On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Jay and His Wife Radhi: 3 Simple Ways to Get Over Your Biggest Fear From 2023 & Reset Your Intentions with Purpose for Next Year

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

Do you want to get over your biggest fear of 2023?  Do you want to set purposeful intentions for next year?   This episode is brought to you by BMW and the most On Purpose most asked for guest is back again, Jay's wife Radhi! Jay and Radhi take a ride around LA together and reflect on the past year in their personal life, relationship as well as career. They reflect on goals, fears, and looking ahead at how they want to change for 2024. Jay and Radhi dive deep into their thoughts on facing their fears and doing things they fear doing the most, the biggest lessons and learning this year, and the personal choices that significantly impacted their lives in the last 12 months.  In this episode Jay's wife Radhi joins him for a road trip around LA in the all electric BMW iX. The iX is the embodiment of the ideal blend of luxury, technology, and power that delivers a thrilling, yet sustainable comfortable ride.  In this episode, you'll learn: How to overcome your fears & unlock the core of your fears  How to set better intentions for next year  How to give value to your partner's opinions How to see past the lessons you’ve learned As always with Jay and Radhi, their conversations are filled with laughter as well as deep reflections. This episode is filled with incredible nuggets of tips on how to implement strategies on shifting your mindset on fear and goal setting.  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:34 What’s Something You Would Ask Your Partner’s Opinion Of? 03:24 What Do You Avoid Asking Opinion For? 06:56 What Need Have You Not Found a Friend to Spend With? 08:25 If We Switch Roles Today, What’s the First Thing You Will Do As Me? 14:08 Any Fun Memories While Driving? 16:57 Where Do You Drive To When You Miss Home? 18:43 Place You Are Most Scared of Going That You Ended Up Going 23:49 What’s the Root Cause of Our Fears? 26:41 What Is the Biggest Lesson You’ve Learned this Year 29:59 What Is Something You Want to Work on Next Year? 34:04 What Is Something You Valued in Your Relationship Now that You Didn’t Value Before? 37:58 What Did You Change This Year that Impacted Your Life? To learn more about the all electric BMW iX head here https://bit.ly/jayshettyxbmwix See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Craig Ferguson goes in search of joy. In talks with actors, doctors, stand-ups, and scientists, everyone. Is it love, religion, drugs, money? Where do you find it? Craig Ferguson, in search of joy, the celebrations, the dances, science, poetry, laughter, and music of joy.

Don't miss it. Joy with Craig Ferguson. Here it now. On the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm here to help. Hello, this is Leverand Cox. I'm an actress, producer and host of the Leverand Cox show.

Do you like your tea with lemon or honey? History-making Broadway performer Alex Newell. When I sing the Holy Ghost shows up, that's my ministry and I know that well about me. That's the G-Honey. Whoever it is, you can bet we get into it. My guest tonight, we go there every single time. I can't help it. Listen to the Leverand Cock Show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Let's be honest, life is stressful. It's work, it's relationships, and the state of the world.

But there's a way to bring that stress level down. Calm. It's the number one app for mental wellness with tons of content to manage anxiety, promote concentration, and help you unwind. There's music, meditation, and more. Calm makes it easy to de-stress, you can literally do a one-minute breathing exercise. Personally, I love the soundscapes.

Nothing like a little rain on leaves to help soothe my nervous system. I've actually been working with Calm for a couple of years now, and I'd love for you to check out my series on reducing overwhelm. Eight short practices, quick relief. Right now, listeners of on purpose get 40% off a subscription to calm premium at calm.com forward slash j. That's c-a-l-m.com forward slash j-a-y for 40% off. Calm your mind, change your life. Join Radeon I for a special on purpose episode today with BMW. Radeon I love to calm your mind, change your life. I love going on road trips and I thought today we just do a little spin. You do. Good little chats. Yeah, find a nice lookout point and you're the sunset.

Mm. You know, I'm a romantic hopeless romantic. You got questions next to you. Amazing. The team chose these questions. Let's dove in. What is something you would ask my opinion of? I would ask your opinion of what's good for my health.

Like I'm like, okay, I want to deserve what today that's healthy. I would ask your feedback on, I've been doing this workout. I'm not sure I'm feeling good from it or bad from it. Like, how should I change it? Uh-huh. I would ask for your opinion of, I want to feel like this in the morning or this in the night or I've got a headache. What should I do? That's natural. And a remedy that's going to help straight away.

My gut's not feeling so well. What's the change I could make that will make me feel better? You know, I think I ask you opinion of me sometimes as a person. Like I find it really reassuring and it means the world to me when I know that you love me and you appreciate me and that you value me. I think that means a lot to me because I really value your opinion because I think that you are an amazing person and I think that you have a really good moral character and are a very honest genuine person and so when you think good things with me I think that if I have a choice or decision I'm making or if I'm sharing something or writing something or thinking about something I always like getting your opinion because I feel that if I've checked it through with you, then it'll be authentic and deep. Oh, thanks. There's a good amount of stuff. There's more.

There's so much more I'd ask you to open your own first. I would ask you for advice on people, like if I've got some sort of discrepancy with people, or I'm feeling a sandwich about someone, I know you'll give me a really honest opinion about both sides. I guess someone who doesn't really take sides about things, which I really appreciate. You see it as the actual situation versus who's involved. I ask you about some of my fashion things,

even though sometimes we don't see eye to eye. I'll get your opinion, because it may not take it all the time, but I will still get the opinion. I got it. I would ask you about every time I need any motivation or I'm feeling like I'm lacking in trying to get through my day or figure out what I should do next.

You're so good at figuring out a step-by-step of telling something that feels so big into manageable steps and achievable things. So I appreciate that. That's really good for me, I feel like I always make things really big in my mind and you really help to break it down and you're like actually let's trip all back and this is actually what you need to do. I would ask you opinion about our work stuff like it's just such a beast in terms of work and constantly reminding

me to go back to a deeper intention and I think that's what's so important is less about the obviously so good at what you do but aren't but even deeper than that I feel like the motivation and the intention behind it is what you always remind me of and so I definitely ask your opinion on whether something feels right or wrong because I think you're always quite aligned with intention. That's just a good thing to remind you. Thanks so much. I really appreciate that. What is something you wouldn't ask my opinion? right or wrong, because I think you're always quite aligned with intention. That's just a good thing to me. Thanks so much. I really appreciate that.

What is something you wouldn't ask my opinion of? I think what I avoid now asking your opinion of sometimes is my fashion choice. For sure, we definitely don't have that. Because I think I've become quite adventurous. You have. And I quite enjoy like pushing the boundaries, trying new silhouettes and shapes. And to me, it's all about like, I feel like I get to express myself.

I feel like I get to, I feel like creatively, I also get to push my own limits. When I'm like, oh, that's what I thought worked. And now I'm able to open my mind up to a new shape, a new color, a new space. And I enjoy that, not just in fashion, but in all areas of life. And I think I get scared sometimes,

because I do also want you to think I look cool. But obviously some of the stuff I try sometimes is pretty out there. Yeah, and I want to be honest, but I still think you should do everything. Like, for me, it's more, you should do whatever makes you feel happy. Which is why I still love you.

That you want to do, but then I'm not going to tell you I like something if I don't. Totally, totally. And so, so that the no-asking is probably the best route to go with you. Because, because I'm not gonna tell you I like something if I don't totally I appreciate the the no asking is probably the best route to go because because I'm using so much of my Confidence to pull it off that then if some if I ask you up in there, then you don't like it's like that's really hard Cuz I already knew yeah, it's already had to push I don't like it, but you should wear what you like. You should wear what you, you feel comfortable in.

You should wear what you make you happy, because if you don't feel comfortable or happy in what you're wearing, then it doesn't matter who likes it. It really makes no difference. So I think it should be a personal expression. I think it's so cool that you express yourself in that way and I think it's cool that you feel free to do that. I believe you have to have different people in your life for different things.

I completely agree with you. And I recommend everyone does this activity where you write down every need you have in your life. You match that to a person in your life. And if you have a gap, often what ends up happening is you expect that of your partner or you expect that of your sibling or you expect that of your parent. Yeah. going, well, let me be proactive and take responsibility for finding the person that solves this gap. So let's say you're like, oh, I don't have someone to go roller skating with, for example, because I know you love roller skating. It's like, okay, well, let me go and find that person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a horrific at what it's going. And it's an acquired taste, right? And so it's a specific interest

that other people may not be talented or skilled at. Just like I like playing football and you don't. And so I think finding that person's really important. You know what I really like about this car? It does is you can use hand gestures to do things. But for what? But say you're moving your hands around because you're an expressive talker.

But you're basically, it does everything from like, you can use, so which is kind of cool because you don't have to press buttons. Yeah. But it does it to change songs and stuff see. But because you're so expressive, it's doing things without even knowing. Right.

So, tone it down. Yeah, so, yeah, what was your thing that you were... That I wouldn't come ask your opinion of. I know you're good with, like, solutions. So if I don't want a solution, I just want a van. That's so good. Probably won't come to you. That's so good.

I probably won't. But I want you to feel comfortable. No, no, no. I was just half joking. But, yeah, I know that sometimes if I don't want a solution, I just want to, like... Well, I know you can always tell me that, you know that. Yeah, I know that.

You can always come to me and say, look, I don't want to. So really? What else would I not ask your opinion on? I probably wouldn't ask your opinion about food. Definitely not. Don't be late, you know that. Yeah, no way. You can always come to me and say, look, I don't want to. Totally. Well, that's what I'm not asking for. I probably wouldn't ask for opinion about food. Definitely not. I like sometimes asking other people to pick for me, but then you don't enjoy doing that either, so. Yeah, I do.

Yeah, I think that's a good selection, really. What is there in your life do you think that you have a need, that you haven't found the person yet? Like, what is it that you would think you'd need on a weekly, monthly basis in your life do you think that you have a need, that you haven't found the person yet? Like what is it that you would think you'd need on a weekly, monthly basis in your life? And you're like, you know what, I don't have that friend yet? Or like I haven't built that relationship,

I haven't proactively figured that out. I have friends to work out with. I have friends that I can call just the past time where I have friends to have meaningful conversations where they're friends to do spiritual activities with not necessarily as much here as I do in London, I have friends who have meaningful conversations with, I have friends who do spiritual activities with, not necessarily as much here as I do in London, but still. Yeah, that's for me as well.

I have my mum for a lot of stuff. She takes a lot of boxes, you take a lot of boxes, my friends, I don't know, I feel like it's a deal. That's good, that's a complete life, that's good. I feel like my sister takes a lot of boxes for me. No, but that's good, that's a good place to be. My niece and nephew for some fun and silly converse. I've been looking for a competitive fee for a friend.

Oh yeah, you do. I need a competitive fee for someone like someone who really gets me to become better. Maybe, you know, I'm always having a friend that just comes and sits and does nothing with me. I like having friends like that sometimes. We just exist together, maybe take naps together, maybe just like watch something

but don't have to talk together. Right, got it. A lot I said, but just like nothing is actually said. Got it. And I friends like that. Next question. And a friend you really like watching reality TV show because that's my little secret indulgent pleasure thing

where I just like switching off. And I haven't quite found a friend who likes sitting and binge watching reality TV. If we had to switch roles for a day, what's the first thing you do as me? Meditate and work out. Those are the two non-negotiables in Rade's life that is a lot. I will be late for everything. Ten years. The thing you'll never be late for is a workout and meditation.

She's always there. It's amazing. It's really impressive. It's impressive. It's impressive, sometimes not mentally. It's impressive though. I think it takes a lot of dedication to have a non-negotiable. And I think it's amazing that your non-negotiable habits are so important because they set you

up for the rest of the day. And it's like if you compromised on those two things, could you imagine what life would be like? No, I think I'd just really struggle going through the day without it. And I think what's really amazing is that you having those non-negotiables has inspired me to have similar non-negotiables, especially with working out,

in a way that I don't think I would have had if someone forced me to, if someone preached to me to do it, if someone made me do it. Like, when I see you dedicated every single day to your workout, whether it's a weekday, whether it's a weekend, whether it's two workouts a day, I look at that and go, okay, got it. Like that's a really great discipline.

Yes, nice having things that you really appreciate in your life that you don't feel like you need breaks from. I feel like they're a few and far between because it doesn't ever seem like you're working. It's just like part of your being and it's the person that you are on screen off screen with friends with family. Like I don't see a difference in that because that is just what you absolutely love doing. It's like your full nature to be that. And so there's no negotiables come because you just feel and see the deep impact that it has on you.

And then you kind of, like you just know that I just know I'm not gonna have a great day. Even if it's not crazy workouts, even if it's just a walk or movement, it's just so important. And I always see movement as mind movement, body movement, both equally so important. And I think meditation is great mind movement

and walking or workouts is great mind movement and walking or work out as a great body movement but both of them help with your emotional well-being, your physical well-being, your communication, just getting things flowing. Yeah, there's an amazing Zen teacher that says what movement does for your body, mindfulness does for your mind or meditation does for your mind and I love that. What was the question that? If it's just rolls for the what was the first thing you do as me as you I Would I would go on a Facebook live

Facebook or like an Instagram live whatever and I would fully start Acting out like just things you wouldn't say things you wouldn't do Yes, more this is more like freaky Friday. that's the point. Yeah, I would dress crazy, and I would, oh, you know what I do? I would get people to just realize how wacky and like, fun you are, because sometimes people don't see that. Got it.

You know what? You'd go into work, and I'd be like, you know what, today guys, we're not gonna work today. So we're just gonna sit around, cook something. Right. Have a little chat. Then I want to answer that question back for you, because that's a fun one.

Oh, man. Yeah. So beautifully. Look at this. It's amazing. I'm the legal. I love these look out points in LA. They're really special.

They're nice. They're really special. Just open up the mind. And I love how you can just pull up and find a spot and really take it all in. It's really so beautiful. Is it so nice? I think I want to answer the question for me then.

Well, what would I do as you say? I like your answer for me. So if I woke up as you freaky Friday, what would I do? I think I'd go do, I'd test out all the things. I think you have so much talent. I think you have just so much potential. I think you're one of the entertaining people in the world not singing. Everything about singing.

Not dancing. Everything about from singing to dancing. Mixed sleeping. Yeah, you get it. I Not dancing. Everything about from singing and dancing. Mixed sleeping. Yeah, you get it. I'm curious. Everything about from singing and dancing. And I would literally just, that's what I would do. I would just go and do everything that I think I know you have the hidden potential for.

That's fun. Because you're just so talented. You mean the example of one thing? I can't wait to see your host, the TV show. I can't wait to see you write more books. I can't wait to see you. I books. I can't wait to see you. I'll let you write a book for me. I would do that as you. But I just see you like traveling across the world studying cultures, teaching that culture, passing it on through TV, through

film, through movies. You could act. You could do whatever you wanted. You're so talented. And you can write all of those things. On a hard day, what is the thing you will do to make each other start laughing immediately? That's a good question. Also, I do mind you, that's an... Or dancing or something. Dancing, you... I still remember that video. Do you remember?

I don't remember. Do the baking. Do the baking. Do the baking. Yeah, I do remember. It was so good. Like, one day, this is before Rade ever made content and people were unaware.

She randomly started in this dance and I filmed it for fun. And I was like, you have to post this because it is just pure joy. And you posted it. And I remember everyone loving it too. And it was just like, yeah, you can literally burst out into dance

or make a funny face. You can make me laugh very easily. Very easily. If I was trying to make you laugh, I'd put on an outfit I love. I would. I would. I wouldn't laugh. I would try and help you cook. That would be the love. Yeah. I would. What else would I do to make you laugh? I mean, you're really good at finding funny TikToks. You are. Wow, that's my life. Good. Then you do, though. You find really good

quality, funny TikToks. Oh, you know what you do sometimes when you're like guessing yourself up, that makes you laugh. You make you laugh, I do that. Yeah. You get a banner. Next question. Do you have any fun memories when it comes to driving? Oh, moments spent with family, friends driving off to university. I do. I have such fun memories in cars with my dad. I feel like when he was dropping me to university or when, even now when he's dropping me to the airport, they've released Fetch Times where I feel like it gives space to just open up and he'll just share stories about his like youth where they didn't know about. We'll just talk about random things and I'll just find so much out about him and he's usually quite a quiet person.

And so it feels like the car journeys are when things are changing. Even when we go back to where his family lives in Norwich, it's like a two and a half hour three hour drive. And I always think along the way, this is where this happened, this is where this happened. Or yeah, there's always little moments where he'll just suddenly start reminiscing in journeys and I think that because you're going on a journey, your mind kind of goes back to journeys in your life and yeah, definitely enjoy that. And then also with my grandma because I drive her and her friends around sometimes to like take them to different places. So imagine like four, nine-year-old women in the car that are

just laughing and hanging out and so I love doing Uber service for them. That's fun. I'm singing along. Singing along with my nephew in the car. That is a good one. That's always fun. We've found so many fun road trips as well. I love being out and about on the road. Videos of you and origin singing in the car. They're so fun. I love a good karaoke moment in the car. Yeah, he's like singing his heart out. Singing his heart out to Adele. I think for me, I actually love car time as a space for reflection. I don't know what it is about cars for me.

You did that a lot. You don't play music. I don't. I drive in silence a lot of the time. I'll listen to my own thoughts, I'll reprogram them, I'll take a moment to... I find sometimes when I'm in the car, I talk to God the most. Yeah, I love that. I don't know what it is about that, but I find it a really easy way to talk out loud and just listen and pray and reflect.

Like, I do that a lot if I'm driving alone. That's really beautiful. I think my favorite memories of road trips also include all of our road trips, like our weekend trips. So fun. Whenever we're doing a playlist, when we're... You know, just hanging out, having conversations like this, always find out when we find like, even when we do road trips with friends and stuff, I feel like we're taking games, cracking jokes,

it was so fun. It was so fun, it was so fun. And then I think when I was young, I remember, because my parents would drive from London to Europe, so we wouldn't get a plane, we'd drive, we'd get the ferry from Dover to Kelly, and then drive to Europe. So we wouldn't get a plane, we'd drive. We'd get the ferry from Dover to Calais and then drive to Europe. And I always found that to be so incredible because we'd go through, you'd get to see like every country in a really intimate way. Like now when you fly, it's almost like you don't get to see the roads in the streets and everything. On his new podcast, six degrees with Kevin Bacon joined Kevin for inspiring conversations with celebrities who are working to make a difference in the world, like musical artist,

Jewel. And what an equal opportunist misery is, it doesn't care if you're black or white or rich or poor or famous or homeless. If you are raised in misery systems, it's perpetual. Kevin is the founder of the nonprofit organization, 6-Degrees.org. Now he's meeting with like-minded actors who share a passion for change, like Mark Ruffalo. You know, I found myself moving up state in the middle of this fracking fight that I'm trying to raise kids there and my neighbors, like willing to poison my water.

These conversations between Kevin and activist Matthew McConaughey will have you ready to lean in, learn, and inspire to act. They're all in the wrong track, help get on the right track. If they're on the right track, let's help them double down on that and see the opportunities stay on the right track for success in the future. Listen to six degrees with Kevin Bacon on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Something about Mary Poppins?

Something about Mary Poppins. Something about Mary Poppins. Exactly. Oh, man, this is fun. I'm AJ Jacobs, and I am an author and a journalist, and I tend to get obsessed with stuff. And my current obsession is Puzzles. And that has given birth to my new podcast, The Puzzler Dressing.

Dressing. Oh, French dressing. Exactly. podcast, the puzzler, dressing, dressing, a fridge dressing. Exactly. That's good. That's good. We are living in the golden age of puzzles, and now you can get your daily puzzle nuggets delivered straight to your ears for 10 minutes or less. Every day on the puzzler, short and sweet. I thought to myself, I bet I know what this is, and now I definitely know what this is. This is so weird. This is fun. Let's try this one.

Listen to the puzzler every day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. That's awful, and I should have seen it coming. Where do you drive to when you miss home when you're in LA? When I really miss home, it's weird because what I really miss is this place I'm really odd, but seeing Indian people and being around Indians and seeing like ground moths with sari's on and I feel like in LA, you don't, we see people but I would say I see a lot less brown people than I do when I'm in London On a day-see-a-basis so as you know, especially during festivals or like Indian festivals

I want to go to Artisia Serritos And Indian food, buy Indian clothes Buy Indian clothes be like in a place where there are just so many people that feel like my community. And there's something above that that makes me feel nostalgic. So sometimes I'll go to an Indian, like this veggie Indian restaurant that I really like here. If usually my missing home is like missing my mum's food because when I'm feeling sad or I feel like I need comfort, it's usually my mum, my mum's specifically my mom's food, that brings me that comfort.

And if I can't get that, then I have to go see some like old Indian women in Saris. So it feels like I'm around my grandma. Yeah, I love that. So yeah, that's probably, if I think about it, it's either that or I'll sit just by myself and eat ice cream and watch a body with me or something. Nice.

I think for me, I drive to places I can make new memories. So if I miss home, I'm always thinking, well, what's a new cool, fun thing I can do to create and build a new memory? I think it's very easy for me sometimes to think, if I miss something that I have to recreate it, or sometimes we think, if we miss something, you have to remake it.

For me, I just like to think, OK, well, what opportunity do I have, or what possibility do I have? recreative or sometimes we think if we miss something you have to remake it for me I just like to think okay well what opportunity do I have or what possibility do I have to just build something fresh So I think that's what I do. What is the thing you are most scared of going into this past year that you ended up doing? Literally a month before my world tour. I was so close to pulling out Because I was really worried about whether I'd be able to stay healthy and fit traveling to all those countries. And I was concerned about my well-being, I was thinking about work, I was thinking about all the things I had to put on hold. It was like, I wasn't going to see you for months, I wasn't going to see most of my team for months, I wasn't going to be able to do so much of the work

that I'm used to doing every single year. We had to take meditations in advance. We had to take podcasts in advance. There was so much work in like a month before I was like, okay, I don't think I can go on tour. And the thing that kept me going was Nicole and Annie had worked so hard on putting the tour together. And the team had worked so hard on putting the tour together. And the team had worked so hard on putting the tour together.

And I was like, I can't let them down. Like, if I cancel it, it's going to let down all these people who have worked so hard putting it all together. And I can't just pull out and I never told them that to laugh to it. And I think they were relieved. But it was just one of those things. If just like, when you're doing something new, what I've learned is it's so natural to feel scared. And it's just one of those things. It's just like when you're doing something new,

what I've learned is it's so natural to feel scared and it's so natural to feel fear and what I've realized is before I used to think you have to wait to get over the fear to do something or you have to wait till you don't feel scared so you can do something. So you spend all your energy going, okay, well how do I take care of my fear? How do I control my fear? How do I move past what I'm scared of? And the truth is, you have to be fearful and do it anyway. Like you're going to be scared anyway. So why not accept that you're scared, accept that you're fearful, create a plan, and then do it.

Like when I went on my tour, I remember after finishing the US leg, I was exhausted. And then when I went international my tour, I remember after finishing the US leg, I was exhausted. And then when I went international, we started in Australia. Again, there were some crazy highs and lows on tour when it came to like health and wellness fitness. We were literally in a city for a max one and a half days. And so for me, Yeah, that was intense.

For me, I mean, you came with me for a week and it was exhausting. Why am I getting a massage in my childhood? Guys, I just found out that there is a massage feature in this car and I am just activated. While I was answering my question. Yeah, while I was opening my heart. For some relaxation. This is what Rady's like, so this is how Rady makes me laugh. I'll be having a really vulnerable, deep, open a heartfelt conversation and then you'll do something like this. Can you

feel it? Yes, I can feel it. That's really amazing. Who doesn't want a bit of a back massage when you're driving around? I've never seen that in a car. All right, um, no that is yours. Oh, yeah, that's what you'll do. You totally distract away from my deep meaning football. I'm gonna be like, oh, yeah, that was really true. No, you are. No, you are so sorry, but tell me that feature is not worth being destructive. It was worth it. What was I think? Oh my god, this was the year that I literally did so many things that I would normally say, no, to always get off.

I spoke on stage. Oh yeah, how was that? I explained that process for you because I think you put it up on Instagram and I remember everyone that week being like, oh my god, it's amazing. It was so sweet. It was such a big thing for you. We'll cast through that. It was such a big thing to something but like it was such a big thing for you Walk us through that. It was such a big thing to me. Um, why was it such a big thing for you? So you invited to give a speech for I was invited to give a speech for an organization that had like what was it?

3,000 people right in the audience, which is huge. You never spoken to more than like what? 300 people made. I remember really spoken to people like that on stage. I maybe done one panel or something back in the day But I remember freezing it not not even talking to you. And this was a keynote. This was not a panel. This was a keynote where I was a full like, what's the first human that's speaking to the crowd and then like 15 minutes of Q&A.

But it was, I was practicing for months. Like I was going over and over again, writing it, practicing. It made me realize how when you write something, it's so different when you're speaking. Like, things when you write, and then when you say it can feel so cheesy, it was just such a weird experience

because I was literally getting to the day of and I was like, I have to cancel. Like, no, the night before, you know, we really had practicing in front of a mirror, that was really great. But it still didn't take away my fear and I have to say it wasn't something where I did it. And I was like, yeah, I can't wait to do it again.

It was like, okay, I'm so glad I did it. And it's so nice to know that I can overcome a fear of being in front of so many people and worried about not sounding smart or not sounding like I know what I'm even talking about or getting words wrong or not. You always want to feel like an expert before you do something.

I always have felt like an amateur and things that I do and so that's always stopped me from doing things where I've been too scared of being seen as someone who's not doing things really well or doesn't know it and so then I'd hide away from it. And so it was just interesting for me to do it. And even though I wouldn't say I was an expert at all, I still gave it a go and was okay with getting things wrong

and maybe not being perfect at it. And so even more than feeling successful, I just felt liberated of like getting over that fear. What do you think it is? Because I feel like when we feel fear or we feel scared, we feel fearful and scared of so many different things. But really, there's a root to where that comes from. Mine, if I'm completely honest,

roots from always feeling like I've never been smart enough because of grades or people in my family being smarter than me. And by the way, I'm not like, oh, that's so sad. I'm just saying that is where it roots from. Because I've always had that. And so, and I've told myself that for so long, and I've always tend to other people to fix things or make things better,

or to tell me whether what I'm doing is right or wrong, that I never believe me start standing by myself doing something was gonna be as good as other people doing it with me. So it definitely was from that. And then I've just realized that just get over it, the worst things that happen in life. And you don't have to be an expert to do things.

That's why I started trying to do things that I'm really not good at. Because sometimes I really enjoy things that I'm not good at. But I stop myself from doing them because I just think that I shouldn't, because I'm not good at it. And I think myself from doing them because I just think that I shouldn't because I'm not good at it. And I think that we're just trained to feel that way. When not everything has to be about being really good at things. It can just be because you want to try or that you want a new experience.

I mean, it is about being really good at things. Yeah, for people who are good at things. No, I think I really appreciate your resilience. I remember when, what was it that you tried when we were on vacation a couple of years ago? It was a great point. It was a great point. I think it your resilience. I remember when, what was it that you tried when we were on vacation a couple of years ago? It was a great point. It was a great point. I think it might be, yeah.

Anyway, that was like watching you do that, and I remember the next day you felt like you'd had whiplash. But you just kept getting back up and trying it even though you'd stand up for like three seconds and fall over. I remember timing it. And it was just amazing. You're so, you're resilience to like keep trying something

even when it's so difficult. like you do love that too. I do love trying. But yeah, I really enjoyed trying all those things this year and recognizing that, you know, lots of people are like, oh, I tried this thing and, you know, I tried it once and then I just got that, you know, people kept asking me, they're like, once you start actually speaking in public, you're going gonna get this bug for it, and you're gonna wanna do it. And I was like, I have not got the bug for it.

And it's not something that I'm craving to do again. She was out differently. I love it. Yeah, you do, of course. I mean, just, and the thing is, you're so good at it, but it's taken so many tries and doing it from a group of five people to 50 people, to 100 people, to a thousand people,

to, you know, however many people came to a thousand people to, you know, however many people came to your show, like, you really built that. Why you laughing? Because if I'm, however many. Yeah, because like so many endless, countless people came to your show and you did that over and over again.

And I just think that it's something which you see your comfort on stage. I do not feel my comfort on stage. I feel my comfort. In other areas, yeah. It is my home. Well, I thought you did amazing. Thank you.

What is the biggest lesson you have learned this year? The biggest lesson that I've learned this year is this going to sound so lame, because there's only thing I can think of right now because I'm tired. But like, how important sleep is? Especially because I've stepped up in what I actually do in my day.

What I've realized is how important one, conserving your energy and being able to have a long time is and also how important, like relationships are in terms of what you gain from human connection and how energetic that can feel and also how draining that can feel and knowing the difference between both and who gives you both of those things, who are the people you spend time with that actually help feed your energy. I think I've had to really learn that in the time that I'm expanding with people because I feel so drained and then how important sleep is not in a superficial way but in the way that it affects your mood, your energy levels, your ability to wake up and even meditate in the morning,

your ability to work during the day. It just affects so much of what you want to eat, what you crave, it just impacts everything. And so I've really been trying to prioritize sleep lately of at least sleeping earlier. And that's that. That's good. I really think the biggest thing I've learned this year,

which I feel like the universe keeps reminding me of this, but it's a big one, is don't judge an emotion in others that you've never felt because the universe will make you experiencing. Oh my gosh, yes. So often we look at other people's life and we go, why are they so stressed about that? That's so why? Why are they so anxious about that? There's nothing to do with that. Like, why are they so mad about that? I wouldn't be mad about that. And then all of a sudden, the same thing happens to you. And all of a sudden, you're like broken. And I've seen that happen so many times to friends. I've seen that happen so many times to myself

where you're judging someone else's pain, thinking you could deal with that pain. And then you go, when I'm actually going through that pain, I don't want to feel it anymore. And so whenever I find myself thinking, oh, I could handle that better, or that's not a big deal, or can't believe they're struggling with that, I've started to realize just don't have that feeling because you have no idea how that person's navigating it, what their trigger is,

what their trauma is, what their pain is, and it's so easy to be like, oh, well, I find that easy. And when you actually go through it, it's another ball game. And so I remember, you know, like, it's kind of like when people are like, oh, you know, not that I say this, but a lot of people will say like,

oh, there's no such thing as depression, there's no such thing as anxiety, like it's just all in your head, like things like that. It's not actually helpful. And I think everyone goes through something like that in life that really breaks them down. And when I go through that,

like when I feel like I've judged something and then I'm going through it myself, I go, oh, got it. This is making me more compassionate now for other people's pain. And I hope that I can keep this feeling when I'm feeling confident that even if I haven't experienced someone's pain,

I can still be compassionate towards it because I recognize that I don't understand all types of pain just because I think I do mentally. It's so interesting how we think because we understand something theoretically, it should be easy practically. When we're not going through that challenge right now, we underplay it and undermine it. And then as soon as we're going for our own challenge, we overhype it. Yeah. The next question is, what is something you want to work on for next year? Nice. And I think my thing is, I think that it's easy when, and I'm sure many people have felt this in relationships or even with friendships, where you see someone with a specific purpose and like, they know what they're doing and

you can almost either jump on the bandwagon of their purpose or intention and try and mimic it without actually feeling it or doing the work it requires to maintain it and I think you have that a lot because I think seeing you have your purpose and have seen you do that for a long time, I think I kept trying to create the same purpose for myself or jump onto your purpose and make it my own, but the problem was I didn't have the deep rooted feeling that you have with what you are doing. And so that's why my energy and my desire for it would run out so fast and I would have

to keep motivating myself today, keep miming myself, but there wasn't an actual motivation because the motivation was coming from you. I think for me next year, it's about actually figuring out what my deep rooted purpose and intention is behind what I'm doing and everything I'm doing to feel like it is mine versus one what other people think my purpose is and to trying to jump onto someone else's because it seems so amazing because

you're so connected to it but it's not mine and therefore don't have that connection. It's interesting how our mind does that even when we know purpose is individual it's unique it's not adopted. Like we always talk about that famous line in the Bhagavad Gita which says that it's better to do your own purpose imperfably than to try to do someone's perfectly. Because the point is doing your thing

is way better than trying to do someone else's. And also the other verse that I love about purpose is when you protect your purpose, your purpose, protect you. When we try to imitate or project someone's purpose onto ourself, it doesn't work, because we actually have to protect the diamond of our purpose that we're holding onto.

And we have to care for it as if it's a spray gem. Well, something you want to work on for next year. It's been a few things I've been thinking about. One is that I really believe that my best work for me at this point in my career comes when I'm, when I have space. And there was a time in my life where being productive and efficient was what helped me achieve.

And I feel like I'm at a place in my life where I feel like the more I'm reflecting, reading, being thoughtful, I feel like a'm at a place in my life where I feel like the more I'm reflecting, reading, being thoughtful, I feel like a better version of myself. And so I think I've been reprioritizing from being productive to almost zooming out and gaining more perspective. And that requires a lot of restructuring of my life. I have lots of commitments. I have lots of responsibilities.

There's so many things I have to think about in order to do that, but I'm realizing that I'm better with more time than less time. It's not about more socialized. Like, I'm not trying to create more of a social life. That's not really what will make me happy, but I'm trying to create more of space to be more curious

and be more, even more reflective and thoughtful than I believe I already give myself time to. I find that I'm often putting myself in a lot of discomfort to operate at a high level and I want to give myself some mental comfort and I believe that will really create some fascinating projects and vision for what I want to do in the world. I think that there's points in your career where you just have to like put your head down and work really hard and then you get to points in your career where you have to look up and take a step back.

And I think I'm at a point in my career where I want to do that because I want to really think about the impact I want to have in the world. I want to really think about the work I want to do. The pathways I think are going to really shift culture in the world and I want to give think about the work I want to do, the pathways I think are going to really shift culture in the world and I want to give myself time and space. That's not going to come from productivity that's going to come from perspective. What is something you valued this past year in our relationship that you did not value in the past? Oh, that's such a great question. That's it maybe for me is I think in the past because I wasn't,

you're always ready to give help and I wasn't ready to necessarily receive it because I wasn't ready to do the work, I took to do it. And you're always someone who wants to help and you always have the time and space to help, no matter what you have going on. And I think in the past I didn't value it because I almost wasn't ready to... I didn't want to waste your time because I knew I wasn't ready to put in the work to actually take it on. But you know what I mean? It was more mean of being in a place to do the stuff required because I'd get your advice and then I wouldn't implement. And then it didn't, you know, it didn't make sense. And it made me feel bad about it. Whereas I feel like this year,

because I made a decision to really try and understand what my potential was, and to push myself to see and explore that, I was able to take on a lot of your really great advice and time, and I value that advice a lot more now, because I'm ready to actually receive it. I think for me, there's a couple of things. I think I learn to re-value every year just how much you do love me by your choice to, you know, as we've always talked about.

It's been so hard for you to move away from family, move to New York, and then move to L.A. And then, and I know you go back often when it's nice, but you still base yourself here, and I think I learned to re-value that every year as a sign of how much you love me, because I realized that that is the reason that makes you do it. Like you wouldn't do it if it wasn't for that. And I think that that is something I have to re-value.

I get a newfound value for it every year, because I realize it more and more. And I think the other thing that I value that maybe I didn't value before was how much, again I think it's a re-value too of how much you're so flexible and adaptable. Like if I said to you, I've got this amazing opportunity, I need to get on a plane tomorrow. You never make me feel guilty or bad about it. And that is just, I've thought about it a lot and I'm like that is really hard and yes we're both like that with each other. But I think it takes a lot to just be flexible and adaptable. Life hasn't got less busy, it's got more busy. So I think

that's a newfound value again that I renew every year of like, wait a minute, you're more flexible and adaptable. I went on a world tour this year. I was gone for, you know. You're really good at that. I feel like you're state of mind. And I'm not just saying this, you're very ingratitude.

You're a very ingratitude person on a daily basis with not just me, but literally every single person around you. And I think that just pours into everything that you do. What has it changed you have made this past year that impacted your daily life? Putting in the work, it takes to complete things because I'd have the, I do the work, it takes to start things,

but I didn't do the work, it takes to complete things till this year and so I see how hard that is for people, I've a newfound appreciation for people who actually get things done, my goodness. What a life to live. I just want to say that basically because I've completed things this year, I do feel like I feel more confident in myself and I think that it's impacted my daily life because I've started making little decisions by myself and I've started trusting in my own voice and I've started being more sure about the things that I actually think I should do in a situation versus asking a thousand people or trying to second-guess myself. And so, with committing to completing things in my life, it has come with a boost of confidence in my own voice.

And that has impacted my daily life in so many ways, because, yeah, it just made me a bit more secure in who I am, definitely not fully there, but it's like, I feel like the beginning of the journey of really understanding myself a little bit more, and it's all come from consistency and trying to commit to things for myself and I actually really have appreciated that this year. I think for me it's having an amazing team. Your team is just literally

just special hearing. It's not because they're gonna hear it or are hearing it. I feel like being surrounded by people, you actually enjoy spending time with and as people, not just at work, and being surrounded by people that you trust and that trust you and that being surrounded by people, there was a quote that I read the other day that said, a great relationship is when both people feel lucky. You so have that in your team.

And I feel like having that in your personal life, your professional life, in every area of your life, that's what makes life special. So that has made a big change, like being surrounded by people who just have wonderful values and qualities. I feel like you've attracted each other because honestly I don't know how your team is so as special as they are. Like, every single person has different personalities, but the same care, attention, desire, and what's beautiful is there's like, you feel no competition there,

which is really difficult to create in a work environment. Everybody feels so secure in their roles and how they see it as collaborative thing. Like, they all feel like part of a puzzle and they all work so well together to do that. It's so beautiful. I just, I appreciate seeing you so happy finally because I think that you've worked so hard

to get to this point to have people who feel the same way. It's nice being surrounded by people who feel the same desire and excitement as you do every single day. Yeah, it's been really special. And on that note, I want to say a big thank you to all of you because I think it's been amazing just the amount of love and support that on purpose has had in the last 12 months,

the incredible guests we've had because of all of you that watch, that like, that share, that recommend this podcast to your friends, the amazing conversations I've been having, the solo episodes that I've been recording, just thank you for all your love and support because I couldn't do any of it without you and it's amazing to see the growth that we're having and it's unbelievable and so grateful to you all genuinely thank you so much and thank you Rady for doing this with me. Of course. I always like this conversation. They bring so much out. It's such a good conversation or list. You are.

If that's more ahead. It is a win. Ah, thanks. Love you guys. If you love this episode, you will love my interview with Kobe Bryant on how to be strategic and obsessive to find your purpose. Our children have become less imaginative about how to problem solve. Imparencing coaches have become more directive in trying to tell them how to behave versus teaching them how to behave.

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delicious and refreshing drink. So visit drinkjuni.com today to elevate your wellness journey and use code on purpose to receive 15% off your first order. That's drinkjuny.com and make sure you use the code on purpose. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro, host of the Hit Podcast Family Secrets. What happens when the person you idolize turns out to be someone else entirely? And what if you were kidnapped by your own grandparents and left with an endless well of mysteries about yourself and those around you? These are just a few extraordinary puzzles will be exploring in our ninth season of Family Secrets. I hope you'll join me and my astonishing guests for this new season

of Family Secrets. On the i Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you'll get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Womor Madramac, executive producer of the new podcast, Day of My Abolita First. Each week, the incredible Vico Ortiz and fabulous Abolita Lillana Montenegro will play matchmaker for a group of hopeful romantics, right, Vico?

You know it! Listen to Day of My Abolita First. Thursdays on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Apple Podcast, or whatever you get your podcasts. And remember, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Just do it better! Visitos!