On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Danica Patrick ON: How To Build Happiness Habits & Healthy Rituals By Listening To Your Body, Mind, and Heart

Episode Date: March 15, 2021

If On Purpose inspires you, Jay’s exclusive Genius workshops and meditations will take your life to the next level. Go to https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGenius to learn more. Life moves fast, especially when you’re used to speeds of over 200 mph! But mellow living in the slow lane requires intention. But who has the time? On this episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, Jay speaks with Dancia Patrick about the strategies she’s used to slow down to build an intentional life and the habits she’s implemented in her post-racing chapter.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Louis Hamilton, and many, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart.

I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Intercosmos with David Eaglement on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts

or wherever you get your podcasts. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast podcast in each bite-sized daily episode, time management and productivity expert, Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home.

These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to Before Breakfast on the iHeartRadio app, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think like everyone else when something comes, you're like, no, and then I'm like, but what if it's better than I could ever imagine? [♪ music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background and grow. Now, I'm really excited about this conversation today, and I think you're going to absolutely

love it, because you're going to get practical advice, deep insights, and potentially even a bit of a spiritual awakening. I'm speaking today to Danica Patrick, a former race car driver, and the most successful woman in the history of the sport. Since her retirement in 2018, Danica has become a business owner, entrepreneur, and an inspirational speaker. She's launched her own clothing line, written a book, and became an owner of a winery in Napa Valley. She's also the host of the podcast Pretty Intense, a podcast dedicated to helping people become

their true best self. I had the pleasure of going on the podcast last year, where we talked about my book Think Like a Monk, and I've been looking forward to interviewing and reciprocating with Danica's love through this podcast. Danica, welcome to On Purpose. Oh, man, it's my honor. I mean, it's through your podcast

and a few other friends in which you know, well, that I've been inspired to do my own. So like-minded missions. Absolutely, absolutely. And it's amazing how you can have such different journeys, but we all evolve to this similar value, similar mission, similar purpose. And I think that's what I love so much about getting to do this

is when I look at your journey, I'm like, wow, like, after you incredible success and experiences, and if this is when I look at your journey, I'm like, wow, like after your incredible success and experiences, and if this is what your journey is evolving to, you know, how lucky are we to connect that way? I wanted to start with though, I saw a lot of posts and videos and things on your Instagram recently of you doing yoga and meditation. It's really interesting, and I know I've heard you talk

about how nature's been such a big part of your spiritual journey. We hear a lot about the positives of nature, but for you specifically, how has nature been so deeply connected to your spiritual journey? Mm. Such a great question and so powerful. I'd just say off the back quite simply with nature, I would challenge anyone to say anytime they've gone in nature that they feel worse. Like just starting there, like, have you ever gone to the beach? Have you ever walked in the woods? Have you ever gone for just walk outside in your neighborhood

or wherever you live and been like, man, that was terrible. I hated that. It was horrible. The trees were so ugly. I mean, you never do that. Even when you look at a dead tree, you're like, wow, it's winter. And look at that tree.

Doesn't even care it's dead. It's going to come back to life. Why can't I be more like a tree? So I think that's kind of the magic of nature is that I believe that there's more of a frequency element to it that goes a little deeper, probably more scientific, but I think it's just that, you know, I feel like we want to be like nature subconsciously,

like being able to lose our leaves and not care, being able to die and be reborn, being able to grow freely, finding the light. I mean, look at trees and how they managed to weave their way on up to just find a little bit of light at the top. I mean, I feel like it's a big analogy for what we're all aspiring for. So I think it's a little bit more scientific and subconscious.

But then if we just look on the surface, I mean, for the most part, it's beautiful. I love those examples already. They're absolutely beautiful. And you reminded me of two things as you were saying that in the Vedas that I studied, there's a beautiful section called the 24 gurus. And it looks at the 24 gurus in nature.

So it gives some of those examples where it looks at 24 elements of nature, whether that's rivers, trees, animals, flowers, plants, and it shows how we can learn something from them. So you reminded me of that beautiful section. And also what you were saying scientifically, I remember reading about a term, I believe it's called bio mimicry, where you basically emulate nature in your life. So what you were giving the example, an example I often give to people is like, letting, and this sounds like a crazy thing,

but I remember I would often, well not often, sometimes I would see shaded snake skins when I lived in India. And it would always be like, we were told that letting go was like a skin, a snake shed its skin, like it's not this forced, like you don't have to break yourself. You just slither out of, you know, what you don't want to be anymore. And so when you were saying that seeking the light and it brought about so many beautiful visuals, I agree with you fully. I

think the challenge you set us all today is beautiful. Whenever you've been out in nature and not valued it, and I was thinking, I was trying to think of a time, and I couldn't find one to the point that I was thinking even visualizations, when I lead visualization meditations, so many people, their most relaxing visualization, is in nature. And I think that's such a beautiful message that you're sharing with all of us. We often talk about this paradox of we're moving so fast in life that we miss these beautiful

things. But the truth is, no one has actually experienced what it means to go as fast as you have or very little bit, I mean, behind the wheel. Like, you've actually lived life in a way where you are moving. I mean, how many miles per hour are you driving? Yeah, over 200 miles all the time. Right. Okay, that just makes me, yeah.

Every time I think I'm cool on the highway, I'm definitely not. Like 200 miles per hour, that is insane. And you're driving with extreme control, of course, and extreme focus. But you think about that, life's almost like we're driving 200 extreme control, of course, and extreme focus. But you think about that, that life's almost like we're driving 200 miles per hour and we miss these beautiful things.

Tell me about the paradox of having lived so much with machines for so long, and now spending so much time in nature. Was that different then, or did you always value nature even then? If I'm being honest, it was really because of so much exploration of nature and being in it more and doing more yoga, more meditation, more connection to myself spiritually, on a deeper level, that I actually started to shift frequency wise energetically from the

space that I was in. No longer was really that comfortable for me anymore. And it wasn't necessarily just about driving the car. I think that's more of a dance. That's artistic. It's different than what I'm talking about, but unfortunately it came in the package, which was I just like I stopped resonating with these sort of moods

that I was experiencing around me. And then just the vibe, the sort of vibe that everyone had, there was like a cutthroat angry nature. It just threw a rise in my own frequency of being in nature and doing more things that are in that sort of realm. I just wasn't as happy anymore. And so I didn't, I, in that last season of my career, I really like to call it like a

let it go. I was open to continuing on if something made sense and happened, but I wasn't forcing it and I wasn't running from it. I was just sort of in the middle in that neutral ground of allowing. And when it didn't come through, I let it go. And I just thought, it's not for me anymore. So, yeah, nature was a real powerful thing. Yeah, that's amazing.

I want to come back to letting it go. But let's dive into what you said, that you're talking about this spiritual journey and the death. We hear that a lot for a lot of people and I love asking people to define their own spiritual journey because I think it's so personal and so unique. And there are the practices which I want to dive into of yoga and meditation, but for you as a philosophy of your spiritual journey, what does that mean to you? How do you define that transition and that focus in your life?

I feel like spirituality is one of those things in my life that I have actually not set a destination on. Almost everything in my life, I'm destination oriented. This is how it's going to turn out. This is where I'm going to live. This will be my life. This is my goal. It will do this. This is the success of it, this is what will mean success.

And in my spiritual journey, it's literally like next step, next step, next step. So in this quest of being, I've never really unpacked this verbally like this. So it was a great question of being present. I'm actually present with being present, that makes sense. Like I am allowing myself to just take next steps as they come and as they feel right and not necessarily thinking about where I wanna end up.

Which is kind of surprising for me actually. Yeah, no, it's often what deters people from spirituality because it's so much of a revelatory journey. I know that when we were trained in the ashram, it was always said that a spiritual journey is one that is received, not achieved. Like we'd always hear that constantly to help us move away from that achievement mentality that we can do something. Receive, not achieve. What does that mean, explain that? What it means is that the spiritual journey is revealed to you.

It's not something that you can say, I've got it now and I've bottled it up and here it is. I've looking at my metal, look at my trophy of, I meditated for 18 hours today. Look how great I am. It was, it had to be revealed to you, the answer, the next step. And kind of what you're saying now,

that when you're present with your step, it's revealed, the next step is revealed to you. Does that make sense? Yeah, that makes sense. Wow, cool. No, you made me think of it in what you were saying of the idea of if you are truly present, it's almost like, I mean, you're making me think about just ways of understanding it and explaining it, but it's almost like if you're trying to get across a river and there's lots of stones everywhere, it's like if you're present on this stone, you can then see the next one

and where you wanna jump to next. But if you're constantly looking at the other side, you may just fall into the river, right? I think about too, there's another analogy where you're driving, let's say you're driving from one coast to the next. You can't see the other coast. You just follow those headlights, right?

You're just following the headlights. I mean, obviously, it's daytime sometimes, but you're following the headlights essentially like showing you, you know, the next mile or the next half a mile or whatever. And it's not that you can see it, but you just keep following the lights, following the road. Yeah, that makes so much sense. That's a really good one. I really like that analogy.

And how do you get comfortable with that uncertainty? Like how do you get comfortable with really truly being present? Because like you said, in all areas of our life, where all need the goal, we need to see the end, we need, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. But how do you get comfortable in that discomfort, and that uncertainty, and that lack of surety

of where this is going? I guess it's because, you know, I feel like this is an Abraham Hicks line, like, you can't get it wrong and you're never done. Like, I guess there's a thought in my head where I feel like I'm never gonna know the answers to the universe anyway. So, like, I don't even, it would be that.

That would be my answer if I had to set a destination, and be like, oh, I'll know everything there is to know. Like, I'll know everything there is to know about the nature of reality, which relates to me as a human. But I know that we won't get to know, like, until we die. So, I guess I don't even know what destination to set, because I'm so used to setting the furthest one. So, I guess since I don't even know what to set because I'm so used to setting the furthest one. So, I guess since I don't even know what to set, I just keep taking the next step.

Maybe I need to use that in my professional and personal life too. Like, I don't know how much better could it get. Let's see, you know. Yeah, I think what you said was really interesting is you talked about how when the frequency of what you were experiencing in your career was no longer matching the frequency you were spiritually experiencing, that's when you kind of were able to let go. What do you think about for people

who are almost maybe in a toxic work atmosphere or in a space where they're career, where they don't have the opportunity, they haven't achieved that level of success, where they now can move on or try something new. How have you thought about, and I'm sure you had to do this too, it's never perfect for anyone,

it's like how did you deal with the toxicity or the negativity while you had to before you could move on and let go? Because I think that's where most of us spend our lives. Like, most of us spend our lives where you have this energy and frequency around you and you somehow have to continue on every day, you have to wake up and go to work

and switch on your Zoom call. I'm just thinking about the people in our audience and I'm sure you had that bridge period. Yeah, yeah, and this is so relatable and applicable and useful. And I'd say, the first thing that I think about, like for myself, I'm a dreamer. So for me, this is natural. It's natural for me to think what's next.

Because again, I'm a futurecaster forward thinker, right? So I would say that it's thinking about what it is that you actually want for your life. I feel like I should go back, backwards, and say, if this is your situation, you get so uncomfortable, you really don't want to be there anyway. And so by nature, might even start to be seeking out other ways to exist, other ways to make money, whatever, whatever it's going to take for you to get out of your situation. But I would say like a tangible thing that you could do would be to just start, instead of focusing, again, back to perception, because perception's reality. If we stop,

if you would stop, if I stop, you stop, we stop thinking about the aspects about what we're doing that we don't like. I need to then getting more of it. And we start thinking about what it is that we want and envisioning that, dreaming about that, embodying that, visualizing yourself in that life. I trust the universe enough to know that I can't help but get it. Yeah, I can relate to that advice.

I think that's good advice. It's hard when you're in the moment, but it's good advice because I remember spending a few years in the corporate world in between month life and what I do now. And it's like, I didn't really fit in or I didn't necessarily love everything I had to do every day. But I was able to use the parts of that job

that did make me feel alive and just amplify them as much as I could. And I was like, I'm learning about technology and I'm learning about this and I'm learning about connecting with people and whatever it was. And it was just, when you put your vision and your perception onto those things all of a sudden even something really meaningless can start to feel meaningful

because you've started to notice the meaning in it and I think we just live in a world where we think of it as like this is meaningless and this is meaningful but even even, I'm sure you could say this, that even on this side of doing things that are more spiritual or meaningful or fulfilling, there's still plenty parts of our lives that we have to do stuff we don't love. Yeah, absolutely. And it makes me think of two.

It's another thing Abraham, I listened to a lot, Abraham too. But another thing that comes to mind is contrast. And how grateful we should be for contrast, because it's in the contrast that it shows us when it shows us what we don't want, we know what we do want. And so just because something, and it also allows you an opportunity

to shift your mindset to gratitude and go, this isn't fun, but I'm so glad I get to go on this vacation. Or whatever it is that comes as a result of it, because to think like you said that life is just, you know, this easy breezy flowing extension of vacation after vacation, after joyful experience, after joyful experience, like it's not realistic. And sometimes we have to do things

that we don't really want to do, but when we focus on why we're doing it, it gives it more meaning. I'm Mungeshia Tikular, and to be honest, I don't believe in astrology, but from the moment I was born, it's been a part of my life. In India, it's like smoking.

You might not smoke, but you're gonna get secondhand astrology. And lately, I've been wondering if the universe has been trying to tell me In India, it's like smoking. You might not smoke, but you're gonna get secondhand astrology. And lately, I've been wondering if the universe has been trying to tell me to stop running and pay attention. Because maybe there is magic in the stars, if you're willing to look for it.

So I rounded up some friends and we dove in, and let me tell you, it got weird fast. Tantric curses, major league baseball teams, canceled marriages, K-pop, but just when I thought I had a handle on this sweet and curious show about astrology, my whole world can crash down. Situation doesn't look good, there is risk to father. And my whole view on astrology, it changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, I think your ideas are going to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive and the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast,

wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Yvonne Gloria. I'm Maite Gomez-Rajon. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast, Hungry for History. On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home. Corner flower. Both. Oh, you can't decide. I can't decide. I love both. You know, I'm a flower, tortilla flower. Your team flower? I'm team flower. I need a shirt. Team flower, team core. Join us as we explore surprising and lesser-known corners

of Latinx culinary history and traditions. I mean, these are these legends, right? Apparently, this guy Juan Mendes, he was making these tacos wrapped in these huge tortillas to keep it warm, and he was transporting them in a burro, hence the name the burritos. Listen to Hungary for history with Ivalongoria and Maite Gómez Rejón as part of the Mycultura Podcast Network available on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved by the Tinder Swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify the narcissists in your life. Each week you will hear stories

from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, absolutely. Tell us a bit about that practical, daily spiritual journey that you're on. You mentioned yoga and meditation we've seen on Instagram. Tell us about that morning routine of yours or your daily routine that's giving you that trust, that confidence,

because I often feel like that trust, as you said, trusting the universe, that trust doesn't come from just a feeling or a belief. It comes from a set of practices in my experience of when you know you're doing something to have that relationship of trust, because it's a relationship and a relationship requires investment. So what are some of the investments you're making every morning, every day that you feel are giving you that sense of some sense of structure and growth. Well, you have to find a way to get sort of quiet enough, present enough, to notice the

signs and synchronicities and feelings of not only yourself, but other people in your environment to navigate accurately where you're going, I think, to get more out of the head and into the body of truly what's sort of like the universe guiding you through messages, through those people or synchronicities. But I would say one of my first practices of, first morning practices I changed, this was, this was I think fall of 18. So it was a long time ago. I stopped watching the news.

And I think that was one of the first most productive things. So it wasn't something I actually did. It was something that I didn't do anymore. So I used to wake up in the morning, and I'd watch like, good morning, America, or CNN, or today's show, or whatever. I'd watch, I just, that was my comfort zone. It was like a familiar pattern,

familiar sound in the morning. And I just drink my coffee and make my breakfast. And then as soon as I stop doing that, and this is something that everyone should know, is that anytime you want to change a pattern, they're always be discomfort. So I remember, and it's not to revert back because that's the easy thing to do. But it's to try and figure out something to do, like maybe it triggers something else that you do. So what I started doing is I started watching YouTube videos and like watching you on YouTube or watching our buddy,

Lewis on YouTube or Abraham Hicks on YouTube or whatever it was, I'd start watching YouTube videos and that was what really kind of like gave me a new morning routine. In fact, I think I just posted it about it the other day. It was like, so this is my morning news. And it was like breakfast with like a teal swan video or something. And so that's like that became the norm years ago. I love that. That is such a big one. I love that. That's so awesome. Like choose your news.

Like choose your news rather than like you said, you have to disrupt that pattern. And that's the hardest thing to do. And you're so right, the morning pattern and the morning mood is everything. Like it's everything. And I think we just start in the negatives and then spend the whole day trying to climb up to the positive as opposed to like starting in a strong place and then kind of being broken down throughout the day, which is better than feeling like you're trying to play catch up all day.

It's like school, you know, when you start off with an F, you might still end up with a B at the end of it, but that first quarter, all you're doing is playing catch up and you feel like you're never going to get there, but you start off with an A and you end up with, you know, I mean, it just seems so much easier to keep your grades up like when and trust me, I'm really scrapping for history here because I've been in school since I was 16. But, you know, it's like that whole thing of just playing catch up or for me and my racing career, it felt like if you could start off in the championship in a really strong way in the first sort of five races or so It felt like you were always ahead of the game instead of playing catch up from a couple DNFs to start the season off

So it's the same thing, you know micro macro with your day itself in the 24 hours that you have so now I'd say in the last like sort of eight months I've become much more regular with the routine of waking up in the morning and rolling over and it started when I lived in Indiana for the summer with my parents and I have meditation pillows and so I just like threw it down on the ground and it wasn't a big bedroom I was staying in and so there wasn't a lot of space so I just threw it next to the bed and I ended up realizing oh oh, that's perfect. Like, you get up and you just go sit down.

Like, that's the right spot to put it. So then when I moved back to Arizona and got my house and filled my meditation spot up, like, it was, it's just right next to the bed. And so I get up and I sit down and I meditate. And then sometimes I journal, sometimes I pull cards like I burn things, whether it be polo santo or certain incense. As we talked about in our interview, like, what was it? Sound site, what was it again?

Site sense and sounds. Yes. Yes. So setting that up. And then sometimes, like, you know, this morning I did yoga afterwards, but sometimes it's just going to the kitchen and having coffee. I really, for a little while, I was going to the kitchen and having coffee and then coming back and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.

I took like the body under control and I went, I know you want to automatically walk to that kitchen and get the coffee that you want to have. But like, take control of that and say, I am in, it is my decision what I do with the body. And it's going to sit down and it's going to meditate now. The one thing that I'm trying to do, and this is like, I was just thinking about this the other day, and it's funny. I was about to go to bed and I was starting to do what I wanted to do and I was like, wait a second, my mom hasn't texted me back today and I left her a pretty good message, like I thought she would have responded, I better not, this is what I want to do.

Turn my, either leave my phone in the kitchen so that I don't go to bed and wake up looking at messages. For some reason, I have a default to look at my messages. Like, first thing. And it's my alarm, if I need an alarm. So I'm like, I need to get one of those old school clocks. And I need to leave my phone in the kitchen. Or because I also think of EMF, like radiation, like signals. So I think, so then I at a minimum I could at least turn my phone on you know off of Wi-Fi and on to airplane mode next to me and then not so I won't actually have nothing will have come through in the night anyway. And then once I'm ready, I can still use it as an alarm, but then when I'm ready, I can turn on all my systems and go, but that's what I need to do next. But it was like the other night, like, the ego was like, your mom might not be okay.

And I didn't do it. I remember when I first trained myself to not look at my phone first in the morning, I used to lock my devices in my car outside. So I would lock my laptop, my phone, like all my devices outdoors, so that I couldn't even like get up and go and grab it from the other room because I knew that it was too hard because you're right. It was so hard wired.

And I started waking up to a post-it note that says, I am awareness or I'm the soul or some sort of spiritual affirmation that resonates with me. And it would be in my handwriting, it's on a little post-it note next to my desk. And then now I in my handwriting, it's on a little poster notes next to my desk. And then now I've started to change that sometimes for a little quote that I read in the morning, or there's just a highlighted line in a book. And I feel like when you start off that way, you stop your mind starting with anxieties.

Like I get anxious, I get worried. I can wake up feeling misaligned. And that changes as soon as the first thought you consume from the external world is a thought that is aligned and a thought that is powerful and whether it's from someone's favorite book or even from someone's favorite podcast. And I love that idea that you're sharing on

helping yourself to stop looking at your phone fasting the morning. And I love the idea of the meditation pillow right there. I think that's brilliant. It's a visual reminder. And I think we need these visual triggers and reminders to not have to make every decision in our head. Mm-hmm. Make it as easy as we can make it, right? Yeah. Not put it in another room where you're like, oh, I haven't been in to bed. Make it as easy as we can make it, right? Yeah. Not put it in another room where you're like, oh, I haven't been in my meditation room in a while.

Like, it sits that whole, it's definitely, like, every time I walk by to go to my bed, I have to walk by my table. I'm walk by the pillow, walk by my rug, walk by everything I put a lot of intention into setting up so that the space is ready. And to make it beautiful too, I'd say that too. Like, you know, if you want to create a practice, like, why wouldn't you decorate it?

Why wouldn't you make it beautiful? Why wouldn't you make it inviting? Why wouldn't you put a beautiful rug down? Why wouldn't you have a pillow? You know, it doesn't have to be like something that you have to endure. Like enjoy it. I am my type, my meditation table, my altar has pictures of my family, pictures of my dogs. It has crystals and certain significant things that I've picked up along the way. It has a malla that I do monstrous to,

or it has a pendulum that I'll ask questions to. It has decks of cards that I can pull from. It has books. It has journals. Like, it's beautiful. Not too long ago, in the heart of the Amazon Rainforest, this explorer stumbled upon something that would change his life. I saw it and I saw, oh, well,

this is a very unusual situation. It was cacao. The tree that gives us chocolate. But this cacao was unlike anything experts had seen. Poor tasted. I've never wanted us to have a gun fight. I mean, you saw this tax of cash in our office. Chocolate sort of forms this vortex.

It sucks you in. It's like I can be the queen of wild chocolate. We're all lost. It was madness. It was a game changer. People quit their jobs. They left their lives behind so they could search for more of this stuff. I wanted to tell their stories, so I followed them deep into the jungle, and it wasn't always pretty. Basically, this disgruntled guy and his family surrounded the building armed with machetes. And we've heard all sorts of things that you know somebody got shot over this. Sometimes I think all these for a damn bar of chocolate. Listen to obsessions, wild chocolate,

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season, and yet we're constantly discovering new secrets. The depths of them, the variety of them, continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share ten incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets.

When I realized this is not just happening to me, this is who and what I am. I needed her to help me. Something was gnawing at me that I couldn't put my finger on, that I just felt somehow that there was a piece missing. Why not restart? Look at all the things that were going wrong. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets.

Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on I Heart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions, so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion

when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Intercosmos with David Eagleman on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, oh, I love that. I had no idea. I love hearing about your altar. That's beautiful. It sounded, I'm gonna backtrack a little. You reminded me when you were saying you're walking past the pillow,

it reminded me of like a mindful walk of shame. It's like you're walking past this, this beautiful space to be mindful and you like feel the positive guilt of, I should use this space. Oh, now I wanna talk about your altar. That sounds so amazing. I think the idea of having an altar,

so I grew up with an altar in my home and my parents grew up Hindu. And so having an altar has been a very normal part of my life and having gateys and having crystals and maras and everything you were saying, like, and books very normal in my house. And then even now my wife and I have our altar in our home here, and we've placed our altar

in our meditation spaces, the heart of our house. So whenever anyone comes to our home, it's the first place you see, everyone walks through it. It's the first place I see after I wake up and come upstairs. I love the idea of setting up an altar. If someone doesn't know what that is, or if someone's more new to that concept. Why has it been helpful and how did you even discover that? Was that common in your home or background or something you were aware of? No, this actually started back in North Carolina when I lived there. I lived there for five years

and for a while I was picking up things at antique stores. And it was like this old little cart thing. And then it just sort of like migrated into being a meditation table. And I had, you know, my ipilow, I like lavender spray and I had all kinds of little things on this table. And I was like, wow. And back in those days, if I would be sitting there meditating,

I would have been called weird. So I didn't do it as much. But I had like a meditation table and I would do it sometimes when I was alone. But it was also originally really just a place to put a lot of really meaningful things to me. And I think if I'm pulling from like, you know, where I grew up in culture, it's like, almost feels blasphemous to say you have an altar.

Right. Yeah. That, yeah, that was wondering if that was the case. Yeah. Yeah. And since I didn't grow up in church, I didn't, in fact, my mom said not long like a year or so ago, she was like, I'm sorry, I didn't take you guys to church. I'm like, that's okay. And not because I was ending wrong with it, just because it kept my scope really open. And also I don't have those really negative attachments of sort of it being blasphemous or wrong. And it's the intention that matters.

That's what I focus on. So this intention of a space that's really dedicated to loving not only myself, but loving people in my life. So that's kind of how it started. But I would guess that's what holds a lot of people back from creating what they would call an altar. You probably even heard me call it like a meditation table

or just because it's lingo that's not. Yes. It's just like a little more inappropriate. I do the same. I can relate to that. I do the same all the time. I'll say my meditation space or whatever. And it's, yeah, it's just because you don't wanna alienate.

What is the definition of alter? I don't know about the English dictionary definition, but I know about the definition of, from a spiritual Vedic place, it would be that this is considered the temple within your home. And what is a temple? A temple is a place that reminds you of your eternal connection with higher energy, the divine, the source. So a place that is of spiritual memory would be considered the definition of having a temple in your home. a place that is of spiritual memory would be considered the definition of having

a temple in your home. A place that reminds you of who you are, what you believe in, and what you really care about. I went to all kinds of churches in my life. I became a Catholic at one point in my life and went to that church and then I went to Baptist church and then I didn't go to any church and I started off going to no church. But I remember what Baptist church and then I didn't go to any church and I started off going to no church. But I remember what I always used to be able to say, I could be just as spiritual, just as religious at home. And it doesn't take this building to make it happen. And in fact, if I don't show up here and get a message, what's the point? That's blasphemous, right?

message, what's the point? That's blasphemous, right? So yeah, I encourage everyone to have their own alter. It helps kind of add to this sort of idea of like make the space beautiful. If you had a spot that was filled with things that made you smile, wouldn't you want to go there? Exactly. And we don't have that. We don't have that. I think that's a great, great tip and great insight. And I don't think we've ever shared that message on the podcast before. I think it's a really, really great idea. And I loved how you described it there.

A place that makes you smile. Danicked, in your career, though, it's obviously you've had to be an extremely disciplined, focused individual to achieve what you've achieved. It doesn't come through anything but that hard work. Tell us about the idea of building a habit because you had to build habits to become a successful race car driver.

You've now built different habits to focus on your spiritual journey. If someone's listening and watching and going, how do I build better habits? Like I just, I can't get myself, even if I built this beautiful decorated room and I put the pillow down, but I just walked past it,

and now I feel guilty that I don't meditate, and I keep hearing everyone tells me to do yoga and pilates and meditation, but I, you know, and I'm sure you meet people who say this to you all the time. Like, where does someone start with habit formation from your experience of building habits? Well, first off, I think it's very difficult to just say, everyone should XYZ,

because it might not really be for you. I think there are so many different mindful modalities of life. And I know that I don't do all of them. I do some of them. So I think the important part is figuring out which of those some really are for you and easy for you. It doesn't have to be hard. You know, maybe for someone, it's getting up in the morning and writing five things that they're really grateful for and that feels easy for them.

It's not something I do. But that is a practice of mindfulness, of gratitude, of spirituality, of getting in the right mindset. So for me, I think that it's more a matter of testing the waters of a bunch of different things that you could do that make you feel good. And so that's really just comes through testing.

It just comes through testing. Some people, you know, some people are gonna love meditation. Some people are gonna really love yoga. Some people are really gonna love a walk with their dog. Some people, there's so many different ways to connect with yourself, to create practices and habits. And so I guess maybe not thinking about, and not thinking about habits as being like, all these are the ones that you have to subscribe to.

Go with the ones that feel natural to you. Like, go with the ones that feel good. Like, I love to work out. Guess what? It's a habit, you know? If I hated to work out, I'd probably try and choose a different sort of form of moving my body other than going in a gym and throwing some weights around So and and I think I think this really about following what it is that it feels like it's natural for you

and then It always ends up at at a deeper level. I mean we treat others as we treat ourselves So if you feel like you're worth the time to have a habit, like, then you tend to respect others that do too. So it always just starts with yourself. It starts with the self-worth enough that you deserve the time to take an hour to go work out or take a half an hour to go meditate

or take an hour and a half to go to a yoga class. Like, it starts with believing that you deserve it. And then also, you're why. Like, why are you doing it? Are you doing it because you have to? Are you doing it because you are being gilted? Are you doing it because someone told you this is what's gonna be good for you? Are you doing it because you wanna feel good?

Are you doing it because it does feel good? Are you doing it because it does feel good? Are you doing it because you enjoy the place that you arrive at when you're done doing it? Find your why. I think there's a great piece of advice. I've been going on about this on the podcast, but I've heard it's been real for me and it's what you're saying definitely aligned. So I've never enjoyed going to the gym or working out, but I've always enjoyed sports. So I love sports, extremely athletic, enjoy competition,

like fun competition and back and forth. And during the pandemic, and since I've really moved to the US, I used to play football, soccer, twice, twice a week in London, because all my friends playing, that's where I grew up, and we'd play after work in the evenings. And then when I moved to the United States for the first two years, I lived in New York, and I was very busy with my career, and didn't really make that much time for it. And then when I moved to LA, I realized I'm getting 22 people to play a game with football was pretty difficult any weekend. Like that's pretty tough to do. And I recently took up tennis.

And I'm not good at tennis. I haven't played tennis historically, but I'm absolutely in love with it because it's playful. It's fun. I run and sweat more than I ever would if I went to the gym and I was on a treadmill. And I feel like I start my day just with this like child-like enthusiasm because it reminds me of being at school

or that kind of feeling of like I just played a game of tennis at the beginning of the day. And I do that every, I do that about three or four mornings a week now. And not only am I getting better at tennis, but the idea of what you're saying is like, you've got to have fun with it. And my wife for exercising has always been to stay healthy and to never let my bad health be my own cause. exercising has always been to stay healthy and to never let my bad health be my own cause. Like that's always been a very clear thing for me. It's like, if something's going to happen to me, if it comes from the outside, that's fine. I don't want to be the one creating it for myself because of my negligence or whatever it may be.

And, you know, but the why for me, if going to the gym or like that feeling, just never work for me because I've never really been into like, oh, look at my muscles, that's not been my why. But for me, the idea of feeling happy every morning, like you said, feeling good. You know, it's a huge one. So yeah, I encourage everyone because for ages, I didn't feel like I enjoyed working out

and I kept questioning what I was going to do to stay fit. And then when you find it, it's like, oh, this is so obvious. But it's been life-changing. Yeah, it's so important. And there's so much. Look, there's something for everybody out there. So just because you don't fit into one box that somebody's talking about doesn't mean that you can't do it, you know?

Yeah, yeah. I heard you say something on a podcast with our good mutual friend, Rachel Hollis, I believe. And it really stuck with me. I think it's a really powerful statement. And it's not counter-intuitive to what we said. It's complementary, but it's also exposing a different truth. And you said that I've never experienced growth without pain. And I think that that's so true as well, that we don't always experience that. Tell me about where in

your life have you felt that that's just been so true and something where you've got more to that as well. It's happened a lot, especially in the last four or five years. It comes in the form of jobs changing, relationships changing, friends changing. It's the whole your new life is going to cost your old one saying. That's hard. We're not, I don't think we're actually all that sad about where we're going because the idea is that you're improving and you're expanding. But there is an aspect of you that has to let someone thing else die and death's are always sad. So the idea that you'll never see someone again, never live here again, never go to this job again, never park in that spot again.

There's the nevers are the things that have to, we have to sort of die to that. And die to the dream. It's when that has to go away that you have to allow that dream to die. And I think that's also a really painful thing. However, you know, on the other side of it, you know, and this is why when big things happen and the growing pains happen, you come out the other side and you're like, oh, that wasn't that bad. Because you're ending up somewhere better, ideally. So I guess for me, it's come in the form of true emotional breakdowns.

I mean, just like where I get it resonating in my body, I can feel it. I can feel it. And I always get a lot of action in my solar plexus. Sometimes in my heart, but definitely in my solar plexus, sometimes I have this horrible thing where I feel sometimes in my heart, but definitely my solar plexus, sometimes I have this horrible thing where I feel it in my body before I know it in my mind. So that's a real bummer. I'm like, wait, what's going on with my, why don't I feel, why can't I, I ate a strawberry and

I feel like I'm gonna buckle over. That's not right. Like, you know, my body's like, not right, like, you know, my body's like, and then, you know, it's sort of followed, you know, within the next day is by something that is emotional and a breakdown of some sort and all of a sudden there's usually like a big flood of information that comes through. But yeah, it's that pain or even even on a smaller level, explaining me not watching the news anymore. Right? So, wake up in the morning and it's, well, it's not maybe painful and I don't know, some sort of physical reaction going on.

But I kind of have a little bit of a mental one or, you know, a little bit of an emotional one where I'm thinking, well, I want to watch TV. And it's like, no, this shift is going to be uncomfortable. And so it falls, it's a scale. There's, it's happened in all facets of my life. And I also describe it like with messages that come through to us as the universe comes knocking for what is it, what we resist persist.

So it's like, it's knocking on the door and then it's like pounding on the door and then it breaks the door down and then it comes in, it can't find you when it burns your house down because you're somewhere in there. And that shadow is hiding somewhere. I've experienced that.

I know what that feels like. Yeah, it definitely. Where have you become more comfortable with letting go? Like I loved what you explained about the, I won't be able to park at that spot again or go to that job again or I won't see that person again. Like I think that was such a,

when you were repeating those things, I was like, yeah, those are the things we really worry about. Like that's what we're holding onto. It's that repetition, it's that security, it's that comfort, it's that consistency, that's what you're losing. How have you become better if you have, or how have you become better at processing

letting any of those things go? In a way that you think our listeners could today maybe learn, apply, take a few of those things because I think, I mean, letting goes probably the hardest human emotion of anything, right? Of any of the things you have to let go because we get so intimately connected with something. Yeah. It's the familiarity of the discomfort.

And this is where you start to learn that all these silly sayings are true. It's like finding comfort in the discomfort. And the comfort is just really just familiarity. You're like, oh, got it. I've been here before. I know how this goes. And you can sort of lessen the blow by surrendering a little bit more to it because it's in the resisting and the gripping that your house has to get burned down. So just don't let it get to that point where

you can just go, okay, not for me. And that comes with like going all the way back to the beginning of the conversation about getting quiet enough that you can start to feel and notice the signs and synchronicities and like the doors that are opening and closing for you instead of being so like attached to this idea of how things are supposed to go. I also think I have a little bit of an easier time because I'm a future thinker instead of a past thinker. So I think it is burden on those who are really symptoms of that would be someone who's really nostalgic, someone who has a hard time forgiving. But if you keep thinking thoughts of the past,

they can only be created in the future. And so you've got to just got to learn to let go of them. I mean, look, a futurecaster has their own issues to deal with, destination syndrome, but I think like everyone else, when something comes, you're like, no. And then I'm like, but what if it's better than I could ever imagine? Yes. And I like trick myself into thinking, like, but what if it's going to be better? And the idea is that it should be.

Yes. It always is. It always shows you. it should be. Yes, it always is. You've got to make space in your world. You've got to make space in your in your emotions and your perception because your perception becomes reality. So, you know, there's a whole letting go. It's like, when I retired, I looked at it like a letting go not quitting. And so learn the difference between letting go and quitting. Because there's a a really it's a nuance difference and to me It came at the end of my career That's what I had to realize was that you know

I'd never had a problem with a sponsor before and they they left at the beginning of the year I had all these other projects going on that I'd never had going on all these other businesses starting Spotser wasn't coming along so I I'm looking at all these things are happening. And I'm like, you know what? And I'm not that happy when I go to the track. And I'm like, hmm, hmm. I'm going to look at all these signs and signs and synchronicities and symptoms. And just, this is letting go.

This is not for me anymore, but we could come so identified, of course. We become, and that's why it's so important to nurture other aspects of yourself. Diversify, it's like a portfolio for anyone who invests or has an investor, look at yourself like a portfolio. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Don't be all in stocks and not in bonds or whatever whatever your financial advisor does. It's all about like diversifying so that you have stability because then no matter what happens, one aspect drops out and you have other to support others to

support you. Great insight. I absolutely couldn't agree more with you on that. I think the idea of creating space to really let go and to realize that you can't change the direction you wanna go in if you are still holding on tight to something that's being taken away from your grasp anyway. And often that's what creates more friction and more tension is when you're desperately holding on to something that doesn't exist anymore.

And you're so right about it being, we always ask the question, like, what if something goes bad and like, your idea of like, well, what if there is an opportunity here for the best thing ever? So I mean, this has been amazing, Danica. I've been so grateful for your time. We end every on-purpose episode with the final five. So this is one word or one sentence maximum. So this is your final five, Danica.

Are you ready? Yeah. Okay. So the first question is, what's the best advice you've ever received? Have fun. Ah, nice, okay. What's one piece of advice you wish people would stop giving?

I'm so guilty of opinions. You should wait for someone to ask for them. I'm literally practicing this in my life. I'm like, only an opinion when someone asks for it. I couldn't agree more. All right, question number three. What's the biggest lesson you learned in the last 12 months? That I was supposed to be choosing myself all along. Like my relationships were all about

like, this is how it's going to go. And they're not choosing me. And then I'm like, Oh, God, that's because I was supposed to be choosing myself. Thanks, mirror. Thanks, great, big mirror. Love you. Hey, too. Love you. So yeah, it's like when we treat ourself a certain way, that's how we teach others to treat us. And so, you know, I didn't choose myself all the time and didn't prioritize myself enough in certain aspects. So yeah, that was the last, that was the lesson. Yeah, what's a skill or a habit or a mindset

that you've learned now that you think would have helped you as a race car driver? More telepathy. You know, I think that I probably still didn't visualize enough. Visualization is so helpful. I mean, shoot, they've proven that you can literally increase your muscle mass with your mind. Yep. So I guess I would have done more visualization.

I remember doing it when I was a kid and go-carding and I did it. I'd visualize a perfect lap before qualifying but I'm saying, I said in go-carding, I'm sitting there, I don't even know what this is but I'm visualizing my perfect lap, executing it. But there's always more of that, right? If a little is good, a lot is better. I could have visualized more perfect passing,

more perfect laps, more perfect finishes, visualizing myself, winning. I think I could have visualized more perfect passing, more perfect laps, more perfect finishes, visualizing myself winning. I think I could have done more. I love that. That's great advice. Thank you for that. And fifth and final question, if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

I say this hesitantly, it's because I think that it always comes out anyway and if it was already put out on the front end, it would reduce a lot of confusion. However, it would be a different world, but it's something I seek every day and that's just truth. I'm such a true seeker and I feel like it always comes out anyway. And if you can't understand what's going on, it's because you don't have enough information because there's not enough truth included. And so I think that I just would say that everyone would have to be truthful.

I mean, I'd also like to caveat that with kindness, but sometimes the truth hurts too. That's great. Thank you so much, Danica. That's been an amazing time spending with you. Everyone go and subscribe to Danica's podcast, pretty intense. And you can order a book by the same title. And Danica, again, thank you so much for being so generous with your time and energy with us. And I can't believe we still haven't met. So I'm looking forward that day when we can be in the same room together and share some energy and share more of these great insights.

So I really, really look forward to that. I would just love that. I'm so, it makes me sad that we couldn't do this in person, but I know that day will come. And it might not be in the form of podcasts. And maybe that's the luck, is that maybe if we just let go of this idea that it was supposed to happen for the interview, and now we get to go like have lunch.

Hard. Dinner, I make sure. Why if, and maybe, maybe it's gonna come in a whole different, more expansive form. Well, no, awesome, Danica, thank you so much again. This was so much fun, and I look forward to seeing you soon. Yeah, I hope so. Awesome. fun and I look forward to seeing you soon. I hope so. What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War II?

An opera singer who burned down an honorary to kidnap her lover, and a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, haven't comment. They're all real women who were left out of your history books. You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast. Check it out on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford,

a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHort Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care. Regardless of the progress you've made in life,

I believe we could all benefit from wisdom on handling common problems, making life seem more manageable, now more than ever. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the One You Feed Podcast, where I interview thought-provoking guests who offer practical wisdom that you can use to create the life you want. 25 years ago, I was homeless and addicted to heroin. I've made my way through addiction recovery, learned to navigate my clinical depression, and figured out how to build a fulfilling life. The one you feed has over 30 million downloads and was named one of the best podcasts by Apple

Podcasts. Oprah Magazine named this is one of 22 podcasts to help you live your best life. You always have the chance to begin again and feed the best of yourself. The trap is the person often thinks they'll act once they feel better. It's actually the other way around. I have had over 500 conversations with world-renowned experts and yet I'm still striving to be better. Join me on this journey. Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get

your podcasts. on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.