On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Jennifer Lopez ON: Defining Your True Purpose and How to Create a Career That is True to Who You Are

Episode Date: March 22, 2021

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.You know and love this podcast. Jay’s exclusive Genius workshops and meditations take your well-being to the next level. Try them today at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGeniusWelcome to the first episode of Coach Conversations, a monthly YouTube and Podcast series where we get to talk about the things that truly impact our minds, hearts and lives.This month’s topic: finding your purpose, leading with gratitude and as the new Coach campaign, Coach It Forward, encourages —telling the people in your life how they have moved your world forward.Today, Jay Shetty speaks with Jennifer Lopez about how she defined her true purpose to create her legendary career -- and how you can do the same!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I am Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. This season we dive deeper into highlighting red flags and spotting a narcissist before they spot you. Each week you'll hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and their process of healing. Listen to Navigating Narcissism on the iHeartRad Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast in each bite-sized daily episode.

Time management and productivity expert, Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to before breakfast on the I Heart Radio app

or wherever you get your podcasts. When my daughter ran off to hop trains, I was terrified I'd never see her again, so I followed her into the train yard. This is what it sounds like inside the box-top. And into the city of the rails, there I found a surprising world, so brutal and beautiful that it changed me. But the rails do that to everyone. There is another world out there, and if you want to play with the devil, you're going to find them down in the rail yard.

I'm Denon Morton. Come with me to find out what waits for us and the city of the rails. Listen to City of the Rails on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Or, cityoftherails.com. Hello everyone and welcome back to on purpose the number one health podcast in the world. Now today is an extremely special episode. It's huge.

Today's guest is none other than the incredibly talented and measurably kind Renaissance woman herself, Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Lopez has managed to not only be a cultural touchstone for more than 25 years, but has reached invaluable success while staying so authentic to who she is. Jalo just launched her skincare line Jalo Beauty in January and she performed at the inauguration for President Biden. So, as expected, it's already been a busy year for her. I recently had the opportunity to speak with Jennifer as part of Coach's new YouTube series, Coach Conversations, and now I'm so excited to share our talk with you all in full.

with you all in full. I am so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love, is out. And I cannot wait to share with you. I am so, so excited for you to read this book. For you to listen to this book, I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to eightrulesoflove.com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find,

keep, or let go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour. Love rules. Go to jsheddytour.com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait to see you this year. I'm ready. Let's go. I'm fascinated to know how you define your calling and purpose today and why you think it's important to define it. Wow, that's, you know, I went like that when you asked the question because it's such, still such a big question for me, even though I kind of know what I do for living

and what my life is and the things that drive me. For me, today in January 2021, I think my calling is to empower, inspire, and entertain. Those are the things that I do. And in an entertaining, I kind of hope I'm always empowering and inspiring people to be the best at whatever they want to do. You know, I went and before Ruth Bader Ginsburg died,

I got the privilege to meet her and her chambers while I was on tour. And I said to her, I said, what can I do to help? Like, it seems like the world is so crazy right now. And she said, uh, exactly what you're doing. Every person just has to do what they do best and be the best that they can be and in that they will help the world.

What a perfect answer. Thank you so much for sharing that, by the way. So, we're talking about purpose this month, and that's the topic. Tell me a bit more about you. What exactly does a purpose coach do? That is a great question that my wife and my mom still ask me every single day.

A purpose coach helps people figure out how they can have the deepest and biggest impact on people's lives using their gifts. And I believe there's someone out there right now, Jennifer, who's going to cure a disease and they don't even know it yet. There's someone out there who's going to inspire millions of people and they don't even know it yet. And if I can play even a tiny role in helping them get closer to that, then that's what

I'm trying to dedicate my life to. Yeah, that's amazing. I love that. That's like a perfect answer. But you aren't always a purpose coach. You had kind of a second act. I didn't really call second act, so I'm always about,

we wrote that movie with this whole idea in mind of like, you can do many things. So how did you get to where you are today? I thought I was going to be in business because it was the safe option. And then I completely went on to the other side and rebelled again to it and went and lived as a monk. And then I came back to the real world three years on where I found more stability back in the world of management and business. And then I found that that wasn't my true

calling. What drew me to the purpose work is that I saw a lot of pain in humanity. And the source of that pain was a lack of education. People were just never given the tools. So if you think about it, we have a class for biology, but we don't have a class for the heart or emotions. We have a class for math. They should have a whole school for that. Yeah, they have a whole school for that.

I always say, why don't they teach kids from very young to love themselves? I'm with you on that. That's what you should start that school. Or, of course, or something. I remember when I was going through therapy at the beginning, you know, kind of like in my late 30s and it was, there was a lot of talk about loving yourself. And I was like, I love myself. But obviously I was doing all these things in like my personal relationships. I didn't seem like I was loving myself. But I didn't even

understand the concept of it. And it took time and it's a journey. And it's still a journey for me. How do you feel that, you know, people are struggling, obviously, as you know, as we're aware, how do you feel like finding your calling and purpose happens at difficult times and at tough times? Is that the right time to open your mind and hard up to that? Is there ever a right time? You know, this is such a tough moment. It's a very tough moment and and the whole year has been tough. But many of us, if we're lucky, one of the blessings of 2020 was that we had a

moment of pause. There was a moment where we could just stop for a second and we could look inward. Even if it was just taking a few moments every day to take stock in those things, and to prioritize what was really important in our lives, our family, our kids, and not only see what you want,

but more importantly, who you want to be when it all comes back around. It's a great insight, great advice. Let's talk more about the words calling in purpose, all right? Because that's what this month is about. How would you define them? It's not the same thing as a career, for example. Yeah, I think there's a difference between a calling and a career because a career feels

like something you're always pushing. Like you're like pushing it, trying to make it work. And a calling feels like something that's pulling you closer to it. Like it feels like you're being pulled towards it. And so, but I have to say that I do feel careers can evolve into callings. And so I often find that when people just start on their career and rather than feeling, like, oh my gosh, my calling so far away or my purpose is so far away, let me just learn what I can from this because it's going to be useful later. There's going to be some part of it that's actually

powerful for my future. And so I think that's how they connect and overlaid. Yeah, and I think when you take on any job or anything that you have to do, even if it's like, well, this doesn't feel right. If you put your heart and soul into it and you do the best you can do, you're gonna get something out of it. It's gonna lead to something else. And when you're trying to be, like I said,

you have to try to be the greatest of all time. Like you have to aim for that. And that's what I am. And when you're aiming for that, all of a sudden as an actor, you're like, when you're aiming to be the best actor, you can. You realize that you have to learn what it is to direct. You have to learn what it is to produce. You have to understand what it is to be the set designer, to be all because all of it works together. And you wind up, you know,

growing and growing and evolving and evolving, just because you're open to being the greatest in the job that you have right there. It seems like even in your new single in the morning, you speak to metamorphosis, and it seems like what I'm hearing from you today is that everything's highly intentional. You're picking things because they seem deeply purposeful. Have you always been like that? Has that always been the way you've approached everything in life

where it feels deeply intentional? Yeah, I think because, you know, I started as a dancer. And I wasn't always the best dancer. I was a great dancer, but I wasn't the best dancer, you know, and everybody's so competitive in these fields, right? But I knew that every, from the beginning, because of that, I put something extra into it. I put my heart into it, I put something extra into it. I put my heart into it.

I put my soul into it. Into each move, there was a purpose behind it. Like, everything had to speak something. And I learned that early on when I was dancing from when I was very young, that I had to, for it to affect people since I couldn't kick my leg the highest, because I couldn't jump and make the split the highest that I had to have something else that was

connecting because that at the end of the day doesn't really matter. What I realized what matters was actually you know connecting in a way and putting a passion into each move and making everything mean something. Everything I do, I want it to have a purpose to it. I really want to remind people to own their power always. You know, morning TV, it's not just when you're in the spotlight. It's like being your best self at every moment, you know, even when the cameras are not on.

I think I love hearing you say that you weren't, you didn't think that you were the best dancer, because I think there's a lot of people just hearing that and going, oh yeah, like just taking a pressure off of like thinking that you have to have thought you were the best from that point on. So I think that's, I think that's, to be the best.

I think that's an important key, but you don't have to be the best to have success, to have, you just have to not give up. You have to keep going. You have to always just know that you have something special to offer. But you have to strive, I think striving to be the best is part of the secret. When I've watched you, whether I've been watching your interviews or your performances, I always feel like it's more than entertainment.

It's more about empowerment. Tell me about what's going on in your mind and what you want people to experience when you ask them to dream on. My mantra for this year, one of them, because I always have many. I always have many is to dream on. I really believe 2021 can bring change and healing. And my dream is that, you know, together this year, we can make a more unified, more loving, more accepting, more understanding world.

I always want to inspire, inspire different things in people and whether it's to make them laugh or cry, affect them in some way. And in these times, where all of us can feel lost, I wanted to give people some hope and some direction. And I'm interested to hear about how you go there in your creative process because to be able to do that, it means you're having to go through things yourself, you're having to feel things.

Yeah, the creative process for me, especially in building a show or a performance, is really a many layered, you know, process for me. I don't think anything has an impact if you're not 100% in it and behind it. So when I'm creating something, I do it because I love it. And I love the moment to moment connection that I get with the audience, whether it's a song or a movie or a live performance. I want it to be successful, of course, and I want to do my best, but I believe that that things that resonate with me will resonate with other people. And when you make choices that way, yeah, there's always some risks involved. Some people are going to love it, some people are going to hate it, whatever. But I don't let that worry kind of overcome me.

You know, is this the right choice? Or should I be more cautious? Because I wanna feel passionate about the things I create and I think that that shows in my work. Yeah, one of the things that really resonated with me was when on the last day of 2020, you used the launch of your Jaila Beauty brand to tell people to literally wash away 2020,

like ceremoniously, right? It was. I feel like everybody needed to do that. Go ahead, I'm sorry. I agree with you. Everyone needed to do that. What do you think you were washing away in 2020, or what were you letting go of in 2020?

With the launch, because it was on January 1st, and because it was a symbolic kind of new beginning of a new year that the idea of washing away the year before which was 2020, which was a year we all wanted to wash away, it was a chance to kind of wash away some of the pain, some of the uncertainty, some of the fear that we've all been experiencing this year.

It was a chance to just wash away the energy of that year and really start fresh and know that that that's possible. But we as a collective have experienced a lot of trauma over the past year. Physical, emotional, psychological is, is there such a thing do you think as universal healing? How do we move forward with purpose as, you know, because we're all emotional works in progress? The therapy for Black Girls podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help black women dig a little deeper into the most

impactful relationships in our lives, those with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends, and most importantly, ourselves. We chat about things like what to do when a friendship ends, how to know when it's time to break up with your therapist, and how to end the cycle of perfectionism. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Take good care. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season. And yet, we're constantly discovering new secrets. The depths of them, the variety of them continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share ten incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of

long-held family secrets. When I realized this is not just happening to me, this is who and what I am. I needed her to help me. Something was gnawing at me that I couldn't put my finger on, that I just felt somehow that there was a piece missing. Why not restart? Look at all the things that were going wrong. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to season 8 of Family Secrets. Listen to Season

8 of Family Secrets on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In the 1680s, a feisty opera singer burned down an unnery and stole away with her secret lover. In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans. What are these stories having common? They're all about real women who were left out of your history books. If you're tired of missing out, check out the Womanica podcast, a daily women's history podcast highlighting women you may not have heard of,

but definitely should know about. I'm your host, Jenny Kaplan, and for me, diving into these stories is the best part of my day. I learned something new about women from around the world and leave feeling amazed, inspired, and sometimes shocked. Listen on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I love them. I'm so glad you asked me that question. There's a beautiful thing I read from a writer called Russell Barkley.

And in it, he says that people who need the most love often ask for it in the most unloving ways. And I thought about that, I think about that a lot about how every cry for attention is a cry for love. Every cry for validation is a cry for love. Every act of pain or hurt to someone in one way or another is a deep cry for life. Right, but also like it's just not a cry.

Sometimes it's like that person who's really angry, the person who's like really angry, you just need a hug. Like give me a hug right now. Yeah. Like you can just tell. That's what I really do. Yeah, it is exactly that. No, I know exactly what you mean.

I find that a lot of people right now feel this pressure to find their purpose. When someone's feeling pressure, like if someone's sitting there and they're going, oh gosh, I just don't know what my purpose is. I feel so far away from it. How do you deal with that pressure of redefining your purpose and evolving? People always like, oh, she reinvents herself. Like, is a reinventsure? I don't like that word.

I'm not reinventing or trying to be something different or trying to trick people into like something new. It's an evolving, right? So when you're talking about a calling or purpose, there's a lot of pressure around it, right? The most important thing is that you have to listen to yourself and the words that you tell yourself because what you say and what you think

and I tell this to my kids all the time, becomes your reality. If you're telling yourself you're, you know, I'm gonna be this or I'm gonna be that, you're telling yourself I'm a f***ing loser, you'll be a f***ing loser, whatever it is, you tell yourself that and it will manifest. I really believe that we create our lives again, not just with our actions and the things we do,

but the things we think and the self-talk that we give. Being in this business where people are always trying to tell you what you should and shouldn't do, you really have to have a strong sense of self and gut and instinct and follow that. We talked about listening to the inner voice, but we also have to listen to voices around us, surrounding ourselves at the right mentors.

Tell us about what coach it forward means to you. I mean, it's about really telling people in your life, taking the time to let the people in your life know that they've impacted your life. That, to me, is such a beautiful idea and why I love being associated and working with them because they're always thinking about kind of more, just not, you know, the brand itself,

but what the brand stands for and it's social good. And I love that. And I love this idea of coach it forward. I mean, we all know what pay it forward means. It's like, you have a blessing and you somehow pay it forward selflessly to somebody else. And I love that idea. But I also love the idea of coach it forward,

which is just, you know, simple as picking up the phone and calling somebody and saying, you make my everyday better. I would say who I talk to every day, maybe multiple times a day is my producing partner, and one of my very best friends, Alangos Mitamas, and she just pumps me up every day. She just, you know, she goes,

I feel like I have to remind you all the time because you're so hard on yourself and you're such a perfectionist, I want to remind you that you're doing great. It's good. You know, because I'm always like, I've got to do this. I didn't do that. But, but you're a good mom. You're a good person. And it's important to have people like that in your life. And so I'm saying to Elaine right now, I love you and I love what you bring to my life and everything about you and how you make me feel is priceless to me in my life.

I love that. That's beautiful to hear. And I'm so glad that that gratitude was personalized and specific. Like that's when it works. Like study showed that when you're actually specific about gratitude and it's so personal and I could see when you were talking about them, it was just pouring out from your heart. That's when gratitude is beautifully received and given.

You feel as much joy giving gratitude as the person feels receiving it. But Jennifer, thank you so much for your time today and to join me in this first ever episode of Coach Conversations. I feel like we were able to dive so deeply into purpose and calling, but I want to end with a quick fire round of fill in the blanks. I'm going to ask you a question, then you're going to ask me a question. My favorite affirmation is, I am open and receptive to all the goodness and abundance that the universe has to offer. Oh, I love that one. That's beautiful. Okay. My biggest cheerleader is,

the universe has to offer. Oh, I love that one. That's beautiful. Yours. My biggest cheerleader is. My mom, my sister, my wife probably I'd have to go with family. So yours, my favorite dance move is. I don't have a favorite dance move.

I think the thing that I'm probably known for is that this is maybe the booty shape. Okay, yours. The first thing I do in the morning is avoid looking at my phone. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Okay, this is for you. I-I laugh most when. When I'm with my mother.

Yeah, she makes- She literally makes me laugh out loud. Okay, um, for you, my favorite J-Lo song is- Oh, that's a tough one. I'd have to say the one I played the most is I'm gonna be all right. I think that has to be- Oh wow! I think that has to be my favorite song. I wrote that song. Oh my God. Yeah, I love that song too.

I think the messaging, the meeting behind it, still to this day. I could put it on any time in the car at the gym when I'm walking around and that song is like, it gets me in the zone. So, yeah. Thank you. I love that.

That is so, you really did know a song. Last question. My calling in one word is... It's too hard one word. Okay, one sentence. One sentence. One sentence. Okay. My calling in one sentence is like I said, it's to empower, inspire, entertain, and put out into the world a message of love.

Thank you to everyone who's been watching this to Adam. So, honestly, deeply grateful for this time we got to spend together. I'm excited to see if we can start school together to help people find those emotional skills and emotional abilities. But everyone who's been watching today, make sure you subscribe, make sure you share this conversation, and make sure you share this conversation, and make sure you share the insights and the inspiration from Jennifer that really resonated and stuck with you,

because when you pass it on, when you pay it forward, when you coach it forward, it allows you to build meaningful relationships with everyone in your life. Thank you so much for watching, and a big thank you to Jennifer for being here with us. Thank you all so much for listening to Jennifer for being here with us. Thank you all so much for listening to the episode of On Purpose. I hope you enjoyed this conversation with Jennifer Lopez about courage, authenticity, and staying in your purpose.

Please tag Jennifer and myself on Instagram and let us all know what you learned on this episode. See you all on Friday. Thanks for listening. This podcast was produced by Dust Light Productions. Our executive producer from Dust Light is Misha Yusuf. Our senior producer is Julianna Bradley, our associate producer is Jacqueline Castillo, Valentino Rivera is our engineer, our music is from Blue Dot Sessions and special thanks to Rachel Garcia, the dust light development and operations coordinator.

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Listen to the obsessions while chocolate on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or whatever you get your podcast. Getting better with money is a great goal for 2023, but how are you going to make it happen? Ordering a book that lingers on your nightstand isn't going to do the trick. Instead, check out our podcast, How To Money. That's right, we're two best buds offering all the helpful personal finance information you need without putting you to sleep. We offer guidance three times a week and we talk about debt payoff, saving more, intelligent investing, and increasing your earnings. Millions of listeners have trusted us to help them make progress with their financial

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