On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Kim Kardashian ON: How to Deal with Challenging Times in Parenting & Learning to Love Again

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

Today, I sit down with Kim Kardashian to talk about self compassion and self love. Kim talks about her experiences as a celebrity and an influencer, how she learned to love and take care of herself more so she can have more love and compassion for others, and the challenges of being a parent of four and running a business at the same time.  Kim Kardashian is an entrepreneur, business mogul, and producer. She first gained media attention in her appearances in the reality television series "Keeping Up with the Kardashians," which chronicles the personal and professional lives of her and her family members. Over the years, Kim Kardashian has built a successful brand, including beauty and fashion lines, and has become known for her influential social media presence. You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon. What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 03:55 When was the last time someone didn’t recognize you? 05:02 How often do you take a mental health check and have some time alone? 07:22 How do you manage a life in public with different personas? 09:38 Going out of your way to be of help and support someone in need 12:50 This is what genuine compassion can do for your personally and for others 16:25 Self work can be different for different people and that’s okay 18:02 Putting your own happiness first is a skill that can take time to learn 24:31 Surrounding yourself with people you trust is the best place to be in 29:05 With parenting, everyone says the days are long, the years are short 32:05 Parenting challenges is a lifetime commitment for every parent 36:32 Kids can ask difficult questions and this is how you can be more open to them 38:56 The journey of personal growth through helping other people 40:54 Kim explains that we all make mistakes and the second chance we get makes a huge  difference 44:12 “I’ve never been hard on myself, but I am competitive with myself.” 47:03 How can positive peer pressure help you? 52:08 The warm welcoming presence always makes people comfortable and welcome 54:41 When you feel like you’re the worst mom, how do you cope? 01:00:10 Living a good life and being the best example for your kids 01:01:34 Kim on Final Five Episode Resources Kim Kardashian | Website Kim Kardashian | YouTube Kim Kardashian | Twitter Kim Kardashian | Facebook Kim Kardashian | TikTok SKKN BY KIM Skims Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our 20s are often seen as this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, make mistakes, and figure out our lives. But what can psychology teach us about this time? I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the psychology of your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, and much more to explore the science behind our experiences. The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Listen now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Munga Shatekler, and it turns out astrology is way more widespread than any of us want to believe. You can find in major league baseball, international banks, K-pop groups, even the White House. But just when I thought I had a handle on this subject, something completely unbelievable

happened to me and my whole view on astrology changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, give me a few minutes because I think your ideas are about to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I am Dr. Romani and I am back with season 2 of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. This season we dive deeper into highlighting red flags and spotting at narcissists before they spot you. Each week you'll hear stories from survivors who have navigated

through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and their process of healing. Listen to navigating narcissism on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Wait a minute, I'm trying to make everyone happy. I'm doing all this stuff for everyone else but myself. Let me just like pull back a second, focus on myself, and then it seemed like everyone else was happier. The best-selling author in the post. The number one health and wellness podcast.

One purpose with Jay Shetty. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world, thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to become happier, healthier and more healed. And I am so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love, is out and I cannot wait to share it with you.

I am so, so excited for you to read this book. For you to listen to this book, I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to 8rulesoflove.com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep or let go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour, love rules. Go to jsheddytour.com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more.

I can't wait to see you this year. Now, today's guest is someone that I've been wanting to speak to you for years, and I'm so grateful that I finally have the opportunity. I first deemed her in 2018. I'm gonna show her in a second, saying grateful that I finally have the opportunity. I first DMed her in 2018. I'm going to show her in a second saying, Kim, I would love to interview. What did I know? I didn't even have a podcast then, but I'm so grateful that five years on, she's in the studio. I'm speaking about the one and only Kim Kardashian, entrepreneur, business mogul and producer Kim first burst onto the scene in 2007 after

the premiere of a hit E Entertainment reality series, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, which my wife is a huge fan on. That ended in 2021 after 20 seasons and the Kardashian and her family announced in December of 2020 that they had signed a multi-year deal with Hulu to create the Kardashians, which began airing in April 2022, and is currently filming season 3, and they're here right now. Kim is passionate about the fight for criminal justice reform and has been studying for a law degree through the apprenticeship program in the state of California. In 2020, she launched a podcast with Spotify, Kim Kardash's The System, the case of Kevin Keith, which went to number one.

Kim's the founder of Skims, Skin by Kim, and in September of 2022, she announced the launch of private equity from Sky Partners with J.S.M. And welcome to the show, Kim Kardashian. Kim. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for being here. I can't believe you DMed me. I did. Can I show you? Yeah.

I want to show you because I me. I did. Can I show you? Yeah. I want to show you because I, sorry. It's been so long to get you back to you. I mean, I'm not saying it to make you feel sorry. I'm saying it because I want you to know how much I appreciate you being here. Oh my gosh. There you go. Yes.

August 4, 2018. Would love to meditate together. Let me know if it's something you'd like to try. I would love to interview you. Oh, here we are. Here we are. Here we are. I wanted to say this on camera.

We were just talking about it offline just now, but your family has been so wonderful to me in so many ways. And I've had so many beautiful interactions with Chloe first of all. She loves you. She's where I first became aware of you from Chloe sending videos and clips of some of the really positive things that you put out there in the universe.

And she, we have a positivity chat for our family. And so we put really sweet things to get us in good moods and motivated and start our day in a really good space. And so you're in there a lot. I love that. That makes me happy. Yeah.

And she was the first and then I recently connected with the candle and she came on the show and it was just beautiful. How openly she shared. And then that led to me meeting your mom at the People's Choice Awards and then having dinner with her recently. And I was just, I want to say this because I think people just don't understand. Have you been to a taco Tuesday? I have not been to a taco Tuesday.

Okay. Oh, sorry, no tattle Tuesday. Tattle free Tuesday. I don't know. I'm getting it. I don't want to get in trouble. Your mom did the nicest thing. So my wife wasn't there with me, but we're both vegan.

And so she had Chloe's chef make us a vegan meal. Yeah. And I was saying to you earlier that I literally felt like I was at my friend's mom's house. Like that's how she made me feel. That's how she is. Yeah, really beautiful feeling. So she is the best. She's so warm.

She just loves everyone to feel welcomed. She makes sure everyone is thought of. And that's one of my favorite qualities of her that I will never get over and never forget. And always it's just how she makes people feel. Yeah. Well, I hope you feel very welcome and safe today. I do. And I want to dive right in.

I, uh, I was thinking about this. You've been traveling so much lately, I feel, from what I see on Instagram, like you've been to Paris and Japan and London. And then you're going to be starting to shoot for the new show. And I just feel like you're always on the move. I wonder when was the last time you went somewhere where someone didn't know who you were? Or actually, was there a moment where someone said to you went somewhere where someone didn't know who you were? Or actually, was there a moment where someone said to you, who are you?

What do you do? When was the last time you had an interaction like that? You know what? In Japan, it's like that. You know, everyone's really respectful, even if they might recognize you, they don't ask for photos and it's a really amazing experience. I think it's important, you know, just to listen, I love my life. I love everything that comes along with it. I am not complaining. But a little glimpse of that,

I think, especially for the little ones, is so good. Yeah, no, that's definitely a beautiful experience. I think it's nice for everyone to feel wanted and loved and then also feel unseen. Yeah. Like, we almost crave both of those. I was thinking about it today. You're always surrounded by film crews. And you have like 352 million people that follow you on Instagram. I wonder, do you prioritize time alone? Do you get time alone?

And what does that look like? I do. I get up really early. My morning workout really is my, I don't want to say therapy session because it's not like I'm really communicating things. But even if I'm quiet and I'm in my zone, that's my mental health check every morning. I love my workout. It keeps me sane. I can't say that enough. That's my time in the morning. Then as soon as everyone starts to get up

for school, the madness happens and it's about two hours of madness from getting four kids ready in the morning, fed out the door. On to school, I drop off school every day. And then I have a little bit of time. I'd say about 20 minutes driving back where I just blast my music. I don't take any calls. That's my alone time. I love it. And then I get to the house and I start my take any calls. That's my alone time. I love it.

And then I get to the house and I start my full work day and I'm committed and focused. And then the madness of bath time, bed time, dinner time, and once four babies are asleep and I just cherish that time at night when everyone's asleep

and I can watch whatever show I want and just have some alone time. So I do take the time for myself. I think it's really important. Yeah, absolutely. You said something beautiful before we started recording and I definitely want to go in that direction because you were talking about the different platforms and how you can show different parts of yourself

but you came here because there was something specific. And I'd love to hear that because I want to go in that direction with you. I love your podcast. I've seen it and I've seen, I think I just love seeing the, the reels that pop up with just a quick message that'll get you through the day, that'll remind you who you are, remind you what you need to come across and see at that moment in that day and carry you through the day.

Yeah. So I think it's important for people to express like how they feel and who they are a little bit deeper and what's in their heart. And I think that's kind of what this podcast is about. Yeah, and I think, thank you for trusting me. I really do value that. Of course. And I don't take it for granted.

But the interesting thing there is I feel like there's a beautiful statement in Japanese culture says that we have three faces, one face we show to the world, the second face we show to our friends and family, and the third face no one sees. And I wonder when you talk about your values and who you are, what's the part of you that you think no one gets to see in all these other places that you want to share today? I definitely think I show all my faces, but I do think that people pick and choose what they want to take from you. I do share journeys of mine that have been challenges, whether it's like law school and

different projects and how starting a business and all of that. It definitely weave that in throughout, but I think that anytime you have the opportunity to express yourself in a more meaningful way, I think it's always a good thing to do, especially since I'm just a big fan of you and what you represent and who you are.

So I always love to share my tips and anything that I've learned along the way because God knows it is not easy. Like parenting is so hard. Family dynamics, relationships, it is so hard. It's really interesting you say that because when I was speaking to your mom, she was saying that about you. She was saying that you're the person that for anyone in your family, no matter how busy you are, you'll go completely out of your way.

She was telling me about a particular incident, but she was just saying that you will just dive in, book everyone on the flight, get everyone there, get to that person, help them, support them. And even when it's someone who's not directly connected to you, but is indirectly connected in, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, but the idea of just, you'll reach that far out. And when I was hearing that about you from her, I was thinking that that takes so much compassion and care from your side.

And those are not two words that on some of the other platforms that people may hear about you, but that's what I'm getting talking to your mother about you. And I wonder how if you I feel family is the cause for so much stress for people. It's the cause for so much anxiety for people. And as you said, it's hard. How have you continued to lean in to compassion and care care even when it's easier to compare and criticize and complain? Well, with family, I mean, I was always raised like no matter what, blood is thicker than water, there's no other options. So we definitely go through our things as sisters, there's no other options. Like we will work it out.

Like we are family, we are sisters, we will figure it out. And I think you just have to, I think also more compassion comes with age and the more things that you've been through. And especially I think my heart has opened up so much in that space, just spending time even with people behind bars that I'm fighting for. And I might not have even had the slightest idea of what someone's gone through or even understood taking the time to listen to people more than maybe speaking and making it about yourself and my compassion has just grown and my empathy has grown on another level. You can't really judge people for their pace on when they choose to really want to dig deep

into their own compassion and empathy and when people choose to grow and evolve. But it's so nice to have people that support that journey and grow with you because once you realize that this life really isn't about you and it's about helping as many people as you can, all these doors open up for you and your mind just opens up and it's a really great place to be when you feel like you have enough, when you would chase things for so long and when you just feel content, it's such a good place to be

and it's such and like allows for so much more compassion. I think and I want everyone to go back and listen to that part. I feel like you just beautifully defined compassion and I'm going to try and reiterate what you just said. It was so well said because I think people think about compassion as care and you just defined it by pace. And I think when you're patient for the pace at which people grow and evolve, that actually is compassion. Yeah, there's nothing worse when someone is like so woke and they've they're on this therapy journey and they expect you to be right there with them. therapy journey and they expect you to be right there with them. But it's a beautiful thing to sit back and watch people make mistakes, learn from their mistakes, grow and evolve and just be there to hold their hand and support them. I think that's what anyone would want. I've seen so many people

would want. I've seen so many people on these like self-help journeys that just aren't as happy, you know, and I think you just have to like sit back and do what works for you and move at your own pace and understand that it's okay that you're not at the same level as someone else. I mean, I'm just such a... everything happens the way it's supposed to. I love just people in their own journeys. And I never try to be so preachy or to think that someone has to be in my place. And at the level where I've evolved to, it's great when your friends have the same kind of epiphanies as you and you want the same things,

but then sometimes it's just not like that. Yeah, yeah, definitely. There's... You brought two things to my mind. One was what real love is, like when you really love your family, you don't love them because they change. Yeah. Your patient with them as they try to change. That's what love is because they may or may never get to the other side. And the other thing that came to mind is something my teachers would often tell me, my monk teachers, they would often repeat to me that you're never trying to get someone to the next step in your journey. You're trying to get them to the next step in their journey. Yeah.

And I think you're so right that when we're doing self-work, we are constantly preaching to other people about the things we want to hear and the things we want to do. Yeah. And like self-work can just be so different for so many people. You know, like my morning workouts, I swear that's my self work. My drive in the car every day, blasting whatever music I want to, like that is my meditation. That's my zone. And that works for me. You know, when I need help and I need help figuring out different parenting things and different methods that I can use. I will reach out and get the help that I need when I need it for sure. But I also

think there's just, there's no like right method of what works for everyone. You know, it's like whatever works for you, good for you. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I feel like when people see you, and even now you've just been talking, you have so much trust in yourself, or trust in your inner voice. That doesn't mean you, I don't believe you're saying,

I always get it right, or this is the only way what you're actually saying is, I've learned to trust my voice, and I wonder, was there a time when you didn't trust that voice, and, or can you remember the first time where you started to hear it? Like, I remember the first time I really started to hear my voice deeply was probably when I was 14 years old. And that's when I could hear this voice inside of myself that was like,

Jay, this is who you are. This is what you care about. This is what matters to you. You don't need to be this or be that or do it this way. And I remember I started listening to it then and now that in a voice is really loud. Yeah. It's always there.

God, I wish I listened to my inner voice at 14. Ha, ha, ha. But do you remember when you first started like, because when I'm speaking, here's during you now, you're just like, yeah, like I'm very comfortable with people being themselves and I'm comfortable with who I am,

which is beautiful. But when did that, I feel so many people want to live that way, but that's the thing we all struggle with. It definitely didn't come right away. I was a people pleaser, and I would make decisions based off of other people's happiness for so long. I would say, honestly, in the last few years, definitely at 40, I figured it out of just following my happiness, which was

really, I think, an important place for me to get to because I always put other people's happiness over my own. And it doesn't mean you disregard other people's feelings and it doesn't mean you don't care and you don't love them. But it is a great place to be when you finally put yourself first. And I will say that took a long time. And that was like relying on other people for confidence in business decisions. And it's great to have your team, and to always like bounce ideas and make sure that you're collectively picking the right choice

and work thing for you. But true confidence where you feel you're making the right decisions, you know, you got it. You are thinking about yourself first and not just in a selfish way, but like in a protecting your heartway, it feels really good. And I might not have gotten there until I was literally 40. And what do you think it was about the last few years where you had to turn towards that, that pushed you there? I've never been an unhappy person. I'm always really happy with my surroundings.

I don't need people to make me happy. I'm not really ever searching for something. I'm really content. My babies make me happy. My family, my life, you know, experiences make me happy. But when you just look around and when there's like tension and stress that is just not necessary from work, from relationships, from friendships,

and you just decide to be still and not try to please everyone, it becomes just really clear. And you realize that you just want to be happy. And you want to share this life and that these experiences with your group of people that you trust and you love and who are super loyal. Like life is always going to be stressful. And you can't control half of it.

But if you can control what you put out and how you react to all of life's stresses and your response to all of that, and realizing that you could eliminate a lot of those stresses with making yourself happy first and choosing yourself, then you know you're on the right path. And once I did that, and once I chose to choose myself and be happy, so many opportunities just opened up.

Things that I never thought in a million years would come my way. It seemed like clear as day that the universe was rewarding me for choosing myself and like elevating, like getting to the next level in the video game, like I had to get here and I was always like here, just in my growth process. And once I chose myself, it was like, oh my God, the whole, the universe is opening up for you and all these opportunities are coming my way.

And those were the confirmations that I was heading in the right direction. I remember saying that to one of my sisters, I was like, oh my God, it is so crazy. I got this opportunity, this opportunity, this is changing, this is changing. And it seemed like all these amazing things started to happen in my life when I just took a second, was still realized, wait a minute, I'm trying to make everyone happy. I'm doing all this stuff for everyone else but myself. Let me just like pull back a second,

focus on myself, and then it seemed like everyone else was happier because everything was just falling into place. And that was like, I saw it clear as day, and that would like push me and motivate me to continue to just be happy and do what I wanted to do instead of what other people wanted to do. And that was like it was like a good feeling. It really like showed me that I was making the right decisions. I'm so happy for you. Thank you. And genuinely. And a good place to be when you're genuinely a happy person, you know, like no complaints.

Yeah. Not taking things too seriously. Not taking yourself too seriously is also a little key to happiness. Yeah, I think the energy that gets lost in worrying about something versus working towards fixing it or solving it. Yeah. Can just drain the worrying, the worrying, if you worry about something, it's not going to change the outcome. Let's just come up with a solution.

Like let's say what the problem is, not complain, I'm not a complainer. So it's like let's just get to the solution, let's figure it out, and let's move on. Absolutely. Nothing worse when you complain every step of the way. Yeah, and it's natural and it's easy, but we all know it doesn't get you to where you want to go. And I think that's a big reason. What's the, I wonder with what you were saying, one of the big things that comes out as you took my family and people in your life and you talked about your life as chat. Like there's this loyalty is such a big value for you. Across your life it seems. What have you learned about people that you wish you learned sooner?

Was there something that you started to learn and recognize patterns in people and that has made you better now, but you wish like, I've learned this a couple of years sooner than it could have saved me a lot of distress and challenges that came up. Don't take anything personally. I've been really blessed to have really great, solid relationships. I have the same group of best friends we went to preschool together. We talk every single day. My best friend is my best friend since the day I grow up, you know, when I was born. The people I work with, my family, my sisters, but my best friend's sister is also, you know, and everyone I trust, 100%, everyone is so loyal, 100%, you can't come up to me and tell me something about one of my friends.

If someone were to say, oh, this person said this about you and they're in my circle, I would be absolutely not. I would trust that 100%. I think that's so rare, or what I've seen is so rare. And I just feel so lucky to just love everyone around you. Trust everyone around you, they trust you. My friends know they can call me any hour. I'll be the first one to pick up and help. All of my friends would drop everything

to help me in a situation and to have that real support and love, I think is everything in life, to have loyal supportive people around you. And I think you can also tell so much about a person that has really long-standing relationships. That's stability. When I look to hire people,

I look at their previous jobs and how long they've had those relationships for, and think about it if there's someone that's bouncing from job to job. Obviously, there could be other situations that come into place, but I value people that have these long standing relationships with people, whether it's their employer or family, and that's super important to me to have all my friends have really important relationships in their life.

I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season. And yet, we're constantly discovering new secrets. The depths of them, the variety of them continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share ten incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly

necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. When I realized this is not just happening to me, this is who and what I am. I needed her to help me. Something was annoying at me that I couldn't put my finger on, that I just felt somehow that there was a piece missing. Why not restart? Look at all the things that were going wrong. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests

for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you'll get your podcasts. Hey, it's Debbie Brown. And my podcast deeply well is a soft place to land on your wellness journey. I hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness and mental health around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your journey.

From guided meditations to deep conversations with some of the world's most gifted experts in self-care, trauma, psychology, spirituality, astrology, and even intimacy. Here is where you'll pick up the tools to live as your highest self. Make better choices. Heal and have more joy. My work is rooted in advanced meditation, metaphysics, spiritual psychology, energy healing, and trauma-informed practices. I believe that the more we heal and grow within ourselves,

the more we are able to bring our creativity to life. And live our purpose, which leads to community impact and higher consciousness for all beings. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well is available now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen

to podcasts. Big love, Namaste. I am Mi'Allah and on my podcast, The R Spot, we're having inspirational, educational, and sometimes difficult and challenging conversations about relationships. They may not have the capacity to give you what you need, and insisting means that you are abusing yourself now. You human! That means that you're crazy as hell, just like the rest of us.

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the UK, select countries in the EU and Australia. I think that says a lot about you and the family because I wonder what it takes to hold on to a relationship like that when you're on a rocket ship, right? I feel like all of us deal with shifts in our life transitions and family and friends that we want to hold on to, but it gets harder and harder, especially when there's success, when there's envy, when there's competition. And sometimes it's not because someone doesn't love you, it doesn't care about you.

It's so natural in the world we live in. And so what does it really take? Because I think this will help a lot of people. What does it actually take to hold on to someone you love and continue with all the noise and all the challenges and all the stress that comes with it? What does it actually take? But then there's those friends that you don't have to talk to every day. I mean, thank God for group chats where you can chime in and heart something really quick,

you know? But like, your real best friends will also support you. And it takes that mutual respect because what my friends are doing if they have something that's important to them, it's just as important for me to show up for them as it is for them to show up for me. I might have a more colorful life and a bigger event that I'm asking them to show up to, but it doesn't mean that there isn't just as important. So I think just having that mutual respect, treating people with respect is just a given. I truly think someone is such a solid person when they have really grounded relationships,

grounded in love and relationships can be different things. Sometimes you have your group of girlfriends that you love to go on vacation with and then sometimes you have your other friends girlfriends that you love to go on vacation with, and then sometimes you have, you know, your other friends that you work really well with. Every relationship can be different. If you have just a mutual respect around the across the board, that's I think the number one thing.

Yeah, it takes two. It takes two. Totally. That's the point. You're not going to be able to create it or falsely hold onto it, someone who doesn't totally want to give you that respect. Yeah. It's not going to happen. Yeah.

You talked about earlier about parenting and you brought out a few times and I wonder how you've- You don't have kids, do you? I not yet. Okay. We'll have this conversation again. Yeah, absolutely. That's how I'm asking.

This is how I'm asking parenting questions. What was your vision like for what you thought parenting was going to be like versus what it actually is? Everyone says the days are long and the years are short and that couldn't be like a more true statement. So like when you're in it, I mean, especially when there are babies and you're feeding and you're there's madness going on, It's like full madness. It's the best chaos though. Like my mornings, you have no idea what's going on.

It's like, I always have to do one of my daughter's hair and it has to be perfect and it has to be a certain way. And then this one needs me to put his shoes on and they all need you. And they all, it's like full, crazy madness, cooking, running around, like's, it's wild. That's why I need my workout in the morning just to like prepare for the two hours of craziness. I'd say parenting is the thing that has taught me the most about myself.

It has been the most challenging thing. There are nights I crime myself to sleep like what just happened, you know, with all the moods and the personalities and sometimes they're fighting and there's no one there. Like it's me to play good cop and bad cop. So like that is definitely a challenge when, you know, something I'm working on is being a little bit firmer, you know, there is nothing that can prepare you. Anyone, any person that says, oh, we're waiting to have X amount of money in the bank. Oh, we're waiting to have a home before we have kids. Oh, I'm waiting for this job to come in before we have kids. I don't care how long you wait.

I don't care what you're waiting for. You are never prepared, but you will figure it out. And it will make you so proud of yourself that you figured it out and that you got through the day. And sometimes it's nights where it's just, we are going hour by hour to see if we're gonna survive. Night by night. If a tantrum comes in, oh my God,

your life is completely upside down. But it teaches you so much more about yourself than I think anyone, any parent could have ever anticipated. I mean, there is nights when you don't wash your hair for days as a mom and you have sped up all over you and you're wearing the same pajamas, you know, and there's just nothing that can prepare you for this experience. It is the most challenging, rewarding job on this planet. When was the moment when you were looking

into your baby's faces and? Said I wanna run away. I'm, I need to hide for a night every night. I'm just kidding. No, yeah, no, thank you. I mean, it's honest that I think there's a there's a little bit of truth in that feeling that a lot of parents have. What's what's the hardest when you've been looking when you look into their faces and you had one of these moments where you were learning these lessons? What was the hardest lesson you had to learn about yourself that made you go, whoa, I didn't, I didn't see that before. If it wasn't for that kid, I wouldn't have

seen that. Yeah, it happens all the time. I always think everything in life comes our way to really teach us something. And it's a really hard task when you have four kids and you know, they all want to be put to bed at the same time by the same person and they all want to do it individually and have that experience and no one wants to wait and I'm locked in a room with kids banging outside of the door because they want me to put them to bed and I'm like I can't cut myself in four pieces so we're going to have to schedule this out and we're coming up with a schedule and none of them want to listen to the schedule. And then they all start crying.

And that's like a typical night. And so I like, sit them outside of my one daughter's door. And I'm like, I'll pick you up next. We're doing this for 15 minutes. And they can't be patient. And they're banging on the door. Come on, it's been five minutes. It's like those nights are every single night.

Big school projects, big things that are happening and they don't understand that I work or I have a school schedule too or, you know, stuff kids will never understand. So I think it's just those nights when you can't divide yourself and you have to just work with what we have and try to bribe two of them to get put to bed at

the same time. You know, I think unless you're like so much respect to parents, so much respect to people also that aren't parents that want to live their free life. Enjoy it while you can't. I was at Easter on Palm Springs and I looked at my mom's house and she had her table set for all of her kids, all of her grandkids, and we're all staying in her house. And I was like, it's a forever thing. It's not like, hey, okay, you're 18 and you're on your own. It's a forever thing. And we're in our forties and we're still coming at her and fighting and asking my mom to resolve everything and I look at her and I'm like, how did you do it? I personally can't wait for my kids to get a little bit older. Everyone like is so afraid of the teenage phase. I'm so excited for it.

Play this back for me when they're teenagers. But I see the relationship I have with my mom and I knew the relationship I had with my dad and how comfortable we were talking to them about all of our problems and all of our friend's stuff and all of the drama and all of the high school stuff. And even the stuff I talked to my mom about now and how open I am about life and relationships and how close we are, even if we didn't get it as a kid, I can look at her now and say, I get it. As a mom now, as an adult now, I know why you made those decisions. And I love having that relationship. And that is why I wanted to have four kids. I saw my mom, you know, and my dad had four together before she had my two little sisters, and I loved the big family,

and I always knew I wanted to have four kids, and I just love so much our relationship with her and my grandma, and I just can't wait to have that with my kids. I can't wait till they're old enough to understand so much that I can never explain to them now that they'll get one day, and we can laugh about it. That's so beautiful. Yeah, you reminded me of a beautiful old saying

that says the day you realize your parents were right, your kids are telling you that you're wrong. So true. Yeah, and it's like that idea of just, when you're a little boy, you like adore your mom, at least I did them until like 13 years old. Then you become a teenager and you think you're too cool for your mom yeah and then in my 20s yeah I have like contracts with my sons I'm like you're never

gonna leave me we always have to be besties you're never gonna be too cool for me and they always say yes yeah I'm like you can live with me in your 20s your 30s never move out they said okay They've signed the contract. Yeah. And they've no idea. They'll breach it. Yeah. It'll be okay. Yeah, you won't sue them.

Yeah. But I wonder how in your position, like, you know, what you just described is what so many people go through. And like you said, it's so hard for them to experience that. But when you're explaining things like the paparazzi, you're like, you were saying that when you were in Japan, like, you didn't have that experience

and that was so nice for the kids. Like, how do you walk them through the nuances of the life that you lead? And I'm guessing a lot of their friends also have similar lives, but I'm sure they have some friends who don't have parents like yourselves. And so how do you help them reconcile

or what are the kind of things that you talk about with them or what can they understand at this age and what are you like? Well, that's just going to have to wait. I'll talk to my kids about anything they want to ask me about. I am so open and honest with my kids. I think that's the only way to be. And it could be things that they might not understand and I'll wait to find the appropriate

time to talk about it. I think they grew up seeing the cameras and they grew up seeing that, even as babies, we'd walk out and there'd be paparazzi, so it's not really something that they acknowledge a lot, but my daughter's really vocal, she'll tell them when she doesn't want them around and to leave her alone and to stop,

and I love that they use their little voices, but they also have such a normal life and such a different life away from all of that too. And that's why I love that my sisters and I all had babies at the same time so they can be with each other and have these experiences together. Absolutely. When I'm, you know, there's all the words that come out from you are like togetherness, loyalty.

It's incredible to see it in family, but I think what you've then done, which when I saw you do this, it really moved me when I saw you kind of move into that direction of justice for form and using your voice and training to be a lawyer to make these changes in the world out there. Because I find that, you know, there's, there's a natural sense of survival as a family. But then when you start taking into account the survival of others, there's an extension of love and, you know, what goes out to the world. And I think it was really special to see that this podcast is called on purpose for a reason because I think

everyone's searching for their purpose. Would you say that that was an expression of purpose or? Absolutely. I mean, I think that's one of those moments like by chance I happened to be looking on social media and seeing a case that I just didn't understand. And I'm always a really curious person. So I'll never let something go if it's weighing on my heart to not at least try to figure out

how it happened. I've always been really interested in crime stuff and solving things and figuring things out. So when I saw a case of a woman that just didn't make sense to me, I was really curious and I sent this little video that popped up on my Twitter to attorneys that I knew really well that could answer questions for me. And then when it seemed like I couldn't just sit there, it was really weighing on my heart when I felt like it was so unfair. I didn't know that there was like thousands of cases that were so unfair.

I just thought, oh wow, like I have to help this person. And then when I was successful in doing that on my journey, I realized like, wait, there's so many more people like this. Like I can't not do something. And I think that that also goes with whatever is meant to come to you at your own pace for your own learning levels is what's meant to be because that came to me. I wasn't like searching for that and that changed my life

and it changed who I am. I just can't sit around and see this happen to other people that aren't deserving of their freedom. I think just everyone's on their own path and things will come to you when you need to be elevated to that growth level. And I'm really grateful for those experiences because I definitely think that that's my purpose.

What internal changes did you see in yourself that maybe you didn't see before when you started doing this work? What did you have to grapple with internally? Was there anything that you had to break through inside? Yeah, what was those things? I would say I always felt like I was a compassionate person and a caring person.

And I always cared about people's feelings. But my level of empathy was at a completely different level when I started. I might have been way more judgmental and I would think that someone that was behind bars, especially for a really lengthy or a serious crime, that they probably were absolutely guilty. I had no compassion.

I was just really judgmental. And then when I started to hear about these cases and people's backstories and their histories and realize that so many people really didn't have the opportunities to be better and didn't know better, it really changed my whole life. And like my level of empathy is just so different than what it was years ago. And I think that's why I fight so hard for people to get second chances because people make really bad choices and really bad mistakes. Some way, way worse than other people. But if you're never given the chance to change, that's really sad, especially if you make

a really bad decision as a teenager and then you're in your 40s, and you're given no shot to change when you really already maybe have so much, it was really important to me to express that and help people that have made those changes. And I love how I'm assuming that when you do something like that in the outside space, it kind of applies to your whole life,

where all of a sudden you're so right that I think we all not even people behind bars. I think we all judge people all the time Yeah, and when you're almost doing it in such an extreme way and Raising your empathy in such an extreme environment. You can now extend that and express that to so many more people Yeah, because you've had to do it in a way where you will like, oh, definitely, that person deserves it. And all of a sudden you start realizing, maybe they didn't deserve that. And so maybe we don't deserve this. I think, you know.

But in all levels of life of judgment, I used to judge people in like their relationships and how people lived their lives. And now I'm like, whatever makes you happy, why should we judge? Who are we to say how people should live their lives? My judgment is just, I don't know if it comes with age or experience or just going through so many things,

but just be happy, you know? Isn't that what life is about? Experiences, making people feel heard and seen and appreciated and just having gratitude for the things in life that we're so blessed to have and work for and for surrounded by the people we love, we are, that's real success. Yeah. I agree. And I feel that a lot of people start getting better at that with the judgment outside, but one of the things that people struggle to deal with the most is the judgment in their head. And I wonder, do you find that

you ever catch yourself judging yourself and being hard on yourself and being heavy and harsh on yourself? You've been able to give that up. I'll be like competitive with myself. I think I'm a really competitive person, but I'm pretty, I'm pretty easy on myself. Wow, that's incredible. I was always like really calm, really easygoing. That's a really achievement. Yeah. And I'm sure you see people judging themselves all the time. Yeah. I was grabbing some coffees for my team a couple of months back or something. And I remember like I was paying the cashier and she gave me the change and I was grabbing the change

and walking off and she was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid, I got the change wrong. And I was like, I didn't even notice and I looked and I was like, oh, okay, like I was like, you're not stupid, like easy mistaken. You could see the look on her face, like she was judging herself so harshly for something

so small. And I guess when you see people judge themselves then, how do you respond to that or how do you support them? Honestly, I really haven't experienced that much. That's fantastic. That's amazing. And I love hearing that because I think it is so true that you can curate and create a community around you that has similar values.

And then almost you don't even... I see a lot of like determination and a lot of like creativity, a lot of hard work. Like if I were to go on vacation with my girlfriends, we'd all be getting up probably at 6am, all want to go on a workout. I don't think there's that one girl that would be like, I'm sleeping till 10 and I'm not working out, you know? So I think that obviously everyone around you is different and has different personalities, but I think a lot of my core friends are really like minded.

Yeah, and sometimes that positive peer pressure can be really healthy too. Like, even if you have that one friend who's struggling, as soon as you're added to that group, you see the melloway, I've seen that with so many of my friends, that even if there's one person who's struggling with something, as soon as they're in that pack, all of a sudden you start to see them break through their ceiling.

And it changes for them. Yeah, I think something that I've learned, maybe the hard way, because I feel like I'm at a really good place now where the people in my life I feel really solid. I think this is the first time in my life. Obviously I've had really long relationships with my girlfriends and friends since elementary school, but something I learned is that you cannot help people that don't want the help

and don't, you can't force your beliefs and project that on someone that thinks something totally different. And it's okay to have those different views. It's why the world goes round, you know? But if you don't align in the same values and morals and things at your core, then it's okay to realize that this

life is so short and you should go and find the people that do align with what you really believe in. And I think sometimes there's so much going on that you can be blinded by so many other things that if you don't stop and think about what someone's true values and morals are and how they want to live their life, so much other things are going on, so I don't blame people that don't really stop and think about those things. I mean, those are some of the lessons that I would teach my kids when they're looking for friends and partners and relationships. Yeah, you can't really force things upon other people.

You can't expect them to be where you're at at your level. And sometimes that could really coexist really well, but then sometimes it really can't. You have to let go of the idea of molding people into what you want. Think about, if there's something about yourself that you really want to change. The expectations of going into something and thinking you're going to get a different result or thinking you have the power to change someone is so selfish

and so crazy and everyone does it and everyone has to learn on their own. And that's something that I've always like sat back, helped friends, given them advice, but never really pushed because even if I were to say, Hey, don't walk down that path. Trust me. I've been there. You don't want to go there. And they say, Okay, and they follow you and they go on a different path. They'll never learn that lesson. They have no clue what I'm talking about. You know, I could say parenting stuff to you all day long. With all due respect, you have no clue until you've been through it. I welcome people's journeys and their lessons, and I'll always be there to the people that I love to help them through that, but they got to go

through that in order to grow on their own. What's the biggest lesson you learned from your mom that you try to pass on to the kids? I think just how she makes people feel, really heard and welcomed. She really is the most warm, welcoming person. And it's just like her overall, it seems superficial, but it's not like her party planning skills. It's not even that. It's just the welcomingness of, I don't even know if these are words, I'm saying. Just her ability to be so warm and to make everyone feel like they were invited here, I'm going to create this like special Easter dinner with like the things on the table, you know, that she had when we were

growing up at my dad's house, like she just has all this like really special nostalgic stuff around all the time and always tries to make everyone feel so special, but with like a gathering so that everyone feels comfortable and can hang around. Like she just loves people in her space and loves to create these memories. And I think that we all got that from her and we will all these memories. And I think that we all got that from her. And we will all, if I can just pass that on to my kids, just the experiences that we have as a family, whether we're just sitting in our pajamas

and hanging out, we make the time to be together. And I hope that my kids want to make the time to be together when they grow up with their cousins and their aunts and just the whole family. I'm sure they will. In the 1680s, a feisty opera singer burned down a nunnery and stole away with her secret lover. In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans.

What do these stories have in common? They're all about real women who were left out of your history books. If you're tired of missing out, check out the Womanica podcast, a daily women's history podcast highlighting women you may not have heard of but definitely should know about. I'm your host Jenny Kaplan, and for me, diving into these stories is the best part of my day. I learned something new about women from around the world and leafyling amazed, inspired, and sometimes shocked.

Listen on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Eva Longoria. I'm Mike DeGolmes-Rachon. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast, Hungry For History. On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs,

and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home. Corner flower. Both. Oh, you can't decide. I can't decide. I love both. You know, I'm a flower tortilla flower. Your team flower?

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to keep it warm, and he was transporting them in a burro hence the name the burritos. Listen to Hungary for history with Ivalangoria and Maite Gomez Rejón as part of the Mycultura podcast network available on the I Heart Radio App, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart.

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the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, I think they will tell. Yeah, I think you've managed to hold onto it in your entire generation. And so they see that. I think kids mirror so much of what they see around them. And I remember when I met my wife, how grandma is her favorite human on the planet. And it's really interesting how when someone you love, you know who their favorite human is. Yeah.

You automatically start loving them. Yeah. And I wasn't really close to my grandparents, but I'm closer to Raleigh's grandma than my own grandparents, because you see your love the person that you love. And so I think when your kids see the love that you have for your sisters and your cousins

and your aunts and uncles and her. Now if only all my kids can love their siblings that would be amazing. They're in a fighting phase. Yeah. Yeah. And you guys went through that phase and you're like, yeah, oh my god. It's still going on. Yeah, still going on.

Yeah. Never ending. That's never going to stop. Kim, I feel like you travel so much. You have so many businesses. You're now going to be on a TV show. Like another TV show. I mean, you've got so much things happening in your life.

And I'm sure there's moments where whether the kids say something or don't, I know a lot of people in my life feel a lot of mom guilt. And mom's carry it with them. Have you experienced that with your friends, your family? Absolutely. Mom guilt is probably the hardest thing.

I think that you have to also separate though and understand that you need your own bit of sanity. So you have to do what makes you happy. You have to. If working for me, I love working. So that makes me happy. Anytime I think something's really hard, I dive into work.

Or if there's challenges, like I love to dive into my work. And that's like a bit of my therapy and my routine to keep me going. But I think, you know, I have chats with my girlfriends when our kids are having tantrums and there could be things going on that we don't even know about. And you feel like you're the worst mom

if something's going on. And you can't fix it. You have no idea how to change it. Your kids are fighting. Whatever it is. And my friends and I will text each other and be like, in tears, literally, locking ourselves in the room like away

from a kid having a tantrum when that's not what you should do. You should go and lean into them. But sometimes it's so overwhelming that was probably the only time I'd be hard on myself. Is am I a good mom? I try to do everything. And I think how to balance work with that is when you're home being really present. Kids all they want is time. They just want your time. You can give them all these amazing big experiences and they'll remember them and they're great, but they'll always remember you being present.

And I think that's just the most important thing in all of your relationships. Think about what a kid wants. A kid just wants your time. So why wouldn't everyone else? You have to kind of treat everyone like that if you want these like meaningful relationships in your life and you have to be present. And it's okay to feel like you are not 100% at

being the best mom. I say this all the time, there's no manual, they do not come with the manual, everyone's doing the best that they can. And I just feel so lucky that I have a good group of girlfriends and all of our kids are experiencing different things from, I mean, imagine on the things that they, a divorce, everything that they have to go through,

we're okay, they will be okay. And they will feel the love and support and that's all you can do. It'll be okay. And I'm sure that's hard for you because you were saying that you're so competitive with yourself. If you want to be the best at everything. Yeah. But I feel like being the best mom must be the hardest thing to ever live up to.

Absolutely. And I'm very confident. So every year, I write each one of my kids about a four or five page letter about on their birthday, about what the year was like, who their friends are, silly words they're saying, their favorite foods, all the silly things that they do, and a little journey of what the year is like. And it's so fun to see from the first year. Now, you know, one of them almost 10 years old. And just to, I know that they'll appreciate this. I know that they'll appreciate everything that they might have thought. I was being a little harsh on me protecting them. I know that they'll get it because I got it with my mom and I know they'll get it with me. You've reminded me of something beautiful that I want to share that

so my mom and dad were both immigrants in London, which is where I was born and raised and both my parents worked ever since I was a kid. And so I'd get dropped to daycare, get picked up in the evening. But what I remember is something you said, my mom would come and pick me up. And I still remember that look on her face when she'd pick me up, she'd have this big smile, she'd give me the biggest hug, she'd take me home, and we'd sit down together while she was cooking and we'd just talk to each other.

And it's almost like, I never had a lot of time with my parents growing up, but I felt so much presence. And I honestly believe today that I have so much love to give because my mom infuse me with love. Like my mom just like, you know, bathed me in so much love. Totally. That it's so easy for me to be loving because I've always had infinite amounts of it for my mom. That's the best. I couldn't imagine. I love on my kids so hard. They are so annoyed with me. And I love it.

What I find genuinely inspiring about you and the way you think and focus is that you want to be this incredible mom, but you also want to show the kids what a passionate purpose driven person looks like. And I think we forget that that's also parenting. I'm not a parent, but I can honestly say it that when I saw my mom working late a night and waking up early in the morning, I look back at my mom and I think my mom is a super woman. Yeah.

And I look back at that as inspiration. I think my kids think that only one day. They will, they will because they'll see that. And I think same with my dad, like I saw my dad and how much he had to work. Yeah. And there was something powerful about that. I think I always like to show them like I dropped my dad and how much he had to work. And there was something powerful about that. I think I always like to show them, like I dropped my kids off at school,

and then I have two or three hours of law school. So I gotta go. I'm on time because I have my school and they have been on the journey with me. They saw me take the bar exam. They saw me open my results and not pass multiple times. They saw me open up the results and pass. And I was crying and they felt my hard work and it paid off.

I want to show them that finding a passion and working to me is something I love to do. And there's so much joy in that for me. And I want them to feel that positive experience. And I encourage that from them. Like, I want to just show them as many positive experiences as I can and show them that, you know, you can work hard and you can love it.

And I just try to live my life and be a good example for them. I think it comes through. And I do believe that, like, when I look back at my parents, all I can do is appreciate my mom. Yeah, all I can do I hope they do Sometimes they tell me I'm the meanest mom in the world because I won't buy them roadblocks every day You know, it's like I'm like it's okay. I could be the meanest mom in the world. Yeah, you know I think that's what mom's doing mom's willing to be anything that kids need them to be even if it's that for a short period of time Yeah, Kim you've been so gracious and kind with your time today.

We end every on purpose episode with a final five. The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever received or heard? Something that I've learned about time is just that we never have enough of time. So really be present and make the most of your relationships because we're not here very long. And we have one life. Was there a moment that made you realize that or something that happened that made you realize that? I mean, I think when you lose a parent,

you're always really mindful of time. And my mom talks about it all the time, I think she's like probably the one thing in life she's scared about, you know, and keeps her up at night sometimes, so just making sure that you make the most of everything because it'll go by so fast. Second question, what is the worst life advice you've ever received or had? I think maybe the worst advice could be almost too much advice or too many opinions. If you really trust your gut and you do what you want to do, and if you're in your bubble, and when the world gets to that little piece of your bubble and there can be so many opinions, I think sometimes all of the conflicting advice can just be bad

advice. That even if you're supposed to make your mistake and maybe do what you want to do with any bad piece of advice, that's still a part of your journey. So sometimes just do what you want to do and not take in all of the advice is really healthy. I think that's great. And don't ask for it in the first place. Yeah. Yeah. I know. We all have that one friend who messages like 25 people with the same question. Totally. Yeah. Definitely. Good answer. All right. Question number three, if tomorrow not wishing there's no intentions, no energy towards this, but if tomorrow you had to restart, what would you do?

If tomorrow everything went away and you had to restart, what would you do business wise? How would that shift? I think I would probably be a lawyer and just focus on that and go to law school and focus on being an attorney full time. Because? and go to law school and focus on being an attorney full time. Because I just think the feeling of being able to help people is really powerful and necessary. And I would just focus on that. That's such a hot feeling. I'm glad I asked you.

Yeah, I just feel like it's really really interesting I was having a conversation last night with the mutual friends of our school of Ron and we were together last night and we were talking about this idea about how we often think that our experiences make us who we are or is it that you are just going to be who you are anyway because that's who you were meant to be. I think it's both. Yeah. Think about it.

You can be the most talented person, but if you don't have that determination and drive then what will become of it, you know, it's not just going to magically happen because you're talented. Of course. So I think so much of it is the effort and what you do with that and figuring that out and who you are and what you want to put out in the world. I guess my point is that I think you have that energy of wanting to be the best, of wanting to do things really well, of wanting to do things with that quality and whatever you ended

up doing with it, it would have been that. And it is that already. And I think in life, you have to, no matter, even if this isn't the job that you want, no matter what it is that you're doing, you have to be fully your best, you have to, no matter, even if this isn't the job that you want, no matter what it is that you're doing, you have to be fully your best, you have to put in 200%. You have no idea who's paying attention. You're at that place exactly where you're supposed to be at that time. There's nothing worse than someone that doesn't want to give it their all, no matter what

it is. And it could be, that's like, you know, business advice that I heard that always stuck with me and always was, even when I was working at a clothing store, I was so happy to be there. I did my, yeah, I did my absolute best that I could, selling everything and steaming everything and hanging everything. And I think those experiences just show you what you want to do in your life, show other people really what you're made of. I'm just like a, I'm a really competitive person so no matter what it is that I'm doing, I want to be the best at that. I want to learn everything about it and I'm just a super curious person. Beautiful. Question number four things we've been talking about values.

What's something that you used to value that you no longer feel you value anymore? Definitely material designer things. I used to value, I mean, stuff. I live in an area where there would be fires a lot. And there was probably four times we had to fully pack up the house. Everything out, houses catching on fire, property caught on fire, like really close to losing everything. First time packed up my entire shoe and bag closet. And a lot of them because they were memory stuff from my dad, stuff in high school, but all designer stuff. Also videos, photos, whatever, digitized everything,

put everything important somewhere else. Second, pack up the designer stuff, but leave some, leave some of the clothes, you know, I don't really need all the clothes. But I packed a hotel for months, bags, and every designer thing that I had had to come. Third time, leave all the bags and shoes. I don't need them. We got all the photos. We got all the, my little blankie when I was little. You know, the kid stuff. Fourth time, leave everything.

Me and my babies. That's all I need. You know, I have all my photos digitized, I have everything digital. We got our passports, we're good. And that like evolution of like, they had to go in and get all my designer stuff, or I'm not leaving my house, you know, it's going to catch on fire. And now I'm like, nothing is worth it. Nothing is important. And I think that comes from life experiences, scary experiences, things shaking you to your core to make you realize that nothing is important. You can't, I know everyone says this, but like you can't take it with you. None of it is important. Yeah, there's a beautiful Islamic proverb that says, detachment doesn't mean that

you own nothing. It means that nothing owns you. And I feel so often we become owned by our dreams, our desires, our pursuits, our things. It doesn't mean that we have to give them all away or we don't have those things. It's just if and when we have to let go, we're willing, are we able to let go? Totally. Even with work stuff, I mean, it doesn't just have to be the material things. Like you said, like your dreams and it's okay to be able to let go, but work so hard to, like, the opposites are okay, contradicting yourself a little bit in those ways.

You know, it's like in relationships, you can love a person, miss a person so much, but still have the wisdom to know they're not your person and you're better off not together. That like opposite connection with everything, I think is really important to have that awareness in everything in life, relationships, material things, all of that. Yeah, I officiated a wedding a few years ago and someone came up to me from the audience and said to me, Jay, I realized from what you were saying that they just gone through a breakup recently and they were saying, Jay, I realized that I loved that person, but we didn't like each other anymore. And it was that essence of like, they'll always be that deep love for each other.

Yeah. But we just don't like family, you know, like you love people and Like family, you know, like you love people and but it's okay to feel a protection of a person but then also protecting yourself and realizing when you have to and when it's time and it's okay to feel all of the opposite emotions, you know, I think as long as you're really well aware and go through the motions and feel things and don't hold things in It's so important whether it's you know breakups deaths I've always been really clear-headed and Like gone through the feelings gone through the emotions more in those relationships more in those life-long Relationships that you hope for, and then also be okay and calm and realizing, I've always been someone like, okay, my dad died.

What, why is this happening? What was his purpose here? And how are we going to grow and learn from this experience? And I always said that, like, right when he passed. And I was felt it and super emotional about it. And, you know, cry all the time when great things happen that I wish he was here. But also, I had a wisdom at like a younger age to understand that this is like a part of our journey and a part of our like evolution

and this happens. And this is why you have to hold on to relationships even more precious, but don't let things destroy you at the same time. If that makes sense. Yeah, it does make sense. I can tell just for your energy, like I just want everyone to know is listening and watching. Often people can say something, but the time I've spent with you, even today, I can tell from the energy that you are content and you are peace. I'm so pleased. I can feel that just, yeah, peace. That's what I'm with you.

I sense peace. And I think doing an interview with someone, just it's a different environment that you, I remember when I interviewed Kobe Bryant and I almost felt like time stood still and his word that I saw with his energy was gravity. I could just felt like everything was just and then when I'm sitting with you, I'm feeling peace. And a lot of the time people try to find people when they're not at peace, hoping that someone else will put their pieces back together, you are at peace. Do you ever feel like you want to be in love again? Do you long for that or are you so at peace that that isn't a consideration? I think I'll always be a hopeless romantic and always want to be in love and definitely love

sharing my life with someone and love creating a life with someone. I definitely will take my time and I think there's so many factors, especially when you have kids and being mindful of people that enter in your life and if I can look at everything that I did wrong and try to not make the same mistakes and really take my time.

I think it just has to be different for me. You know, it's obviously such a hard place to be in because how do you go about? Who do you, you know, it's like, so there's so many factors, but I'll always believe in love and I'll always want that. And I think that's such a magical part of life. But I think I'm so comfortable taking my time

to not rush it. There's so much going on that I'm not lonely. And I think that that is really important. And I believe, like I always believe, you know, and I think that whatever is meant to be will be. Fifth and final question of the whole interview. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

Take it time. That's a good one. Just second chances and fairness. I think it could be something as simple as just whether it's in our system or judgment in life, just making sure that everyone had like a basic human right to what's fair. I think we change a lot in the system, we change a lot in life, and a law for everyone to be kind. It's that simple. You think about like all I want to do is raise kind, thoughtful, grateful, mindful, human beings.

Kim, thank you for being so open, so honest, so generous with your time. Everyone has been listening and watching. I hope you tag us on Instagram, on TikTok, wherever you share your insights that you gained. I'd love to see what you took away from this podcast. I'd love to share that with both of us. Thank you for listening to On Purpose. I'll see you again next week. And Kim, thank you so much again for this energy of yours today and being so present with us. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you. If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion. My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears,

the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I just wanna keep doing that. When my daughter went off to hop trains, I was terrified I'd never see her again, so I followed her into the train yard. This is what it sounds like inside the box cart. And into the city of the rails, there I found a surprising world, so brutal and beautiful that it changed me, but the rails do that to everyone.

There is another world out there, and if you want to play with the devil, you're going to find them down in the rail yard. Undenail Morton, come with me to find out what waits for us in the city of the rails. Listen to the city of the rails, on the IRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Or, cityoftherails.com. Regardless of the progress you've made in life, I believe we could all benefit from wisdom on handling common problems, making life seem more manageable, now more than ever.

I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the One-D-Feet podcast, where I interview thought-provoking guests who offer practical wisdom that you can use to create the life you want. 25 years ago, I was homeless and addicted to heroin. I've made my way through addiction recovery, learned to navigate my clinical depression, and figured out how to build a fulfilling life. The One-You-Feet has over 30 million downloads and was named one of the best podcasts by Apple Podcasts. Oprah Magazine named this is one of 22 podcasts to help you live your best life. You always have the chance to begin again and feed the best of yourself.

The trap is the person often thinks they'll act once they feel better. It's actually the other way around. I have had over 500 conversations with world-renowned experts and yet I'm still striving to be better. Join me on this journey. Listen to the one you feed on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Louis Hamilton, and many, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw, real-life stories behind their journeys

and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Join the journey soon.