On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Lewis Howes ON: How To Embrace Your Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships & Live A Full Authentic Life

Episode Date: August 31, 2020

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.In this episode of On Purpose, lifestyle entrepreneur and former professional football player Lewis Howes talks with Jay Shetty about his traumatic past, relationships, facing fears, and living with no regrets.Are you searching for inspiration on how to face adversity or conquer your biggest fears? If you desire to keep learning and growing to find the best in yourself, tune in to hear Lewis Howes share all of these tips and more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Neum, I'm a journalist, a wanderer, and a bit of a bond-vivant, but mostly a human just trying to figure out what it's all about. And not lost is my new podcast about all those things. It's a travel show where each week I go with a friend to a new place and to really understand it, I try to get invited to a local's house for dinner. Where kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party. It doesn't always work out. Ooh, I have to get back to you. Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Getting better with money is a great goal for 2023. But how are you going to make it happen?

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You can listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I am Miyaan Levan Zant, and I'll be your host for The R Spot. Each week listeners will call me live to discuss their relationship issues. Nothing will tear a relationship down faster than two people with no vision. There's y'all are just flopping around like fish out of water. Mommy, daddy, your ex, I'll be talking about those things and so much more. Check out the R-Spot on the iHeart video app Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts.

The healthiest relationship I've ever been in, now tell you why. She's the woman of my dreams. Yet if we broke up tomorrow, I'd be okay. Because I'm such a piece knowing that this is happening for me and she's in my life for a reason right now and hopefully it lasts a long time. But if it doesn't for whatever reason, we weren't supposed to force it.

Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. I love that you come back every single week to listen, learn and to grow. And I am so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love, is out. And I cannot wait to share it with you. I am so, so excited for you to read this book. For you to listen to this book, I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to eight rules of love.com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour, Love Rules.

Go to jsheddytour.com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait to see you this year. And you know that I'm always trying to connect with incredible guests, incredible minds that can share insights to transform our lives. Now today's guest is probably one of my closest friends. I am so excited to sit down with him

because it's his first appearance on the show. I've been grateful to be a guest on his podcast twice the School of of greatness. But this is the episode where we're going to dive into his extraordinary life, extraordinary mind and how he's created an extraordinary world of making an impact, making a difference and making people find their own greatness. So for those of you who don't know or need a reminder, Lewis House is a New York Times best selling author of the hit book, The School of Greatness. And his latest book, The Mask of Masculinity.

He's a lifestyle entrepreneur, high performance business coach and keynote speaker, a former professional football player and two-spore all-American. He is a current USA men's national handball team athlete. He hosts a top 100 iTunes ranked Apple Podcast, the School of Greatness, which is over 250 million downloads, and over 900 night episodes coming now to the thousand episode. Lewis was recognized by the White House and President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30. Details magazine called him one of five

internet gurus that can make you rich. And this part, Lewis is a contributing writer for entrepreneur and has been featured on Ellen. Good morning America, the today show, the New York Times, people, Forbes, Fast Company, and so many more. His interview style is probably one of my favorite. He's had some incredible guests on the show. And today we get to dive into his mind. style is probably one of my favorite. He's had some incredible guests on the show. And today we get to dive into his mind. None other than one of my favorite people in the world. Lewis, how? Amen. Let's go. Dude, I am excited, man. Literally. This is like, I've been talking about this for years. It's like, we got to get together more and do more stuff together on audio. So I'm pumped, man. I've been looking forward to this for so long because I think the last time I interviewed you

was the first day we met. It was October 31st. I believe it was Halloween. Yes. 2017. Yes. And you were still pretty unknown. I think you had maybe a hundred thousand,

200,000 fans on Facebook. You were doing a video week. No one really knew who you were. But I remember seeing your stuff as I got pitched to go on the show, and I was like, let me research this guy a little more. I was really inspired. I was just like, you've got it.

I was like, you're gonna be massive. I didn't know you'd be this big, this quickly, but I was like, you're gonna crush the world, and it's been amazing to watch, man. Dude, I was such a fan when I reached out to you, and I was such a fan of so many people in the industry and what was happening, and what I loved about you is that as soon as I reached out to you,

I heard back, we'd booked you to do a show at NASDAQ. So I used to do a show called NASDAQ Reads and interview people there. And you reached out, and then this is the amazing thing about Lewis that I want people to realize, and it's good that he gave you the context of where I was in my career. So we do this interview and it's the day of his book line, right?

This book, this beautiful book here, the Moscow masculinity. And he's doing it and I interview him about it and it's fascinating. It's a brilliant book which we'll dive into. And Lewis goes, do you want to spend the rest of the day with me? And I'm like, this guy's got a book line. And he's asking me in New York City whether I want to spend the rest of the day with me? And I'm like, this guy's got a book loan. And he's asking me in New York City whether I want to spend the rest of the day with him. I was like, cancel everything on your schedule.

Let's hang out, let's walk around the park. And I did. And I literally canceled my whole day. And we spent the day together and we became instant friends. And then I think I met you once in LA before I was moving here, which before I even knew I was moving here. And you know, you were the one of the big reasons

where you were just like, no, you should move. You should definitely move to come across. And yeah, man, you've just, I think we managed to see each other every month. We tried, yeah, maybe there was a couple months didn't but COVID definitely slowed us down. Yeah, almost every month we see each other talk, do something together in the last three years.

Yeah, but I, it's fun, man. Your journey has been unbelievablevable to see how, and this is what people need to know is like, even if you've been working for 10 years on something, because you've been working on your craft for a decade as a monk and then just teaching in schools and then corporate life and then Huff Poe, like you've been working behind the scene for 10 years,

it can take a few pieces of content or one piece of content that will be the thing that sets you off with momentum, someone like Rachel Hollis. She spent 10 years writing books and doing events with a few hundred people, Max, and then one piece of content, a book, launched her. And you had these videos that just they all launched, and it took you to another level. So in this book, you have now coming out. It's going to be a game changer.

I was just reading through it again before I got here. And I was just like, there's so much great information in this, but it's wisdom from the years of practice and years of experience. So that's what I think people need to know is like, if you're a creator, if you're someone who's got a gift inside, how it takes is one piece of content for you to really pop. So just keep creating. And that's what you've done beautifully.

You keep showing up. Thank you, man. And today I want to go back into your journey because we've known each other for some time and I know parts of your story, but I really want my community and audience today to realize everything you've been through that has made you who you are today because you've been through that has made you who you are today, because

you've been through some incredible transformations and transitions in life. Still doing it, man. Every day, I got to grow a transition, man. But let's take it right back to the beginning, because I think that there was, obviously, when you took out the mask of masculinity and you started talking more about your childhood and experiences you'd been through that had formed your life today. And you started to get this courage

to be able to share it, which took so much vulnerability and humility and so much from you. Yeah. Tell us about how that and coming to grips with that opened up more growth in your life. Well, I think we all have some type of trauma that we've dealt with, whether it may be neglect,

or baniments, sexual abuse, emotional trauma, something, or someone just said something to us that we felt like we've held onto for decades, that we can't forget, some kid, a friend, a parent that said something to us. And so I don't want to minimize or maximize anyone's trauma because everyone has their own stuff they've been through. Personally, I grew up in a small town in Delaware, Ohio,

which is as middle America as it can get. And my third memory is being raped by a man. So I have very few memories from my childhood before five. But when I was five years old, I was raped by a man. He was probably 16 or 17 year old guy who was the son of a babysitter that I would go to after kindergarten. My mom was working, my dad was working. I was the youngest of four.

And so they were always working till later at night. So I would go to babysitters every day and that was one of my first memories is this experience. Except for 25 years, I never told anyone because I was so ashamed that if people actually knew this about me, they would not love me. They would not like me,

no one would be my friend. They would look down on me, all this stuff. I would be less than a human. If they actually knew that I was sexually abused. And I think there was a lot of the conditioning of just growing up in the 80s and 90s, especially in Ohio and I think in the Midwest in general. Not everyone had this, but I think where I grew up, I wasn't allowed to put my arm around a buddy of mine. You know, when we hang out, it's like, we hug each other. I pick you up. We put our arm around. I know you jump on me. I love it. But that wasn't acceptable as a kid growing up

for me. Like I wanted to put my arm around people and like hug my friends, but in school, they would push me off and call me names. Don't be a little girl, don't be gay, don't be this, don't be that, like it wasn't cool to be affectionate, even in a non-sexual friendship way. And so when I saw that, I was 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

that other boys didn't accept me for putting my arm around them as a friend. I was like, if they actually knew about me, what I've gone through, they would reject me from society, it was kind of the story I told myself. And I also just didn't have examples of, I was in sports and I never saw athletes opening up about sexual abuse. I just never, ever saw it.

I never saw I'm opening up about mental health issues, which was what was happening. Now, more doing that, but as a kid, I never saw that model. So I just said, okay, I got to act like this didn't happen. I got to be as tough as I can so no one can hurt me again. I have to be as big and strong as possible to make sure that no one ever abuses me again. And that was kind of the story of my life for 25 years. My brother then went to prison when I was eight until I was 12. He got cut up in the Warren drugs in America in the nineties for selling drugs to an undercover cop.

So in a small town, there wasn't a lot of people in the neighborhood whose kids went to prison that I knew of. He was the only one. And on my block, everyone knew that my brother was in prison. So that meant the other parents wouldn't let their kids hang out with me for four and a half years, essentially. So now I have this time where I'm not hanging out with people.

I'm essentially trying, I remember one time I had to spend money to hang out with a couple of kids who had a club in their basement. They had like this little private club. And I had to either answer a couple of questions that they asked me, and if I got it right, I could be in the friend club where I had to little private club, and I had to either answer a couple of questions that they asked me, and if I got it right, I could be in the friend club where I had to give them money.

And they asked me a couple of questions, which I still don't know the answers to today. And I remember feeling like, okay, I'm so dumb, that because I'm not smart, people don't wanna hang out with me. And I went home and begged my mom for money. She put it in a little shoe box, all the change she had to give them

so I could hang out with them. And I remember after that day spending that time with them, I was like, I felt really low. I felt really sad and depressed. I was like, man, I'm just like a nothing. Like no one cares about me. If I have to pay money to have friends, how horrible of a human being am I.

I think those moments like really shaped me. And I said, I'd rather be like isolated in a loan than being around people that don't care if I'm like, you know, that I'm so dumb that I don't wanna hang out with me or if I can't provide them with money. I was like, I'd rather be alone. So I spent a lot of time alone observing people and dealing with my own insecurities for

pretty much throughout my teens. And I really like, like, at my life in four phases, like preteen, teen to 22, my 20s, and then 30 to now, it's just 37, it's been kind of like four phases, which has been very confusing up to the last seven years. And it wasn't until I finally opened up about sexual trauma and sharing it out loud.

First with a small group of people, then with my family and friends, then to my platform into the world, it's still the most downloaded thing I've ever shared out on my podcast. It's still something I get every week from people where they're sharing in about how they're opening up for the first time

because I didn't have a model growing up. And I felt like once I started to share my shame about sexual trauma, it no longer had power over me. It took some time to heal, but it no longer became a thing that crippled me and made me insecure. It's kind of like you know, an eight mile where he's like, this happened to me and they cheated on my girl and this and I shot myself and whatever.

It's like, once I started to share a lot of vulnerable things that I didn't want anyone to know about me, then I learned who my real family, who my real friends were, and I could start to fall in love with myself more. And I don't think I ever loved myself fully. I loved the mask that I wore. I love that I'm a jock, that I'm an athlete,

that I'm successful in business, but I didn't love the inside. And I think it's a hard life to live if we don't learn how to love ourselves. So that's been the journey. And I was also in the special needs classes. I almost flunked out of English senior year. So it's just a challenging,

I just remember, remember, really happy times growing up because I never learned how to love myself. You have great videos that say, you know, they teach us how to memorize things in school, but they don't teach us how to deal with failure. They don't teach us how to deal with a broken heart. You know, those are the things that I struggle with the most. Like I was always failing in school. I had no girls like to me. You know, those are the things that I struggle with the most. Like, I was always failing in school.

I had no girls like me. You know, it's always heartbroken, all this stuff. And I didn't know how to lose gracefully because my whole identity was tied around winning and getting acceptance from people when I won in sports. So when I broke a record, it was like, people acknowledged me and they saw me for the first time because I had a talent, whereas I never felt seen as a kid.

You know, my parents saw me and they were there for me, but the story I said is people don't care about me, even when they did. And I think I just never learned the skill of loving myself until seven years ago, really, the process. And if people could fully love themselves and be proud of themselves, there'd just be a lot less mental and emotional suffering. So that's been kind of the journey in a nutshell. I mean, that's phenomenal, man.

Like, it's, you know, when I know you as you now, over the last three years, you have one of the most kindest hearts I know, you're one of the most open and loving people I know, you're without a doubt one of the most generous people I know. And to me, it's like, I can't ever imagine you not being those things because you do it so effortlessly in one sense. It can appear that way. So if I would have met you 10 years ago, I probably wouldn't even recognize it, right?

It's like you're a completely different person, but I didn't see that life. I've seen only the last three years of you being like this incredible source of wisdom for the world that's gone viral and a great heart and a thoughtful mind. But I think a lot of us go through these challenges. Yeah. And we're in the public, so we I think a lot of us go through these challenges. Yeah.

And we're in the public, so we're talking a lot about our life. And so it can be very scary if we haven't accepted ourselves to then say, this is who I am. I know Michelle Obama talked about mild depression, I think was a couple days ago, or recently, based on this podcast comes out, where she's like, I'm struggling. And

she shared it publicly for the first time, which I think is really courageous. But when people in the public eye, it's almost like we're forced to tear down our mass and our walls. Otherwise, we're being authentic to ourselves if we're only putting out this perfect image. And for years, I put out a perfect image or this ideal of like who I wanted to be in the world. And I was afraid of what if people really saw who I was, they would never accept me. Kind of like when I was a kid, they truly knew what happened. I wouldn't have friends. And again, when I and I realized like at 30 enough was enough, I was dealing with so much inner suffering. On the outside,

everything looked great, making great money, sold a business for seven figures, you know, had girls that were interested in me. I had cool stuff. I was playing sports. People were admiring what I was accomplishing the outside, but I was never proud of who I was in the inside and what I was afraid of. I had such deep insecurity that if anyone knew who I was, no one would ever love me. And I think once I got to a place of fully accepting myself, starting a healing journey

and sharing it with people and realizing, I'm not dead, like I'm not gonna die here and people still love me and people still care about me. Even more they like me, because I'm being more real, it creates a deeper connection. And that's when I started to realize, like oh, there's this thing called vulnerability that is actually probably the biggest superpower

in the world that most people don't use. And that's kind of all I've just done. It's just been more and more open, more and more real. And it's still hard, you know, it's like, it's still hard to do sometimes, but I feel like it's the only way. And there are certain things I'm not saying, you should just publicly talk about everything

of your fears and your insecurities. I think it was a time and place for everything. I just felt like a responsibility seven years ago to open up about these things because I didn't see another model. I didn't see another, you know, jock white man opening up about stuff. And now when I see guys like Kevin Love

talking about having mental breakdowns on the court and actually writing articles and speaking, being an advocate for this, I'm like, great, now there's more athletes that look like him who might feel comfortable opening up at 10 at 12 at 14. I saw a young NBA player Forginius name recently like shaved his head on Instagram and said he's Doing this and he feels free because he was sexually abused over and over as a kid I think he's a rookie NBA basketball player and I'm, this is amazing that someone's posting this on Instagram,

who has a platform, because he's starting to heal, and maybe he's a young black guy. And I'm like, maybe there's other young black men who would never open up about this. And now they have the permission to share. And I think that's incredible. So I felt like a responsibility to start opening up publicly about these things and i think

you do such a great job on your videos of like addressing all these scary things that are hard for us depression mental illness cheating relationship breakups divorce like all these things that people are scared to go through you're addressing and i think that's what's helping heal the world let's help and heal the world. Yeah, man, when I hear you say every example that you're sharing right now, it's almost like you had to choose to do the hardest thing. The scariest thing is like the way, you know, that wears Ryan Holidays as the obstacles the way like your greatest

fears is the way. This is something I've been doing as a kid since my teens of realizing, okay, what are my fears? Because these are holding me back from being the greatest version myself. So every year, I would create a list of my biggest fears. I remember when I was a teenager, it was girls. I think every teenage boy is afraid of talking to girls,

getting rejected by girls, like all that stuff is very scary. And for me, I remember I was like, I don't have confidence around girls. I don't know what to say. I'm a stutterer. I don't have anything funny. Like I just stumble over my words.

And I said to myself, okay, the summer when I was 16, I said, every day when I see a girl that I'm interested in or is attracted to, I'm going to run not in a creepy way up to them, but I'm going to run towards them and start a conversation. When it gives me little butterflies, like I don't care if I'm at the pool or the gym or the walking out of the street, I have to go up to them. It was a challenge. I love it. For 90 days to do this. You should have videoed it. I should have, I wish. And for 90 days I did this and I tell you what, the first couple of weeks I was just

humiliated. It was the worst feeling in the first couple of weeks I was just humiliated. It was the worst feeling in the world because I faced my greatest fear, rejection, humiliation, not being enough. They don't like me, whatever it is. And by the end of the summer, I kid you not, I must have had, I don't know, 50 phone numbers and just lots of fun.

You know, I'm not acting on any of these things. I'm just like having fun and overcoming a fear. And I think if human beings were able to create more contained challenges for themselves to overcome their inner insecurities, that's the greatest game you can play. I guess to play a lot of physical sports, but this is the greatest inner sport that you can play

is writing a list of your biggest fears and then giving yourself parameters and a timeframe. So I did this with girls and I was like, oh, it worked. I feel confident. I can say hi to people without being afraid. Then when I was 23, I did it with public speaking. I could not stand up in front of three people

and say anything without sweating, without trembling. It was that crippling. And I know public speaking is a big fear for a lot of people. And I met someone who was a professional public speaker and I said, tell me what I need to do to overcome this fear. He said, you need to join toast masters. You need to go every single week until you're not afraid. So I gave myself a year. I said, I'm going to do this every single week. I would film my speeches. It was horrible, but every week I would get better. And at the end of the year,

I remember being able to speak in front of this group of 15, 20 people in the club and speak without notes, remember my speech, give it with poise, give it with everything I need to do. And I was like, wow, I'm not afraid anymore. And I've done that with salsa dancing. For salsa dancing, I spent 90 days all laying on salsa dancing.

And I was terrified that I could not dance, but I did the same challenge for myself and I constantly do that. I did this with opening up about sexual abuse. I was like, I'm terrified. For 25 years, no one knows this except for me. And I never thought I would tell anyone, but I knew I was cheating myself by not at least

processing the healing because it was something inside that was holding me back. And every year, luckily I'm faced with challenges every year that force me to address my fears, force me to level up, to own my mistakes, to take accountability and responsibility and improve. And I think that's a beautiful thing of life is like, I never want to be not afraid of

something, because then I'm done. So I always want to have something, like right now it's Spanish. I have been wanting to practice, to learn Spanish for 20 years. Now you have to. Now I've got a Mexican girlfriend, and even the first year of our relationship, I said, okay, I'm gonna do this, but I put it off. Like I keep making excuses,

because every time I jump into a new app, a new class, whatever it is, I get my brain hurts so much from learning something that's challenging. This is why I didn't do well in school, because I was just like, I can't do this, I give up. Let me go play a sport. And I was just like, this is good as suck for a couple of years. It's not going to be easy, but I'm going to be so much more proud of myself from accomplishing it in a few years. And what I'm going to learn about myself in the process is going to be greater than actually being fluent. But I just keep thinking back to like, if I died today, what I regret not

going after this fear, what I regret that I didn't share this with my girlfriend, my husband, my wife, my kids, that I didn't go back to school, that I didn't write the book, launch the podcast, whatever it is, what I regret it. And for me, I just never want to regret. So I'm like, okay, I've now found a process. I've hired someone to do three days a week. I'm fitting in my calendar. This is a priority every day. And it sucks right now,

because I feel like I'm not learning any, I can't speak still, but it's like, it's good to take years. And I just need to trust the process and appreciate all the little wins. And I'll try to be fluent right away. Just be like, okay, I know a couple more words today. And that's what I think. If people could do that, their life would be that much more magical. If you wrote down your biggest fears and you started tackling them every year.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on I Heart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions, so we can better understand our lives and our realities

like Does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? or Can we create new senses for humans or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Intercosmos with David Eagleman on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

you get your podcasts. This is what it sounds like inside the box car. I'm journalist and I'm Morton in my podcast, City of the Rails. I plung into the dark world of America's railroads, searching for my daughter Ruby, who ran off to hop train. I'm just like stuck on this train, not where I'm going to end up, and I jump. Following my daughter, I found a secret city of unforgettable characters, living outside society, off the grid and on the edge.

I was in love with a lifestyle and the freedom this community. No one understands who we truly are. The Rails made me question everything I knew about motherhood, history, and the thing we call the American Dream. It's the last vestige of American freedom. Everything about it is extreme. You're either going to die, or you can have this incredible rebirth and really understand who you are.

Come with me to find out what waits for us and the city of the rails. Listen to City of the Rails on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or, cityoftherails.com. Concord your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the before breakfast podcast in each bite-sized daily episode. Time management and productivity expert Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home.

These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to Before Breakfast on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. look, you're in flow, man, this is amazing stuff. Come the back, man. This is a, we call back it. This is amazing stuff. Like I want everyone who's listening and watching right now to do what Lewis is saying right now. I literally want you to get out a piece of pen and paper.

If you're not, then take a screenshot of where we are right now, come back to this later on and do this because what he's saying is so powerful. Like literally, it's so profound. Like I love the fact that you've just consistently challenged and challenged and challenged. and do this because what he's saying is so powerful, like literally it's so profound. Like I love the fact that you've just consistently challenged and challenged and challenged. And it just starts with writing down your fears and finding one thing you can do for 30 days,

60 days, 90 days, whatever it is for you, and just doing that one thing every day and it's doing it, acting, it's not just thinking about it. And so those are... Your next book is gonna be Acts like a monk. And it's gonna be the's not just thinking about it. And so those are... Your next book is going to be acts like a monk. And it's going to be the actions you take. No. What would you say is you're over the last three years, what were the biggest fears you

had that you had to conquer or what's the biggest fear you have right now that you haven't conquered yet? I think that the first thing that came to mind was after my first video went viral. Yep. So we had a million views. So yeah, the first one got a million views in like seven days. The second one got like a million views in 24 hours and then ended up getting like a total of 160 million views across pages. This was when the half post was sharing it.

Yeah, this 2017, 2016, 2016, mid 2016. And my first fear became, I don't want to make any more videos. What? Because I was scared that they wouldn't do as well. Oh my gosh. And this is the crazy thing of the fear of, see, when you're starting, your fear is a failure. And then when you kind of have a breakthrough, your fear becomes of success.

It is. I mean, it's like, who said this? So I think Liz Gilbert says something like, well, I'm never going to be a successful as my last book that sold like 10 million copies of ePray love. And it's like, how do you live life knowing that? You may never. Hopefully you keep creating stuff.

But that didn't happen with you. You've been making videos that have got 300 million views and beyond, right? Yeah. So that was the first fear I had to overcome was like the fear before that was, well, who's gonna care? So that was the biggest fear before starting,

but you talked a lot about that. So I said, well, the opposite end of the fear of, you've had your little breakthrough, you've got a little taste or a glimpse of people now caring and now you're like, well, what if they don't care the next time? So did that cripple you from wanting to create more or less? I made less. I think at that time I was making one video per month

because I was so scared. When I met you at NASDAQ, were you still only doing one a month? At that time, I had just started getting more in a month. Yeah, probably, yeah. It wasn't I was thinking. When I met you, after that, I was like, just started getting more in two weeks. Yeah, probably. Yeah, it wasn't. I was when I met you, and when I after that, I was like, you need to be doing three or three weeks.

I was like, you need to go hard like all in on this. Yeah. Cause you were like, yeah, maybe I'll start a podcast. I'm writing a book then I go, wait and go all in on video right now, tunnel vision on just how can I, this was your gift. And I think people get distracted too early, where it's like, okay, this is my gift that's working. And let me do this, this and this, because it's cool,

but you went all in and you fricking crushed. Yeah, so that was one of the fears. The other fear was, you know, when we were in New York and we've talked about this before, me and Rady had moved there six months ago. Yeah. I decided that I had to venture out into creating my own thing. And I was four months away from being broke.

We had four months left to play rent and groceries. That's it. That's literally what we had left. And you were like, okay, I'm going to go leave Huff-Pow or be part time and then go create more, which takes money, time and energy. Yeah. And I realized that I had to make that journey to start building and creating,

because I wanted to create stuff that I really wanted to create and put out. But at the same time, that came with the risk of, hey, we just got married a year ago, we moved here six months ago. I know no one in New York, no one really knows me, and now I'm trying to create something from scratch in a city where I's full of unknowns. So that fear came out. The only solution to that fear was

literally I woke up the next day and I emailed just like you did kind of with the with the girls at that time but I emailed every person. You have a bunch of girls. No, can you imagine? I emailed every person I'd ever had any interaction with that may need a video. And I said, I will edit your videos, I will shoot your videos, I will create videos for you. And so I just started creating content. Full on hustle scrappy mode.

Literally, just to survive. Yeah. Just to survive. What happened when you after like a week of sending those out, what happened? you after like a week of sending those out, what happened? I was getting a few people emailing back and I realized that it was all a game of odds that I got back as much as I put in. So if I sent a hundred emails, I got 10 responses. If I send a thousand emails, I was getting a hundred responses. And I was

literally trying to find any way through to like seeing people who'd retweeted me on Twitter and reaching out to them and like just any... DM, hey, do you need some video work? I'll help you. Just looking at someone's job title and LinkedIn and going like, who's this person? Because I wanted to build something for myself, but I wasn't sure that people were going to allow me

to create what I wanted to create straight away. And also there wasn't like a monetization plan three years ago on Facebook or I guess maybe YouTube, but it wasn't like a way to make money with your content. You were just, I'm impacting the world and that's why maybe I'll do a book and this and that to make some money, but you couldn't monetize really then.

No, and it was monetization's never been my goal. Like in the beginning, the goal was simply to make an impact. And then I realized that without money, you can't scale the impact. It's true. And that was the clear decision that I had to rewire my relationship with money. Hmm. I had to rewire my relationship.

So without a big fear? That was a big fear. We've talked about this a bunch before, but why was money a big fear for you? Well, I think I grew up in a family where we always had just enough. So the language around money was, we have just enough. We have just enough. We have just enough. And almost there was not necessarily through my parents, but there was a negative kind of narrative that I grew up with that to be rich or wealthy, you had to backstab, lie, cheat, steal, or do something dodgy.

Or not be there for your family or sacrifice time. Totally. It couldn't be done in a healthy way. You couldn't become wealthy in a healthy way, right? That was kind of... What was the switch for you then when you realized, oh no, like money is a good thing to make more of an impact and I actually need to focus on this or add, you know, overcome this fear. Well, I think being in a place where you're four months away from being broke.

You're like, I didn't make some money. You realize that fear doesn't help you be creative. So your creativity actually shrinks when you're under immense pressure and fear. Because creativity, of course, creativity also comes from pain, but creativity also needs abundance to really flourish. That's true, you have a great part in your, you have a great chapter or section of your book that says, follow the pain in your heart.

And it sounds like you had a pain in your heart. Like, I got to pay for rent and I've got this creative endeavor that I really want to take on. And so you went all in on that. Yeah, exactly. The fear now that I think that I'm really, I theoretically understand, but I'm still working on.

You haven't done. That I haven't done yet is I wish I could talk to every person that followed me on social and share my heart with them. Like, I wish my fear is that people don't understand my heart. My theory is that people don't understand my heart. And theoretically, I know that no one will ever fully understand me. And so I have to be able to let go of that. But I think it's hard, like you said, when you're living a public life and you want to be able to share your truth with people and you want everyone to understand. You like, for example, if me and you are talking,

we can give each other time of day to understand each other. Yes. Contacts, conversation, I'm back and forth. Yeah, depth and reflection, but when you have, even if you have a video or you have a podcast, speaking to someone one-on-one is a totally different experience. That's why podcasts work.

Because even though we know other people are gonna hear this, really it's a conversation between us. What is the thing that you really wish people understood about you, about your heart? If you had 60 seconds or two minutes to share that, direct to your audience, what would you say? That's really one to me here. Yeah, I'd say that I want people to know that my intention has always been to serve. It always will be,

that's the place I come from, and that I try my best every single day to do what I love in a way that can help other people grow. And that I'm not perfect. I don't have it all figured out, but I'm learning along the way and I'm sharing what I've learned. And that to me is probably in 60 second version. Sure, sure. What would you say yours is, what would you say?

Well, I think it's a lot of pressure for, especially since you're a monk, you probably have more pressure because people assume that you're supposed to be this perfect spiritual, I don't know, I'm just making an assumption, but that might be part of the pressure. And I think people need to understand that we're all human beings is trying to figure it out.

And I know your heart, and I know what you've been through, and I know the challenges and things you've overcome. And I think it's unfortunate that anyone with any size of audience has a pressure to be perfect with everything in their life. And there's so much happening in the world right now, they're just canceling everyone where it seems like it's exhausting. Like you have to be perfect.

And that's why people are more afraid than ever to be vulnerable, because it's just another thing that knock people down. Yeah. But that's what I was going to ask you. Has there ever been a time where you felt you were vulnerable and open, where actually you found people to get advantage of it or distance themselves from you, where actually you found people took advantage of it, or distance themselves from you, or have you always found that vulnerability has acted in the superpower?

There's no right or wrong answer. I really want to know, have you always found that vulnerability? And then what is that vulnerability if that's the case? How was it done artfully? The first thing that's coming up is, I was really worried. I didn't think people would receive me for opening up about sexual trauma. I didn't think they would,

I thought they would say nasty things or whatever, distance themselves, but it was like the complete opposite where that vulnerability really, and again, I wasn't doing it for some type of marketing strategy. I was just like, I need to get this off my chest

and I wanted to share it. Josh, I'm trying to think of like being vulnerable, but time hard didn't work. I feel like it always works out. I think a year and a half ago I was going through a breakup and that was a very vulnerable time for me because I had people that didn't have the full context and weren't actually reaching out to me to ask me questions. They were just making assumptions. And that was more of a painful challenge to go through of realizing, oh, here's who my real friends are.

And here's who people who have just like always taken for years. But when I'm going through something where they don't really know what's going on, they make assumptions and they don't become vulnerable. Me. So that was like a moment where I was like, and that kind of sucks that, but it was also great in the fact that I learned who my friends were.

Yeah. And so it was like I got to purge a lot of people and you were really instrumental in helping me like, you know, people were gonna come and go. You can't hold on to relationships and you don't wanna hold on to a relationship if they're single- relationship. If they're single-sided or if they're judgmental or if they're whatever, righteous about something without

actually taking the time to be thoughtful, ask questions, listen with an open heart and hear what's actually really going on. And I think that was a time where I was like, it's hard in the moment when you're in it, but I kept saying to myself, I'm gonna have hindsight now, hindsight now, hindsight now, but they ended this year, it's New Year's Eve, like I'm gonna be in a completely different place and this is all gonna be happening. That's possible.

It's all gonna be happening and serving me in a much greater way. That's gonna set me up for something that I would never been able to do in the future. And I feel like the adversity that we go through sets us up for incredible things, but it's so hard to see it and go through it in that moment. But by the end of that year, I was with a woman, the woman of my dreams. I was purged relationships that were takers of me for years, just wanting me to promote them

and help them and make introductions who were only single-sided. I purged these judgmental people on my life. I developed deeper relationships with the people I had who were there for me, you being one of them, and I freed myself of the need to please other people. And that was another fear of mine, which was like, whenever one will like me. I whenever one will not understand me. Kind of like you, it's like,

but they actually knew what was really happening. They would know what's going on in my heart and all these things. And so when I freed myself of that, it was like, I mean, the healthiest relationship I've ever been in, now tell you why, she's the woman in my dreams. Yet if we broke up tomorrow, I'd be okay. Because I'm such a piece knowing that this is happening

for me and she's in my life for a reason right now and hopefully it lasts a long time. But if it doesn't, for whatever reason, we weren't supposed to force it. And it's setting me up for something that I learned to use in the next relationship or the next part of my life. And I've never been in,

I'm getting chills right now because I've never been in a relationship where I've been able to say like, I'd be okay if it didn't work out. And that's why I stained relationships too long because I was too afraid to let it go and feel alone and feel insecure. And I'm just like, if she broke up with me

or if we decided he wasn't the right fit, I'd be at peace because I'm not attached. This is something you taught me is about really being unattached to the outcome. Like being unattached to whatever it looks like. And knowing that if I keep focusing on my heart, if I keep focusing on giving, if I keep focusing on growing, if I keep focusing on loving people and loving myself, then I'm going to reject and attract the right things in my life, whether be my relationships

intimately, business partnerships friends, you're going to repel people that don't want to be in that energy and you're going to be a magnet to beautiful things. And that's where like the first time in my life in my mind, I'm like, my mind is calm and my heart is at peace because I'm not attached to something needing to look a certain way. It feels beautiful. What a beautiful place to be. I mean, I'd be sad. Listen, I don't want to end the relationship. I'm sad to be like, okay, I'm sure there'd be some grieving, I don't want to end the relationship. I'm sad to be like, okay, I'm sure there'd be some grieving, but I feel like I've been through so many hard things

in my life emotionally, internally, that I'm like, I'm fine. I'm alive, I'm here. And it's almost like that thing that didn't work out pushed me up higher to the next greater thing. And that relationship taught me this lesson that's allowed me to do this thing. And this person is getting me to actually learn Spanish, which has been something I want to do for 20 years.

And this person got me to open my heart and talk about sexual abuse. And it's like it's all helping me and serve me to then serve and give more energy to the world. And I think that's what people need to look at is like the challenge that I'm facing right now, the adversity you're facing, whether it be COVID, or relationship, you lost your job, like you need to look at this as the greatest gift of your life because it is.

If you look at it as the greatest adversity, then you'll stay in that space for much longer. Until you realize this is a beautiful gift and it's serving me, where do I find the lesson and how can I lean into the lesson and grow from there? That is beautiful, man. Well said, that is truly just like,

you're speaking to our hearts right now. That is such a beautiful place to live. It sounds like because it is a complete relationship with yourself. Gosh, first, which is what you started with. I think the most interesting relationship we have is the relationship we have with our self or source or God or higher power. But I think the self image we have, like I remember

looking in the mirror as a kid and not loving myself. And if if you can look in the mirror without narcissism, but actually like pure love, for all that you've had to overcome, all that you've been through, all you've accomplished, your way of being, how you've been kind of human beings and kind yourself, and you can fully look in the mirror and say, I love you, and I'm grateful for you,

and I'm proud of you. Those are three of the most incredible things that a person could say, because most people can't say those things today. I bet if you're listening or watching this right now, that there's a lot of people that can't look themselves in the mirror, take their clothes off down to the underwear and say, I love you, I'm proud of you, and you matter. Those three things are probably things that it's hard. Maybe you love some things, we don't love everything.

And there's a lot I want to work on. I'm not perfect. There's a lot of flaws, but it's like, at the end of the day, I asked myself, did I show up and do the best I could like you? Did I give to the best I could? And am I following my mission, my purpose? I think like a month,

you give a clear outline of how to discover and follow your purpose. Without a purpose, we are really feeling lost. And we're going to feel like we're never enough because we're chasing a bunch of things that aren't the mission. So that's why I keep going back to your book, because I think it's really like the handbook for living a great life for people that if, you know, I got an early copy so I feel blessed. I'm gonna like learn this stuff now and apply it to my life but you know it wasn't until a few years ago when I really was able to look at myself on the mirror and say like I'm proud of you and I love you and your matter and I think that's sad but also exciting at the same time

because I think if people can learn that quicker There's a lot of much more peace in their heart and that's what we all need Lewis has man, this is literally everything you're saying today is just like it's hitting the heart Yeah, like I'm hearing you speak today and we speak often so I'm used to having conversations with you We always have like three four hour conversations whether we're walking or sitting Everything you're saying today is like going straight to the heart, like it's just decluttering for me. And so I'm hoping that everyone who's listening or watching right now, you're listening to Lewis going,

I need more of this guy in my life, because he's so clear, so crystal clear. And I can tell that it's because you've done the work over the last few years, like this isn't just, see, saying those things that you... Not just Siri. Yeah, it's not really... And it's also not just reading the lines. Right, you're not just saying that to yourself in the mirror to say it to yourself.

Yeah. You're doing the internal work to be able to say that to yourself in a genuine, authentic way. Yeah. With the understanding still that you want to grow. Yeah, listen, I'm not in front of the mirror every day, saying these things to myself. You're not? No, I'm not like in my underwear,

but I've done it before. And I think you need to ask, you could be a reflective question, could I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself? And every day, I think about something every day. That is, I don't meditate every day, although I try to, I wish I was a discipline as you two hours in the morning,

but I do about a 15 minute meditation almost daily called the soul sink that's really worked for me. But every day, it might just be a few minutes, but every day I think about the greatest version of myself. What is the greatest version of Lewis Howe's look like? And if he was from a distance walking towards me, if I could soak that in for 10 seconds, the way he walked his posture, his energy, his aura, his love, what would I be feeling, what would I be experiencing? I try to imagine myself the greatest perfect version of myself walking towards me and then staring me

straight in the eyes. And I try to imagine what are the things that I'm not doing that are not getting me closer to that right now? How can I eliminate those things? What are the things I am doing that's going to get me closer? How can I do more of those things? And I'm a big visual guy. So for me, visualization allows me to paint a picture

in my mind and then hopefully apply it in the real world by taking action. But I try to, that's my meditation. It's like, what's holding me back? What's missing? And what is that greatest version of me have when he walks close to me? And I think if we look at our lives like that where we start to imagine what could I do, not that I'm ever gonna reach that, but what could I be doing better? And am I closer every single day to that great image of myself that I wanna be?

The thing that makes me proud, the things that make me feel like I matter and then I love myself. And I think it's a powerful technique that I use daily to help me get there. Dude, that's so powerful. It's fun. That's so powerful.

It's fun. Because most of us are visual thinkers, or at least the ones of us that are, and all of us love visuals, whether it's movies or music videos, or, and you're so right that when you start to see it clearly in your mind, and you've always talked about this. Have I ever talked about this on Ellen? I've heard you talk about this on multiple interviews where you always talk about like it starts with the dream. Yes. But it's like the dream is something you have to see first. Right. And that is what a dream is when you go to sleep and you dream, it means you saw something.

And that's where it starts. And I want to start here by talking about something that you've got that started as a dream, that started as a visual in your mind, that now is about to reach its 1000th episode. Which is your podcast, The School of Greatness, which is what this first book was based on. For those of you who haven't read it, this is Lewis's first ever book, New York Times bestselling author, this book, The School of Greatness. But you're on your 1000th episode. Crazy man. Yeah, I wanna, I remember as I started to go through my healing process seven and a half, eight years ago, I had an idea, I was like, I just wanna interview

great minds, because I'm learning from so many great people. I was a great networker and I would get a seat at the table and I would give the one-on-one call with them. And I was like, man, I just wish everyone could hear the information that they're sharing. And I always thought I was asking the dumbest questions when I would talk to them, like the most basic dumb questions. But for whatever reason, they were like so grateful that I asked them. And I was like, God, but I just feel like no, everyone would make fun of me if I asked these questions. So I had, you know, I was like, I feel like I'm doing a disservice

by getting all this knowledge and not sharing with other people, my dumb questions, right? And I was like, I just wanna launch a show. This is a way before podcasts was popular. 2012, I had the idea. And I was like, I wanna launch this show, I wanna do it once a week. And I had one episode with one listener to start.

And now we're 250 million downloads, 1,000 episodes in. And I didn're 250 million downloads, thousand episodes in. And I didn't know what would happen from the dream. It was just like, I just wanna create this thing and start it, and I wanna do it for a year. It was an experiment, just like everything else. Because I wasn't a polished interviewer. I didn't have radio skills.

I wasn't like an on camera host. I wasn't none of that. But I was like, this is an experiment to overcome fears, to put myself out there. And a lot of people to hear me ask them questions. And hopefully, based on me learning, they can learn. And I think a lot of people that have a dream of doing something, they're just wrapped up in so much fear that if you could just get it started and be consistent, you'll see so many beautiful things that come from it. I never knew I would launch a book from the podcast or the second book or a live event or coaching or court like I

didn't they all stem from people saying we want more can you create something else. Yes. Same thing with you. You probably never knew when I I'm going to do these videos once a month and inspire people you never knew that you would have this book that is going to be a number one New York Times best seller, international phenomenon. I'm calling it now before it comes out. You didn't know you'd have a podcast that's now one of the top 50 in the world on iTunes. You didn't know these things would come from it, but you had a dream of like,

I just wanna create videos that inspire people. And because you lean into your talent, your skill set of being like a great learner from your education years to monk life, to then being a great teacher, and your love for movies and creativity and putting it into your creation in a unique and different way, you have the trifecta of the perfect storm that allowed you to share your gift with the world. And it works. And so you've got to leaning into it. And then because of that impact, okay, you're going to have this book, the podcast, TV shows, movies, like whatever you want to do is going to happen. But if you never overcame the fear of putting out that first video, and then the fear of success of doing it consistently,

you wouldn't have the rest of this. I think about that all the time. I consistently think about what my life would be if I listened to the rejections and the failures and didn't put that first video out. And I wonder how you would feel. And by the way, anyone who's listening watching right now, you can tell that Lewis is a really good interviewer because he keeps making it about the other person.

And that shows you why he's such a brilliant interviewer. Like, it's like, why are we talking about me again? Why do we keep talking about me? And I'm not trying to make it about me at all, but this is Lewis. This is why he's such a great interviewer. And when I, you know, me and Lewis, we've interviewed a couple of people together

or been at tables where Lewis is asking question. I actually believe that you ask the best questions. Like when you ask a question, it's often a question I've never even thought of, and I definitely don't think it's stupid, but there's a depth to the way you answer because you really want to hear the, you really want to learn. And you have that, and I remember one of my monk teachers teaching me that he said that if you ever feel you gave a good class, or if you ever failed that you feel that you gave a good sermon or a lecture, he should you should always remember that it is because

of the sincerity and eagerness of the audience. And he said that if you felt that you delivered, it's because that audience was so receptive to here. It's like we both met at conferences where we were spoken, where the audiences were not engaged, and you might have been like, I'm up here dancing like a monkey, freaking sweat, and jumping around, telling the best stories ever, and it feels like cricket still.

And everyone's on their phone, and you're like, but when you go into a room, where it's just like, they're just sitting on the other seat, because they're just excited to hear you, whatever reason the context was set up. You're just like, you can say whatever they laugh, and it's probably like a comedian where it's like, you know, you go into a comedy club,

and if they're not receptive, you gotta work. It doesn't matter if you do your best stuff, it's about the audience. But you're that guy, you're that receptive audience, always. I love to learn from everyone. I think you have a chapter in your book, I'm gonna how to learn from everyone. Yeah.

And it's, I've been, I, as the, this is one of my guesses I reflect back, like every adversity is for us if we find the lesson in it. I just felt like, why am I so stupid? Like, every year in class, I never got above the bottom four in our, in our great cards. So these to rank us, I don't know if they did this in London, but these are rank our grade cards. And I never dropped, I never got past the bottom four, ever, ever from what I, my memory.

And I remember just, it was just a confirmation of how stupid I am. It was just like, well, you suck. It doesn't matter how many tutors, how many special needs of classes you're in, you're never gonna be smart It was like the story But I was like, ah, but I feel like if I observe people differently and if I learn to connect with people in a different way And if I ask different questions and I just observe human behavior

People will still want to connect with me not based on how smart I am on my grade card But because I just care. And I remember hearing the quote, he was from Roosevelt, that was people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. And I heard that as a teenager and I was like, I have a chance, like in this life,

because I'm never gonna know as much as anyone else. I'm always gonna be the dumbest person in every room. And in fact, I try to be. And yet it's not a competition of who's smarter, who's not, and it's not a competition of who cares more or not, but just showing that you do care is always going to be to your advantage. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely, man. Absolutely. But I want to do a quick activity with you with the thousand podcasts. Okay. I'm nowhere near, so I can't imagine what do you want right now? I think we're on like what we nearly reach one and a half years so and we do two a week. Yes, 150

Yes, like 170 okay a little like 10th or a fifth of what you've done. Yeah, so when you look at a thousand episodes And I really do want to focus on this because you know you you've read a whole book about the podcast with interviews. I want to focus in on a few and I know it's not going to be an easy exercise because you know what's coming. But the reason why I'm going to ask these questions is because I want to hear how much these are not just questions for you. They're really like you're in your own classroom. Yeah. Like, you know, we're in Lewis's classroom, which is the School of Greatness, which is what's so beautiful about the name,

because it's almost a school you didn't have, the school I didn't have, and the school no one has. School I wish I had. Exactly. And so you've created that. So let's start with, who do you think in your podcast would have made a brilliant school teacher? Which guests would have made like the best school teacher that you would have been like?

I mean, that's pretty easy. I think you would have been the best because you were a teacher and you struck, I'm not just saying this because you're here. You're probably the first one out of thought, even if you didn't say that, but because you just know how to structure challenging things into easy concepts. And for me, that's what I'm always trying to bridge the gap from. This is a challenging idea, concept, I don't understand this. So let me find the expert who can make it simple.

And then I can ask a question that I second and say, okay, so you're telling me that if we just do this, this, and this, we'll be happy, right? It's like, how can I solve these problems? And so I think you do such a brilliant job of showing it through visual and through quotes and through your own experience to make it something we can see, feel, and experience

as a teacher. So I think you're one of the best. Let me think, I mean, Brnant Brown, because she is a teacher. She's a professor. Yes, so I think she is great of that. This guy just had on Dr. Ivan Joseph, who's a sports psychologist, professor. I think he's brilliant.

I've had a lot of professors on the barber and stuff like that, but the non-teacher to think you, yeah, Brunei, but she's a teacher. So I'm Mungesha Tikhater, and to like that, but the non-teacher will think you, yeah, Bernan, but she's a teacher, so. I'm Munga Shatekudara, and to be honest, I don't believe in astrology, but from the moment I was born, it's been a part of my life. In India, it's like smoking.

You might not smoke, but you're gonna get secondhand astrology. And lately, I've been wondering if the universe has been trying to tell me to stop running and pay attention Because maybe there is magic in the stars if you're willing to look for it So I rounded up some friends and we dove in and let me tell you It got weird fast

Tantric curses major league baseball teams cancelled marriages K-pop But just when I thought I had a handle on this sweet and curious show about astrology, my whole world can crash down. Situation doesn't look good. There is risk to father. And my whole view on astrology? It changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, I think your ideas are going to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive in the i I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts.

The therapy for Black Girls Podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help black women dig a little deeper into the most impactful relationships in our lives, those with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends, and most importantly ourselves. We chat about things like what to do with a friendship

ends, how to know when it's time to break up with your therapist, and how to end the cycle of perfectionism. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your

podcasts. Take good care. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, everything that has happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it. Kobe Bryant. The results don't really matter. It's the figuring out that matters. Kevin Haw. It's not about us as a generation at this point.

It's about us trying our best to create change. Luber and Hamilton, that's for me been taking that moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself, because I think for a long time I wasn't kind to myself. And many, many more. If you're attached to knowing, you don't have a capacity to learn.

On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on-purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHart Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. The next question is who has taught you the most and what is it the most fascinating relationship lesson. So whoever you had on that's really giving you a relationship. The first thing that comes to mind is Rob Bell who is a I don't know if you know who he is. He's like a spiritual pastor.

I know who he is, but I've never met him. I've had him on a few times, and every time he comes on, it's like he speaks to my heart. He told me about relationships and marriage, I'm probably gonna butcher it, but he was like, you create love in the space between when you guys are together.

It's not when you're together where love is created. It's the space between when you're thinking about the person. Wow. And it reminded me of a quote by, I think it was Yo-Yo Ma who said, like, harmony is in between the notes. Like in music, it's like it's in,

the harmony is made in between the notes, right? It's like, that's where the music is actually heard in between the notes. And I think when he said that, it connected me to that. I was like, yeah, it's interesting that love is like the space you have apart. And that might be like 30 minutes or days, but it's the space in between.

So that was really insightful. And I'm probably butchering it, but it was so much fun. No, that's beautiful. And I really remember when I had Matthew Hussie out I've had him on a couple of times he said you know the key to finding someone great someone you love like your soulmate the person you really want to be with is to write a list of all the things that you want in that person, and then go become all those things. So it's like in order to find the person of your dreams,

become the person of your dreams, and you'll attract them. So I thought that was really cool. It was just like taking accountability for your own life. And I'd see like all these people talking about like online dating like the profiles people put on there like, you need to be this and this and you need it's talking about the other people like what they're looking for and don't be this. But it's like, are you those things? Are you just expecting someone else? So always becoming a better person yourself in relationships.

I love that. These are really great ones. I mean, that, both of those are beautiful, but that first one especially about how love is created when you're not together. Space between. I mean, that's really like, I'm going to have to take that and meditate on that. Yeah, my girlfriend's in, you know, at home right now, she's not here. She's in Mexico. She's in Mexico right now. And you learn about like how deep is your love? Are you getting distracted because they're not there? Are you paying more attention? Are you proud of yourself for the actions you take when they don't see you? So I'm thinking of those things more and more. And I think it could be easy to be excited

when you're together, but then when you have time apart, out of sight, out of mind, do you still care and think about that person? Do you still show up with details and attention and love and commitment and compassion? Because it tests you when you have a lot of time apart. Yeah. And so it's, uh, yeah, it's a beautiful thing. Yeah. What it says to me also, in agreement with everything you said is, is also like, I feel like real friends

are people that even if you don't see them for some time, be years. It could be years, you just pick up where you left off, because the relationship was so strong in the in between. The space in between didn't affect it, because you care about that person, you get their heart, and I have friends like that back in London, that I know that even if we don't talk for months, and right now I haven't been back to England for like seven, eight months.

Pick right back up. But you just pick it back up, and I love that statement. I think there's so much truth in that. Okay, great. One more thing I'm relationship, let's you want to cut me off. Yeah. I just did an interview with a guy named Stefan Speaks, who shared a

thing. Who shared a concept that I believe you shared something very similar in one of our interviews where he said, he said three things. I asked him about three things. I said, chemistry, connection, compatibility. And you've talked about chemistry and compatibility before, and I think chemistry, but I said, can you be in a relationship?

Can it work? Long-term, where you're truly fulfilled without one of these things. And he said, yes, compatibility. You don't need compatibility to be fully like magnets. He's like, but you can't do it with just connection and compatibility alone. You need chemistry.

Otherwise, it's a different type of relationship. It's just like, you need the chemistry because connection, he was like, connection can be, like, you can get a group of people, a sports team together, they may not like each other, but you can get a group of people, a sports team together, they may not like each other, but you can teach them how to build connection, like to work together.

They may not be compatible, but you can teach that, and they can be successful. But in an intimate relationship, you need chemistry. You need to be drawn to each other. You can't just say, and this is why you hear all these people say,

these girls say, gosh, you look great on paper. Like he checked every box off my list. He was the perfect guy, but there was just something missing that sparked that chemistry. And it's, you can make it work, but you're never going to be truly like, this is the person I want to be with because of chemistry. So that was interesting of his perspective on it. Like you need chemistry and connection. You don't necessarily need compatibility because sometimes the opposite attract and you can if you have chemistry

you'll sacrifice and go to the ballet if you don't want to you'll you'll watch a movie in Spanish because you love your partner it's you don't have chemistry you're more resentful of trying to do more for that person. Interesting. Because you don't have the chemistry. You're just like, okay, well, I have to do this. Right. So I'm supposed to, of course, I would love to do this because I love it. We have so much chemistry. So that was his perspective, but I thought it was interesting.

I love that. This is great, by the way. Okay. Now, the next one that I want to ask you is who has given you the best money and finance masterclass advice? I know you've best money and finance masterclass advice. I know you've had some incredible like, like, meeting. Gosh, man, it's the first thing I came to mind is Sarah Blakely and Grant Cardone. There's a lot of them, but those are just puffing my mind.

Sarah Blakely says something interesting to me. She said, for years, I think it was seven years she was working as a door-to-door fax machine or copy machine sales person, where she would go to offices, not in the door and say, I'm selling you this fax machine. Seven years, I think it was how long it was. She had an idea to do this leggging thing for women called Spanx. And she said the idea would have never happened

without my dad asking me a question every day when I come home from school and at the dinner table. She said, my dad would ask me, what did you fail at today? And she wouldn't really be celebrated unless she failed at something. And her dad and stilling that in her said, I would not have gone and kept failing at this idea. I would have kept my job and been door to door for probably 30 years or whatever. But because I had

this idea of it's all learning, it's not failure, that allowed me to grow. And now she's a self-made billionaire. So that is kind of a mindset thing. And I would say, I think money is all about mindset. Grand Cardone, when I had him on, he had a fund that was like a hundred million dollar fund that he turned into one point three billion, I think in the next year and a half, and I had him on again.

And I challenged him. I said, why are you not at a billion dollars when you're at a hundred million? And I said, what would it take for you to get there if you needed to get there in the next few months? And he's like, it's just not possible. It's not possible to go that fast, that big that fast. And I go, what would it take if you had to,

if your life was on the line, your kids life, or whatever, like, if there was a way, what would that way be? And I remember sitting there just being like, kind of frustrated that I was asking the question, but also like, he was like, okay, well, and he starts thinking, he's unlocking his mind, like if I had to do it, what would I do?

Well, I would find this person, I would do this. And he just started unlocking something new. And it was almost like he never thought of that it would be possible that quick, that he didn't allow his mind to Imagine the possibilities. So I believe that money is all around imagination and mindset because I never was

Never thought I'd be an entrepreneur. I never thought I would make any money I was like I'm gonna get a job and I'll just take whatever people give me. I was like why would anyone ever give me money? A lot of it was I just didn't believe in myself and I didn't think I had skills that I could package and sell. And once I shifted that and just started learning about money more and what it really is, I was like, okay, this isn't that hard. Once you get past that initial,

like someone giving you $100, then I was like, oh, I can do this over and over again and how do I multiply? So I say those two ideas. Those are brilliant, man. This is great. Everyone's getting recommendations. So we've already had recommendations of Matthew, Hasey, Rob Bell, Stefan, speaks episode, Grant Cardone, Sarah Blakely. Like these are all great recommendations of episodes going listen to right now. Anyone is listening or

watching and is asking questions about relationships and money. For me, it's like, I always think of like the three biggest decisions we make in our life, how we feel about ourselves, who we give our love to and what we do for money. Like there's a three biggest decisions you're going to make. So, see, you're just still a great way of framing everything. You know, it's like, so what was the first one? The first one is how we feel about ourselves. Like what you said. Like that's one of the biggest decisions you make.

The second one is who you give your love to and who you get love from. And the third one is what you do for money. And the fourth one is how you serve the world. Who have you interviewed that you think is really found a unique or different way, because I know you've interviewed like Philanthropist and charity people, is there been anyone who like...

I would say I would add a fits one to that. Yeah, I... What do you do to take care I would say I would add a fit one to that. Yeah, I would. What do you do to take care of your health? Yes. Like mental and physical health. Like how are you taking care of your physical body to have the energy to then give love and receive love, but sorry to cut that question off.

No, no, no, that's good. No, it's good. So actually, let's do both those questions. So who's given the best advice around service and making a difference in the world? Not just advice, but someone who may be doing something really amazing. Adam Braun, for me, is someone I think of instantly. He had the idea to honor his grandmother, who was a Holocaust survivor, and say,

I wanted to do something good in the world. I want to build a school for kids. I want to help kids in need. I want to honor my grandmother by having it named after her at the school. He built one school, and now I think they've built, I don't know, three or four hundred schools. And when I interviewed him, just his way of thinking about service was so much greater than me at the time. I was just like, man, his life is truly on purpose. Like this is the essence of on purpose is Adam Braun and his commitment to serving his cause, which was education for all because he believed that educated we could make better decisions, we can have better tools, resources, we can help our family, help ourselves. And there's so many people that aren't educated in the world.

And you've been out to Guatemala. I've been to Guatemala four times. I've been to Ghana once. I've been to Laos once to build schools and just be a part of it. And I've been doing it for seven, eight years now. So, you know, we can't solve every problem in the world. There's a lot of causes that we could serve.

And I think you have to find out what lights us up. Like the pain in our heart, I go back to your book like you find the pain in your heart and lean into that. For me, being in a school that didn't work for me is painful, like school is a painful thing. So how do I make it fun? That's the book, guys. And how do I give back to kids

who just don't even have a structure or a teacher in their setting, like, who don't speak my language? How can I serve in that way? And so that's why I was drawn depends the promise and And Adam and how he's just like such on a mission for it. So for me, thanks for inspiring Yeah, I love them and then you added the fifth one which I agree with Who's given you the most interesting like physical well-being inside because you've been an athlete you are an athlete Yeah, you've consistently,

you understand your body really well, you love taking your body to the extreme. Yeah. And your mind too, who in the podcast has given you like physical health advice or insight that kind of changed the way you saw it. I had someone recently, Dr. Ronda Patrick, who is really inspiring,

she's been, she's like a human guinea pig. She wears like, I think it's like a glucose meter or something where she, everything she eats, she tracks like her blood levels to say like, okay, she's studying food and nutrition all day, looking at every research paper. So Rhonda Patrick was really inspiring. Mark Hyman, I've had on a few times,

he's great, I think he's been in here too. But just two days ago. Oh, you did, yeah, he's great. So Dr. Gundry's great. There's a lot of great experts out there. Yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. What I love about your podcast is a thousand episodes

is no small achievement. Like genuinely, like I'm glad that we're celebrating it together. And I want this to be a celebration. Like I want everyone who's listening to this podcast to go and listen to an episode of Lewis's podcast. So everyone who's listening to this podcast to go and listen to an episode of Lewis's podcast. So everyone who's listening to this one, go and listen to an episode of. Listen to one that we did, the recent one. You can.

It's pretty amazing because I feel like I get the best out of you from. I mean, you got more out of me that day and we're doing around two. It's amazing. Yeah, yeah. It's amazing. And it was such a weird day too. But, uh, but, but no, I really feel like the reason why I asked Lewis these questions that wanted you to hear the breadth of guidance And the depth of audience and the fact that you've done a thousand episodes and you still remember insights

And you did do well at school shows that you've built the school that you needed right because when you're interested in topics and you find the right teacher and Right. Because when you're interested in topics and you find the right teacher and it inspires you, you're willing to retain more information. And I trust me, I've forgotten way more than I've remembered. But that's what it's about.

Yeah, I think it's, I think something that I learned from you is like we should always be learning. We should always be learning from everyone. We should always be learning from ourselves and what's working, what's not working. And we should always be seeking different ways to learn, whether it be like, I'm gonna discover, I'm gonna listen to something new that I wouldn't normally do. I'm gonna read a chapter in a book

that I normally wouldn't read. I'm gonna go schedule a meeting with something that I normally is not in my industry. And I think if we can learn in those ways, we're always going to be full of life. It's when we stop learning and start thinking we have it all figured out in our space or in our life and relationships. That's when we start to lose our life. But we become full of life when we have more knowledge and richness to it. So you're a great mentor in the fact that like you have dedicated your life to learning. You know, you went, you went away to essentially stop normal life to go be a lifelong learner

as a monk and then you came back and you're continue to do it and then you share with the world, which is a beautiful life man. Well, no, I thank you for paving the way for podcasts like mine, like genuinely, like without the school of greatness, being such a legacy podcast, like podcasts like mine that are newer wouldn't, you know, you, you're part of creating the community and audience of people aspiring to learn these things. Right. Like, you've been a part of that.

And that's not, you know, and whether you like hearing or not, I want to know that. I appreciate it. Because, you know, I used to watch you do your thing before we even knew each other. So I had seen your books, I had seen your work, I followed you on social media, I, you know, for me it was like, you were, and are a leader in this space and paved the way for so many more people to do it. And you know, you've interviewed everyone, like you said, from doctors to health experts to Kevin Hart and Kobe Bryant, and the Broadway and Mike Tyson, like, you know, the breadth of the people that you've interviewed

and the depth, the Brenna Browns and, you know, so many incredible guests, Brenna Bachard and so many other of our mutual friends. Like, I just feel like it takes a lot to keep going for something for this long. It's not easy. Yeah, and I have so much... Keep doing it for a year and a half now. You know how much work it is just for... I mean, the podcast is potentially some of the hardest work. It's so much energy time. So much energy and time.

And longevity is something that you, it's not easy. It's so easy to run. And I've heard you said this before, like you start a podcast for like six episodes and no one listens to people close it down. You make videos for 10 and no one likes it so you close it down and, you know, to keep going for a thousand episodes

and to keep growing. Like you just said to me, you know, we just had, I was saying to you. We just had our biggest month last month on the bus and you said you just had I know and it's like the fact that after a thousand episodes You're still having your biggest month Shows that you're doing something right. It's crazy man I just feel very grateful because it's something I still enjoy and the moment I stop enjoying it is the moment I'll have to shift when I'm doing because I think, or have someone else hosted

whatever it may be, but I see myself wanting to do this for another five years because I was asking questions, dumb questions as a five year old, 15 year old, 25, 37 now. And I don't feel like I'm ever gonna know the answers. I'm gonna know some answers, and I'm going to have some tools. There's always going to be a different tool or a different way to look at things. And as our society evolves, I mean, look at everything that's happened in Black Lives

Matter and political world. And as things just are health with the coronavirus, like as things evolve and information becomes more accessible, we need to learn these things to evolve as a society. How can we be better human beings? How can we strengthen our bodies and our immune system? How can we heal ourselves when there's so much seeming trauma in the air? How do we protect our own inner thoughts?

There's always going to be something we need to learn. And that's why I'm always going to be a humble student and servant. I love it, man. The perfection, perfection of life. That's the perfection of life. Your humble servant, man, and the humble student. Yeah. I love it. Lewis, I want to give you your final five, which are the final five questions that we ask on purpose. And these are the fast five. So questions are usually answered with one word or one sentence. One word or one sentence. Correct. Okay. We'll probably go into a few of these answers because I know I'm going to love them and be interested. What are the top three questions that you think you ask a lot of guests that give you their heart

and how can people also ask those questions in their own life? It's usually before the interview. I ask everyone, is there anything off limits? And if they say no, then I say, then do I have permission to go anywhere and everywhere to make this the most powerful conversation you've ever had to ground them? So asking people for permission, I think,

is a great question. Do I permission to ask you some challenging questions that are going to help me and help us connect more to information to maybe talk about stuff you would never talk about? Like asking for permission, I think is a powerful question. Second question, that I am such and against the question of, what do you do, where did you go to school, what's your work? I'm just like over that question

because I've been in so many networking events and that's what I get all the time, that I try to just ask a question that most people would never think to hear or get when they meet someone new, which is simple stuff. Like what are you most grateful for right now? What are you most excited about in your life right now? What's something you wish you were doing

that you're not doing right now that would excite you? Anyone of those three gets people to like, stop pause and they almost always look up. Yeah, yeah. Cause they have to search for it. Yeah. It's not a quick response, so I'm in marketing, I'm in this IT, whatever.

It's, let me connect to like a higher source to my heart to like a dream for a second. And if you give people the dream and connect to their heart, they're always going to get deeper into the relationship and deeper into the conversation. That by the end of this five-time in conversation, they're going to go away saying, that's the most interesting person I've met today. And you don't have to say anything. You don't have to show off, you don't have to talk about yourself, you just have to ask a better question. So that would be the second one, the third one. What are you most proud of in your life? I think people really like to think about the things are proud of. And also things about what they're not proud of.

So get some focus on how they can become better. So those three things. I love those, man. Okay, so number one challenge for everyone listening to watching right now. I want you to ask those three questions to someone in your life. Yeah. Because there's such easy questions to ask. And actually, even the permission question, it's so beautiful because it's going to allow

that person to open up to you. To be more vulnerable. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, it's going to, it's going to allow that person to open up to you. To be more vulnerable. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, it's going to improve vulnerability in your life. Yes. So everyone, I want you to find one person this week that you're going to ask those three questions too because they're beautiful. Okay, great.

Second question for you is, what is something in life that you're certain about that you think other people would disagree with you? I mean, something I grew up in, which is a philosophy, a religion, a mindset that two things. One, I grew up in a religion called Christian Science. It's actually the same religion that Ellen grew up in. Her dad passed away a couple of years ago

and he was a Christian scientist till the day he died. She did a nice little memorial on TV talking about it. But Ellen had some challenges in the religion because extreme Christian scientists, I would say, do not support same-sex relationships. So I think there was some challenges there that was really struggling for her. And I'm no longer, let's say, in the religion per se,

but I believe in some of the philosophies that it taught me early on. I don't believe with all of it, but there's some of it. And number one is we are just an idea. We are thoughts. And we are spiritual thoughts. And we can heal the physical body through spiritual thought. So, that's one thing, idea that I think people would say, well, I don't agree with that,

because we're a matter of this and the, and my grandfather used to tell me that Christian science also stands for C.S. the letters, also stands for common sense. And that if you are in pain, if you've broken something, you know, go to the hospital, get it said, take medicine if you need to, so you can get back to a place of a peaceful mind, and then heal yourself with your thoughts.

Yeah. So it's funny coming back and doing the podcast now, hearing guys like Joe dispends that and we're just up here and all these other great in yourself, talking about like it's all in the thought It's in the mind. It's in like how you think about yourself and how you reflect about yourself and your imagination That I'm like this is all stuff I heard growing up in this religion So I truly believe that we are spiritual ideas

Even though I wrestle with it sometimes when I feel physical stuff and I mean a physical body But we are led by our spiritual thought the second thing I mean, a physical body, but we are led by our spiritual thought. The second thing, there's a lesson my dad taught me as well. He never celebrated my birthday, and I think you've seen a video of me talking about this. I love that video. And I remember when I was like nine or 10,

I was upset around my birthday time, and I was like, Dad, why don't we celebrate my birthday? Do you not love me? And my friends have, the kids in school have like birthday parties and this and then they get cakes and balloons and presents and I never got anything and I was like, Do you not love me? And he said I love you very much, but I love you so much that I don't want to celebrate your age because I never One should be limited by how young or how old you are because so many people that he knew by how young or how old you are, because so many people that he knew, would always say, I'm too old to do this.

I'm too young to do this. I could never do this. My time has passed. And I was like, you can still buy me a cake, Dad. Like, they be out of ice cream, and he did. He just celebrated me in other ways, but that lesson has stuck with me because it was painful, and it hurt me

that it didn't happen for many years. But when I learned the lesson, I started to really appreciate and say, you know what, you're right. Like, when I was an early teenager, I was like, screw it, I can be a varsity of a freshman. Like, who cares if these guys are four years older than me? I've been working harder for the last four years.

I can play with these guys. Like, I never doubted myself my abilities to have a shot at something. And I think it with these guys. Like I never doubted myself my abilities to have a shot at something. And I think it was like this. I don't know. It was this. I just didn't have a programming that limited me early on in certain things. I'm sure I'm limited in other ways, but it wasn't holding me back from going after

what I wanted. And I think that never has held me back from launching a book or a podcast or events. Like things I'd never done in my life and didn't't know how to do it didn't stop me from trying So I was grateful for those ideas. Those are amazing, man. Yeah, those are big ones. They're deep ones I love those. It's interesting what you were saying about your father Oh, and and it's really about understanding why he did it, which is what makes it so interesting. And whether... So, I didn't explain it for years

until I came to him and said, do you not love me? And I felt that way. So, with my parents too, we never really celebrated my achievement. So, we always celebrate my birthday. But if I achieved something, we didn't really celebrate it. So, if I got good grades, it was like, okay.

If I... That's three days, they were just really celebrate it. So if I got good grades, it was like, okay, if I got straight A, it was like, it was expected. Expected, it was expected that I would do something like that, not because I always did, but just because it was kind of taken, not taken for granted, but expected is the right word. And so I don't think they did this consciously, but what it did for me, and this is partly why I think it's always about how you perceive something. The way I took that is it stopped me seeking their validation because they never had a big response to what I was doing. I just started having my own response to what I was doing. So I stopped wanting them or needing them to be proud or to be excited for me or anything

because I was like, I'm just going to give that to myself. So that was a good thing then that they did not acknowledge your accomplishments. I think for me, I took it as a great thing. And then the other thing that it gave me was, I always stopped being complacent because we didn't over exaggerate a celebration. I could always gradually go, okay, what's next? What am I going to build next? What am I going to focus next? And I think my wife definitely has bought more of a celebratory aspect

in my life. You've been to my... We need that. Yeah, we do need that. To me and you were just like, okay, it's done. Go. Next, bigger, better. It's not good enough.

Like, we need to like, okay, it's taking a moment. Yeah, exactly. You were at my surprise party two years ago. By the way, if you want to get on Jay's good side, he loves birthdays. So send him a nice gift or something or just a nice card and he will remember it for sure. Yeah, meaning for it.

Meaning for it. Ask me something that I would, like my definition of a gift is something that I wouldn't get for myself. Right. And so it doesn't have... That written in card is a meaningful gift. Totally, because I'm gonna write't get for myself. Right. And so it doesn't have written in court as a meaningful gift. Totally, because I'm gonna write a card to myself.

Did you? Did you? Did you? Did you? No, I appreciate birthdays, because my parents always did a big thing on birthdays. But yeah, you've been to my parties, and my wife has really brought celebration to my life,

because she comes from a family where they celebrate a lot. But anyway, okay, that is question number two. I'm gonna bring up a gift. Going back to it, okay. Number three is a question that I know people would love to hear from you. If someone wants to start reading what are three books that you would recommend that have had a big impact on your life. I mean, I've always read about 15 books in my life from cover to cover. So the ones that have been impact for me

is the Alchemist, which I think is one of your favorite. Love it, yeah. The Alchemist, I think, you know, it comes back to like the treasure in our heart and what's already within us and like just discovering that and finding that. And I think so often we get comparison game, we get off track, we get distraction game

where we don't remember like what's our true legend inside of us. So that's that's one. I would say I'm not I mean I'm not saying this because you're here. I think you're both things like a monk is seriously just like an amazing like I want to keep going through it because it's just like every two pages has an example, a model of framework where it's you can apply it to your life. So I think that's the modern version of probably like 10 to 20 books of the past in the personal growth space and in this kind of mindset space that I think is going to be the standard for the next 10 years. So I'd say that one. And I would say there's a book that just

popped in my mind called Influence by Robert Chaudhini, which I just believe so much about life is understanding human nature and human psychology and human behavior. In the United States, a human behavior behavior a lot. And so much of this is, it doesn't matter how talented you are, if you can't influence someone to see your talent or to buy your talent or to watch your talent or read your talent, it doesn't matter unless you learn how to influence in an ethical moral way,

other people to desire something that you can create, whether that's influenced people to desire you in an intimate relationship, a friendship, you know, your family members. So they desire you like all these things, understanding these are, I think it's seven areas of how to influence people on anything. And I learned this back when I was learning online marketing when I was making no money I read this book and it gave me the tools to then say, I have an idea, how do we get people

to buy into this idea? It's the same strategies that politicians use. And, you know, when people are trying to build a campaign, so Amazon uses these strategies. Like, every big company uses these kind of seven or eight key factors of influence. And so say that book. It's a much more dense kind of like research-based stuff. You would like, it's not an easy read, but it's like it tells all the research behind it all. So those three. All right. Thank you, man. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Question number four and five. Four is, what's the biggest lesson you've learned in the last

12 months? Trying to think of the right word. I think it's I think it's patience. It's probably patience coupled with, what's the word, just not trying not to react and constantly put myself in another person's shoes. It's just like a lack of patience and perspective and not reacting when someone else is trying to come at you. So it's been really challenging, but it's like teaching, I've been learning how to do that better, So it's been really challenging, but it's like teaching I've been learning

how to do that better to just breathe, make sure, and when I react, it's like, oh, I didn't follow the meditation the morning. I need a better tape war. It's like, so just having patience and more perspective has been a big lesson. I love that, man. Okay. And fifth and final question, if you could create a law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? The first thing that came to my mind was you have to believe in yourself because I believe that I believe that self-doubt is the killer of every dream and so many of us die with our dreams in the graveyard. We don't have dreams that we have imagination, we don't manifest the imagination. We don't become the alchemists of our life and create something beautiful, our talent,

our gift, our purpose, because of doubt. And if we believed in ourselves more, we would be ruthless in our actions on creating it, or at least going for it. So I'd say the law of believing in yourself and that there is no such thing as self-doubt. That's the first thing in kind of mind, but I was also say like just loving and having more compassion, like the law of love and compassion

because that would end every war and every fight and political issues, like just having that law, love would be amazing. Yeah, I love that. Lewis has everyone. If you want to read more from Lewis, of course, the School of Greatness, which was his first book, his second book,

The Mask of Masculinity, I'm excited for the next one. I felt like, Oh man. You could take anything you said in this podcast and go straight into the new book. So I'm buzzing for that one. And I just want to say to everyone listening and watching,

go and check out the School of Greatness reaching it's 1000th episode, which is an insane achievement. I want to celebrate Louis. I want to celebrate this incredible legacy that he's created and leaving as well. And continuing to build. I'm excited to see who else is coming on the show. And I just want to say a big thank you to you, man. This has been so much fun. It's great. We have it more there. Yeah, 100%.

100%. You need to come back. I'm trying to think of like catchphrases for us, like the athlete in the brain or the mind and the heart or something. It's like, we got to come together. Yeah, yeah. No, for sure. For sure. I love this, man. This is so fun. And more than that, I really appreciate you sharing and opening up your story, being vulnerable because it doesn't matter how many times you've shared it, it's always vulnerable.

And so it always requires you. And today, the way you shared it, I felt so coached by you through it. That every time you were sharing so many practical insights for us that we can actually do. So anyone who's listening and watching, make sure you go back to the episode and do the activities that Lewis is saying. It's not good enough to just know them and hear them and think, oh, that's cool. Actually go and do them and experience the difference in your life. But Lewis, thank you, man.

Thank you so much. Tag us both on Instagram with any insights and wisdom that stuck out. It's at Lewis House and at J. Shelley Tag us on Instagram on Twitter. Tell us what you learned from today's episode, what you're testing, what you're trying, and stay tuned for so many more episodes coming of on purpose. And a big thank you again, Lewis. Thank you so much for doing this. What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War II? An opera singer who burned down an honorary to Kit-Nap her lover, and a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, haven't comment. They're all real women who were left out of your history books.

You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast. Check it out on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. I'm Munga Shatekler, and it turns out astrology is way more widespread than any of us want to believe. You can find it in Major League Baseball, International Banks, K-Pop groups, even the White House. But just when I thought I had a handle on this subject, something completely unbelievable happened to me.

Am I all of you on astrology change? Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, give me a few minutes because I think your ideas are about to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Lewis Hamilton, and many, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours.

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