On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Joe Jonas ON: The Fear of Failing & How to Find Courage to Leave Your Comfort Zone

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.Today, I am talking to Joe Jonas. Joe rose to fame, alongside his brothers Kevin and Nick, as a member of the pop rock group Jonas Brothers. The band became one of Disney's prominent figures and even took the lead roles in the widely successful musical television film Camp Rock and Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam.    Joe opens the conversation by sharing how he had come to love meditation and how this has helped him appreciate self love even more. We talk about his struggles as a solo artist, the realization that he needed professional help which eventually led to therapy which then led to the understanding that his feelings were valid. Joe is proud of his humble beginnings and how this affects our perspectives, becoming a husband and a father, and the value of staying connected to the people that you truly care for.      This episode was filmed at Soho Works: 10 Jay Street.What We Discuss:00:00:00 Intro00:03:31 Creating a bond through meditation00:08:35 When did you start to work on yourself?00:17:02 Respect for individual creativity00:22:25 Venturing into acting00:26:18 Inspiration to develop a good work ethic00:31:23 Humble beginnings is so essential00:35:58 We’re each other’s best friend00:38:41 Enjoy every moment with your child00:41:28 An unforgettable experience with a therapist00:43:27 What’s your daily routine?00:47:08 An interview with Vanessa Bryant00:49:37 Sometimes it better to reach out first00:52:53 Keeping relationships as healthy as much as possible00:57:29 Final Five with JoeEpisode ResourcesJoe Jonas | TikTokJoe Jonas | InstagramJoe Jonas | TwitterDo you want to meditate daily with me? Go to go.calm.com/onpurpose to get 40% off a Calm Premium Membership. Experience the Daily Jay. Only on CalmWant to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care.

I am Dr. Romani and I am back with season 2 of my podcast Navigating Narcissism. This season we dive deeper into highlighting red flags and spotting a narcissist before they spot you. Each week you'll hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and their process of healing. Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Nunehm.

I'm a journalist, a wanderer, and a bit of a bond-vivant, but mostly a human just trying to figure out what it's all about. And not lost is my new podcast about all those things. It's a travel show where each week I go with a friend to a new place and to really understand it, try to get invited to a local's house for dinner. Where kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party. It doesn't always work out. Ooh, I have to get back to you. Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. It's like, I want you to write a letter to yourself as a kid knowing to think of that age. And then I wrote a letter to myself like, yeah, you know, like it's okay to like be weirdo. Like,

you're getting picked off for that. That's cool. One day, this guys are going to come to your concert. And then I wrote a letter to myself as an adult, but as an eight year old self. And I couldn't get through the, I mean, I'm bawling, crying. Ugh, I have the letter framed in my house. It was just such a great reminder to be a kid at heart and not to be too hard on ourselves.

Yeah. We're all big kids at the end of the day, trying to figure this crazy thing called life Out. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. Now I know that you're listening because you want to be happy, you want to be healthy and you want to be healed. And I'm so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it.

My new book, Eight Rules of Love is out and I cannot wait to share it with you. I am so, so excited for you to read this book, for you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to eightrulesoflove.com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep or let

go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour. Love rules. Go to jsheddytour.com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait to see you this year. And it's not always that I get to do this, but I try and sit down with guests that I have really deep meaning for relationships with. And I like to share that with you because I find that when these relationships develop organically offline, then when we bring them online, usually after a couple of years,

you get to experience something special, you get to hear two friends talking, you get to hear people not scared of being interviewed, you get to hear me not being confused or flustered about where I want to go. And I really hope that this interview is going to do that for you. I'm speaking to someone who needs no introduction. I'm speaking to someone who I absolutely admire and respect on so many levels. You're gonna see that throughout the interview.

And I'm speaking to someone who became one of my dearest friends without meeting him during the pandemic. I'm speaking about the one, the only Joe Jonas, one of the kindest, sweetest, most down to earth humans. I know there is not a bad bone in this guy's body. He's given me memories that were lost a lifetime. I'm so grateful that he's finally on on purpose.

Joe, wow, thank you. Welcome to the show. What an intro. It was from the, I need you to introduce every show from now on. I would do it. Nice as a person I know. I'll do it.

Let me be the voice of God at your events. Please, we have a show tomorrow. You can do it. I'm so thrilled to do it. Let me be the voice of God at your events. Please, we have a show tomorrow. You can do it. I'm so thrilled to do this. Honestly, your podcast has been on my top lessons every week. Life-changing and it's interesting how I've quite... I'm kind of late to the game. I discovered Jay Shetty a bit further along in my meditation journey than most when we

first met was via Zoom. Actually, the first time we met was in front of like thousands of people online and then we didn't actually meet in person until I probably year and a half, two years later. My brother met you twice before. Yeah, Nick met you twice. Yeah. So I was quite jealous and I was like, maybe he's not real. He's an AI version of this person that was created. But I'm glad to say you're real. I'm glad that we've become so close and you've been so helpful for me. Am I on my personal walk with whether it's the

Jonas Brothers to personal things I'm going through that I've expressed with you. And on a bigger scale, just like the days that we live our lives for everyone else and how I'm able to that I've expressed with you. And on a bigger scale, I'm just like the days that we live our lives for everyone else and how I'm able to function like with normal human being when I go home at the end of the day. So it's been really helpful.

So thank you. No, and I want to give you some credit for this because I think a lot of this stuff happens behind the scenes and people are unaware, especially with someone like you, you've been popular and famous for so much of your life. And there's so much written about people and so much you of your life. And there's so much written about people and so much you hear about people.

And there's so much you don't hear. And I think in my line of work where I get to see the behind the scenes of a lot of people, I like to be able to share that because I think it's important. So what Joe's talking about for anyone who's listening or watching back at home is we did this charity event, thanks to it.

I want to give a big shout out to David Johnson, right? Because David Johnson, yeah, because David knew that David felt that we would connect and we did this event for We Day, and it was Joe Lillie Collins and myself, and Lillie and Joe were hosting, and I was asked to teach him meditation. And literally seconds after this meditation finishes

live online to thousands of people, I get a message from Joe, like probably I literally in the next couple of hours, saying, hey, I'd love to do a meditation like that for my friends. And I'm like, cool, that sounds great, let's do it. And I thought nothing of it. I was like, yeah, that makes sense. He obviously enjoyed it. That's great. Love that. And so we did it. So we set it up for that Sunday. I think it was a Sunday. Right. And he set up a Zoom link. He sent me, love that. And so we did it. So we set it off for that Sunday, I think it was a Sunday. Right.

And he set up a Zoom link, he sent me a Zoom link, and we started this thing and like, maybe, I can't remember how do people join the first one. The first one's probably close to like six or seven people. Oh, is it really, okay, right? It was pretty intimate. Yeah, so if I'm correct. Yeah, yeah.

And then cut to, you know, after the first few weeks, more people started to join. And there was always the same 10. But for sure, sometimes it was like 30 people are on the Zoom. And all different walks of life, people from all over the world, obviously when we're in proper lockdown, and a lot of things were happening in the world. It was really the best thing to have at the end of your week, or the beginning of your week, to just get together and meditate with people, and then have a discussion, whether people, and you were so kind,

and you've, still, we still do this, so you're still so kind to take time out. You're crazy schedule to answer any questions or even give advice, and sometimes it's just an open floor to talk and express how everybody's feeling and it was so helpful for me but it's also I think really been a wonderful experience to give back to all my friends and or at least to be able to present a comfortable place where they can just be themselves and talk about their emotions and not feel embarrassed about it and

it's been incredible. Yeah the impressive part to me though was, and obviously you get me beautiful friends and family and people like Greg and Vanessa Hodgins been on the show. I met her through the Zen Zone. She talked about how she met Cole through the Zen Z. I mean, she lived in that Cole. Her boyfriend, her now boyfriend, who played for the Pittsburgh Pirates for years and are my good friend, Christo.

Invited him one day. So he invited him one day. So he invited him one day on the Zoom. And then, yeah, then Vanessa met Cole through this Zoom. Like, so there's been like, romance that's come from this, but it's really special. And I'm glad that we kept it up. And obviously, everyone's life kind of got back to normal,

but we still wanted to do it. I saw a few people last week and they were like, when are we doing it again? We have to do it yet. Obviously, it's become like a norm for us. Well, that's what I was going to say, that the impressive part, and now we'll put a bow in the bromance and start getting to an interview, everyone has been listening, but the most impressive part is that we did it for 75 weeks. I think when I calculated, it was like 75, 85, maybe we even did a few more. And I think it's that level of consistency that I admire in someone like you, you know, anyone can do one and anyone can be like

inspired for a week. But to be inspired and through our conversations, I've continued to see that like, to be inspired and consistent with something for that long and then to inspire a community to do that, it requires someone really special. So I really am so impressed by that. And it became the model of how I work with so many people where I realized that you taught me that you were like, hey, just don't make it a one-on-one, like bring people along for the journey. And so you really inspired me in that way. And anyone who ever asked for a meditation, I started saying to them, make sure you invite your friends because Joe did this thing,

and it inspired me. And I genuinely think it's changed the model of how I work with people. What? Like as well, you know, what I miss so dearly, it was just that connection of being around my friends, obviously everyone and family. And I was also getting tired of these like Zoom parties,

where you're playing games games and you're like, all right, this is not working for me anymore. So the idea that you feel on an emotional level you can connect with people. And also there's accountability of like, you kept your camera on and your audio on. So everyone was able to be actually meditating with each other and feel that difference.

Because we know how it usually goes. When you're in a Zoom meeting or a party, to be actually meditating with each other and feel that difference. Because we know how it usually goes. When you're in a Zoom meeting or a party, like half the time you're hitting the mute button and cameras off and you're doing something else or you're on a bicycle while you're doing it. So it was nice to be present and do it. Yeah.

Let's get into it. Because I really want people to hear about your journey, especially your personal growth journey. The journey you've been through. As an amazing husband, a father, this incredible growth journey you've been on. And I think for people who've known you for such a long time, I remember coming to your events last year

and you've got all these new young audiences, then you've got audiences who've been with you for all these years. When did you start realizing you wanted to work on yourself? When was that like an idea or a thought, a seed? When did you start realizing you wanted to work on yourself? Like when was that like a idea or a thought, a seed? When did it start? There's been a few hurdles that I felt like I probably need to take care of myself physically, mentally.

I think the biggest one that comes to mind many years ago I released a solo album, so I did a record alongside with my brothers. We all started to feel like we had separate personal interests professionally. I'm not really proud of it. I like it even more than I used to. I think at the time there was a lot of cooks in the kitchen. When you're performing at the level that the Jonas Brothers were back when, it was just chaos and craziness and number one albums and the song would break records on YouTube and things were happening in real time. You kind of think like,

all right, this is the norm, this is going to happen for me too. And I think that's like, obviously, a really bizarre thing to even think about, but that started to become like, okay, anything we touch, I think it's going to really take off. And I had kind of a wake-up call when I released this album and they didn't perform as well as say the brother's stuff. And also forgot that the years and years of hard work that we put into the brother's music to even get to a level where that many people are listening to our songs. I took it really hard, but I didn't realize how I actually felt in the moments. I figured, okay, well, I'll just get back on the road and start promoting this. And I had a bit of a lifespan with this album.

I knew that the next brother's project was right around the corner. So at about a year and a half to really focus in on this album called Fast Life. was right around the corner. So, at about a year and a half to really focus in on this album called Fast Life. And I was here in New York after the album was out and it didn't really do much and started reading reviews, started seeing the reactions.

And it hit me like a ton of bricks. And I started feeling like physically ill. And I really told myself and I believed that I was sick. So I would go to the doctor, I started going to the doctor like every other week and then it became like every week and it was almost like a joke with my friends. We're like, oh, Sunday, Sunday,

Joe's going to the hospital again to get a checkup and I would do like full body checkups and look at the doctor and be like, Doc, like you got it, like, all right, I would do like full body checkups and look at the doctor and be like, Doc, you got it, like, all right, I would do ultrasound on my stomach. I would, it became a thing where it was comical because I'm a hypokondriac, I'm just, I'm overthinking these symptoms

or creating these in my mind. And one doctor finally just said to me that like, have you thought or spoken to a therapist? And I was like, me? No, why would I, why would I have her neap therapy? I'm just great. And it kind of just hit me after I left. And I was like, oh my God, maybe they're right.

Like the doctor's like, I have all of your results here from the last three visits and you have nothing wrong with you physically. You're in great health, but obviously there's something going on and she's like, this is what I would suggest. So sure enough, I started seeing somebody and I was like, oh, this is why. Right before that window where I started speaking to somebody, I was here in New York and I'd go on these bike journeys.

And I would ride my bike from like eight in the morning to eight at night and stop along the way. But it was like an escape for me. And I wasn't able to look at my phone. I wasn't able to think about the album. I was just kind of checking out. So I was like, still running away, avoiding the album. I was just kind of checking out. So I was like still running away, avoiding the problems. But I thought this is like, oh, this is what I needed. I mean, I got the bike. I'm feeling sick again. And so I started talking to therapists and really dove into

all of that pain and trauma that I created for myself. And it was weird that it stemmed from something as simple as like, oh, the album didn't do as well. I thought, what you think? Like, it's not the biggest deal in the world, but I think in my brain, I was pushing myself so hard and I had these expectations really set high. That brought me into the walk of therapy and then the walk of meditation with you.

And I mean, that's years and years later, but that's how I started kind of saying okay I think I need to take care of myself and I'm not there's 15 year old kid anymore that can just run run run run run and be fine yeah and it's it's amazing actually the other way around too I don't know if you've ever thought about it this way but it's like you said like oh I shouldn't have maybe felt that bad that this solo album didn't do so well. But it's like, how old were you when you did the solo album?

It's probably about 21, 22 years old, yeah. Yeah, and it's like, you're still a young adult. Yeah, that's what I mean, you're stealing it out. Exactly, and that's what I wonder. It's almost like going away from something that was a surefire win to try something new and potentially out there and risky and moving away from like a tried and tested formula to try something new and potentially out there and risky

and moving away from a tried and tested formula of the brothers actually requires a lot of courage. And most people try and hang on to what's tried and true and would be scared to do what you did. And so I think there's also a lot of like, yeah, it took a long time to come to that realization. Yeah, those like trend words flash in your brain. Like I saw a headline, like,

ooh, failure. And I took that word, and that was my identity about album. And years later, I was like, what? I wouldn't even listen to the songs as well. And years later, I started listening to them again and obviously going through the work and realizing that, like you said, yeah, that journey, that leap of faith,

it actually do something else, rather than just be pigeon-held to like, this is the comfortable place, this is the breadwinner, I'm good here. Yeah. I was like, I'm taking the leap of faith on my own. And that's a big enough, it doesn't matter who, how many peacefulists undo it. If everybody loved it, hated it, whatever. Yeah. Doing it for me.

And I lost touch with that. Yeah. But that commitment as well, even at that early age, when was it you started to see a therapist who was around that same time, right, 2022? Yeah, about 21-22. Yeah, like that commitment to that truly working on yourself in a reflective way, like that's a big deal, even at that age, like to accept that you need help,

then to find help. What was that like for the rest of your family? Like, how was other people reacting to it? Is I feel like today, when people try to seek help, often it's in, and I met your parents, they're absolutely wonderful, I met your brothers, they're wonderful, like, you know, I've met all your partners. I don't think I met Kevin's wife, but I've met,

you know, both of your partners. You know, the crew. Yeah, yeah, I know that I've interacted with the family. And so I'm like, I can imagine that they were positive towards you. But what was it like initially? Like how does that feel like to your parent? I think my, you know, my, our dad has been the most incredible person to go to with pretty much anything.

I mean, he was a minister for many years. Then he was our manager for a good amount of years. Then around the same time, it became like that solely again, which was actually great because we had, I had like my dad to go to about stuff. But, you know, when you start that journey of like seeking outside help, it is, I think as a parent, it'd be a little bit,

it's gonna take a beat to realize, like, oh, you're not the only one that can give advice now. But also, I get it. I think my parents are really mature in that sense where they respect medical professionals. So I think if the person has the degree to be able to give that advice, then I think that they're going to feel more comfortable.

I mean, there's been people that I think I've gone to for advice that my dad was like, I'm going to raise my hand and say this is my opinion, I don't know if this is the right person for you, but let's find somebody with like a couple of doctorates. Yeah, yeah, that's bad, that's good advice. Yeah, no, your parents are so sweet when I'm at it. Because it's so easy to find anybody like our Google the closest therapist or person to or life coach or whatever it may be, but they actually have somebody who knows as this key. Yeah, I love what you said though about how like you're like, you know, I had to realize that

the brothers had spent all these years building something and then obviously you were trying to do something on your own. How is your personal creative process changed since then? Like, how have you adapted since the first round of the brothers to doing your own thing to now? Well, doing, yeah, like, how have you changed that? Well, it's changed quite a bit. I feel like with DNC-E, I had, and for those

that are listening or watching, I'm going to band as well with my brothers called DNC. We have a song, Cake by the Ocean, was our first song I wrote for the band with Justin Tranner. Great song. Thank you. Great on stage. And that song and the way it took off actually was the first bit of feeling of, okay, this other style of music that I really love to create. I can also pursue and follow this butterfly and see where it takes me because I can bring this back to the brother. So I've been able to go on my own and I think grow as a writer and a producer and creator, and have that time, and then bring it back. And it's really great now.

We have such respect for our individual ways of writing and producing. And when Nick and I wrote our most recent album, we had like two different rooms going. So Nick was writing something with somebody, and I had another room going. And we kind of like brought the best delves and then had another room going and we kind of like brought the best delves and then came to the table and said here's what I'm thinking, here's

what I'm thinking and we like kind of work together. We used to just argue our way through songwriting sessions or everybody wants the chorus, you know, it's like, I want the chorus, my voice sounds going on this and we're like, oh I really want to sing this because I kind of think it relates to something I'm going through more and that was just like now it's quite nice that we're like, oh, I really want to sing this because I kind of think it relates to something I'm going through more. And that was just like, now it's quite nice that we're meeting each other really at the same place. You know, we're all fathers, we're all in this great place where like, no, it's not like one brother's

like trying to find the next yacht party and one's like tucking a kid in bed. It's like, but really actually living the same place in our lives. And that makes a huge difference when it comes to the music, I think. Yeah, yeah. And the new music it feels that, lyrically, and we can actually tell this grown-up story,

and that's essential. Yeah, that's so exciting to hear, actually, to hear about how if you're working in a team when you're in a similar place in life, often there's a bit more empathy, there's a bit more understanding, there's a bit more understanding, there's a bit more. I think it's comparable to any career path. I mean, if you're writing a film with a good friend

and Juan wants to write a love story, and then there's like, no, I want to write a war film, and that's that's that. There's going to be no love in it. It's definitely going to be tough. Yeah. And so I think we felt that when we wrote songs and do like one person's going through a heartbreak and the other is like, well I just started seeing somebody.

It's like and I know that's really on the the romance front but that those heads butted. Yeah, also I've gotten the opportunity in the last couple years to write music for film and TV. And I love putting a thinking cap on of somebody else. So I'm thinking as the character, what would they feel? And so everything during the lockdown, I wrote a song for an animated film called Rumble, about like wrestling monsters. So putting on a thinking cap of like, all right, what would they sing about?

Yeah. And then just recently wrote a song for the film I shot last year, Devotion. I, the director about six months later asked me if I would be interested in writing the end credits song. So I got to write with Ryan Teder and Harv who wrote, he was born to the right on peaches for Justin Bieber. And I got my buddy Khalid a part of the song. And that was a really special experience

because I also got to think about what it was like. For the main character in the film and his relationship and how it was comparison to my relationship and people that are just away from their families and friends a lot. And just what of that feeling of you don't have to feel like you're alone. I'm always there for you.

Whether it's spiritual or mentally, it takes that mindset. Yeah, I mean, that was a lot of the crew for devotion. They were the ones that were part of our Zen Zen, right? It was cool. It was really special. Yeah, I mean, actors, at least the actors I've run into, meditation is so key on set. I mean, when you're having, even if it's like a split second,

where you have to get into character and just take a second and get it, be like, all right, where am I? Where did I just come from? And it may sometimes be a little conversation in your own head, and I found it immensely helpful in scenes, some of the tools you've given me that I keep in my back pocket. And I use whether it's on stage or I'm about to hit a terrible golf shot.

I can think of, all right, breathe in, pull first. Yeah, I can't improve anyone's golf game. I can't even improve my own. My meditation doesn't, someone told me meditation and golf. Hey man, there's a book there. Yeah, there's a book there. When I get good at golf. With masterclass you can learn from the world's best minds anytime anywhere and at your own pace. You can learn songwriting from John Legend, entrepreneurship from Richard Branson, or even learn the power of personal branding from Chris Jenner. With over 180 classes from a range of world-class instructors,

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Go to masterclass.com forward slash on purpose today. That's masterclass.com forward slash on purpose terms apply. But tell me about that transition because I think like, you know, I've seen you on stage, you're a natural performer. I always I always tell you like I see these pictures come out and like, dude, you just remind me of Freddie Mercury, who I love, right? Thank you. I love like Queen was my favorite bang on up and and so any footage I've ever seen of watching Freddie Mercury live is just unbelievable. And so that comes very naturally to you,

you've done it for a long time. What was it that even gave that shift when I heard you were acting? Because you'd just forever under real life too. You'd be on set, like you'd be in all these random locations, then like logging into Zenzone on your phone. And like, but what brought that transition about? Where did that impetus come from?

Where did that excitement come from? Hey, it's Debbie Brown. And my podcast, Deeply Well, is a soft place to land on your wellness journey. I hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness and mental health around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your journey.

From guided meditations to deep conversations with some of the world's most gifted experts in self-care, trauma, psychology, spirituality, astrology, and even intimacy. Here is where you'll pick up the tools to live as your highest self. Make better choices. Heal and have more joy. My work is rooted in advanced meditation, metaphysics, spiritual psychology, energy healing, and trauma-informed practices. I believe that the more we heal and grow within ourselves, the more we are able to

bring our creativity to life and live our purpose, which leads to community impact and higher consciousness for all beings. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well is available now on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you listen to podcasts. Big love, namaste. I'm Dr. Romani, and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved bomb by the Tinder Swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself,

I know how to identify the narcissists in your life. Each week you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The therapy for Black Girls podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help Black women

dig a little deeper into the most impactful relationships in our lives, those with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends, and most importantly, ourselves. We chat about things like what to do when a friendship ends, how to know when it's time to break up with your therapist, and how to end the cycle of perfectionism.

I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. And I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Take good care.

Yeah, well, when I was much younger, I always wanted to act. I always wanted to, like, I always put on a show in our basement. I had the Joe show. It was like a talk show that I put on and imitated a late-night talk shows. And then there was a popular TV series on that Nickelodeon called All That that was like a kids version of SNL. And I wanted to be a part of that show. I was like, these kids are allowed to be wacky and fun on TV. This is amazing. And then years later, you know, doing stuff with Disney, we did camp rock and we always like, dabbled in film and TV and I had opportunities along the way, but music was always my main focus and that took up a lot of time. And the limit about of weeks or months of the year that I was making an album where I was a

little bit quiet, and we're still working. Not until really the lockdown where I saw an opportunity of time and started auditioning and having conversations, I had a conversation with JD, the director of devotion, which I just straight up told him, like, look, I know I'm not the first choice. I get that simply because I don't have the credits to prove that I can do this, but I will work so hard for you. I will prove to you that I can do this. And I sent myself a tape in and it was a life-changing experience.

I mean, I'm lucky that I'm a part of a film like that, or I should say, I'm very grateful that I'm a part of a film like that where I I should say, I'm very grateful that I'm a part of film like that where I'm surrounded by such great talent. And just soaking it up, I knew day one's showing up on set, Jonathan Majors, who plays Jesse Brown, one of our leads of the film. I mean, he was in character at the table read in his flight suit.

And I was like, oh, okay, this is real. And I just felt so excited to just learn. And it's a bit addictive because when you have somebody that is that in character all the time, it rubs off on you. So like all the other guys, we started dressing in 1950s clothes. And then we started, like afterwards, I still was shaving every day like they were in the Navy and I just, like, I loved that aspect of

it where you really try to dive in. Yeah, and you were working out a lot too, right? Like I swear during that movie, you're like, well, I'll tell you what, I showed the day the fitting was I showed up to set and I saw all these photos, mostly just like shirtless photos of these actors, and I was like, oh, I need to get, I need to get, I thought my two days was enough. And I was like, I gotta, and they were like looking at their ages, and I was like, man, this guy's like,

60, half, seven years younger than me, I was like, all right, I gotta keep up with these kids. But yeah, it inspired me to like work out and we did a lot of military training where we were like, we were doing group runs and, you know, just working on on set a lot because we're just sitting around. And I think that's why meditation really came in handy, working out came in handy on set.

What they don't tell you about being in these beautiful films is that there's a lot of downtime. Yeah, a lot of waiting around. And if you're not number one or two on the call sheet, then you're probably just hanging out and waiting for them to be like, we need you in the background. So a lot of times spent,

and I was just like built a little workout. Yeah, I built a gym in my back of my car, essentially. And I just would, and I had a shower. So if I got sweaty, I would just shower in the trailer and then get ready again. Wow. Meditation. I mean, we do a ZenZones on set. We do these zooms where we did meditation on set.

And it was really amazing. Where did that work have to come from for you? Because that's what I was talking about earlier, right? Like you discipline your ability to apply your mind, you're consistency, like those things are not always common because, you know, especially when you're being artistic and creative, sometimes you need spontaneity and you sometimes just have like an artistic moment but you've been able to balance the two.

Like, where did that work ethic develop? Like, how early was that? When did that, was that from parenting? Was that from the brothers? Like, where did that, was that from parenting, was that from the brothers, like, where did that come from? You know, I chop some of it up to my parents. They worked really hard. I mean, I watched, I didn't really click.

My dad, you know, he was very much in debt, putting his energy, focus, money into the brothers when we started. I mean, the guy was like three or four jobs, he was driving every day from New Jersey, you drive us to the city to record a song, drive us back, means like an hour each way if you're lucky and there's no traffic.

And then on weekends, he's a minister. It's just like, wow. Joking a lot of hats and also catering to like an entire church and their stuff. So some of that, and also I think just when it comes down to it, I just wanna keep pushing myself. And also I'm so grateful that I get to do what I love for living every day.

I wake up and write a gratitude list. And on that list, it's usually one of the top four things is I'm grateful that I get to do what I love for living every single day, especially when there's so many people out there and there's so much music constantly coming out. And on the acting side, there's so many great actors out there that are constantly you're seeing and to be a part of a film like that or to have music pop up on Spotify, New Music Friday or wherever it may be. I'm like, I am so immensely grateful that I get to do this and continue to get to do this. And that makes me want to work even much, that much harder because I don't want to just

say, okay, you know what, the brothers are big enough. We're playing these big venues. We're like, it's like, great, this is a nice paycheck. You'll see me every year, guys. It's like, no, I wanna, like, how do we make this, like how we make the music better? How do we make, or bigger, a bigger meaning like, sonically, and how do we, how do we connect more with our fan base and where they're out in their life,

because they're growing up with us and they have, and it feels so great when we can listen to the music and say, I'm so proud of this because it connects on some of the different points. And I'm being a part of a film like devotion, emotionally a beautiful, true story, and other things that I'm working on. Just I try to make sure that I'm really passionate about it.

Yeah, yeah. And that comes across. And I love what that point you made about your parents. I mean, I think about that often with my parents who were both immigrants. Now, my mom moved to London when she was 16 years old, which I can't imagine what that feels like. You know, English is not their first language. And then you're starting out from scratch, like nothing.

And then when I was, she was like making us breakfast, me and my sister, dropping us to school, going to work, getting us picked up in the evening, making us dinner, just like taking care of us. And I just, I always look at my mom's work, I think. And I think that's, I can, I feel that similarity where I'm like, I work this hard because I saw my mom work that hard. A hundred percent. Yeah. And like the humble beginnings, it really is like, I'm really glad the way we grew up. Like I mean, there was a moment where all four boys

are in one bedroom. And four boys, meaning our youngest at the time was the youngest brother was, yeah, these baby. And we're like teenagers and we're starting this band. We play these big stages and go back and sleep in the same bedroom. And at the time, I hated it because I was like, oh, but it's also now, I'm like,

that's what made me who I am today. And I think if it was a different situation, I don't know if I would be in the same mindset. Yeah, speaking about that, though, like one thing I've noticed with you from the time we have spent together and even with everyone else, whether it's online or offline,

it's like, you're super grounded, you make everyone feel comfortable around you. Like, I remember when we were like, hanging out last year in New York, and, you know, I'm always mindful. I'm like, I assure you want to go there. Like, you know, as you can be surrounded by people, and like, you were so cool when people came up,

and, you know, we'd always bump into groups of people who were just happy to say hello to you. And you've always, you seem very comfortable with obviously you've done it for a long time, but you're very comfortable with people. You're very easy with people. You're very grounded. I don't, I don't notice ego and arrogance when I talk to you

and I talk, see how you deal with your team, your friends, everyone in your life. And it's really beautiful to watch. Oh, thank you. And I really appreciate that because when I was in the monastery, it was like the most, we were trained to believe that the most admirable quality in someone was humility. Like, that was seen as like the crown jewel of all qualities,

was if someone could be extremely accomplished, but be humble. And that doesn't mean that they think they're worthless. It just means that they still treat everyone with respect. And I see that in you. And so, I wonder was arrogance and ego ever a challenge? Was that ever, or was that just like, obviously we'll have it when we're young and it goes away?

Or was it something that you got more used to with fame? Like how did, I just wanna hear your story with that because I feel like, yeah, it's just special watching you where you are now and just how effortless it is. It's interesting because there's been definitely times I feel like I've been affected by the feeling of being on stage and feeling larger than life at times. You're like this feeling is like I'm just you know your only way to put it is like the quarterback

that wins the high school football game like we're doing it every night on stage. That energy and Screaming your name. Yeah, it's just it's trippy. And it definitely can affect you. I am really grateful that I've had two guys to do this with. Brothers keep you pretty accountable and humble. And we stomped each other around a lot. I think that humble beginnings was also essential.

Like, don't forget where you came from. And all those things are so easy to just forget. It's just moved to LA and get a big house and like you're retired, like whatever, don't talk to me. I'm hiding out. And to each their own, I just, I still don't know what the ingredient ones,

but the magic ingredient was, but I think it's a bunch of different things and I think also just getting older and like finding my own like happiness outside of the brothers outside of music, outside of film or TV just like on my own personal front I'd be able to you know a bit of separates church and state and that's where it's nice to just have something for myself. And so, Fennai, I'm speaking to her obviously. We, my wife, for those who don't know what to talk about, or whom I'm talking about. We were very particular with sharing our relationship.

So we didn't really post anything about our relationship till we were engaged. And it was nice for the first time to actually just have something for us, for me, that I didn't feel like I needed to share with the world. And I think, you know, she is also keeps me humble and accountable. And it's been amazing to have a partner like her. I wind up my wife all the time because she does the same thing to me.

Like, my wife keeps me so humble and so grounded. And so I'll wind her up by saying really ego-testing things around her all the same thing to me. Like my wife keeps me so harmful and so grounded. And so I'll wind her up by saying really ego-testing things around her all the time just to see how she reacts. And she never takes it as a joke. Like to her, it's like, you can't even joke about being arrogant. I can't look at the mirror in a certain way. Yeah. Well, I can't look in selfies as I'm saying. If I look at it, she's like, why are you doing that part?

Like, what is wrong with you? I mean, she, yeah, she'll tell me straight up. She'll be like, you're not gonna wear it with those shoes, right? Quote, like yesterday, I was like, well, I was planning on it, but... And there's like, obviously, a lot of great things that come from it, saying the funny things, but I think it's been really helpful to have outside of brothers,

even like accountability when it comes to fame. Yeah. Having a partner who is like supportive and also trustworthy and you know, has your back, but also will keep your head on straight. Yeah, definitely. I couldn't agree more. I think about that all the time that I can't imagine how hard it is to create that obviously Sophie has an incredible career herself as well. So it makes it somewhat more understanding. But I, with my life, it's like I met Rade before everything happened. And so it's been really wonderful to be understood in that way as well. That's incredible. Yeah, there's like a sense of challenge as well. Yeah. Like as you're becoming this amazing, influential person and there's so much coming at you

to have a support. And obviously she also has an amazing career. Yeah. But it's also to see both like do your thing and be supportive and like, you know, the days you can, you know, of the week that you don't get to see your partner. It's just tough.

And so I now in my life, I just work really hard so I can be home more. Yeah. And that's been something I've learned, you know, that I enjoy time off because I used to just be like, I have a week off. Oh, I'm, what city am I going to? And now I'm like, I actually understand why it's nice

to just chill. Right, you've got a door of a children too, to add to it. Thank you so much, yeah, I would say. Just incredibly grateful to be a dad. Yeah. That's an amazing feeling. Yeah, what do you think you've learned by first,

we'll start with being in a relationship like, what do you think you learned about yourself or something that you grew by being with Sophie that you didn't have before, like a skill and ability of mindset and approach to life what what came through that relationship with Sophie that it's not some like cute relationship that you just you have i had my fun i've dated before funny but what it's so different with self is that that blew me away is just like What it's just so different with self is that that blew me away. It's just like the forgiveness,

the partner, the friend that I have, like where each other's best friends, and we grow together. I mean, so many different, amazing experiences that we've had, and just five some years, it's just trippy to us. We're like, oh, we really have lived a life and it's just been amazing to like, at times save each other. You know, we've gone through so many heavy things together as a couple and individuals. And to know you have that support and no matter what, it's just amazing. Yeah, I love hearing them, man. It's beautiful. And yeah, I agree with this. So many things. Now you can go on and on about that. Yeah, I feel the same way. Like when I met Robbie, it's like I don't think I have a new what a genuine, like, understanding relationship look like. Like, I feel understood. Yeah, I remember there was a big moment in our relationship where we had a rocky phase.

And I called it off and she was understanding and that blew my mind that somebody could be and I... You break up with someone and they understand. And I panicked and got back with it like right away. But it was the best decision. That's amazing. Obviously the best decision ever.

I was not the breakup part. That was a dumbest decision. But I realized the fact decision ever. Obviously the best decision ever. I was not the breakup part. That was a dumbest decision. But I realized the fact that she would be supportive, I realized that this person is, loves me so much that they were willing to put aside their stuff for me. I'm like, what the, like how could I ever lose that? Yeah.

And. That's special. Yeah, it's really special. That's beautiful. I ever lose that? Yeah. And, that's special. Yeah, it's really special. That's beautiful. What about with the kids? Like becoming a dad. That's another, these are all major life transitions, right? Like, going from being with the brothers to then doing your solo thing,

then coming to therapy, figuring that out, then, you know, these are all major life transitions. And I think, I'm not a dad yet. So I'm always intrigued to get dad tips. And I mean, Willard joined many, many meditations. Many Zenzans, which is very sweet. But like, yeah, what would you say have been the greatest lessons for you?

Or like the biggest, yeah, the biggest, the simplest, greatest, I mean, there's so many. I got amazing advice before I became a father. Just before becoming a parent, I reached out to like my favorite people, that are parents. And the ones that I really respect, how they raise their kids, had a lot of questions for them, but the biggest question was like, if you can give me one big piece of advice. And almost all of them, and this is sounds just kind of cliche, but they're just like literally enjoy every moment because it moves by so fast.

And I think about my own father, and I'm thinking, I'm like, he blinks, and his sons are in his thirties. He's like most of his sons. And it's just like, and I'm a big kid at heart. And I, I was, like I encourage other parents, just be a big kid. Another person mentioned, you know, they watched their son, they watched somebody walk by with their child

over a puddle and that parent was like, no, no, we don't jump in puddles. And he was like, I never want to be that parent. I want to be the parent that explores that because there's plenty of clothes at home you can change into. And like that imagination is so important for young kids. And I had that growing up. And I want to be like that.

Now I understand if you're on your way somewhere fancy, whatever, I get there. There's obviously tons maybe jumping in the puddles, not the always the best, but like The message there is imagination is so key and the if I was ever held back from like Being wacky and silly and putting a show on for my family or friends in my basement I Wouldn't be where I am today if I if I didn't love the music if I didn, if I wasn't allowed to listen to the music that I listened to,

and there's a lot of things, and I get it. That's a big question, I mean, it's a big comment. I know. There are certain music, I didn't get to listen to it growing up, but I will say like, it molded me to who I am today, and I think the imagination thing is so key. How's that New Year's resolution coming along? You know, the one you made about paying off

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or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hot some minds on the planet. Oh, pro. Everything that has happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it. Kobe Bryant. The results don't really matter.

It's the figuring out that matters. Kevin Haw. It's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to create change. Lumin's Hamilton. That's for me being taken that moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself, because I think for a long time, I wasn't kind to myself.

And many, many more. If you're attached to knowing, you don't have a capacity to learn. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. Yeah, no, I think that's a beautiful point. And it's interesting how that's really coming out in child psychology now. Like everything you're saying, I think is true because we're seeing through the

research that when kids are too limited or restricted or put into this, like rule system of like, this is right and this is wrong and this is okay. And this isn't like as a child It definitely limits your understanding. I mean, I mean, I've been actually interviewing a ton of people who are like Child trauma experts or people have like deeply studied that area and it aligns with what you're saying and so It's beautiful to hear that and it's nice to hear that you had it and you continue to pass it on Oh, yeah, and I think one of the most amazing things I've done, and I haven't framed at home,

this was one of my first experiences in therapy. And the therapist asked me to write a letter to, like essentially they asked me to think about what I see when I'm like, when you say, okay, and I'm no therapist, so excuse me for presenting this in a, and you probably know this method, but I want you to write a letter to yourself as a kid knowing to think of that age.

So for me, it was between ages seven and 10. I mean, like, all right, now, I want you to look at, there was an empty chair, like I want you to look at the empty chair and really visualize yourself, like visualize yourself. Like what are you wearing, how's your hair look? What are you playing with? Are you like sitting there?

Are you nervous? Are you distracted? I'm like, I can see myself essentially. And then I wrote a letter to myself and like to my younger self, like, yeah, you know, like, maybe don't date this person, like whatever, just like funny little things, tell you my personal things.

Like, it's okay to like be weirdo. Like, if you get picked up for that, that's cool. One day, these guys are gonna come to your concert. Like whatever, like, just funny things. And then I wrote a letter to myself as an adult, but as a eight year old self. And I couldn't get through the, I mean, I'm bawling, crying, trying to write this letter.

And I wrote it with my, the hand I'm not strong, I'm not very strong with. So I wrote my left hand. So it's really squiggly, like squiggly. And, oh, I have the letter framed in my house. And it was just such a great reminder to be a kid at heart and to like not to be too hard on ourselves. Because we're all big kids at the end of the day,

trying to figure this crazy thing called life out. Yeah, totally. I love that exercise. I think it's such an important one and it's like, everyone should definitely do that. It's amazing. I mean, I found it to be an emotional thing. Some people find it to be a fun and game, but whatever it is, I loved it and I passed it on.

Yeah, no, I think it's so powerful. What are other things that we've talked about meditation, of course, and I'd love to so, I think it's so powerful. What are other things that like we've talked about meditation, of course, and I'd love to know more of you practice now as well, but what are some other habits that you've picked up along the way? It sounds like you're a collector of like news. Definitely, yeah. You know, like, yeah, I like to think I'm a collector.

The gratitude list you talked about, this letter to kids, we talked about meditation. Like, what are some of the others? All collections from other people. That's good. But I think the most recent are the some of the others? All collections from other people. That's good. I think the most recent are the director of the motion, JD, right above his monitors. He had, what do you want them to feel? And I just fell in love with that little quote. And I wrote it on a mirror in the dressing room that we traveled with.

So it wasn't just writing on some backs. Like, left it for everyone. Some random bathroom there. And that really helps me before I go on to stage. Like, what do I want them to feel? Especially after like a long day. Let's say your voice is tired, you're mentally drained. Or you're like, all right, we're playing the same show.

Like, you gotta find, like, what about it. And then that always reminds me. I'm like, there's somebody out there that's their favorite song, or look for that person, or if I'm tired, like, these people spend all their day getting ready for today, like, I want them to, like, if I went to a concert, and I, it takes me a lot to go see a show, because I'm like, all right, this has got to be somebody I really want to see. Yeah. You want to see what you think is like, you want to leave going, that was amazing.

Like, how do I bring that for them? And same like, what do you want into the field? And it's really powerful. So I've taken that along the way. My morning routine is, I think, pretty locked in now. My streaks are pretty good on my meditation app. So I pretty much wake up and first thing I do is meditate.

Sometimes it's like a moving meditation where I'm like, can we brush in my teeth or doing something? But I'm like in silence and I'm just kind of walking through the steps. And then I write a gratitude list. And it's anywhere from, I'm grateful for the beautiful morning. I'm grateful for a couple of coffee.

This won't keep me going or to like it larger than I'm grateful for my health. Like the fact that I get to be able to walk on two feet and do this and obviously the list goes on. And then I'm working on my Italian. So really? Don't quiz me, but I'm slowly, slowly working on that. What's the why Italian specifically? The movie role?

I don't know. We went to Italy on our honeymoon, and I just did not like that I had to be. My hands were held by our translator, the whole trip. Someone this romantic trip, and then I'm like, do you mind asking if they have any more? And I just was like embarrassed, but also like I took that and was like I want to go back here on our own and like not have to have anybody helping us out. It was like that brought me and then just it'll be amazing. Yeah, it is. I love to learn more. I love that. I love what you were saying

earlier because I think that mindset for anyone who's performing, anyone who's done this for a long time, like, you know, I think a lot of people, most people who don't know me, well, don't know that I started speaking on stages and at events when I was 18 years old. And so I'd done what I'd done for 10 years before anyone cared or knew what it was. When I hear what you're saying, it's like when you've done it for that long, I became more grateful when people actually cared because I was like, I've been doing this for 10 years, I'm like five people showed up. When you start doing it and more people care and more

people are interested, you become more grateful, but there was something beautiful. There was an interview with Vanessa Bryan, Kobe's Bryan's wife, Aftery, passed away. And she was telling a story. Actually, I think she was giving a speech and she told this conversation that she had with Kobe. And she said that, you know, people always asked Kobe why he played when he was injured, or a lot of people didn't know that he played when he was injured or a lot of people didn't know that he played when he was injured. But every time I'd ask him why he played when he was injured, he'd said that I'd played because that person has saved up to come and watch one game and

they want me to play in that game. They came to watch me. And if I don't play, then they won't have got to see me and they may not be able to afford to go to another game ever again, and so I'm gonna play even if I'm injured. And every time I think about that, and it's exactly what I heard in the essence of what you were saying, that it's like, people have come here to see us, it's like, what do you want them to feel?

Like, when you live in that way, it's like every show becomes, it's your first time, right? It feels that way because it's that person's first time, even if it's not yours. And I think that mindset is so beautiful and so special. And you see across all these amazing people who perform for a living, who are doing this week and week out. And the fact that you share that,

it speaks volumes for anyone out there who's wanting a career in this light, whatever it may be, any career that's on stage. You've got to have that in your heart, because otherwise it gets really boring, really unfulfilling, and really dry, really quickly. So anyway, you reminded me of that. That's a beautiful story. Yeah, and I had to share it. What a legend he had found strength even when he's injured.

It's amazing. Yeah, it's amazing. But I like that I've already wanna make people feel like I think that that's such a great way to live. Like you just given a mantra for life. Like even if you're not a performer. I know, I feel like it's just in general being more present with somebody.

I mean, you know, there's times feel like you can't really even bring a lot to the table, literally dinner table, somebody calls you, he said, hey, you want to get dinner tonight and you've been running, running, running, you're like, I don't think I can give you 100% of myself mentally or physically even, like just to be in your presence, like I just, it's okay to give you the rain checks and pass on the rain checks. Sometimes you're just like, I want you to be able to have my full attention. And I try to put that into play more often. How have you managed to keep so many good relationships? Like during this busy career, a hectic career,

like it's most people end up becoming lonely and successful. Right? And when we did Zen Zone, I got to meet all these wonderful human beings. And it wasn't just people in the industry. Like it wasn't like, I just sent a note out and whoever comes, it was like, these are people that know you and you know, and like when we were talking, like, you know, there'd be banter back and forth. And you could tell that there was a real relationship. Of course, there's banmates there. There's people. But it's like, how have you managed to treat by that idea? Because I think it's less common.

And I think it's fascinating that it's not just the amount. First of all, you have a quantity of relationships as well, but they're also quality as well. Like, what did you do to do that? I've had the same kind of friend crew for a long time. I think the older you get, your friend gets tighter. Some of which, like you said, I'm lucky that I get to work with some of my friends. I mean, that's sometimes a dangerous game. But I think we've worked long enough where we've like, we're still friends, even if we've gone and done different career paths and come back together. But I think it's been and come back together, but I think it's been essential to just to get, I think I always need FaceTime and I don't mean by FaceTime on the phone, I'm like literally FaceTime with that person or people and I think it's really important for the relationship and just checking in,

you know. I think it's so interesting how somebody gave me this advice years ago. When we see our friends like going through something, we know they're going through, they've lost in the family or a situation that's pretty heavy. And we usually, you think like, I don't want to bother them right now. And a lot of people are thinking that more than, you would think, and how easy it is to pick up the phone or just shoot a text. I've been trying to implement that a little bit more.

I'm still not great at it, but I definitely know that, like, it's something that I have felt on the other side, and I'm going through something kind of heavy, and like, people might go, like, I just want to give them space Maybe they need them maybe I shouldn't pretend like I know what's it's like it's somewhat nice to To be reached out to or to reach out. That's beautiful man, and I know you do that. I think that's the thing When I'm sitting in this interview and the whole time I'm thinking like this guy if he does everything he's saying he does and it's I

Genuinely respect it. It's it's so hard to To really walk your talk. it's so hard to really walk your talk. It's so hard to like really emphasize, you know, I remember even, you know, just when we were traveling together last year for that couple of the shows, and it was just, you know, you were going through so many family things as well in between. And so you were constantly there and available and trying to make sure, you know, trying to figure it out. And like, that was what you guys were talking about. Like, you know, so you could tell just how much love

and how much connection there was there with family. And when you look at family, family is obviously such a central pillar to your life. Like in every sense of the word, the brothers, your parents, your wife, your kids, you know, like the family, the crew family, the team family, like if you had to give not advice but your reflection on like what keeps family to get together despite so many differences, despite doing business together, just like what have you come up with because there has to be

something that keeps someone after all this time inspired to keep family together and it's not just business, right? It's more than that. I think we learned a while back that if it's just business 24-7, what it was, it would implode what you did. We broke up as a band and we wanted pretty much nothing to do with each other for a while. And when we decided to get broke up as a band and we wanted pretty much nothing to do with each other for a while. And when we decided to get back together as a band, there was a lot of like, all right,

we have a lot to work through and we did. But once we stepped back into this crazy world of what we do, we made sure that we tried to take some time just for us as brothers, as a family, like go on trips together. That's men, that's not talk about work. And it's weird, because work is also like what we love. So music does come up, but there are moments where we're like, let's just go ski together. Let's go play golf. I mean, golf is kind of our, it's the one thing

I guess we all can relate on. I mean, we just went play golf for an expert. I mean, this guy can play like 36 holes in one day. And then he's like, all right, cool. We're going to do that 7 a.m. tomorrow. I'm like, buddy, I need a break. So we have hobbies outside of work that I think that's essential for us.

And even like, my parents and stuff, like just hanging out, you know, let's challenge each other without talking about business because we're still like in a business with our dad at times, we're in and out always. Like it always, we can't help ourselves because we all love music, we all love what we do. We love supporting each other, but it is nice to say, you know what, let's just not talk about.

Let's just do something as a family or as friends, as brothers, and keep that relationship healthy as much as we can. Yeah, Joe, you've been so generous with your time. I want everyone who's listening and watching to know that it's currently Friday night and it's 8.24 p.m. Joe's at a busy day. That's far in town.

That's Jay Shetty. Tomorrow you're performing at Global Citizen. Yeah, it's really exciting. Global Citizen at Central Park. I've never played the show. I mean, quite the flex. I mean, what a great cause. And I'm getting text like, you're playing

Central Park tomorrow, I'm like, maybe. But I'm really excited to show the stage with some of these legendary acts. I can always say that I played a show with Metallica. Yeah, never thought I'd be saying that. Yeah, it's awesome, but no, I'm so grateful for your time. Is there anything that I haven't asked you that you really wanted to share or something

that was on your heart on mind and you're like, I really want to talk about this, but I didn't feel like you did it. We kind of tapped into it a little bit on like the daily practices, but one thing I've recently done, I kind of stole from Greg over there, which has been helpful actually. I recently deleted social media off my phone. Oh, wow.

I didn't know that. And I'll still like download Instagram occasionally just to check in on messages because it's like literally a new email at this point. But it's been nice because I just needed the break and it's been really helpful to be present with my friends and family. And I know there's other ways of doing it. I'm not saying it's bad for you.

I mean, there's other ways of setting the alarms and timers. But for me, not even having on my phone, I'll tell you what, I'm just so much more aware. And goes the full circle, like being present with my friends, I'm just way more in it, which has been really nice. I love that, man, and that's hard.

When you know anything, I miss it's like a couple of funny memes, my friends will send me. Other than that, I feel like I'm pretty aware, which is nice. Yeah, yeah, and I've been loving all this spontaneous TikToks. Oh, yeah, the thing has been a lot of fun. Yeah.

I can't, yeah, I'll get back on there eventually. I love that I can showcase that my wacky personality. Like I got more people coming up to me on the street these days saying, like your TikTok than your music. And I'm like, all right. I was doing an interview the other day and I'm sat outside having coffee. And this young lady came up and she's like, excuse me, and I was like,

this is perfect timing, I'm about to do an interview. And she's like, I love your TikTok. I was like, not unexpected, but I appreciate it. I appreciate it. And then the guy's like, I guess the shit I asked about your TikTok. That's awesome. I love that man.

No, and I'm glad you shared that. I think it's so important to take these breaks to disconnect, to be present. But we end every interview with the final five, and these are fast five. So one word to one sentence, maximum. So you're going to be on your toes, which you're very good at.

So here are your final five, Joe Jonas. The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever received? There's a lot. I mean, I think this has been essential for growing up. My dad always said, live like you're at the bottom, bottom even if you're at the top. Not saying I'm at the top and I never was,

but I think I've gotten the place where I could be feeling myself and that's been that broad day. A great piece of that. A humble beginning conversation. That's a great piece of advice. All right, we'll never head down the show. I love it.

Question number two, what's the worst advice you've ever heard? This isn't going to hurt. And then I got my first tattoo. That's true. Yeah, that was bad advice. I like that. Alright, question number three, what something you used to value that you don't value anymore? And maybe it's just for the time being, but social media. I mean, I, I've taken this break, I realized it's really needed for my life. Yeah, yeah. Taking a little time off and just nice to be aware and present. And so I thought that was like, yeah, 40 minutes of my day,

in the day just scrolling myself to bed. I mean, like, now I'm dreaming about goats laughing on a mountain. Why? Great dream. But you know, it's like, I can just go to bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it's like, I can just go to bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's quite nice.

No, it's huge. That's a huge one. Or wake up and not feel like anxiety from seeing some craziness. It's just nice to be like present and aware. Or be like, jealous, you're not somewhere in the world with these people that you sometimes see. You're like, okay, I'm with myself or my friend.

Yeah. People that I love, it's quite nice. That's a beautiful answer, beautiful description. All right, question number four is, how would you define your current purpose? I think to just be open to learning and growing. I think I realize that what I do is really incredible because I can make people feel a certain way

and conduct a crowd in a sense and I'm one of many but few that get that opportunity and I know how A great of an opportunity that is and so yeah, I think my purpose is to make people feel yeah, hopefully good Definitely more emotional at times for the song. Yeah, hopefully good. Definitely. More emotional at times for the song. Yeah, definitely good, definitely good. Fifth and final question. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? Be nicer to everyone.

Be nicer to people. Yeah. We definitely need that. We do. We definitely need that. Joe, you're the man. Jay, thank you so much for doing this. No, thank you.

I'm so grateful you did this. I know we could go on for a day. I'm so grateful. You're so grateful. No, I'm so grateful you did this. I know we could go on for a day. I know we could go for hours. We have a lot. This is one of 10. This is the first time. This is just the first one.

You can't want any time you want. Yeah, I would love to. Yeah, yeah. You've got to come on any time you want. No, I'm so grateful you came on. I wanted to document this chapter of Aja and he together too. So that every time we can do it and look back and watch the little screening Go. Yeah, number one. Yeah. Why was I wearing that? Yeah

Maybe also that, I know you But I love that. Thank you, man. Thank you so much Everyone who's been listening and watching back at home. I hope you enjoyed this episode I think there were so many great insights Exercises tips from Joe. I want to make sure that you Joe's not on social media, but you can tag him anyway So that he knows when he comes to show me Somebody's showing But please tag Joe and I on tick-to-tack on Instagram on Twitter

Whatever you're using so that we can see what you learn what you took away what you're practicing I hope that you're gonna put some of these great insights and tips into practice for yourself And I hope you got to know Joe a little more deeply and a little more through my lens and through my eyes and the way that I've got to know him So thank you so much for listening and watching. I hope you share this with a ton of friends And a big thank you to Joe and a big thank you to each and every one of you The world of chocolate has been turned upside down. A very unusual situation. You saw this tax-appasion in our office. Chocolate comes from the cacao tree, and recently, Varieta's cacao, thought to have been

lost centuries ago, were rediscovered in the Amazon. There is no chocolate on earth like this. Now some chocolate makers are racing deep into the jungle to find the next game-changing chocolate, and I'm coming along. OK, that was a very large crack it up. Listen to obsessions while chocolate. On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The one you feed explores how to build a fulfilling life admits the challenges we face.

We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear through guidance on emotional resilience, transformational habits, and personal growth. I'm your host, Eric Zimmer, and I speak with experts ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers offering powerful lessons to apply daily. Create the life you want now. Listen to the one you feed on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Our 20s are often seen as this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, make mistakes and figure out our lives. But what can psychology teach us about this time? I'm Jermis Beg, the host of the psychology of your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety,

mental health, heartbreak, money, and much more to explore the science behind our experiences. The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Listen now on the iHeart Radio Amp Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. wherever you get your podcasts.