On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Jay and His Wife Radhi ON: How To Navigate Relationships During Lockdown and Rebuild Through Difficult Times

Episode Date: February 15, 2021

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.You love On Purpose because it inspires your life. Have you tried Jay’s Genius workshops and meditations to access even deeper well-being? Learn more at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGeniusBoth Jay and Radhi dance to the beat of their own drum, but building a lasting love takes patience and collaboration--even during extreme circumstances.This week, Jay Shetty speaks with his wife, Radhi Devlukia-Shetty, to talk about the challenges and successes of their relationship on this very special 2-year anniversary episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Neum, I'm a journalist, a wanderer, and a bit of a bond-vivant, but mostly a human just trying to figure out what it's all about. And not lost is my new podcast about all those things. It's a travel show where each week I go with a friend to a new place and to really understand it, I try to get invited to a local's house for dinner. Where kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party? It doesn't always work out. Ooh, I have to give that to you. Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

The world of chocolate has been turned upside down. A very unusual situation. You saw the stacks of cash in our office. Chocolate comes from the cacao tree and recently, Variety's cacao, fought to have been lost centuries ago, where we discovered in the Amazon. There is no chocolate on Earth like this. Now some chocolate makers are racing deep into the jungle to find the next game-changing chocolate, and I'm coming along. Okay, that was a very large crack it up.

Listen to the obsessions of wild chocolate on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The one you feed explores how to build a fulfilling life admits the challenges we face. We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear through guidance on emotional resilience, transformational habits, and personal growth. I'm your host, Eric Zimmer, and I speak with experts ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers, offering powerful lessons to apply daily. Create the life you want now. Listen to the one you feed on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your

podcasts. Are you in a toxic negative place, I need to get out of it? Are you looking for better ways to navigate life, career, love, friendship, and more? Then geniuses for you. I do a few free workshops a year for the public, but the majority of the time I'm going live in weekly private genius workshops and meditations. It's been shown that just 90 days of genius workshops and meditations improve happiness by 40%, reduce anxiety by 25%, and increase daily motivation by 75%. It's incredible. But how does it work? Genius lets you access personal coaching with me in three different ways.

You'll meet me inside weekly live coaching workshops and meditations with the group. You'll be able to access hours and hours of personal coaching with me on the Genius app and you'll get to go on Genius Journeys and experience curated workshop sequences that are designed to achieve a specific goal for you. You can sign up at jsheddegenius.com today. I can't wait to welcome you into the Genius community. See you on the inside. community. See you on the inside. Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose and our annual episode with the one and only Radi Devluki Shetty. We do this every single year, the first ever episode on the podcast, on the 14th of February 2019 was Radi. We did our one-year celebration with Radi. And this is now our two-year celebration with Radi. And I'm so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love,

is out. And I cannot wait to share with you. I am so so excited for you to read this book. For you to listen to this book, I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to 8rulesoflove.com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour. Love rules. Go to jsheditour.com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more.

I can't wait to see you this year. The podcast is now officially two years old. Oh my gosh, that's amazing. But also, I thought, number one, you'd keep my seat warm for me. Is it a warm? I mean, and seeing as I'm probably the person that's been on the podcast the most, I thought maybe I'd have some of my favorite snacks here, but I had to bring my own tea, didn't I?

Yeah, this is your house. I had to bring my own tea, didn't I? This is your house, and the snack cupboard is yours, and you do own this place. But it's different if you bring it for me. But I'm so excited to be here. And yeah, I don't know what we're going to speak about, but I'm very excited. Yeah, so rather than I don't plan these, what we do is we ask my team, friends, people we know, people we don't know to come up with questions that we can discuss.

And that's what we're going to do today. We think 2020 was an incredible year for relationships and the challenges it brought with that. So we want to dive in today about how we tried to navigate 2020. And as always, these conversations are completely raw and open and vulnerable, where we're sharing with you our mistakes, the things we got wrong, the things we learned, the things we got right, we're sharing all of it in this conversation,

so I really, really hope that you enjoy this one. As do I. So let's go. What should we start with? The first question that I have from our team is, what do you find hardest about love? Relationship or love, I don't know whether it's like a relationship. I was actually thinking about this this morning when I think about coming and speaking here, speaking here, coming and speaking to you. And I was thinking about how, you know, a lot of the time when you end up feeling annoyed at your partner or irritated in some way or when they really annoy you. And I'm I actually actually made me realize that a lot of the time, you know, they say it ends up being

a reflection of you. When I think about what ends up like when we have our like petty arguments or whatever it is, I feel like it's actually because it hits at a sore point of me realizing that it's my whatever we're arguing about how I'm reacting, it's my weakness. And I know the time that stubbornness. And so I feel like whenever we I think that's quite that that's quite a difficult thing when it comes to relationships or love is that the other person because you spend so much time with them and because you know, they know you better than anybody else, that they end up being a reflection of actually you. So every time you end up having interactions with them that aren't that great, actually a lot of the time you can sit there and be like, maybe that had a

lot more to do with me, how I reacted rather than the other person. But sometimes it's them too. That's a really good answer. That's a really good answer. That's a really good answer. I think that's such a good point. I was, I think what I'm saying is, I agree with that, so I would second that. Did that answer the question? Yeah, I would second that.

And to give another answer, to give a different answer, I also feel the hardest thing in a relationship is, you're always projecting your strengths onto the other person's weaknesses. So you want the other person to be more like you. But when you really think about it, you don't, like you love the other person for not being like you. But when you say things, like I'll give an example

that I'm super organized, disciplined, live by the schedule on time. Yeah, so sometimes in our relationship, I think I've wanted you to be like me and do things like me. And when I've really sat with that and really thought with that, I realized actually I don't want you to be like me because I love you for not being me.

And the things that you bring to this relationship, whether it's spontaneity, whether it's being fresh, whether it's being always alive, like that's the strength. And I think what we do in relationships is we dampen our partner's strengths instead of amplifying them. And what that does is it makes your partner feel like they have to do something different or be something different. But actually, if you amplify their strengths, which is the part you love anyway, you're going to have a much more fulfilling and exciting relationship. So I think that I find that hard because I think we all live in our heads.

Yeah, it's so true. And we think the way we think is the right choice. I'm like, hey, what do you want to do tomorrow? And you're like, well, I kind of have a 9 to 5, like, six schedule ready to go for the next, like, six months. And I'm like, oh, so you don't want to go shopping with me or you don't want to go to, like, get some plans. And yeah, no, I agree.

And I feel like it also helps to try and correct it. In the same way, I think you can also help the other person tighten up on that area of their life too. Like, okay, cool, you may be super organized and I may be not very organized at all, but at the same time, we can find like a good middle ground when we're together. Even though it's a strength in some ways,

every strengthens up being a weakness in some way too. So I think it helps kind of balance it out as well and help the other person notice when they need to probably change a little bit. Absolutely. Okay, second question is, how did your relationship change in 2020? How did I kind of feel like this felt like our first year of marriage because we, well, no, not probably. We have not spent this much time together in a whole entire relationship. And so I kind of feel like, for me, it felt like we were on a honeymoon type feel where we just got married

and we were learning so much more about each other. But then we ended up just really understanding one another and settling into each other a lot better than we probably even have for the past. How many has it been married? Like three years? Four years? We've nearly been married five years. Nearly five years, but it feels like one year

But yeah, no, I think it really made us It really helped us understand each other better It helped us get into a rhythm together, which I don't feel like we ever really had a rhythm together And so I think it's actually changed in most like in I can't think of any ways that has changed in a negative way. I really think that it's improved our relationship through figuring a lot of stuff out, but it's definitely got to a point now where I'm like, oh wow, that whole year was definitely a good jump

or a good step up for us. Yeah, I'd have to say one of my favorite things was, it was the first year where we started doing a lot of physical activity together. Because we always go on like travel together or something like that, but it was the first year we started actually working out and exercising together. So we used to go on hikes up Griffiths Park and then Runean and then we'd go on walks and just so many opportunities to be a nature together because we weren't going to the gym. And then we were doing in-home workouts together with a virtual workout.

And we'd put our playlist on with that song that you told me earlier the other day. Oh yeah, that's the song of 2020 for me. And I just think that we were forced to just spend so much time together, but we actually found ways to do things we enjoyed together. I think we actually realized that we were spending time together in the wrong ways before. Like I feel like that's what it made us realize that

we thought going shopping together, we're going to watch a movie together, was like, and sitting and watching a movie together, were the ways that we would be spending time together. And then we realized that actually, we just really enjoy doing whether it's like normal things, like working out, but it feels so much more fun for us than sitting there and doing something that feel,

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, explain it, but yeah, like something that where we're not talking or we're not interacting and the focus is somewhere else, whereas this, it's like you're completely focused on the activity, completely focused on the other person. And it was just so much more fun to do that stuff together, even if it is just like working out and going for a walk or whatever it is,

but it felt so much more interactive and like, so much more fun. Yeah, and for everyone who's listening and watching, this was the year that, Radhi and I've spent the most actual time together since we've been married. And since we were dating, because I'm always traveling, she's back at home in London sometimes, she's traveling. And for us to be in this space together,

we had to focus on learning about each other even more. So it was a big change for us. And like Radhi said, I think the same. I think it just brought about change for us. And like Radi said, I think the same. I think it just brought about positives for us thankfully. And you know, we grew a lot closer this year. Yeah, and I do think it's also because we, I don't feel like it felt natural, but at the same time it was natural because we were both very aware and intentional of how we were interacting with the other person.

Because of how bad it's gone in the past, I feel like we have been able to use all of those mistakes that we made where we were really trying to figure out a way for it to be better. Like, we both had the intention of making it better, whether it was like quarantine, whether it was COVID, whatever it was, that, like, I feel like we'd gone through so many times where we tried and it may be like, we still won't understand each other. We were like, no, this time we both actually really want to intentionally make an effort to have conversations that we maybe don't have

to resolve things in a way that we don't normally resolve things. And so yeah, I think that's also important, because it wasn't just like, oh, this was nice. It just happened this way. I feel like it was definitely something we thought about and tried as well to do. I'll do a question for you.

What is, okay, for example, you know, in a relationship when one person asks the other person to do something, I always think about this with you because you always, regardless of when I ask you to do something, no matter if you're like, let's say something simple, like we're both sitting watching something and I'm literally like to you, oh, I really want this. And like, I haven't even asked you to do it, but you'll literally get up and you'll go and do it for me. Or like, I'll ask you to go get something and you're like, you won't even flinch. Like, you'll go out of your way to do it. And actually, I was thinking about

it and like, that seems like such a small thing, but I actually feel like it's not because a lot of the time where even if it's with your mum, your dad or whatever, it's like, oh, do I really have to go and get it? Like, can you just go do it yourself? But you, I feel, have generally always been like that. And so I was just going to ask you, because I think it will be helpful for other people too and helpful for me. Like what goes through your mind when, even if I'm being really irritating or being a brat, like what makes you just continually do that without like moaning?

The first thing that goes through my mind is you are such a brat. Yeah. You are closer to that life switch right now. You are closer to the water container right now. Yeah. Why are you asking me to do this? That's the first thing that goes through my mind.

Yes, first. And then my monk mind comes in. And I feel like that's, there's two sides to it. First of all, I know you're not asking me because you're trying to make my life difficult. You're doing it because you want to be loved that way. Yeah. And, and, and I think that when you realize, if you're in a loving, trusting relationship,

you start realizing that your partners requests, even if they seem unreasonable and irrational, a lot of the time, that's just how you want to be loved in that moment. And when you see it in that way, you go, yeah, of course I want to love you in that way, because you're not doing it to hurt me because I know you love me. You're not doing it to upset me.

You're obviously not doing it to irritate me. So then the only reason you could be doing that is because you need some love right now and you need love in that way or you need connection in that way or you need intimacy in that way. And so you're asking for it because it's a request for love. And I think we think of requests for love as like, oh, give me a hug or I need to talk to you. We think of those things. But actually, it's the day-to-day moments in the small things where someone's saying, please love me. Please see me. Please show up for me. Please bring me a snack.

Please bring me a snack. And I think we mistake that language because we think, oh, that person's being so irate. So demanding. So demanding. And maybe they are. And that's something that you have to check for yourself. So if you are that person, Rade, then you have to check for yourself whether it is demanding and stubborn or whether it is a request for love for yourself. But I've made it in my mind that I believe you love me. And so if I believe you love me, then I should believe that this is you asking for love.

And so, but if I didn't believe you love me, and I would be so annoying. They don't be really annoying, yeah. And so it doesn't mean that I don't have that thought. It doesn't mean that I don't get internally frustrated with you for a second. And then straight after that, this kicks in and that walks me through it. And I think when people sometimes say to me like, oh, well, haven't you got it all figured out? I'm like, no, the first thought is never the thought that has it all figured out. The first thought is always, oh gosh, whatever, no, the first thought is never the thought that has it all figured out.

The first thought is always, oh gosh, whatever, whatever, whatever. Yeah. It's the second thought. It's allowed. It's taking that time to have that second thought rather than reacting to the first, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's the other thing that's the question.

That's great. Thank you. I've always wondered that. I have actually. This is what it sounds like inside the box car. I'm journalist and I'm Morton in my podcast, City of the Rails. I plung into the dark world of America's railroads, searching for my daughter Ruby, who ran off to hop train. I'm just like stuck on this train, not where I'm going to end up, and I jump. I'm just like stuck on this train, God knows where I'm gonna end up, and I jump. Following my daughter, I found a secret city of unforgettable characters living outside

society, off the grid and on the edge. I was in love with a lifestyle and the freedom, this community. No one understands who we truly are. The rails made me question everything I knew about motherhood, history, and the thing we call the American Dream. It's the last vestige of American freedom. Everything about it is extreme. You're either going to die,

or you can have this incredible rebirth and really understand who you are. Come with me to find out what waits for us in the city of the Rails. Listen to city of the Rails on the iHeart radio app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts or cityoftherails.com. I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can

cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved by the Tinder swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify

the narcissists in your life. Each week you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to Navigating Narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on I Heart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads.

On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions, so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do

with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Intercosmos with David Eagleman on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. So this question came in from my team. It says, tell me about a time where you think we've made a compromise and how did it work out. I'm going to go first. I know the first thing you're going to say is, I don't believe in compromises and where you think we've made a compromise and how did it work out?

I'm gonna go first. I know the first thing you're gonna say is, I don't believe in compromises in relationships. You know me so well. So that's exactly what I was gonna say. As soon as I hear the word compromise, I have a very interesting relationship with the word compromise.

Because I believe that compromise makes you feel that both of you are giving up something you want for something you both don't want. Which doesn't make any sense to repeat that. Repeat that. Rewind. That's a good point. Go on. Have a have a J.S.A. moment. So, so I have a really interesting relationship with the word compromise. Because I don't understand what compromise means is that you're both giving up something you both want for something both of you don't want. That's what a compromise is. So it feels like one person is getting what

they want and the other person is not getting what they want. That's what a compromise is. Whereas what I have tried to live by in our relationship is I want you to get what you want and I want to get what I want. Now, if that doesn't mesh all the time or if that doesn't connect all the time, then the only thing that's being compromised is this false view that we should always feel the same way about everything. And I think that just makes, that actually makes space for resentment. It

makes space for bitterness. It's almost like, think about this, everyone who's listening and watching, think about this for a moment. Imagine I gave up what I wanted to do all the time to be where I'd rather you wanted me to be. I'm going to be feeling upset. I'm going to be thinking I should be doing this or I could be doing this. And then you develop bitterness towards the other person where you can't even respect and appreciate them. And if you were always dragged to what I'm doing,

you may be thinking, well, I could be doing this or I could be doing that. And what ends up happening is I feel like you actually move closer away by forcing yourself together. You actually end up moving further away. You actually end up moving further away by forcing yourself to be together when actually you could move closer together by allowing yourselves to have that space.

So that's my relationship with the word compromise. That is very true. I agree with what you've said. I know we've spoken about that a few times. And the book was? No, no, no. Together. We've spoken about that a few times together. And I like the way you think I do.

Compromise. Yeah, I never actually... I agree with you. I think we've both given each other... Not given each other, but we've both been very happy for the other person to live freely, to do what they want to do, and without pressure of being like, okay, cool, it's my friend's birthday, for example.

And if you're not that interested in coming or I'm not that interested in coming with you, it's not like, oh my gosh, but you have to come. Like, we're a couple, we can't go places without one, and they're like, we're just like, okay, cool. Like, you don't need to go, and we understand that too. It's like, yeah, it's gonna be boring for you. Like, you don't need to go. And we understand that too. It's like, yeah, it's going to be boring for you. Like, you don't need to come with me.

And we're very good at making it quite clear if something is important to us, whether it's family stuff, whether it's whatever. So, okay, cool, you don't need to come to this family thing, but I would really appreciate it if you could make some time and come here. You know that the person loves you. And so, if you make it explicitly clear,

what's valuable to you, and they still don't feel, and you still don't feel heard by them, then that's one thing. But like, if I know that you love me, and you know what's important to me, I feel like you always know when you need to show up. And if, for example, you have it, and I may not have communicated it to you,

if I tell you afterwards, it's always like, oh, I'm so sorry, I had no idea that's how you felt. And so, yeah, I think it's important one, like letting the other person know what is of value to you and whether it's actually that important. Not being like, oh, come with me and the person says, no, and then you're like, okay, fine. Like, it doesn't have to be like that.

It can be a, oh, but please, I really, I like this is really important to me. If they are saying no, it's not because they're trying to hurt you, it's because they maybe genuinely have something that's more important to go to important to me. If they are saying no, it's not because they're trying to hurt you, it's because they maybe genuinely have something that's more important to go to or to do. Yeah, and I think you're right that you, that's a really good point because you expect the other person to read your mind

and to know why it should be important to you. Yeah, yeah. You don't have that thought, you should know this is important to you. But the truth is that in every relationship, like no one knows until you explain to them and I think in our love relationships and our romantic, even in our friendships, we just expect everyone to fully know what we value.

Yeah, it's like with even with family, for example, just if someone is really close to their family, you expect in your mind that they realize that that's an important thing. But if, for example, that person is not that close to their family, in their mind, it's like, oh, it's my uncle's birthday. Come to my uncle's birthday and you're like, I won't even go to my own, you're not you. But generally, if someone else might be like,

oh, I won't even go to my own uncle's birthday because I'm not that close to them. So I think it's like, you are expecting the other person to live how you live and how you have your relationships or how you value things. And it's an unfair expectation because people have been through so many different things in life for that not to be the case.

Yeah. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Awesome. All right, next question on the list. Next up is we both have such hactic schedules, in life and lots of work going on and all our commitments. How do we find time to spend time alone and time with each other? I can also allow actually have so many, so my family members are always like, but does

he have time to spend with you? Like, do you guys have time, and I was speaking to one of my family friends the other day, and she was just like, are you sure you guys spend time with each other? And I was like, yeah, we're just going to love each other. But I can understand why people may think that. But yeah, I don't feel like we've ever really felt, I feel like even if we've had the moments where we've had months apart, we do make an effort

that when we are together, we've, especially recently within the past year, or two years, which we say two years We've started doing yeah, we've started doing a thing where we make sure that we have at least a weekend That we spend solid together and sometimes that's more time that you spend together Even if you were seeing someone every single day for like a month because it's condensed time. It's it's intentional and it's With the sole purpose to spend time together and communicate and be together in a meaningful way. So yeah, we definitely make that time, but it's also

because we choose to do that. Yeah, I think we both thankfully gravitate towards quality time versus quantity of time, and so we will both be like, well, if we're both tired today, we'd rather not force ourselves to try and spend time together and give each other space or give each other time to decompress. And this weekend, we'll make sure we spend time together, rather than the artificial force of like today, we had to spend time together because we promised or we said we would. And it's like, but maybe we're both not got the right energy right now.

And we haven't got that. We haven't got that presence right now. And so I think it's a mutual understanding. At the same time, I feel like, you know, there've been different parts in our relationship. Like I remember when we lived in New York, we probably didn't spend a lot of quality time together because the only time I had off was the weekends

and I was busy working sometimes too. And you were doing all your courses in your work on the weekends. And so I spent a ton of my weekends alone and you spent a ton of your week days and if you think back, that's literally was the pattern of our life for two years. And then there was travel to London and everywhere else I was going. And I think through all of that, it was always just about savoring those moments. It was about really cherishing and realizing that we were in a building phase. And so I want to address something here, actually, that I think will be really interesting for people is I talk a lot about like the five cycles of life

that we all go through. So we have learn, experiment, perform, struggle, thrive. And so these like different stages you go through every year. And when we were in New York, we were in a build phase of our life. Like we were both building. We just got married. I literally just started my career. You were discovering your building. We just got married. I literally just started my career. You were discovering your career. We were in a build phase. And I think when you expect a lot from your partner, when you're both building, it can be really demanding. But now we're at a stage in our life where certain things we're performing in where I've got a bit of a rhythm and a role. And so I'm able to give more time and you're in this different stage in your life.

And I feel like when you start looking at your life as stages as opposed to like everything I've seen. This is how it's gonna be forever. Yeah, it's like, it can't be that way. And I think there's a great book, there's actually a really good book on this by Gary Chapman.

And I think it's called The Four Seasons of Love or The Four Seasons of Marriage, Relationships. And it talks about how is your relationship right now in the season of summer, winter, spring, or autumn? Now, when I think about this, I think that we always want our relationship to be in summer in the sense that it's hard. It's passionate, it's cool. It's like, everything's good about summer, right?

We all look forward to summer. But maybe your relationship at a point in life right now as this book says that your relationship might be in winter. It's going for a dark period, a cold period where you just got to stick it out together. When I think about New York, yeah, when I think about us in New York, it was a bit of winter in spring. I mean, in autumn's like where you got to let go

and you got to shed. And I think about when we first started dating, there were moments where in spring, in autumn's like where you got to let go and you got to shed. And I think about when we first started dating, there were moments where our relationship was in autumn. Yeah. Where we were just letting things go and purging and removing energy. So I just, I think that books are great model

and that reflection that I've had for a while that your life goes through stages and seasons and stop trying to make every day and every week summer. Yeah, I really love that. That's so cool. This is an interesting question. What film or TV show do you think offers the best example of a healthy relationship? Oh my gosh, that's such a good question. I automatically in my mind go to, this is us, this is my favorite shows ever.

I've never seen it. You've never seen it, but it's so good and we love Chrissy, our good friend. Love Chrissy, but there are actually really lovely examples of couples who like make it through stuff in that, whether it's like the main couple, I'm sure, to be honest, most people have probably seen it, you're just the odd one now. But yeah, the main mom and dad, and then there's Sterling, what's his name? Sterling, Brown Sterling, the actor? Yeah, probably.

Yeah, I think that's something Sterling or Sterling something you'll know who I mean. But their relationship is amazing because they go through so many ups and downs, but they're so good at communication. And I feel like that's a very good show To show very different types of relationships even Chrisie's relationship with her partner her husband on the show They're also different in relationships and the way they communicate, but they show very good

Yeah, very very realistic and useful relationships, I feel. I love that show. It's so good. I actually struggle with this question because I think, hey, I don't watch a lot of TV shows, but I do watch a lot of movies. And I think growing up,

I had a really unhealthy view of love because of movies. It's so true. So I grew up watching Bollywood movies a lot. And I remember thinking that that's what love had to look like. Yeah, like a flower comes up in the middle when two people are about to kiss. That's what they do in Bollywood. Or like you're all dancing around

and like there's all this. In a field. There's all this. Hoppies. Yeah, and like music's playing when you fall in love with yourself. And then running towards you in slow motion and my head naturally falls like this. And you're coming towards me.

And then it cuts because they don't show anything else in bodywood films back in the days. And so, so that's what you, I grew up with unhealthy projections of love. And the thing that comes to mind when I am thinking about this, apart from the last dance of my Gordredan documentary, which doesn't show marriage, but shows like love in a team and camaraderie

and collaboration, I'll try and find a bit more of a, I actually think the happy place, the good place. Sorry, the good place. So good. The good place. I think that Kristen Bell's character, Elanoa and her relationship with Chidi, like the way it shows relationship dynamics

is really interesting about like what is it shows relationship dynamics is really interesting about like what is a good relationship, what is support, what is friendship, like I think it answers a lot of deeper questions. Yeah, I just thought it's such a good show. It's such a great show. I'm enjoying it so much and we came to it late but we're loving it. And I just think it has so many good messages. So I'd have to go with that.

Okay, cool. This is us and happy place. Yeah. No, is it? The good place. Good place. Yeah I'd have to go with that. Okay, cool. This is us and happy place. Yeah. No, is it? The good place. Good place. Yeah, I call it the happy place. Yeah, yeah.

And yeah, and I'm going back to what the show is I grew up and I grew up on the OC and desperate housewives. Oh, yeah. Yeah, both not good. Good example. No. Relationship ideas and friends you grew up on, which again, which again, I wouldn't say it's like the best relationship stuff. It's just comedy

and yeah, movies mess you up. Okay, this is an interesting question. Have you ever experienced doubt in our relationship and how do you express doubt? Excuse me, sorry. Chat lagged. Did you just use your own on the podcast? Am I boring you that much? No, I- This is my life, guys. I have waking up extremely early and so this is nearing me bedtime.

No, have my experience doubt. I'm trying to think, I'm sure I did right at the beginning and then like you know, just before you're getting married and like everything's like a bit confusing and there's just so much going on because I'm wedding and then you're like, oh my gosh, I have to get married in this part. I didn't know.

I didn't know. I want to know. I think probably just I guess just at the beginning when everything was so up in the air because like, you know, as I'm sure in most cultures, but in our cultures, like the man should have a job and the man should be the breadwinner. And like, you should have, no, it's not true. And he should have everything figured out before you get into a relationship with that person, like everything should already be set

before you even think about marriage. And we really didn't have that. And so I think probably at the beginning, but I was so lucky because my mom and dad really were just so okay, that I naturally feel doubts can come into your mind when other people get in your mind. But I think I was quite sure, I felt like straight away, I knew I had a connection with you, I knew that your values and the person that

you were, I just knew we would be able to grow so deeply together. And that's really what I was focusing on. And then I was so lucky that the rest of everything has fell into place. But, and I'm so grateful for that. But I knew that the core thing that I wanted in the relationship was there for us to grow deeper in our spiritual lives together. And that was the main focus for me.

And then, yeah, and then we started having fun. I was like, oh, he is fun. Like, he's just not just like a teacher and like, just so deep, but you also were so fun. And all the things that I maybe hadn't thought about was important to me slowly start coming. I was like, oh, that is really important to me. Gosh, I didn't realize at the beginning that that's what I wanted. But yes, the doubt was definitely, um, was definitely like, taken away by me constantly going back to the fact that I wanted to be in that relationship with you for that reason. And yeah. Yeah. That's a good honest answer. Yeah. I think, I think my only doubt was always,

and it's funny because it's so hard to express this, because I remember it was really funny when your family had mentioned this to you, and it was like, are you sure he's not gonna run back and be a monk? Yeah, oh yeah. And it's so interesting because my only doubt in our relationship previously, not anymore,

had ever been that should I have been alone. So my dad was never like you or another person or if you were the right person, it's always been, it's either you or me being alone. And I think that comes from me loving being alone and spending so much time alone. And I think there was a part in our relationship where because I was spending long periods on my own, I always considered that and I had that consideration of like, oh, is this what I'm meant to be doing? Like, should I have done this?

Like, and I think a bit about it, my doubt came from a, came from a bit of sadness that I was like, oh, am I taking her away from her family? Am I taking her away from her dreams? Am I taking, like, that was where my doubt of, should I have been alone came from was, oh no, maybe I'm like, for my pursuing of my purpose, which I'm really dedicated to.

Totally, yeah. Am I taking her away? That was where my doubt came from. Am I so selfish that maybe I should be doing my purpose alone? Why should I drag someone else on my journey? And I actually think in the beginning, I probably felt that way too. Like I, I probably, when we went to New York, it definitely felt like compromising because

I felt like the only thing I really had at that time in my life that I truly valued and felt I was very concrete in was my family and that's what my whole life revolved around. And so I guess at the beginning, because I hadn't matured in my thoughts of what this relationship was, I did feel like that. And I remember in my mind, I felt like, well, we have to go back for my family to do this, because you've taken me away anyway.

Like, you've taken me to New York. And so now we have to do this because I want to do this. So we have to, like, you need to do this for me because we've done this for you. But I definitely, now looking back, I realize actually it was all so much more for, like, so I don't feel that way at all anymore, but I can, yeah, I can really, I probably had those feelings a little bit at the beginning that you're probably feeling from me. No, it's good. I think these are great conversations to have. And what's interesting about these conversations though is that sometimes you don't have them in the moment. Yeah. But that,

but that can, if you don't monitor that well, that could end up breaking something. Definitely. And we're lucky that it didn't. I feel like it could have that. If, if I hadn't, if, if I then didn't choose to like figure out what was going on with me and I was projecting that all on you and making it feel like it was, the issue was our relationship or the issue was you, but really it was me having a lack of awareness of myself that I had to do that.

Otherwise, I think I would have constantly kept blaming on that and constantly felt that way. And I have so much admiration for you and respect for you because of that, because I think that it's so easy. I was always trying to compensate and help in whatever I could, but I feel like you doing that

is what's made our relationship so strong, is that you've just really worked hard on the last few years of finding yourself, discovering yourself, working. And you've tried a lot of things, right? Yeah. It's not been easy, and I feel like I found my thing when I was 18 and you've been doing it for 15 years. And it's funny for me to think that because a lot of people online are like, oh, Jay, you've only been doing this online for like three or four years

and I've been doing this for 15 years. But for you, I've watched you since we've met, which was, you know, sorry, since we've been together, which is what nearly eight years now. And I've been doing this for 15 years. And I've been doing this for 15 years. And I've been doing this for 15 years. But for you, I've watched you since we've met, which was, you know, sorry, since we've been together, which is what, nearly eight years now.

Yeah. And I've seen you like try this, try that experiment with this. And actually it's been really amazing. Why don't you tell people about how you feel, your journey's been of discovering your real passion because I think people see you now and you've got your amazing YouTube channel and your Instagram page. And yes, you've always had this energy that everyone loves you for and that I fell in love with you for.

But the way you're expressing it now has definitely evolved. Yeah, definitely. To be honest, I feel like I had no idea what I was doing till, till beginning of all like, what March, last year. until beginning of all like, what, March, last year, when all of this started happening and it was the first time I had to literally sit there and be like, crap, I have no excuse of, oh, I can't do this because Jay, I have to go with Jay traveling.

Like, I can't start my own thing because, you know, I'm never really in the country and it's really difficult. I just wanna focus on what Jay has and I just just there to support him. And I realized as much as that was true and I did want to do that, it was probably a big covering for me not wanting to actually figure out what I wanted to do because everything just felt so scary

to start something. And yeah, it just kind of stripped all of that away where I was like, no, I have to fill my days with something that feels meaningful and figure out what that is to me and how that looks to me. And so I just started and yeah, I definitely tried so many different ways and different things, whether it was like, I made a website during that time and you know, it's not the best website, but it's like the website that I started off with and I put so much effort into it, I did like 100 recipes within what a couple of

months because I really focused on it. And it just showed me because I was such a person that I would start something in as soon as I felt a little bit overwhelming or even felt like it was getting good or succeeding in some way. I'd be like, oh my gosh, that means I have to take another step forward. And everyone's like, I want to do that. Okay, let's just shut it down and go somewhere else and do something else.

And I realized that pattern that I had. And so I was really determined to not do that with this because I almost like get in my own way of being a failure, in my mind being a failure because I choose to not take the next step, not because anything else comes in my way, but because the fear of the next step would always scare me, scare me enough to not take the next step, not because anything else comes in my way, but because the fear of the next step would always scare me, scare me enough to not want to take it.

And so it was really amazing, actually, I was just looking at myself from an outside perspective and I was like, oh my gosh, I never, ever thought she could do this. I never thought I could do that. I never thought I would actually still be making recipes. I thought it was like something I'd do for a month and then get bored and be like, eh, come bother to keep adding on to this website anymore. But yeah, and then I decided to try my YouTube thing, which oh my gosh, took so long to actually start because of fear again, pushing me away from it. But I just, I mean, you've always been so amazing

and supportive in that constantly. Like, you see everything happening for me before I even dream about it. And I think it's just been so nice because whenever I've had doubts, you've been so amazing at helping me through them practically, where it's either it's in like a supportive way of just love, but a lot of the time it's really taking the time to have the conversations with me. And I avoid the conversations.

And you're like, OK, what do you need to do next? Like, what is it? I'm like, I don't want to talk about it right now. I haven't figured it out and I just don't want to speak about it, but you constantly would help like push me through because you saw that I was coming from a place of fear not because I actually didn't want to. And I think that's really important too. It's like, I know with a lot of your stuff, like 99% of the time, you don't necessarily need to speak to me about it, but there are certain times that you do want to discuss things. And vice versa, I obviously need you to input in a lot more of my stuff

because I feel like you've done a lot of the things that I've done and I really appreciate your advice for it. But I think there is so much of the support being in so many different ways throughout the times that I needed it. And yeah, I just, I didn't know how I did, how I got here, but I'm really happy that I did it.

I'm so happy because I never expected myself to be able to do that ever. And I just genuinely feel for anybody else that's listening to this, that I was like, that's where my spontaneity that can be a strength and ended up being something that was such a weakness for me in the areas where I wanted to commit to something. And yeah, I just, I honest, and I'm not just saying this, genuinely, if I can do it, ask

my mom, she would tell you, if I can do it, I 100% know that other people can't, whatever it is that you love doing, just try it out. And yeah, if I can do it, oh my gosh, you all can definitely do it. But enough about me. What I genuinely love about the way you're doing it though is that even though you have become more organized and disciplined and focused to figure this out, you haven't lost who you are. And I think that's the hardest part. And I love seeing that in you. Like, each and every video, the amount of effort you put in, I know the amount of effort that goes behind the scenes

when you're about to launch a video, and your nerves and your excitement. And you just want to make everything so wonderful for everyone. And I love that. I love that, even though you've become organized and focused and disciplined, and all those things that you've had to learn that you haven't lost yourself in it,

because I think that's possible too. So I love watching it and it makes me really happy. And what you were just saying at the end, you know, there's an old relationship rule of like, don't keep the score. And it's been said for many, many years of like, don't keep score in a relationship. But often score feels like, oh, I did this favor. What did someone else do? And what I've realized is that score should not be kept energetically.

And so what I mean by that is, I really feel that you carry the relationship sometimes emotionally and so I may be carrying it mentally, but you're carrying it emotionally. And so if you're only looking at the mental score, I'll be going like, oh, well, I'm doing everything. Why are you not doing anything mentally? Like you're not planning.

You're not setting goals. You're not doing this. But that's because I'm only measuring it on my scorecard. And I think it's so important to be like, well, there are so many different scorecards. There's physical, financial, mental, emotional, spiritual. There are five scorecards. Yeah. First of all, there shouldn, financial, mental, emotional spiritual. There are five scorecards. Yeah.

First of all, there shouldn't be a scorecard. No, but I know you mean. But I'm saying there's five types of offering in a relationship and you only ever looking at the one you give. It's also useful to think of it in that way. Like you're saying there's not scorecards, but I think it's useful because I think naturally

we all have tendencies to want to be the hero or like want to be the person that, like, oh, but I've done this and I've done that. And so actually looking at it in that way allows you to see where your strength is in your school club, but then realize hopefully where the other person is also contributing. So I think, yeah. But yeah, that's really a good way of putting it. I've never thought of it in that way.

Yeah, no, I've thought about that so many times. I think whenever I've been in that position of like, no, I've thought about that so many times. I think whenever I've been in that position of like, oh, I'm doing so much for this relationship. And I do, there are times when I feel like I'm like, oh, I'm doing this and then you just stop and you're like, that's just stupid. Yeah. There are so many levels you carry the relationship

to. And I encourage everyone to do that with their partner is just really look at like, where are you carrying the relationship and where are they carrying the relationship? And I promise you that someone in your relationship is carrying something. And if they're not carrying anything, then sure, that's not a great relationship. But I think there are so many relationships where we miss what someone's doing. I think that really stops you from, and actually, I didn't think of it in that way, but whenever

I do think about when I'm irritated at't think of it in that way, but whenever I do think about when I'm irritated at something or when I feel that way, thinking about it in your way, and sometimes I have thought about it in that way, it makes you really not be selfish. Like, a lot of the times, if you feel that way, you can end up stopping yourself from continuing to do that, or continuing to be the person carrying this section. But I think when you think of it as these other four areas that other person may be helping in or carrying, it stops you from limiting yourself

in what you can give and realizing that actually, I could be giving everything in this category, and that's okay, because he's giving everything in this category, and I don't wonder that category, so I'm good for him to handle that. And so, yeah, I think, like, one of those just reminds me of all the, this stuff I always get, even when I put up cooking stuff or I'll get DM just being like, you know,

does Jay have a cook for you? Does Jay do this for you? And I'm like, no, and it doesn't irritate me at all because I don't like doing finance stuff. Like, it may be such a cliche of like, how, you know, I like being in the kitchen, but it's out of choice. Like, I love being in the kitchen. It's not because you're a woman. It's not because I'm a woman. That's what I mean. It's your how, you know, I like being in the kitchen, but it's out of choice. Like I love being in the kitchen.

It's not because you're a woman. It's not because I'm a woman. That's what I mean. It's your passion, that's what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like sometimes when you, there's been times when I remember it like some days I'll be like someone was, you'll be like,

oh, someone's come to a house and you're like, yeah, and this is her work area. And some people don't even know what I'm doing. And I'm like, are we best love, bad? Yeah, I always, I always show people my office, which is where we are now. Yeah. And then when we get in kitchen, I always say, and this is Rade's office and we both laugh about it. Yeah, I always show people my office, which is where we are now. Yeah.

And then when we get in kitchen, I always say, and this is Rade's office, and I don't mean it in a condescending or sexist way at all. It's actually her office. Yeah. That's where you experiment, that's where you get recipes. And yeah, exactly. All right, a couple more questions.

Go on then. This is a good one. When are you most scared to be vulnerable with your partner? When are you most scared to be vulnerable? Like when are you scared of being really honest and open? I'm thinking. Good questions, Peeps. Yeah, really good questions. I forget to tell you, you look really cute. Thanks, said you. Wonderful. When do I feel most? When do I feel scared of being vulnerable? To be vulnerable with your partner. Um.

Go on. No, like sometimes when, you know, like if I'm supposed, if like you've already given me advice on something, and then like I'm kind of asking for like again, and I'm like really confused about something again. And you're really nice about it. But sometimes I feel like it's, I know you're going to tell me something that I don't necessarily want to hear because you've already told me before and don't necessarily want you to give me the answer because I know you're right. That makes me really annoyed.

So sometimes I don't feel like being vulnerable about how I'm feeling because I know the answer you're going to give and that I don't want to hear it. So what do I need to be to help you be more vulnerable? No, I think it's more me. No, seriously. No, no, I think it is. It's very much so just me. It's me just wanting to be stubborn and don't want it to be right.

I'm not allowed to say it. That's the thing. You're not allowed to say it. I'm not allowed to say Radhi's reflect. That's what I feel most vulnerable. I'm not allowed to repeat something she said. No. That makes me look good. I'm trying to think. I think the time I feel most vulnerable is like when I spend a lot of money on something like if I've just bought like a really expensive suit or something. Oh you don't want to tell me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly, yeah. I'm just bought an expensive suit for like in a war zone money. Because he knows he's got a good you wife. Yeah, so I get scared of being like yeah this time I was a suit cause I'm wearing a suit. And what do I always say? I'm like that's like it's for your work. Yeah. Every time I be in everything.

Yeah, you're a nice man. In my mind I was like it's for your work. It work. Every time, every time. In my mind, I was like, it's feel work, it's fine. No, you're nice about it. I think it's a silly thing just because of upbringing. Yeah, totally. It's not you. It's not you at all. Or like when you want to play PlayStation and you pretend like it's like a work meeting with your partner.

And really, and really you just want to play station together, but you're like, it's for work. And I'm like, mm-hmm. Yeah, it's just because you want to play another one. You're giving way too many. Well, as well as giving up. OK, so we're on to the final two segments, which is fill in the blank and final five.

OK, are you ready? I'm ready. I feel most supported by my partner when. He brings me snacks when I don't even ask for them. That never happens to those in the... I know, that's why I just don't feel it right now. No, I feel most, that's my answer. You go.

I feel most supported by my partner when. I bring you cut up fruit. No, I mean, that's a fun one, yeah. But when... He likes his fruit cut up when he's eating it. Like a little baby because his mum used to do it for him when he was younger. And when he goes back every single time, his mum cuts his fruit up into a little bowl. And he has a little assortment of fruit bowl every day.

And he's like, you know, I really love it when my fruits cut up. So that's what I've been doing, cutting up fruit midday, halfway through my work day. I haven't had it today, too, you know, lately, I'm sitting there cutting up fruit for this king over here. Cut up fruit makes him, makes him support to feel support. My honest answer was going to be when my partner's present with me, like when I feel like you're really fully present. Okay. I'm cut a different commitment means. Oh, you're really crying.

I'm like, you put me in there. You're not crying. J. Shetty exposed. Commitment means. Commitment means. Like, showing up in different ways for one another when the time is right. That's a nice one. Knowing when it's your time to show up and knowing when is there time to show up?

Commitment means mutual love, boundaries, agreements, connection. Like when it's mutually created, like you create a plan together, you create boundaries together, you create expectations together, that's what commitment means. And then you honor those totally Okay, this one conflict can bring conflict can bring Deeper love I was gonna say something like that. No you weren't I was no you weren't you chose boxing

Conflict and bring boxing conflict can bring Really good like makeup meals. Like whenever we make up, we can be like, oh, let's go forget some like, cocoa bella cream or ice cream. Is that really what happened? That's why we haven't had it for so long because we haven't had to make up. We haven't really had many fights lately. Let's pick one now. So then we can.

So then we can have cocoa beCola. Okay. Continue. Okay. Final five. So these are one word or one sentence on it. Yeah, stop giving me such long answers. What's one thing you recently discovered about yourself that surprised you? That I can commit to things and just maintain it. That I'm, that I actually enjoy it. I always knew this, but I guess I forgot it. I love exercising with sport. I just need to play more sport. I need to stop forcing myself so that.

Lovely. Okay. What about our relationship makes you feel powerful? There are both on the same page, like a lot of the time. I'm like, oh, I like this. And you're like, oh, meet you. I'm like, oh, I like this. And you're like, oh, me too. I'm like, oh, okay, like even if small or big things, like we are very much so on the same page.

And even if we're not, we're both kind of okay with coming to an agreement that we both like, that's mine. Cool, my answer is you always trust me when the chips are down. You trust me even when things are not working out. Yeah. Externally, that makes me feel really confident and down. You trust me even when things are not working out externally. I, that makes me feel really confident and strong. I'm glad.

Okay. Just don't use my chips. You're wearing it. Ha ha. Ha ha. Okay. Uh, what do you think our relationship will be like by our 50th anniversary? Oh, Lord.

I didn't choose this. What do I think the better question is, how will we celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary? My mind is that with my family, with our family, we'd have a really nice 50th celebration with the whole family all together on holiday somewhere. Sounds great. That's my answer. That's great. Kids would be like, just us to on a beach with a tennis court and cut fruit. I haven't had it today. Alright, two last questions. What about your partner? Have you grown to love that you initially disliked?

That I initially disliked. I got me through anything. You go first. No, I can't think of many things I just like. I'm me through anything. Good. You go first. No, I can't think of many things I just, I'm just trying to think of what I'm, what I now like about you. I think it was your lack of organization or whatever. Like, initially that really irked me,

and then now I'm just like, but that's what lets you be spontaneous. Like, that's what lets your ever freshness come out. And if you became all of that thing, then you can't, you know, not saying that you can't be organized, like you are organized now and you have become, that I mean And if you became all of that thing, then you can't, you know, not saying that you can't be organized like you are organized now and you have become that I mean, if you became a, an organizational rigid beast, then you lose that, you lose part of that. So I think mine for you is probably just like your general way of thinking was not something

that I was used to. That's true. That's a good one. That's a really good one. Whether it was the quality versus quantity amount of time, because I was used to. That's true. That's a good one. That's a really good one. Whether it was the quality versus quantity amount of time, because I was not used to that, whether it was, yeah, you were just generally thinking where I used to be like, oh, well, maybe I don't want to do that, but then I realized actually is a really good way of thinking. And even though it used to like scare me to think like that, because I felt like I was getting rid of a lot of my old habits and ways of thinking, now I've actually become quite fond of it. Okay.

Next. I love that. Okay, fifth and final question of the whole interview. What's the funniest thing that's happened to both of you? The funniest thing that's ever happened to both of us. Mm. I was gonna say. I was gonna say.

That. Go on. What were you gonna say? A few weeks or months ago ago Someone put us up on this Incentive page called sibling revelry and What this page does is that it puts up pictures of siblings or couples and asks people to go whether they're siblings or Or couples and so they posted a picture of us and I think 60% said siblings and 40% said couple probably 40% who know who we are

And it's really funny because all the awkward pictures on that page Oh siblings. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's yeah, that's probably one of the funniest things that's I think that was a good good laugh that was good laugh I can think of another one too. Go on. I remember when we were traveling to someone's birthday or something when we first started dating and we got lost in the middle of it. That's why I was gonna say, no way, really. That's literally where I went back to.

No, I was thinking of when we were, oh yeah, that's where it was. We were going somewhere and it was a countryside. And then somehow we remember we drove into like a barn or like field area and I was so scared. And that was the first time that I was in a very scary situation with you. And it was the time I realized, like, how you will always be and always have been sins,

that like, come, my dad has always been this person for me. So it was so cool because you literally took on that role of like, you were so calm, you're so kind, even when you're scared. Like, even when I was like, even if my dad was so scared, he would never ever show he was scared and he'd always have me like, I would never feel scared because he was never scared and you literally had I got a glimpse of that with you And I'll say oh my gosh, I was so scared. I know, but you did so good that day. So yeah, that was funny. Funny now not funny then Yeah, yeah, and that's it everyone Quick five

Done final five final five As always, thank you all so much. Thanks so much for all the amazing questions. Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching Make sure you go and subscribe to Raddy's YouTube channel follow her on Instagram Please do second buggy and love you. Yeah go and check out all her new videos She's posting every single week and they're the most fun. She's my favorite YouTuber. I have her on, you know, turn the little notifications on. And, Raddy, thank you for always being our annual special guest. Next time I think I expect some sort of a prize.

Okay. Or a gift. Cool. Or a trophy. Okay. Or snacks. Okay. I think one of the above.

Okay. But yes, thank you. It was so wonderful. And we really thought the questions were great. Yeah, I really enjoyed this one. I think we went really deep with, we talked about doubts, we talked about insecurities, vulnerability,

fruit. Okay. All right, that's it guys. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. See you soon. Next time on J. Shetty on-purpose podcast. Hey guys, this is Jay again. Just a few more quick things before you leave.

I know we try to focus on the good every day and I want to make that easier for you. Would you like to get a short email from me every week that gives you an extra dose of positivity? Weekly wisdom is my newsletter where I jot down whatever's on my mind that I think may uplift your week. Basically little bits of goodness that are going to improve your well-being. The short newsletter is all about growth and sending positivity straight to your inbox. Read it with a cup of tea, forward it to a friend and let these words brighten your day. To sign up, just go to jshatty.me and drop your email in the pop-up. If you have trouble finding it, just scroll to the very bottom of the page, and you'll

see the sign up. Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy my weekly wisdom newsletter. This podcast was produced by Dust Light Productions. Our executive producer from Dust Light is Misha Yusuf, our senior producer is Julianna Bradley, our associate producer is Jacqueline Castillo, Valentino Rivera is our engineer, our music is from Blue Dot Sessions and special thanks to Rachel Garcia, the Dust light development and operations coordinator. you you you