, but I wasn't the type to just ask for it. But something I listened to where God said, look, call John.

I did it. And John said, I'm going to be over here for a few months on this tour, but I will go in the studio on Wednesday. I hung up the phone. I text him three titles. The last title I text him was Glory. He said he saw that name, Glory, and it sparked his thoughts and he started coming with the melody and he started coming up with the words for the hook. One day when the Glory's, I can't sing it, y'all, I'll mess it up. But he did that, sent it back to me after that Wednesday.

I remember getting the music. I was going to my father's memorial. I heard that music. I was overwhelmed. I ended up writing that song and that song became the song that we ended up winning the Golden Globe, winning a Grammy, and winning an Oscar award for it. And I'm bringing that up because it was that moment, it was that one moment where I decided to listen and not be afraid and just ask and seize the moment. And it happened.

and seize the moment and it happened. I'm so glad you shared that story. I'm so glad you shared that story because I think you know that was later in your career. Yes. And you still have that doubt where you have to listen in and I think I love hearing that because I think we all think one day we're going to get to a place from which we don't have to listen anymore. Right. To God, to that inner voice, to that direction. But the truth is, it's always the case. You always have to go inward to find that outward direction. It's not going to happen by constantly looking around, where do I want to be and where do I want to go? And you've got to constantly look inside and hear the ask, hear the calling, hear that question. Yes. Right? Because we're looking for the answer that you don't hear the ask.

Yes, man. You know what I mean? Yes, man. Yes. It's a really interesting thing. Like God's trying to ask you to do something. You're like, God, tell me the answer. Right.

Tell me the answer. And God's like, no, no, no, I want you to do this. I want you to do this. And you have to be open to the experience and the journey, too. It's a beautiful thing, but it's a thing where it doesn't stop. I mean, last week, I was like, man, I want this. I want this. It didn't happen for me.

And I had to really come to grips and do exactly what I told you. I work on it. I work on just still staying in gratitude, still knowing what's for me is there for me and really being present and okay, I prayed for that. And I said, man, if it's in your will, and I use my scriptures to, and that didn't happen for me, then I have to understand that I'm supposed to be here wherever you have me and I'm going to be trusting in that and be present in that. And that's one of the things that I just, it doesn't stop. Like I was later in my career

when I did that with John, when I said, Hey, you know, I called him, but it's still moments where I'm like, should I say this to this person? Should I not? But I'm more leaning towards because I've, I've worked on it to say, I'm going to speak up for the things that I want or just say my truth. If it's something that doesn't work for me, I know how to speak up on that too. I love that. I want to take the last few moments to end every on purpose interview as we always do with the final five.

These questions have to be answered with one word to one sentence maximum. OK. So come and these are your final. This is a real challenge. This is a real challenge. These are your final five. Question number one, which we ask to every guest who's ever been on the show. What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

To love others as you love yourself. I think that's the best. They're the best that I've received. I agree. Question. Oh yeah, give it up. Absolutely. Go for it. This is awesome. Question. Usually when I'm doing the final five with someone, I don't get this. So this is amazing. You don't know what a gift you're giving me by being here right now, you know, when we're doing this in the studio, it's beautiful, but we should do every episode with you guys here. Yeah.

Yeah, you know, that's us. Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received? People say this, they say the same shit every day. I asked them like, how you doing? And they say, man, same shit, new day. I don't subscribe to that mentality. So I looked at that as like bad advice.

And I'm like, nah, it's gotta be something new happening today, create something new. So create something new. Question number three, what was the hardest part about learning to love yourself and take care of yourself? Which is the tagline. The hardest part about learning to love myself and take care of myself is learning to love myself when I'm being rejected. That is like a real, that's a, because that is when it taps into the little Rasheed and the things that I've been rejected or abandoned from before as a kid. And when I'm rejected now, you told me to keep this answer short. It's a great answer, carry on. It's a great answer, carry on.

But when I'm rejected now, sometimes I can bring that little Rasheed into the present and those feelings of being rejected and make this new rejection greater than what it really is. I'm not present in what is happening. So I think loving myself in those moments has been some of the toughest times, but I feel I'm worth it, so I strive for it. Wow. Good.

Question number four, how do you show yourself self-love every day? The things that I do for self-love that I spoke about from every aspect, the prayer, meditation, foods, I make sure I'm diligent about it and like if my call time is at 5 30, if they're coming to get me to go to set at 5 30, I'm still going to get up and make sure I have enough time to do those things because that's me loving myself. That's me giving the time to myself that I need.

And that has nothing to do with nobody else, but that's me and the creator. And I think that's how I take time. And I also have boundaries now too, where sometimes if somebody is, I know is taking advantage of me or just asking for too much and I'm not able or willing to give that, I know how to speak up for that. So that's another way that I've learned to love myself every day, is speak up. Beautiful. Yeah. Fifth and final question of the final five, We ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show.

If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? We would have to go that love in ourselves and encourage it in others and see it in others. And that would be the law, to know that love within you and acknowledge it in others and treat them as such. Come on, we wanted to, I mean, beautiful answers. We wanted to do one last special thing with you because you kindly came out to Chicago to be here with us.

I want you to take a look behind you in a second when we have it up there. If we get it up, there we go. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. What, if you could communicate with your younger self now, what would you say to your younger self? Well, you had hair then, brother. Well, I would say I would say

I would say, man, no matter what you go through, you got everything you need to to be what you purpose to be on this planet and. Go out there and do your duty and do it in the highest way and do it with joy, do it with love, do it with grace. And you will make some mistakes, you will go through pain, but God loves you more than anything and you love you.

So show the world that love. I love that. love. I love that. And second one, what do you need to hear? Oh, looking very dapper. What would you say you need to hear most right now? The quest is still going. You still got a lot of growing to do, a lot more to give, be free. You're doing well, but you're going to be greater and you will do greater. And all those things you envisioning, continue to be patient and be diligent and remember your purpose. And Jay will have you back on

again. Anytime, anytime, anytime, anytime. After this next one, I'll see if you want to come back on again. If we get a third one up. I don't know. Oh! It's some AI, AI from the team. When you look at that, what wisdom do you, what wisdom do you hope you will have realized well, in the next 10, 20 years? You finally stop putting that dye in your beard.

Ha ha ha ha! I would hope that I would still be enjoying music, creating music, enjoying acting. I would hope to be getting my Morgan Freeman on at that point. And I would hope that the work that I have done is penetrating people's lives and families and things are just better in the world because of me doing my part as we all do our part. And I hope that I'm just having fun and in a good healthy relationship. Beautiful. Coleman everyone!

Come back anytime! Thank you, thank you, thank you. If this is the year that you're trying to get creative, you're trying to build more, I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead to success and the secret to genuinely loving what you do. If you're trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you. Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value.

Like, as an artist, if you like it, that's all of the value. That's the success comes when you say, I like this enough for other people to see it. I'm Radhida Vlukya and I'm the host of A Really Good Cry podcast, and I have the opportunity to talk to Logan Urie. If you're out there trying to date right now, being ghosted on Hinge, or want to create a dating profile

that gives you a solid chance of matching with someone you actually want to go on a date with, then this episode with Hinge's Director of Relationship Science, Logan Urie, is definitely for you. Relationships do require work. The best relationships are people who really work on them together. Listen to a really good cry on the iHeartRatio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is an iHeart Podcast.