On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Jenna Kutcher ON: Manifesting Your Ideal Work Life Balance & How to Avoid Burnout

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

Do you want to meditate daily with me? Go to go.calm.com/onpurpose to get 40% off a Calm Premium Membership. Experience the Daily Jay. Only on CalmJay Shetty talks to Jenna Kutcher about her newest book called, How Are You, Really? Sometimes, when people ask us how we are, we tend to lie and just reply, “I’m fine.” We even lie to ourselves to make us feel better even though we really are not. But what difference would it make if we actually try to get to know ourselves better and get to know how we are…really?Jenna Kutcher is a born-and-raised Minnesota wife, mother, and entrepreneur who aims for two things daily: helping others wake up to life and staying in comfy pants. Creator and host of the top-rated Goal Digger Podcast, she’s helped thousands redefine success and chase bold dreams through her decade-long work as a leading online personality and educator.Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/What We Discuss:00:00 Intro03:01 How are you, really?06:47 The journey of writing a book07:46 Learn to listen to yourself13:11 Don’t feel guilty to rest17:07 Welcome change in your life21:17 The romanticization of hustle culture25:06 Setting boundaries29:14 How to say no34:22 Giving ourselves permission to rely on others40:14 The best mentorship is someone’s honest experience46:37 What’s a worthy goal?53:20 Jenna’s Final FiveEpisode ResourcesGet a free special bonus from Jenna when you order her book How Are You, Really? by visiting http://www.jennakutcher.com/jayJenna Kutcher | InstagramJenna Kutcher | WebsiteJenna Kutcher | PodcastHow Are You, Really?: Living Your Truth One Answer at a TimeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I am Yom Le Van Zant and I'll be your host for The R Spot. Each week listeners will call me live to discuss their relationship issues. Nothing will tear a relationship down faster than two people with no vision. There's y'all are just floppin' around like fish out of water. Mommy, daddy, your ex, I'll be talking about those things and so much more. Check out the R-Spawn on the iHeart video app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of

the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Louis Hamilton, and many, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast. Join the journey soon. When my daughter ran off to hop trains,

I was terrified I'd never see her again, so I followed her into the train yard. This is what it sounds like inside the box car. And into the city of the rails, there I found a surprising world, so brutal and beautiful that it changed me, but the rails do that to everyone. There is another world out there, and if you want to play with the devil,

you're going to find them down in the rail yard. I'm Danielle Morton, come with me to find out what waits for us and the city of the rails. Listen to city of the rails, on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or cityoftherails.com. We're supposed to work like we don't have children and parent like we don't have a job. Wow.

And that can really weigh on you. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. Now I'm really lucky in life to have a great group of friends and these friends are just not doing everyday things, they're doing incredible things and helping other people do that as well.

Now one of these friends is a guest I have on the show today. She has a new book out that I can't wait for you to hear about. And she's something exciting as well for you to discover when you pre-order the book. So I wanted to hang around for that as well. I'm excited. And remember, I always talk about how pre-orders really help authors, orders really help authors and as an author myself. I know how much hours and time and energy goes into writing a book.

So when one of my friends puts in that energy, puts in that effort. I love to support them with all my heart and all my joy. And I love that our community does the same. But today's guest is none other than Jenna Kutcher, born and raised in Minnesota, wife, mother, and entrepreneur who aims for two things daily, helping others wake up to life and staying in comfy pants. Creator and host of the top rated Goldigger podcast, she's helped thousands redefine success and chase bold dreams through her decade-long work as a leading online personality and

educator. Welcome to the show, Jenna Kutcher and And today we're talking about her new book, How Are You Really? Jenna, thank you for being here. Oh my gosh, Jay. This genuinely feels like such a dream come true. I'm getting so many brownie points in my mom's world for being with you today. But thank you for having me. This is such a dream. Well, no, we became friends. I think now it's like three years ago, I think when we're in Porto Rico together, we've got to be with your beautiful family as well. And then we hung out in Napa more recently.

And I know you and Rady have been connecting and collaborating. And so I was so happy to do this with you, honestly. It's my greatest joy to just see friends do incredible things and support them. And I think that all of us are really looking for that. I was saying to my team today that I really love doing what I do, but what I'm excited about is having history with people. So I love the idea. One of my greatest values is when I'm 50 and then when I'm 75, it's like, I wanna look back and I want someone to look back with. And that's why I think friendships

are so important to me too, because when you can look back at 20, 30, 40, 50 years with the same people and say, look what we did, that's what we did and that's what we did together. I really appreciate that. So thank you for giving me this opportunity. But the title of your book is, how are you really?

And I love that you very much emphasize the importance of that question and the depth of that question, because I think today we ask, how are you all the time? So I wanted to ask you to start off with an Nala answer the question too, to be honest and vulnerable. How are you really today in this moment? And then I'll ever go and telling you how I am really too. I can't wait. You know, I didn't make a mistake, but when I named the book that, I should have known that every time I talk to someone, now they ask, and I'm being called into honesty, which I think is so beautiful.

And there is such a big differentiator between, like, how are you? And it's like, good, fine, busy, but like when you feel safe, especially when you're with someone that you love and you know and they like lean in and they're like, but how are you really? You're like, okay, and I've been describing this season

of my life, so I have two little ones, very little, so one is three, one is a few months old. And I said, the season of life I feel stretched. And I feel stretched in a beautiful way because I've so much love for being a mom, but I also have never loved my work more. And it just sometimes feels like a lot of love to carry. And it's like the fullness of it is never lost on me.

And so we're in the season of like total sleep deprivation at home. My toddler recently started sleeping in a big girl bed. There are probably five times a night where there is a little one on my feet saying, mommy, mommy. And I'm in this season where it's like this energy can only come from something other than myself,

because I feel so electrically energized and excited about the work I'm doing, but also like the life I'm living offline. So to answer your question, it all feels heavy and full, but in the best way possible. Now, how are you, really? Yeah, I know. Thank you for that very full, rich and textured answer. I think one of the things I loved about what you said, and it's inspired my response as well, is you were saying that you're in a particular season.

And I think that that is such a healthy way of thinking how you are. And I think often we do one of two things. We look at things too minutely where it's like, this is how I am right now. And that can feel like a lot of pressure because I could feel totally different within 30 seconds of drinking some water or going on a walk or looking outside the window. Or we sometimes say, well, this is how the year's going. And that's sometimes scary as well, because it feels like we can't control anything

until December 31st, and we have to wait till Jan 1st again. So I love that you use the word season. And I would say that I'm in a season right now, and I feel like I'm constantly in this season. I'm in a season of like lots of growth, lots of being outside of my comfort zone. And I'm in a season also of, I'm actually finishing writing my second book right now.

So I'm in the process of completing a creative journey that takes everything out of me. And I'm about to open up to a new world of creativity because I'm now gonna have that time and energy back to translate to another direction. So I feel like I'm at this transition and I find that transitions are always tiring and exhausting because you're about to complete,

let go and sign off on something and then you're thinking about what to do next and that's always like that. Little moment of discomfort and unease that comes with that transition. So that's how I am really. Oh my gosh. You know, it's interesting. There's so much that goes into writing a book that I think is surprising. And until you do the journey, you don't recognize that. And one thing that I think is fascinating, that our friend Brenda B Bershart, actually told me that I thought was so beautiful,

is that when you're writing a book, it really does feel like your life's work, right? Like you pour your heart and your soul and your everything into it. He said something to me and he said, you know, Jenna, this is not your life's work, this is an important piece of work in your life. And I thought, oh, that is so beautiful

because it's so tempting to like dive headfirst in and like kind of crawl out of the hole when you finally get there. So I thought that was such a good reminder for all of us who are working on projects or relationships or careers or whatever that might be or your health of like this isn't your life's work. It's just an important piece of work in your life.

Yeah, wow, that's such a refreshing perspective. And I love that little shift in mindset that changes it completely. But let's dive in. You know, both of us gave very, I think, honest answers and vulnerable answers. And, you know, I think that it's probably taken us some time to get to be able to do that. And you talk about this in your book, the idea that some of us actually are afraid to answer that question and acknowledge the problems and the challenges and the discomfort that comes with that question. So we often find it easier to say,

I'm fine, it's okay, you know, the usual, the same old, but you're actually saying that the same old, but you're actually saying that it's healthy to try and acknowledge, accept, and go there. Why is it critical necessary and integral for us to try and face the real answer to that question? Why is that so important? When I think about the question, how are you really? A lot of times people think about it in context of conversation with someone else, but really when I think about the question, how are you really? A lot of times people think about it in context of conversation with someone else. But really, when I think about it, it's about coming home to yourself. And we live in this culture where it's like we're constantly distracted. It's really easy for me as a mom to see it with children, where you're like,

children don't know how to be bored anymore. They don't know how to be creative anymore. They're so used to being like pacified with screens or different things. And when I look at it through the lens of children, I suddenly see, oh wait, adults are like 10 times worse. We are the kind of people who bring our phones to the restroom with us. Like we skip Shavasana at the end of a yoga session

because we don't believe we deserve the rest. Like there are so many ways that we avoid getting quiet with ourselves. And it's really easy to do because we are busier than ever, right? Like busy is the badge of honor. If you're busy, you must be doing well. And what I think is really fascinating about that is that we start to tune out like the whispers of like our own soul, like the divine pieces of ourselves that are guiding us so

that we listen to the noise of the world and it gets really uncomfortable and it gets really hard to discern like what is my intuition? What is my soul telling me? What is the world telling me? And how do these two coexist? And I think that in truth,

you know, with the culture that we're in, they have to coexist. But there's a difference between being the passenger on a journey and being in the driver's seat. And a lot of times the noise of the world is the driver's seat for us. And our intuition might be that garment that hasn't been updated since 2010. That's telling us, like, redirect, redirect, redirect. And I feel like whenever I talk to people and they're going through a massive life change, whether it's a breakup or a career change or a health change, you ask them,

like did you have that inner knowing? Like did you have that ping? And a lot of times they'll say, yeah, I knew something was off, or I knew I needed a change, or I knew I was out of alignment, but I didn't listen. And so this idea of like how are you really isn't necessarily just about in conversation, it's about how am I really?

Am I faking that I'm enjoying my life? Am I putting on a public persona for the world online, but offline and miserable? Am I really yearning for something different? And so it's really this invitation to get quiet with yourself and to learn how to invite in that margin in that time.

And Jay, you are one of the best at helping people get to that place. I mean, your meditations have been this constant in my life because it's this invitation of getting quiet. And I don't know about you, but for a long time, I've always just told myself like, I can't meditate. My brain is too busy.

I operate at a higher level, all these things. But I had to train myself in how to do that, just as I had to train myself to how to do that just as I had to train myself to run a race or to work as hard as I do. Yeah, I love what you spoke about there and how it's beyond the conversation, but the idea of listening to our to our real selves and listening to that voice and you're so right. I loved what you said about how we are constantly feeling or we say things like I wasn't aligned or I wasn't listening then.

So that means we know it's there, but we keep trying to put it off. And it's almost like, I mean, this is a very crude example, but it's just reality. I was having a bit of pain physically recently and it was recurring. Like it just kept coming up and more often. And then my trainer, my physical trainer, he said to me, he said, have you had this before we were working out or have you just had it now and that got me to think about it.

And then I started to think about it and I couldn't remember when. And then this weekend I went to a trampoline park with one of my closest friends in their kit. Like, their son's like two years old. And so we went to a trampoline park, messing around with him on the trampoline park. Obviously I got too carried away. I felt like I stretched something, came back again.

I was like, oh no, it's definitely triggered through physical activity. Realized that two years ago, I felt the same thing while playing basketball. And I was like, wow, I've been feeling something physically for two years, but I waited for it to get really bad and happen more often to listen to it. Pay attention. Pay attention.

And that's something physical, what about something emotional and mental and relational and people based. And so I love what you said about the idea of listening and silence and stillness being the best place you can listen. How have you learned, and I'm intrigued by this, how have you learned as someone who is busy, who is a mother, who is an entrepreneur, who is a wife, you play so many roles,

you're writing a book on top of all of that. How have you found what is stillness to you? And I'm asking that to you as who you are, because I think when people talk to me, they know I meditate, they know I have these practices, I was lucky enough to be among for three years where I learn so many practices, but as someone who's in the real world

in challenging situations constantly, what does stillness mean for you and what does it look like for you? Yeah, there's this chapter in the book called My Soul Shavasana because I used to go to yoga and I did it for the workout. I like missed the whole point, right?

Like it's called a practice, not an art. Like we're supposed to be practicing it. And as an achiever and someone who loves to achieve, I always was the person in the class like comparing myself like, did I get that behind? Can I do the headstand? And at the end of the class, it pained me to lay on the mat. Like I told myself like you didn't deserve this,

you didn't sweat hard enough, you know, all of these things. And when I look at my life, it's so easy to delay rest. It's like we keep pushing the finish line further, and further, I'll rest when, I'll rest then, I'll celebrate when, and we like keep pushing these lines out so that we never arrive. And what I think is fascinating

is that I've honestly had to learn how to rest. I've literally had to look at it kind of like a couch to 5K, but in reverse. Like, I'm running the 5K daily. How do I get myself back on the couch without feeling guilty, without feeling like I'm lazy or complacent or any of those things? Because I really think our culture has confused

content-ness with complacency. And if we're content, we believe that we should be achieving more. We're not using our full potential. But I think being content is the most beautiful gift you can give yourself. It means that you're fully in the moment. You're fully filled with gratitude. You're fully present.

You're in life as it's happening. And so for me, getting quiet with myself, there's this part at the end of the book where I joke because I'm like, I love listening to like incredible personal development people who are like, you know, you wake up and you do your morning pages and you do your meditation and you do all these things because I think that's beautiful. But in this stage of life, I am clinging to every second of sleep I can possibly get because I'm up in the middle of the night and so I'm like, oh my God, I would love those things.

But rest comes in these tiny, infinite small moments for me. And one of the things that I've had to do is that I often feel pulled in many directions. So there's this line out there for working mothers, because I believe all mothers are working, but specifically women with careers who are also mothers. And it's like, we're supposed to work like we don't have children and parent like we don't have a job.

And that can really weigh on you. Like it can really pull you. And so I've had to adopt this practice of when I cross the threshold into a room, whether it's an office, my bedroom, the house, the living room, my daughter's room, like whatever that is, I have to really like plant my feet and like actually cross through with intention

to just be here now. Because my brain could be thinking about an email while I'm reading Dr. Seuss and I could be writing an email and thinking about nap time or nursing or whatever it is. And so I've really had to just invite stillness in really small segments of my life and prioritize that in a meaningful way. But I really yearn for and look forward to those days where I can have more of that. And I think that, again, we look at seasons, and if I've learned anything specifically about motherhood, it's all temporary. It's all fleeting, it all goes by so fast. And so just kind of being where you are, but knowing where you want to go, that's kind of where I'm sitting today. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah, I couldn't agree more too.

I wonder, as you were saying then, and I'm literally just sitting with you and thinking with you and hearing you out. And I'm like, how have you made sense, Jenna, of your identity of who you are? Because the book really does dive into who you are. And I find like, we adopt so many titles. I often say to my team, I'm like,

I find it really hard to choose a title for who I am and what I do, I really don't enjoy it. And so whenever they ask, like, Oh, Jay, what do you want us to put from your bio onto this thing? And I don't like that. Human being being human. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

And when someone asks me like, who are you and what do you do? My answer to that is I am someone who's trying to help people discover their purpose and live up to their potential, whatever that may be. Like that's who I am. I'm not an author or a podcaster or a coach or a, which is all the things I have to say I am to make sense. And then I think about that, how many things do we say about ourselves so that it makes

sense to other people, but may stop making sense or feeling sense like to ourselves. So how have you made sense of your identity as more titles, more expectations, more achievements and things come in the mix, more responsibilities? How do you see yourself? I'm intrigued by that. I am Yamla and on my podcast, The R-Spot, we're having inspirational, educational, and sometimes difficult and challenging conversations about relationships. They may not have the capacity to give you what you need and insisting means that you are abusing yourself now. You human! That means that you're crazy as hell, just like the rest of us. When a relationship breaks down, I take copious notes and I want to share them with you.

Anybody with two eyes and a brain knows that too much of Afraidos sauce is just no good for you. But if you're going to eat it, they're not going to stop you. So he's going to continue to give you the Alfredo sauce and put it even on your grits if you don't stop him. Listen to the art spot on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. A good way to learn about a place

is to talk to the people that live there. There's just this sexy vibe and Montreal, this pulse, this energy. Bois min is seen as a very snotty city. People call it Bois Angeles. New Orleans is a town that never forgets its pay. A great way to get to know a place is to get invited to a dinner party.

Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Newdum and not lost as my new travel podcast where a friend and I go places, see the sights, and try to finagle our way into a dinner party. We're kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party. What lost is my new travel podcast where a friend and I go places, see the sights, and try to finagle our way into a dinner party. We're kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party. It doesn't always work out. I would love that, but I have like a Cholala who is aggressive towards strangers.

I love the dogs. We learn about the places we're visiting, yes, but we also learn about ourselves. I don't spend as much time thinking about how I'm going to die alone when I'm traveling. But I get to travel with someone I love. Oh see we love I love you too And also we get to eat as much as I love you too Mike's a lot of therapy goes behind that. You're so white. I love it Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on I Heart.

I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our experiences by tackling unusual questions, so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans?

Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to intercosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, I love this because I really struggled. So there's this idea of identity foreclosure. I learned about it on my podcast.

There was an amazing woman, Dr. Maya Shankar, who came on and spoke about safety. Yeah, I love Maya. She's amazing. Yeah, she's amazing. She's amazing. And she was talking about it. And she said something that had just stuck with me. And she's like, it's the same reason why we hang on to jeans that don't fit.

And we complete degrees when we know we don't want to even finish them and work in that area. It's this idea of like, well, I've already come so far. And why would I make that a waste of time? Or why would I change? And I have really had to learn how to welcome change into my life because I feel like I am constantly on the precipice of like who I am becoming. And for me, my career path has been all over the place. So I worked in corporate America, had a fancy five word title, then decided to pick up a

camera. My camera became my vehicle out of that job. And Jay, just like you were saying, like author podcast, all these things, those are just the vehicles to get your mission out into the world, right? They're not necessarily who you are, they're just the methods to get the message. So it's been super interesting to me because I feel like I'm constantly changing and evolving, and to me the mission matters so much more than the method. For me, being a mom is my number one thing. It's like my identity marker. And I think some of it too is because I yearned for it for so long.

We went through a lot of obstacles in starting that. And so I always said, like, if I'm ever fortunate enough to have that title, I will never take that title for granted because I watch other people get that. And it pained me to see, like, you don't know the miracle that this is. But I agree, I think that we are visionaries and the way that we do our work is like the missionaries of the mission. And so it's like the methods of that. And so I always try, and I'm from the Midwest.

So a lot of people aren't super familiar with the world we're in. And so try describing a podcast to your 93-year-old grandfather. I'm like, grandpa, it's kind of like a sermon where I talk about business and it's like a radio show, but you can listen to it anytime. And so it's like, none of that matters more than the mission

and who we are. And I think who we are offline is more important than who we are online. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I couldn't agree with you more. I think the... I was saying to a friend yesterday, the other day that I feel like the stuff that I get to do in my private life is even more fun than the stuff I get to do in my public life. And most people are unaware of the private life. And I get joy out of it. And I think there's

something about that that I think is important to protect. What I find fascinating about what you do though, especially with this book is like, you're really trying getting people to bust the myths that our generation kind of adopted, like hustling harder, having to have this, have that wake up at this certain time. And tell me about the times when you did hustle hard.

And because what I find different about when you say that is you're not someone who didn't know how to hustle hard. You're someone who definitely knows how to hustle hard. And was successful hustling hard, but then realized it's shortcomings, which is why I appreciate it from your perspective. So when you're in that corporate job in America and you're hustling hard, can you walk us through about why the romanticization about hustling hard kind of, you know, didn't

work for you? So I want to preface this because I think this is an important point and I think your audience will really resonate with this, but I feel like we live in such a polarizing time in so many different ways. But part of that polarization is that we feel like there's two camps, especially for achievers. There is the hustle culture camp, and then there's the manifestation camp.

The manifestation camp and the hustle camp, they believe that only one of these can exist. And so what's interesting about me and my book and my ideology is it's kind of like where the woo meets the work, like where the vision meets the action. And it's in a sustainable way that keeps you in your life. And so I tell this story about how I was in my corporate job and I sat down with my boss

and she gives me my five year plan. Like, gives it to me, doesn't ask me about it, doesn't ask me like, what do you want, what do you see for yourself, like what's next for you? And it was this wake up call of like, I am literally climbing a ladder that someone else is putting in front of me without ever checking me. And is this what I want? Is this what I envision for my life? Do I want the promotion if it means more responsibility?

And I've had these different seasons in my life. And I think that everyone hits them where we look at our time and money, but we don't look at our energy. And I think energy is everything. And so there are seasons of my life where I traded my time in order to make money. And then there are seasons of my life

where I have been able to take money and get back time, right? Things like Instacart or Uber or whatever that looks like. But a lot of times we forget about our energy. And I don't know about you, but I've arrived at certain places and I've gotten to these goals or these big milestones, and I land there and I'm like, I thought this would feel different. It looks great, but I thought it would feel different. Maybe I'm not going hard enough. Maybe I need to do more. Maybe it's the next thing that'll feel good. And I've recognized that that's not the case. Like I wanna live a life that feels better than it looks.

And so I have had these seasons of hustle that have led to burnout, but after the burnout for me, I always have this breakthrough. And the breakthrough is usually that somewhere in the course of the pursuit I got off the path. And now I've got to redirect or figure out a new map or reassess the direction I'm heading.

And I've pivoted so many times in my career and thankfully I've pivoted successfully, but I've gone from being a photographer to a water color artist, to a speaker, to a podcaster, to a course creator, all of these different things. And I believe that people have followed me because of my energy, not because of the time or the money, but like they can feel the heart and they can sense the alignment. And so I feel like there's this really call to people to pay attention to like, how are you energetically feeling?

Like I haven't slept a full night in three weeks, but I am so energized and excited because I have never been in alignment better in my work life. Like I've never felt more in alignment. And so it's this interesting thing where we focus so much on time and money, and that a lot of times, attributes to the burnout, attributes to the hustle. But if we check in with ourselves and see where our energy is, I think that can be the

compass that then guides us forward. What are some of the things that you've found that you feel drain your or our energy? And what are some of the things that give and drive your energy? Because as soon as you talked about the ratio of time, money, and energy, I was completely with you. I think those money and time are always like the levers that we're trying to play with. And the real thing that we're missing out on is energy. So I'm completely with you. But yeah, what are the things that drain and drive your energy or you think generally maybe more scalably drain and drive all of our energy?

Yeah. I feel like if you pull up your calendar and you hate what you see coming up, that's a good sign that you're out of alignment. Have you ever looked at your calendar and you're like, who booked this? And then you're like, oh no, that was me. I said yes to all of these things. And I have been in seasons like that and really recognize like I am not looking forward to life.

Like I am dreading these agreements or I'm overextended or I'm stretched too thin and I feel it. And a lot of times it's us saying yes and not having boundaries. And so for me, I'm actually quite introverted. A lot of our friends, surprisingly, are where the people that can stand on a stage and talk to thousands of people, but if we get into a room with strangers, we're like the ones like awkwardly standing in the corner. And so really paying attention to like what sort of boundaries do

I need to have in place that protect my energy, but allow me to do work that's meaningful. And so when the pandemic hit and life shifted, I was like, I have been training my entire life for this. I started my business in a town of 1200. I live in small town, Minnesota. I've been trying to convince people that so much can be done digitally over the years. And all of a sudden, I'm like, oh, I can like open my laptop, do my work, close it and get back to life.

And so I think it takes a really great deal of self awareness because my husband drew you know him. He's an extrovert. He could talk to anyone. It is his like greatest dream to like go to the gym and talk to Bob while they're walking around the path like and figure out his life story. And to me, that kills me like small talk kills me. And so it's like, what is this self-awareness

on what drains you and what drives you? And how do you try to pursue this blend of it? Because I think we're over this idea of balance. Like if you look at the definition of balance, it's maintaining a perfect balance of something. And like balance is a moment. It's not like something that you can master. And so for me, it's like, what is this blend look like?

If I say my values are being a mom, but I'm committing to a work trip that takes me away for two weeks, am I in alignment with what I say is important to me. And I think a lot of people right now, if they looked at their calendar and they said, you know, my values are my health or my family or my relationships or this important work that I'm doing, but they looked at their calendar, they would see that they might have gotten off course, and it's not a bad thing, it's just an invitation to course correct.

So in that example, which I think was such a great one, are you saying that we have to be more selective over our priorities in a particular season? Absolutely. If you are able to, and honestly, Jay, and I think it's important to note, like it's a privilege to be able to say yes and no to opportunities, right?

Some people don't have that invitation to just say, you know, I'm not gonna agree to that if that's something that's gonna pay the bills. But at the same point in time, one thing that I've been doing a lot lately is if I get an invitation when I'm in person with someone because I just like love People's energy and I'm so prone to say yes I'm like the kind Midwest girl. I've been saying let me check my calendar and get back to you on that because a lot of times

When I over commit on things energetically in the moment it feels right But then when I look at it a week from now a month from now I'm like, oh shoot like I shouldn't have committed to this So there are boundaries that I think can be really important that can buy yourself the time to really And when I look at it a week from now, a month from now, I'm like, ah shoot, like I shouldn't have committed to this. So there are boundaries that I think can be really important that can buy yourself the time to really assess, is this the right opportunity? Is it shiny? Is it going to guide me forward?

Is it going to serve others? Is this a clear yes or no? And I always think it's either like a hell yes or a heck no. And you've got to pick more of the hell yeses in your life. How have you learned to say no recently to people who you deeply love and people you know care for you and then you still want to say no for your values like have you have you had to do that recently like how have you? I'm so good at it.

Yeah, okay, tell us, walk us through that a little bit because I think yeah, I had to do it the other day. I had someone reach out and they're like, yeah, I need you to do this thing. And I sent them my response, but I wanna hear yours. And then I'll answer it. But yeah, tell me how you deal with that. I mean, treat. So boundaries are something that I think people are afraid of.

Because when you think about boundaries, you think about like keeping something or someone out, right? Like you almost picture up like a fence around and that feels scary. But I have found that boundaries keep us in our life, like the life that we're meant to be leaving. And when we have good boundaries, it really invices to like be awake to the life

that we say we want. So for example, when I was pregnant with my first daughter, Coco, I blacked out the entire year following her birth. I had not a single commitment on my calendar for an entire year. Now, was that scary? Absolutely.

Did I fear that I would lose momentum? Yes. Did I wonder would I become irrelevant in that year? Of course, but I said that being a mother was the greatest gift, the biggest miracle that I could ever invite into my life. And you better believe I was gonna live that way. And I just didn't know what to expect.

I didn't know if I would thrive, if I would be flailing, like I didn't know, and I wanted to give myself space in time to adjust to that new life and that new version of who I was. And so I put up bumpers, like I think about bowling and I think about boundaries as like bumpers that keep us in the lane, that keep us aligned and from falling in the gutter.

And so I told my team, I said, if any inquiry has come in, bumpers that keep us in the lane, that keep us aligned and from falling in the gutter. And so I told my team, I said, if any inquiry has come in, I don't care who it is. I want for you to just send this polite decline to them. I don't want to hear about it because I'm going to want to say yes. I don't want to see it because it's going to make me antsy that I should do it. And I just want you to send this out. And if it's the right thing, I truly believe it will come back in the right timing, I believe that that will happen. And so I also have a note on my phone that I use often,

and it's when I get an invitation. That's wonderful, or from somebody I love. And all it says is, oh my goodness, like thank you so much for considering me for this opportunity. I'm so flattered and I'm so excited for you. Right now, I have to politely decline. And I want for you to know that this, in me declining,

it is not a reflection of you or your opportunity or the work that you're doing. It is solely a reflection of the values that I'm living. And me saying yes to you right now means that I'm gonna have to say no to what is most important to me. And right now, that is my family. I truly hope you understand. I can't wait to work with you in the future.

I'm cheering you on as you go, wishing you the best. And I also included caveat that says, I hope that in me doing this, it is an invitation for you to lean in and live out the values in your life as well. Wow. What a message. That's amazing. That's that's such a beautiful message. I haven't memorized because I need it all. was like, wow, that is, that's like a deep genuine word for word message. I love that. I mean, even just the depth of that message is so powerful. And I just want to take a moment. Everyone is listening or watching just acknowledge that, that often you can have a message that says, Hey, thank you so much. I'm grateful, but can't do this right now. I hope you understand. And that's great.

But the depth of that message to even remind someone to follow their own values, to explain what your value is right now. I think so much is lost in not communicating our values and our priorities. And I don't think that we need to create a world where we can more easily explain our priorities and our values without feeling uncomfortable about them.

And I think often people think they need to lie or make something up or construct another. I'm busy. Right, I'm busy. Yeah. And it's like when someone gets that message, not only do they not understand, you actually haven't helped them understand

what they need to learn for themselves as well. And so, yeah, I went through it recently, I sent a similar message where I was really explaining that I was like, you know, this is why I struggle with this. And I was even explaining my struggle and how hard it is for me to say no, but how I know that if I say yes, I'm actually going to let you down even more later. And I just wanted to make you aware of that. And yes, I did tell my life story a little bit, but

it was the same point that I was like, I need to really explain the context behind this message and this no. And I think what that ends up doing is it actually creates really beautiful opportunities. And I'll always say to someone, I'll say, I'm sure you can understand it. I'd love to know if you do. And 99% of the time someone will come back and say, of course I understand it. I protect my time in the same way, or whatever it may be. And then you go, oh, okay, we actually are more aligned than we think. So I love that advice. It's so great.

Jenna, so, you know, the book's in three parts. The first part is who you are. Yes. And that's what we've been talking about. I would highly recommend that everyone dives into it because the book talks about everything from Jenna's childhood to, you know, her feelings about motherhood. And I am not asking her to repeat what's in the book talks about everything from Jenna's childhood to, you know, her feelings about motherhood. And I am not asking her to repeat what's in the book.

I would love you to go and read the book and dive into it. And then helps you figure out who you are and how to be clear about your values and priorities which we're realizing are so integral to know. And as we know, if we don't know our values and priorities, we will be living based on someone else's or an adopted sense of values and priorities. But in the second part of the book, you talk about who has you and who you have, right?

And this, I think I gravitated towards this a lot because I think sometimes we, if we have good networks and communities and families and units, we often take it for granted because we assume that's just how life is. So can you talk to me a bit about how you've constructed healthy community and support systems around you and giving yourselves the permission to lean on others. Because I find like that's what most of us don't want to do is we don't

want to depend on others and make people feel we're dependent on that. So the second part is that who you have and who has you because I recognize that like we are in this season of life and in this area of like the world where we have never been more connected, but we also don't feel fully known. And I think there is nothing worse than being in a room filled with people and feeling lonely. Like loneliness isn't just the act of being alone. It's feeling like people don't know the real you. And I feel like we're in this world where

that is so common. It's like, have you ever entered a building and you know that if you just exit stage life left, like no one would question who you were, where you were if you were even there. And I feel like we're kind of walking through life in that way. And we're also in this era where people post, you know, bachelor parties and there's like 20 people in matching swimsuits and you're like, I have like three close friends and like is something wrong with me or like, why don't I have this like village around me?

And a lot of it is because we aren't showing up, allowing ourselves to fully know others and to be fully known. And I think that the pandemic actually gave us this really unique invitation because for so long we were able to separate like career Jenna and mom Jenna and marriage Jenna and friend Jenna and all of a sudden we're doing everything under one roof and we're forced to communicate in different

ways and we're forced to learn how to be a good friend from afar and we're forced to be reminded that like we need to reach out just as much as we hope people reach out to us and what's interesting is I've had this practice for I don't know 10 years, where every single day when I think of people, I text them. And it'll just be, I know I've sent you a few, I've sent your wife a few, like, where if you come into my life or my mind or I see something and I'm like, oh, Jay would love that or whatever that is,

to just reach out. Like the universe is guiding me towards this opportunity to encourage or check in or just be there for someone. And oftentimes it comes in the form of like, no need to respond. Just want you to know I'm thinking of you or I saw this thing, like if you want to share how you're doing, like just check in. But when I think about when we're really feeling lonely, a lot of times our act is to like close up and to like close ourselves off.

And I really think it's this really great opportunity for us to reach out and to seek. And when you bring up like help, there's this chapter where it's like, one plus one equals a million. And it's my story about how I was white-nuckling so much of my life. I think a lot of us do that where we wear all the hats.

We can do it. We're just getting by. We're holding on with all of our might to like keep the control. And life often gives us these opportunities or it forces us to open up our hands. And for me, when we went through two pregnancy losses, I was in this place where I was like,

I have to show up to work. I had to show up and shoot a wedding as a wedding photographer after getting this news. And I recognize like, I cannot do this anymore. Like, I cannot, I've built something that requires me to show up to get paid. And right now, I can't show up. And I can't keep doing this to myself. Because life is not always going to invite us to show up.

Sometimes life calls us to like slow down and to be and to sit. Not too long ago, in the heart of the Amazon rainforest, this explorer stumbled upon something that would change his life. I saw it and I saw, oh well, this is a very unusual situation. It was cacao. The tree that gives us chocolate. But this cacao was unlike anything experts had seen, or tasted. I've never wanted us to have a gun bite. I mean, you saw this tax of cash in our office. Chocolate sort of forms this vortex.

It sucks you in. It's like I can be the queen of wild chocolate. We're all lost, it was madness. It was a game changer. People quit their jobs. They left their lives behind, so they could search for more of this stuff. I wanted to tell their stories,

so I followed them deep into the jungle, and it wasn't always pretty. Basically, this like disgruntled guy and his family surrounded the building armed with machetes. And we've heard all sorts of things that, you know, somebody got shot over this. Sometimes I think, all, all this for a damn bar of chocolate. Listen to obsessions, wild chocolate, on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background astonishing. I can't wait to share 10 incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held

family secrets. When I realized this is not just happening to me, this is who and what I am. I needed her to help me. Something was gnawing at me that I couldn't put my finger on, that I just felt somehow that there was a piece missing. Why not restart? Look at all the things that were going wrong. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to season 8 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast Navigating Narcissism. Narcissist are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental

health. In our first season we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved by the Tinder swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify the narcissist in your life. Each week, you will hear stories from survivors

who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. And I had run my business by myself for years and years and years, and I finally got to a place where I said three words, I need help. And it transformed everything for me. And it's been really fascinating being in this season

of motherhood and launching a book and all of these different things where I'm like, usually I'm the helper. And so asking for help is so uncomfortable, but it stretches you in ways that allows you to invite people in. And one of my friends, Ali Stroker, she is in a wheelchair, she's an incredible actress.

And she once told me this story that totally changed the way I look at asking for help. And she said, a lot of times people will come and try with good intentions to help me in my wheelchair when really I don't need it. But I've learned to recognize that for some people being the helper is the greatest gift I can give them. And when she said that, it really made me pause

and think there are so many people in my life who love to help, who find joy in being the helper. And if I can give them the invitation or the opportunity to do that, suddenly who I have and who has me expands. And a lot of times it's like our pride. It's like pride's utter chokehold that like keeps us from like opening our hands to what's possible. And so it's that white knuckleing that is not something that you can maintain and it's something that really

keeps greatness out of your life. Yeah. And, and, and Jenna, you touched on it there. It was, you know, I really admire your bravery for doing it in the book as well. You, you talk about a time where you found out that you're, you know, your baby didn't have a heartbeat. And, and I feel like, you know, the book is, is full of that level of vulnerability. And I think you talk about a lot of things that we also don't ever talk about. And, and definitely obviously, not people don't, we don't announce it on Instagram. And that potentially isn't the right forum anyway. But I wanted to ask you about,

when you look at that community around you, one of the things that's really benefited me, I said this to someone the other day, they were like, it seems like you make some really good decisions in your life. And I said, yeah, because I had people in my life who told me all the bad decisions they made.

And I'd say all the good decisions I people in my life who told me all the bad decisions they made. Yes. And I'd say all the good decisions I made in my life is because I've had a few older people in my life who've told me about all their bad decisions. And that gave me so much hindsight and it gave me so much awareness that it allowed me the space to think about things a bit ahead of the time. And so I can't take any credit for the good decisions I've made. I can only give the credit to the people who shared their either poor decisions with me

or as in your case, you're doing this book, challenges or heart breaks that they went through in order to be hopefully more prepared or more equipped to deal with certain things. And so I was like, the best mentorship is actually not good advice. The best mentorship is just an honest experience of what someone's going through. Can you talk to me a bit about like how you've shared and how people have shared with you and how that's such an important part of building that community and you're doing it through the book, of course?

There are so many things that are taboo, which is crazy, where it's like so many people are experiencing it, and it's a part of the human experience, but nobody's talking about it, and it is so isolating, right? Like you feel like you are broken or you are the only one or it's your fault that you went through something. And years ago, we lost one of our best friends in a car accident. And I found myself going back to his social media feeds to feel connected to him. And he didn't know when he was talking about Taco Bell or posting that funny family guy meme that like that would be a part of his legacy, right? Like we don't think about that, but every single post we're hitting publish on online is a piece

of our legacy. Like we don't do what our parents didn't have scrapbooks and all the little, you know, trinkets and put it in an album. These days it's so digital. And I remember when I found myself like going to look through his old tweets or things just to feel connected to him, I vowed to myself that like what you see online will never be just a highlight reel. It will always be real, like R-E-A-L, my real life. And I have stuck by that through thick and thin,

through the good, through the bad, because when I get reminded of a memory on Facebook, I want to remember that actual moment and not just the shiny. And when we went through our pregnancy loss, for me, part of it was helping people to feel less alone because one in four people, women, experience that, but to it was to give meaning to the experience. I think as people that are optimistic or positive people,

where I was like life is teaching me a lesson and even when that lesson is inconceivable or you don't have a reason or you can't really pinpoint what that is, I really clung to this belief that like I'm going to give meaning to this mess no matter how I can. And there's this story in the book that I love and it's called What Brook Shields Doesn't Know. And I was at this event with all these incredible women, and there was this president of a company that I worked with. And she was a woman, and she came up to me, and we were talking about our children,

and she said, do you know that I went through IVF seven times in order to have my daughter? And this is like years ago, like a decade ago. And I said, oh my God, how many times did you want to give up? And she said, never. And I said, how is that possible? Like IVF is the most excruciating process. Like there are so many layers to it and so many things

and so many hopes and dreams and failures and things that you just hate going through. And she said, I didn't give up because one time I was watching an interview and Brooke Shield said that she did IVF seven times to conceive her daughter. And if she can do it seven times, so can I. And I think about that. Brooke Shields doesn't know that she's responsible for this beautiful girl named Maggie who lives in New York City, but her vulnerability in sharing that story inspired a total stranger

to get herself in the ring of something that was told to be impossible by doctors, but created a miracle. And I think that stories have this opportunity to do this. And I think that vulnerable stories invite people to again step into their own vulnerability. And I've learned so much about like the things that I try to keep hidden, the things that I'm afraid to share, the things that I'm thinking, that everyone else is thinking about me. Those are called the human experience. Those are the things that connect me so much more than pretending like I have it all together. I don't have insecurities or that I don't worry. And so I've just believed in the power of story and the power of real. And when you put real story to life, that's what really transforms other people's lives. Yeah, and I definitely think you do that in this book.

So, so wonderfully, right? Like there's so many stories, whether it's personal, whether it's career-based, you know, I think it's so important. One of the things I tried to do and think like a monk when I wrote it was, I don't talk about any enlightened experiences So I talked about all my worst meditation experiences. Yeah, because the goal was Because it's relatable and it's true like they were just so many poor meditation experiences and I think it's very easy to be like well, you know

This was this amazing experience I had and everyone's, well, you know, this was this amazing experience I had. And everyone's like, well, you know, like you just said, like someone's gone through seven of the most difficult, excruciating things to get there, but that story is so much more powerful. Tell me a bit about, you know, the third act of the book goes into like people setting their goals, living their truth, achieving it, making a plan. I want to ask you a different question because the book breaks down how you do that

and what to do. So if anyone who's wondering how Jenna goes from who you are to who you have and who has you to then what you're gonna do about it to actually build it through, what I'm more intrigued by is what's a worthy goal? Like what's a worthy pursuit? Like, what's a worthy pursuit? Because I feel like everyone talks about goals and goal setting and everyone kind of has goals

or may have goals. But when I was young, all we ever learned about was setting smart goals, right? Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time bound. But no one ever told me what a worthy goal was. And as I've got an older, I have, I do believe that there are worthy pursuits and there are pursuits that will let us down. As you said, there's so many goals that you hit and you go, well, is that it? So, so how do you help people think about, is there a way of knowing what a healthy, worthy pursuit or goal is?

Yeah, I think it's one that feels good, that the pursuit feels good and the end product feels right. And for me, I think it's really interesting. I remember Jay, we were together in Puerto Rico and Brendan through, Brendan Bershard led us through this exercise and it was envisioning these scenes that we want for our lives. Like what would true success look like? And he had already gone through the exercise of envisioning your best moments of life, all these things.

But I loved how he framed it because it was envision these moments before they happened so that when they happen, you are fully awake to them. And for me, the scene that I envisioned was like pancakes on a Saturday morning, looking out at the lake with my family. And it's funny because every time we make pancakes on a Saturday morning, Drew will look at me and I will be like, teary-eyed and he'll be like, we're living it. Like, this is the scene and we're awake to it because how many successful people do you know who have done all these amazing things in their life, they say they missed it. They missed it because they were just in pursuit of the next thing, or the journey didn't feel good, or they arrived, and it wasn't where they thought they wanted to be.

And so when it comes to setting a goal, I want you to ask yourself what feels good. Like what in the pursuit feels good. And here's an example. I did this visualization exercise. After our two losses, I was like unpacking my grief and really trying to like face it because I had buried it the first time and I was like, I've got to figure out how to not move on from this, but how to move with my grief. Like, how do I move forward carrying this grief with me as a changed person? And I did this visualization exercise and my friend was leading me through it and she was like Invision the most vibrant version of yourself like you are fully alive Energized excited about what you're about to do for your day and she said this line where it was like put your fingers in the finger slots

Like step in to where your toes are like what do you see and what do you feel? And it was funny because I was doing this meditation there. Tears streaming out my face, and I'm envisioning this little girl in pancakes, and Drew, and this Persian rug, and like all of these things. And in this vision, I had on jeans and a white linen shirt. And I opened my eyes after the visualization, and I had on yoga pants and like an old college t-shirt.

And I was like, I want the baby and the pancakes, but if I can't even live today with the jeans and the linen shirt, how do I expect to become a fully different person when the thing that I want arrives, right? Like, sometimes the waiting season is just as important as what it is that we're waiting for, and the same thing goes for goals. Sometimes the journey of working towards the goals should be enjoyed just as much as achieving the goal itself. And so I've learned how to make sure that the pursuit feels good, but that the goal is truly my definition of success.

Because my definition of success isn't shiny, it's not great, it's literally a bag of gluten-free pancakes, but when I'm living it, I know it and I'm awake to it. And I think nowadays it's like with the internet, you could follow the fashion blogger and then follow the home decor and then follow the health net and our brain tricks is into thinking that we need to do and be all of those things in order to be happy. But if we go back to the beginning of the conversation where we talk about like contentiveness is a gift. It's not complacency. Like how can you be at peace with your life? And what does that look like as you work towards the goal? And so for me, it's like more so about the journey because if we know anything, the

journey is 90% of the pursuit and the actual goal achieving is 2%. And so I want my life to feel good while I'm working towards that thing. Yeah, I think that's a great definition. And I'm really glad you clarified that because I think we often set goals by default. We adopt goals from our parents, our friends, our family, Instagram, TikTok, social media. We just, we have a goal without even knowing we have one. And so I think making it a more conscious intentional process is so important. And I encourage everyone who wants to live their truth, who wants to

authentically discover who they are, who wants to make a shift or a change in your life right now. Maybe you're going through a transition. Maybe you know you need to start one. Please order Jenner's book today because it will truly guide you and be that helping hand that we all need on that path. And sometimes I think a lot of people and I can honestly say this for myself and that's I truly backward I'm about to say is that I often felt alone in my transitions in life from a physical point of view. But I would say that books and people in books have definitely been that navigation guide and helping hand that I've needed. And so often I haven't necessarily been able to turn to someone right next to me to know

what's going on because they may not have experienced what I'm experiencing, but someone in a book has experienced that or experienced something similar and that I feel now so close to that person that I've never met. And most of the people I'm talking about are not even alive from books that I've read. So I really believe that if you're in that transition, if you're in that journey, if you're struggling with who you are, if you're trying to figure out the people around you, if you're trying to make a career change, if you're having struggles with motherhood and that journey and your identity right now, generally I want to be honest, like very vulnerably and honestly captures her story and shares the insights to help see what you can apply. Jenna,

I thank you so much for writing this book, for taking the time today, and as you know, we end every on purpose episode with a final five, which is a fast five round where every question has to be answered in one word or one sentence maximum. So Jen and Kutcher, you ready? I trained my whole life for this. You've trained your whole life for this. You're already prepared. Okay, so the first question is,

what is the best advice you've ever received? John is better than perfect. Nice. I like that. We've never had down the show, which is good. What is the worst advice you've ever received? Just keep on reaching. What is the first thing you do every morning and the last thing you do every night?

Look at my baby monitor. I love it. The honesty you see. This is why I asked that question. I love the honesty. Fourth, what is the biggest risk you've ever taken? Leaving my nine to five job to become an entrepreneur. Nice.

And fifth and final question, if you could make one law that everyone in the world would have to follow, what would it be? To take a gap year before doing what you think you want to do and figure out who you are. Wow, great advice. I like that one. I took one before university and one three after. So definitely, definitely,

you're the example. I agree. I agree with that advice. Everyone, Jenna Kutcher, the book is called, how are you really living your truth? One answer at a time, make sure you grab a copy of the book. And Jenna has a special gift for us that we're gonna get as part of this. I want you to head over to JennaCuture.com forward slash J. We will put the link in the captions and the show notes and everywhere else.

So JennaCuture.com forward slash J, as in my name J, J-A-Y, and you will be able to see this amazing gift that she's gonna give you a bit of a sneak peek about. So Jenna, over to you. Yeah, so I wanted to think about how this would be most valuable because my book is not about finding my truth or sharing my truth, but inviting you to find your own.

So I gathered a bunch of our incredible, mutual friends and did deep dive interviews that aren't public, you cannot find them anywhere, and put together a course that is in theme with the book. So on topics like identity, career, relationship, balancing things, shifting careers, all of those things, it is all inside of an incredible free course that you cannot get anywhere else and you will get it when you pre-order or order the book and you can find that at genicuture.com.

Slash J. I love it, Jenna. Thank you so much for doing that because yeah, like you said, I, I think so many of these things are things we're all struggling with. We need to hear it from lots of different voices, lots of different faces. And so the fact that you've brought them all together is just absolutely brilliant. So please, everyone check that out. Subscribe for that. Sign up for that at Jenna Kutcher.com forward forward slash jennett thank you so much for joining me today I can't wait to see you again I can't wait to see your family again I'm just

so grateful we got to take this time out I really hope everyone will read your book devour it apply it practically put it into their life and I can't wait to see it change so many lives so thank you for this work thank Thank you for your life. And thank you so much for this opportunity. Thank you for pouring into all of us. I'm speaking on behalf of all of your listeners, myself included. I know that you have left a huge lasting imprint. And I think it's really easy as someone who creates to forget all of the incredible ways that you are creating ripple effects in lives, in generations, in families, and I can speak from my family's experience, you have done just that.

So thank you for the work that you do. No, thank you so much. Everyone who's been listening or watching, make sure you follow Jenna across social media and make sure you tag Jenna and I with any of the nuggets of wisdom, the insights, even pages from her book, take screenshots, tag us both, let us know what's resonating with you, what's connecting with you. I genuinely love seeing you with a book open

from the podcast, with sharing something from one of our guest pages, because to me, it shows that we're connected, it shows that we're listening, learning from each other, and so I genuinely go on Instagram myself regularly and we'll go through posts and tags and everything. And I love seeing you all bring so much love to the podcast. Thank you so much for listening everyone.

I'll see you again next week for another episode and a big thank you to Jenna again. Thanks everyone. The one you feed explores how to build a fulfilling life admits the challenges we face. We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear through guidance on emotional resilience, transformational habits, and personal growth. I'm your host, Eric Zimmer, and I speak with experts ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers, offering powerful lessons to apply daily. Create the life you want now.

Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Nunehm. I'm a journalist, a wanderer, and a bit of a bon vivant, but mostly a human just trying to figure out what it's all about. And not lost is my new podcast about all those things. It's a travel show where each week I go with a friend to a new place and to really understand it, I try to get invited to a local's house for dinner.

Where kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party, it doesn't always work out. Ooh, I'll have to give back to you. Listen to Not Lost on the I Heart Radio App or wherever you get your podcasts. What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War II? An opera singer who burned down an honorary to Kidnap her lover. And a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, have in common. They're all real women who were left out of your history books. You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast.

Check it out on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen. you