On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Jay and His Wife Radhi Talk About Challenges, Growth, and Prioritizing Love

Episode Date: February 14, 2020

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.Happy 1 Year Anniversary to On Purpose with Jay Shetty! One year ago Radhi and Jay Shetty released the first episode of On Purpose. In this episode, they get together on camera again to talk about the past year and answer frequently asked questions from Jay’s audience.Watch the video to learn what they love doing together, how Radhi conquered her fear of being on camera, and so much more in this episode of On Purpose. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177👉 Get Jay’s Best Podcast Collection 👇https://jayshetty.me/bestpodcasts See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Munga Shatekler and it turns out astrology is way more widespread than any of us want to believe. You can find it in major league baseball, international banks, kpop groups, even the White House. But just when I thought I had a handle on this subject, something completely unbelievable happened to me and my whole view on astrology changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, give me a few minutes because I think your ideas are about to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your

podcasts. I'm Eva Longoria. And I'm Maite Gomes-Rachon. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast, Hungry for History! On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home. Listen to Hungry for History on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Wherever you get your podcasts. When my daughter went off to hop trains, I was terrified I'd never see her again, so I followed her into the train yard. This is what it sounds like inside the box-top. And into the city of the rails, there I found a surprising world, so brutal and beautiful, that it changed me. But the rails do that to everyone. There is another world out there, and if you want to play with the devil, you're going to find them there in the rail yard. Undenail Morton, come with me to find out what waits for us and the city of the rails.

Listen to City of the Rails, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or cityoftherails.com. You've got to be open to the fact that the person's becoming different. Yeah. And you've got to want to be able to fall in love with a new person rather than trying to keep them the same. Exactly.

Rather than being like, oh, wait a minute, you won't like this one, I married you. Yeah. You will like this. Hey everyone, welcome back to a very special anniversary episode of On Purpose. That's right, this is our one anniversary, our first birthday as an on purpose community and family. And I want to take this opportunity to just say thank you to each and every one of you. It means so much to me.

I'm so grateful that you keep coming back every single week and so many of you have been with us here for a whole entire year. And I'm so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love, is out and I cannot wait to share with you. I am so, so excited for you to read this book. For you to listen to this book, I read the audiobook share with you. I am so, so excited for you to read this book. For you to listen to this book, I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to eight rulesoflove.com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go of love.

So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour. Love rules. Go to jsheddytour.com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences and more. I can't wait to see you this year. And for this very special Valentine's Day, one year anniversary birthday episode, I've brought back your favorite guest and my favorite guest,

none other than my wife, Rady, Devlukia, Shetty. Now, she was pretty hot to book, I had to work around her schedule and she had a long journey for her to get here. So, let's welcome Rady. Hey. Thanks for this. It's a big bag. And I have so good to have you back.

Thank you for doing this. Of course. I'm really excited. I love having you on the podcast and the audience loved having you as well You were our number one episode in the heart. And I believe that yeah in the whole last 12 months Are you not gonna do a little dance for that? Yeah, okay But it was so nice because we got to talk about our relationship for the first time together We got to talk about the relationship for the first time together. We got to talk about the challenges we've been through, what we've learned from, and everything that we've grown through together in the last nearly four years now that we've been married.

I can't believe it's been only a year though. It feels like we've had so much going on since that last episode. Yeah, and then we're going to update everyone who's listening. Yeah. We've got so many more things to talk about. So what we're going to do in this episode is we've had my team, our friends, and a group of other people come up with a list of themes and topics and questions that you and they'd like us to answer.

So I'll be going through those rather than it being just a Q&A, and we'll both be answering these questions for you as well. Let's do it. You're excited? Yeah, I'm excited to hear what the questions are. Okay, so I wanted to do this. This was actually something that people wanted us to talk about, which I think is a good place to start. So actually last year, when you did this, I think you'd only ever done one interview before. Yep. And when we did this interview, I remember it was massively outside your comfort zone.

Yeah. And I feel like just watching you over the last 12 months, it's been amazing to just see you become more naturally confident, more happy being yourself, even on camera, because then we get to show everyone what I see every day behind the scenes, everyone gets to see it for real. Yeah. And but I just feel like it was such a big, this podcast last year was such a big step out of your comfort zone.

It was, I remember being so nervous before it. And even though it was you, and I've been speaking to you every single day, and I think just when you're in front of a camera, it ends up feeling a little bit scary. But I just love that we got to have such an extra conversation. And it was, yeah, it was really sweet. Nice to share it with everyone. Yeah. And then literally a few months after, and this is one of your talking points that you want us to talk about, was our red table talk experience.

So I'm getting ready, I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to wear and what's going on. And then, shall I tell this one? Yeah, you got me. Okay. And then Radee says, she's like, so what should I wear? Right? Very good question, normal question.

I think I was cooking. Yeah, I was cooking. I was like making something. I think I was cooking. I was cooking. I was making something. And then I was running really, really late. And I was like, oh, what should I wear? You know, what should I wear? What should I wear right now? And you want to go? It doesn't matter, because you're not

going to be on camera just wear anything that you want. Just be comfortable wherever you want. So I had like five seconds to get ready. So I threw on a t-shirt and and jeans and then you tell the rest. And so, no, no, but she skipped a detail, she's being nice to me. I literally said to her, I was like, I was just like, where are anything? Like, it doesn't matter what you were, you know, you're not even going to be on camera. Yeah.

Right? That's it to what I said to her, because it was meant to be an interview with me. And it was one of those moments that you lived to regret as a husband and a partner, because I was literally like, yeah, it doesn't matter where you were like, where are you thinking for a comfortable in, you know, I'm even gonna be on camera. Next thing you know, we get out of the car when we get there, we're both on camera from the moment we get out. Jada turns up to greet us and welcome us

and just makes us feel so comfortable and welcomed and happy and she's sitting with both of us. And literally after five minutes, her and her team are like, we think Rather should be on the episode as well. And the only thing I can think of is, why did I say that? Why did I say that? Why did I say that?

And then they're like, Rady, would you feel comfortable doing it? How did that feel for you? It's like, a few months before you'd been on my podcast with me and that was a big step out of your company. Yeah. Literally, I think it was like two months later on this, or maybe three months later,

but how did that feel for you? Well, when she asked me, there was already cameras around us. So I was like, I can't really say no. And I think I was just scared because I also, you know, when you need to mentally prepare for something. And I take, I feel like I take a lot to mentally prepare for things that I'm doing or like going on. And so, yeah, as soon as she asked me,

I literally just felt like my whole body go into immense anxiety. And I come up with, I think I said no, okay. Within like this space of two seconds. But it was such a good experience because it really pushed me to do stuff that I would have never ever, like if they'd asked me separately, I would have would have never ever like if they'd asked me separately I would have probably said no like if I

they'd asked me beforehand and I had even time to think about it I would have probably said no just because of my anxiety about it but it was so nice to be kind of pushed and like completely shoved out of my comfort zone because then when I watch it back I was like God I didn't even don't even like I have no recollection of that moment that I was on there I don't know what I was like, God, I didn't even, don't even, like I have no recollection of that moment that I was on there. I don't know what I was saying. I feel like I wasn't even very present at that time because I was so nervous, but it really taught me like afterwards.

And I was thinking back, I was like, it's actually really so nice to be able to share things that you've learned and be part of something so special. And so yeah, it was a really good experience for me. Very, but good. And there was the part where, so I went on first and we'd been having a conversation around an hour and then they bring Radi to the table and that's

when you were like, I could see you behind the scenes and tell us a bit about it. I was like pacing back and forth. I think I've never been so like my whole hands are like so sweaty. I was like, so I can't even describe that. I don't think I've been that anxious or nervous for a very long time. And then as soon as they said it's time for you to go on, I just had to completely drop, smile, and walk on as if I was completely okay. So, but no, it was again, like such a great experience.

And they make it so easy, because they make it so, they make you feel so comfortable when you're sitting with them. So, yeah, it's great. So what we're gonna do, as I said before, is we're gonna go through these topics. So that was one of the themes and topics that people wanted to hear about. Here are a few more that I want to check out

that we wanna dive into. Hit me. Let's start with this one. So this one was after the honeymoon phase ends, how do you keep your attraction level high for each other and your relationship moving forward? Oh. It's a good question. Yeah.

When does honeymoon period end? Like what do people say that normally is? I don't know. I guess for most people it's like six months, a year. Into marriage or into a relationship. I think into a relationship, but I think it also can happen in marriage too, I guess, because I guess like, I think when you're getting married,

like it's such a fun moment, right? It's like, so we know dating, we know that in dating, six to 12 months, but then when you get married, it's like, you have all your family, you have all these events, and then you have this big high, and then you get married,

and obviously for us, after we got married, we moved in together and everything else that came from that. So I guess, let's talk about marriage because I guess that's what we're, that's more reason for us. I feel like for us, we had to make a really conscious effort to go above and beyond for the other person and really understand how the other person likes to have fun and how the other person really likes to express their emotions. So then we try and facilitate our time together in a way that it allows us to

both do that. I remember we went to a football match for you, a soccer match. It was in the US, it was that LA Galaxy Stadium and we left it half time. That's all right, you could do. Which is now good because now you go with people who enjoy that with you. Yeah and I think that's part of it. I actually like going to watch football or basketball. It's like, Rady likes basketball. You're not going to watch basketball together, but if I'm going to watch football, it's like, I also want to watch it with someone who's going to get into it with me and get excited and be motivated. And so I don't feel like, oh, she doesn't want to go with me. So then she doesn't care about what I care about,

because it's the same way as I wouldn't want to go to something particularly that maybe I'm not interested in, whatever that is, even though I seem to go with you to get pedicures and manicures. We pretty loves that. He loves a good fit massage, loves a good pedicure. You like getting groomed. We both love spots, that works well.

But we found that we liked doing experiences together and she's right, we went to, this is more my kind of experience, but this last Christmas we went to Disney World. Oh yeah. And I've been wanting to go to Disney World for like ages. I haven't been to Disney World. He is a big kid.

Like he absolutely, I think for three, four, I can't even remember how many months before, six months. It's probably like six months. He's been so excited to go to Disneyland and to Universal. And every single week, he would probably mention it about his excitement for it. And I think just through your excitement,

I got excited about it. So we ended up at Disneyland World in Orlando and Universal and it was just, I was epic. Like it was amazing. I loved it. It was so good. Especially at Christmas. Yeah, what I love about it is the experience that those places create and a feeling. And because I'm a creator and a content creator and I'm always like, how can I create experiences

that make people feel certain things and make people you know just how do you create something that makes people feel something and makes them feel excited and makes them feel passion and all of that and I feel like they do it with such ease and Rade actually fell unwell just before we went I mean when we got there and she she soldiered through. Like she was the sweetest person ever because I knew that, A, it was more for me than it was for her, but she does get into it too. And second of all, she felt unwell

and she got pretty unwell at that time, but she soldiered through and she was just... You've been waiting for this for six months and imagine I was like, I'm just gonna stay here and I'm gonna watch a film and just get a bit better now. There was like, I could not do that to him.

You could have. I could have, I didn't want to. Yeah. I really appreciate it. Yeah. Push through. Yeah. I love that. So what do you think? How do we do the extent? How do we keep excitement like throw it after honeymoon period? I think experiences are the big one. Yeah. Like really prioritizing experiences. We're not just like, oh, we'll find, you know, I don't think you can make a traction or chemistry or compatibility. I don't think you can take any of that for granted. I think that's a big one.

For men, get your hair cut regularly, get your beard trimmed. That definitely helps. He really, really believes that he's got a new hair. I don't know whether you guys have noticed, but he's changed his hairstyle. And he genuinely thinks that his hairstyle has changed

the way that I look at him. It works, guys. If you, the men's group of Instagram. Like he genuinely believes it. Jason, you are the man. I love you. You're amazing. Do you tell the story way too much? It's a good story. I know you love it. It's the truth. But no, I mean, okay, let's get to it. So the experience is a big one. I think getting to know each other more and more as months go on and how we're changing as well, I think that makes a difference because you're never gonna be the same person you were a year ago.

And if we're not watching each other grow and watching each other mold into different people and observing that, then actually that can also be something that you can lose this spark because actually we change so much and so you're kind of falling in love with a different person regularly if you're paying attention, which I think that's quite cool. Yeah, and I think that's a really good point actually that you've got to be open to the fact that the person's becoming different. Yeah. And you've got to want to be able to

fall in love with a new person rather than trying to keep them the same. Exactly. Rather than being like, oh, wait a minute, you weren't like this when I married you. Yeah. You were like this. Or, you were less like this when I married you. And now you've changed. Or all of that kind of language that after comes in relationships. Like, I feel like we are actually very different people.

Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah, for sure. Like, I think you really ground me. You sent to me. You remind me of what's really important, you are more energetic than me. Interfer ways. Yeah, and just like I feel like we're actually very different and people will be like,

well how do you, but we have the same deeper values like our spiritual values are the same. But also not just our spiritual values, I feel like we both are able, I feel this is it, I feel like we're both able to love each other for who we are, rather than who we want the other person to become for us. Yeah, for sure. And I think we we've kind of had that from the beginning or at least for most of our relationship, we established that. And I think it was good because we did those like those rules of things that we knew we didn't want to change about ourselves or that we really felt were important to each other. But yeah, no, I agree. I think that's a really good point. Okay, let's take the next one. The next one is when your partner is fully committed

to a priority or project and you're feeling unseen, how do you help yourself? to a priority or project and you're feeling unseen. How do you help yourself? Ooh, what's that film where they go? I see you. I don't know. Anybody know? Isn't that just like, don't we just do that? No, no, it's like a couple of things where they're like,

I see you, which means like, you know, I love you. Okay. Anyway, if you know, then comment below and tell us. I feel like a really, really good at balancing. Like, he has a really, really crazy schedule. Like, I don't think I've seen anybody with a crazier schedule than him. And the way that he's able to really balance his work,

but then still always prioritise me. Like, I never feel like I'm not a priority. And I think it's, I mean, I don't know whether we spoke about this in the last one about quantity, we did it in about quality over quantity. But he really lives that and he's like that with everybody around him. And so like, you get a good, he's so focused, so attentive. So even in the time that we do spend together, even if he has a crazy like week, two weeks

a month, or if I do, then the time that we are actually able to spend together, you're so attentive and focused. And actually, if I ever need your, anything needs to like, I need you to do anything for me, or if something's urgent for me, or if you just feel that my emotions are even changing or I'm feeling like a little bit sad or anything, like you're always a there attentive to pick up on it and you always change everything around to just be there for me in those times. And so I feel like, I can't really say that I feel like I've been unseen by you.

I think we've learned how to pick up on each other's emotions and know when to show up for the other person, which I feel like maybe we didn't have at the beginning of our marriage, but I think that we've really learned to understand that from one another. And it's definitely changed the way that we feel loved by one another now. I just miss her every day. Like this year she was in London for like a long time. Yeah, a month. She was with her family, she was with the restaurant she's been working on.

She was got, we didn't spend time together I, over a period of, I'd probably say like, they're like six weeks, we didn't actually properly see each other. Yeah, probably. We weren't not, no, probably like six weeks that we didn't see each other. We weren't in the same country for a lot of that. I was in LA and she was in London.

And on top of that, we weren't talking all the time, but with Rade, she's really good at sending me voice notes, which are hilarious sending me funny selfies, which I absolutely love like getting I just Pulling like the funniest faces ever and then her trying to call me as much as she can and that's how I am Under same way like I don't feel like we've set rules about when we are apart We just get on with stuff so like the way I deal with it, if she's busy with the project is, I book out my whole schedule, whether that's spending time with myself, which I really enjoy. And I think that's a really important one that when I know she's busy and

she's really focused and she can't like be on a phone call all the time or talking and time difference, for me it's like that's my time alone. Like that's an opportunity for me to really invest in my relationship with myself and how I feel and what I'm doing for myself. So this year I started playing more tennis. I started prioritizing my exercise. I started spending more time at the gym.

Like, I was just thinking about like, what can I do to invest in myself during this time? I was spending more time with friends. I was catching up with people I haven't seen in a long time. And it's not that she's not available for a phone call or a talk tour or a message, it's not that, it's just, hey, here's my time to spend a bit of quality time with myself.

And I think that's such an important thing. And I know you do it as well when I'm traveling to work and stuff. And I think we've both built that independence app. And at the same time, then I was just so excited to see her, I couldn't wait for the day she was coming back. And I remember that hug that we had when you, the day you came back. It was just like, I was so happy to have you back. And so I actually loved that feeling of missing her. And I also loved that feeling of having time to really invest in my relationship

with myself. And how about when you like to have you ever felt a time when you felt unseen by me? No. I think we had talked about that last year like when they were time, but not in the past 12 months. Yeah, I think we've really learned to detect when each other need. Yeah, I think last year we talked about a lot of the times when we've made that mistake by thinking the last 12 months. Yeah. All right, let's do the next one. Okay.

So what would you say annoys you the most about your partner? I'm going to go, because it's easy. Okay, come on. Okay, so for me, it is my charges and my tech. Oh my gosh, like what? Look, so, so, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, God, carry on. I have charges placed in every key location in the home. I have one by my bed, I have one by my study, I have one in the corner of where the TV is. Like I just have charges everywhere

because I use my phone a lot. I'm in lots of different locations, I have one in the car. And so I like to be able to charge it. I don't like to be moving around. So then charges stay where they are. Often I will find charges have moved locations, charges are no longer in those locations. My mom's gonna get well happy with this

because I do this to her when I go home as well and she says the same thing to me. Yeah, charges are missing. So what I decided to do because the worst thing is, when I noticed this and I'm like, Rody, that's my charger, she's like, no, it's not. She's like, no, I bought this. Like I'm like, no, that is my charger

and she was like, no, no, no, no, I did. Just to be clear, iPhone charges all look the same. So, so I went a step further and got a different colored cable. So I was like, this is it, right? Like I've got this bright pink cable. Like there's no chance that she bought the same. I thought you bought it for me. No, yeah, exactly.

And then that happens with that too. So that is probably the most annoying thing. I do see the annoyance come out fiercely when he can't find the charger. The last night. Yeah, the last night I was sleeping and he was like, buddy, where's my charger? I was like, it's in my bag.

Why is it in your bag? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so that's probably my number one thing. I'm trying to think about this stuff, but that's definitely. I'm Munga Ishya Tikular, and to be honest, I don't believe in astrology, but from the moment I was born, it's been a part of my life. In India, it's like smoking.

You might not smoke, but you're going to get secondhand astrology. And lately, I've been wondering if the universe has been trying to tell me to stop running and pay attention. Because maybe there is magic in the stars, if you're willing to look for it. So I rounded up some friends and we dove in and let me tell you, it got weird fast. Tantric curses, major league baseball teams,

canceled marriages, K-pop. But just what I thought I had to handle on this sweet and curious show about astrology, my whole world can crash down. Situation doesn't look good. There is risk too far. And my whole view on astrology? It changed.

Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, I think your ideas are going to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive and the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast in each bite-sized daily episode. Time management and productivity expert Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning

new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to before breakfast on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. In the 1680s, a feisty opera singer burned down a nunnery and stole away with her secret lover. In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom, with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans. What do these stories have in common? They're all about real women who were left out of your history books. If you're tired of missing out, check out the Womanica podcast, a daily women's history

podcast highlighting women you may not have heard of, but definitely should know about. I'm your host Jenny Kaplan, and for me, diving into these stories is the best part of my day. I learned something new about women from around the world and leafyling amazed, inspired, and sometimes shocked. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's the thing that annoys me about you?

Hmm. Oh, I know. Well, I don't know whether this is actually a thing that... You told my my shoes last time, Zooka. No, I'm not talking about shoes. The one thing that annoys me is that, oh, because he has this really annoying photographic, weird memory where he can actually remember every single thing. And so even if I'm right, and even if I know I did something,

because I know he's got this memory, I then question myself. Because I know for a fact like something has happened, and I say that, Tim, or I know I did something because I know he's got this memory, I then question myself because I know for a fact like something has happened and I say that Tim or I know I've told him something But because I know how good his memory and how like weird his brain is I Then question myself because I'm like he does have that like he does know how to remember every single thing that someone possibly says So then I question my my memory abilities because of your genius brain. Let's not know. So yeah, let's do this bit and wait. Five almonds a day, guys.

My mom trained me. Five almonds a day. Apparently, I have a headache remedy. Is it? No. But almonds do have that quality, yeah. Really? Yeah, that means to be good for brain power.

What are the nuts a good for brain power? Walnuts, that's where they shape like a brain. Did you know that? Yeah. You taught me that. Oh, yeah. All nuts really nuts and C's they have really good Good ingredients that I'm into good for brain power. Okay. Yeah. All right next question is What something your partner has said to you that really hurt you but served as a valuable lesson? really hurt you, but served as a valuable lesson. Oh, I know what mine is. You always tell me that I don't know how to like

utilize my time well, which didn't hurt, which no, in like in like a, in a good way though, in terms of like, I never said that to you. No, you do. As in not, not in a bad way, but you always say that I need to learn how to, you know, use my time in a way that's efficient, because I know I don't like, I'm a big procrastinator.

It's never come like in a rude way from me. It's when I've been talking about what I'm struggling with, whether it's to do with things that I want to get done or how I feel like time just gets away from me and a whole day goes by and I feel like I've hardly got anything done and I have this really bad habit of just either procrastinating or not knowing how to prioritize things. And so I'll end up having a list of to-do. And I'll end up doing everything that's completely not on my list, like reorganizing a kitchen cupboard instead of what's actually on my list of things to do. So you get, you talk about this a lot, it wasn't just that line, but when you tell me that about myself, I know

it's definitely true because it hits home. So, I don't think you... We don't really... I feel like we don't often... We have never been in a situation where we don't feel to what we say to each other, like, even if we're really upset with one another, or even if we're angry or whatever it is, I don't feel like we burst out words that we don't mean.

Yeah, I don't think we've ever really done that. I don't think we've been so harsh with our words in arguments or when we fill upset with one another. Yeah, I just feel like with that type of stuff, you have to be careful about that with your partner because you've got to look at this person like every night before you get a bed, you have to see them every morning when you wake up.

And if you say stuff you don't mean too often, either it becomes real, or that person feels like just like a joke has an element of truth. Even if you say something you don't mean, that's extreme, there's still an element of truth. And now that person has that with them. And I know one thing that I used to say

that I stopped saying in our relationship was, for one thing that I used to say that I stopped saying in our relationship was for a long time I used to say things like, oh, you know, like we don't, I don't, I can live without you if I needed to. Oh, yeah. And I used to see that as a sign of strength to say that. And that came from me just being detached and, you know, being independent. But then I should have to see like that type of language in a relationship. But I never said it in a mean way or an extreme way,

but just that statement, what those words actually mean, you end up pushing your partner away. And so you're gonna be so careful with your words that you say to your partner, because if you're saying something just to get a reaction out of them or you're saying something to, it's like being 16 again, you know, like when you would, when you say something to your friend,

just to get a reaction out of them. But you can't live like that with your partner because you're just with them so much of the day that you would be so intentional and focused on how you speak to people. So yeah, what's the one that you, so what's my thing? What would you, what's something your partner said to you that really hurt you, but served as a valuable lesson? I don't think you've ever said anything hurtful to me. But what about when I said I didn't like your hair?

There are, okay, yeah, I mean, there are times when like I've worked really hard on something. Okay. Okay, yeah, this is it. Okay, go ahead, tell me. I've worked really hard on something like a video or I've been on a photo shoot or we have a lot of those in my mind.

Oh yeah, we have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. Oh yeah, we have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind.

We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind.

We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. We have a lot of those in my mind. And even there are sometimes now where like my ego gets her or where my emotions get her But then I'm like actually I'm so lucky that I have someone who's so honest and that's become a valuable lesson for me because If she wasn't like that and she just said yes Yes, yes to everything I did then I would never know whether if I was doing something was good or not

Whereas I know now if I show her a video and She's like I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that Then I'm like oh at least she cares to be honest with me rather than just be like, oh yeah, that's the best video I've ever seen. And then we put it up and then no one likes it. And so for me, I've learned to value her honesty. And she's just raw something, like she'll struggle

and that's terrible, right? But it's in a loving way because it's out of care ultimately in terms of getting the right thing. So for me, I think that's the one. That's the one it is for me. So I actually value rather being honest with me as opposed to either lying to me or just saying yes for the sake of it or just to make me feel better. So that's mine.

Okay. Fair. Yeah. I agree. I do do that. All right. Okay. So here we go.

What's the next one? Okay. How do you decide what you guys show to the public and what you keep private? Good question. We've been talking to you about this a lot, haven't I? I find I get asked a lot why I don't share like so much of mine and Jay's relationship on my page

whether it's like pictures or whatever it is. And I find like you're so sweet and you're so expressive on your page, and I feel you're like that, whether it's with me or whether it's with your friends or whoever comes on your podcast, like you genuinely want to show appreciation and love on your page, and I think that's such a wonderful thing. But I think it's really good for people to know

that there can be different types of people in relationships. And so that is him, and that's how likes to express himself, along with being so expressive in person, that's how he is. Whereas for me, I just, I don't know, there's a part of me that just likes keeping that to ourself, but also I find generally, and especially for women, a lot of like post online of people who look very, very happy together and you know, that have a lot of like post online of people who look very, very happy together and you know that have a lot of relationship posts, it can actually agitate a lot of people who are

feeling quite sad about that area of their life. And unfortunately that is really prominent in society at the moment, like a lot of people are really upset in their relationships or not dating and finding it really difficult. And so I often try and just avoid posting things that I think might just agitate people in that way, especially because love is the one thing that people are searching for so much. And so I do post things, and I do post fun stuff with us,

but I like to leave some of the stuff for just us to, for me to be able to say to you privately, and yeah, not online. Yeah. That's just, yeah, not online. Yeah. That's just how I feel. And I feel it's sometimes I've actually felt like, oh, maybe I should write a really sweet post online and say to him and I'm like, oh, but maybe I just want to write in his card and then I write it all out.

And then I just delete it and I write what I actually feel like writing, which is something just sweet, light, and just relax rather than having that emotional outpour online, which I find a bit difficult to do. So yeah. And I think that's like, it's okay to be both people and I think there's a beauty in what how you are online and how you express yourself. But I feel like I just want to protect that part of me a little bit and not have that have that so much out there. Yeah. And I think for me, for me, I'm always thinking about like, what can I share with you that's gonna be useful to you. So if you're listening or watching right now,

I wanna make sure that anything I'm sharing in our relationship is actually helpful to you, is useful to you, is real for you as well. Like why are we doing this conversation? Because we get to talk about what goes wrong, what we don't like about each other, what doesn't work or not what we don't like about each other, but what annoys each other. You know, all of the things that we're talking about already right now, what doesn't work or not what we don't like about each other, but what noise each other

You know all of the things that we're talking about already right now to me. I want you to see that I want you to hear that because I want you to hear that people can be different people kind of different opinions They can have different priorities, but they can still love each other and they can still be together And so for me sometimes the reason why I share those messages is just because I'm like this may be relevant to someone out there And that's why we did last year's podcast. That's why we're doing this one. Because I'm hoping when you hear it, you'll be like, oh, wait a minute,

that's me and my boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, whatever it is, that's me and my friend. I want you to hear that and recognize that you can work through this stuff that with work, with effort, you can actually get there. So yeah, that's how I decide what I'm gonna share. Okay, next one. Have you ever felt pressurized by your partner in any way? I have to be honest and say no with this one. In the sense that I feel like you've been really great at coaching me through my growth in areas that you're more advanced. So when it comes

to health, Radee is far more health conscious in what she eats and her exercise routine. And it's beautiful for her wellness and how she sees wellness as this whole something. And she's been that way since we've been together. And I have always focused on my mental health, but not as much on my physical health. And I've never felt forced by Radi or pressurized by her to become someone I'm not when it comes to my physical health. I've always felt coached and guided by her. So I remember when we first moved to LA,

she was the one like looking for a personal trainer for me because she was like, I know that, you know, I told her that that was the only way I would be able to get into that rhythm and so she was doing that research for me And then when it comes to my food She's always making sure that whatever she cooks is right and even though she loves spicy food because spicy food is not good for me She makes sure that the food she cooks for both of us is not spicy and so I've always felt like very Encouraged and now that I'm at'm feeling like the best I've felt ever, it's like I feel so happy about that

because I feel like I did it in my own time. I did it for myself. And I have a practice and ways of doing it that are right for me. And often when things are pressurized, it's very much like, well, this is how I do it. This is how you should do it. And this is what you need to do. Whereas for me, it's very much like, well, this is how I do it. This is how you should do it. And this is what you need to do.

Whereas for me, it's like, I'm doing it for myself. I found my way of doing it, and I did it in my time. And to me, having someone, especially your partner who wants you to be healthy, but not doing it in a way that makes you feel bad about yourself. Like, at one point, I was probably eating too much sugar or eating too much chocolate, whatever it was. And Ruddy never made me feel bad about it, but you would educate

me as to why it could be better. And I feel like being educated in that way is a much smarter way of helping your partner actually grow. Emily, did you know that that grown early you're eating is the same as... That is literally what you're eating. The same amount of sugar in this as this. And you'd be like, oh my gosh, I had no idea. Yeah, it's so much about education.

I think with pressure, actually one thing that I thought of when I had that question was, I also don't feel like you've ever pressured me. And one of the main things for me was when we actually met, you just, you know, you were recently a monk before that. And so in my eyes, I was like, oh my gosh, and I was just kind of starting my meditation practice at that time.

And so for me, it was, yeah, I always thought, oh my gosh, am I gonna feel really, really pressured by the knowledge that he has and by the way that his meditation practice must be so deep and powerful. And all of that, you know, I thought I would feel that way, but actually you would just such a wonderful guide and teacher in allowing me to explore myself, because just like you said, I don't feel like anybody will want, anybody is going to feel happy about doing something that they're pressured into and also just the

conviction with which someone wants to do something. If it's done out of pressure, actually, it's not going to be that much. And so they're not going to want to stick to it anyway. And so, yeah, I felt like that was such a beautiful journey that I went through by observing how you were in your day-to-day life and then how your meditation practice and how your spiritual journey is what took you to become that person. And so for me, that was the greatest motivation for me to continue my journey in it. Without you saying anything or making me feel a certain way about it. And again, the other thing I think of is how, yeah, anything that I wanted to do or I've said I wanted to do, you've always given me advice on it and always given

me the best advice that I could have asked for. But yeah, you've never forced me to do the things that you've told me that I should be doing. Like, if you've given me advice, yeah, you're not regimental about it. Like, you've given me advice on so many different things and a lot of the times I haven't taken the advice. Or I've heard it, but I haven't been able to put it into practice. But you just really allow me to find that journey myself and you're always there to support me, which is what I think a partner should be like in that way. But you don't, yeah, you don't get annoyed if I don't do it and you don't pressure me into doing it if I'm not ready for it. So, yes, no, I don't feel pressured by you. Except for when you don't want to eat sugar and I want to

eat like chocolate creak and I scream and you're like, I'm like, you sugar right now, then I feel sad. And a little bit pressured to also have can sugar right now. Then I feel sad. And a little bit pressured to also have to not have sugar. Which died from you. I know which died from you, but I like having sugar sometimes. He's like all on nothing. So that's another thing. Like about our characters which are so different, I can have a small bit of like chocolate every day

or like a small amount of something every day and I will be fine. I will never have to finish it. I can just have the small amount be very happy. Hey, if we're having sugar, it'll be like, we're going to the ice cream place, Coca-Cola Creamery, the best vegan ice cream place ever. So we'll go there and he'll be like, okay, could I please have a chocolate fudge ice cream with triple or quadruple chocolate sauce, triple chocolate chips, triple sprinkles. That's a good tip.

A chocolate brownie that's heated up. And basically, he has the same amount of sugar for like a month that he should in like one day. Well, remember the my order. I know his order. That's exactly my order. We went there the other day and they were like, oh, you've got 600 points. Which he got all by, like, was away. I've saved them. I'm saving them.

One day I want to walk in there and use all my points, like feed everyone. But yeah, no, so he's at all on, I think, whereas I feel like I'm quite like, I will have a little often, but you're really good. Like, when he says no to having something, we will go anywhere and there'll be like, the most incredible stuff around us to eat and you'll just be like, no, I'll have fruit. I'll find a share of my cake with

me. I think we've also felt it with ambition. In this sense, I feel like I've always been really driven. Since I remember in my teenagers, I've always been really driven, I've always been really focused and motivated and inspired and I've always been really driven. I've always been really focused and motivated and inspired. And I've always been ambitious in chasing my dreams whatever they may be. And when we met, I was very clear about that as well. That's what I was. But I feel like I work harder on my purpose now than I ever had.

So in one sense, I've changed a lot since we met. Because when we met, I still wasn't working as hard as I am now on my purpose, but I've never felt the pressure to slow down from you, or I've never felt the pressure to have to detach from those dreams or disconnect from those dreams. And I think that really helps me because I'm not worried about feeling like I'm letting her down because she doesn't let me, she doesn't make me feel that way because she doesn't feel that way, I feel. I think I've been asked this before

because of the speed that you work at and how focused you are, whether that makes me feel pressured into being that way. And I actually, I feel like that never really happens. I feel like I watch you do it and I'm so amazed by it and in awe of it. But I feel like I still work at the same speed. I'm just chilling along and doing things

at my own pace, but I think that also shows that I never feel you're putting that on to me. It's always just you doing me new and I get to do me at the same time, but we can just kind of work on parallel. This is greatness. Okay, awesome.

Let's do the next subject that's over here. The next one is... Give us a fun one. What can only your partner do that really makes you feel loved and special? I mean, that's more you than you rather than fun. What do you do that makes me feel really special? Yeah, I loved and special. Loved and special.

So I say, what you say to me? What, I don't know. So basically, I don't know where this came from. I'm going to share this because it's really funny. I don't know where this came from. But one day he came and he whispered in my ear. I was like, while I was sleeping, which also could have been a bit creepy.

But he came whispered in my ear. He was like, you are loved. You have been a bit creepy. But he came with me and he was like, you are loved, you are cherished, you are, you know, is it? You are loved, you are cared for, you are cherished like a little cherub. Ha ha ha. So, and then since then, I know he says a joke, but really he feels like, it actually makes it feel a bit cute, like I like it.

So since then, every time I feel like I'm getting stressed out or he sees me getting a bit worked up like if I'm quicking in the kitchen for like 50 people. I'll come up to me hug me and say you are loved, you are cared for, you are cherished like a little cherub. So that makes me feel kind of cared for and loved. And what else do you do that I feel loved in cared for? Just every day, he day, like I've said this before, but it's just an ongoing thing with him. Like, he's just always very loving and caring on a daily basis that there's never really

a need for like special gestures or like crazy stuff because I feel like it's just stable and he's just always, I always feel supported and loved in care for by him because that's just how he is. I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved bomb by the Tinder swindler.

The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify the narcissists in your life. Each week you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships.

Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty, and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, everything that has happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it. Kobe Bryant.

The results don't really matter. It's the figuring out that matters. Kevin Haw. It's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to create change. Louren's Hamilton. That's for me been taking that moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself because I think for a long time I wasn't kind to myself. And many, many more. If you're attached to knowing you don't have a capacity to learn. On this podcast you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives

so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on-purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to before breakfast on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, for me, we talked about this last year

where we talked about like love languages and things like that. But it's interesting how even the love languages are so much deeper than just the way they're spoken about So I was always a gift person growing up which I spoke about last year but We both live a life where we both don't live for gifts anymore like if I want something I buy it for myself because I need at that time I'd rather want something she buys it so we don't give each other gifts at all anymore as in physical objects or gifts Because we know that if we want

something we'll get it for ourselves or we don't really have a need for a lot of stuff. Like we don't have a lot of things in that way in our life I feel. But for me, the biggest one has been the way Rady has understood my love language in the deepest ways. So in the last two years, and we spoke of one of them last year, but Radhia's thrown me two of the biggest surprise parties. I have. And one was for my birthday, which was when we first moved to LA. But last year, it was after my live show.

Yeah. And so I want to talk about this for a moment because it was so important. So I did my first ever live show in LA. Nearly 2,000 of you showed up. It was packed, it was at the eighth theater. My team and I had worked for six weeks to prepare this incredible show

that we were absolutely so proud of and in love with to put on stage. I'd been practicing with my team for like eight hours, nine hours a day for a week beforehand. And then you're on stage, I was on stage for about two and a half hours. We had this incredible show. People traveled from like Japan and Australia and London and from all over the world. And people really had this phenomenal experience.

And then you experience something really unique. So just think about that for a moment. You've got, you've put all this effort in a building this thing, you then experience it with thousands of people and then you're grabbing your bags, you're grabbing your clothes and you're getting into the back of an Uber on your own. It's like, it's like one of the weirdest experiences ever where you go from this real height, then almost being in completely the opposite scenario. And on my way home, I was thinking, I was thinking, I was like, wow, now I realize so many of the people I coach, so many people I work with,

so many people I know who live these much more extreme highs than I do. Like they have like 80,000 people, 100,000 people in, you know, their audiences or whatever. And then all of a sudden, they're spending time alone without that buzz and rush. And I was thinking, there are so many people that get dissatisfied by not having that all the time and feel lost and confused. And I was thinking that the most important people in my life and I was like, well, I'm going back to my wife who loves me and that's such a fulfilling feeling.

And I was like, I have friends, but anyway, I'm going home. And when I get home, I walk through the door and there's like, everyone I care about is in that room. Literally, all my closest friends are at my house. There's this big surprise. Rady has always cooked like this incredible meal. She's got like these amazing balloons that spell out J. S. Live. She's got this amazing chocolate cake. And it was just like this really fulfilling feeling that I'm so fortunate to have an incredible group

of people around me that love me, that really care for me, that are gonna stay at my house till midnight on a work night to celebrate my day with me that I've done this event. And Radees just figured out a way of giving me the gifts that I can't buy myself. And I think that's what a gift really is. Whether it's an object, whether it's a thing, whether it's an experience, a real gift is giving someone something they can't give themselves.

And I, you can't organize a surprise party for yourself. You can't organize a party for yourself or you tell all your friends to come and surprise you if you know it's happening. And she's really figured out the depth of the lung, the love language of the definition of gift in my gift in my opinion. But don't be expecting this like every year. I'm expecting every year now. It's happened the last two years. I'm, I'm like, does it always happen around November? On a, something about November. Honestly, it's happened the last two years. I'm like, does it? Always happens around November. On a subject about November. On a subject about November, it gives a bit of time. I cannot explain how much I dislike

organizing surprise birthday. But you do that really well, like you're really good at it. Yeah, because I've done like two for you now. Look, if you want to hire me to throw your girlfriend, boyfriend's, or your own surprise party, then I'm available and I have all the contacts because I've done it twice for him now. and I have all the contacts because I've done it twice for him now and it took all the energy that I could possibly imagine that I had.

They were amazing. Thank you. But, you know, that was also like for me going out on my comfort zone to do something I know that he would have been really happy about because I'm not an organized person and I find those things really difficult and stressful, but it was definitely worth it because you came in and you were actually so surprised. I thought you knew, but all I made all of his friends and asked like all rushed out of the event like a cool PC later on, but tired, I'm gonna get sped. And then everybody waited here for a wee long time for you to come back.

A lot of them, everyone who waited. And it was really sweet. It's really, it's perfect. Thank you so much. And that's one of the things, actually, I want to talk about that for a moment. This is that when we first moved to LA from New York, literally everyone who heard that we were moving would say to us, you know what people are like in LA. Yeah, that's so true. Like, you know that everyone in LA is superficial. You know, everyone in LA doesn't really care. And we heard that so much.

And I've always had this rule in life for myself that no matter what I hear from someone about something someone or anywhere, I won't trust it or base my opinion on it until I've experienced it myself. And I've always had that rule. So if someone tells me this is an amazing holiday destination until I've been to that place, I will not agree with that. If someone tells me this person is not

nice or is nice, I will not agree or disagree with that until I've met and experienced that person and also actually spend time with them, not just spend time with them and elevate or something like that, like actually spend quality time with them. And so for me, I was like, well, if you think that about LA or loads of people think that about LA, I'm not going to let that define LA for me. I'm going to define LA for myself. And I have to be completely honest, like we have met some of our closest, deepest friends. And so many of you I know listening and watching right now. Some of our deepest and closest friends we found

and made in LA. Definitely. And I know Raddy feels that. That's what she feels at home here. I know I feel that. That's what I feel at home here. You know who you are. And that's such a special thing that these stereotypes

and these broad generalizations we make about people or places are not true. They become what you want them to be. And I really feel in our life that LA has been such a beautiful place for both of us to find our purpose and create our purpose and live our purpose. And you can't really define a place, you can't just say that a place has a reputation or anything like that because you find the people where they are. So for me, the people I've met here and the friends I've made here have just been absolutely incredible. And for me, what we've really tried to do, and I think this is important too, is we've tried to build the conscious spiritual community that we

want. So rather than expecting that what you want should exist anyway, why not create yourself? So we started hosting these events at our home last year. We did two of them. We're doing another one coming up soon. We invite our friends to them and there's spiritual events, community events that we used to have in London.

And in New York a little bit, but definitely in London. And we wanted our friends to experience meditation in the way we meditate. We wanted our friends to experience wisdom from the people that we learn from. And so we started organizing these events and now they're not parties in the same way. Like we don't have any alcohol at these events. Like no one's getting, you know, it's not it's not that kind of an event It's it's an event where people feel that they can connect with themselves a place where people feel they can connect with Their consciousness and have a deeper experience and that was the experience we wanted to offer our friends.

And thankfully our friends love that kind of stuff. So it's worked out. But I just think it's so important that we don't expect things in a place, but you go and create for yourself. Yeah, look. Cool. All right. OK.

Next one that is on the list, what are some telltale signs that your partner is upset? Yeah, he's pretty obvious. If he's mad, he'll sound mad. If he's sad, he'll sound sad. I'm pretty. If he needs chocolate, he'll sound like he needs chocolate. Yeah, I feel like you're kind of just... If he's upset, I'll just be like, look, like I need to tell you, this is upset me. Or, yeah, you're like that, right? I kind of think of the last time you were upset. Oh, yesterday night when he was mad about his charges, I knew he was mad.

I had it in his voice. Yeah, I don't think we're very hidden with it. I think I'm probably a little bit more hidden than you are about it. You're not as good as quiet. Yeah, go quiet. Or I'll see her on the balcony cry. Yes, literally, literally that.

I just see her outside, obviously she wakes up early and then it's all wake up and she's outside and I just see her too. I cry sometimes during my meditations in the morning, it's like my time and then suddenly I'll realize I'm sad about something and then I'll just start crying and then he catches me at that time. Or yeah, my quietness, I need to,

we speak about this last time but I need time to process. But you also tell me when you're sad about something. Yeah, so I'm not gonna be like, I, we speak about the self-scent, but I need time to process. So, but you also tell me when you're sad about some. Yeah, some of them be like, I'm sad. It's not about you. Yeah. But I'm sad. That's also very. This happened a lot. This is a little note because I get so, you know, I think we're all in one sense. We're also self-centred that we always feel like people are sad because of something we did. Like it's a self-centred ego trick where like, if if she said, it must be something I did,

even though I know I didn't do anything wrong. And so they're not, but her telling me, I'm sad, but it's nothing to do with you. It's like, you know, it's actually a useful technique in relationship. I'm really irritated right now, and I don't know why. I've done this a lot.

If I'm really irritated, I don't know why, but I just want you to know that I'm feeling that way. So, it's really, it's really useful. Yeah, it's just really useful to communicate that to your partner rather than expecting them. Like no one's a mind reader. Like no one is a mind reader. I think one of the biggest challenges in relation to this, you just expect the other person to know what you're thinking. Yeah. Awesome. Cool. All right. That was a quick one. Cool. Okay. This one is.

Do you still try to impress each other? Yeah, probably. I feel like it's just like a subconscious thing that you do, where it's unconscious, subconscious, one of the consciousness. It's something conscious. Think that you do, whether it's your outfit or whether it's something you've done or made or if I've cooked something. I think this was always an element of wanting the other person to approve or to like it. I think that's natural. Yeah. I like it too.

Yeah, definitely. Like, if I'm wearing something or I've achieved something or whatever it may be, like, yeah, I love that. And I think it's an important thing to have. Like, I don't want to. I think you should feel like that, right? Yeah. It's like, if an impress in the sense of it's not about getting the other person's validation.

You want your partner to like, be excited. I'm not letting you, because I for you recognize you and I love that feeling. Like, I don't, and I think if I didn't feel that way about her, then you're going to find other people to impress. And you're going to want to impress other people. Yeah. And so I feel like it's an important quality to have. And I feel like you lose the energy in the spark if you

Stop trying to do that to each other because that's how you were when you first met Mm-hmm That's what you try to do when you first met and if you stop doing that it's yeah, it's just it's not about validation That's not the ego one. It's about Knowing that you love someone and always like I know you're the other person excited when you're excited to yeah, yeah All right, cool next you know, I didn't know no, okay, let's go Knowing that you love someone and always like I know you're the other person excited when you're excited to yeah, yeah All right cool next you know anything. Oh, no, okay, okay power through so What do you like most about your partner sense of humor?

Oh my gosh guys, so I feel like most of you only realized this when he went on stage at the live show if you were there, but he is actually really, well, okay, no. He's become really funny. Actually, you were funny-ish before, but he had a lot of dad jokes. But now, oh my gosh, he's taking his humor to another level. I don't know where it's come from. But at the live show, you were on fire. I was laughing so hard, and most of the time, I'm like,

hmm, this funny. But I was actually crying with laughter. You were really good on stage. And I feel like when you're in your element, all like different sides of you come out and you really, like you come into who you like fully are on stage, and that was really cool for us. See, and I had so many people message me

about how funny you are on stage and that they had no idea that you had humor in you. But that was really cool to see. What was the question again? What do you like most about your partner since a few years? Oh, yeah. Now he really knows how to make me laugh. Like even if it's really silly stuff,

I can't even think of it right now. But you definitely know how to make me from my belly laugh, not just that. That was cute. But I still tell you two far's under. Yeah. Sometimes it's like, I'm laughing really hard. And then it keeps going because I keep things

that's going to make me keep laughing, but then he kind of ruins it. But that's also quite funny. I do that a lot. I do that a lot, but she's like, okay, you end up doing that. Yeah. It's like, I feel like I'm just going to get one more laugh. Yeah.

It's like, yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, on stages where I feel like I'm at my most myself in terms of when I'm sharing, and I feel like, yeah, I feel like I'm at my most myself in terms of what I'm sharing and I feel like, yeah, I feel like I'm at my best on stage. So I love being with the audience and I love the energy that everyone gave me that day as well. And you know, when I'll be touring soon as well, I can't wait to meet so many more of you. So it'll be fun. But yeah, okay, about you, what's my favorite thing? Radi is literally exactly who she is on her Instagram. Like, whenever anyone tells me like,

I love her post, like I love the light she is, like that is her, like that's just her all the time. Like I wake up and she'll be doing a dance. Like when I walk into the living room, or like I come home and she's just like smiling and laughing and she'll make jokes about everything. Like Rady doesn't take life seriously, I feel, and that's what I love about you so much. And what I mean by that is she takes her spiritual life seriously,

but then she doesn't take her day seriously. Like, she's happy to laugh at herself, she's happy to laugh at what's going on. We can both be like talking about something really serious at one point, and then we both start laughing because she's able to laugh at it. And I just think she's always got this child-like energy and it's not childish because we don't want people to act childish, but when people are child-like and Raleigh really has that,

she always makes everyone laugh. She's, yeah, she just says funny stuff throughout the day and her dancers are the best. And I love it. I know rhythm dancers. And they're the best. I'm just so happy that I get to experience them all the time. Like I'm really, really happy.

Like you've made, you brought, you are literally the comedian of our lives. Yeah, I mean, you're catching up though. You are catching up with your jokes. I'll give you that. You're definitely becoming more funnier with age. I like your sense of humor is playful and not contrived. It's not like she tells knock knock jokes and stuff like that.

It's like it's just playful, it's childlike, it's abundant, it's just there, it's who she is. It's the best thing about you. Oh, thanks. Yeah, and I love seeing you laugh. That's the best thing because she laughs her own jokes, the most. Oh, I love my own jokes all the time. And I love watching her laugh her own jokes because-

Because I feel like, look, if there's every time when you need to laugh and there's nobody around, you need to be able to be at a point where you can make yourself laugh. You're having a bad day, make yourself laugh. Don't leave it on it, somebody else. It's good advice. Thanks.

All right, we've only got a few more left to go. Okay, I'm ready. Okay. Oh, Radeolta does, I want to add this. Radeol does some funny stuff that makes me laugh a lot. So we went to this Halloween party. Oh.

And it was a fancy dress party, obviously, as Halloween is. And Rady came up with this idea about a month before that we should go as a Rajashtani prince and princess based on this movie called Padmavati for those of you who watched Hollywood. And so, Riley came up with that idea. I'm, you know, I would probably go on his Batman or something like that.

So I was like, okay, yeah, that's cool. Like it's different, let's do it. Do you tell the rest of the story? So I thought of the idea and then obviously, you either have to do it fully or you just end up looking just odd. So I thought, okay, let's go the full way. So that meant having pretty much like a bridal Indian outfit on and he was wearing basically a groom's outfit for a wedding and in theory it looks really cool in my head which it did but it was so heavy

like my head piece the skirt I yet to want push me into the car it was so big I lift the car, it leads my dress into the car then I lasted about 30 minutes at the event and I was like I have to go home. I literally cannot lift this anymore. My head was hurting, the skirt was too heavy to like move about in. So I lasted at that party for 30 minutes, came home, undressed, going to my PJs. So I walked around the party for the rest of the night as a single Indian prince in this hat with my sword wearing an Indian outfit. Yeah, I just saw sword. I got even a sword. I only looked good when I was with her. Like it only looked good at the ensemble, like

together. But me on my own, it was not cool. So that was like, it was horrendous. It was so horrendous. I don't know. I don't know how I didn't think about that part. Yeah, that was so funny about you there. Yeah, that was not one of my best moments. Okay, so this question is, what are you proudest of your partner from the last 12 months since the first podcast? Oh, okay, so definitely the live event was, one of them, because you also showed people that you made them laugh, so that was cool for me. And then the other thing was obviously your book, because I've been watching him work

on this book for gosh, how long have you been writing it for? 12 months. 12 months, yeah, he's been writing it for 12 months and I've only read bits of it. But from what I have seen, it's just been so amazing. One, to see his dedication to the book,

how authentic he's trying to make it. And also just how you get to see and hear a different side of him. I feel like this podcast, you show yourself in a certain way and on your videos you have another part of you and this book I feel is a completely different side of you as well that people are going to be able to experience and just the amount of energy and time and effort you've gone into

really make sure it is like the best quality stuff in the book. And the bits that I've read, I just think it's going to be so, what I love about it is that it's literally made just to really help people, like find their purpose. And that's the thing about you, like you, I know you've said, I think you said this the other day, that like your worst fear and like your worst nightmare is for people not to live their potential. Whatever that potential is big, small, whatever it is for them, like for them to live their potential,

that's your dream for everybody. And so I really think that this book is like almost your first step in like serving those people to really help them find their potential. And I think it's just such a beautiful book. And yeah, just seeing you go through that process was really, really interesting, because it's hard work. And the hardest thing I've ever done.

Excited for it to come out, though, and like, see everyone's reaction and feedback and how it's helped people. So yeah, that's definitely another huge highlight. Yeah, it was definitely the hardest thing I've ever done. So I'm just going to say thanks. I love you. Yeah, it was definitely the hardest thing I've ever done. Sorry, thanks. I love you. Yeah, that's it.

For me. For Rade, she's one exam away from being an Ayurvedic Health counselor. If I pass, which is amazing, she will pass. I know she's been working really, really hard. Like, I see her revising and I always think like, I'm so happy I know long have to revise. Like work is hard, but revising for exams was so stressful. Like, it wasn't a fun feeling.

Like, now I'm like, my work is, my work life is fun, obviously, I love it. But, and it's challenging, but it's not an exam like this. Something about exams that, just so Rade's still does exams because she's amazing and wants to learn. And what I love about her is I have to learn.

It's not just to get a qualification or to get a title, it's like, she really has this belief that she wants to know and learn and deeply understand something before she teaches it. And I love her integrity for that. I love her authenticity for that. I think it's a beautiful quality that she has that she never wants to mislead anyone. She never wants to give someone a little bit of information. She really wants to feel like she has a full grasp of something Before she tells someone else to do it

And I think that that is such a beautiful quality to have and I really really respect it So that's been amazing to what you do and Watching you create a full menu For a restaurant in London that we both Tasted and went to check out together and the food tasted amazing And Rady designed the whole menu and I know she's been testing recipes. She's working on this project for like three, four years,

forget the last 12 months, like she's turned up at food events. She's turned up at food festivals where she's like making food for like hundreds and thousands of people that are coming to eat. Like she's done that time and time again to test her recipes. Like the amount of effort that goes into

creating a recipe, like one recipe. It's like thousands of people have had to eat that before she knows if it's right. It's not just like, oh, yeah, Jay likes it, it gets on the menu. It's like she's cooking for so many people to test in to finally have that menu and to taste that with her and just to be so impressed by what she did.

It was just amazing, like what an amazing achievement. Yeah, that was it. And it was so challenging in so many different ways, you know, working across time zones, you know, to having to travel back constantly, like cooking in her parents' home, cooking at events, like, there's so much to it that I just respect you for just how amazing you are at being dedicated to wanting people to eat healthy, tasty, nutritious food. Yeah, that was a fun time. Yeah, really proud of you for that.

And so many amazing people involved in it too. Yeah. So that was fun. But really proud of you. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun to see it unravel and actually open. Yeah.

And, okay, so we're now at the final section, okay. Where my team have asked us to fill in the blanks. Fill in the blanks. Which means I have to say the sentences which I've never seen before and I'm not a part from when I look to this just now. And we have to end with the word that we both think so we'll do one word each at the end.

Does that make sense? Yes, makes complete sense. The first one is love is best when. Love is best when shared. I was going to say the same thing. I was going to say when it's me, sure, shared. I was going to share first. Okay, cool. Love is never ego filled. That's not where the. No, but that's good. Egotistical. Yeah, that's really good. I was going to say boring. We're boring. Yeah, love is never boring. So it's exciting. It's always full of growth. Were you answers better? You and that one, okay

commitment means commitment means Because commitment means dedication. So commitment can't mean dedication. Is it commitment means? I think commitment means Understanding no Is it commitment means? I think commitment means... Understanding? No, commitment means. Yeah, understanding is good. Yeah. There's no right or wrong answer. Is that commitment? I think commitment means every day, anywhere, anytime.

That's commitment. Three words, but fine, we'll give it to you. Yeah. I like that. Okay, I knew I loved UN. Like time? Or like when you did this? No, when you did this? No, when you did something. And it can be more than one word.

Okay, I knew I loved you when you first cooked for me. And you made this like... You made a chocolate croissant for me. I didn't make that one. Oh, you didn't. Yeah. That wasn't me! But the first one?

As you know, you made the... She made it wasn't someone else. It was, she had asked. I asked someone to make it. Yeah, that's because I didn't know how to make pastries at the time. Yeah, no, that wasn't it. That was a wonderful moment though, but... I loved you when you were my, like, when you...

Well, I was, I always have the teacher side of you, like, I felt free, like, I really appreciated and valued you and loved you when you were my teacher and guide a successful marriage means sacrificing What so that was I say the one more time a successful a successful marriage means sacrifice thing We are like the word sacrifice. Do you know we don't say nothing? I don't like the word sacrifice. I don't think I've sacrificed anything No, yeah, no. No, I'm missing out on the internet. Sugar. Okay. Okay, so, building a family with you makes me...

I'm excited. I think it's like better than excited. It's a grateful. Yes, that's a good one. Yeah, I feel grateful. I take that. I just know that having a little you in my life, with you guiding them will be really. Oh, that's going to be drama. Okay, going next. Okay, so this is your final five. Okay, I'll answer

them as well. So who is your favorite family member? My grandma. Okay. Bar. Yeah, mine has to be my sister. Yeah, for sure. Okay, top two favorite restaurants. Top two favorite restaurants in the world. Yeah. My mom's house won't give her a address, but definitely my mom's house. And the second one, all of mine are in New York, actually.

Div is kitchen, ABCV, hangar with. That's it. Okay, fine. I'd say our house. Yeah. And ABCV. Okay, yeah. Actually, I've got a few more to it, but yeah, yeah, that's good. Alright, okay, awesome. What song does your partner have on repeat?

Right now. I guess so, yeah. I think Rady's song on repeat right now is it's probably some like soccer song or like some sort of like some like reggaeton song or something like. Yes, but also John V. Oh yeah okay. Meditation music. As in yeah just John V's voice is amazing. Rade's YouTube. My YouTube is like a little bit more. You know when it goes like recommended for, it'll be like meditation music,

keratin, songs, and then like soccer music. And like, you're party animal. Yeah. Like literally shows where my mind's at most of the time. But Janu Harrison is the true one of my favorite artists. She's, actually people ask me about this a lot. Um, she does the most incredible meditation music, but also just the way that she puts instruments together

and everything, like it's just amazing. So definitely her, soccer music. And actually right now, Justin Bevis, the new song. Yeah, what about mine? Yo, we're answering about each other. No, just yeah, kind of like. What song do you have on repeat right now? How about you listen to music lately?

So for a while, it was that rhythm of the night track from the Bad Boys 2 soundtrack. Oh yeah. RIPMO I think it's called with J Balvin and Will I Am. And then there's a lot of Drake. I listen to it kind of Drake. He loves Drake. Yeah. I can listen to a lot of Drake.

Okay. Cool. What was the last kind thing you appointed for you? Um, the last kind thing you did for me. You packed my suitcases on the way there and back when I was Russian, I was busy. Usually I packed my own suitcases, but you helped me out with that. Yes I did.

That was big. What did you do for me lately? Hmm. This morning, this morning, oh, you ordered me juice. Ruleth, thanks for that. Yes, they're not you, so no, not today. Yes, the day. What did you do for me?

That was nice. Oh my God. Joking. You always give, like, I get tension in my head and so you always give me a really good hand massage. I'm not sure you did that yesterday, but most days. I did. Oh, what's in the movie? Yes, you did. Yes.

Okay, that next. Okay. And the final question, what is your partner's biggest goal for 2020? So what goal did you? 2020 feels like it has to be a big gap for 2020, doesn't it? What's yours? What's your biggest goal? What's yours?

Oh, we're not answering for each other. You can. Okay, my biggest goal for 2020 is to figure out exactly what I want to do. Nice. Because I don't know, yeah. Uh... I love it, man. It's so cute.

This has been my goal every year. But this year, 2020 feels like it's going to be really special. And I said, this is the year. I'm going to launch my blog. That's for sure. Soon. I'm going to figure out exactly what I want to do. And I'm going to be really productive.

And your goal for 2020 is. My goal is the year of the book. So for me, I've spent so much time writing this book that I just want as many people as possible to read this book because, yeah, I've just put everything into it. So cool that you have like everything down of like what your focus is and I'm like, we'll see. I love you for it. No, I know. I just saying it's like it's just really different. Okay, cool. That's great. That's it. Yeah, that's it. We for it. No, I know. I just saying it's like, it's just really different. Um, okay, cool. That's great. That's it. Is that it? Yeah. That's it.

We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. A five. That was great. Happy one yet. Everyone has been listening.

Whether you started listening on day one or whether you just started listening today, I just want to welcome you to the on purpose family from me and Rady. It's been a phenomenal journey so far. And we've just got started. We've released two episodes every week for the last 12 months. We've got so many episodes for you to listen to. Incredible interviews with some of the most fascinating minds, some of my best friends, some of the closest people in my life.

And then weekly wisdom workshops where I'm guiding you through an incredible journey. Don't miss out every Monday, every Friday. If you've already subscribed, thank you so much. If you haven't, make sure you do. And if you've already reviewed us, if you're one of the 12,000 people that have left a review, thank you. And if you haven't, please, please, please, leave a review on the podcast.

It makes a huge difference on Spotify and Apple and on all other platforms. And for me and Raddy, thank you again. Raddy, thank you for doing this. I love having you on and yeah, it's so much fun to do these with you. I love you so much. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season, and yet we're constantly discovering new secrets. The variety of them continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share 10 incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience,

and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. Listen to season 8 of Family Secrets on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart,

Lewis Hamilton, and many, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw, real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on-purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon.

Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Nunehm. I'm a journalist, a wanderer, and a bit of a bond-vivant, but mostly a human just trying to figure out what it's all about. And not lost is my new podcast about all those things. It's a travel show where each week I go with a friend to a new place and to really understand it, I try to get invited to a local's house for dinner. Where kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party, it doesn't always work out. Ooh, I have to get back to you.

Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.