On Purpose with Jay Shetty - If You've Been Feeling Drained... Listen To This (9 Steps To Recover And Avoid Burnout)

Episode Date: June 21, 2024

Do you often feel exhausted or burnt out? Are you struggling to manage your stress levels? Today, Jay talks about exhaustion, burnout, and stress, highlighting their prevalence with statistics showing that a significant portion of young adults and women report feeling drained. He introduces a practical approach to tackle these challenges, encapsulated in the "triple A" formula—Accept, Action, Attention—which encourages acknowledging negative feelings, taking actionable steps to address them, and paying mindful attention to one's mental state Jay also introduces the concept of "reset periods," whether it's an hour, half-day, or full day, to allow for complete mental and physical rejuvenation. The importance of self-compassion is also emphasized, encouraging individuals to replace inner criticism with supportive self-talk, which can significantly improve overall well-being. In this episode, you'll learn: How to break negative thought cycle How to manage your energy levels How to use stress strategically How to practice self-compassion How to get out of stressful situation Don’t let exhaustion control your life—take action today and start feeling refreshed and empowered. Listen now and share with someone who needs a boost! With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:06 Do You Feel Drained? 03:10 #1: Learn to Break Repetitive Thoughts 06:27 #2: You Don’t Need to Be on Full Energy All the Time 10:20 #3: Learn to Say NO 14:05 #4: Be Strategic with Your Time 17:02 #5: Have a Reset Day 18:35 #6: Be Kind to Yourself 19:59 #7: Allow Yourself to Vent and Let It Out 21:24 #8: Get a Restful Sleep  23:00 #9: Wash Your Mind the Night BeforeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. A new season of Bridgerton is here. And with it, a new season of Bridgerton the Official Podcast. I'm your host, Gaby Collins. And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton. Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix. Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm drained as a signal from your body to the mind, from your mind to your heart. Your body and mind are trying to tell you something. Pain makes you pay attention, but that attention needs to be followed by action. The number one health and wellness podcast. pay attention, but that attention needs to be followed by action. The number one health and wellness podcast.

Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty. Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world, thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. I want to take a moment to thank you all. Whether you joined the On Purpose community yesterday or whether you joined us five years ago when we first started,

I want to say a big thank you to you for your support. I love the fact that you're making Instagram reels. I love seeing the TikToks you all share. I love seeing your stories. Thank you for making this such a highly recommended podcast to your friends, your family. It means the world to me. And I can't wait to keep bringing you incredible conversations and content. Now, this episode feels like a really, really important one,

because I can't believe that we're already this far into the year. And it's natural that a lot of people are starting to feel drained. Maybe you have some time off. Maybe you haven't had the chance to have some time off. But maybe you've been working really hard this year. Maybe you've been pursuing your goals, health and wellness related and also professional. How many of you honestly are feeling drained? How many of you are feeling

exhausted? And how many of you are feeling like you need some practical tips and practical methods to actually find a way through this busy time? Nearly half, 48% of 18 to 29 year olds said they feel drained compared with 40% of their peers aged 30 and up, while women 46% reported higher levels of burnout than men at 37%. So this is a problem that a lot of us are dealing with. We're not alone and we're highly challenged by it. We're not alone and we're highly challenged by it. And look, the podcast is full of great advice from experts on how much water intake you need. Sleep and exercise. You can find that here.

But what I wanted to share with you in this episode is what do you do when you can't do all of those things right now? When you feel like you've tried, but you're failing and now you're starting to do nothing. What are these small incremental shifts? What are the little steps that you can take right now to transform how you feel to stop feeling drained? So if you've been feeling drained lately, this episode is for you. If you've been feeling exhausted, this episode is for you. And if you're on the verge of burnout, please, please, please listen to this.

And if you have someone in your life that you know is headed down that road, send them this so they can actually keep it together, keep the energy enough to get to their next break and their next pit stop. I want to start off with a really important principle. I've said this statistic before. Studies show we have 60 to 80,000 thoughts per day and 80% of those are negative and 80% of those are repetitive.

Let me give you an example. How many of you have ever started your day with the words, I'm feeling really drained? ever started your day with the words I'm feeling really drained. Now think about how many times you've said that in one day. In every conversation, every meeting, talking to a friend or a family member. Now think about how many times you've said that over a week. Now how many times have you said that over a month and how many times have you said that over a month? And how many times have you said that over a year? We keep repeating the same thought, the same feeling over and over and over again. And it's so important that we learn to break repetitive thoughts,

that we learn to disrupt that pattern, that we learn to intervene. We have to have our own intervention in our mind. I'm going to give you the triple A formula. Write this down. Triple A. Accept and action. Usually we don't accept how we feel.

We're told to be toxically positive. Instead of saying I'm tired, we say I'm energized, I'm feeling good. Affirmations like that don't work. That isn't even an affirmation. That's just telling yourself a lie and hoping you'll believe it. Now, biology will reject that. You won't believe it. You won't just believe it because you keep saying it to yourself if you're not feeling any different. So, accept and action. The acceptance has to be followed up by an action.

So, for example, I'm really drained and so I'll go to sleep early tonight. I'm really drained and so I will cancel my plans this weekend. The and so changes that thought. See, that thought is a signal. I'm drained as a signal from your body to the mind. From your mind to your heart. Your body and mind are trying to tell you

something. Pain makes you pay attention. But that attention needs to be followed by action. And that's often what we don't find. We see the signal. It's almost like you're driving your car, you see one of the lights pop up and you keep ignoring or avoiding it. You go, I don't really know what it is.

I'll figure it out. I'll take a look. Right. How many times have you ever done that mentally? How many times have you ever done that physically? You're feeling a real niggling pain in your knee or in your back. You keep ignoring it. Stop ignoring your repetitive thoughts. Stop ignoring your repetitive feelings.

Stop ignoring your repetitive emotions. They're repeating for a reason. They want you to pay attention. Pain makes you focus and pay attention so that then you can take action. Break your repetitive thought cycle. Break that spiral so that you can actually shift into taking action. Principle number two. One of the things I find that has really helped me and I practice this often is recognizing that I don't always have to be at a hundred percent energy. How many times have you ever gone to an event?

You've gone to work, you're with your family and you constantly think that you have to be at a hundred percent all the time. I'll give an example. I was at a dinner recently and I had to give a speech the next day. I just got off a flight. So I just got off a flight. I'd been traveling for around 20 hours. I had gone to the opening night dinner

and the next morning I had to wake up and give a keynote presentation. I wouldn't say I was drained, but I was exhausted. The interesting thing to me was at dinner, everyone was chatting, it was opening night, everyone was, you drained, but I was exhausted. The interesting thing to me was at dinner, everyone was chatting. It was opening night. Everyone was, you know, being their best self.

And I very quickly realized that if I wanted to give a great presentation the next day, which is why I'd been brought in, that I wouldn't be able to be 100% energy the whole night. So I was probably at about 50% energy. And I could tell that people could sense that even if they didn't know me. And I shared with them, I said, hey, I'm really tired. I got off a plane today after 20 hours

of travel. I have a presentation tomorrow. I really wanted to show up and meet everyone, but I'm going to be a bit more reserved tonight. Now, being able to vocalize that, being able to communicate that helped me feel better about it. I want to be at 100 percent. I want to be able to vocalize that, being able to communicate that, helped me feel better about it.

I want to be at 100 percent. I want to be able to give my best, but often my travel schedule, the demands don't allow me to be that way. And I'm guessing it's the same for you as well. And I realized that being able to say to myself and communicate to others why I'm at a 75 percent, why I'm at a 50%, why I'm at a 50%? People are going to be able to sense it. Often we want to act our way through these things. We want to hope that no one realizes.

People recognize, people feel it. But actually, when we can communicate our limits, when we can communicate our challenges, when we can communicate why we're feeling the way we are, why we're acting the way we are, what is happening behind the scenes. Right? No one there had a badge that said the travel time it took them to get in. Some people had come from 30 minutes away and like me,

some from 20 hours away. And so the idea that we should just assume that everyone should be a hundred percent all the time doesn't actually make sense. And I'm hoping that this actually gives you the capacity to also be compassionate to others. I think often we're so quick to judge others. Wow, like, oh, they didn't show up with their best energy. Oh, they seemed off tonight. And we don't recognize what people are carrying, what people are dealing with.

So I want you to take that on board. When can you be at 50% energy? And what does that look like in communicating that? Now, there are times when I have to be at 100% energy. And I know I've got to show up as my best self. I don't have the excuse to say, OK, I'll show up as 50 percent. I don't feel comfortable to communicate that.

I find that might be difficult. So one of the things I've realized in this is to cap the time in order to preserve my energy at 100 percent. The time I can be 100 percent is different. I may show up to a dinner for 30 minutes.

I may make the meeting 10 minutes. I may make the meeting 10 minutes. I may make the presentation 15 minutes. What can I do to do what I want to do, to do what I need to do? But how do I time box it in a way that I can give my best self?

Often what we try and do is say, OK, if the meeting's an hour, I'm going to be there and show up for an hour. Actually, can I solve that in 30 minutes with my best energy? Is that actually more plausible than possible? Step number three.

This one is important if you are on the verge of exhaustion. We have to learn to say no. It's okay to cancel social events. And ideally, what a lot of us do is we try and cancel it last minute. It's actually so much better if you cancel in advance. If you give someone notice, if you let someone know, hey, I'm feeling really rough this week, I'm kind of under the weather. I'm worried that I'm going to get sick and I don't want to come ruin the party.

I don't want to come ruin the event. What we often do is we wait till the last minute. We're going to force ourselves to go and then we realize we really can't go or we force ourselves to go and then we're bitter about it or we're upset about it. It's so important to just get that RSVP out the way, let the person know, let the event know it's okay.

Things will go on. Yes, you'll experience FOMO. Yes, you might miss out on something cool. But guess what? Burnout is not worth it. Exhaustion is not worth it. Feeling drained is not worth it. Let me say that again. Feeling drained is not worth anything. Feeling drained is not worth anything. Feeling exhausted is not worth anything. And experiencing burnout is not worth it. Now, again, there have been times when I have to turn up. I have to be there.

And what I've found is that usually in social settings, it's overwhelming thinking you've got to talk to 20, 30, 40, 50 people. I did this again the other night. coming, thinking you've got to talk to 20, 30, 40, 50 people. I did this again the other night. And I love it when you find someone who's trying to do the same thing. So I ended up talking to someone who is also feeling the same way as me. They were tired. They were feeling slightly drained.

And they said, I just want to find one person to connect to meaningfully. So instead of trying to feel like you've got to work the room, you've got to introduce yourself to everyone, you're going to miss out. Literally find the other person, have a beautiful meaning interaction or exchange and just feel connected and experience what it feels like to actually just allow yourself to be. I think that a lot of this draining feeling actually comes from stress and the stress is where we're demanding too much of our body and mind That's how I look at stress stress is when I'm demanding too much of my body and mind My body and mind is trying to tell me it's limit and I'm pushing it further Sometimes that can be brilliant Kelly McGonigal in her book called the upside of stress Talks about how we can deal with more stress when we experience purpose.

We can deal with more stress when we have a clear intention. So that's one thing to think about. When you are experiencing stress, ask yourself if you need to push through, what's my intention? What am I really trying to achieve? Let me focus on why it's so important

for me to experience this and actually we become better at dealing with it. We deal with it more gracefully. It doesn't have that negative impact that stress often does on our lives. So find a way to think about that. Take a moment to say, what is my intention here? Why is it necessary for me to tackle this stress and take it on right now? Going back to the social event point,

I have a friend who's amazing at this. She'll always message me and she'll say to me, Jay, are you going to this? And I'll say, yes. And she'll be like, can I just let you know that I'm really tired today and I'd love for it if we could just hang out and talk, but I don't think I can do big groups.

I go, I'm all in. Right, that kind of strategy and approach when you know someone coming, it's a safe space. They trust you, you trust them, you can give them a heads up, they can do the same, and now you're supporting each other in that environment. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where the bright side comes in. A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay.

And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates. That's right. Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.

We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together. Listen to the bright side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

Guess what, Mango? What's that, Will? So iHeart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast, Part-Time Genius. I know. That's why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion. It's about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years and it's called Earthquake House. Mango, Mango, I'm going to cut you off right there. Why don't we just tell people about our show instead?

Yeah, that's a better idea. So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world's most important questions. Things like, when did America start dialing 911? Is William Shatner's best acting work in Esperanto? Also, what happened to Esperanto? Plus we cover questions like how Chinese is your Chinese food? How do dollar stores stay in business? And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese? There absolutely is, and we are risking our lives by talking about it. But if you love mind blowing facts,

incredible history, and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune into Part-Time Genius. Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence. Radios were smashed, cassettes burned, you could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules. And yet, Afghans did it anyway. This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol. The danger they endured.

They said my head should be cut off. The joy they brought to the nation. You're free completely. No one is there to destroy you. I'm John Legend. Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Sometimes I actually think that stress or feeling drained makes us more strategic.

Yep, I said that right. Stress can actually make you more strategic. Feeling drained can make you more dynamic. Here's a really interesting thing to think about. Which one of your meetings could actually be emails? Think about that right now. Look through your schedule and ask yourself, which of those could be solved with an email? Which of those could actually be solved in an email exchange?

We don't need to do a call. The call will actually tell into an hour. It will be far more draining. I'll exert way more energy. And actually, I can solve it in far less time. I can actually get to where I need to get to. So sometimes what you find is stress releases your strategy. And I want you to think about that.

When else have you been stressed recently? And how could you have used that stress to become more strategic? How could that stress create a better idea, a better option, a better solution? Because now you're actually thinking, well, how do I do that with less energy and less time? And if we looked at life like that, we may be able to solve some of those things that create more stress, create more pressure in our lives. looked at life like that, we may be able to solve some of those things that create more stress, create more pressure in our lives.

And I'd really consider where and when in your life being more strategic will save you from that added stress. Definitely something to look at, something to consider and something to think about. Now. That also applies to phone calls over Zooms. I find that when we're listening, sometimes I find that when I'm on a phone call, I'm actually more present than when I'm on a Zoom meeting. On a Zoom meeting, you're on your screen, which means most people have email up, emails popping up. You're now looking at yourself and I think you have to turn yourself off. I mean,

I'd actually argue that the amount of time and energy and presence that's drained in looking at your own appearance on a meeting is so high. And most of us have been doing it since the pandemic. Turn your screen off. Just look at the other person. Even pin the person that's speaking, because when you're looking at nine boxes, when in a meeting room would you be looking at nine people at the same time, all at the same time? It would never happen. You look at the person who's talking, maybe you flip over to one or two, but generally you're not looking at nine people all at the same time.

And sometimes you're on a Zoom call with 20 people and you're now looking at everyone. Someone's scratching their head, someone's looking at their phone, someone's taking notes, someone's talking. It can be overwhelming and it can be draining. Which Zoom calls can turn into phone calls? Really important question to ask. Important to think about all the meetings you have, the events you have, the things that you're going to, the things you're traveling to. How can you streamline?

How can you make it simpler? One of my favorite ones, which requires a bit more planning, but has been a huge asset in my life, is called a reset day, a reset half day or a reset hour. Based on how busy my schedule is, I'll make sure that during the weekend Based on how busy my schedule is, I'll make sure that during the weekend I get to have a reset hour, a reset half day or a reset day. What this is, is that it's almost a rehearsal of my most perfect day. It's a day where I get to live how I wish I could live every day. How I want to live every day, how I want to live every day, how I aspire to live every day.

But the realist in me that I've worked on being when I used to be a perfectionist is saying, let me at least have one hour. Let me have half a day of that. Let me have a day of that. Let me invest in that. And how incredible would that be? How powerful would that be in my life if I allowed myself to do that? I love the perfect amount of meditation, the perfect workout.

I'll eat really well, even if it's for an hour. That reset hour or reset day is like what we do when our phone's starting to jam up and we just switch it off and we reset it. We can't do it with an on and off button with ourselves, but we can if we take some time out to reset. And I think we often think, OK, no, tomorrow morning's my reset. It's going to be a if we take some time out to reset. And I think we often think, okay, no, tomorrow morning's my reset. It's going to be a perfect day. Tomorrow morning's my reset. And it's almost like we have to carve out time that's fully under our control

in order to do that effectively. Think about that. One thing that we really need to start learning to ask ourselves when we are failing drained is how can I be kinder to myself? One thing that we really need to start learning to ask ourselves when we are feeling drained is how can I be kinder to myself? A lot of what's draining us is happening within our mind. You're not good enough. You're not fast enough.

Did you see what they did? Look how behind you are. The way we talk to ourselves when we look in the mirror, you're looking overweight. You don't look great today. You look tired. You look drained. Can't you do better than that?

The voice in our head constantly pushing us to be better, do better, but not in an encouraging way, not as a cheerleader, but as a critic. And what's really interesting about that is if we're encouraging and empowering ourselves, we can achieve great things. But if we're stressing ourselves, we're draining ourselves from within. How can you be kinder to yourself when you know you need to push yourself more?

You didn't get to do everything today on your to-do list? That's okay. You got seven out of 10 things done. You didn't perform exceptionally well this week at work? It's okay, we start again on Monday. Maybe you didn't feel like you were the best around exceptionally well this week at work. It's okay. We start again on Monday. Maybe you didn't feel like you were the best around your kids this week or the best around your partner. It's okay. You can improve and take accountability and let them know what's going on. How can you be kinder to yourself?

If you are kinder to yourself, what do you believe you would achieve? This next one's slightly harder. When something's stressing us out, there's two things we can do. One is we can either talk about the stress of the whole time. And if you talk about it with the right people, it actually gets lighter. When you talk about your stress with the right people, it becomes more light. People who help you carry it. People who help you make sense of it. People who help you carry it, people who help you make sense of it,

people who help you think about it, people who just agree with you and let you vent are useful, too. There's a need for you to let that stress out. Being able to talk about it to a friend, a therapist, a colleague, a person who understands you can be huge. Now the opposite also works. Distance from the stressor. So you may not have distance from the stressor verbally, but you want to have distance from

the stressor physically if you can. Don't be around them. Don't be around people who are around them. Don't be around them. Don't be around people who are around them. Don't be around people who know them. It solves your issue when you can distance yourself from having to deal with that stressor up close and personal, face to face. You don't have to put yourself in that position. So ask yourself, can you do that?

And if you can't do that, then allow yourself to vent. Allow yourself to have space and time to let it out. Now I'm bringing this up because I found in my life I was sleeping right, I was drinking the right water, I was eating right, and I still felt drained. And I realized a lot of it was because of a lack of vitamins and supplements. I wasn't getting enough vitamin D,

I had others that were low, and as soon as I got checked out, it changed my life. I highly recommend that you go and get checked out because so often we're trying to solve something in our mind when actually we need to solve it in our body. Right, I always say to people, if you're struggling with your mind, figure out what you could change about your body,

and if you're struggling with your body, figure out what you could change in your mind. So many of us are only looking at one aspect when we need to focus on both. This also applies, as I said earlier, to the quality of your sleep. Obviously feeling drained a big part of his sleep, diet, exercise. Are you drinking over three liters of water a day? Are you eating healthy proteins, healthy fats in good proportions, getting your carbohydrates right? We've got some brilliant episodes on that.

Make sure you check out our gut health episodes. And of course, are you getting good deep sleep? We've had sleep experts on the show before and studies show you need seven to nine hours of sleep, ideally starting before midnight. So if you're sleeping 7 hours from midnight to 7 a.m., it's different from sleeping from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. Those hours before midnight are where the human growth hormone HGH is most activated. Our ability to have deeper, more quality sleep is better when we're doing it before midnight.

Now I want to leave you with one last thing. deeper, more quality sleep is better when we're doing it before midnight. Now I want to leave you with one last thing. And I want to leave you with this idea of if you wake up in the morning and the dishes aren't done, how does it feel waking up to dirty dishes? That's what it feels like waking up when you didn't clean your mind before. Ask yourself at the end of every night when you're drained, what do I want to leave behind today? What am I going to consciously, intentionally leave behind today? What am I going to wash away today?

What am I going to allow to just be today? Wash your mind the night before and leave the draining behind. Thank you so much for listening today. I truly hope this helps you. And remember, I'm always rooting for you and I'm forever in your corner. If you loved this episode, you will also love my interview with Charles Duhigg on how to hack your brain,

change any habit effortlessly, and the secret to making better decisions. Look, am I hesitating on this because I'm scared of making the choice because I'm scared of doing the work? Or am I sitting with this because it just doesn't feel right yet? Guess what, Will? What's up, Mango?

I've been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we've done over 250 episodes, we don't really talk about murders or cults. I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy. We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?

And then, of course, can you game a dog show? So what you're saying is everyone should be listening. Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt. And we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff, How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts. get your podcasts. Learn about all of it and then some. Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.

Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff. Discover a new educational and interactive podcast, Stories for Kids by Lingo Kids. Our episodes are packed with fun activities. Right, Elliot? Oh, yes. We went shape hunting around the block and we found spheres and cubes on the street! That was great fun! Join Stories for Kids, the Lingo Kids podcast, inspiring you to learn while having fun.

Listen to Stories for Kids on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.