On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Jim Kwik ON: Why You Feel Burned Out & How to Break Free From Your Limiting Beliefs

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

Today, I sit down with one of my good friends, Jim Kwik. Jim Kwik is a widely recognized world expert in brain performance, mental fitness and memory improvement. After a childhood brain injury left him with learning challenges, Kwik created strategies to dramatically enhance his cognitive performance. He has since dedicated his life to helping others unleash their true genius and brainpower. is the author of the NY Times and #1 WSJ bestseller: “Limitless - Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, Unlock Your Exceptional Life.” Make sure to grab a copy here!Jim tells us about the power of choice and how transformation is just like a butterfly inside a cocoon. He also talks about rejecting a limit from someone we love and how we can break free from a limitation.This episode was filmed at Soho Works: 10 Jay Street. Visit https://hvmn.me/PURPOSEWhat We Discuss:00:00:00 Intro00:02:17 Is this limitation real or not?00:05:02 Open mindedness vs. delusion00:06:03 The power of choice00:11:15 Limitations are safe00:14:59 Transformation is like a butterfly00:18:57 Reflecting on someone else’s life00:22:11 Pain makes you present00:24:05 Living slow-paced00:26:27 Peace of mind00:29:42 Having options00:32:11 The Limitless Model00:41:46 Rejecting a limitEpisode ResourcesJim Kwik | InstagramJim Kwik | YouTubeJim Kwik | TikTokJim Kwik | WebsiteDo you want to meditate daily with me? Go to go.calm.com/onpurpose to get 40% off a Calm Premium Membership. Experience the Daily Jay. Only on CalmWant to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, it's Debbie Brown, host of the Deeply Well Podcast, where we hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your wellbeing journey. Deeply well is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is available now on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Namaste. I am Dr. Romani and I am back with season 2 of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. This season we dive deeper into highlighting red flags and spotting a narcissist before they spot you.

Each week you'll hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and their process of healing. Listen to navigating narcissism on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Munga Shatekler, and it turns out astrology is way more widespread than any of us want to believe. You can find it in major league baseball, international banks, K-pop groups, even the White House. But just when I thought I had a handle on this subject,

something completely unbelievable happened to me, and my whole view on astrology changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, give me a few minutes because I think your ideas are about to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Maybe you're not burnt out because you're doing too much, maybe you feel burnt out because you're doing too little of the things that make you feel alive. The things that I really like you up. [♪ Music playing be happy, you want to be healthy, and you want to heal.

I think that's why I'm here too. When I sit down with a guest, that's what I'm hoping to do. I'm hoping to find moments of happiness, moments of health advice, and moments of healing. But one of the things I've been discovering lately that I want to let you in on is when I'm doing these interviews, some of the guests that I'm speaking to have phenomenal journeys and stories, but some of them also I get the opportunity to co-create with.

I want to like discover new ideas while we're in the podcast. I want to find new insights that we never even considered before. I want to take a moment to really see if we can let down our God, let go of what we know, and maybe go into the unknown in a conversation. And today's guest is someone who's going to allow us to do just that. He is the foremost brain coach. He's an incredible author and an amazing

podcaster. My dear friend Jim Quick, the author of Limitless. If you don't have this book, it is a phenomenal read. I highly recommend it. And the first time Jim came on the podcast, the book wasn't out yet, so I couldn't tell you about it. But I really hope that you'll check it out. Jim, welcome back to On Purpose. It's so great to have you here. When we first did this, and I want everyone to know this, when we first launched the podcast, you were, I think you were one of the guests

within our first six months. You were in my apartment where we used to shoot, and it was so kind and gracious of you to come on. We were just starting out. We were just figuring out what on purpose was and you supported us and it means the world to me. So I'll never forget that, but I love, we were chatting offline before which I loved and we were talking about how we wanted this conversation to be special.

I mean, that's what you asked me. How do I make this conversation special? How do we make it different? And that's where this idea came from is, when we're sitting with someone, it's like, how can we let go back and forth? And you know, it sparks something new, you you asked me something and and that's where I kind of want to start because it's kind of hopefully going to lead us down a a random

path which I love. I and I'll tell you the story so I called up someone the other day and it's someone in my world and I said to them I have this, and I really want to do this. I think it would be amazing. And the first thing they said to me was, Jay, those things don't usually happen, right? That's not really possible. Like, that's not like the most probable, likely thing that we can make happen for you. Now, when I hear those kind of things,

and we're talking about limitless and limitations, when I hear a limitation like that, my mind goes to the fact that it's never been done is why I want to do it. Like that's what attracted to me in the first place. If it was already done, then why would I want to do it again? And so I wanted to start there with you and go, And so I wanted to start there with you and go, how do we know if a limitation is real or not? Like, how do you know? Because we all have limitations. I have, I love this conversation. I think the majority of limits are learned.

And I could give you stories and anecdotes around that and some research. I think my purpose in life, because I was labeled limited in a way. We talked about this when I was on your show earlier about having my traumatic brain injury and being labeled the boy with a broken brain and my learning difficulties. I went off her real hope and real help to those who were told they were hardware limited in some way.

You know, and I really don't believe that this guy's a limit. I believe our minds are a limit. There are all kinds of examples every day that when we change our mindsets, some kind of form of our motivation or the methods we're using, that we could do things that we could re-draw the borders and boundaries of what's possible. Yeah. And then you exemplify that. You embody this idea of becoming more limitless.

Well, I think it was for me too, and thank you for saying that, but I think it was the same thing for me where I had also subscribed to the limits I thought society placed on me. And when you start to break one limit, and you see this like light shining through a crack, and you're like, oh, like this limit can actually be broken, you then stop thinking, well, like this limit can actually be broken.

You then stop thinking, well, how many limits can we break, right? Like that's where I'm at right now, but I wasn't always like that. I think it's important to talk about that. There was a time in my life where I was living in the rules within the barriers. And now I'm at a place in my life where I'm like, well, which barriers can we push? And that journey for me has been an exciting one and a fun one. Tell me now, what do you think is the difference between open mindedness, like believing in the limitless versus delusion? Because there's also a fine line on that side as well.

Like, is there a line? And how have you thought about that? And even if we don't have an answer, I want to figure that out with you. Yeah. I think behind the kind of results in our life, we need to do a behavior, a new behavior, or a new set of behaviors. I think in order to be able to execute that behavior, we need a mindset or a belief that allows that to be possible. The one that's very famous

you're an erodicodar and in 1950s,icidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicididicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicididicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicidicididicidicidicididicidicidic people are training, he was in this like delusional. I don't think just because if you believe it, it doesn't mean it's going to happen, but I feel like if we don't believe it, it dramatically recruits, reduces the chance to happen, you know, because it's going to act accordingly. Yeah. You know, and so many people, they're shrinking what's possible to fit their minds. And I would always say, what if we did the opposite, what if we expanded our minds in the situation to fit more of what's really possible? Yeah, yeah, I think that's a great, great answer. You're so right. It's fascinating how everything is just a thought. I was talking to a couple of friends a couple of nights ago

and I was talking to him about the hernia surgery that I just went through. And he was saying to me, like, how tough was it? And I had a tough version of it. We were just talking about it. Some people wake up and in the next 24 hours, they're fine. It's taken me four weeks to feel 50% again, right?

Like that's how I feel, maybe 50, 60% again. And I know people have gone through for 12 months. Right. They're still here in the truth. Yeah, people are still going through it. And so he said to me, he was just like, do you, like, how did you not let yourself get depressed? Cause like the first week I couldn't walk.

And I had something called a telepsis, which is like a partial collapse of the lung. So I couldn't breathe every three breaths almost. And then my wife rushed me to hospital to ER, like one morning at 3 a.m. because they thought I'm I'm blood clots and I didn't thankfully. And then the second week when I started to walk it was still like on and off pain. It was very uncertain. I then ended up getting back pain because I was on my back for so long. I

couldn't lie on either side because I had it on both sides. And so then my back was like so I was waking up at 3am every day for three weeks because I couldn't sleep anymore because my back was hurting. So I was walking around at 3 a.m. I couldn't sit to meditate. I was doing walking meditations. And he was like, how did you not get depressed during that time? And I said to him that for me,

it was the power of my mind and it was a story. It was like, I'd lost the strength in my body for sure. But I kept repeating to myself, I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm healing, I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm healing, I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm healing. And what I was saying to me, it's not that because I said that I was happy, healthy and healing, it's that I had a choice of a thought, which is what you're saying, a belief that I could have either believed, I'm sad, I'm hurting and it's all over, or I'm happy, I'm healthy and I'm healing. And as just as you said and it's all over or I'm happy I'm healthy and I'm healing and as just as you said

it's not that belief or that thought made me better but it's just that if I didn't have that thought it would have been way harder to get through that pain and so I love that to see that in practice what you just said for me was huge. You know in in limitless I talk about seven lies to learning because my my wheelhouse is teaching, celebrated learning, teach to be able to read faster, learn languages around people's names, improve their memory, focus, and live for me is stands for limited idea entertained.

Limited idea entertained. It's getting us to self-reflect on, you know, is it really that you're too old or you're not smart enough? People come to me at events after they see me do these memory demonstrations, or maybe I'll remember people's names or do something, and they'll say, Jim, I'm just not smart enough. I have a horrible memory. And I always say, stop.

If you fight for limitations, you get to keep them. Oh, yeah. My feelings, they're yours. And often, we don't know the power of our mind. You know, I mentioned this last time, but it's like your brain is this incredible supercomputer and your self-talk, your thoughts of the program that will run. So tell yourself, I'm not good at remembering people's names. You all remember the name of the next person in me because you program a super computer

not to. So how do you transcend these lies? How do you end the trans? Because these lies, these were learned, right? This is the idea that genius is born, this idea we're only using you know small fraction of our brain 10% or something like that and you can unravel these lies There's an image in the very key word I put a quote in the book from a French philosopher and he says a life is this C

Between B and D life is a letter C between B and D The stance of birth D stance for life C, and you said it choice. That I really do believe that our lives are some total of all the choices we've made up to this point. What are we going to eat? What are we going to fear our minds? We're going to spend time with. Where are we going to live?

What are we going to believe? What are we going to think and say to ourselves on a regular basis? And I believe that these difficult times, they can diminish us these difficult times. They can distract us, which a lot of people feel distracted, or these difficult times, they can develop us. Ultimately, we always decide, so the power of choice you made, you made the choice in terms of what you choose to be able to believe, and with that choice, you know, comes a lot of responsibility, and with that responsibility responsibility comes a lot of power.

I love what you clarified there though, because the choice can be harder. I didn't go through a life threatening surgery. If someone went through that, the choice becomes harder and harder to make, if your stakes are higher and higher. But the choice brings power with it. So it's like, we need that power to come with it, right? And that's where you're making clear for us. I'm one of the things that I'm thinking about

when we're talking about limitations, limitations almost make us feel safe. I think people don't often connect the two, but they do. Like if you aim low, chances are you'll get there, and so you won't experience disappointment, right? If you place a limitation on yourself and say, well, I can't do that, then when you can't do it, it makes you feel good.

Like, oh, at least I knew. And you're validated. And you're validated, exactly. So you're looking for that. So how is a feeling that makes us feel safe actually sometimes the thing that's blocking us from feeling great? Yeah. I think a lot of us want to, you know, our nervous system is not necessarily set

up for growth. I think in the beginning it is until we've had some kind of a pain or trauma, then we want to be able to survive and keep ourselves safe. And there's this idea that, let's say, negativity or pessimists are accurate more because they maybe they set that standard or that, or that believe a little bit more achievable, but Optimus maybe are at 16 more because of it because they have that kind of moonshot idea or they're thinking. The brain really wants to keep you alive, right? And it doesn't want to change, it takes effort, it takes energy to be able to achieve the goals. There's this thing I saw on Twitter the other day saying,

life is hard for one of two reasons. Either because you're leaving your comfort zone, life can be very hard, or because you're staying in your comfort zone. People thought about change, which ultimately, most people want if they're healthy, some area of their life, relationships, health, career or something,

and they're looking outside and they want to achieve something else. It's a lot safer to be able to say, to keep something realistic with without a doubt. And I'm like that way also. Yeah, of course. Of course. Yeah. In terms of my book, Deadlines, what would be coming to Realistic is even possible to get it done in X amount of time. And I also find that part of getting results is reaching and then, you know, and then stable, like you stretch and then you stabilize. Yeah. And you stretch and you stay, I don't feel like we could be stretching all the time.

Agreed. That you could reach, reach, reach, but you have to recover, you have to replenish, you have to be able to rest. Yeah. Also as well. Yeah, I'm trying to add to that because I know we both like a iteration,

but it's like stretch, stabilize, and then forego. Like there's also what's a sacrifice, I guess, but in a positive sense, yeah, surrender. Surrender, yeah, because I found that I definitely am shocked at my capacity with the amount of things I do today that I didn't know wherever possible.

So if someone told me 10 years ago, Jay, one day you're gonna do this, this, this, this, this, I would have said, no way, I can just know wherever possible. So if someone told me 10 years ago, Jay, one day you're gonna do this, this, this, this, this, I would have said, no way, I can just do one thing. And we did exactly what you said. So every year I would stretch myself, every year, and you're right, you can't just stretch, stretch, stretch, stretch, every month.

But every year I'd add one thing. So like, first we started creating videos. And then after we started creating videos, we did the podcast. And then we did the podcast, we did our courses and programming. And then we did our, then I wrote my book and then after that, you know, so we stretched ourselves a little and I stretched myself a little every year. But then we stabilized. But I've also found that I've also had to let go of something, sacrifice some things that once upon a time were really important

to me. But today, they're not as important. And in order to stretch and stabilize, I had to learn to sacrifice too. And I think that's something we struggle with. I think one of our biggest limitations is wanting to hold on to stuff. Like, it's like there's no space to shift away and hold on to something else if we're holding on to this if I'm like no No, no, I want this to be there for the rest of my life. I'm missing out like what about that kind of limitation where it's not a limitation That I think about myself. It's actually a limitation because I want something to be there if that makes sense And there is yeah when we're talking about change or or even Transformation the symbol for me is that of like many people,

butterfly. And while the beauty is in the butterfly, the growth is happening usually in that cocoon and that crystallous. And it's one of those things where there's a story where there's this kid playing in the backyard when his parents are in the house. And he comes across a caterpillar.

And he wasn't allowed any pets, but he wanted to make this caterpillar his pet. So he runs in, talks to his parents and can I keep it, can I keep it? And the mother says yes, but you have to take care of it. You have to feel well, to feed it and everything. She gives him a mason jar, puts a little hole in it. And then he goes there and he opens it up and he puts leaves in there for the caterpillar

to eat and a little tree branch for it to climb. One day, as you can imagine, it spins this cocoon. The boy is enthralled. It's bill-wildered at this process of life. But he gets a little impatient because he knows what's coming, that it's going to emerge as a butterfly. Then one day, lo and behold, you can see a little crack open up. And if he gets impatient because he's taking too long, so he runs inside his house and he grabs scissors. And he walks back outside because he knows he's also run with those scissors. But he clips that hole open to be able to allow it to be able to get free. But an interesting thing happened when this creature came out.

It didn't look like a butterfly. It kind of looked like a butterfly, but it didn't really. The wings were very shriveled, the body was very swollen, and it didn't fly. You know, the thing he was looking forward to. And he cries to his parents and the parents asked what happened, and he was explaining how he cut it open, and they explained to him because he was trying to make it easy for that creature, that that because he was trying to make it easy for that creature, that that creature didn't have to develop the strength, right? And actually when it pushes through that hole,

is when it takes the fluids inside of its body and it nourishes and goes out to the wings. And then it can become that butterfly and sort of new heights. And I guess I bring this up because I feel like even the past a few years, people feel like maybe they were cocooning You know, and they were in this place and they were alone alone with their thoughts alone with You know their fears it might be even feeling alone and you and I have talked to many conversations about mental health And how it you know, it's how our brain of health is affecting our mental health

And I would say that Through struggles sometimes there is strength. My struggles pouring up or learning, it was public speaking, life has a sense of humor because that's all I do is public speak on this thing called learning. But disadvantage within the word disadvantage, there's that word advantage, right?

And I always feel like there's some kind of advantage within every disadvantage. In the 1680s, a feisty opera singer burned down a nunnery and stole away with her secret lover. In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans. What are these stories having common? A delicious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans. What do these stories have in common? They're all about real women who were left out of your history books.

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Listen to how to money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, and it's hard to see that when you're in it. When you're inside the jar. Yeah, inside the cocoon. It's so hard to see it, but I think looking back at previous cocoons and seeing how you emerged is often the best bet you have. It's almost like, I know, I remember when I was at school, I'd always be like, last year I did well in my exams,

how do I do well this year? Let me remember what I did last year. And that's a very small example, but even now it's like when I went through this surgery, the last surgery I had was when I lost my voice and I had polyps in my throat, which was around 10 years ago. And so, I remember that time, for months on end, I was drinking out of a straw, and I couldn't speak, and I had a white ward where I would write things to my parents and my sister and my mom were taking care of me. And I was like, okay, well, I got through that surgery. What mindset did I need? What can I do now? What did I not do that time that I should get right now? And so I find like reflection is such a great tool

to overcome limitations. And I think reflecting on your own life, and this is the part that I think, I wanna talk about this with you, because I don't know the answer, and I don't think we've talked about this before, but we get so fascinated reflecting on other people's lives. Right? What is the news? What is pop culture news? What is mainstream media doing?

You're spending your whole day reflecting on someone else's life. So and so cheated on someone, so and so messed up the world record. Like, didn't make it. so and so, like, you know, they fell off stage when they were performing their song or whatever it is, right? Like there's, there's like this negative reflection on everyone else's life. But rarely do we carve out the time to reflect on our own life. Why do you think that is? And, and where does that come from? And I just want to hear your thoughts on that, because reflection is something we all know how to do. We just don't necessarily do it inward. I think it could be an incredible advantage also reflection. I mean, when you reflect on something,

you're harnessing the power of your memory. And as the memory coach, I feel like it's not just remembering facts and figures and foreign languages, or speeches, or things that can make you more productive in your performance. It's also reflecting and remembering the things that give you confidence and certainty moving forward. That reflection can be a superpower that hindsight could lead to foresight.

So many people forget about their wins. They forget sometimes of the things that they overcame. And so many people are scared of someone you know, someone watching this or listening to right now can be afraid of making a mistake and looking bad. You know, I always tell people, well, if you make a mistake, you make it old, whole LD, and everything's an acronym. Oh, is you own it. You know, we don't put it outside of ourselves, we don't become a victim.

We apologize that we hurt somebody, we fix it if we can, we take responsibility for it, because that allows us to be able to make it better. The L is you learn from it, and that's why we make mistakes, right? There are stepping stones to make us a better person if we learn from it, that there's no failure, maybe there's feedback, or maybe there's no, you're not failing, maybe just failing to learn something.

And so you want to be able to do that. But then the D is really where it lands. The D is don't repeat it. As so many people can learn in the moment, but then they repeat it. They repeat that mistake in their relationships or in their dating life. They repeat it.

They forget that junk food made them feel like, afterwards, or staying up late at night, and did in terms of ruining their sleep and ruining their peace of mind the next day. So don't repeat it because, you know, insanity doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. And sometimes it's not insanity.

Maybe sometimes it's just not managing our memory. You know, and remembering that those moments, the hindsight where we've made, you know, where like everyone right now can imagine a time where they felt like they couldn't survive. You know, that they couldn't go any further and the truth is if they're listening to this, they did, they didn't survive it. You know, and to be able to acknowledge it, part of self-care is, and self-love is looking at that person in the mirror and that person has been through so much, but it's still standing.

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Once more, NetSuite.com forward slash J. Yeah, memory is such a tricky thing, like in the sense of not just remembering something, what I mean by that is we all know that there's a song from our past that it clicks on and almost all of a sudden you're feeling nostalgia and you're like remembering that moment when you're at college or whatever it was or right, you can go back to that place. So memory works in that way, but memory also works in the opposite way, like I was thinking to myself that just a few weeks ago, I couldn't walk. I was walking really slowly. I was really dealing with the pain. I was like,

okay, I never want to be so mindful. And then as soon as you start to feel better, it's so easy to just forget all of that. And just start walking normally again and being not mindful. It's almost like that where it's like pain makes you really present and conscious and there. And then all of a sudden when pain goes away, you're not present anymore and you kind of just get on with your life. And so I find it weird that sometimes our memories are so strong and sometimes it's so weak. Also when people have had a really painful trauma in the past, that pain stays with us and that we almost don't let go of enough. But then sometimes when we've had certain pains,

we let them go too quick. It's almost like how long pain stays with you is all pleasure stays with you is such a weird concept. And I guess what you're saying is that there are certain types of pain that we have to learn to let go. There are certain types of pain that we need to remember in order to not repeat the same mistake.

And it's like, how do you know which one's which? Or how do you process it? And even in relationship, a lot of emotional pain, mental anguish in relationships sometimes. And you know, when you're thinking about forgiving someone, you could forgive them and not forget in terms of the lesson that they talked to. And even adversity, I mean, do you feel part of it is in hindsight, I think, about what's the meaning of this? Right?

That's a choice that we can make at any given time. Do you think that what you went through most recently with your surgery? Do you think it's, do you look it in any way as what is this teaching me? Yeah, yeah, always. I think for me, I mean, there's a lot of lessons in it. One thing is I consider myself to be quite a mindful, healthy individual. I try and eat healthy.

I work out, I sleep healthy. I have good rhythms and routines. I definitely push the optimal performance button. Like I'm like, definitely always trying to figure that out. And I think things like this are very humbling. And that's how I, that's the biggest meaning I take away from all of this stuff is, you're not the controller, you're not Superman. You're not, you haven't figured everything out. Like they're very humbling. They're, they make you realize you're still in a human body and you have to deal with the

ups and downs of it. The second thing I think I took away from this whole journey was how much I've enjoyed being slow. Like, I consider myself like, I wanna say slow, I mean, I consider myself to be present mentally, but I think I'm quite fast physically, and I live a fast life physically. And, mental presence is a beautiful thing when you live fast,

but having physical presence also, which the surgery made me have for the first time in a long time, probably since I was a kid, I can't remember. I've literally felt like there were times when I was teaching myself how to slowly walk again and I pro-pressure on my feet, and I was like, wait a minute, it's really nice living life this slow. This is actually really special. I hope I can hold on to elements of this.

And yesterday it was funny because I was with my friends in New York City and we were on a walk and usually we looked at it, it was like 20 minutes to get someone, the store was going to close in 30 minutes. And I know that if I was walking that path like five months ago, I'd be like, we can do that in 10. Like that's what I would have said. And I said to my friend, he was like, look, I think I'm going to do it in probably like 23 minutes because I'm slower right now. And so we're only friend, he was like, look, I think I'm going to do it in probably like 23 minutes because I'm slower right now. Right.

And so we're only going to get seven minutes of the store. So if you guys want to go ahead, you guys go ahead, and I'm going to walk in my pace. And we walked in. We got there in 23 minutes and it was absolutely fine. But it was even just me having that shift. I was like, well, I'm really appreciating walking at this pace, even though I could get more done before.

There's a certain joy in moving at this pace. So I fully agree with you. I think there's so much meaning, so many lessons. And that is the only way to live. I mean, if you don't live that way, it just sends up being another inconvenience. Well, we certainly, all everybody can, we have this shared adversity, right?

It comes in different forms. You know, I mentioned my challenges were learning public speaking. As an adult, I had severe sleep issues from sleep apnea, obstructive, and I would, for five years, I slept 90 minutes a night, and it was really just tearing my mind up. That's crazy. Yeah, this is one of the things. And it wasn't straight. It was very interrupted. I would

stop breathing. It was more of a genetic thing, and I would stop breathing 240 times a night, at each time was like 10 seconds. And I did a series of surgeries, and I know how humbling that could be. And sometimes being reminded that we aren't always the superman or woman or a girl, there's a great foundation for curiosity. So what can I learn from this? There's a great foundation for curiosity.

So what can I learn from this? A great appreciation to cultivate gratitude. I think what you appreciate tends to appreciate. In our life for a sure and gratitude reads wires our nervous system for greater productivity, for greater performance, and certainly greater peace. And I think peace of mind is high currency today. Totally. Without a doubt. With my sleep though, mind is high currency today. Totally.

Without a doubt. With my sleep though, you know, and that was a very painful surgery. It was different than when you're a kid, you're taking, they took my tonsils, my uvella, my salt palette, and I was, you know, for weeks, could breathe, could eat, could do anything. But I think when I learned from my sleep issues, there was a gift in it, you know, when I'd be able to read, and remember, and focus, so I got to live what I teach, and practice what I thought. That's what it is, yeah, that's what it is. That's a big thing.

And then the other part of it is I found out that everything I did was for a reason. There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now. I would always say, heck yeah, I was sort of heck no. Because I think a lot of people get tired and because they have too many tabs open. Or maybe some people are watching right now feel burnt out because they're doing too much. Maybe you're not burnt out because you're doing too much. Maybe feel burnt out because you're doing too little of the things that make you feel

alive. The things that really light you up. And you know, being in that cocoon, part of it is you can get clarity. You know, I think solitude, when we choose to slow down and have, you know, get space from noise. And when you say yes to somebody or something, you're not saying no to yourself. And I think clarity, using time just even five, ten minutes a day to just clarify what's, sometimes when you're going a hundred miles an hour, you're not thinking about, oh, am I going in the right direction? Yeah. Right. And asking yourself a simple question, like, what's most important an hour, you're not thinking about, oh, am I going in the right direction? Yeah. Right?

And asking yourself a simple question, like, what's most important to me in my life? What's most important to me in this moment, in my relationships, in my career? And then asking yourself on the other side, are my actions today aligned with those values? Yes. Because sometimes, you know, we make doing something that's, it's not just about time management for productivity, it's about just about time management for productivity, it's about mind management, and it's about priority management.

You know, the most important thing is to get the most important thing, the most important thing, and that will allow you while you're cocooning, that clarity, as well as doing so, there are things like care and contribution, I could illiterate all the seas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes a difference to come out of this stronger,

to be able to sort to new heights as we're going through this transformation. Yeah, I think if someone's listening to this right now and like really feeling limited in, you know, the sense of how they feel about themselves, they're limited by how many options. I think options is an interesting thing. Like, you know, and it is different for different people.

I remembered that when I was in the corporate world and when I was employed, and yeah, I didn't do what was meaningful to me. I wasn't passionate about what I did. It was just what I needed to do to pay the bills and take care of things. What gave me more confidence was that I always would know if I had other options of what I could

do. And I would have to entertain options in order to realize that I wasn't as limited as I thought I was. Because there was a part of me that believed I was like, well, this is what I can do. This is the only qualification I have. Like no one else would give me a job. And then there was a part of me that was like, well, that's not true actually. I could change and shift and do this and do that.

I think often we limit the number of options we think we have. It's almost like going back to that Edison quote of like, I didn't fail 10,000 times. I just found 9,999 ways not to do it. And I think there's a deeper thought from him that I loved when he said, and this is something I always hold on to.

And Edison said, when you think you've exhausted all options, remember this, you haven't. And I've always loved that because sometimes I feel like that, sometimes I'm trying to make something happen, right? Maybe you're trying to get a book deal, maybe someone's trying to get a podcast deal, maybe someone's trying to raise a million dollars to save, you know, group of people from something that they're struggling with. And you try everything and then none of them work and you think, oh, well, it's just not meant to happen.

But Edison's take is, well, there's another, how do you kind of live for that one more? Yeah. It doesn't make sense. It does. They say that the problem is rarely the problem. The problem is our attitude about the problem. Yeah. With options, they've shown where it's one of those things

where if you're limited to one option or two options, you don't really have a whole lot of choice. But also if you have too many options, you might not actually anything because you struggle with decision fatigue, right? The menu is like 50 pages long, and then you have this overwhelm. And our brain primarily is more of a deletion device

is trying to keep options out or information out, otherwise we'd become overloaded and also overwhelmed. And so that's a big part of it. You know, something I teach in everything, when I'm working with a client, I just look through one framework, and I call it the limitless model. And maybe this will shed light and we can have a conversation about this where I believe

limits are learned in one of three areas. And so if everybody, we could turn this into a little exercise. If everybody can think about area where you feel limited, all right. So just think of any area where you feel like, and limitless is for me, it's not about like being perfect. Limitless is about advancing or progressing beyond which you currently believe or demonstrating is possible. And so if everybody thinks about an area of their health,

or maybe it's a relationship, where do you feel like you're stuck? Like you're not advancing. Where do you feel like you're in a box? Now that box by definition is three-dimensional, right? And there's three forces that contain that box, but they're also three-four. These are the same three forces that will liberate you out of that box and help you become more limitless.

So imagine that they're being represented by three intersecting circles. Some people are familiar with a Venn diagram. It's kind of like Mickey Mouse, two ears, two circles, and then a face, right? And they overlap. So the first one is your mindset. And so I believe that our mindset is something like I wasn't born with this idea that I had a broken brain. It was imprinted on me, right? And our mindset comes from our experience, through external environment, you know, through, throughout other people's expectations. And mindset, I'm defining

as the your attitude and I'm defining as your attitude and assumptions about something, your attitude's assumptions about what's possible, your attitudes and assumptions about what your capable of, because you could believe it's possible for somebody else to have that loving relationship or build that big business or have 100,000 followers,

but you might not believe it's possible for you and you still be stuck in that box. Besides what is possible, what you, what you're capable of, what you believe you deserve, right? A lot of people might be stuck in that box because they might know the right methods and may be motivated, but they don't believe that they deserve those things.

So those are the things that, and then I talk about uncovering and unlimiting those lies. So if you believe you're not smart enough, if you believe you're a slow reader, if you believe you're a slow reader, if you believe you're, I am a procrastinator, whatever happens to me, you're stuck in that box. The second circle that you have to take into a company's mindset,

and there are many interventions, by the way. If you feel like you could identify a lie that, hey, I'm not smart enough, I don't have the resource, whatever it is, you know, there's things that people have talked about on your show, whether it's emotional freedom technique, EMDR, hypnosis, there's a ways of changing your belief systems, right? The second circle though is just as powerful, the second M besides mindset is motivation,

you know, and motivation, you could have a limitless mindset, but not be motivated to get out of that box. You might think everything is possible, I deserve it, I'm capable, but you're not motivated to get out of the couch and do those things. For me, there's a simple formula for sustained motivation and it's p, the letter p times e times s3. So if we were to do a thought experiment and say, what do you want to be motivated for? Maybe for some people, it's to read every day. Leaders or readers, somebody has decades of experience like you do. You put into a book, think like a monk, and somebody sits down a few days and read that book.

They could download decades and days, but they're not reading every day. Maybe they're really good at buying a book, but they're not good at reading that book. This is some people, right? They're very good at adding to cart and it's just on their shelf shelf and becomes shelf-elp, not self-elp, right? But they're not motivated. And so maybe their mindset is, yeah, it's good to grow, but they're not motivated. So the piece, the answer, purpose. And what I mean by purpose is, and you're an expert at this, is just not just cognitive reasons, but how do you feel about something?

Because we know we're not logical. We are more emotional, right? And you mentioned that if there's a song that could take you back to when you're a child, it's that emotional feeling, that mood that got linked to that information is just like a food or a fragrance that could take you back to when you're a kid. So purpose allowing yourself to feel the benefits instead of just as a feeling your head to your heart, your hands, right? And so allow yourself to feel that. But even if someone has purpose, they might not read because they eat,

it's the answer to energy, right? A lot of some people, if they haven't slept because they have a newborn child, they can't focus, right? They can't have the mental afforditude, or maybe they ate some junk food, and I don't think there's junk food, there's junk and there's food,

but maybe they're in a food coma, and they don't have the energy to study. So you know, we talk about the best brain foods, how to reduce stress, to take a six- a-blown energy, your pure group could take a lot of energy out of you also as well. But let's say you have limitless purpose and limitless energy. The S3 are those small, simple steps.

You know, those tiny little actions you could take. So maybe it's working out and that's too big or going back to reading. Maybe it's working out and that's too big or going back to reading. Maybe it's reading a chapter is too big for someone who doesn't do that. Maybe just opening the book is a small, simple step. Reading one line is a small, simple step. Maybe working out an hour or a day is tough. Maybe getting your running shoes on. Maybe getting yourself to the gym is a small, simple step. I think a little by little, a little becomes a lot, you know. And so that's really the

key is consistency. Because if you're persistent, you could achieve it. But if you're consistent, you get to keep it. Yeah. And it's different between something being attainable and sustainable over time. And then finally, the last time were the methods. You know, once you have a limitless mindset, you have a limitless motivation, you could be doing old methods and still not yet where you need to go. All methods of sales, all methods of learning, all methods of health, and you wonder why you're still stuck in that box. And so, when's the last time we took time to upgrade our knowledge, our skills, our abilities.

So those are the three M's, and if people draw that out or even imagine that, you'll notice that the three M's overlap, and they create three eyes, too, where mindset and motivation crossover the first eye is inspiration, right? Because it changes what's inspiration, something that changes your mindset about what's possible and also you're a little bit motivated, you have some drive and purpose. But you might not have methods, you might not have the instruction, right? So you're still stuck in that box, where mindset and methods crossover, you believe it's

possible in your mind, and you know what to do, the methods, that's the second eye, which is ideation. It just stays an idea, right? Nothing's happening because you're not motivated. And then finally, where motivation and methods cross over, you have the third eye, which is implementation. You're motivated, you have purpose, you have energy, and you know what to do to do that get out of that box. But you still be stuck in that box because you're limited by your mindset. Yeah. And so that's what I think. And then we're all three connect. You have the fourth eye, which is your identity, which is integration. It's just who you are. And that's really the goal.

So my conversation with becoming more limitless is about drawing like where are we stuck? And I think when you could identify, oh, let's say someone can't remember names, is it my mindset? Do I believe I'm just too old or have a horrible memory? Or maybe that's not the case. Maybe it's, hey, I don't have a purpose. I don't have a reason to remember their names, right? Or I'm just really tired.

Or I don't have the methods. I was never taught. There's no class on how to remember names. And then it gives you your agency back. It gives you power back also. It's such a phenomenal framework. It's such a fantastic framework. And I know it's in the book limitless.

It's such a great framework. And I love the way you break things down. Because like you said, I think often we just spend too much time or we waste too much time just trying to figure out what the issue is. And it's one of those three. And once you know that, then you can break it down. And I think you've just given people a real map to say,

hey, which area you're struggling with with whatever limit they chose. I am Mi'amla. And on my podcast, The R-Spot, we're having inspirational, educational, and sometimes difficult and challenging conversations about relationships. They may not have the capacity to give you what you need, and insisting means that you are abusing yourself now. You human! That means that you're crazy as hell, just like the rest of us. When a relationship breaks down, I take copious notes and I want to share them with you. Anybody with two eyes and a brain knows that too much Alfredo sauce is just no good for

you. But if you're going to eat it, they're not going to stop you. So he's going to continue to give you the Alfredo sauce and put it even on your grits if you don't stop him. Listen to the R-Spot on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts. A good way to learn about a place is to talk to the people that live there. There's just this sexy vibe and Montreal, this pulse, this energy. What has been seen as a very snotty city?

People call it Bosedangeless. New Orleans is a town that never forgets its pay. A great way to get to know a place is to get invited to a dinner party. Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Newton and not lost as my new travel podcast where a friend and I go places, see the sights, and try to finagle our way into a dinner party. We're kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party. It doesn't always work out.

I would love that, but I have like a Cholala who is aggressive towards strangers. I love the dogs. We learn about the places we're visiting, yes, but we also learn about ourselves. I don't spend as much time thinking about how I'm gonna die alone when I'm traveling, but I get to travel with someone I love. Oh see we love I love you too. And also we get to eat as much as I love you too. My ex a lot of therapy goes behind that. You're so white I love it.

Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved bomb by the Tinder Swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty

for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify the narcissists in your life. Each week you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships,

gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And it works for yourself. And also it's a map you could use with people around you. It's up lens when you're working with your kids and they're not doing something that they know they should do,

you know, is it their mindset, do they not believe in themselves and I believe they're capable, do they not believe they deserve it? Or maybe they have no purpose to clean their room or to study these things, you know, if it's not relevant to them, they're probably not. And so you know what to address. Maybe we have to work on optimizing their energy because you don't have energy.

You do it. It's all idea. You take your nouns in your life and turn them into verbs. You don't have focus. People are thinking, that's my problem, Jim. I'm watching this because I don't have focus. But you don't have focus. You do it.

There's a process for focusing. You don't have a memory. There's a process of encoding, storing, and for focusing. You don't have a memory. There's a process of encoding, storing, and retrieving. You don't even have energy. There's a process for generating energy. As our friend Brennan-Bershara talks a lot about, a lot, that you generate this kind of energy. And there also, it can be the methods. Sometimes it's simply learning better tools also as well. So you could use it with your friends, you could work with your team. And this works micro, and it also works macro. This works at a cultural level, it works at the level of community, it works at the level of your country. There's a set mindset about what

may be around certain issues, right? And it's really hard to create change or becoming more limitless based on certain mindset around maybe fairness and quality, whatever happens to be. Or maybe these people in power, maybe they don't have purpose, or maybe they're being incentivized to keep things in a certain way, or maybe they lack energy or resources, or maybe they're using old methods for leadership

or making change, right? So it can happen micro or macro. That's unbelievable. Yeah, I love that. I love the framework even more, hearing it from you. It's just, I'm trying to think of so many areas in my life where I'm like, okay, which one am I struggling with? Like, which one is it where,

where we haven't got it right or we haven't figured it out? And I think if everyone just took a few moments today to reflect on that one area of their life that they wanna work on and identify it, with that process when we start to do it, you know, who we're around, we always have known that, like who we're around is such a big deal. Our friends, our family, our community,

like these things have a huge impact on us, right? Like, negativity's contagious, like so much. So many people say that they feel drained by the people around them or their family or that when they share a new big idea with someone that they love, they're often met with resistance. Like, I hear this so often. And when you think about limits, you think about what you said.

Like, you weren't born with limits. You had limits placed on you. But we either get to choose to accept or reject those limits, but it's really hard and it's really hard for people to reject a limit placed on them by someone they love and trust. Walk us through that a little bit like let's think out loud about that. When someone has their mother or their father or someone they really respect, place a limit on them.

You want that person to root for you, you want that person for you to win. We all need people to encourage us, to be able to challenge us, to be able to cheerlead for us, to believe in us. And if we haven't found that person yet, then my advice would be to be that person, be that person for somebody else,

especially be that person for somebody else, especially be that person for yourself. Right? You know, we talked about last time in this conversation, the difference between a thermostat and a thermometer. A thermometer on the wall, just, it's only function that reacts to the environment. And sometimes we, as human beings, we react to the economy, we react to politics, we react to how people treat us, we react to the weather. But we know through studies done on people who are most successful, at least at least the ones that are happiest and most fulfilled, they don't react as much as they respond, right? They're a thermostat.

A thermostat doesn't react to the environment. It gauges. It knows the temperature in this room, but it also, what, it sets a temperature and the environment reacts to it. So it's that agency. Last time you and I talked about some of the people that I get to be able to spend time with and coach and when I learn from those people, and one of them I mentioned was Stan Lee. And it wasn't just his playfulness and his passion for what he did.

It was also responsibility. I remember I picked him up for dinner one day evening and I asked them, like, I need to know this because I remember, I couldn't read and I tell myself how to read by reading comic books. I tell them that whole story because it brought the words to life. But I said, who's your favorite? Who's your favorite? And he says, Jim, my favorite is Iron Man.

And he says, Jim, who's your favorite? And he had the Spider-Man tie and I was like, Spider-Man. And he says, without a pause, is iconic voice. With great power comes great responsibility, right? And truthfully, I reverse a lot of things I see, I read, I hear, maybe because of my brain injuries as a child. And I heard something totally different. I was like, Sam, you're right, with great power comes

great responsibility. And the opposite is also true. With great responsibility comes great power. When we take responsibility for something, we have great power to make things better. And the thing is, when we make excuses, are we complaining? It's probably all valid.

We probably, it's, it's probably true, right? But it doesn't make anything better, right? So we use a lot of our focus, our attention, our energy, when it can be better, well spent, because we can't be upset by the results we didn't get from the work we didn't do. And so when we take personal responsibility, we have the power to make things better.

And I would say part of responsibility is our peer group certainly affects things. I always say watch. It affects W, our words. The words we started adopting the same language patterns as people around us started using the same phrases. The A, we start actions. We start doing the same behaviors as people around us

also as well. It's good and bad while we eat. So it's not just our neurological networks. It's our social networks. And who we spend time with is who we become. We start believing their same standards and their expectations of for us, right? The T and watch is we start mirroring the thoughts of the people around us. We start thinking the same way about ourselves as other people think about us.

The C is a big one. It's our character, right? We know that people, if they have breaks in integrity and they're around people that are disingenuous, you know, that they're more likely to pursue, you know, and have that same kind of standard. I saw recently a quote that said, integrity is measured by the distance between someone's lips and their life. And I just like, wow, that's a nice cut truth. Yeah, it's powerful. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that Truthbumps, but yeah, that's the character. And then finally, the H and Watch are habits. We start adopting the same routines and habits of the people that we spend time with. So we have to stand guard to the doors of our mind, right?

And we have these mirror neurons that's constantly in our nervous system that are constantly imitating the people around us. And so we can love our family and we can love our friends. But when our lives are fueled by the expectations and beliefs and opinions of other people, then we're gonna run out of gas, right? Good, bad, and then different. Part of it is owning that agency, saying that,

yeah, it's yes, it's hard. When people don't believe in you, and like that, that's, I was very blessed. I think I, you know, I won the lottery when it came to my parents. They immigrated here. They're not the most spiritual. They've never had a green juice. They don't do yoga. They're not the most health conscious or reprisal development books, but they're just really good people. They do what they're hardworking. They're very, very kind.

So I feel like everything that's good that's come out of me that I've ever done is I credit to them. Anything that's fall short, it's all on me. So I was very blessed. And it's not so much about the resources you have because we don't have any education. We don't have any money. We live in the back of a laundry mat that my mom worked at. Didn't have any connections or network or anything back then. And so I would say that if there's somebody else that has survived and even thrived, you know,

those kind of situations, that I do believe that genius in any of its form. And let's talk about IQ, that it's built, that it's not born. It's built around that we should be shrinking our lives and our dreams to meet this current situation. Instead, don't downgrade your dreams to meet this current situation.

What if we upgrade in our mindset? What if we upgrade in our motivation? What if we upgrade in our motivation? What if we upgraded the methods we're using to be able to meet our destiny? Jim, that is so powerful. I mean, that one statement, the reframe, I've had that, I'm a big Marvel fan, as you know. To hear that reframe of that statement with great responsibility comes great power. That's a universal principle. It's almost like if you think

about it that when you take on a great responsibility, everything in the universe can spy us to help you with it. And so the amount of help you get is about how much healing you're trying to bring. And that's really beautiful and powerful. I mean, that's going to stay with me for a long time. That's a really, really special insight. And I want to make sure that everyone goes out and grabs a copy. If you don't already, of limitless by Jim Quick, the 3M model is in this book and broken down step by step, as you saw, and her gym is a highly systematic, logical thinker. And so if you want really practical, key advice on all of these ideas and insights, then make sure you go and grab a copy of this book. Jim, I want to thank

you for teaching us all how to be limitless today and break through our limitations. I want to thank you for doing it in your own life. Thank your parents too for doing what they did. That was beautiful to hear that. And I'm always here to support and be right with you whatever you're doing. So thank you so much. I appreciate it. And thank you to your entire community. You know, I believe the world right now, so many people feel like they're dimming themselves their message to be able to because they don't want their life to shine in other people's eyes. And I feel like we need to be doing the opposite now more than ever. You know, we need a better brighter world. And I think that there's a version of ourselves

and our family is our purpose, everything that's patiently waiting in the goal as we show up every single day until we're introduced. Well said, well said. Tim Quick, everyone, make sure that you tag me and Jim on Instagram, on Twitter, on TikTok, whatever platform you're using. Let us know what you learned, what you took away,

what you've gained from this conversation. We're gonna be back next week, of course, with another incredible episode of on purpose. Thank you for all your love, make sure you subscribe, and Jim, thank you so much again for joining us. It's been an honor. The world of chocolate has been turned upside down. A very unusual situation. You saw the stacks of cash in her office.

Chocolate comes from the cacountry, and recently, Variety's cacao, thought to have been lost centuries ago, were re-discovered in the Amazon. There was no chocolate on earth like this. Now some chocolate makers are racing, deep into into the jungle to find the next game-changing chocolate, and I'm coming along. OK, that was a very large crack it up. Listen to the obsessions while chocolate. On the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcast. Our 20s often seen as this golden decade, our time to be keptfree, make mistakes, and figure out our lives. But what can psychology teach us about this time? I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the psychology of your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, and much more to explore the science behind our experiences, the psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Listen now on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

When my daughter ran off to hop trains, I was terrified I'd never see her again, so I followed her into the train yard. This is what it sounds like inside the box-car. And into the city of the rails, there I found a surprising world, so brutal and beautiful, that it changed me. But the rails do that to everyone. There is another world out there, and if you want to play with with the devil you're gonna find them there in the rail yard. I'm Denon Morton come with me to find out what waits for us in the city of the rails. Listen to city of the rails on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your

podcasts or cityoftherails.com