On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Gary Vee ON: How to Stop Caring What Other People Think of You
Episode Date: June 17, 2019You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive sho...w where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.On this special episode of On Purpose, I got to sit down with my good friend Gary Vee.Gary is an investor, a serial entrepreneur and a 5 time New York Times bestselling author.We got to talk in depth about how to stop caring what people think about you, why you should focus on happiness not hustle and why you need to contextualize advice before you decide to listen to it.There are so many teachable moments in this episode and I know you will learn so much!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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All I've been thinking about for the first 10 minutes and all I'll think about for the
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Hello everyone, welcome back to On Purpose.
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And today's guest doesn't really need an introduction.
I know that you're all aware watching his content everywhere from Facebook to Instagram
to YouTube, and many other platforms linked in included.
But today I love the fact that we're not watching a keynote.
We're not watching a Q&A.
We're not watching a one minute or three minute IGTV clip.
We're getting a moment to dive in on purpose
with the one and only Gary V.
Serial entrepreneur, investor, five times New York Times,
best selling author, and the founder of VaynerMedia
and VaynerX Gary.
Thank you for being here, man.
Well, actually, I'm in your office.
It's all family.
I appreciate it, man.
Thank you so much for doing this.
No, thank you so much.
And that's an everything on this.
Thank you, man.
Thank you.
I've really been looking forward to this
because I've been in this office a few times.
And those meetings with you have always been memorable.
Thank you.
And I say this to everyone when I'm thinking about being an entrepreneur,
when I'm thinking about working hard,
the person's content I switch on to as yours.
I appreciate that.
So for me, your content has been really powerful for me.
Thank you.
And I don't think many people knew this
when I first came in and interviewed for crushing it,
which was so much fun,
but that for me, when I hear you speak,
I feel very aligned with a lot of it, and actually it's helped
me gain conscious competence on what I already do.
So I think a lot of us have unconscious competence.
We're doing stuff right, but we don't even know we're doing it right.
And then when I listen to you, I'm like, oh, I do that.
Okay, I'm doing it right.
And that's been a really nice, reaffirming belief, man.
You know, it's funny to hear you say that I do that for myself.
Yes.
I'm such an intuitive executor that I live through life where I go, wait a that, I do that for myself. Yes. I'm such an intuitive executor
that I live through life where I go,
wait a minute, I'm doing this,
and then I'm almost doing it for myself,
which is why I think it's easy for me to do it for others.
Yes.
A lot of, you know, it's even,
what we just saying that out loud made me realize,
huh, that's similar to the things I talk about.
I am so uncomfortable to talk about anything that I haven't lived.
It's easy to share my opinions and thoughts and aspirations
because they're completely predicated on actually doing it,
not on hypothesis or ideology or things I've heard from others.
It's a very safe place.
Absolutely.
Yeah, and this is, yeah, I totally agree.
It's one of the reasons why I don't have any advice
on parenting.
Like I always get advice,
asked questions on parenting when I'm on panels or whatever.
And I'm like, I'm not a parent yet.
So my opinions are there.
I'd love to ask you a question.
It's funny.
I've been that way for a long time.
And then I started thinking about the great coaches.
You know, there's some, all time great athletic coaches
who've never played the sport. And I always think about that, which is, you know, there's some there's some all-time great athletic coaches who've never played the sport. And I always think about that which is, you know, I am now a parent, but I can tell you that a lot of my
opinions on parenting have become true because I was actually able to synthesize it from the perspective of the child.
So I've been parented.
Yes.
Which gives me quite a big perspective. And that's something you may want to, you know, I also intuitively, through our, you know,
couple of our business meetings and some of our dinners, like I do think naturally we do
align in a lot of ways, though we manifest our energies hourly differently.
I think that one thing for you to debate is what in the way that you were parented has created you?
for you to debate is what in the way that you were parented has created you and what does that mean is I think that I think that's something we need to.
I actually think that I am consumer centric, which is why I'm a great salesperson.
I don't think about me trying to sell this basketball card.
I think about why would Jason want this basketball card?
Absolutely.
I actually think that most of my parenting hot takes come from the perspective
of the child, not the parent. It's being the consumer of instead of the pontificator of.
So I don't know. I actually think that children should be speaking more. As we get older,
as a 44 year old, our parenting advice should be predicated on tapping into who we were as children,
not who we're parenting today, because a lot of the shortcomings of parenting
is the opinions of other parents and teachers not staying in a silo.
But when you think of yourself as a child, you can only take the context of what your parents did
in your perception at this point, right, wrong, or indifferent.
Yeah, I like that. No, I agree. And I think it's a part of it is just,
and I think you match this,
and that's what I'm trying to do is,
if I am advising on something that I haven't done yet,
it's balanced with humility, right?
Like, it's coming from a place of...
You're more obvious with your humility than I am.
One of the reasons 25% of people,
or whatever the number is,
at first struggle with me,
or as you've navigated through life,
maybe you've been surprised at times
like oh, you don't like Gary,
it's because your energy as a communicator,
the humility is extremely obvious
and that's why the audience loves you so much.
Ironically, humility is why my audience loves me so much,
except there's a veneer of a competitive alpha
that a cursing jersey kid that doesn't necessarily immediately become obvious, which
allows a certain amount of judgment and not misunderstanding because I am who I am.
And so I don't judge others for that.
But yes, I think that people see my humility tend if they dig in a little bit.
It's you are much more obvious though.
It is absolutely our connective tissue on palpobleness.
Yes.
That yes, we do have some natural talents in life experiences, but there is an inherent
understanding that we share on that.
I'm absolutely convinced that my humility is a deep foundational aspect to my success,
and I do not believe that most people actually see that at first with me.
Yeah, and a lot of people would just say that when you're saying that about yourself, it's like,
oh, well, yeah, it's easy to say, but you're right, someone needs to dig in, right? You need to
dig in, you need to get stuck into someone's life to really know what they're for. And when you ask
me about that parenting point, the first thing that came to my mind is, my parents never really
got excited about metrics or achievements for me.
And I love that because it pushed me further.
So we didn't really celebrate every win.
Like if I got a first class degree, which I did,
my parents weren't like,
sharing on the rooftops of it.
It was like, well, what's next?
And so for me, my mind's it's always-
In a healthy way.
In a healthy way, not in like a whole-
No, but it's in here.
The reason I jumped in is for people here,
you know, like I even got goosebumps.
Like I can hear a lot of people now hearing that
and saying, oh, that's a lot of fucking pressure.
Like I don't smell the roses either.
I've never celebrated shit in a healthy way.
It does it, it's like this balancing act of like,
that's awesome, but I'm not gonna let that achievement
make me be a dick face at the same token.
If I never achieve another thing, that's okay.
It's the opportunity to try
to achieve the next thing that is exciting, not the judgment of if I do from others.
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think we have that challenge where you either get cocky or
complacent. When something goes, well, you kind of go either way and it's like you either
let compliments get to your head or you let criticism get to your heart. And I feel like if you're really good at letting compliments get to your head
You're more likely to let criticism get to your heart
You know, it's the same thing. I always say which is like I can't hear anything right?
I don't hear the booze. I don't hear the cheers. I talk a lot about why people aren't capable of producing content to the world
Which is now the requirement as a human to achieve happiness. I genuinely believe that. I believe taking advantage of all of our abilities
to reach out to the world through these new channels
with no friction is an enormous gift and opportunity.
The reason most can't achieve it is because they're unable
to take back the inevitable feedback
that immediately comes with the opportunity.
To your point, I genuinely believe the reason
I can take the feedback is because when I go into my Instagram post
that I just posted, literally in back-to-back content comments,
excuse me, one will say that I'm walking on water
and the next will say that I'm a snake oil salesman,
Charlotte, and the fact that neither penetrate my psyche
is absolutely where I'm at.
Absolutely, and that's a quantumity, right?
Like that is that. whatever you wanna call it,
that's the thing.
It's the game because people want the positive reinforcement,
you know, there's so many models on Instagram, right?
Men and women, you're so beautiful, you look so great,
you're so beautiful, you look so great,
you're full of shit, you look fake,
they're crushed because they take too much
in that you look so great.
Yes, and I think, and I think that's the point
that we're hitting on here, which I love,
is that that over emphasis on positive,
it's what makes the negative so hard to take.
It's also an incredible place for me to add some clarity
that I haven't done a good job on historically,
which is something I'm thinking a lot more about.
Rogoff, it's fun to see you here
because we had this call yesterday.
I'm like, look, I'm at my worst
when I'm excited in an interview,
and I'm drilling a headline.
Because I love doing it, it's fun. It's showmanship.
It's wrestling, promo videos. It's my natural state.
I talk a lot about not giving a fuck about other people's opinions.
It's also because I take the complete opposite approach,
which is every negative piece of feedback that I get,
I genuinely go into two places.
A, I deploy sympathy and empathy for the person leaving the comment
because inevitably, immediately on that action
I know that they're not in a good place. If you go to somebody else's social
Consume it and then spew hate. You're not in a you're not in a good place. No, I'm happy. You're unhappy
Yeah, next I start trying to see the insight to any truth in it
You know the second that you're high on your own supply you're vulnerable.. Yes. And so I don't, I don't give a fuck about anybody's opinion. Ironically, I value everybody's
opinion. I just synthesize it. And then decide to take the good from it. Yes. By deploying
empathy and sympathy to the deliverable of the, I'm stunned by our lack of conversation
society right now on this part.
There's a lot of judgment and hot takes and comments.
We need to judge the person delivering the message.
Absolutely.
Like, how is your mother's opinion of you have the same weight as anonymous 54s comment on Instagram?
Yeah.
That is ludicrous.
Absolutely.
In the same way of how does a coworker's opinion,
you have to factor that in different than your mother
because your mother blindly thinks you're the best
if you're lucky enough to have that mother.
You know, and so, super fast.
It's just pulling from opposite directions
and I think, you know, I'm pulling so hard
from opposite directions that my balance is coming in that.
Yeah, no, I get that, and I love breaking that down into
what I call the four C's of trust.
It's like, what are you trusting or judging people
of competence, care, character or consistency?
Right, these are the four things that you can judge
someone of, like you're judging someone of their competency.
But don't remember that, that person may be competent,
they may not care about it.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah, sure, your opinions.
Yeah.
So I hear that, which makes a lot of sense to me.
It was funny where my heart went and my brain.
I am stunned by how almost binary my judgment
is completely predicated on intent.
If you, if I believe your intent was to be there for me,
but your actions were not that you were consistent,
I'm completely unbothered, and I don't know what that means,
but I'm super fucking grateful that I have it.
Yeah, but that's an art and a skill that you have.
And I'd like to think I have the same where I'm able to do that too.
I'm able to let go.
What is the concept of not having expectations from your perspective?
Because I would tell you that that may be my great superpower.
Yeah.
You know, somebody said to me, Tom Bellew,
on my podcast said to me,
Gary, your superpower is your ability not to judge yourself.
And I've been saying it a lot.
And then literally on a flight this week,
I was like, right, because I don't judge others.
Yes.
I'm able to not judge myself,
because I don't judge others.
A lot of people who are like, a lot of, right? So tell me, I don't know, I'm just. I'm just so powerful don't judge others a lot of people who are like a lot of right?
So tell me I don't know. I'm just powerful
No, I love that that's such a great point. How do you start to great point? No, you're your spot on because the reason why we have
We judge others these because we judge ourselves right the opposite of what you're saying and so for me
It's the same thing the reason why I don't expect is because I see everything is my responsibility
Yeah, I see everything is my work. work, and I see everything else as a bonus.
Like it's just amazing that anyone
even cares about me or has time for me,
or makes an effort to do something,
or connect with you to someone, whatever it is.
And that's just a beautiful bonus of life.
But I've got to be in charge of it.
And I think that just came from many years
of having expectations.
I think that came from times when I did expect,
and I didn't get, and I realized I don't want to feel this way anymore
I don't want to experience this anymore. This doesn't make any sense and I think for a lot of people
We do start our lives expecting certain things whether it's from a relationship a boyfriend a girlfriend or whatever
It is and then we have to deconstruct that well this gets into parenting. Yes, you know
This is the framework of what our parents are creating for us
We're one of the most interesting things that are happening in a lot of modern societies
as we have had disproportionate prosperity over five, six, seven decades.
America has had a clean run.
I mean, we've had a couple of recessions here and there.
We've had a couple of internal country scandals.
We have underlining issues of sexism and racism and things like nature. But in its most macro, this has been the empire, things have been good, and what has happened
is we've created unbelievable levels of entitlement.
Intitlement, entitlement.
Intitlement.
Intitlement.
I can't stop thinking about it.
It's starting to consume me.
That I never, you know, it sounds crass, like never expect anything
from anyone, but I almost want to find new ways to say it,
just to help people understand it is the great gift of life.
When you get into a place where you have zero expectations
and you actually don't believe you're entitled to anything,
you can actually start doing things.
Yes, absolutely, because otherwise that's what's paralyzing you.
Because you feel like somebody else is in control.
The man, the society, the government, the president, the not president, the governor,
the mayor, the system, the systematic infrastructure.
And really it's a crotch, right?
War.
It's a crotch.
At a worse, it's an excuse. At its best, it's a crotch, right? Like war. It's just a crotch. That's another way to say it. And at war, it's an excuse.
Yes.
At its best, it's a lack of perspective.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
At the worst, it's an excuse.
Correct.
Exactly.
It's just like, it's another way of not having to do it.
I hate when people that are the opposite of that aren't sympathetic to that.
Some people don't use it as an excuse.
They're absolutely people who use it as an excuse because they just don't wanna do
and they wanna continue to be entitled lazy,
whatever one would want to deploy.
But I hate when people go the other way
and a lot of people think I can go that other way
where it's like it's on you,
it's like no, it's a little more subtle than that.
There are people that just don't have that perspective
and that's why talking about it in moments like this,
lead to, look, when I do podcasts like this
knowing that you have such a thoughtful audience,
I come on knowing we overlap in a lot of places,
all I've been thinking about for the first 10 minutes,
and all I'll think about for the rest of this talk is,
can I bring one person value?
Can I add an adjective, a sentence,
a saying the same thing in a different way than J
or somebody else says that helps Karen,
who's listening to this right now in her treadmill, like actually do something.
There's nothing more intoxicating than when you're a communicator, than getting the feedback
loop of somebody saying, you said something, I did something, I'm happier now, end of
story.
Yeah, absolutely.
And whether you're listening to or watching this right now, whether you're on a treadmill,
whether you're commuting to or from work, whether you're walking your dog right now, I want
to make, want you to make sure also that you're listening for that.
Right?
I just want to prepare the audience.
Everyone who's listening and watching right now, make sure you're listening for that
to find that in this podcast.
Well, let me say this is an outside observer.
If you're listening to Jay's podcast from my standpoint, you're, you're, you have a level
of curiosity
or subconscious understanding that there's a tweak or two
that can really change the game.
That already puts you in an incredible place.
And when I think about individuals that I admire
that are onto it, like yourself,
and I'd like to think me, in you and me being different,
listen, there's a significant, not significant,
there's a chunk of the audience right now
that genuinely doesn't like me that likes you
because of the, because I watch, I read it.
I like you.
I know that, and I love you, and I think,
but here's where I'm going.
My big thing is what I think we need to have
more optimism and positivity in the ecosystem.
When we're lucky enough, here's my point of view.
There are people who are gonna be attracted
to my message style more than yours and vice versa.
And we need to start thinking in a vengiers talk.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Like I'm very grateful that I was an immigrant
came in through a rugged Russian DNA structure,
grew up in Jersey, was a terrible student,
didn't understand high
society, high education, know anything, because what ended up happening is at
its melting us down, we're the same. Adding the layers allows a 46 year old
born in Jersey to a shitty situation, fuck everybody, fuck the social left, fuck everybody, they're attracted
to me.
Yet, what I'm pitching in disguise is empathy, kindness, gratitude.
So I'm getting far more DMs from people that say things like a year ago, I was addicted
to drugs, striking my woman, thought you were cool, you weren't
gonna make me money.
I don't know what you did to me, but over the last year, I've reconciled that relationship.
I've gotten help.
I'm selling stuff on eBay.
I've gotten this better job.
My relationship with my dad has changed.
I confronted my mother.
The reality is, you could never do that for that person.
On the flip side, you're doing something for somebody
who sees me in Instagram Explorer, likes the title,
clicks it, and in eight seconds says, fuck this guy.
This guy's a piece of shit.
What, how conceited, like ego, and they're out,
and they're never coming back.
When I think about that today, I think it's unbelievably important and one of the things
I'm so happy about, we've never talked about this, but it just kind of came to me here.
I'm so happy that we have this admiration for each other because I actually believe that
there's too many people that are doing good in the world right now, but because of the
veneer of how they're doing it, other good people are judging them to not do it their way
and we're destroying the upside.
Yes, yeah, 100%.
I'll give you a perfect example of how it happened on the podcast.
So a couple of podcasts ago, I had Chelsea Handler on the podcast.
Okay.
And a lot of people were like,
Jay, how can you have Chelsea on?
Yes.
We're like, Chelsea's negative and she talks about celebrity gossip
and all of this stuff.
And I met Chelsea at a wisdom 2.0 conference where we were both speaking about mindfulness
And I was there and I saw Chelsea and she spoke about mindfulness and she sat through everyone else's presentations
So she was there for real she was present and we connected afterwards and I realized that meditation has been a huge part of her life
And so I wanted to have her on because that's what her new books about and that's what we were discussing and
And the judgment was so high of like, Jay, how can you sit down?
And I was just like, wait a minute, if I consider myself a kind, good empathetic human being,
if I can't display that to absolutely everyone to understand them from a different perspective,
then I can't be a good kind of empathetic human being.
And so sometimes that almost, not almost everybody doesn't know everything about everybody.
Oh, of course.
I mean, we, the, the, the, the, the eliminate, me going through a process over the last
half decade of curtailing my judgment, I didn't start with a whole lot.
But whatever I started at to where I am now, compared to 36 months ago, has put me into a stronger position
that I've never could have imagined
and makes me excited for the next 50 years of my life.
I'm just done.
Now, if there's something that is obviously black and white
done, it doesn't mean that nobody can do no wrong.
But boy, we are in hot take judgment land.
Yeah. They don't know Chelsea. Yeah. I don't
know anything. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, they don't know. No. No. And we don't see it. And I just don't know.
I don't know. Like, I think people here, you know, like, I don't know. Yeah. And I actually wanted to do
this analysis and you've just given me the store right now. So let me real quick. Oh god. Somebody
judging somebody for doing celebrity judgment. When they're judging that celebrity in the output,
is the most hypocritical thing I've ever heard of all time.
Yeah, but this is literally what they're doing
to you in the comments section.
Absolutely, yeah.
They're mad at for her doing.
Yeah, this is the age of Coral and Impocracy there, right?
That's like, that's so huge.
Oh boy.
It's so huge, but you've just given me an idea
because when I listen to you, and I think this is,
I would love to do it,
and I don't know if your teens do it.
So one of you guys, Raga, or whoever else is in the room,
please try this out.
I'd love for someone on Gary's team to do a key word search
on how many times Gary uses the word gratitude
or positivity or humility versus even a cost word
that he gets said that he says too many of.
We have it.
Awesome.
Great.
Yeah, I want to say it because when I listen to you, when I listen to you and this is what
I feel we have to look beyond and I think what we're encouraging people to do, I hear the
words optimism, positivity, humility, the other one that I said, what did I say?
Gratitude.
Gratitude.
I say I hear gratitude more than anything.
Like every time I turn you on or like ever here is gratitude.
And so for me, that's what I want. You know, it's even better. Yeah every time I turn you on, or like ever here is gratitude. And so for me, that's why I'm-
You know what's even better?
And I love you for that.
And we'll see what literally it looks like.
What I'm really, why I love you
and other people I admire,
why I love hip-hop as a genre.
Me too.
How about the fact of what about not taking it literally?
Yes.
So like what I know is before I got mature enough to start,
because I had a bad vocab, because I was a poor student,
before I got myself to understanding,
how about the fact that I'm,
I'm still in my team, I'm looking at my team right now,
how about the fact that I'm even using the word sympathy now,
where I never even said it once,
because I'm starting to understand slightly at least
the world's interpretation of sympathy versus empathy,
because I used empathy sometimes when I meant sympathy.
You know, I'm evolving.
But like, like, but how about go watch the first thousand episodes of Wine Library TV.
I'm doing a wine show.
Yeah.
I'm never saying gratitude or empathy or kindness, but if you watch it, I'm saying kindness
and empathy and gratitude and positivity and
optimism.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's, you know, to me, that's what I'm trying to, in the reverse too, I see a lot of people
that everybody puts on a pedestal in society because they're saying the right things, but
I'm seeing something different, which is not as pretty.
Right.
And I think that we need to get into a thoughtfulness
conversation as a society of back to intent.
Absolutely.
People are so literal.
Yes.
And to me, what I literally, to the day,
both one of us dies, there's nothing you're gonna do
that's gonna upset me because I've already got enough data
binarily on what you're about.
The end.
You know, I have the advantage
of also being in the business world, like, for everybody listening, let me, let me say,
I'm about to give you a compliment that I have no clue of how you're going to take this.
I'm just enjoying watching from afar, because I'm in the trenches of your thoughtfulness
of how you're thinking about your professional career. How are you thinking about what partners
are going to work with, you with? People are pitching you.
Like, this is my world, right?
So even just watching from afar
without details of all the different parties,
some reaching out to me, like,
hey, can you put in a good word?
We wanna sign him for a tour, for a book series,
for like just the thoughtfulness that you're putting in.
You know, it just reminds me a lot of me
and this may be me complimenting myself.
But no, listen, there's not a lot of people.
I'll take you as a compliment.
Listen, I will say this, Jay, in comparison to a lot of people that look like us, guys,
gals, different people in society, I believe most people are not thoughtful.
And they're kind of into short-term KPIs, whether it's dollars or fame or followers or
just checking the box.
And I think you're deploying currently
one of the more thoughtful executions.
I admire that.
Well, thank you, man.
I think it's a big part of it is value for patients.
100%.
And for me, a word that's gonna come up.
I know.
I know.
No, it's gonna be in there.
That's what I've brought it up.
Tell me about something.
I've wanted to ask you this because I can see
you've put out.
So for me, it's, you know, I have my mind's a human algorithm
of what you're saying, too.
But I'd love to know what is it that you've been thinking
about lately that you can't put into a one minute,
four minute video because you're apprehensive
about the fact that people are just gonna run in
and, you know, because you need more context.
What have you been to?
Yes, sir.
What did I tell you that I don't want to write
the article with six more months?
This is the first time it fucking happened.
I can't believe you just asked that.
Raga, in the entire time, how many times
I've ever told you no, not yet, it's not ready.
I don't think it's ever happened.
It happened yesterday for the first time.
Oh wow.
It almost never happens.
Something I'm thinking a ton about,
which is a complete and utter pot committed thesis
of bottom up everything.
Okay.
Meaning, test and learn, MVP,
what, how I see it is a complete
and utter commitment to lack of fear.
So what we were talking about,
I'm in this mindset of like everything should be a pilot.
You know, you and I are thought,
oh god, this is so meta.
I just got done telling you how much I admire
the fact that you're thoughtful,
and now I'm about to tell you
that you and I should put out new stuff every day
that has no thought against it,
as a data loop back to the thought.
But therefore it's thoughtful.
I think so.
It's a mac, it's a, ooh, I like you.
I like you. It's a mac, it's just, ooh, I like you, I like you.
That's exactly right.
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I'm Mungesha Tickler and to be honest, I don't believe in astrology, but from the moment I was born,
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In the macro, the most thoughtful one can do.
Thaughal thing that one can do right now in our society to take advantage of the internet
is to not think about output, put it out, you know what it manifested into? This is really back to like me
living my dog food or eating my dog food. Last night I put up my single worst performing
Instagram post in the last five years, right? It's called What If Wednesdays? After the call of like saying, yes, we're going to tell the world in six months this kind of
pot pot concept.
We're telling them now, obviously we've now made the commitment.
It's again me like completely contradiction of my own self.
I'm giving it to, you know, you right here, you know, we need to be more creatively brave.
We need to take advantage of the internet,
the feedback loop.
I knew that the piece of content wasn't gonna work.
I'm creating this thing called What If Wednesdays.
And it's this idea that I love products, right?
Baseball cards, cereal, wine, sneakers.
So we're gonna every Wednesday,
we're gonna post something on Instagram
called What If Wednesdays, what if I made this product? The first one we posted was a former employee of mine,
Tyler Babin, actually, Bobby Babin, who just went for this incredible thing at Adobe, just left our
team. In an episode of DailyVee, like a year and a half ago, went really viral in my community,
I was in an elevator with him, we were joking, we put it on, it was in the vlog, where I was like,
let's make Bobby Babin beef jerky. And I was like, this whole ha ha ha thing. Anyway, we put it on, it was in the vlog where I was like, let's make Bobby Babin beef jerky. And I was like, this whole ha ha thing.
Anyway, we posted it last night.
We posted it, it did a true, I've never had a piece of content not get 10,000 likes.
Like, just like unbelievably poor.
And I'm so happy because I'm living my truth.
Which is, we now live in a world where people are so into growth hacking the algorithm.
You know, I think it's something that you're gonna go through
because I watch you and I'm like, okay,
that's working for him.
I hope he, I can't wait for him to get to a place
where he realizes that's great,
but I need to be saying what I wanna be saying,
not what I know will work.
And I call it mains and sides.
So for me, it's like, I've always got my mains and doors.
Same thing.
And I've got my sides and I'm switching them all the time. I call the same thing. I call it mains and sides. So for me, it's like, I always got my mains and floors. Same thing. And then I've got my sides and I'm switching them all the time.
I call it the same thing.
Yeah.
I call it side dishes.
I've called it Navy Seals to the Army.
Yeah.
I call it 85% core, 15% play.
I've said to everyone, do you know what?
So anyway, like I've always said to people,
if I had seven formats that worked for me,
I'd have seven videos and I'd keep re-punch line.
Punch line?
Punch line.
I'm in the beginning process of putting myself in a position.
I wanted to do Q&A. I started a show called the AskAriV show.
I wrote a book called AskAriV. And now I'm able to do keynotes where it's 30 minutes
keynote, 30 minutes Q&A, because I know I'm at my best with Q&A, because I can show my
expertise, not my showmanship, right?
So I know that I'm in the beginning stages of putting myself into a place, because something
I've discovered about myself that I had no clue, and I mean no clue, I'm dramatically
more creative than I realized, and I'm about to put myself into a place to be creative
on a daily basis, to taste in an acceptance way as a side dish instead of a theory.
Yeah, 100%.
I love that, man. That's awesome. One thing I've been trying to figure out with
you as well, and which I think is such a thing that you balance so well, you can call it
a superpower if you like, is your ability, we talked about this earlier and spoke to you.
Now your ability to not judge yourself, but to hold yourself accountable. And I think
that that is such a scary thing for people because a lot of us don't judge ourselves
and then we don't do anything
or lots of us so accountable to ourselves
that we don't give us space to do what you just said you do now.
So like, please.
Yeah, no, no, no.
So what I'm just saying is the action you just took yesterday
shows the balance of the two.
It's also, it's just, yes.
And this gets into confidence, not ego.
It gets into loving yourself and not being delusional.
Look what I just did.
It's also, I literally told him for the first time ever,
I'm not ready to tell the world about that.
And 12 fucking hours later, I told the world about it.
That is remarkably intriguing to me.
Yeah.
And I'm just trying to find, look,
this is actually fun platform to probably say this.
Another thing I know that I'm gonna start talking
a lot more about is how much I don't think I'm right.
I just know I'm right for myself.
Yes.
And I desperately want everybody to find
what's right for themselves.
There is no right.
100%.
Like, you know, especially, you know,
a lot of people try to throw hustle porn
and all this stuff at me.
And I'm devastated by it because I'm like, fuck.
Because I use the word hustle and because of my energy,
I mean, my first book I outlined work 30 hours,
this is about one big game of happiness.
Yet, people here are 7pm to 2 in the morning,
people are using my name to build up their profile,
and I'm like, fuck, I don't want this, right?
This would devastate me if there's any confusion.
And so, I'm being very thoughtful
because I have to respect it.
I have to respect that,
even though I know they're using it
to build up their profile,
and it makes me so sad that people are falling for it.
And it's like the reverse of things that they make fun of
or are a matter that are happening in society,
I still have to be thoughtful about it.
But yeah, the way I always took that from you
was, and I say this often too,
is just like, it's work ethic.
It's work ethic.
And there is no substitute for that.
When I started using hustle and it became,
it was just my version of work ethic.
Work ethic, yeah, it was your language.
But, and there's truth in it.
I also'm probably the single loudest voice
in entrepreneurship, telling people
they're not entrepreneurs.
Yeah, that's true, yeah, really.
Right, Jay, like, like, like, like, I don't know,
like back to hearing things.
That's the way you reacted.
This one hasn't necessarily been obvious to you yet,
but I hope people hear it.
I'm fucking, I'm talking about self-awareness.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Like, I think it's incredible to be a number four.
How about this?
I sometimes fantasize about being a number four.
It sucks being a number one.
Everything's my fault.
I met with two employees today.
I wanna blame their managers,
but I know it's my fault
because I hired their managers.
So, yeah, I mean, it's a-
It's lonely at the top.
I think that one thing that I'm getting excited about is creating more context and
clarity around my conviction and confidence in myself, which allows me to do what you just
brought up.
And now I want to start pushing it out in a way that allows people to do it for themselves.
Here's my thing.
And I always say this to you, some glad I was,
we first started this podcast, I was about to say it again
because I actually believe it.
But I was like, now I always say it.
And now I'm happy I'm about to say it.
You have crazy beautiful eyes.
Like, the first time you said that to me was,
I think it was the first time we met.
And it was one of the most awkward things ever,
because I was like,
as I didn't know I I expect that from Gary.
Yeah.
It's the last thing I expect from you.
So like, but you did nothing to make that happen.
True.
I always say I can't take credit for them.
I say that all the time.
I don't take credit for anything I am.
All my accolades, I'm like, my parents,
my circumstance, oh, Soviet Russia to America,
oh, the 80s, oh, Jersey, oh, this,
oh, some form of learning disability made me shitty at America, ooh, the 80s, oh Jersey, oh this, oh, some form of learning disability
that made me shitty at school, like ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, right?
You know, by the way, not being diagnosed
with the learning disability, which then either I'm right
or I'm wrong, but it doesn't matter.
I didn't have to deal with that pressure,
especially in the 80s when it was a little bit more
of like scary than it is now, like what if I was,
what if I did, maybe I didn't, probably not, because they would have caught my life.
You get into all these circumstances.
This is a big deal though.
I'm sure that what I talk about is right for me because I'm incredibly in tune with myself,
and I'm an incredibly good communicator in a style that hits a certain group, which
helps them get the insight to create affirmation,
to create lack of fear, to try something, to start the process, to get to a happier place.
That is a fucking blessing.
Yeah, 100%.
Now I want people to figure out that things are right for them based on their luck,
circumstance, what's their beautiful eyes?
Yes, maybe they're not an entrepreneur
because they don't have incredible lack of fear,
but maybe that they are incredibly compassionate,
unbelievably analytical, remarkably competitive,
incredibly gorgeous, wonderfully funny.
Like, let's lean into what we're fucking awesome about.
Everybody's spending all their time
what they suck at, themselves they're doing that, we're fucking awesome about. Everybody's spending all their time on what they suck at.
Themselves they're doing that.
And I promise you, everybody else is spending all their time
telling you what you suck at.
I'm spending all my time thinking about what I'm fucking awesome at.
And I'm spending all my time trying to figure out
what everybody else is awesome at.
Some of it's very obvious, like beautiful eyes.
Others are like, hey, you're a good fucking kid.
Keep listening to me.
You know, like that's what's going on. But that's because of awareness of story. It's like,
we're also addicted to watching other people's stories that we don't have a high awareness of
our story. And we're not telling ourselves, like, well, you just explained all your connections
from your past, your parenting to school. You've created the story arc that fits you,
that works for you, because you could tell
yourself a different story about that.
But what also happens as you evolve into it,
what people don't understand about getting to a place
of being happy with yourself,
it starts giving you foundation
to address what you're not as good at.
Yes, I'm like 20 years ago, I couldn't speak to,
first I didn't know this about myself,
but today I could speak to my lack of candor
along the way is a shortcoming of mine as a manager
and over the last five years,
Vayner's in a healthier place because I realized
in my lack of being interested in conflict,
I would hold it to myself, but then I would pull the rug
from underneath you when I would fire you
without giving you context along the way,
even though my thing was like, fuck,
don't you realize how shitty you're doing?
But no, that's not your responsibility.
You're in your own framework.
That's not something I could say out loud 10 years ago.
Yes, but you can now.
100%.
Because when you dig in and deep down,
triple down on happiness, optimism, self love,
you get to a place where you get such into a good place
that you can start putting your toe into your shortcomings.
Yeah, I so agree. I so agree.
You can't do that.
And we're doing it the other way around.
Majority, the other way around.
You're not in love with yourself,
so you're not in a place where you can talk about your vulnerabilities.
So what you do is you start calling out the vulnerabilities
that you have in others.
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
And then it grows because the more you're meditating
on other people's vulnerabilities,
the more they even become yours.
I've seen that sometimes when you keep talking about and thinking about and
fix setting on someone else's, you start mirroring.
Do you know what I just realized?
I actually spend no time on judging people's shortcomings,
only focusing on their strengths.
I don't even have the capacity or the room left.
Yeah.
Raghav doesn't get feedback from me. We're doing our thing and the feedback he got yesterday is, or the room left. Yeah.
Ryle Off doesn't get feedback from me.
We're doing our thing and the feedback he got yesterday
is you're ready for this brother.
I see it.
You can do this, right?
This is fucking meta shit.
This is real. This is happening yesterday.
I haven't fucking talked to him in six months.
He's writing for me.
We're doing this thing.
And what he gets from me yesterday is you're ready for this.
You can do better.
Here's why I see it.
And we can do better.
And I start with it's on me,
and then it's fucking amazing.
The fuck, you're right it's optimism,
like why, everything else is pessimistic.
Absolutely, and one of the best things I love about that
is when you're all in on your strengths,
you appreciate other strengths,
but it also limits your envy and jealousy.
Right, like when you genuinely start, you know?
Keep going, don't jump in in a minute.
What I was about to say is, it's the same, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Where are my fucking children's health? I go into the charts occasionally, you know, once every two weeks because I like to stay on top of shit.
And I look and I see you there,
I'm like, mother fucker, good, those fucking eyes.
You know, but no, I mean it, it makes me happy.
It makes me happy.
Because here's my big thing,
when it comes to things of that nature.
If you don't have that gear,
then you're not respecting the game that's giving you life.
If I can't be happy for people who are winning
in entrepreneurship and content,
then I'm shitting on the game that's made me happy.
Totally, 100%. I completely agree.
I'm so in love with what I've been afforded to be able to do
that I want everybody else who can do that to,
to be better at me if they can.
Yeah. And the beauty, I think think for all of us who know that,
for me, the same thing back is this is an exchange,
it's love, it's support, right?
Like we all know that.
Like I've seen this for years,
that collaboration has beat compass in every time.
And I know we know that.
Jay, there's also the abundance.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's so much, there's so much for everyone.
Yeah, hundreds of percent.
Hundreds of percent.
And I think we live, we live in this world where it's like
Oh, if I do this then no one's gonna follow Gary and Jay, which is not true. No one goes I follow Gary
I'm not gonna follow Jay I will say Jay
I was I was letting you talk as I'm trying to be more thoughtful about that
I literally I literally was thinking in my mind as we were segueing from last part,
some of my favorite comments ever have been
looking at my friends and seeing people write things
that say for Baidum, hey, let's use you.
Hey Jay, and I'm trying, let me give you a real example.
Maybe Cy Wakeman, somebody awesome.
I just remember somebody leaving a comment
when I was going to look at my friend
to give him some love, double tap or leave something. Literally the comment that was above me, I was writing a comment when I was going to look at my friend to give him some love, double tap, or leave something.
Literally the comment that was above me,
like I was writing a comment, was like,
hey, somebody, I don't wanna make it up.
Yeah, you used to listen to Gary Vee, but fuck that.
You're so much better and the sheer happiness.
And it comes in a couple of ways.
It's actually back to double side coins.
A, abundance, love, positivity, collaboration. B, competition.
You know, I was pumped for her. And I was like, let me go back to the lab and make awesome
shit. You know, like, yeah, absolutely. If you can't respect the game that you're in
more than what it brings to you, then I don't think you're an all-time player.
And I think you see that all the time. And I know you've been getting in a football
racing. Real football. Yes, proper Yes, I call it like soccer. Yeah, it's like for me
And I know you've been getting and I look at that in Ronaldo and Messi who are compared
Yeah, I'm like I'm like I just wouldn't be as great as they are if they didn't have each other
I'm gonna agree more right and that's what I believe in that the fact that they can both exist in the same world
And by the way, they can go on. Somebody wins a game. Yes, like Liverpool won
Yes, the other day.
Like that happens.
And I think we need to be careful
because we're being very foofy, foofy here.
Are we?
In a good way.
Like we're talking about very positive light.
Like I think people get confused.
If you back to don't take the words,
listen to what we're saying here.
We are saying that there's ramifications.
We are saying that there's winning and losing.
We are. There is no reaction. Yeah.
I know we are.
Absolutely.
But we're saying that without each other,
they wouldn't feel that same fuel to keep going.
Correct.
And then you choose whether you want that fuel to keep going
or you're gonna wallow in that fuel and then just
or my favorite part is do you even want to drive that car
in that fuel anymore?
True.
When I tell you the great question in my life right now part is do you even want to drive that car in that fuel anymore? True.
When I tell you the great question in my life right now is,
will I wake up one day and go completely the other way?
I think it's actually possible.
And I smile with that because I don't know.
And I can feel that I'm not forcing it.
Like, I would actually argue the other way.
Like, I don't want to disappear.
But if you told me that at 62 I woke up, sold off everything and took a five year run
of sitting in a cave in Peru and then came back at 67, I would say to you like, yeah,
I can never see myself doing drugs.
I can never see myself stealing money out of somebody's wallet.
It's just impossible.
It's not in my framework.
I can see myself sitting a cave and peru for five minutes.
I love hearing that.
I love hearing that.
Because I don't think anybody would believe that about me
except people that get really, really, really inside
or look like you, which is disproportionately
having intuitive superpowers.
No, I really believe that about it.
When I was 18, if anyone ever told me
that I'd one day live as a monk,
I would have lost them and spat in their face. Yeah, so when I was 18, if anyone ever told me that I'd one day live as a monk, I would have lost them in spouting their face.
Yeah, so when you said that, I literally was,
I joined social media in 2015.
Yeah, I get it.
And it's like, I never joined because I was a monk.
You know, this is a funny thing,
back to I apologize, but this will bring you out
to a lot of people.
This is a game of best, not first.
People always trying to be first on the next platform.
People ask me, what's the next platform?
Because they want to be first.
They, like I was slow to Instagram
in comparison to Twitter, this is a game of best.
And for me, it's longevity.
100% longevity for me as well.
Yeah, it's such a long game.
So long.
And it's I think so many people get this bad feedback too.
And I've had a lot of friends here,
this, hey, you realize you're only going
to three-year lifelike. That's stupid. I've had so many people get this bad feedback too. And I've had a lot of friends here this, Hey, you realize you're only going to three-year lifelike.
That's stupid.
Right? I've had so many people here that
from people that have never lived it.
Yes.
From people that have never lived it.
Hey, you realize it's all happening this year.
By the way, real quick, because the second time it's come up,
if we get anything across in this episode,
if you're like, please just pay attention to who's giving the advice.
People say things to me all the time, like,
you've never built a business. Gary, you should do this with VaynerMene. I'm like,
you're an inventor of fruit. Like, I'm not telling you what fruits to marry. Like, like, we have to
have a better conversation. If you have two parents that were entrepreneurs and you want to aspire to be one of the great professors of academia,
they're you got to be thoughtful that they're giving you advice as entrepreneurs vice versa.
Many of us listening right now had parents that grew up in the industrial revolution and
get a safe job and the rise of unions and like
Dada Dada Dada. And if you're dying to be an entrepreneur because you always still have lemonade and pencils
and this is the great year of entrepreneurship
and you wanna do it, your parents advice
has to be contextualized.
Yes.
They believe in safety.
Yes.
And that's what I mean by that.
Looking at things from a care angle
and a competent angle, right?
Like you're gonna have people that they're out like my mom.
Like my mom does not care what I'm doing.
She cares about, has her son slept, has her son eaten
and has her son taking care of his health.
Like that's what my mom cares about.
Mine too.
She doesn't care about any award.
She doesn't care about the podcast.
She doesn't care.
And that's beautiful.
And I love that, but I have to take it for what it is
that my mom cares about my mentor and physical well-being.
Yes.
Right, like that's what she's an expert in.
Yes.
That's her expertise.
That's her zone. That's what I should listen to her for. Couldn't read more. Yeah. I love that, like that's what she's an expert in. Yes. That's her expertise. That's her zone.
That's what I should listen to her for.
Couldn't agree more.
Yeah.
I love that.
And that's what I'm taking.
Contextualize the advice.
And otherwise we argue with them.
Sometimes we're like, Mom, you don't understand.
I'm working so hard.
But it's like, no, like take that.
Like she can't.
You know what you're talking about right now that I've,
that has, I just realized been subconsciously on my mind.
Another thing I'm thinking a lot about, which is like,
and you start, it's amazing.
You started this podcast with it.
For a lot of, nobody is for everybody, right?
Nobody out there sharing is right for everybody.
No one.
However, most people that are resonating
with a large enough audience probably have something
to add to you.
And that's something I've been thinking about. Like, how do, what's the 13% of me that brings value to somebody on the other side,
who generally doesn't like me or like it right now?
What's the 5% value that somebody can bring me that I don't see value in right now?
It's not binary and that might become a fun place to dig deeper into.
Yeah, absolutely.
No, I think it is a fun thing.
And I say, go ahead.
Go on, go on.
This is us being super polite.
The thing that I've seen also is that we're constantly in that space.
We take pressure from the room we're in.
So if you're in a room full of investors, you walk out and go, crap, I need to invest, right? And if you're in a room full of Dalai Lama, you'll be like crap, I need
to meditate, right? Like that's my point. Like, and so you know what's funny about that?
Tell me about this, Jay, because where I go in those scenarios is actually the other way.
Yeah, but that's red. That's what I'm pointing out. Go on. No, no, nothing. Yeah. Because
you were talking, I was like, it's so weird. When I'm in a room of investors, I'm selling
Dalai Lama. Yeah. When I'm in a room of investors, I'm selling Dalai Lama.
When I'm in a room.
Correct.
I'm Dalai Lama.
I'm selling investing.
So I get that.
I get that.
And that's actually the MIT did an incredible study on this
where they looked at connected thinkers.
People who were able to take advice from people
who didn't know each other.
So we're not living in echo chamber.
So basically, if you wanted to launch something,
let's say you wanted to launch a new app,
you would take advice from Mark Zuckerberg and the Dalai Lama because that'll be
fascinating for humanity. I'll tell you, I'll tell you what's really interesting because you're
really getting me thinking here. One of the things that is extremely at the tip of my tongue
is my ability to also take advice from my friend Rob Muse, who lives in Atlanta,
or a nine year old kid who hasn't lived life yet.
Like I really, really associate actually more
to the trenches than the experts.
Yes.
You know, Dali and Sucks, cool.
But for me, it's like the user.
The user, brother, it's all I got got absolutely. I actually struggle with taking advice from
My shortcoming is not taking advice from the Dalai Lama and Zaks and taking Susan Karinsky's heart take
Different value right that's right. That's right. That's right. I said the same thing with people are like how do you not run out of things to say in your
Content I'm like because I'm talking to people right like that's my value. I said the same thing when people are like, how do you not run out of things to say in your content? I'm like, because I'm talking to people.
Right? Like that's my number on set.
Because I'm talking to people.
I'm listening. Yes.
I'm listening.
I'm listening to just people.
I just read comments, man.
Yes, same.
I read comments.
The last 10 times I've gone to your Instagram,
I've read comments and didn't watch what you put out.
Yeah.
That's real.
You want to talk about weird shit
that I'm sure most people aren't thinking about?
That's an insight. There's a hot take. There's something you might want to build on.
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Yeah absolutely no 100% and that's for for me it's like I'm having the conversation
with a random person who's had a breakup I'm having the conversation with a random person
who's trying to start a business those random conversations are everything
are everything like that's the first thing that I bring into it.
What did we get to? Let's do a little bit of a weird speed round.
Okay that's what we're in we're at the end now anyway so this is the final five we do at the end of every round
So this is all this is all speed around you already predicted. Well, what about what about final seven? What two things on the first part of the page
Or second? I don't feel like we're gonna get to do this many more times. So I want to put you say that
I guess we will I'm just talking about like cool. I'm like, what's the year we'll get to year? We're having, you know, like, yeah, yeah, no, no, no.
Absolutely.
Do you know what the funny thing is?
We went on to all of this stuff organically
without me even touching on it.
Love.
Something I really love about you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Is I feel like, in the last year,
I've realized why I liked Star Wars.
Star Wars was the only sci-fi thing I followed as a kid.
And actually, WWF wrestling,
right? These wrestling figures, these Star Wars things that are in my room, and I finally hit it.
They are very classic stories of good vs bad. I mean, Star Wars is just like super high levelad, 100%. But there's something that wrestling does,
and Star Wars does,
I can't believe I'm breaking this down right now.
I just had my thought on this.
Wrestling has a very interesting thing,
where somebody good can become a bad guy,
and where somebody bad can become a good guy, right?
It's like, I don't know how many people follow wrestling.
I used to love wrestling.
But like, Monster Man Randy Savage
was my favorite wrestler.
He was a bad guy when he came in.
Then he became a good guy, right?
Yeah.
The dark side versus the force.
If you've watched that series, you know it's a very fine line.
You can feel like any moment, right?
You've got to establish, but like you kind of understand
the course subject matter, Darth Vader, it's right there, right?
I believe that you and I sit in the world right now.
There's a lot of personalities.
There's a lot of people talking about good and I don't believe the majority of them are
actually good.
And I think you are.
And that's why I've always leaned in every time you've reached out, right?
Yeah, thank you, man.
Do you see what I'm saying and how do you think about it? Because it's something I'm struggling with,
because it's not true.
I'm concerned that if some of the people are society
and really are genre, podcasters, Instagrammers, YouTubers,
personal brands, authors, speakers,
if we aren't thoughtful about some people
that people are considering good,
but actually they're not good,
they're selling things for the sake
of their own personal financial growth,
that it's a dangerous precedent.
And I feel a sense of responsibility
as somebody who sees it at the same token,
I don't have the bandwidth to do the investigative reporting,
to cross the tees and eyes,
so that I'm completely definitive,
so that I can say, fuck you, Karen Thompson.
Yeah.
In a world where everyone's like,
where the fuck did that come from?
Isn't Karen Thompson awesome?
And being right at the end.
Yeah.
Now that I just spewed all that,
what are your random thoughts about this?
You know why that's so crazy?
Because I just had breakfast with someone
that we both know,
who I won't say on the podcast,
and tell you afterwards,
who is telling me about just this.
It's so crazy, like literally,
that wasn't even at the front of my mind.
What was she, or he's saying?
They were saying that this exists,
you should be wary of it, what's your take on it?
Like literally.
That's what it's all about.
Yeah, literally.
They were like, this exists and I was like,
wow, and they've done the investigating work. Like they've gone deep into the research on it. They literally, they're like this exists and I was like wow, I did and they've done the investigating work. They've gone deep into the research of it. I was
also playing devil's advocate. I was like, okay, look, how bad is it? What is it? We're
optimistic and I want to give people the benefit of the doubt. My take on it is it's kind
of like when companies started doing CSR or environmental work because they knew they
had to. I can't believe you believe that's where you took it.
I'm unbelievably cynical to businesses with purpose.
Yes.
Because when I sit down with the founder, I leave with
you're a piece of shit because you're using a cause
to create commerce.
Totally.
And I see that all the time.
It's in our world, brother.
Yeah.
And I think that what I look at, and I think this is what you've done, and this is
what I really saw as powerful.
And luckily the people I spoke to in my life always emphasized this was community first,
right?
It was always about community.
It was always about family.
It was always about people.
And I think that we need to be careful, and I do agree with you, the investigation is important
because I don't want to go out and start accusing and making allegations because that's not cool.
Because I wouldn't want to be that me.
I'm not even good at publicly shitting on people
who are clearly 100% wrong.
It's not my natural state.
So to do it without the investigation.
Totally.
But it is, I'm glad, yeah, interesting.
Anyway, I just was curious about that
because I do think you're in the mind,
ironically in the minority of pure good.
And I think, and that doesn't mean you don't build a business.
And it doesn't mean you don't get paid to speak
or write a book or do a 10 city tour.
Of course.
There's just differences.
Yeah, and I think that comes back to intention.
I think that's right.
It starts there and it ends there.
That's what I'm talking about.
Just to uncover a little bit more,
just because it's being insightful.
Like, I've actually done a couple of things in my career
where I've gone on people's platforms
that I don't believe are good to subtly,
like, weirdly try to suck them out.
Yes.
Oh, I love it.
I'm so glad you brought this up.
So every time I get invited by a multi-level marketing
conference or an internet marketing conference
or whatever you call online marketing conference,
I go and I talk about this stuff.
Me too.
So I'll go on stage and they're expecting me to talk about social media strategy and how
I get views and all of this stuff.
And I'll subtext my two-stanglines.
I did not build any of this to build a brand or a business because I didn't.
I just made contact because I wanted to help.
And this is where you and I are so fun as compliments like a tag team.
I go and start with do not buy anybody's products in the back room at this conference.
Yeah.
And everyone's like, what the fuck just happened?
Yeah.
And I'm like, what happened is, I don't fucking believe
in the bullshit.
That's like, I come and fucking try to like destroy.
Yeah, absolutely.
At conferences.
Yeah, I don't destroy.
On, on like interviews, I'm trying to be subtle
because the person's interviewing you.
Yeah, so I'm like, how do I stay in this?
Why do I not get kicked out of this room
while winking to the audience of like,
get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, right.
Though I've stopped doing that a little bit
because right now people are not thoughtful enough.
So you get direct attribution
and I think that is a vulnerability.
So I say no to a lot of association.
And I think that's the big message that's coming out here.
Please dig deeper.
If you're listening or watching,
whatever you're listening or watching,
please dig a step deeper.
Don't be thoughtful.
Yeah, be thoughtful.
Be thoughtful, push beyond the obvious.
Just for example, once I make a decision,
like if I saw you on somebody's podcast
that I'm like, oh, that's a dirty person,
I would already assume that you're there
to do that same thing, which is a compliment.
And I appreciate that.
Yeah, we need to, we need to, yeah.
Oh, Jim, see, hold on, before we do the fun,
oh, yeah, awesome. This is great. Jim, did need to, we need to, yeah. Oh, Jim, see you're, hold on, before we do the fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun.
Oh, yeah, awesome.
Oh, this is great.
Jim, did you do an updated version?
Perfect timing.
Is this an updated version or you couldn't find it?
All right, while there's dead air,
I just wanna say to everybody, I love you.
I hope everything is good.
One random thing, like it's been really working
in my community.
Just call somebody you haven't talked to in two years.
Just literally go to your phone right now, context.
Hit the letter C, the letter F.
You're gonna see somebody from high school,
somebody that used to date and you're over it now.
Like just literally call somebody, call, not text,
call somebody and just say what's up.
I hope everything's good and like that's it.
Like even if it you hang up after that,
like get, you know, like exercise,
like eating, getting into practice
of optimism and positivity and good
matters. So randomly just call somebody and hit me up on social and let me know how it went.
Like, but this is crazy. I do this once in a while in my world. Like people have called their
father a strange father for 15 years. They're best friend that they just both got busy and now they're
like back and their families are friends. Like this, it's crazy. Anyway, Jim. Yeah. So when we look through 200 episodes, the words that were
most common, most common verbs were no think go, want, make,
all action, action. And then when you looked at word
pairings, what words you combine together the most love and
work mean and well. Give and fuck.
I listen, I curse. New and world and play and book.
Interesting.
Now, what about these ones? These top emotions?
Top emotions, right? Yeah, so if you go from top to bottom, it's love, laugh, funny, appreciate, respect, passion, scare, inspire, and curious.
No,
we bring that. Thank you. Absolutely.
No, to your point, you intuitively are able to interpret this.
There's not a soul. One more time in emotions. Yeah,
the emotions one more time. Yeah, one more time. Yeah, emotions,
love, laugh, funny, appreciate, respect, passion, scare, inspire, and curious.
If you pull a million people that have ever heard of me and dug in a little bit, nobody's
even going to be room.
This is where I'm complicated.
This is why I'm attracted to people that are able to decipher it.
This is how Jim himself got his job here trying to get a job separately in VaynerX,
but I wanted him on my team.
This is why I leaned into you.
If one is emotionally intelligent enough with natural talent to have figured me out,
I know they're an incredible partner because I'm extremely difficult.
Because for all the people listening right now that kind of know me or have heard of me
or actually genuinely don't even love me that much.
Laugh, love.
Like that is not, that is not what my,
that is not what happens with me when I go on stage
or when I'm recorded.
What comes out is macho man Randy Savage promo videos.
What comes out is Chris Rock and Eddie Murphy.
What comes out is other things that influenced me
in the way that I communicate when a camera is on me.
And you're still saying the same thing.
It's just the way it's being said.
Totally. And that's, yeah.
It's funny. I don't know if you guys saw it.
I've seen this at all lately out of nowhere.
I've been for the first time ever,
thoughtfully trying to tone down my energy
and my speed in communicating,
not because of anything else, out of pure curiosity.
Back to what we were talking about testing stuff,
it's been really fascinating.
Just a 10% off the pedal is just such a different thing
in watching the audience consume it.
Now I'm gonna still go 150,
because it's just where my natural thing is.
And again, when I go 140,
I'm missing that person who needs 147,
who almost nobody else right now can get to.
And unfortunately, the only people that can get
to the person that's at 147 are the bad guys and gals.
Got it?
Absolutely.
Got it?
That's, I have come to realize my place in this
Avengers Rehole is I'm going to have to eat judgment from people I admire.
To get through to people that are only getting influenced by bad, because the
other goods don't have that one gear that I have, that cadence, that style, and I'm willing to deal
with the ramifications to achieve the actual good goal.
I love that man.
It's a great note, I love that.
I'm not gonna add anything to that, I love that.
That's awesome, this has been so much fun.
We're gonna do the final five, because I wanna do it.
The first question is,
I know which sucks, because that last set,
that there would have been such a great way to plug it.
Everybody here's like, fuck, that would have been a good hug.
Put the final five, it makes it even better.
Go for it, yeah, you make it better, yeah.
Okay, so, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine.
Well, this is the, which, I love that you brought up the Avengers,
because that's how I look at life,
and I look at being a part of the Avengers,
so which Avenger are you and why?
I've never watched Avengers.
No, I didn't know that.
You know that was coming? I don't know.
No.
Wow.
I know who I think you are.
The reason I, this is getting super triple meta,
this is a very thoughtful podcast.
I think you're good.
Yeah, I love this.
I said it earlier, I may not watch Jay content,
but I read Jay comments.
Yeah.
Interesting.
I don't, I've not watched one Avengers film,
but I know what people think about the Avengers and I understand the framework.
Okay. I love the Avengers. So I know who you do. I would too. Yeah.
Robert Downey, Jr. I am really. Yeah. Sounds cool. Because I know a lot of he gets a lot of
take. I'd say it's probably ironically. What do you guys do? You guys work with him.
Where are you really? Yeah. Okay. Anyone else?
And to see the leader and now spider Spider-Man, he can be an expert
and he can rub people up the wrong way sometimes.
That's why I said, like he has that ability,
like he will cost off Captain America
and they'll go off and form their own tribe
and then hate him for a bit,
but then they come back in the end.
You know, it's that kind of,
you know, the ability to push people up,
push people the wrong way sometimes.
So Spider-Man's a new leader now?
Spider-Man, is he?
Yeah, that's what they're setting up.
Really? Oh, I did. But he's setting it, They're setting it up. Yeah. With this new film.
Anyway, none the less. Yeah, anyway. So cool. That's I'm glad we got there. And I'm glad that you
agreed. I want to hear what you think next. What do you think, Rod? I think I'll know what you think.
Think about it. Think about it. You tell me next time I see you. Yeah, think about it. Okay, second
question. You have a video tied to the dumb stuff you buy owns you, which I love.
Yes, what is the dumbest thing you've ever bought?
Great question.
Because we've all bought dumb stuff.
My current apartment in New York City.
Interesting.
It made me super not liquid, made me miss out
on investing in Uber.
It's the dumbest in literal, but it established my family in a neighborhood
that I wanted to raise it. So it's obviously way better. But in a second level, you know,
probably the dumbest thing that I've ever bought are the things that I didn't buy.
Right. Right. Like, like, a vacation that I should have taken, which would have been
a fruitful use of time. That's definitely it. As I'm trying to be a little bit better
in communicating regrets,
because I can't focus on them,
but I wanna talk about them
because I don't wanna make it seem like I'm not human.
Yeah.
I could have done a lot more balance of leisure,
14 to 30, because I worked every minute.
Yeah, yeah.
I wish, and when you start with I wish that is regret,
I wish I had five to ten more memories in my 20s
with my high school and college friends
of going on those trips that everybody does.
Like there's a very interesting clip of me
where you can really see it manifest
where I talk about like I'm not lucky.
Like a bunch of kids when I first started blowing up
from high school and college would hit me up
and like, yeah, are you so lucky?
And I was like, mother fuck, I'm not lucky. When you went to the would hit me up and I carry you so lucky. I was like, motherfucker, I'm not lucky.
When you went to the Jersey Shore every weekend,
I worked my ass off.
It's not necessarily what I wanna be talking about right now
and I'm trying to get the temperature of society,
but it's a very big truth.
Yeah.
So I would say that.
Yeah.
The dumbest thing I ever bought were the things
that I ended up not buying.
Love it.
Awesome.
Question number three,
what's the worst advice
you're hearing out there right now
that you want people to be more thoughtful about?
All of it because it lacks self awareness.
It lacks pushing people into self awareness
and it lacks context.
Anything, all advice right now is a problem,
including all of mine.
It's why I'm trying to make them make it about them.
There's a lot of bad advice, brother.
Like, if somebody watches me and gets fired up
to start a business and they're a shlamil and can't do a
business, they're going down a path of depression.
If they're a competitive, ambitious person,
but they also went to high society education,
and right now the push there is balance,
and like hard work is bad,
and we become too much of Europe,
or Europe, I believe this, by the way.
Like, that's bad advice for somebody,
because they're gonna be depressed,
because they lean into current social,
you know, political correctness,
and what they actually are is a dog,
and they just want to grind.
Yeah.
But right now, grinding is bad.
Yeah, absolutely., grinding is bad.
Yeah, absolutely.
All advice is bad if you haven't deployed enough love for yourself
and self-awareness to understand what to pick off.
Great advice.
Question number four, what's the one thing you're most proud of?
Did I give more than I take?
Love it.
And question number five, which I think is going to give you an opportunity to end up
how we just ended off the point before the final five is
You talk about so much about the value of human life. Yes, and how rare it is and how amazing it is
Which I don't have you know this but it's like such a deep Vedic concept, which is like thousandth
So Vedic is like the philosophy that I studied it
It's like one of the oldest philosophies of mankind and one of the biggest principles in there is about the value of human life
Like the like the way I think about 400 trillion.
Correct, correct.
It's helped so many people, by the way.
Out of all the pieces of content I've ever put out,
something in it has penetrated.
How does one get, like when you hit,
when I hit you say it, when I look at the way I was taught it,
when I look at the monks that I know live it,
when I know people that really live there,
what was it that helped you really access it?
Right, and live that, there we go. Okay. Nice.
It's my all I'm ever doing is trying to take empathy,
gratitude, kindness, positivity, optimism, and create
repackaging for it in modern society to help somebody see it.
Cause life is one big game of perspective.
And if you've been raised by parents in an environment and have natural DNA that makes you look
at something upside down, I've got to flip it.
And when I say I got to, I have this enormous love
and need for admiration that I've come to realize.
Admiration will not come in the form
of me making the most money.
Admiration will not come in any other form
than if I give so much more to you than
I expect from you in return. I was gifted an ability of the gift to gap. I am creative. I
understand attention graphs. I have work ethic. I have aspirations. All of that has created
one big game where I feel responsibility to be able to get this message out in a way that won't get to people
that can never become monks or that won't become disproportionately high educated philosophical.
I'm in the trenches with my style, but it's the same fucking product.
And so 400 trillion to one was one way for me to get people to be like, do you fucking
understand?
There's nothing any of us in this room will accomplish that is even in the fucking galaxy
of that we have in a chance to do something. I just don't understand. What are you going to
complain about today? That he's even remotely close to never having the ability to have a life.
Look what? What are you gonna complain about?
What's so shitty in your life?
Like, you've got the app, the app.
Even if you're the worst ranked person,
7.7 billion in the world.
You're born to slavery and genocide
in a fifth world country where you're raped every day,
starved, slaved, lose your parents, no love.
The game of life actually still creates the rare potential for you to
break out of that and go on to do something and then bring positivity to
the world better than not being born at all.
I believe that.
And so that love it, man, Mike drop. Thank you, Gary.
Thank you. The best man. Thank you. This is amazing. Guys, we all
knew that this was going to be an incredible podcast, but that just blew the
roof off. It was one of those, it was such a revelation. And that's what I
loved about this podcast that it wasn't a Q&A. It wasn't a thought process of
revelation. I felt like you were revealing things as you reflected and
introspective and more was brewing up.
Can I say one last thing?
I think it might be funny.
Hearing you say that, what comes to mind is this is historically what I've done
completely predicated on the respect I have for the other individual.
When I've always been fascinated by a lot of people rolling on in my career, it's like
you steamroll everybody.
I'm like, because I don't respect them.
Or because I know what they're gonna say,
and I just have that ability to interrupt,
which I'm trying to work on.
You know, I revealed and wanted to go deeper
because I respect you and more importantly, your audience.
So I enjoyed it.
And my admins are looking at me like crazy,
cause everyone's freaking out.
So let's get out of here and see ya.
Thank you, man.
Thank you, bro. That was amazing See ya, thank you, man. Thank you, bro.
That's amazing.
Yeah, thank you, man.
Thank you so much for listening through to the end of that episode.
I hope you're going to share this all across social media.
Let people know that you're subscribed to on purpose.
Let me know.
Post it. Tell me what a difference
it's making in your life. I would love to see your thoughts. I can't wait for this
incredibly conscious community we're creating of purposeful people. You're now
a part of the tribe, a part of the squad. Thank you for being here. I can't wait
to share the next episode with you. I'm Munga Shatekler and it turns out astrology is way more widespread than any of us want
to believe.
You can find it in major league baseball, international K-Pop Groups, even the White House.
But just when I thought I had a handle on this subject, something completely unbelievable
happened to me and my whole view on astrology changed.
Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, give me a few minutes because I think your ideas
are about to change too.
Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, it's Debbie Brown, host of the Deeply Well Podcast, where we hold conscious conversations
with leaders and radical healers and wellness around topics that are meant to expand and support you
on your wellbeing journey. Deeply well is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal,
to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be.
Deeply well with Debbie Brown is available now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Namaste.
The world of chocolate has been turned upside down. A very unusual situation. You saw the stacks of cash in our podcast. Namaste. The world of chocolate has been turned upside down.
A very unusual situation.
You saw the stacks of cash in our office.
Chocolate comes from the cacao tree, and recently,
Varietas cacao, thought to have been lost centuries ago,
were rediscovered in the Amazon.
There is no chocolate on Earth like this.
Now some chocolate makers are racing deep into the jungle
to find the next game-changing chocolate,
and I'm coming along.
OK, that was a very large crack it up.
Listen to Obsessions, Wild Chocolate, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.