On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Jay & Radhi Answer Questions About Productivity Hacks, Using Your Energy Effectively, and How to Have Positive Self-Talk

Episode Date: March 8, 2024

This episode is brought to you by BMW, and the most requested guest is back again - Jay's wife, Radhi Devlukia! Jay and Radhi swap lives for a day in the all electric BMW ix. In this episode, Jay and Radhi take a road trip to the grocery store, where she challenges Jay to complete a grocery store run, where he is tasked to find the right ingredients for their favorite recipe, without her help. There’s never a dull moment when Jay and Radhi are together - from their on-the-road Q&A, to their grocery store outing (especially when Jay still couldn’t tell the difference between coriander and parsley) - they continue to provide laughs, insights, and meaningful wisdom.  Tag along on this ride and join the challenges of modern day dating and find out who’s the most stubborn one between the two. What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:18 Jay’s Stuffed Pepper Recipe in Radhi’s Cookbook 02:03 If We Are in Carpool Karaoke  02:44 Difference Between Drivers in LA and London 03:42 What Does it Mean to Be A Backseat Driver in Life? 05:35 The Three People You Will Go on a Drive With 08:43 Who Usually Leave the Car Lights On? 09:52 Who’s Most Likely to Get Car Sick? 10:29 Would You Need Maps to Navigate Between Places? 11:02 Why Doesn’t Radhi Reply to Messages Right Away? 12:57 First Line to Say When You Meet in a Party 14:11 What’s Your Screen Time? 15:10 Do You Have an Ick About Me? 16:33 It’s Time to Buy Groceries! 22:35 How Does It Feel When Someone Cook For You? 23:56 How Do You Manage to Stay Productive Everyday? 28:03 What Kind of a Party Person Are You? 31:05 Living Conditions in Refugee Camps in the Old Days 31:59 Leaving an Impact in the Community Your Serve 37:02 Spending Time with Family in an Indian Wedding To learn more about the all electric BMW iX head here https://bit.ly/jayshettyxbmwix See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, I'm Wilmer Valderrama, executive producer of the new podcast, De Maia Bolita First. Each week, the incredible Vico Ortiz and fabulous Abuelita Liliana Montenegro will play matchmaker for a group of hopeful romantics. Right Vico? You know it! Listen to De Maia Bolita First, Thursdays on the iHeartRadio App, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. And remember, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Just do it better. Pesitos.

The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden-Bratford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care. Join Radhya and I for a part two of our special on-purpose episode today with BMW. Today, Radhi and I switch roles and I go grocery shopping in Radhi's place.

Tune in for the road trip with the all-electric BMW iX. Yeah, it's super nice. It's pretty spacious. Let's go! So, Radhi, what's the challenge today? Okay, so you remember a couple of years ago, we did this YouTube video where you made something. Yeah, I've been trying to block it out. Okay, so you at that time made me, what did you make me? I made you, so this is the one and only time in our entire life that I think I've cooked you. One time, one time only. And I promised it would be one time only. I cooked you a stuffed pepper

and it was the best rice stuffed pepper you'd ever had in your entire life. It was, it actually made it into my cookbook. I don't know whether I've ever even told you this ever had in your entire life. It was. It actually made it into my cookbook. I don't know whether I've ever even told you this, but there is a recipe. Imagine you, all people have a recipe in my cookbook. That's amazing. No, it's ridiculous. I told you, if I wanted to be a chef,

I'd be really good at it. I was asked if you've ever cooked with, is there any recipes that remind me of you? And there was one. It was either that or beans on toast. They said I couldn't put beans on toast in there. Beans on toast, that would have been the best. With cheese sprinkled on toast. They said I couldn't put beans on toast in there. Beans on toast, that would have been the best with cheese sprinkled on top.

That's not in my book. We've catch up. What made it into my book just because stuffed pepper didn't feel fun enough, it's a one part Mexican rice. Wait, why did the stuffed pepper not feel good enough? It just feels like a bit basic honestly. The actual Mexican rice has made it. It's like a one part Mexican rice dish. So you already kind of know how to do this.

I don't. I don't have no idea. You're like cheating a little bit. I did have no idea. What we're going to do is we're going to the grocery store or the supermarket, as we like to call it. And you're going to buy all the ingredients. This is my worst nightmare. But on top of that, just to make it a little bit spicy,

we are going to get you making some guacamole and some healthy sour cream to be able to dollop on top. And then I will joyfully eat it for lunch. While we're on the way to the grocery store, let's answer some questions. All right, let's do it. So you've got them next to you, because I can't read questions and drive at the same time.

I think that would be very safe. If we were doing carpool karaoke right now, what would it be? Mine would be, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, or it would be baby, calm down, calm down. Okay, calm down. Don't tell me, no, no, no. You have to know the words.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Cut it, go. You always make fun of me because he makes fun of me in my music choice because he says a lot of it, there isn't actual words, it's either mumble or it's- Sound. Sound. So that would be mine and if it was Jay,

he would be, don't ever stop. What is it? It'd be a Drake song. Yeah, Drake song. Everybody obviously got that I was doing Drake. Right, that's exactly what I got. All right, so what are the questions? What's the biggest difference between drivers in LA

and drivers in London? Oh, I don't know. I have to say, I do find LA drivers a little bit more impatient. Just without that. Really? Yeah. I do find there's a lot more beeping.

No one wants to give you away, whereas, you know what? In London, I'd say people do let you into things. Really? Yeah. Interesting. I feel like one thing I really love about driving in LA as a driver myself is I love the palm trees. I feel like I'm on a constant vacation.

This isn't about drivers though. Right, right, right. Like drivers, but I agree. I do find the highways scary in LA. Me too, because you have that thing of going off. Yeah, when people are switching lanes and obviously everything's the other way around for us. So you're driving on a different side of the road

and the steering wheels on a different side of the car. So especially I find when I come back from London I find it even scarier and I find myself too much on one side or the other. Oh I do that all the time. But yeah and I think I mean I think drivers pretty much ever in the world are pretty impatient aren't they? Yeah I am too. Do you believe you're a backseat driver? Okay, I'm a proud backseat driver. You know why? Because my line, every time I do a backseat driver thing,

like watch out or don't go that close is imagine, I didn't say that I could have just saved your life and somebody else's. The difference is every time you say it, I'm like the way you say it is more likely to cause an accident. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Yes.

Yeah, exactly. Then save me. Like I'm like, literally, I have a shock. Like I literally have a shock every time you say it. And I'm like, what happened? Like what happened? Did something happen? And you're like, no, just.

What's my usual, oh my gosh, it's mummy. Yeah, mummy. It's like, what's mummy gonna do? I would say I am more of a backseat driver than Jay. It's yes. I'm not a backseat driver at all. Maybe that just is, yes. I'm not a backseat driver at all. Maybe that just shows I care more. More so not a backseat driver in life.

Oh, line drop. No, no, but it's an interesting question, right? This is like, you know what, Jay Shetty getting Jay Shetty on me? Actually, you know what, let's go deeper into that. What does it mean to be a backseat driver in your life? It's a good question, then. What does it mean, Jay, to be a backseat driver? Please do tell us.

No, I just think that some of us, you know, grab life by the steering wheel and navigate and take the journey ourselves. And some of us sit in the backseat and criticize and judge and complain about whatever else is doing. Do you not think that in life we need both backseat drivers and people who want to take the steering wheel and too many steering wheel people

would actually be not good? That was an amazing question. Yeah. That was an amazing question. No, I believe that when you're driving, you should drive safely and securely and responsibly. And when you're in the backseat, you should be obedient. I'm talking about that.

In life. In life. Oh, in life. Yeah, in life. Okay, next question, people. Next question. If you could pick three people to fill your car with on a road trip. Oh, good question.

Oh, just to remind everyone. These were questions that my team came up with, so we had no idea what we were going to be if you could pick three people to fill your car with on a road trip Who would they be? Go on. Let's try one each. What three people in the whole entire world. Yeah Okay, I know Yeah, mine are quite easy. Mine would be okay people alive would be My grandma my niece and my niece, and my nephew, yeah, banter forever. You're gonna make it.

I didn't make it. I didn't make it. No, but that would be like, it would be so funny. Three in the back, three in the back. We'll put three in the back. Three in the back. Three in the car. You can be in the car too.

But not alive, I would love to have a car full of like my grandma and then her grandma and my ancestors. One, I love driving around all people. I do it for my grandma and her her grandma and my ancestors. One, I love driving around all people. I do it for my grandma and her friends all the time and it is so much fun because they're hilarious. You know, one thing I found, my dad opens up on road trips. Like if it's just me and him,

he's driving me to the airport or my sister told me yesterday that he was driving her to the airport and he starts telling stories about himself. Like it creates this time and space where people can open up a little bit. And so, with that in mind, I think I would want that with people

that I really wish I had got to know, but wouldn't have the chance to. What questions would you ask, or what game would you play with these people in the car on a long journey? For fun, I would definitely play, well, our version, Indian version of Carpool Karaoke and Thakshari, where you all just sing like old Indian songs but I

imagine my grandma and her ancestors would probably sing like devotional songs or God songs which is amazing but then to actually ask them questions oh I love word association I think it tells a lot about people right to like to like understand when they hear something what they relate it to. Right. So yeah that's what I'll play. What about you? Who are your three people, babe? Oh gosh, all right.

So if it was living, it would be you, my sister, and my mum. Yeah. And that would be like my family trip. Yeah. If it was people who weren't alive or people I don't know, I'd want it to be Steve Jobs, Martin Luther King, and Einstein.

Oh, wow. And I wouldn't say anything, I would just listen. Would be all of them in one car? Yeah, because I would have, I would just listen. I would have nothing to say. Yeah, just observe. And think about what they would say. You know what was so fun in the car though?

We've done a few random car trips with him together as Rathanaswamy because I feel like he really brings up such good conversation and also does the same thing my dad does where there's so many stories that come out during those trips. Totally. I love those trips. Actually, I take you out and put him into mine, sorry.

Got it, got it. With your buying and you your knees. My grandma, my niece, my nephew. Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm not sure he'd enjoy that. I was going to say the other person you love having in the car is Ardil. Oh yeah, that's a good car for a career career. Yeah, you and Ardil are always singing in cars. That's true. That's a good answer. That would be a really interesting conversation to have. Yeah. If it was possible. Who is more likely to leave the car lights on overnight? I literally did that yesterday, not overnight.

Did you? Not overnight, no. You leave the car lights on, you leave the car unlocked, you forget to charge the car. I leave my little... Like we're so lucky that we have electric cars right now. They say electric cars. I've always got a spare hairband, a spare drink, a spare some pair of sunglasses, some snacks. There's always something here,

a lingerie. That's really a blessing. So then, yeah, I wouldn't be me. I'll take that. I find that I go through periods where the car is immaculate and then when I have too many clothes and shoes in the car. There are times I will literally come to the car

and it's like he's been living out of his car for a long period of time. Because I've started to realize, like it happened the other night, right? He needed a tux. I needed a suit, because I had an event to go to and I've started to realize, so I keep my pickleball stuff in the car.

I need a suit in the car, I need a suitcase in the car potentially. Like I find like so much of my life is so like last minute. True. I jump on a plane, do this, do that. That I've started to realize that I need to be more prepared. I feel like you weren't prepared for this road trip because where are my beverages?

Oh, no, but we're gonna buy some Juni when we get there. Okay, fine. Who's most likely to get car sick in a car that they're not driving me to? Oh, me. Yeah, I get car sick so much. I still never let's figure that out though, that kind of like...

Let's just go a little bit deeper into this, shall we? Let's dive into it, Jay. Go on. I'm trying to figure out this whole classic situation. Why is it that? It's just the imbalance in the ear, babe. There's nothing to figure out. No, but then how do we solve our imbalance?

Because we've had this for a while. Yeah, no, it's the imbalance in your eardrum. Right. So there are different ways. You can use peppermint. All that really helps me. Right. So why don't you bring peppermint?

It's chewing on ginger. That's really helpful. And then if you are reading, read upwards. Got it. Go on then. What's the next question? Okay, the next question is, would you need maps to get from our house to go to a grocery store? Yes. Yes. Completely. I think Google Maps has really ruined my ability to absorb in things around me. And like, I don't know what I would be without Google Maps.

I don't know. Well, no, I know what I would be. I don't know what I would be without Google Maps. Well, no, I know what I would be. I don't know where I would be. If I was, yeah, if I'm in London, I can really get around. But I feel like ever since we moved to the States... I've become very reliant. ...I'm so reliant on Maps and... Yeah, so in conclusion, we both would need Maps to get anywhere. I'm assuming this is a question from you to me.

Go on. Do you not answer texts from me because you're playing hard to get? So I've told the team that sometimes you don't respond. I have to explain this to our friends as well because our friends will be like, he's rather upset with me, like he's rather okay. Like, I'm like, I'm like, she doesn't reply to her and husband

for like seven messages. Like I have to ask you the same question. And I've realized. You're quite, you're someone who like, it's not, you're not so succinct though. I am succinct. Okay fine. Since you're all messy.

It is me honestly but I also think, you know what I really do think, and this is, I'm going to have a J. Shetty moment now. I believe that we have this terrible habit of wanting people to reply within like a day or two. Fair. And I'm like, what if I want to reply within a week? But why if we live together? Yeah.

Then you can ask me when you see me. Right. And I just think that there's this, I don't, I find that the reason I get distracted so fast is because this need of, oh my gosh, I have to reply to this person fast. I have to reply to this email within this amount of time. I have to, and sometimes I just want the freedom.

Like today I've replied back to an email three days later. Was anybody hurt by it? No, well if they were, I'm sorry, but all the text messages someone messaged me and I remembered it this morning So I was like oh four days later, and I don't even feel like I should have to apologize for a late reply because late is relative Yes, I am bad. No, no you've got really good at it. I've gone so much better I just find sometimes I need to make a decision. Totally. Call me. I am not a messenger. I am so good with calls.

And I'm the opposite. I'm a message me. You're a messenger. Yeah, I don't know who's called me because I've been meeting to discuss with you or something. If you call me, I will pick up and we can talk. I'm more than happy to do that. But because I have to type so much for work

and I'm on my phone all the time for that, communication via phone becomes so tedious for me. It's not fun. So call me, beat me if you wanna reach me. One of the times I do take calls, which I do love is when I'm driving. That's usually my time to take a phone call. It speeds up any journey.

Except LA has such bad reception. Fair. What would each other's first line be if we met now at a party? Oh, interesting. Mine would be something like... Did you try the vegan taco? Are you vegan?

Are you vegan? What would mine be? Mine would be... We never met at a party, so I don't know if I have that context. I think maybe you'd probably get into a group convo with people. You'd say something intellectual and I'd ask you something. Oh, so I'd use my intellect to move? Yeah, I think you say something intellectual, and then I'd ask you something. Oh, so I'd use my intellect. Yeah, I think you use your intellect.

What's the first song? No, but do you know what? No, no. Let's get into this. No, no, no. I really feel for everyone who's dating right now online and stuff, it's really hard. It's so hard.

You have to be interesting on your profile. You have to be interesting on your pictures. Then you have to be interesting on your profile, you have to be interesting on your pictures, then you have to be interesting on text, then you have to be interesting on a voice note, then you have to be interested in real life. And then you get the real life. It's because you're forced to have to be interesting at every tiny point of connection.

No, sometimes I just want to not talk and just be silent. You can't do that on dates. You can't just be yourself. You always feel like you have to show up as a really excitable, interesting person with a lot that you do in life. What's your screen time? Oh my gosh.

Well, it's a secret. Tell me yours. I'll tell you mine later. I don't even want to tell you. Tell me. Seven hours 30 minutes. That makes sense. It's during the workday.

Let's see what issue, see what it is though. Most used WhatsApp, so like yesterday, was WhatsApp for three hours, that's messaging in calls. Talking to your mom. Yeah, Instagram for one hour 10, not bad. Internet surfing for one hour. Notes section 42 minutes, because I write on that.

Yeah, write your quotes. I write my quotes on there, write my little reminders, reflections. Google Maps 30 minutes, messages 26 minutes, and Google Calendar 23 minutes. That's not too bad. Honestly, that's probably one of my, and Google Mail 20 minutes. That was writing back to that one email. Great. Tune in to the new podcast, Stories from the Village of Nothing Much.

Like easy listening, but for fiction. If you've overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you. I'm Catherine Nicolai, and you might know me from the Bedtime Story podcast, Nothing Much Happens. I'm an architect of Cozy, and I invite you to come spend some time where everyone is welcome and kindness is the default. When you tune in you'll hear stories about bakeries and walks in the woods, a favorite

booth at the diner on a blustery autumn day, cats and dogs and rescued goats and donkeys, old houses, bookshops, beaches where kites fly, and pretty stones are found. I have so many stories to tell you, and they are all designed to help you feel good and feel connected to what is good in the world. Listen, relax, enjoy. Listen to stories from the Village of Nothing Much on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Something about Mary Poppins?

Something about Mary Poppins. Something about Mary Poppins. Exactly. Oh man, this is fun. I'm AJ Jacobs and I am an author and a journalist and I tend to get obsessed with stuff. And my current obsession is puzzles. And that has given birth to my new podcast, The Puzzler. Dressing. Dressing.

Oh, French Puzzler. Dressing. Dressing. Oh, French dressing. Exactly. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, that's good. That's good. We are living in the golden age of puzzles, and now you can get your daily puzzle nuggets delivered

straight to your ears for 10 minutes or less, every day on The Puzzler, short and sweet. But I thought to myself, I bet I know what this is. And now I definitely know what this is. This is so weird. This is fun. Let's try this one. Listen to the puzzler every day on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. That's awful. And I should have seen it coming. If our relationship had a theme song what would it be? Popstar?

Yeah, I'm a pop star. No no, duh, duh. Yeah, I'd go with that. I don't think that goes for our relationship. Oh yeah, that's great. Do you have an ink about me? Oh, I think it used to be when you used to run late. I can tell you mine. What? Mine is because you know you have this like photographic memory.

I don't even remember everything. Sometimes even if I know I'm in the right, I question myself. You're not in the right. I am though, there are some times where you actually get it wrong. I don't. You do, and this is my ink.

This part. You're the stubborn one. I don't get anything wrong. No this is my egg. This part. You're the stubborn one. I don't get anything wrong. No, I do get stuff wrong. I'm actually the first to say I'm sorry or the first to say I've got something wrong. You are. You're the stubborn one. I am stubborn.

It's your stubbornness. Okay, great. It's going to start fighting. All right, so we're here. Yeah. Made it. Made it. Enjoyed that conversation with you.

Me too. It was really great. I'm really excited to get a little beverage. And for the challenge, I am not wearing a drink. Are you ready? Are you ready? Come on, let's go. Let's go get some food. Come and eat some dinner.

It's Friday, I need some, I need to break, okay? Let's do it. How do I open this? Oh yeah, amazing. Oh, you're not opening my door for me now. Oh, sorry. Ha ha ha. See you, sorry.

Ha ha ha. Show you this in here. Yeah. Let's go. Hey guys, it's Jay Shetty here, and I couldn't be more excited to share this exciting news. You asked, we delivered. Juni sparkling tea with adaptogens made by my wife and I are now available in all sprout

locations across the country. Juni is the perfect midday pick me up with only one third of the caffeine found in brewed green tea. It provides a gentle energy boost without the crash. It only has 5 calories and 0 grams of sugar, making it the perfect drink. Plus, it's made with a delicious blend of adaptogens and neutropics that may help boost your metabolism, combat stress, pack your body with antioxidants and stimulate brain

function. Head over to your local Sprouts or visit Spr sprouts.com to find the closest location near you. That was fun. That was so fun. I know you're hungry. I'm gonna go home and cook. I'm gonna go home and make lunch for you. How does it feel when someone makes your own food for you? Honestly great because you know what the amazing thing about cooking and recipes is? When I cook my mum's food, I can literally cook the same thing with the same recipe and it will never taste the same.

In a good way. In a great way, everything is so different. So when I make your recipe, it will have its own flavor Yeah, yeah, because it will be made with love for you Yeah, we just be using different hands different amount like even if you're measuring things out somehow things always taste different That's what's so amazing about food. Right. I'm just not a person to speak to when I'm not fed, right? I don't know whether you're like that. Is that how you feel right now? That's all I feel right now. I get what you're saying, though. I get quite hungry as well.

Do you? Don't you? You do? Hopset. I get more hopset. I get hopset. Well, like, yeah, hopset. I get agitated.

Hagitated, right? Hagitated. Hagitated. So what do we do? What do I do when you're agitated? Ideally not talk to me, but we can't do that right now. No, we go. Because we're recording a podcast.

Let's keep this going. What do you do to keep yourself like, because you're someone who extends so much energy during the day, I feel like you're probably one of the most, what's like the word for a person who uses their time really well? Just organised. No, no, no. You are one of the most productive people that I know and you really don't, you know, you're not a time waster. You really use your energy and your time so efficiently.

But I always wonder and I feel like I get asked this a lot, like how do you manage to maintain that energy level throughout the day? I don't. There are times when I feel tired. But a secondary part to that question is when you do like right now I feel like I just want to get into bed and do nothing for the rest of the day but like one can't do that often. So what would one do if one was feeling that way and actually you know how do you keep motivated and then pick your energy back up? I think first of all I do love what I do and I really and I'm really grateful to get to do what I do. I feel like I appreciate that. I get to do what I love every day and I don't take that for granted.

I've noticed that about you. Even if you are feeling that way, you self-soothe a lot in the sense that you self-talk to motivate your... You don't really rely on other people to bring you know you give me encouragement no but what I'm saying is you find ways I know even when you're feeling tired you're like no you know I may be tired but this is something that I love doing or you're constantly talking to yourself in a positive language to motivate yourself or energize yourself yeah and I've noticed that by you where even if you are tired and even if you're, yeah, I'm exhausted

but I've had like the best week and it's been so productive and I got this done and what an amazing thing to be able to do this or this. And so I've noticed that with you where even, and so I think that language really makes a difference. To you. How we talk to ourselves, yeah. And I always say to myself, I am tired, so I'm accepting.

Yeah, accepting. And then I add an action to solve that. So I am tired and I'll go to sleep tonight. I'll sleep early tonight, yeah. Sorry, yeah, I'll go to sleep early tonight. Or I am tired and tomorrow I'm gonna sleep on the plane. So I've got a flight tomorrow. It's always telling you, you know what it is?

It's your body reacts to how you're feeling and what you're saying to it. Yeah, and you're not lying to it. You can't just be like, oh, I feel energized. No, because it knows you're like, yeah, it's one of those things where you are always giving it that hope and that something to look forward to where it's like, let's just put in that last amount of effort. And then just know that I also know you are struggling and I know that this is happening in my body, so I'm telling you body that we are going to do this and it's going to make us feel better. And also planning recoup, right?

Like I know that, like last weekend when you planned a little spa day for us, like I was looking forward to that the whole week. We knew we had a tough couple of weeks before that. And now I know I've got another quite intense like seven days ahead. And then I'm hoping to have a bit of a couple of days of rest. And so I think it's also balancing that out and saying, okay, I know I've got a busy period. When am I going to plan some deep rest? Rather than going, okay, I'm just going to rely on that energy. I think people and people by people, I mean people like me, we live moment to moment, rather than, like there's a lot of people,

and I'm not saying whether that's good or bad, but there are people who live moment to moment and react according to how they're feeling in the moment. And then there are people who, and I think there's a training element to it where, you know, you can't always act on how you're feeling because often how you're feeling may not be may not be the right way to do what you need to do.

Like I feel a certain way right now, but do I have things to do and do I need to get them done? Yes. Whereas if I went with how I was feeling and I didn't train myself to push through that sometimes, I wouldn't be able to get done what I need to do. So I think it takes an element of training. I think that's every single time you're feeling that way,

having that talk and pushing yourself to do those things. Yeah, that's really smart. There you go, there you go. Solved it. What was that last question on the page? It was what kind of party person are you? Oh, introvert, extrovert, what was the answer? No, it was kind of like the, so I know I,

and the person yearning at the party, but also the person who I find one person to talk to the whole night usually. Can I stick with that person? No, you are like a full on social butterfly. No, I'm not. Trying to get you out of a party, means literally like I?

So, okay look, I find Jeremy at any part, no, no, this is true. When Humble lived here, I would find Humble or Jeremy at any part and we would sit and have a philosophical conversation. For an hour and a half, that's fact. That's fact. No, that's fact.

No. Ask Humble or Jeremy. You're the person. This is that stubbornness coming out in you. I know why too. No, I know because I'm always waiting by the door, waiting for you to see. That's never happened in a million years.

Are you joking? Yeah. Are you joking? Name one place that we went to. Okay, I'm gonna ask all my friends, all of our friends tonight when we see them, what usually happens at the end of the night, it's you talking to everybody saying bye for about an hour.

Yeah, but that's just because they guess at our home or at our event. And we're out. No. You're talking to people and I'm waiting to go to the next shop when you're just having a, you just chatter, you are. I'm definitely not.

You are, you love socialising. You know what though, we went to some really beautiful things lately. So we were really fortunate to go to... Kristen Bell was being honoured by UN Women. Yes. And for the world peace humanitarian fund. I was so nervous. And it was a gala, the first ever gala. It was absolutely incredible.

I think we were both moved by Sharon Stone, who spoke. Sharon Stone gives such an incredible... She talked about... She shared so much that I just didn't know about. And you know one thing that's made me... That situation made me think it was about... There was some women who are, you know, advocating for a lot of peace around the world. And this was a woman that came from Afghanistan.

And she was talking about the amount that's happening in Afghanistan and it made me realise that there is so much happening around the world that we don't hear about and what makes it to us is based on what the media decides to show us and I find that so interesting because when I then was thinking about other things that I've heard through my friends or you know depending on where you're from originally you may hear more to do with that country right and so I was thinking about the other areas of the world that we just don't hear about and there is so much happening around the world that we just don't know about and we can't even and we can't it's so difficult and and it's obviously what's close to you and what

what's meaningful but it is so interesting that we do kind of live in our own bubble, even though you think we have so much access to other parts of the world. Like they were talking about what's happening in Afghanistan and how, you know, how women are treated. Yeah, refugee camps and how the women there are treated and how they're not allowed to go out into even walk by themselves on the street. They're not allowed education.

There's so much. Yeah, I was really blown away. I think we were both blown away by when Sharon Stone was saying that the average refugee spends 11 years in a refugee camp and there's no access to toilets and showers for that much time. You know what, I was thinking about this, my parents were in refugee camps, well my mum was for a long time, so was my dad for years of their teenage life and their refugee camps my mum was saying was actually it was in London it was in Scotland

sorry and they were saying they did have those facilities there but I think maybe in different parts of the world as they didn't but I think it's more collective showers, collective toilets and you just think about how different people's lives can be. Like my parents went through that for their teenagers, they spent it in refugee camps. They see it as a place that saved their life. Like they see the refugee camps as we were able to leave an unsafe place to come and take refuge.

Because they were able to get out. Yeah, exactly. And so they were so grateful to even have that someone that actually took them in and they were given that opportunity to start over and start a new life. Yeah. And then the other event we went to that I think was really beautiful and special this week was the celebration event for Clarence and Jackie Avan. Oh yeah, that was a great event.

That was just spectacular. We were so, so grateful. We both were invited by Nicole Avan. Oh yeah, that was spectacular. That was just spectacular. We're so, so grateful. We both were invited by Nicole Avan to celebrate her parents. And even though we didn't know her parents, I definitely felt like I knew them. Yeah, just, it was such a beautifully organized event. I felt so moved and touched because I walked away going, wow, if only I could even try to serve my community and live in the way her parents did. Like to have that much impact and whether it's impact online, offline, the people closest

to you, the people that you meet in a shop, whatever it is, to have that effect where people are so touched by who you are as a person and how you've gone above and beyond for them, I think it was incredible. The number of people in so many different areas, so many different walks of life, I was blown away. It was incredible. Yeah, it was unbelievable to have that experience and just, yeah, just to hear about how,

yeah, how someone for that many years as well could continue to support and serve their community. I know, I feel like it was from his pretty much like teenage years, or both their teenage years, all the way up till 90. And still, there were people who had met him at 90 and were sharing how much even within a couple of months they had completely changed their perspective. Yeah it was

really really special. Yeah. Yeah it was incredible and then obviously we got to watch this beautiful performance by Stevie Wonder which I thought was spectacular. Oh my gosh it literally made me cry. What a legendary human. Yeah. And then to be able to I think, more than anybody that I've seen in real life. And we went to Beyonce's concert. We went to so many things, but I don't know, there's something, for me, I've got a personal

kind of nostalgia with Stevie Wonder. It was playing, my dad used to play it all the time in the car when I was growing up. And just an amazing, amazing artist. Yeah, really fun events. So those are two social events you didn't have to drug me out. There you go.

Yeah, I really, really love attending these events that almost remind you of humanity. Like I walked away in different ways. One was what we can do to serve, what we can do to help. The other one about how we can celebrate humans as well. I felt I walked away thinking, how do I want to celebrate my parents? So, so...

How do I want to celebrate what they gave me? Yeah, it made me walk away thinking, because there were so many amazing stories that they were telling and it made me walk away thinking is there's these amazing games you can buy and journals that you ask your parents to fill in and to talk about their life before you and even their life throughout you but it's a year-long journal I don't know what it's called but I'm gonna try and find it again I saw it and it asks questions that you would never normally ask your parents and I realized I want to and I want to go back and put all these

pictures and and things from when they were younger to actually ask the stories behind the pictures and write them when they were younger to actually ask the stories behind the pictures and write them down in the album. Because there's one thing about having like footage of, and being like, oh, this is a nice picture, but when you have the depth and the story behind it, it makes it so much more meaningful. So I'm gonna do that with my grandma,

and my parents are just gonna tell you to do that with your mom as well. Remember when you tried to interview your grandma? I did try to interview my grandma. I wish there was a way of doing it where she doesn't realise my grandma gets into like performer mode when the camera's out or she gets really serious. But I still think I learned so much from that.

You need to do it in a way when you're just sitting in a room and just have a camera there. But I do think it's important. I follow this page on Instagram that's all about the questions you should ask your parents. Oh my God, look, this car does hand gestures. What is that? Like, to change things on the screen.

Oh. These days. What do you mean? I've seen that on BMWs. I forgot. You can change songs and stuff like this. OK, but what are you doing right now? That's the hand gesture.

I don't know what I'm doing right now, but that would be like if a song is playing. Yeah, I think it's so nice getting to know your parents before you to be able to understand them and how they are with you now. I definitely want to invest time in doing that. Yeah, definitely. It was really beautiful, really, really special. And her book is amazing. It's called, I Think You'll Be Happy. It's really, really special. It's really great to have her as a guest on the podcast.

I was going to say, my sister's wedding was one of those times that I feel like I really got to have her as a guest on the podcast. Oh, I was going to say, my sister's wedding was one of those times that I feel like I really got to celebrate her. Yeah. And I think it's so interesting. You get very few opportunities to celebrate the people that you love. And you almost have to take all of them and create more.

Because people don't take that much time to celebrate their own lives. And we don't take time to celebrate the people's lives that we love. Yeah, so true. But these are a good opportunity to do that if you do it properly. Yeah. So, who are you wearing? No, no.

Oh my God, look. OK, ready. I love how you have energy for stuff like that. I do, I do. OK. Now, I was just thinking that my sister's wedding was honestly just so much fun. Talking about spending time with family and talking about doing amazing things. So my sister had five events across seven days. She had a proper Indian wedding. With an average attendance of

over 300 people at every single event. And that's a small Indian wedding. And that was a small Indian wedding. But it was insane and I was like more run down from her wedding than I was from my tour. And I think the reason is, because it was so emotional as well. Oh my God, this boy was crying. I must have cried. Yeah, I must have cried.

He was just crying every day. I must have cried every day, every hour, the whole ceremony. You were crying as well. He looked across, I would look across him and he'd be be crying and then naturally when people cry, I cry. Obviously I just also love their relationship,

it's so sweet, it's one of the sweetest brothers sister relationships I've ever come across. And there was one time where he turned to me and he'd just stop crying and then suddenly I look at him and he's crying again, he looks at me and he goes, she was saying her vows, she's so well spoken. I was like, okay, great, yeah, she was saying her vows. She's so well spoken. Yeah. I was like, okay, great.

Yeah, she did really good speeches. Like she went to Elocution classes when she was young. She did it, she did it, she did it. And she was just really, he was welling up at her speaking so beautifully. I think she said like one line. But you were crying as well. Of course I was crying. We love her.

She's just like. She's a baby. Yeah, she's your kid. Yeah, it was really cute. It was really cute. And then I cried throughout my whole speech. Cryed throughout the whole speech, blubbering away. It was really sweet, though. I don't think... Do you know what it was?

Actually, the speech was half sweet and half sassy. Yeah. The first half was legendary. The first half, normally, you know, in speeches, people have a bit of banter. Jay took it all the way bantering. It was a full-on comedy, sir. It was. Who knew you were funny? I did. You did. I think what it was, right, about the wedding was, I actually realised just how much my sister loves me,

and I realised how much I love her. Like, it was like, that was what I was feeling. I... You... How you didn't know how much your sister loved you. You are literally the epitome of like, you're just everything to her. There is nothing you could do wrong in her eyes. And even if you do, she's forgiven it within like five seconds. Well, I think it's also, you know what it is.

But she knows how much you love her, that's why. I think because we're far, I think sometimes I have to put some of my feelings aside to get on with my focus and my drive. And there's an element of where I have to... I don't get to express those emotions all year round. But I am carrying them internally and then they all come out in that moment. Because I don't get to see my sister every week, I don't get to talk to her all the time. And when I do even, I've never found phone conversations to be as fulfilling and as deep as being in person.

And so I feel like I carry that love around and then it was all, all out to come out. You were so wonderful. You helped her with the wedding so much. And she was so grateful to you. And you did so much for the wedding. It was amazing. And she did an amazing job planning an epic wedding.

Oh my God. I was like, I don't know how someone plans five events in seven days. It's such in so much detail. Yeah, it's insane. It was. Oh, is that the sound of the car? Yeah.

Sounds like a spaceship. It does. Feels like a spaceship. It does. 22 degrees. Exactly. I'm so hungry. And you're excited for some Mexican rice? Two, three, two, one, go. Excited. I'm so hungry. And are you excited for some Mexican rice?

Yeah, honestly, I am. Are you excited for some stuffed pepper? We're not going to stuff pepper. Are you excited for some cabbage? Are you excited for some cilantro? Yeah, are you? Are you excited for some avocados? Oh my God, fresh guac.

Are you excited for some taco seasoning? Yeah. Are you excited for some avocado? Oh my god, fresh guac. Are you excited for some taco seasoning? Yeah. Are you excited for some bell peppers? Yeah. Are you excited for some vegan aids? Mm-hmm. Are you excited for some sour cream? Yes.

Are you going to see? I remember everything on the list. I actually remembered your recipe. Oh my god, have you know that game that's like, I went to the store and I bought, but that's usually not for the controller, but I went to the store and I bought, but that's usually an alphabet for a word, but I went to the store and I bought beans. Asafoetida.

Got you there, didn't I? I went to the store and I bought Asafoetida and beans. I went to the store and got some Asafoetida beans and cantamaris. There's no reason for this to be in the actual card. There is, this is great. I went to the store and I bought Asafoetida beans. What did you say?

Cantamaris. I went to the store and I bought asafoetida beans. What did you say? Can tomatoes. Can tomatoes and dried oregano. OK. So that was good. That was fun. Now we're going to cook and then eat. Let's do it. All right.

If everyone wants to see me try and cook this recipe from Radhi's book for Radhi, tune in to YouTube. Yes, please. Let's see me try and cook this recipe from Radhi's book for Radhi. Tune in to YouTube. Yes, please. If you love this episode, you'll love my interview with Dr. Gabor Mathe on understanding your trauma and how to heal emotional wounds to start moving on from the past. Everything in nature grows only where it's vulnerable. So a tree doesn't grow where it's hard and thick, does it?

It goes where it's soft and green and vulnerable. There's a lot of talk about mindfulness these days, which is fantastic. I mean, we all want to be more present and self aware, more patient, less judgmental. We discuss all these themes on the podcast, but it's hard to actually be mindful in your day to day life. That's where calm comes in. I've been working with calm for a few years now with the goal of making mindfulness fun and easy.

Calm has all sorts of content to help you build positive habits, shift your self-talk, reframe your negative thoughts, and generally feel better in your daily life. So many incredible options from the most knowledgeable experts in the world, along with renowned meditation teachers. You can also check out my 7-minute daily series to help you live more mindfully each and every day. Right now, listeners of On Purpose get 40% off a subscription to Calm Premium at calm.com forward slash j. That's c-a-l-m dot com forward slash j-a-y.

For 40% off, calm your mind, change your life. Dressing, dressing. Oh, French dressing. Exactly. Ha ha ha. Oh, that's good. I'm AJ Jacobs and my current obsession is puzzles. And that has given birth to my new podcast, The Puzzler.

Something about Mary Poppins? Exactly. This is fun. You can get your daily puzzle nuggets delivered straight to your ears. Listen to The Puzzler every day on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Our 20s are often seen as this golden decade, our time to be carefree, make mistakes, and figure out our lives. But what can psychology teach us about this time? I'm Gemma Spegg, the host of The Psychology of Your 20s. Each week, we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, and much more to explore the science behind our experiences. The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Spegg, listen now on the iHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.