On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Kevin Hart ON: How to Conquer Your Fear of Failing & Processing the Obstacles of Forgiveness, Love, and Loss
Episode Date: January 9, 2023You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive sho...w where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.Today, I am talking to Kevin Hart. Kevin is an actor, comedian, author, investor, and CEO. Over the years he has become Hollywood’s box office powerhouse, opening ten films at number one at the box office with $4.23 billion revenue at the global box office. In 2020 Hart starred in “Die Hart,” the first production of its kind, created through his digital network, Laugh Out Loud, and Executive Produced through his production company, Hartbeat Productions. Kevin’s memoir, I Can’t Make This Up, debuted at number one on The New York Times Best Sellers List and remained on the Top 10 Nonfiction Hardcover Bestsellers List for ten weeks straight. Kevin’s digital network, the Laugh Out Loud Network, serves as a platform for emerging comedians and is home to two premium series which both feature Kevin – “What the Fit?” and “Cold as Balls.” We get to see Kevin’s serious side as he talks about self love and team effort. He places emphasis on the importance of focusing our energy on finding a solution rather than wasting time on the problem, how team effort is the foundation to all forms of success, why we should always consider both sides of the story, the beauty of cheering for others success and celebrating it with them, and how self love and self appreciation must start with you and not come from someone else. Truly, there is no shortcut to success. It is earned through hard work, clear purpose, surrounding yourself with the right people, and a multitude of self love. What We Discuss:00:00:00 Intro00:03:19 Looking in the mirror and being okay with yourself00:07:38 Having parents that opens opportunities for you00:13:06 Don’t focus on the problem, focus on the solution00:20:45 It’s hard to see the good if you’re only seeing the bad00:25:20 The simplest things came from an idea00:35:12 Team effort is the foundation of success00:43:19 Celebrate each other’s success00:58:24 Talk to yourself01:06:47 Looking at things with both lenses01:10:16 You gotta learn it01:15:12 Would you wish pain and suffering for anyone?01:20:50 Critical thinking01:25:27 There is no handbook to fame01:29:56 Kevin on Final FiveEpisode ResourcesMonsters and How to Tame ThemKevin Hart | WebsiteKevin Hart | InstagramKevin Hart | TwitterKevin Hart | FacebookKevin Hart | TikTokLOL! NetworkWant to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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And I'm so grateful for this community that we have here because I get to sit down with
some of the most incredible minds in the world, people that I find fascinating, not just
personally and professionally, but because of the potential and the purpose that they
have. Today's guest is someone who has been on my list to interview from day one.
So it's a very special moment for me.
I'm very excited.
I'm speaking about someone, the one and only Kevin Hart, Hollywood's box office powerhouse,
opening 11 films at number one at the box office and grossing more than $4.2 billion in global revenue.
Kevonnie has also become a successful entrepreneur.
He's a chairman of Hartby, a global multimedia platform company, creating entertainment
at the intersection of comedy and culture with a mission to keep the world laughing together.
I love that.
Kevon is also the founder of Hartby Ventures.
Kevonnie is a New York
Times best selling author twice over and his first audible original, the decision was nominated
for an audio ward for best original audiobook. And I spent my last five hikes listening to
his new audiobook, Monsters, and how to tame them. And I have to tell you, and I'm going to tell Kevin right now because he's sitting in front of me. Dude, I have not been that into something
for a long, long time. And I'll tell you why I have not stopped talking about the different
monsters, the different personalities to my wife, to my team, to my colleagues. You've
made it so relevant and accessible to talk about your
flaws in a way that I've never seen before. So thank you so much for being here, man.
Thank you. So grateful to be sitting with you. Thank you. And you know, you know, when flowers
are thrown out, I believe that they should, they should sometimes be returned. In this case,
man, I'm here for a reason. I worked at you've done the success that you've had, is ground
breaking. So major congrats to you.
I just wanna say there's an equal level
of appreciation and excitement for the moment, man.
You've done some groundbreaking podcast,
your guest to how you've gotten people
to open up the conversations that you've had.
More importantly, the lives that you're saving
by just being transparent, authentic,
and true to who you are.
I think it's dope as hell.
So it's an honor to sit across from you.
I'm excited about the conversation.
And it's one that's been on my list as well.
So I'm glad that we finally got it worked out
to where we can make this happen.
Yeah, thank you, man.
That's very kind and it's really beautiful hearing that
from you, honestly.
So let's dive in before we keep going back and forth
for roses.
Let's go.
Let's get it.
You know, one of the things I want to start off,
and this is going to take us anywhere and everywhere,
is how does it feel when you're winning,
and then you discover you got monsters?
Because that's kind of the journey you've been on,
and I want to go back and forth in this journey,
but I want to start there like,
what does it feel like when you're winning,
you're succeeding, but then you all of a sudden go,
I've still got monsters in me.
You know, when you say and use the word monsters
just for Clare to so people can understand,
of course we're talking about the different levels to you,
right, and within the levels that I've discovered
and myself of myself, you know,
you got your good versions and your bad versions. And the bad versions I refer to as monsters,
but just because they're bad doesn't mean they don't have good quality. And when you're
winning and you're succeeding, there's this idea that everything is right. There's this
idea that perfection is now presented itself and life moving forward
is going to be just an easy road. And it's not until you're in that position where you
expect perfection and you think that that you start to see the true problems and flaws
really present themselves. And you know, my monsters have been massed in disguise in various
different ways, but I've been able to pinpoint them
throughout the years
because some of those monsters grew, got stronger, developed.
You're talking about the world of an ego,
the idea of who you think you are versus what you are,
or the idea of expectations and needs as to what you feel you need and
what you have to have.
That's a monster that's feeding that, right?
That engine of, well, now that I'm making money, this is what I should have.
This is how I should look.
This is how I'm supposed to be.
That's a monster that you're feeding because ultimately you're buying in to something
that you're creating. You're enhancing this world of thought. And it's not until
you sit down and you take a breather and you start to really kind of you start to really
figure out the true definition of happiness for you. You start to really understand the adult that you have grown into.
And the level of maturity that has now,
I guess you can say, have been banked inside
the human that you are,
it's your banking so much over the years.
And ultimately, you're shaping your molding yourself
into this grounded, hopefully,
this grounded individual that you're proud to
look at in the mirror at the end of the day.
I had to start to, I had to get to a place to where I was looking in the mirror and I was
proud of what I was looking at.
And I was okay with checking myself.
I was okay with pointing out my flaws.
I was okay with knowing what I do well and what I do wrong.
And at the end of the day, there's no consequence to always improving. There's no consequence to growing.
You're in a time now where people almost frown upon the world of growth. I embraced it.
I embraced the world of correction. So the monsters and the world of how to tame them came from me
understanding the different levels of monsters that have presented themselves to me over the years
and me getting them to a point where I put them in a place where I can control them.
They're still there. They can rear their heads, but I can say sit out. That's not necessary.
That's not needed. And I can tell when one is trying to take me back
to a place of old, but at the age 43,
it's exciting to know that I've grown from so much.
And, you know, the world of one is significantly different
than what it once was.
It's really interesting you use the analogy
of like looking in the mirror and being okay with yourself.
And when you said that, I was thinking,
yeah, when you look in the mirror, there's no trophies.
The reflection doesn't show the trophies,
the wins, the money, whatever else.
It just shows you you.
And the fact that you've had the courage to look at that,
where do you think when you track back,
I've always been fascinated by memories
that we hold from our childhood that have left an imprint
that's really strong in our lives,
whether it be positive, challenging, whatever it may be.
What's a difficult memory from childhood?
Do you think that has been the catalyst
for so many things in your life?
Is there anything that you go back to?
You're like, I can see how that,
and I had to turn that into a positive.
I think the biggest memory for me
is the one of being complacent.
You know, as a child, I wasn't really a kid
that embraced the world of challenge.
I was very complacent.
I was okay with being a subpar to low average student.
I was okay with not trying.
I was okay with not giving my all.
And I was kind of okay with getting over, right?
So the biggest memory that I have in my childhood
is like when I got to that early teen years,
that 12, that 13, that 14, being sneaky
and thinking that you're constantly one-uping someone
was the, that's what I was embracing at the highest level do your homework
I did it did you really do your homework? I did it and you taking my word for it and not checking my homework
Oh, I didn't do it, but you think I did I got over
Ultimately you're you're slowly cheating yourself over the course of years and it's not until you get a
Rearly checked as to why that work was necessary as you realize you're just not doing what you're supposed
to do with your life, right? You're not giving your all. I had a lot of different
examples of that. I truly had a mom that made sure that I had and I didn't take
advantage or embrace the real work that she put in until
I got to an older age of true understanding.
But to be honest, I really threw a lot of those things to the side, the extra curricular
activities, the swim teams, the football teams, the basketball teams, the track and field,
the baseball.
All of these things as a kid, you don't understand your parents are doing
to try to provide you with a world of opportunity.
They're trying to keep you occupied.
They're trying to embrace this idea of hard work,
effort, activity, engage.
They're doing all of these things to their kids
or hopefully for their kids to put their kids in a position to just want,
want the best, compete, study, learn,
be excited about their future.
That light bulb went off late.
Thankfully, when it went off, it went off at the right time.
And I was able to identify a lot of stuff that I couldn't
then.
And also, thankfully, that a lot of the lessons
that my mom constantly embedded in me about,
you don't start things that you're not gonna finish,
you don't quit, apply your all, do this or don't do it.
You're not cheating anybody, but you're selling all of these things
that I heard over the course of time.
There was a moment when I got older,
it all hit at the same time.
But the real memory for me now looking back is
I'm glad that I do see that that I am aware of that
Because not being aware of that is a huge is lost
Thinking that I took full advantage thinking that I've really applied or tried myself thinking that
That was a hundred percent would be the real loss.
So one of my best memories is knowing that,
at one point, I was a slagger.
You know, I was the guy that wanted to look like he was doing,
but never truly was, unless it was something that I loved
and embraced.
And, you know, that was basketball, but the chances
of me making it that were very slow.
But, you know, that's to answer your question.
It's a ballpark of those memories
that I now look back on that I appreciate,
but it also act as the fuel for the hard work
and the 100% that you see that I put in everything.
I do that.
Yeah, that's such a great reframe
around what you saw as a bigger loss.
I think that's so powerful for you to sit here and say,
actually I'm really happy that I can see
that I wasn't putting my best foot forward
because that helps me be grateful to my mom.
It helps me understand it from a different perspective.
And the one thing that came to mind for me
when I'm listening to you say that is,
there's this quote that says,
the day you realize your parents were right,
your kids are telling you that you're wrong.
Wow.
And that's always been one of those statements
that I think about that in my own self.
I thought my parents were wrong my entire teenage life
and I think most teenagers do.
And then all of a sudden I hit my mid 20s
and I'm like, wait a minute, my mom's been through a lot.
You know, my parents put in a lot of sacrifice.
And so I love that you brought that up.
I mean, one of the reasons we pushed this show back
was you lost your father recently.
And when I heard the news obviously,
you know, my love and condolences to your family.
And I was looking at what you were sharing
and commenting about.
And there was this one thing that you said
that really stuck with me.
And you said that that really stuck with me And you said that
My kids actually think I'm the coolest dad on the planet. I know why I am the way I am
My dad has a lot to do with that the mistakes that my dad made
You know the decisions to do drugs being in and out of jail in and out of your lives
I saw first hand what not being present did because of that. I now know what being present means.
I know what I can do.
I know what effect it can have when your child coming up.
But it sounded like obviously when you lost your father
recently, it sounds like you'd reconcile.
Like you'd built somewhat of a connection.
You know me and my dad, we weren't the closest,
but we weren't not close.
My dad, at the end of the day, I'm gonna love my dad
but simply being my dad.
And my dad's life had several different versions
of drastic downs, right?
A small amount of ups, but a lot of downs.
I can easily sit here and ridicule a judge, my dad,
for the mistakes that he made, or for his past,
but that does nothing.
I don't like to focus on pride,
or my focus on solution.
So with me and my dad in our relationship,
it was always one of solution.
Like you can't go back and fix the years
that you weren't present.
There's nothing that we can do about that time.
We can have a conversation about it.
We can talk about it.
And then me and my dad talking, my biggest thing was,
you don't have to focus on what you can't change.
The fact that you're here now and that you made a decision
to get clean, to turn your life around.
It's never too late.
My dad was 50 plus at the time when he said,
I'm gonna go ahead and figure it out.
And I'm gonna close that door
and I'm gonna work on this other door.
This door over here was like I said,
jail, drugs,
in and out of his kids' life to the point where,
there was a time we didn't know where my dad was.
And I bumped into my dad on a train.
I tell a story.
I bumped into my dad on a public transportation
in Philadelphia, like not seeing him in years.
I randomly saw my dad.
And my dad was so embarrassed, he got on a train to rent.
But it's like, that's where that world
and that relationship was.
And what I do very well,
I don't hold on to grudges or gripes.
It takes too much time, it takes too much energy.
Things will work themselves out.
They never not have.
It'll always work itself out.
And then my dad worked it out, right?
Like, it's about the grandkids.
And our relationship got better as he embraced the opportunity
to be a great grandpa.
And seeing him try to do that right,
was his way of saying,
I wish I could have done this right for you.
I can. Like, I know what you're saying without saying it.
Sometimes, you don't need words.
Although some people do need them,
sometimes your actions are a little better.
And my dad's actions and trying his best
to be an unbelievable grandfather
made our father's son relationship that much better.
And you know, there was a lot of conflict
between my brother and my dad
and seeing that mend over the time. And you know, there was a lot of conflict between my brother and my dad and seeing
that mend over the time. And just saying, look, I'm not supposed to be here. Dad, look at what
your son has done. Look at where I am. Being that I can, I want to make sure that you get to see
some dope things in life. Here, let's do this and take that and live like this and do it. So things work
themselves out. His reward for giving his energy to something positive and life-changing
was his son becoming successful and his son saying, Dad, huh? It's not expected. That wasn't
the plan. You got a great piece of light at the end of that dark tunnel
that you didn't expect, that I didn't expect,
because I didn't expect to be here.
So everything kind of, it works itself out.
And losing my dad is when you look back,
and you go, yo, he was all right, right?
Like my reflection, my conversation,
my words when I speak on behalf of my father.
They're so positive and dope because he did good. I'm all right. I came out okay.
Mom, dad, you did good. Like, whatever you did to put, whatever recipe in this pot, the food came out all right.
I'm a good person, I got a good heart.
I treat people with respect.
Ultimately, I want the most that I can possibly get out of life.
I love to love.
I'm a good dude.
Am I perfect?
No.
I got some of them imperfections over there.
I got some of the ones from over here, from my man dead.
Okay, that's life.
Of course.
I'ma figure it out, but I figure it out
without the want or need for problem.
That's real, man.
I mean, listening to you say that what I appreciate
so much is about how you're changing our perspective again
that often we feel to heal what was broken needs to be fixed. And actually what you've just said is
seeing him try with the grandkids, that's not even the area that needed fixing or was broken,
but seeing that starts to create some healing. That's the best example that I can ask for.
Because it's not about us, right?
Like me and my ex-wife got to a point of realization, you know, after having a significant amount
of ups and downs, you know, after our divorce, we got to a point where you realize it's not
about us.
Like we, we did it. We had our opportunity and we're now adults.
How we choose to live as adults. Well, that's a choice that we make,
but we're trying to make the best choices so that they have a better life.
So it's about them.
When I see somebody making the efforts to make life for
them better, well, then we're on the same page. We have the same vision. We have the same vision.
Yeah, yeah. It's not it's not about us at this point. It's not about us as a generation at this
point. It's about us trying our best to do things to create change, to move ground, shift
the gear so that they have a much better opportunity than what we did. That's the world
of the baton being passed correctly. And if you understand that and you have that mindset,
you approach your day to day differently. And I do do I do have that mindset and it's one thing that I'm very thankful for and
through the things that should be problems or were supposed to be problems
I've never held on to them long enough and by the way
Just bringing it back for a circle. That's a monster
That grudge monster that's a monster. That grudge monster, that's a monster.
That I'ma get you back. I'ma wait, you just watch. I'ma hold on that and I'ma prove to you.
I'ma show you or I'm not talking to nobody over here. That's a monster. So you can fuel that
monster or that monster doesn't have to have an existence in me.
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It's really, really interesting hearing that perspective again because, you know, one
of my favorite lessons that I've learned is that often the thing that's holding you back
is something you're holding onto.
Yes.
It's one of my favorite lessons.
The idea that something that's holding you back is you're holding onto
it.
So whether it's a grudge, like you're saying the grudge monster or a feeling or an emotion
or an idea that you're not allowing it to let go when it no longer serves you and being
able to walk away from that requires real strength and courage.
But one of the things that you said about you and your partner, your ex-wife, that I think is really powerful is that
when it's just about us, whoever that may be,
you're either looking at each other
or you're looking past each other.
And what you just said is now we're looking
in the same direction when it's the kids.
And so that switch, if you think about any relationship
in our life, when we think it's just about us,
when it's not about anyone else,
you're always gonna be against each other.
But as soon as there's a higher purpose,
or there's a commitment,
or there's a value that supersedes that.
And understanding.
And understanding, yeah.
And understanding that comes with the world of communication
and great dialogue.
I can, you know, and having this conversation,
I can point to so many examples of how it's
so hard to see the good if you're only seeing the bad.
Like, there's so many people that struggle with their version of successes because they're
looking at someone else's.
There's so many people that struggle with their world of relationship because they're judging
theirs based off of someone else's right and
We are constantly in the space of
Not realizing or noticing your world your reality because you're living in what appears to be someone else's
Well, your shit is never gonna be right. Mm-hmm. It's never gonna be right, right?
Like if I'm if I'm looking at everybody's relationship with their father and I'm going, I want that.
Well, I'm not embracing the world of good
that came from my dad.
I could have went down the road and my dad did.
I could have easily been wrapped into the same world
of, you know, drugs, gangs, violence, stick up boys,
right, like the embracing the hood at the highest level
not that I don't because I do, that's where I'm a little bit of a talent, stick up boys, right? Like the embracing the hood at the highest level, not that I don't because I do, that's where I'm from.
But I could have embraced it at a much higher level
and followed in the footsteps of my father
because that's what he did.
But I was able to realize the mistakes he made.
I was able to go, I don't wanna go down that street
because I see the consequences of it.
That's the choice that I made, right?
Some don't make that choice.
By the way, no disrespect to those that haven't.
It's to each his own.
You do what you want based off of who you've seen
or what you want to be true to.
Live your life.
Ultimately, we get one.
Live it for you.
Live it to the best space in place that you feel
you can win at.
That's my motto.
I'm not here to tell you right for wrong.
I'm saying I identify things differently
and I make decisions based off of examples that I can look at
as not bad, but ones that if I didn't have,
I could have made that mistake.
So without a lesson that was intentional, I could have made that mistake. Yeah.
So without a lesson that was intentional, my dad's giving me lessons.
Yeah.
Right?
It's not intentional.
My dad never said, I went to jail so you didn't have to.
Yeah.
You never said that.
But hey, man.
See, you and jail, dad.
It's my wisdom, yeah.
Well, that just made me realize I don't want to go there.
Yeah.
Hearing how you talk about it, hearing how many times you went, well, I don't want to go there. Yeah. Hearing how you talk about it, hearing how many times you went, well, I don't want to go
there.
Seeing what drug did to you, are you talking and telling the stories, what you lost,
what you had, what you know, well, I don't want to do that.
Okay, you know, I'm going to embrace my father.
I'm going to embrace this imperfect human being because I'd be damned if he's not, if he's not positioning me
for personal success in just understanding what I shouldn't, shouldn't do.
And it seems so logical. It seems like common sense, but sometimes it's not that easy for the son.
It's not that easy.
Yeah, and sometimes what I'm hearing is sometimes the greatest wisdom is unsaid and unintentional.
Right?
Sometimes the greatest wisdom is not what someone said to you and sometimes the greatest
wisdom is knowing what not to do.
I think we think of it as like knowledge or learning means someone's telling me what
to do and they told me the right thing.
Sometimes it's looking and saying, well, I know what not to do now.
And what I'm fascinated though, and I think you're going to give people a lot of hope listening
to you today because when you say that you are complacent growing up, and I
consider you today to probably be one of the hardest working people in entertainment
from what I see and observe. And when I've watched your interviews or listened to you,
you work super hard, you give it your all, your invested from a mission purpose point of
view. But hey, wait a minute, this person says,
I was complacent growing up,
and it's never one moment, it's never one thing.
So I don't even wanna simplify it with that kind of a question.
What were the shifts that needed to take place
in order for you to go from being complacent
to being one of the hardest working people
who's committed to something?
I'm big on just like logic, right?
And there's this, there's this like moment that I had
where I just kept saying why not, like why, right?
And Russell Westbrook is a good friend of mine.
I tease him all the time because the one saying that he has
that I wish I would have had or I wish
I got to first is why not, right? And it's so genius. It's so genius. It's so simple, but yet so
profound. You don't just have to have one job and working any job and whether a job is a nine or
five or whether it's, you know, half a day, four day, whatever it is,
you don't just have to do one thing. You can do a lot of different things, but this is weird,
this is weird mindset that a lot of people have that you can only do one thing. And when I realized,
I don't have to just do one thing, I can do a lot of different things.
You can be good at a lot of different things, but you don't know that you're good at a lot of
different things unless you try a lot of different things. And when I looked around and I kind of
just realized how the world goes around, it's all based off of creativity. It's all based off of ideas. It's all based off of thought provoking, then groundbreaking
opportunities. But the simplest things have come from an idea, from your chair to your table,
to your wheel, to your light bulb, to your car, to your plane, to your helicopter,
to the idea of a hotel, from hotels
going to a place of people running out houses
and Airbnb's to taxis, to then people
driving their own cars.
These are all ideas.
And the groundbreaking thought that I had
and realizing all these ideas is that these ideas
have the potential to touch the sky
if a person believes that they can.
If a person believes that they can,
well, your world of idea changes.
Your reason for getting up,
your reason for putting your feet on the ground every morning,
it can change if you believe that the purpose that you now have and that you're working towards
based off of an idea.
It's something that you can succeed in.
I grasped that understanding and I attached it to everything that I tried to do.
I did not set out to be the actor, the director, the writer,
the producer, the CEO, the chairman, the advisor. I did not set out to do any of these things,
and I'm going to make it very clear, I don't have the educational background for any of these things.
What I had was an idea to try. And after you get an idea to try what I had was,
the patience to sit and listen, be a sponge, learn, figure it out. And figuring it out,
there was another side of not being okay with the incomplete version of figuring out the thing that I didn't do.
Mm-hmm.
Well, why did I go ask all these questions?
If I'm not gonna try it now, do I know how?
Yeah.
All right, let me, let me try it.
The only consequence is failure.
By the way, not trying is failing.
Yeah, well, so.
I'm gonna make that very clear.
Well, I said yeah.
Not trying is failing. Yeah, well, so. I wanna make that very clear. I wanna say that, yeah. Not trying is failing.
There's a lot of things that people can't do
simply because you've never tried to do it.
And I'm not saying that you should try everything.
I'm not saying that you're supposed to do everything.
I'm saying that for me, when someone says something,
and I go, now I never did that I
Have a reason for why I've never done it and
Adjustification if you ask me something and I go no and you just say why and I go mm-hmm
That's not good enough for me. Yeah, yeah, I'd have a reason why and that's that's the foundation and I stand on
That's how I built this mindset, this,
this level of energy to go ahead. Um, rhyming reason within my why. Why not? Yeah.
It's the Russ again. I love you, Dev, my brother. It's the one that got away from me.
I love you to death my brother. It's the one that got away from me and your genius for saying it because it's so
Simple. Yeah, so profile. Yeah, so everything that I'm doing or that I'm attempting to do is because I started so much and I'm just trying to finish it Yeah, and I
Like the fact that I'm 43 and I still got energy
Behind what it is that I'm trying to do.
Yeah, it sounds like it's like where you're going is not as important as who you're growing
into for that direction.
Oh my God.
Like the person that you're evolving into, the things you have to learn, the things you
have to be surrounded by.
And I think that's the part that I get excited about.
It's like, yeah, like you said, whether you get there, whatever there is or not,
and it's not just the journey and the destination
because I think that's the old cliche,
but what I'm really hearing from you is,
the person you grow into, the people you surround yourself
by in order to reach this big goal,
that is so fulfilling and that pursuit is
worthy, right? The pursuit is the happiness. It's everything. Yeah.
Jay, I've said this before and you'll hear so many people say it.
They come from where I've come from, the bottom or what's considered to be the bottom.
We are not stereotypically supposed to be in the rooms
that we're in.
When we say that, there's a level of comfort, right?
When I suppose being in these rooms,
and it's kind of cliche when you say it.
When you start to get in these rooms, you go,
wow, why are we not supposed to be in these rooms?
It's so amazing when you get to the other side,
you see the other side, And you look back and you
just look at what you've grown from. The conversations that I'm able to have, the knowledge that I'm
able to speak with, and the understanding, I understand not because I'm a trained machine,
and I spent all of this time prepping for, and you this is this is what the the idea of education was all based off of no.
The idea of discovery enhanced the muscle that made me want for so much more information and the space of life that I chose to love.
So entertainment and business.
So an entertainment and business, the level of failures that I have had that I'm still having in some regard, the world of fixing, cleaning up, making better, understanding,
growing relationships, building.
It's there, there is nothing more intriguing to me than being able to turn around and look
at Kevin at the age 22. And and look at Kevin at the age 22
and then looking at Kevin at the age 43. This was not the plan. What do you talk about?
Every day is a new day and every day I found another thing to be excited about.
Every day I found another goal that I decided to attach to my tree. And that tree got so many branches on it right now.
And so many people say you're doing so much,
or why do you do so much?
How do you do so much?
What's the end game?
What's the goal?
The game is being in the game, right?
Like it's being in the game.
The foundation that I'm trying my best to create, I hope and
pray to these four kids that I have, that they look at it, they see that
they understand, we just got to shout at something different. We got to
shout at generational wealth. We got to shot at changing the quote unquote
trajectory within our culture of opportunity.
We got a shot to make this normal.
Once again, I'm looking past me.
I'm looking at, I'm looking at the bigger piece of the plan.
My kids got a bigger shot at breaking ground and making this normal
because other kids that look like us
that came from where we come from
and that grew up, how I grew up,
well now I have a different level of association
for what can be achieved.
If it's based off of what I was able to do,
I'm igniting a different level of thought,
a different level of what,
a different level of motivation and inspiration.
I'm inspiring at a different level of thought, a different level of what, a different level of motivation and inspiration. I'm inspiring at a different level.
Absolutely.
Well, I get there and at the last second,
I miss it and I fall.
I got there.
Yeah.
I got there and all I does is show them
that they can get there.
They knock on this.
And they can go further.
They can go further.
They knock on this.
They're equipped with too much of the weapons.
I've equipped you along the way with so much.
So you're prepared for all this war that's coming up here.
You're not going to miss.
That might miss, that might fall.
You're not.
I love that.
And the kids coming up from under them.
They're not going to miss.
But you have to have this energy.
Yeah.
It's bigger than me.
What's that one mindset that you're trying to pass on
to that next generation, your kids,
the kids that come off to that,
because it sounds like while you were honest
and saying, look, I didn't know
I was gonna be a writer, director,
entrepreneur, CEO, I didn't have these,
I didn't have the education, as you said.
But it sounds like you have some,
you have the mindset, that's very clear, we know that.
But there's some core skills here
that it sounds like you've invested in very deeply
and that you're trying to pass on.
If you could narrow them down to one, two, or three for us,
what would you say are the skills that you're like,
this is how I want my kids to be able to operate
in this world, and that's what they need.
The best skill that I have developed
is the skill of noticing and understanding that
nothing is done by one individual. No level of success is reached by one person, right? Like there is a team effort that goes into the smallest moment of success to the largest.
And the person that wants the rewards and accolades for it all and that doesn't embrace the
world of team and the foundation that stands underneath whatever that thing is,
as a person that won't last long.
The thing that I am most thankful for
and the thing that I'm glad that it has just improved
over the course of time
is the world of inclusion with the Wii.
There's no I.
And I hope that that's what I'm passing down to my kids is
that you know nothing is given everything is earned and for things to be earned
correctly you know you you have to surround yourself with people that you can
not only earn with but that will support and embrace along the way, right?
I have an amazing team.
I'll do my team grows to be the stars of tomorrow
from execs to creatives, to talent,
to writers, producers, directors,
everybody that's underneath this umbrella of heartbeat,
of heartbeat ventures, of the brands and the brand partnerships and the space of entertainment
and this ecosystem with the media that we've created. We flourish because they flourish.
And knowing that, identifying that and trying my best to support that,
that's the thing that I have had to work on.
And we'll be talking about monsters.
Jay, there was a, there was a high monster.
Yeah.
There was a, I need to do it.
I'm gonna make the call.
Me first, as well.
I gotta, I'm a boat.
I'm, I know.
Everybody move.
Watch out.
I'm gonna show y'all how to do it.
I'm gonna take the meeting.
Hit, we're not listening to that. We're going to do it
my way. There was this heavy thing of me. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
got the way, Kevin. Get out the way and let other people be
great. They're only going to make this thing greater. Your
prohibiting that by trying to stand in a moment of great so that people can look and point at you
Let other people do the thing that they were brought here to do and while they do it
Align yourself with them embrace them support them and as they grow we grow
That's the thing that I flourishing the most which is why the first thing that I asked you
Yeah, yeah, think about it the first thing that I asked you when we're here with setting up
I said I don't give you guys been together. Yeah
That's just me asking because I want to see what the world of your team is and when you say what you say
Well, there's no coincidence that the level of success comes with a relationship that's evolved from
Day to said date. Yes
It comes with an understanding that comes with a level of community,
more importantly, a want for success,
but we have it together because we're embracing the world.
It's not just one.
I love that you went there, man.
Like, they could have been so many ways to answer that question.
And the fact that you brought it back to being bigger than you,
I mean, that mindset... I mean, that mindset is everything,
but it's so easily missed because we grow up in a doggy dog society,
we grow up in a U versus me.
I feel like when I speak to people in the entertainment industry as well,
for years, especially if you were a minority or a person of color,
you were put against the only other person of color.
Absolutely. And so it's like, there can be only one person of color, comedian.
There can only be one person of color actor, right? Like, it's all divided.
And so you talked about this.
I really talked about this. It was, it's, you know, Dave, Chris, myself, we're very close.
Yeah. And I love seeing that. That makes me happy.
The reason why we're so close is because, you know, there is no competition.
We're not competing with one another.
And, you know, we all have different level of success
that makes sense for us, right?
Like, one success has nothing to do with the other.
And the support, the love that we give each other, that we embrace each other with, it's all dealt with the other. And the support, the love that we give each other,
that we embrace each other with,
it's all double the understanding
that we can all exist the same time.
And the conversation of,
there can only be one,
is one that we've created as a culture.
Like, you know, we really do pit our own,
against our own, right?
We really have done it throughout the time.
And by the way, there's nothing wrong with competition.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be the best.
There's nothing wrong with that conversation.
But it's a conversation that can be had and should be had without the malicious intent
behind it, right?
Because ultimately success is success,
and that's what you're in a game for.
Yeah.
To have some type of level of success
that checks the box for you.
Yeah.
And once again, if you get to looking across the street
and you're looking at what the others are doing over there,
well, you're missing what you've done over here.
And I just, it's something that I think over the course of time has developed.
It didn't start off like this.
I definitely was once again, and being transparent, I was a young comic that was like,
man, when am I going to get my turn?
Yeah.
I'm funny.
I'm funnier than I need it.
I don't understand. Oh my God. Nobody'm funnier than I need it. I don't understand.
Oh my God.
Nobody want like you do go through that.
And rightfully so, there's frustration in not knowing
or not understanding why my opportunity hasn't
or isn't.
There's frustration in that.
But there's also a sense of calm that comes in confidence
of knowing that you're putting
the work in for a reason and that it will pay off.
Yeah.
And I had to make that change.
Yeah.
I had to make the change of saying, I'm doing the work.
Am I showing up every day and am I prepared?
And if this opportunity does come, am I ready for it?
Because it's nothing worse than it comes and I don't have a set.
I don't have a tight five minutes.
I don't have a tight 10. I didn't have a tight five minutes. I don't have a tight 10.
I didn't have a 25 minutes set.
Oh my God, they wanted to clean material.
I didn't have no clean material.
There's nothing worse than not being ready.
Oh my God.
So you know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna do the work and make sure I'm ready.
Let me go take these acting classes
before I even got an acting role.
I'm sitting in a damn acting class. I'm spending a little bit of money I got doing one-on-one sessions. That wasn't comfortable
being in the class. I had to get the space of comfort. I don't have any roles. I didn't
have any audition yet. I'm doing a work so that when I get there, I don't have to go backwards
and do it.
I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of
the most incredible
hearts and minds on the planet.
Oh, pro.
Everything that has happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it.
Kobe Bryant.
The results don't really matter.
It's the figuring out that matters.
Kevin Haw.
It's not about us as a generation at this point.
It's about us trying our best to create change.
Luminous Hamilton.
That's for me been taking that moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself, because
I think for a long time I wasn't kind to myself.
And many, many more.
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Yeah, I love that mindset. I think that is so underrated of, are you even ready if the opportunity
came knocking? Are you even ready? And two things that I took away from that the first was
something you said about you, Chris and Dave, which, and I love hearing about that friendship.
It's so beautiful to hear about that. I read something from Bob Iger,
where he was talking about how at one point, Spielberg, George Lucas, and I think it
was Tarantino, they would show each other their movies before it went anywhere. So
they'd sit in this tiny little theater or whatever, they'd show each other their
movies, give each other feedback, and then they'd all launch this tiny little theater or whatever they'd show each other their movies, give each other feedback
and then they'd all launch their movies and of course all of those people are you know, I mean icons and
it's unbelievable because you think
they were so confident in who they were and what their style was. I mean a Spielberg movie doesn't look like a Lucas movie and a Lucas movie
doesn't look like a Tarantino movie. They were so confident in who they were and what they brought to the table that they could
even show their best work.
I trust your level of understanding opinion and story and the highest regard that even
though we don't share the same love for John material, whatever you want to call it, right?
Like whether it's sci-fi, it's a drama, to action. Like these are all, like you said,
different people. But you know story, you know, character. I trusted you'll be able
to watch my project. Tell me if my characters are easy to track and if you care,
and if you don't care, I also trusted you'll be able to tell me why you felt you didn't.
I also feel that in a space of solution,
you're not gonna throw things at me that are not doable.
You're gonna know the context of what I have
that I'm working with, what's left on the cut of room floor,
what I can possibly do to do reshoots.
Everything that you're gonna tell me
is within regards of having my best interests.
That's confidence, that's also a strong relationship
and a friendship that along the journey of success
as we've all gotten to the top of this mountain,
we understand that your stance on your mountain
has nothing to do with minds.
Dave Shippell has made me and Chris Rock feel stupid at times
when it comes to our choice of material. We have watched Dave in our
earlier stages of just working on our set and we would spend time at the seller and when
we come and we would all go and Dave would go up and me and Chris had just went up and
we happy about our material. We're giving each other notes. We watch Dave. There's been times
we have looked at each other and we balled out papers up and said we got to start over.
There's been times we had looked at each other and we balled out papers up and said we got to start over
We got to start over. Yeah, not because of of
Jealousy or envy no because we challenge each other and we we we spark and amp the world of like we want the best
But not only each other before ourselves. Yeah, and and you inspire me and you encourage me and I
Love the reporter we have because we do exactly the same thing. Yeah, I think my hour is ready I want you to come see me Kristen. What you think? Yeah, can I like you?
But I still think you can can't come see me. I'm doing an hour and 40 right now hour and 40
Yeah, tell me what you think I'm probably gonna trim 20 out of it. I like where it is. All right. I'm coming
Dave was up come no higher
You gonna like when I'm working on like where it is. All right, I'm coming. Dave, what's up? Come to Ohio. You gon' like when I'm working on it.
I want your eyes.
All right.
That's a strong relationship
and it's one that I embrace.
And I celebrate it often, man.
I celebrate it often.
I think it's very important for people to see
other entertainers at this level.
Just simply celebrate each other's success.
I love it, whether it's rappers, singers, actors,
actresses, comedians, writers, directors, whoever.
I love to see a room where people are in it
and they're celebrating one another.
We're all a part of a fraternity,
and if we treat it right,
that fraternity will have an amazing stance
forever. Yeah right? Like you don't want to attach bad stories to it if we don't have to.
Yeah and I think that's the most inspiring thing for the kids because when I think about younger
generations if you grew up watching your favorite people and you knew they were all friends.
How does that change the game now? Because if you're seeing your favorite people fight each other and battle it out for the crown, what are you going to do with the person sitting
right next to you at school? And I think that's, I saw that so much growing up where I've
always wanted to connect with people regardless of what we do in this space, but you saw so
many people who are coming at it from the perspective of, let's see who does better. Let's see
who does more. And again, I love what you said.
Competition's not a bad thing.
Let's not give it a bad name.
But the idea that we've got to be able to hold two truths,
we can compete and still be friends.
And still be friends.
And I think people are still,
yeah, you have to choose, but you know.
And still be friends.
You know, there was a time where the USA men's from team,
the Olympic team, this team was just so elite. And this is in felpses like, felps was felps, a human fish.
Right.
But when you look at a lot, and you look at the other men that were competing on that team,
and you looked at the world of competition between them themselves.
Those practices were more than just practices.
The world of training before the Olympics and the battles that took place in those pools
were they got ready and they were a by each other side every single day.
When I tell you that atmosphere is one that nobody else can understand except the ones that are competing
to be great.
By the way, at the end of every practice, they would get out and shake each other's
hands without me being here.
I'm willing to bet and say, good, when you push me today, you kick my ass today.
Hey, tomorrow, man, I'm gonna see if I can lower my time.
I'm not happy with my 200.
I'll go, I do it with you.
I'll push you.
Hey, my backstroke is whatever.
Hey, you know what today, on those 50s, we did the reps. You seem like you got stronger along the way. Well. I push you a my back stroke is whatever a you know what today on those fifties
We did the reps you seem like you got stronger along the way. Well, I saw you next to me that motivation that motivation
It's your pulling from being alongside of somebody that's quote unquote the best or or the quote unquote greatest
You're using that as fuel. That's not bad
But not in one interview
that you ever see them have any type of report
that looked as if there was animosity or anger
towards one success.
The happiest people for Michael Fels,
where the people on his team,
the happiest people were the people that got to silver,
that were on his team.
That to me, that's the mold and the making of real champions, right? Yeah
That's the mold and the making like if if if you're in it and you have said this is what I'm destined to do
And I'm gonna give my all and every day. I show up with a hundred percent regardless of the outcome
I'm showing up with a hundred percent
That day gonna come
whenever it comes,
I'm going to be ready, it's going to come.
I'm going to get my just doing my fulfilling,
my fulfilling, like need and energy and want
for knowing that I have just delivered for myself.
That's why I can be with.
That's why I look at the mirror.
Sometimes I let myself down because the things that I'm trying to do, I should know I can be with. That's why I look at the mirror. Sometimes I let myself down because the things
that I'm trying to do, I should know I can't redo.
Yeah.
Sometimes I'm chasing the thing that can't be redone again.
Sometimes the lighten in the bottle strikes once.
You're not gonna get that again.
So this times when I'm so hard on myself
that I missed the moments of success
that I should realize that I'm having.
That I'm chasing this thing. Here's a time where I was doing two shows in arenas a night.
Four shows in a city in arenas.
As a comedian.
Go back on tour the next one.
I only do two shows.
Oh my god, I'm falling off.
What's happening?
No.
So it's out six seven shows.
The man is a square girl.
What?
I feel bad because I didn't do it again.
That ain't going to happen again.
That was lightning in the bottle.
You got a guy. You got a man that's a square gum. What? I feel bad because I didn't do it again.
That ain't going to happen again.
That was lightning in the bottle.
You got to get to a place of understanding and realization.
But once again, it's the monsters, man.
Yeah, it's the monsters.
It's the monsters.
It's the monsters.
Yeah, you talk about this in the audiobook
and I loved it.
It was all about the addiction and number one.
Yes.
This idea, and you love this. There was a study that I to number one. It's this idea. And you'll love this.
There was a study that I saw that said,
because you brought up the Olympics,
it sparked my brain.
There's a study that I saw that said,
people who win bronze are happier than people who win silver.
Because the people who came second
were this close to first.
Oh my God, yeah.
But the person who came third, they were happy.
They were like, we weren't gonna get first.
But we got in, we got on the podium.
And it's that podium syndrome of,
at least we got on, but the second, the person in silver,
they are mad at themselves.
Because they didn't get number one.
And so that addiction to number one is so strong.
It's a bigger addiction
when there's multiple versions of.
I'm guilty of the multiple like okay, I need it
Got a movie coming out
Movie going in the box. I need it. I need number one. I don't get number one of a fail like it failed
You flop. I don't get them one of a flop. It's a flop. I got to get them one
Yeah, one or a flop. There's no in between. Yeah, it's one or five like I've always got number one. It's got to be number one
What happens is you're so, you're so unrealistic in expectations that you're missing real success.
Now, I've been fortunate and blessed enough to have a ton of them, but I got to a place Where the the win Was attached to the project the win was attached to me
Finishing a movie and being happy about the movie that I did
Union workers are happy and a director coming out with the finished piece of the product going
You're gonna like this and we see it. We actually like it and then we we screen it for fans, if fans go, we love that's the win.
That's the win.
This other thing, I'm trying to control Kestop.
You can't control that.
And if you keep on going in the direction that you're going in,
if in when that thing changes, you're gonna be so hurt
that the world of recovery might not be easy for you.
You're logic and what you're now
deeming as like reality for you.
It's not reality.
If you don't grasp the real concept
of what it should be now,
it doesn't mean that you're saying that you are ready
to fail, it's saying be prepared
for the world of real to present itself at any point in time.
Don't get caught up in the world of fake.
And me acting as if I control these numbers, as if I can navigate and direct and make
it happen, when and how I want all the time, I'm setting myself up.
So you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to check myself now.
Yeah.
Let me balance it out now. What are you doing?
I love what I do
Well then let's be happy and what we do I talk to David Letterman on my comedy pockets right comedy gold mines and
Letterman said he was so dark at one point
Because all he did was show up and he looked at the numbers between him
and the other shows every day.
Oh my God, that's painful.
Every day.
My Instagram number's here.
He said, every day I got there and I looked at it
and I was, my team, you and I were working hard enough
and I was so hard, he said, I'm so hard on people.
And when you hear him talk, love David.
By the way, I don't know the letterman of old
that some people ran into.
I know the letterman of now and he's so transparent, the information and how he talks and what
he's overcome. His stories were just, it was so good to hear. Because when you hear
people that are openly telling you, you can't do this. You can't operate like this.
Because it eats away at you.
It eats away.
It made me realize I did go through a piece of that.
I just was able to catch mine early.
And in the worry of like, we might fail,
we've risk being open to being broken, right?
Like that's the risk.
Like, you don't wanna go down,
but you don't realize that if you're not prepared
for that down, the down's gonna be far worse.
That's gonna be far worse, man.
We have had a live example of a lot of those downs, right?
Like, in real time, we're watching, I call it the Truman Show.
And for everybody listening to your podcast, if you're not familiar with the Truman Show,
it's a Jim Carrey movie, but basically, you know, people's lives, it's the movie, right?
We're watching, we're watching real live movies every single day.
And you're watching people make mistakes, recover from mistakes, not recover from mistakes,
make rights instead of left, left instead of rights.
And seeing that, we choose to ignore it as if it's not real life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We choose to ignore it.
Because it feels like it's TV.
And the biggest drug, the biggest drug,
it's not cocaine, it's not heroin, it's not,
Molly or opioids, and the biggest drug is fame.
And now it's more accessible and different,
it's the biggest drug. And the reason why it's the biggest drug is fame. And now it's more accessible and different doses. It's the biggest drug.
And the reason why it's the biggest drug,
because it's a drug that makes you feel like you are powerful
in like everywhere you go, anything you want,
everything you want, it's a thing.
And if you can't handle this thing,
the consequences attached to when that thing is removed
are severe.
Nobody prepares you for the world of fame.
There is no handbook, there is no outline,
there is no guide by guide.
Step one, the step 10, there's nothing.
You get it. And's nothing you get it and
Yesterday you weren't and today you are and tomorrow you're not what no we're done people get shell shocked
that to me
Has always been
The point of no return at the end of the day this can wear off if and when
return. At the end of the day, this can wear off if and when however sees or decides and if
that were to happen, well, what am I? Where am I? It's all going to it's all going to be in the back to are you happy with who you are and what you did? Are you at a point where you are okay? Do you know you and are you okay with you?
If you are not, it'll break you.
Your energy is incredible.
And just the depth, what I love about this,
and this was my vision with the show,
and you're helping me achieve that,
which I'm very grateful for is,
I don't think, and I love that you've been doing this more and more
with the audible, with, hot to hot,
like we're getting to see your depth.
We're getting to see the mind behind you.
Again, as we said earlier, we like to limit people.
We like to limit people into like, you just be a comedian.
Or you just be a race car driver.
Or you just be a actor.
And it's like, we're starting to realize that,
like you said, you're not just watching someone's life
on TV, there's a human here.
There's a story here.
And we're getting that with you.
Do you think it was, was this something,
was this an epiphany that you had before the accident?
Was it that this really,
because when you're audible,
when you talk about like how, when it's just silent,
you figure out what really matters.
Like when I heard that, I was just thinking like,
our near death experiences, you were told when you came out of it, you should be dead. And you're like, well, I was just thinking like, on near death experiences, you were told
when you came out of it, you should be dead,
and you're like, well, I don't remember anything.
Does that feel like that was a moment
that there is a massive awakening,
or were you already kind of working with some of this?
No, I had a, I was always a transparent, authentic person,
but you definitely change.
That's what it is.
You definitely change, and by what it is. You definitely change.
And by the way, still changing.
I'm not sitting in front of you.
Yes, I'm in the floor, man.
Like, I am my dad's child.
And my mother's child as well.
There's nothing more humbling than a quiet room.
There's nothing more humbling than the realization of
what is really like necessary.
What you take for granted and what we don't think twice about
is not until that's compromised
that the true appreciation for life I feel like
and sometimes be had.
I don't wanna speak for everybody
because I think there are some people that truly do get it and that truly do think whatever their space or version of a
higher power is daily for life and for what they do. You know, I believe in God. So I'm not as
spiritual as some may be, but I'm very thankful for the life that God has allowed me to live and the opportunities
that I've been able to embark upon.
But I got a lot more appreciation after life was almost gone.
Right?
Like, do you really appreciate your toes?
Do you really appreciate your fingers? Like, do you really appreciate your toes? Do you really appreciate your fingers?
Like, do you really think about your movement,
your joints, vision, smell?
Do you really think about how fortunate and lucky you are?
It's the only time where I get a little, where I slow up.
Right?
When I'm slowing up, it's because the reality of that
was significant.
I really almost died.
My kids and all that, like, what?
As I'm moving so fast, I didn't even have everything
dialed up for if said thing were to happen, what would,
oh, cause I'm out here.
I'm just Roman.
I'm out here aimlessly living and I'm moving here. I'm just Roman. I'm out here aimlessly living,
and I'm moving so fast I've yet to grasp
the true concept and reality of responsibility.
Immediately, let me get my responsibilities in order.
Because if that had been,
there would have been a lot of people with their hands up
as to what, how, when, fame is great the lights are great.
Have a heart, have a heart number one, number one, number one.
That was an avaroon.
My god, then wife, my brother, my kids.
You look around, you got a lot of friends, you got a lot of people to love you, but these are, well, what really matters?
That's when my mind says start of the change.
That's when you go, okay, my approach to just me
and working on me, it needs to be different.
I've contradicted myself a lot since, you know,
I wanna slow down, I'ma make sure I get my family more time.
I have, that doesn't mean there can't be more.
The day-to-day battle of, am I giving enough?
Am I, guys, you know how much dad loves you?
I'm here.
Like, you know, always working to make sure to do more.
But is it enough?
My work of hauling?
Okay, but that's not a bad thing, though, because you love the work.
Yes, you do.
That's a passion.
You get something that you go after every day.
That is a driving source for me.
I'm not in the business of letting that go,
but, or you better put your hands on these people
and make sure, you better make sure
that you are giving the time that you said you would
when you were in that time of solace.
Okay, all right, I'm constantly talking to myself.
I have these conversations all the time. That's the beauty of taking my little runs, the beauty of working out, okay, all right. I'm constantly talking to myself. I have these conversations all the time.
That's the beauty of taking my little runs,
the beauty of working out, being in the gym.
You talk to yourself.
You better talk to yourself.
You better have conversations,
figure out a yin and yang of good and bad.
For me, it was about personal involvement
after that accident.
And still trying, man, it's the biggest battle.
It's the biggest battle is just doing right all the time.
That's a battle.
I know when you're gonna get it wrong.
That's a battle, man.
When I go to a restaurant and they bring out a plate,
the waiter said all the time,
don't touch that plate, the plate hot.
You know what I do, Jay?
You know what I say if I touch it, it wasn't a hot.
Yeah.
They told me not to touch the plate.
Yeah.
He said it's hot.
Yeah.
But I still gotta go and touch the plate anyway.
It's a battle.
So being okay with understanding that I'm going to lose and win in this battle and this battle is not over
Until the day I'm in the ground
Cuz you're not gonna get it right. Nope
You're not gonna get it right
And there's people with this idea
And his mind set a mentality
They're gonna get it right and everything's gonna be perfect.
It's not, don't play that perfect game,
because all you will do is get let down,
because perfection does not exist.
I do firmly stand on that and believe that.
It doesn't exist, man.
You should try your hardest to get things right,
in moments where you got them wrong,
figure out how to never get them wrong again.
That's the world of compromise.
That's the world of growth.
That's the world of involvement.
I mean, I got a teenage daughter.
Nobody prepared me for the world of, you know,
like you talking about gotta get it right.
Are we talking enough?
Am I loving enough?
Am I present?
Am I listening?
Am I just delegating?
Am I parenting?
Am I your friend?
Am I?
There's so much.
There's so much.
Teenage sun, little ones.
I mean, my wife, it's a constant battle of energy
and as a guy who is an output, right?
I don't complain is an output, right?
And I don't complain about that output,
but those that I'm taking in from, I just gotta make sure that I'm receiving that,
and that I'm not haul-assing or moving too fast,
so I'm not making the most of those moments.
And that's this level of consciousness I did not have,
a 40 accident.
I was a thousand miles per hour,
and not that I'm not still moving fast,
but I look at my peripheral,
I'm looking at my rearview mirrors, slowing down,
I'm stopping, I'm sleeping.
You know what I mean?
Like, there is a difference.
I know there's a difference, but it's still a battle.
It's still a battle.
It's still a battle.
Yeah.
I love that you describe it like a battle
because what you just described is exactly the practice
we have to have every day, which is you have to revisit. How do I get it right today?
There isn't a day where now you just get it right from now till the end of time. It's revisiting
that every day saying, I'm recommitting to this. I'm going to be a good dad today, right? You
don't get to make a decision to be a good dad in 10 years, you have to do today. And then you do
tomorrow. And I think that what's really interesting, the reason I asked that question too, was
because I think memory is such an interesting thing.
Sometimes when something big happens to us, we feel the shift that this is going to change
how I think.
And then all of a sudden, when things go back to normality, it can sometimes feel as if
it never happened, but it sounds like for you, you've really used it as an anchor.
Well, I did.
Yeah, you've used it.
Even when you say like, you say like, I'm going to be a good dad today, right?
You can only try your best.
Try your best, yeah.
To do that.
Mm-hmm.
Ultimately, just because you say you're a good dad, don't make you a good dad.
No, of course not.
Just because you say you're a good boss, don't make you a good boss.
I can say it every day.
I can think I'm doing it.
But if on the opposite side, if I'm viewed differently, well, that will be because I'm doing
something wrong and I'm not aware.
What I now do is make sure that I'm looking at things through both lenses, not on one
side at POV.
I love that.
It's not just my perception of what I'm doing and how everybody else should see it.
And doing that, the way that I try my best to back up the hope of me being perceived
as that is by putting the true work into being.
Making sure that I'm really engaged with the other people, making sure that there's
a rapport, that there's energy.
And the wife and kids the same thing,
making sure that there's a rapport,
that there's, I'm asking the questions,
and I'm getting the answers,
but I'm asking for things so I can get the proper feedback
so that if I do need to adjust,
or if I do need to fix, at least I'm aware,
operating with the assumption that you are or that you're doing,
it can be a crutch, like it can be, it can be a bad thing if I'm operating with the
assumption because one day you'll wake up and they'll go, you know, I never liked when,
or where actor is a problem for me for all these years was when you, and then you just go,
I never knew, you never said nothing.
And sometimes people don't want to say anything.
Sometimes people don't know how to say anything.
So the world of dialogue, communication,
and just openness is what I think I've gotten better at
over the time, but once again,
what it's a constant space of improvement.
Yeah, you're constantly trying to improve.
I'm Eva Longoria.
I'm Maite Gomez-Rajón.
We're so excited to introduce you
to our new podcast, Hungry For History.
On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes,
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We'll share personal memories and family stories,
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Corner flower.
Both.
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Join us as we explore surprising and lesser known corners
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I mean, these are these legends, right?
Apparently, this guy Juan Mendes, he was making these tacos wrapped in these huge
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Listen to Hungary for history with Ivalangoria and Maite Gomez Rejón as part of the Michael
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A good way to learn about a place is to talk to the people that live there.
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What was meant as seen is a very snotty city. People call it sbozangeless.
New Orleans is a town that never forgets its pay.
A great way to get to know a place is to get invited to a dinner party.
Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Nudham and not lost as my new travel podcast where a friend
and I go places, see the sights, and try to finagle our way into a dinner party.
We're kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party.
It doesn't always work out.
I would love that but I have like a Cholala who is aggressive towards strangers.
We learn about the places we're visiting, yes,
but we also learn about ourselves.
I don't spend as much time thinking about how I'm gonna die alone
when I'm traveling, but I get to travel with someone I love.
Oh, see, I love you too.
And also, we get to eat as much.
I love you too.
My life's a lot of therapy goes behind that.
You're so white, I love it.
Listen to Nut Lost on the iHeart Radio app
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I am Yomla, and on my podcast, the R-Spot,
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Anybody with two eyes and a brain knows that too much Alfredo sauce is just no good for
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Listen to the art spot on the iHeart Video App, Apple Podcast,
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Yeah, and that's, and that's, that is the only way it can be.
There is no other alternative and there's a beautiful
conversation between the Buddha and a student that I love and the student
approaches the Buddha and says, what's the difference between I like you and I love you?
And the Buddha says, when you like a flower, you simply pluck it.
But when you love a flower, you water it every day.
And I'm like, that to me is what you're describing that.
When I love my kids, I have to be trying every day to understand from their point of view.
The flower is going to show you whether you're watering or not.
It's gonna die, it's gonna will is gonna not bloom
or whatever it may be.
And I feel like you've got to be so in tune with yourself
and someone else in order to sense that.
But I know what you're saying is true, true.
And I really do recommend this to anyone
who's a big fan of Kevin's as I am.
Please do go listen to the audio book
because monsters and how to tame them.
I mean, I have never heard someone be
as open and transparent as you are in it.
And you're so open about all your flaws.
And there's one thing that you say here that again,
just I was like, I have to talk to you about this
because it was just, it stuck with me.
And you talk about it and you say,
you know, and you just talk about the fame.
And that's where the idea came from. You just talk about it and you say, you know, and you just talk about the fame and that's where the idea came from.
You just talk about how fame makes you feel invincible.
And then when you talk about getting caught cheating
and you're like, I was in that frame of mind
where I was like, it can't happen to me, right?
It's not possible.
And then you open up about it so raw.
And in my head I'm thinking, what is it about the monster that gets you
to do things even that are against your own values, right? Like the monster gets so strong
that you go as far as that and when you get caught you go, that was an awakening but it still
doesn't wake you up fully, right? There's a limitation to walk us through that.
Well, I mean, look, you're talking about fame, you're talking about power, right?
And that idea of invincible.
Once again, this is a thing that a very small percentage
of people are going to be able to experience or understand,
right?
And it's very easy from the outside looking in
to go, psh, or how, or I don't believe, or how can, right?
But from the other side, not that it's right,
first of all, wrong is wrong.
You're never gonna hear me try to justify or excuse,
wrong is wrong, but in being wrong,
sometimes comes with a world of situation,
the world of opportunity, right?
And you constantly around bad apples, and you hungry,
and people keep saying, don't eat these apples.
Some people are gonna be able to hold off.
Do you have some people that are gonna pick up that apple
and bite it?
It's not right.
It's not something that's justifiable to some.
What's the worst is going to happen.
I'm going to eat it and then what, I'll probably be sick for a second and I'll throw
up and then I'll be fine.
Well, that apple killed you.
But you're, we have looking at it.
In that moment, I'll be fine.
The idea that comes with that level of success
and that comes with opportunity based on situation
is one that you look at is,
I'll be fine, it's easy, it's nothing with it.
It's not to your hands in the pot
and you get burned or court or whatever.
You know, that you gotta sit down and then you gotta think about it.
You gotta look at it and then you realize the layers
that are attached to it.
And that's when the life changing
side of thought happens, right? And then it becomes about you, how you look at yourself, how do you view yourself? And what do you expect from yourself? Right? It's not, it's bigger than just the partner,
of course, that you want to respect. It's also about you and how you want to be viewed
at that point.
Like what's important?
Where are you at?
Where are you at with you?
And that mirror, you get to looking at that mirror,
you know, if you are all right,
well, what you're looking at and you're fine,
flawed and all in all right.
Yeah.
Getting older, put you in a position
to where you just start to look at yourself and you're talking about the complete finished product
that is and will be you those are the moments that you just got to do your best to
not only overcome but just get by yeah and and you know once again it's a battle yeah right? Marriage, love, you gotta learn it.
And at a young age when you're embedded into it,
you're not gonna get it, right?
You gotta learn it.
It's unfortunate how the lessons come
from whichever side, however it happens,
but when learned or when taken as serious as it can be,
of course you reap the benefits or when taking as serious as it can be.
Of course, you reap the benefits and you see how amazing it is,
but I wasn't that smart,
and I'm not gonna act as if I was,
and that's from my first marriage to that.
Is it hard for giving yourself,
or is it hard for asking for forgiveness?
I think it's, I can be hard on myself.
I can stand in the fire,
having another person do it.
That's where it gets tough, right?
It throw rocks at me all day.
When the other person is in here,
I think that's the different level.
In the mistakes that I've made in my life,
the biggest side of consequence has always been
the effect that has had on others. I'll figure it out and do my best to evolve and grow.
However, that has to happen with me,
but I can't dictate how you would receive and how you would handle or
how you would do.
So, you know, watching other people hurt, that's never good.
I think that would be ever the toughest side of it.
Yeah.
Right?
That's a really thoughtful answer, man.
Yeah.
I feel like that's that genuine compassionate heart saying, I know I can figure my way out.
But why would I put someone in a situation
where they have to figure it out for themselves?
It was someone was reading me a quote the other day,
and it was like saying how, I think it was Nietzsche
who was saying, I wish pain and suffering on anyone
because that's what helps them grow.
And I was like, hold up a second.
Yeah, I was like, I was like, I would not wish.
Jesus.
Yeah, it was someone ready out to me. And I was like, I can't subscribe to that. I was like, I was like, I would not wish. Jesus. I was like, yeah, it was someone ready out to me.
And I was like, I can't subscribe to that.
That's a lot.
It was a lot.
I was like, I can't, you can't wish pain and suffering
on to anyone because even though we know you grow
through tough things and you've grown through so many
tough things that were not your choice.
And then some things that were your choice.
But we shouldn't expect that other people
can navigate those situations.
It's good when you say like,
the choices that you make, right?
Yeah.
And because of our times today,
the world of what one does or has done is amplify.
Because we're in a position where everybody can have an opinion
and there's a space to voice that opinion, right?
I'm gonna dumb it down
and I'm gonna go to the lowest level right now.
When people do some of the dumbest mistakes
from crime, theft, and for deadly cheating, all of the go all over.
Who has vetted out the consequences? Nobody has sat and vetted out the consequences.
Right? Everyone has robbed a bank as a tip to the robber bank because they found it to be a very easy thing.
I'm going here, 12 o'clock, bad man going break.
He going break, I'm going there.
While he on break, I'm gonna get the money and then we gonna come out.
All we got to do is get back before he get back from lunch.
And we, gonna come out. All we gotta do is get back before he get back from lunch.
And we, we, we got it.
And they go in, Rod the bank,
the alarms go off,
ain't blow up on the money.
They don't know none of them.
They didn't, the kid locked up and they say something crazy.
Like, yo, I ain't, I mean to do this.
And the world goes,
what you mean, I mean to do do it, you're on the big.
No, some people are, some thoughts.
Yeah.
Are that simplistic?
Yes, yes.
Some actions are just dead, stupid, and they're not thought out.
But everything is not that deep.
Everything did not have that many layers to the mistake
when a mistake happened.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm grounded in the world of reality.
Everything that I have done in my mind, I attached a piece of logic and made it made sense
to me.
Yeah, that's it.
You can make anything make sense to you if you wanted to.
And sometimes it's not until consequences present themselves
that you realize the idiotic way to thinking
or the idiotic approach to what you feel you can do.
The bigger than a world like mentality,
humbling is something that has to happen.
You can either welcome it or not,
or we're all privy to it. Minds is
counting and different doses, shapes and sizes, man. But I just don't, I don't
want to say I don't like. I think the thing that like it just yet to shake
your head, it's not even worth the battle and conversation.
It's simple. Yeah, it's not. Yeah, it's not deeply thought through. It's simple. It's not, yeah, it's not deeply thought through.
It's just not deeply thought through.
I was watching Biden.
There's a clip of Biden, but Biden says,
and this is, I probably watched this clip.
I'm not in the politics at all, but this,
Biden goes, I got something important
and I want to say in the whole world needs to hear it.
I need everybody to listen right now.
And he takes a beat, he goes,
I forget it.
The president of the United States.
Nobody but it didn't mean to do that.
Yeah.
But it didn't go up there and say,
I'm gonna set up.
We got the best joke in the world.
And in the middle of it, go, man.
You're gonna send me that clear.
Yeah, I'm gonna send that.
I'll show you that.
I'm gonna say, yeah, you guys show it to me.
I said it to say it was, it's something later
that he went and watched.
God, I'm sorry.
He apologized.
I'm sorry, I know, I know.
I know, guys, I don't know.
I'm sorry. Like, he didn't mean it.
Yeah, yeah.
He didn't plan it.
I hope, I hope my way of making my point makes sense.
I hope that I'm articulating you are, you are.
You are, you are.
I'm saying that, I I'm really there's no excuses
there there should never be any excuses yeah wrong is wrong problems are forever
I'm saying that I don't like it when people tell you how you thought about something and you go wasn't that
I didn't even it wasn't that nope I just I just, I kinda just,
I just walked down there, I didn't even know that it was,
yeah, do you think you just walked?
Yeah.
Did you get out the bed?
Did you put on those boots on purpose?
Nope, I just, that's actually no, I didn't.
That's not what I did.
I hate it, like, it's like, I don't like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Some thoughts are not that deep in that layer.
Yeah, that's the difference I've found between being critical and being a critical thinker.
Everyone's critical today where it's just, we try and find the floor.
And what you're encouraging through this book, through your work, and what we're encouraging
here on this platform is critical thinking.
Let's be open to the fact it could be really basic,
it could be really deep, it could be somewhere in between,
and most likely you have no idea because you're not that person,
right? You didn't do that, you didn't have to live through that.
It's a very slippery slope to go down when you talk about it
because like I said, you're in a time,
everybody knows everything.
Everybody's the smartest person in a room today.
And that's an amazing thing to me. Like everybody's right all the time.
You tell them,
nobody's wrong today.
You know that two, three, four, six, XYZ.
Everybody, do you understand
and we're in a time where everybody's right.
Everybody knows everything.
Everybody is the smartest person in the world.
I call them the best coaches
that I've never won a championship. People don't think about that enough. Yeah, the coaches in the world. I call them the best coaches that I've never won a championship.
You don't think about that enough?
Yeah, the coaches in the stands.
I mean, it's something that we're eventually
gonna have to get out of.
The road of anxiety in mental health
is at the highest level just that it's ever been.
It's on the front page.
I wasn't aware of mental health at the at the level
that it is pre pandemic. I had no idea that existed at the level and that so many people
suffered. I had no idea about the battles of real depression or real day to day. I had
no idea. But with that time did it put it on the forefront and you get to see how people are truly battling
battling on a day-to-day
Based off of perception doubt and how they feel based off of what I think you think like yeah
That's a scary thing. It's a scary thing and And, you know, I can only be transparent and authentic and hopes that people will find
it is what it is, man.
Be you, unapologetically, and as you are correcting or fixing or evolving in you, understand
you got a dope thing to look back at and that's the old you versus the new
Attempt and who you are trying to be
That to me is beautiful
Every piece of art that I look at that I love that I embrace
There's nothing better than looking at it from the start. Yeah, yeah, yeah, where did the start out as?
Every house that gets built what did it start out as?
Every card it gets built what did it start out as every house that gets built? What did the start out as every card gets built?
What did it start out as closed that we were?
What was the design in the beginning?
Everything has stages of growth.
Why in today's time are we forgetting that?
Why are we forgetting that and expecting an immediate space
of perfection?
I didn't know the babies come out the womb and know it all off the back.
I thought they have to be taught. The way that we're talking today, that's tough. It's
tough. So I try my best to remove myself from as much as I can. I try myself to act
as a aid for laughter, happiness, joy. And I can only hope that the conversation attached
to my name will be one of good. I can't control it. If it is great, man, if it isn't, I
try. That's where I'm at. Yeah. That's where my mindset is today.
That's the day. Well, when I when I listened to your audio book, which I felt was a very intimate take on you as a human
not as an entertainer, I can honestly say that I walked away from it, saying to my friends and people that I speak to going,
you know what? Kevin didn't have to do that.
That's how I felt when I listened to it. I was like Kevin didn't have to do that. Like he's successful.
He's winning. He's great what he does. He didn't have to create anything to talk about his flaws.
But you just didn't have to do that.
And to me, that's why I respect and admire you,
because when I heard that, I was like,
well, if he's happy to go there,
and he's happy to talk about how these monsters never die,
and he's happy to talk about how he's still dealing with them,
I find it to be some
of your most meaningful work, at least in the work I do of course and I don't want to feed you
approval once to read them but you know like I really feel that way like I really feel that way.
There's a place that you get to in life right where you start to you start like what did I do?
Yeah. What did I do right like what's and it doesn't mean like you healed the world or you you know changed world created
This you have something like this. I'm not I'm not saying it for those answers
But for you like the question is like what did I do and I'm at a place where okay?
Outside of the success in the fame was like what am I what do I want what am I doing right and?
The information that I now have the opportunity to give, like the
information, if nothing else, the information, if you really want to have impact, and you
want to try to position yourself to help create the opportunities for change, financial
literacy in the black community, not understanding banking, having known it.
My alignment with Chase and JP Morgan,
but my why, there's a why attached to it.
Okay, this is a reason.
I got something bigger than my famous success.
I, okay, this is a passion.
Yes.
And something that we're trying to correct.
Okay, in the space of
Inspiration motivation. There's a passion attached to me trying to simply inspire and
Motivate those that just simply aren't getting motivating messages on a day-to-day
Because some households just don't do it. Some may not have the households that do it. I didn't grow up in a mom and dad
the dinner every night, the family prayer at the table. I didn't have that. That's not
my life. There's other people that I do have it. There's some people that just is a
damnant their mom, damnant their dad. Some people don't have anybody. Whatever that thing is,
you don't know who's pulling from what to try to get to wear.
Like, you, we have no idea.
So, if I can now act as a aid that is giving you nothing but verbal warfare attached to
truth and authenticity.
If I'm giving you an adult and gyms that are attached to a real life concept. Like this isn't, it's
not made up. I'm giving you simple information based off of me and my battles. I just told
you there's no handbook for fame. Yet, and still I'm giving you in some way shape or form something that can be camouflaged as an example of how I had to
handle a just deal. I have an opportunity to have an on-season and off-season.
My on-season is movies, maybe a stand-up comedy tour, maybe not. My off-season, I
can go and I can I can be a speaker at. I can talk to companies about. I can be a speaker at I can talk to companies about I can go to
said conventions and give x, y, and z
that's used to simply amplify, motivate, and inspire whatever those things are
once again, I'm creating another door
attached to a piece of passion that I discovered. I discovered this. I didn't set out to do it.
I discovered it.
And those that I see doing it, you know,
when Will right now, Will Smith, good friend of mine,
you know, Will's book had a tremendous amount of success.
Will sold a million books.
It's not just because of the Will Smith factor.
Will Smith is telling you the truth.
Hey, man, you guys got the glitz and glamour of gold from the perception that I gave you without ever really pulling the veil back
to show you everything else that was back here. I can't hold it no more. I was in this
business for 30 years or whatever.
I cannot.
I don't want to get to that point.
So I do it all the time.
You're still going, you're still working, but I promise you there's a person that will
listen to this, that will understand it and that will go, you know what, man, shouldn't
be afraid to be who you are.
If I can embody and embed the space of confidence for others
To make people understand how dope it is to simply believe that you can do whatever you put your mind to if I can help and just give you that push
I did my part
self-confidence and belief
That's how dreams get met
self-confidence and belief that's how you check off
get mad. Self-confidence and belief. That's how you check off goals. That's how you march towards whatever your versions of success are with a sprinkle of that humility. That's it. Yeah.
Kevin, it has been such a joy talking to you today, man. We end with five
boss questions. These have to be answered in one sentence.
Five hundred and forty three pounds. One sentence. One sentence only for each answer.
All right. Kevin, these are your final five. Question one. What is one sentence only for each answer. All right.
Kevin Haudenosa your final five question one. What is the best advice you've ever received?
Don't be local.
Hmm. Big logo. Chris Rock. Yeah. Do not be a local comedian. Love that. Make the world laugh.
Uh, second question. What is the worst advice you've ever received?
You heard worst advice have ever received the hurt.
It's sometimes you got to make a studio respect you.
You said don't give long answers to after
so I'll summarize.
I wanna know, yeah.
It was based off of,
I know, I know, you go back.
It was based off of,
after you get to a place in acting
where you become number one on the call sheet,
if a studio isn't doing things to your liking,
well, sometimes you gotta not show up.
And the reason why I say this to worst advice
that I've ever received, I'm straight for a businessman
and always have been.
And the road and negotiation can be simplified.
It doesn't have to be the game of back and forth
from true war, right?
So being in a room and having a face-to-face conversation
with foundation of understanding of what you want
versus what I want, you can succeed a lot more.
And I've never not done that.
All opportunities, all business, all relationships
have flourished because of an understanding
of communication that I've done in the room,
whether it be my team, studio, studio, me, my team,
that, that to me has allowed me to achieve much more success
than allowing other people to talk for me and other things to be
long-gated and go on and on and you end up with a perception that's not of you.
Yeah.
That's created based off of the idea of what people think you are because of the way that you've handled business.
And what's great about that is it breaks the pattern so that other talent don't get that same advice.
Absolutely.
So that then keeps perpetuating
the pattern.
Now 25 years from now, your kids are going to deal with it because that was the pattern
that you continued and said.
So yeah, I love that.
Question number three, how would you define your current purpose?
My current purpose is about embracing the world of we and making the we bigger than the
idea of me. And that's for anybody in the position of,
you know, whatever your version of star success is,
it's embracing the word of we,
making other people feel like they can,
creating opportunities, you know,
changing the economy by,
broadening your businesses and more jobs,
more opportunities, et opportunities, etc.
We, right?
More, Father, how do we have more success?
More wins.
Question number four, what's something you used to value that you don't value anymore?
The world of approval that you can't control.
I can't control what the world thinks of what people think.
And I thought that I could.
I thought that I could do everything to show you that I'm a good guy, a nice guy, trying
to do that because that's naturally what you are or who you are and you want people to
know that.
But you can't control it.
You can't control it.
So one thing that I do not need is the idea or understanding that everybody loves you. Yeah.
Right.
I don't need that.
And once upon a time I thought that I did, there was a fear of what people don't like
me.
Wow.
What I do.
And that's not the case anymore.
That's incredible.
All right.
Fifth to final question.
We asked this to every guest.
If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow,
what would it be? Practice which you preach. That's a great law.
Very simple. Practice, be a definition of what you preach.
Right? That's a great idea. It's easy to have words, it's easy to say, it's hard to do.
I would love to see a world of more doers and sayers.
Everyone, Kevin Ha, I know you already watched the movie,
it's already watched the specials keep doing that,
but please do not miss out on what's going on inside the mind
of this human and dumbness out on everything else that's
happening around building this mindset of we.
I want you to show Kevin a lot of love from our on-purpose community.
Please tag us on whatever social media platform you use, sharing the greatest moments insights
and nuggets of wisdom from Kevin.
There was so many great gems that he dropped today.
I want to make sure that you screenshot the episode, share it everywhere that you share,
and make sure that we see that because I love seeing the ideas that resonate with you, that stick with you, but most importantly, the ones you apply, the ones you practice,
the ones you put into your own reality and start seeing changes in your life.
Kevin, thank you for being such a generous guest, such a present guest.
I've felt every question I've asked you, I've felt your presence, I've felt your energy,
and you've just brought it tonight, man, and I'm so grateful to you,
and that was so special and beautiful.
I hope you'll come back.
Hey, man, I wanna say thank you,
and you've created such an amazing environment
of comfort to your community,
and you just speaking to your community way that you do,
you built something amazing.
And, you know, when I'm talking about being in a space
of trying to motivate
inspire or push however I can you know you do it now on a daily people come here
and it'll leave it with a sense of feel good so congrats again man but I hope
you truly understand like the real work that you're doing and that you've done
and the guests that you get here,
they're come here for a reason
because we too are listening to you.
And we're taking away anecdotes.
Like your mindset, your perspective,
as a man watching you, as a husband,
which are kids, we pull from that.
You find energy and motivation to seeing people do it correctly.
So please continue to be the example
that you are and put your life on display
at the love of you, dude, man.
The right people are watching.
And I hope that you continue to get
the response that you're doing.
Well, I'm gonna keep coming to you
when I need help too.
So just, just, just know that.
But I appreciate it coming from you,
my very empowering, honestly, very empowering.
I mean it, I mean it, we're, man. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets.
It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season, and yet we're constantly discovering
new secrets.
The variety of them continues to be astonishing. I can't wait
to share ten incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the
profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. Listen to season 8 of Family
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