On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Lindsey Stirling ON: How To Deal With Things Not Going Your Way & Believing You Are Worthy Of Your Desires

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

What would you do if all your hopes and dreams were pinned on one audition, only to be crushed by rejection? Lindsey Stirling knows how that feels. After being rejected in front of millions by America’s Got Talent, she chose to see the silver lining and refused to give up. Stirling’s passion for her music has taken her all over the world as her powerful albums and concerts have reached millions. You'll learn how she used gratitude & magic to succeed in her life. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I am Yom Le Van Zant and I'll be your host for The R Spot. Each week listeners will call me live to discuss their relationship issues. Nothing will tear a relationship down faster than two people with no vision. There's y'all are just floppin' around like fish out of water. Mommy, daddy, your ex, I'll be talking about those things and so much more. Check out the R-Spawn on the iHeart video app Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Nunehm, I'm a journalist, a wanderer, and a bit of a bond

for Von, but mostly a human just trying to figure out what it's all about. And not lost is my new podcast about all those things. It's a travel show where each week I go with a friend to a new place and to really understand it, try to get invited to a local's house for dinner where kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party, it doesn't always work out. Ooh, I have to get back to you.

Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast in each bite-sized daily episode. Time management and productivity expert Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age,

learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to before breakfast on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Sometimes what you're fighting for and what you want in the door you're banging on is just not quite the right door. You just gotta turn a little bit. You gotta listen to your own voice that tells you where to go. Is it time to try something else? Is it time to keep pushing?

Is it time to like just accept where you're at? Like whatever it is. Like listen to your heart because it will never lead you astray. Maybe it's just not the right door. Maybe it's just not the right time. Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose. I am so excited for today's conversation. You know that I love introducing the guests that you can fall more in love with, but even

more importantly, guests that are willing to open their heart, share the challenges they've been through, and share with us how they can actually act as a guide through lessons, through learning from their challenges, mistakes, and issues that they've gone through, and people are willing to be vulnerable with us. And so whenever we get this opportunity, I want you to listen to this episode with an open heart, with an open mind, and really with gratitude for our guests today, who's willing to talk about so many different experiences that I know will help you through so many things in your life. Today's guest, as you already know, is none other than Lindsay Sterling.

Now, Lindsay is a platinum-selling electronic violinist, dancer, artist, and author. She's known for smashing boundaries and defying expectations. And on her fifth full length album, Artemis, she once again conjures the spirit of innovation that initially distinguished her back in 2010. She has over 12 million subscribers and over 2 billion views on YouTube. Lindsay shares that in her life,

she's gone through depression, anorexia, and loss, but she always comes out on the other side and wants to remind everyone it's possible. Today, I'm thrilled to find out more about how she fills her life with positivity and her creative process as an artist. Welcome to the show, Lindsay Sterling. Lindsay. Hi, oh my gosh, I'm like blushing over here. It's all true. It's all true. It's all true. It's all true. And I also wanted to say as a personal intro,

we actually met for the first time, I think around two years ago, nearly two years ago, at the summit of greatness by Lewis Housen. Yes. And I remember, I, so I've been a big fan of the violin my whole life. Oh really? Like I think it's the most beautiful instrument in the world. I have never tried to pick it up for that exact reason

because I do not want to ruin that reputation that it has for me. And I'd heard your work before. And so I remember coming up to you and you were signing books that year. And I remember just telling you how much I loved your work and your performance that it was just phenomenal. And I know we've been wanting to have you on the podcast for a while. So thank you so much for being so kind and generous with your time and being here. Absolutely. Thanks for having me. I feel like it's been so long

in the making to like get here today. Literally. Yeah. But it's perfect. And I wanted to start with the question that I don't think you get asked often or maybe it would be a different place to start. But I wanted to ask you, what's your favorite anime series from the 90s? Oh man. I mean, probably like, I love Spirit It Away.

I just think it's so, and I love Sailor Moon. Like all those early anime, I love their storytelling, but I also love the costuming. Like, I've always been a really inspired, even in my own style a little bit. Like, I don't even know if today it represents, but- The pocket watch you do. I've got been a really inspired, even in my own style, a little bit like, I don't even know today, represents, but- Oh, the pocket watch, too.

I've got a pocket watch, just like interesting pieces, like anime characters. Yeah, I love it, and we both discovered just before, literally we talked for about 10, 15 minutes about our love for Harry Potter and Avatar and Disney World and universities. All the fan fiction stuff. I was like, oh gosh you're a nerd too. I'm a super nerd I know everything I know all the hidden parts of the movies and I get into all of that

That's what the pocket watch I was very impressed. Oh, thank you. I just like there's a really dressed up today I know pocket watch. I love it. I love it and You know with all of these things that we're talking about other things. We're both fascinated by as well You talk a lot about your belief in miracles, right? And like magic almost to some degree as well. Tell us about where that belief came from and what is a miracle to you? Like, what counts as a miracle to you? That is such a great question.

I've never been asked before. I love that. So, I was raised in a home that was very religious. And sometimes people say that in a way of almost their scarred by it, but I feel like the religious aspects of my life have really blessed me so much. They've made me, I feel like a deeper person. They've made me believe in something greater than myself. And I was raised in a Mormon home.

And I really combine the aspects of religion still in my life. greater than myself. And, you know, my, I was raised in a Mormon home. And, you know, and I really combine the aspects of religion still in my life. I still go to church on Sunday. I actually teach a Sunday school class for the teenagers. And it's something that's only bettered my life. And I think that a lot of times people see religion as divisive. I think that when religion is used for what it's actually meant for, it's inclusive. It helps people bind together. It gives you opportunities for service. It gives you opportunities to uplift other people and to be uplifted when you're the one that's weak in these communities. As long as it's something that my parents always taught us that the basis of

whether we believe this or they believe that, what we need to always rely on is its love. Love is the basis of all of it. And if you start to make it a divide, you're missing the point of what, you know, religion was supposed to be. And so for me, it's a mixture of religious aspects and spirituality, just connecting to something greater than myself. And I think that I don't know when I really started. I just believe so strongly that miracles happen all the time. And I like to look for miracles in my life every day.

And I think that it really became even stronger for me after I lost people I loved. Because suddenly this other side, I've heard my whole life that we go somewhere after we die and when my best friend passed away, and shortly after that my father passed away, suddenly someone I loved so much, two people I love so much were on that other side.

And I just started to really think, where are they, what are they doing? Like how close can they get? And I've been given so many little miracles for lack of a better term in my life that show me that they are looking out for me. And the more I look for that, the more I see it. And I've had such little, you know,

everything from tiny special, tiny miracles to big things that have happened that just make me feel powerful in a way, almost like I imagine I walk through life with these angels around me that are looking out for me and whispering things in my ear and helping me and it makes me feel almost like I have a super power. I'm a superhero because I've got this strength and angels from the other side and I pray for help all the time from that.

Asking specific angel. Sometimes it's my grandma and masking for help. Sometimes it's you know my best friend, my dad. Sometimes it's my grandma and I'm asking for help. Sometimes it's, you know, my best friend, my dad. Sometimes I'm like, Hey, I want a channel Lucille Ball today. I want Lucille Ball to be my special angel today. You know, I'll ask specific angels for help. I know that might sound weird, but it does make me feel like I go through life with help from the other side and extra power. Yeah, that's beautiful. That's amazing. And I love that you talked about how miracles are both small and big things.

Absolutely. That sometimes it could be the tiniest thing that happens in your day, that changes your mood or is like a little lesson or a piece of wisdom or whatever it is. And then it could be something huge, like, right? You know, the great successes and achievements you've had in your life. And I think it's beautiful when we can see miracles in both. Right. Because I think sometimes we're waiting for miracles to be like these big, gigantic changes. And actually sometimes

miracles aren't like that at all. Absolutely. And like even sometimes my family all talks all the time about like, oh, our angels are looking out for us because we all have this thing in common that our dad is over there. He's one of our angels. And so we'll always, even if it's like, oh, I remembered right before I left the house that I should grab whatever it is. You know, it's like, oh, my angels are whispering in my ear, you know? And like I said, I think that whatever you look for in life, you're going to see more of. And if you are not looking for something, yeah, you're going to be like, well, I never seen miracles. I never get that. But if you, it's like when you all of a sudden become aware of an artist, all of all the sudden you're like, Oh, they're everywhere. They're on that billboard.

They're on the radio. Oh, how can I never heard of this person before? But it's because now they're in your peripheral view. You've seen them. And I think it's the same with gratitude or with miracles or with whatever it is you're looking for in life. If you look for it, you'll see it. That's such a great point. The way to test it is, if you ever buy a new car, or an I- Right. If you ever buy a new car, you're thinking about buying a new car. And then you got in the road, you see that car everywhere. Right.

It could be a rare car. It may be a common car, whatever it is. But it is exactly that. Whatever's in your peripheral view, you start to see it everywhere. And I think the point you just made is so beautiful, because I think sometimes it's like when you're rushing out the home and you notice you forgot something. It's like, oh, I forgot it. Like it's almost like a negative feeling.

Right. Rather than like, oh, thanks, I remembered, right? Like the way you're seeing. Right. And it's so interesting because it's such a small thing and we do it every day. I know I do it sometimes. It's like I get downstairs and I'm about to get in my car

and I'm like, oh, I forgot my wallet or whatever it is. Right. Rather than like, oh, I'm my wallet or whatever it is. Right. Rather than, oh, I'm so glad I remembered rather than getting to the store. Really interesting, yeah. Right? Yeah, or even having a moment to be like, oh, thanks. Yeah.

Hey, hey. Thank you, my angels, or whatever it is that you see as your, you know, thank you, my brain for being smart and remembering whatever you want to see it as. I like that. Yeah. Well, you're just, you're something. Well, you put it anyways. That's cool.

Yeah. You know, and one thing that I think has helped me so much, you're just, you're setting up me. Well, you pointed it, anyways, that's cool. You know, one thing that I think has helped me so much, I talk about all the time is my gratitude journal. Yes. Has been very like transformative in my life. And this, like, I didn't realize, like something so simple would make such a big impact. And it's things like that, where automatic responses

start to become more gratitude-based than negative-based. It's exactly like you said, the same exact situation where I can be like, I am so stupid that I always get to my car and I forget something. Or, oh, thank heavens I remembered before I left. It's, I've noticed a shift happen in my mind of all of these little tiny things that happen automatically now that turn more towards an optimistic attitude rather than beat myself up attitude or a complain attitude. All because I practice every single night for five minutes before I go to bed just do do do do do like several

things I'm grateful for and it's just those little tiny things that make the biggest difference in life and I often think that when we want to change you think sometimes I used to be like oh gosh I've got so much work to do. And I have to change everything in order to be a better person. But it's like, no, it's tiny, tiny pivots, tiny, tiny tweaks, like little things that are going to just make these huge impacts over time. And it's all about just one pivot at a time.

Not shifting everything, one tiny, tiny turn. shifting everything. One tiny, tiny turn. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oh, pro. Everything that has happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it. Kobe Bryant. The results don't really matter. It's the figuring out that matters. Kevin Haw. It's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to create change.

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learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to before breakfast on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Absolutely, when did you start your gratitude general process? Like when did that become a regular habit? Two years ago. Oh wow, it's a fairly recent. So yeah, it's been a fairly recent week. It's been a long enough time to practice it, but it's been fairly recent in your life. Right. Yeah. And where did you get introduced to it? And why,

why did it, was it just you read an article or a book or you heard it somewhere or was? I just heard it enough. I think, you know, I'd heard enough people say that this is a good practice to do because I'd listen to a lot like, I like to fill my life with positivity, whether it's reading like Bernier Brown books and my, you know, on Audible as I drive in my car listening to podcasts and I feel like the more I fill my life with positivity, you know, more positive I am obviously. And so this was something I just kept hearing about. And every year I like to pick a word to work on. And last year, as a result of kind of starting this gratitude journal, I decided I'm going to dive in. My word for last year was gratitude. And it was really nice.

And I think that's a really good way to approach New Year's resolutions, because you can make tons of little like goals, but they all, all my goals always focus around my word for the year. So it's like, this is my big goal. And then I'm gonna just make lots of little things that will hopefully lead to that. And anyway, so that's when I really dove into it. I'm like, we're doing this. I'm gonna visualize it, I'm gonna write it, I'm gonna be it.

I love that. And how many things do you do every night? Only three. Like it's very manageable. I do three when I go to bed, and then I do three when I wake up. So it's just like the book ends of my day. And then, you know, sometimes when I'm really ambitious,

I sit there and I'll visualize those things and I'll try to like feel them actually, not just right, then see, then actually feel. And then go to bed. I love it. Love the sound effect too. It's the plan. Hello, what was the intention for the year of 2020?

What was the word for this year? Oh, my word for this year is actually magic. So it's funny that you started off. I have no idea. And you start off the podcast with that word. That's crazy. Again, I've heard that word so much in the last month. See, I haven't.

Because I've probably, because I'm looking for it, and I'm thinking about it. And the reason I chose magic is I feel like, I don't even know how to describe it. I feel like I used to live a little more magically where I made big wishes and I dreamed big and you know, I didn't even realize this, but someone was telling me that every eight years, it's a year of manifestation. And I guess this year is one of those years. And so eight years ago was a year of manifestation. So I was looking

back at eight years ago and the things that I believed I could do, the things I wished for, the things that were like on my radar. It is amazing what has come full circle since that year. And I didn't even realize it. But I used to be so good at making wishes and believing full heartedly that I would achieve them and that they would come back to me. And because I believed in good things, good things came. And not that I'm a pessimist, I just feel like a little bit of that, like, you know, dreamer in me has become kind of realistic. And so I want to just open it up to, like, living magically, like, feeling magical, feeling powerful, feeling, like, all those things.

And so getting back to that, that side of myself, that I think has just gotten a little bit realistic. Yeah. If that makes sense. Yeah, that makes so much sense. You always have struck me as quite a magical person in general. Oh, thank you. I feel like you have, yeah. I don't know if it's because you showed me dressed up as Dobby or...

No, no. No, I just feel like you have a very magical presence on stage too. Thank you. which is like, I don't often say that, so I'm not just saying it. It's an interesting thing that I picked up on so now that all seems to line up, but I love what you're saying, because I think as children we saw and believed in magic,

and I've always been really into illusion and illusionists and magic, so people like David Blaine or Kevin Brown, and I'm always fascinated by it. And the truth is, as you become older, you want to know how it's done. Whereas when you're a kid, you just appreciate it, and you just, wow, that's my blood. And I think it's almost like you're like that, like even whether you're on a ride or you're in a movie

or whatever it's like, your, I don't mind just wants to figure out how everything's done. Right. But you lose that sense of magic, you lose that sense of spark of feeling of wonder. Yeah. And just being allowing yourself to just be like,

actually, it doesn't matter. I don't need to know. I'm allowed to experience. And I think that that is one of the most important things that made my career happen is that when I first started, I wrote my first album, never having written a song before, like my own composition, never, like I wrote my first 12 songs or all the 12 songs that are on my first album. That album changed my life. It took me literally across the world. It went

gold in multiple countries. And I had never like written, like I was, I'd been a musician my entire life, but I didn't know the rules of songwriting. I didn't know the rules of how to mark an album. I didn't, I just worked my butt off and I believed that it would happen. And it happened. And I think that's, you know, looking back on my beginnings especially, a girl that was like, I want to kind of invent my own genre, music,

of playing electronic violin music, it's all instrumental, and I want to dance while I play, and I want to tour and wear fun costumes. And what? Yeah, everyone listening to it would be like, yeah. This girl's insane. And I know that because I sat in front of people

and tried to pitch what I was doing. And I showed them like videos of me doing it in my living room, like being like, see, this is the vision. And you know, I went to record labels and management and no one believed it. But there was something inside me where I believed it so strongly. Because I just had that magic inside of me. I'm like, no, I know I can do this. And I made big wishes.

I made big plans. And when you don't know what's, you're like possible and impossible, sometimes you end up doing the impossible. And I look back at just, you know, and like what did I've gotten to do with my life and in the last 10 years? And I'm just like, it was kind of impossible,

but I didn't know that and so it happened. I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved bomb by the Tinder swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify the narcissists in your life. Each week you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships,

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I mean, you saw the stacks of cash in our office. Chocolate sort of forms this vortex. It sucks you in. It's like I can be the queen of wild chocolate. We're all lost. It was madness. It was a game changer. People quit their jobs.

They left their lives behind so they could search for more of this stuff. I wanted to tell their stories, so I followed them deep into the jungle, and it wasn't always pretty. Basically, this like disgruntled guy and his family surrounded the building armed with machetes. And we've heard all sorts of things that, you know, somebody got shot over this. Sometimes I think, oh, all these for a damn barn of chocolate. Listen to obsessions while chocolate on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Hey it's Debbie Brown and my podcast deeply well is a soft place to land on your wellness journey. I hold conscious conversations with leaders

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Namaste. That's beautiful. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. What have you found happens when you believe something but it doesn't necessarily happen at the right time or the time you wanted it to actually not the right time. I take that back.

Yeah. You know, it's almost like that feeling of what I mean by you is I agree with you. I think that belief is so powerful, but sometimes people will say, well, I have this belief, but it's not happening, right? Right. Or maybe you've had a belief at times, but it didn't happen in the way you thought it was going to happen. Like, I have so many stories I could think of.

Which one do I tell? Whichever one, yeah, whichever one. I think the biggest one I can think of was, when I first started, I wanted, I had this dream of what I wanted to be, what I could see, and it's what I am now. That's what I saw on my head. And I tried all these different ways to get it out there

and every door just closed in my face. And the most public one and the most dramatic one was I auditioned for America's Got Talent. This is in 2010, this is 10 years ago. And I made it all the way to the round where it's like live. And it, there's like, I think it was the top semi-finals, whatever. And now at this point, America calls,

and they vote for you. It was like really exciting. And in my mind, all I wanted to do was win this show. I knew that if I won the show, my life would change forever in an instant. And you win a million dollars, you win a Vegas residency. Like, it's a big deal. And they kind of also drill it into your head

that this is the biggest moment of your life. Don't blow it. And so here I was, I'd never really performed in front of any more than like 100, 200 people. And here I am on this like live stage with like millions of viewers watching. They've even told me before I stepped on the stage, there's 11 million people tuned in right now.

Good luck. You know what? So I go out there, I'm in the middle of my performance and I hear the buzz and that means I got x'd. So not only was it, I mean, in that moment, I knew that I'd blown it. Like, I'd blown the biggest moment of my life. And I walk up to the judges after I finished playing

and I got told that I sounded like rats being strangled. It was on live television. Like everyone I know is watching, including a lot of other people. And you know, and I was told just, you know, you just don't have what it takes. You're not good enough. And I was devastated and humiliated, really bad combo. And I remember I went backstage afterwards. Like I held it together on stage, you know,

like trying not to cry. And then I ran into the bathroom because that's the only place you could be alone and I just sunk to the floor and I sobbed. Like I sobbed the ugly cry for a long time until they came in and found me. And they're like, we're closing up, like, you gotta go. And so, I packed up my low violin and I just honestly didn't know if I could get

on a stage ever again because I was just so embarrassed. Like, you know, even embarrassed in front of my family, even though they were like, you were great, we love you, we're proud of you. It was I just was like, I don't even think I can look myself in the eye again. But there's that inner voice, you know, whether I call it my angels or whether you call it your gut or whether you call it intuition, whatever you call it, we all have it. And it told me you're not done yet.

And sometimes that voice will be like, it's time to try a different road. Like there's different things, you know, but listening to your inner gut will always tell you where you should go. And at this time it was, it's not over yet. And I kept moving forward and I ended up shortly after that, trying several other things and then discovering YouTube, which this was the early days of YouTube.

I put some videos out. They went, quote unquote, viral for the time and it changed my life. And looking back on it, like, thank heavens I didn't win America's Got Talent. Like, thank heavens I did not. You're locked into these contracts that are really rough. And I never would have been able contractually to start my YouTube channel. I would have been locked into a record label deal.

I'm now like an independent artist and I tore the world. I do it on my own terms. And I never could have done that if I had gotten what I wanted. And I just have so many of these experiences where sometimes what you're fighting for and what you want in the door you're banging on is just not quite the right door.

And you just gotta turn a little bit. You gotta listen to your own voice that tells you where to go. Is it time to try something else? Is it time to keep pushing? Is it time to like just accept where you're at? Like whatever it is. Like listen to your heart because it will never leave you

as stray and maybe it's just not the right door, maybe it's just not the right time. You're amazing. That was awesome. That's so beautiful to hear. We have so much more in common than I knew. Oh really? Yeah, I can relate to so much of what you just said right now.

And I've probably said it in other interviews that I've been in. Just so much of what you just said right now. And I've probably said it in other interviews that I've been in, just that feeling of what you explained of how. Sometimes what you want is not actually the best thing for you. No. And I've been in that position so many times and I literally said this to someone a couple of nights ago. I was like, if I got everything that I wanted, most people wouldn't know who I am or what I'm doing or anything. Like I would just end it up in this weird side job that I wanted. Most people wouldn't know who I am or what I'm doing or anything.

Like I would just end it up in this weird side job that I just thought was the dream, you know, when I was trying to break through and get people to listen to me and the amount of doors that were shot on my face just in the way you've explained where I've always talked about YouTube was like my last option. I done everything.. Like, sorry YouTube, we were not my first choice. It was like, I was like, one of those moments of just like, every door had been shut. It was like, you know, at that time, 10 media companies had told me that my inspirational video

ideas were not good enough and would never make it. And I had three execs tell me I was too old to be in media. I was 28 years old. And they let you too old. Everyone is trying to get in the media's 21, 22. And they'll just start a blog or just do that. And then everyone's like, there's no careers in media. There's no, and you don't even have a communications background

or a media background or a film background because that's not my background. And so just for me as well, there was just one option. That option was to try and do it myself. And so when I'm hearing you speak, it's, I love hearing someone else say because it's kind of like reaffirming for me to hear it from you,

that something as big as winning America's got talent, which is huge. Which is huge, yeah. But in your experience, you've even found that that wasn't the end of the road. Right. Not winning that. And I think that, and actually I find, and I've said this to be before, sometimes it's the people that don't win that go on to do more incredible things than the people that

win. And I wonder if it's partially because it gives you this little like, you know, this little, and you know, for me, I think in that experience, looking back on it, a lot of times people are like, what were they thinking? They like, they didn't see what you had. How could they have been so wrong? But they weren't necessarily wrong. I agree.

You know what I mean? Like, looking back at that video, I really didn't perform well. Like, I was a baby in it. I was terrified. I hadn't really earned my stripes yet as a performer. I was too early on that stage in where I was at as like this. You was too early on that stage and where I was

at as like this, you know, I just come up with this idea of dancing and playing and I was kind of awkward at it, really awkward at it. So they weren't wrong. And when they said you're not good enough, they weren't exactly wrong. They didn't have to be mean. But the point is though that I added my own word to it is, I'm not good enough yet. And sometimes when people give you harsh critique, it's easy to like take it to your soul. Like that's who I am. I'm not good enough yet. And sometimes when people give you harsh critique, it's easy to like take it to your soul. Like, that's who I am. I'm not good enough and I'll never be good enough.

But no, it's, tonight you weren't good enough. And that's okay to say. And that's okay to accept for yourself. Tonight, I wasn't quite what I wanted to be. Yes, I will be better tomorrow. I'm gonna show up, I'm gonna work hard. And now I can say, honestly, when I step on a stage, I've be better tomorrow. I'm gonna show up, I'm gonna work hard. And now I can say honestly, when I step on a stage, I've earned my stripes.

I worked my butt off, not only to create all of the social media stuff and learn how to live in that world, but honestly, just in my skills and my craft, I've honed in, I still practice it. And so now it's like, yeah, I now have earned my place in this entertainment world. And just because I wasn't good enough yet back then doesn't mean I would never be. Just because you're not where you want to be right now doesn't mean you're not going to get there.

And so yeah. Yeah, you don't have to take something that was true one time and make it true for all time. Like that's the way I was trying to say it. It doesn't, yeah, no, no, I think about it while you were saying it. Yeah. So often we take something that was said one time and we're like, okay, that's true for all time now. And that's it.

Right. And there is no reality. I love what you just said about adding the word yet to the end. And about accepting that, it's the same. Do you mind if I share my version? I don't think I've shared this before. I want to share it because you're inspiring me to share it. So I was working for a company

and I was doing extremely, extremely well there. But I felt that I wanted to leave to work on my passion which was create videos and share these ideas that were inspiring and motivating. And I believe it would help people in their life. I hadn't yet made anything. And the company asked me to create my ideal job profile. And so I created it, which was interviewing people like this, creating videos that help educate and inspire and inform people and making content in a way that people would feel better

and be impacted by it. And I remember speaking to the chief marketing officer of this company, and I was on the phone with them, and they were looking through my list of my ideal job. And they said, Jay, so you want to be an influencer and you want to be a celebrity. And I said, no, that wasn't, that was no, that word was not on my list. It was like, no, I want to do interviews. I want to be a host. I want to be a content creator. I want to edit these videos. It was, it was, and they said, no, you want to be a celebrity or an influencer. And I said, no, no, I think you've got it all wrong. I, I just really believe that I should be making content.

They said, well, we don't have space for celebrities and influences at this company. And literally it was phone down moment and I left like a week later. Now so many people since that day have always said to me, like, oh, don't you, don't you want to go back and show them what's happened and tell them? And I'm like, I want to go back and thank them. Like, I wanna go back and express gratitude to them and be like, thank you so much for telling me that there wasn't any space for this role.

I still don't see myself as an influencer or a celebrity. That's not the point. But I'm so glad that I was told that this role didn't exist there. Because if it did, I'd still be working a full-time job having to create content that was right for that place and not being able to, same as you said,

being an independent artist, getting to put content that I really believe in and that I really love and I can spread all across the world. So anyway, I'm grateful, look, yeah, thank you for. No, I love that. It's just this idea that the doors that close that are devastating are Oftentimes the best thing that could ever happen to you But it's only gonna be the best thing that ever happens to you if you keep moving forward

Yeah, if you keep taking steps and say, okay, well, where's next? You know, what's the next thing? I'm you know, it's still believing in yourself despite the fact that maybe someone else didn't yeah I'm inspired to see. I like stuff. I'm starting to find. Now, honestly, you've just like put my soul on fire. It's amazing. It's like, it really is. Awesome. Tell me about, we've talked about professional failure or professional rejection and purpose-based challenges. This is purposeful to you. Yeah. That you do. It's not just your musician and you do it from a career point of view. It's purposeful. But tell us about the personal challenges that you've broke through as well. You've battled with anorexia. That, I mean, I'll let you tell me whether that was harder or easier than a professional challenge.

But it sounds like it's a lot harder when it's personal and with you in your body and your mind I mean, tell us about how you Went through that experience and how you overcame that Yes, and I actually love to talk about this because so many people You know to some degree or another deal with this whether they are Diagnosably anorexic or whether they just some days hate their body Like I think that a lot of people deal with this and I think depression is something that, whether it's clinical depression or chemical or whether it's just situational.

Everybody deals with that at times of their life. I think it's something that's so important to talk about and learn for yourself and understand how you go through these phases. And I realized when I was in college, I was in the middle of college when I finally came to realizing, oh my gosh, I'm anorexic. And it took a while to come to that realization because I had been depressed for a really long time. And it happened so slowly that it just consumed me.

And I would have defended it forever, being like, no, I'm just really healthy because I was exercising all the time and I was eating like a bunny. Like I was eating all like vegetables. And, you know, so I would have defended it forever that, no, I'm just healthy, but I finally had this moment where I realized that I had sacrificed everything for this. And it happened, the realization for me happened in the most simple moment and it makes me really emotional, but my sister's my best friend.

And she was my roommate at the time. And all of our roommates, we were all really close, really good friends. And I heard them all laughing in the other room and just talking, some of us telling a funny story about a bad date or something. And they were all laughing, but I just didn't even have the energy

to get off my bed to go in and join because I just, and I also just thought like they wouldn't even want me to join. I just was so depressed. And then my sister came in the room and sat on her bed and I looked at her and thought, I don't know when we became strangers, but I don't, I don't even know how to talk to her anymore. And it was because I had gotten so consumed in my mind. By like anorexia is fully consuming.

All you think about is yourself. All you think about is your next meal. All you think about is what you look like. Like it becomes a very selfish disease that is very isolating. And it's not like you're selfish in the terms of like, oh, I'm awesome. Like it's selfish in the terms of,

oh, you can worry about is yourself because you're so consumed. And so I didn't even realize, but I was like, I don I'm awesome. Like it's selfish in the terms of, oh, you can worry about is yourself because you're so consumed. And so I didn't even realize, but I was like, I don't remember the last time we had like a real conversation or laugh to talk together. And that gave me the courage to be like, something is wrong, something is definitely wrong in here, and I need to figure it out.

And so I started going to therapy because I was finally willing to fight for happiness again. I realized I was sad. And, you know, it took me about two years to fully come out of this first cycle of, like, depression and pull out of it and come out of anorexia and become like, oh my gosh, I think I'm healthy. And, you know, since then, I find it being like, it's gonna always be a part of my life in the weird way. I don't know how else to say it. But it's very much in the background. It's something I don't deal with on a regular day-to-day basis.

But sometimes when I'm stressed or when I'm worried about something or when I'm exhausted, that's when it thinks it has room to come back and it tries to sneak back into my life. And now it's to the point where, rather than taking two years to come out of it, now it's like, oh, I recognize you. And you're not welcome here.

You're not a part of my life. And I really, one of the most helpful books I ever read for my anorexia was a book called Life Without Ed. And it's where this woman personified her eating disorder and she talked to it and she would say she would have conversations with it and talk sense to it because you realize there's a dialogue in your mind and it tells you sometimes really nasty things and to her that was not her that was Ed it was her eating disorder and so I started to do that I started to see these horrible thoughts in my mind as they're not me anoreorexia is not who I am. It's like this little thing that's

come into my life and it's not welcome. And so I constantly remind it to leave. And when I like, if I catch, see a picture of myself and have that thought of like, oh my gosh, I'm like, I look huge. Or if I catch myself in a mirror and think something nasty, I am now immediately tell that you're not welcome. We don't talk to ourselves like that. I don't entertain those thoughts and then I'll say something nice to myself. I'm strong.

There are so many wonderful things about my body. I'm healthy, I'm strong, I can dance, I like to run. And so it's choosing what I am going to let stay now. And also, I think that there, it sometimes takes work. And we don't always put that into play. We all know it takes work to be healthy and to eat right and to exercise and take care of our bodies. But what about our minds and how much attention do we give

to the happiness and being positive? And that's why I write my gratitude journal. All these little practices I have in my life. And then I think the biggest one for me is just listening to that voice and when it says something that's unfair, I learned years ago when I was going through therapy and anorexia, you know, to not entertain the bad. Like, I don't do that. And it's very empowering to say that, to stop your own thought and be like, nope, it's not who I am. Self-love, you know? Yeah, and no, that's great.

I love the way you've broken down the process for all of us. And thank you for the recommendations on the books, too. It's always, and I do audience loves hearing what books help and work. And so if anyone's struggling with that in particular, it sounds like a fantastic book that really helps you understand the voices in your mind and your head and recognizing which ones are not you.

That's 100% true. Yeah. That's 100 percent true. It's always like a bad friend. I think it was Gandhi who said, don't anyone walk through your mind with their dirty feet? And it's almost like sometimes it's your dirty feet or another thing that is inside of you. It's almost doing it to yourself. But you're so right that that negative voice in our heads is not us. It's like being friend with a bad, you know, it's like being friends with the negative influence. And you've started spending so much time with them. It sounds like your voice now. Yeah. So I think that's a really important lesson. Well, it's interesting how it's like we've written these stories and these beliefs in our mind about who we are. And I finally came to the realization that if I wrote this story and became this once upon time,

somewhere along the line, I started to believe these things. I started to write this and then I reinforced it every day in my mind. I rewrite the story every day and I punish myself over and over and over again for a belief that I wrote once upon a time. And so if I wrote it once and if I believe it now, then I can write a new one.

I can change it. It's going to take time because our minds love familiarity, and if I believe it now, then I can write a new one. I can change it. It's going to take time because our minds love familiarity, even if it's negative. And it, you know, that's just a pattern. Our minds run on patterns. And so it's like, okay, start to break the pattern. It's going to take time. It took me two years the first time because I was pretty deeply entrenched in a very unhealthy, very, very trapped pattern.

You know, I'm not saying it's gonna take everybody two years, but if it does, that's okay. Don't look at yourself today and think this is who you are forever because I can't even tell you what a different person I am now. Like, you called me magical. In college, no one would have called me magical in that time.

My roommate's, but it would have been Lindsay's really tired. She's very, you know, she's nice, but I just didn't have the energy to be like out there for other people and be kind and be as loving because I was so trapped in this like tornado inside myself. And I'm like, if I could change from that person to like where I am now, where I, you know, I love to share with people. I feel like anyone can do it. This is a process that start where you are today, start to love yourself, start to be kind yourself,

start to fill your life with more and more positivity, and you can get to be, you can get to anywhere you want. Whether it's like I said, my journey of like getting off America's Got Talent, having to work step by step to like become the violinist I am now, or whether it's looking in the mirror and being able to say,

you're beautiful to yourself. Start where you're at, but you can get there, and I honestly believe that anyone can be there. Yeah, that's really great. And it takes more still. Yeah, of course. It's good. You know, I still go through times like last weekend,

I had a real depressed weekend, where I was like, dang it, I'm in a funk. I'm in a depressed stage, and I don't like being here, but I recognize now that that's okay. It's not who I am, it's a passing experience. And I think too often we like attach ourselves and our definition of self to like, I'm depressed.

Like this is me. No, it's not me. It's a phase, it's like the cycle of the moon. Sometimes the moon's covered with shadows, sometimes it's bright. It doesn't mean it's not still there, just because you can't see it. And I sometimes get a little covered up.

Yeah. And I just have to like go to all my things, like call my therapist, do all the things that I know will help me. I now take ballroom dance lessons. That really helps me pull out of these, like, you know, I called my teacher. I was like, actually, can we have an emergency ballroom lesson

today because I'm just feeling down, you know? And I think it's really important to learn like what are the kind of things that work for you and don't attach your worth and your definition to how you feel in a moment because they come and go. Absolutely, just like the weather. Just because it's rainy outside. You're not like, oh, I am now rain. It's not like rainy inside and same with the sun. You're so right about having something though and I feel movement is such a big part of it. I'm in ballroom dancing for you. Whatever it is for you, it's like I feel movement is such a big part of it. I mean, ballroom dancing for you, you know, whatever it is for you, it's like I feel movement is always a powerful thing to add to that space to get you out of your head. I always find that whether some

people are running and it is and that's what I mean. I love this example of ballroom dancing because it doesn't have to be exercise in the traditional sense. Even though we know exercise is great for breaking through our depression patterns and negative patterns, it's like exercise can be fun, it can be a sport, it can be dance, it can be so many other things. So don't feel bound to just exercise. Well, I love that you said one time on one of your podcasts that your wife will dance every day.

She does it every day. And I was like, that's amazing. Like, nothing great. And she will say off beat. That's where she'll add off beat. Yeah, you don't have to be in a make you don't have to be Derek Huff in order to do that, you know, or Julia, I love them both and they're like, yeah, we love. But you don't have to be like that in order to like enjoy movement. And they said

the same thing. Yeah, even Julia and Derek would say exactly as Julia had Julia on the podcast. Yes. And so she said the exact same thing. She was just like, yeah, like you don't have to once people to just move their body and add it. Yeah. I love that. And tell us about obviously you mentioned it earlier as well, like losing your best friend and your father, like close around the same sort of time. Right. Those sound like like very formative experiences, like very transformative that, you know, you seem to have processed in a positive way where you know that they're still in your life and they're still benefiting you. What else is, what was it like going through that loss and how were you able to use it as a dis now, not just

feeling, but this genuine reality that you experience with them and still being involved in your life. Yeah, you know, it was so formative in a way, because I feel like, I mean, I've never lost anyone before that. And I feel like it gave me this very strong empathy that I never had before, where now I can, I just feel things a little deeper. Honestly, my emotions now are always right up to my eyeballs.

I'm like a second away from crying all the time. Not in a bad way, just like, whether I'm watching a horse movie, and the race horse is about to win, oh my gosh, tears will flood, or whether someone's telling me an emotional story, or I cry on stage all the time, just telling my fans, I love them.

I start to cry. I love them. But I just feel things like I've always been a very feely person because I'm an artist. But like, there's a depth to it now. And I think that going through hard things can either give you like, you know, it can either make you harder and tougher or they can make you stronger.

You know, and I just think that sometimes we feel like these hard things, like they hardness, but I almost feel like it made me softer going through this. And I honestly think it was my religious beliefs and my spirituality that pulled me through it. And turning to that rather than turning to anger. And I remember actually one of the most beautiful moments of my life was as my, we were, as my sister is my mom and I was my whole family were sitting around

my dad's hospital bed as we knew that it was his like last moments. You know, we weren't sure when he was going to go. We weren't sure if he could hear us or not, but he had quite a long battle with cancer that was really hard to watch. And so as he's laying in this bed, not looking like my dad anymore, we sat there and we were just in silence, like not knowing what to say.

And then one of my sisters was like, you know what, let's tell stories about dad. Let's tell like some of our favorite moments. And we just sat there and they started a little like, I remember one time and then before you know it, we were laughing and we were crying and we're all holding hands as we're telling these stories. And in that moment, this shift happened in me

where I went from this bitterness of like, how could this happen to my dad, to this smart, strong, like the best man I know, funny, like, he made me who I am. And rather than being angry at what had happened to him and at what I was losing, I just became so grateful for what I had, which was like a lifetime of memories of the most amazing father. And the most amazing family that I still had. And then also that I will always still have my dad

because I believe he's with me. And he can help me now in ways that he never could have when he was in his mortal body. Like he can really be there to comfort me at any time. And I really think that that was one of the biggest shifts that got me through this experience was realizing to have gratitude for what I have. Not only have what I have,

rather than the things we've lost because abundance and lack of abundance exist around all of us. All the time, whether you're the billionaires of the world or whether you live somewhere remote in a hut. We all have abundance and we all have lack of abundance and it's up to us to choose where we are going to look because at the end of the day, we all just want joy. We all just want happiness.

And what else matters? Then like sharing goodness, sharing gratitude, sharing love and giving yourself the ability to have self love. And forget all the labels and the judgment and the money and the, like who is it that decided? We're also supposed to look a certain way. Who is it that decided that money equals happiness

because it doesn't? Who's that decided this success makes you better than somebody else. It doesn't like all these things that sometimes trap our minds into feeling like we're supposed to be a certain way are their prisons, you know. And as soon as you can stop all those, those voices and those opinions and just realize, like, what is it that I want to be? I just want to be grateful. I just want to love.

And that was a huge shift that happened in me and it happened, you know, moments before my dad passed away. And it's to this day one of the most transformative moments I've ever had. Thank you so much for sharing that, by the way. It's so like heartwarming to hear you express everything through gratitude. Like, you can tell how much you've processed everything through gratitude, even the toughest moments of any one of our lives. For anyone who's lost someone in any way, anyone who's listening or watching right now, you know that it's not

easy to do that, but the fact that you've been able to fuel every situation in your life with gratitude is an amazing lesson for all of us. For all of us, it's amazing. It's really, really beautiful. And it's such a wonderful reminder for us all to follow that example in all of our different challenges and situations in life. And you're just saying there that it's all about being joyful, etc. And this new album that you've made, Artemis is obviously, you say it's one of the first albums that you've recorded from a place of joy as opposed to recording it from a place of

pain or challenge or struggle. As an artist, I mean, that almost sounds harder sometimes. Isn't it? It's not. Well, it's sometimes. Yeah, tell us about how that was different. Yeah, people always say that you know artists make the best music through pain or the best like films through pain and I was like that's kind of horrible, but we have to experience pain in order to make good art. But to be honest like, you know, whenever I go to a start a new album or a new phase, it's like okay, I think where am I at? What am I feeling? And you know, my brave enough album, which was the previous one, was written about loss.

It was right after and like during all of this that I wrote that album and I drew from hard emotions. And it was a good album. However, I think that this album, Artemis, I think it's my best album I've ever done. And it was really exciting when I went to think about, okay, where am I at? What am I drawing from?

And I thought, I'm in a place of joy. Like this is awesome. I get to write about like being in that place, not just hoping to be in that place and like the strive to get there, but like, I get to write about it. And I called the album Artemis because Artemis is the goddess of the moon.

And I've really come to appreciate this whole analogy of what the moon represents to me now, that I mentioned it earlier just briefly, but that the moon goes through phases. Sometimes it's bright and it lights up the whole night. Like you can literally walk by the light of the moon. Other times it's covered in shadow and you can't even see it. And after my best friend, Gauvi, died and my dad died, I was in a little bit of a shadow for about two years. I was in quite this, a little bit of a situational depression.

And I had kind of accepted that, you know what, I think loss changes you and I think this is the new me and it just needs to get used to her. That rose tinted glasses version of myself, that kind of magical person, I think this is the new me, and it just need to get used to her. And that rose tinted glasses version of myself that kind of magical person, I think she's gone. And that, yeah, okay, this is me. And then after about two years, I just felt myself come back. It's like the eclipse was over, and I was like, oh my gosh, it's not that I was gone. I was just covered up by a little bit of shadow.

And that's okay. And that's why I was like, now my gosh, it's not that I was gone. I was just covered up by a little bit of shadow. And that's okay. And that's why I was like, now think about depression and all these things, I'm like, they're just, or hard weekend, they're not who you are. They're passing phases, whether it last two years because I lost the most important people of my life, or whether it's, you know, just for some reason,

you're having a really hard time. It doesn't matter, they're not who you are. And if you keep working on yourself and doing the things that you know help, whether it's dancing in your living room or whether it's going to therapy or writing your gratitude journal, just like doing those things. If you keep working on yourself and living with hope, you will find your full light again, just like the moon always returns to its full light. And that's what this album Artemis was all about.

It was about coming to full light and expressing that. And it was also really fun, because I wrote a comic book, like as a partner piece to the album. And I'm actually still working on the first issues out, but I'm working it's a six series comic. But it was so fun to write, like inspired by characters and the theme and like, you know, this like story that I got to develop, I think it's really important as an artist or

as just a person, you know, sometimes we feel like we're running in a hamster wheel a little bit, it's like, okay, I mean, I like my hamster wheel and all, but like I've done this, like this was my fifth album. So I was like, how can I make my hamster wheel feel slightly new, you know, and you know, it's not like I had to just be like, I'm done with music and I'm trying something else. It's like, no, I just need a slight shift to make this feel fresh. And for me, that did it for me. Just having a story at a comic book and like writing a music almost as if it's a score for the comic book just made it all feel really fresh and fun.

Yeah, that sounds so innovative. And I love the analogy of the moon because for me, it's like, that's such a beautiful way of looking at life. Like you don't judge the moon every day. Right. And you don't go, oh no, it's a half moon today. Like, oh no, it's covered today. Or like, oh no, it's full today. It's like, you realize that it goes through phases. Right. And it's the same with ourselves. Like, we're going to go through phases and you're going to, yeah, you're going to be full of light one day and one day you're not. And's going to come back around and it's okay and it's okay. Every phase is okay. Every phase is okay and every phase is still beautiful and useful and has a purpose. I don't think

it would be possible for the climate for the moon to shine the same every day. Like I don't actually think it would be scientifically possible for that to be a good thing because of yeah, where it's going to shine and movement when you look at how the design of the universe is so perfect that if you took it out of alignment of the way it is, actually, it wouldn't be that way. Right. And as you were saying, like some of the shadowy moments of your life, you know, metaphorically, they're the ones that taught you what you need to know.

They're the ones that gave me empathy. They're the ones that made me really dig my heels and be like, I'm gonna work really hard. So no one ever tells me I sound like a drowned rat. And like, you know, whatever those shadow moments are, they're important in your phases too. And they make you really appreciate, like when you do get to fully shine.

How to do that? And also, I just like that even when the moon is half covered up, it's still shining. It's still shining. It moon is half covered up, it's still shining. It's still shining. It doesn't give up just because it's, you know, halfway covered. Yeah, yeah. And shines in the areas that it can. It shines forever and can.

Yeah. And we can do the same thing and we can all bring light to darkness. I was a nothing. I love about the moon. The fact that it's so brave and it faces the night, whether it's a full moon and it's like, I'm powerful or whether it's a sliver, it still shows up to give all the light it can in the darkness. Yeah. Wow, so much, so many beautiful lessons from the moon.

I know I love the moon. Yeah, it's Mexico. Yeah, you, you, I'm never gonna look at a moon the same way ever again. Yeah, me neither. Yeah, yeah, it's amazing. So beautiful. And I loved what you do, my innovation.

I love that, that even though it's your fifth album, it's not like, oh, and I've done music, and I've played a violin, maybe I'm gonna go learn how to play another instrument, or maybe It's not like oh and I've done music and I played a violin Maybe I'm gonna go learn how to play another instrument or maybe we're getting and I'm gonna be a dancer or and There's nothing wrong if you did that nothing wrong with that But it's interesting to see how you can innovate in your space Yeah, and actually your creativity comes to life and you innovated a virtual concept right? Oh, I did yeah Tell us how about that that sounds like a... It was so crazy. They had me in this whole suit with all these little sensors all over them.

It's like, and they created these these really cool worlds for me to perform in. I was like a Lindsey avatar of myself. So I got to actually design it to be like my little Artemis character, you know, that I that I made for the comic comic book and I got to perform online as this avatar in this like futuristic, cool world with, you know, and it's fun because, you know, in a live show, I can't be like, let me spin through pedals and have them like float around me and like, let's have lightning go to the beat of the music. But like, you know, whatever we wanted, we could make it happen. So it was a virtual world. And it was just really fun to have fans live all over the world.

They're tuning in from, you know, whether it was like some from Russia, some from South America, you know, some from LA. And I was just like all over the place and, you know, getting to have that moment together was really just different. And also it was really funny because, you know, I've done a lot of shows in my life now at this point. And doing a, like, an actual concert to, like, there was like hundreds of thousands of people watching. But yet I'd finished a song and it was just like

six people in a room with me that were like, you know, that's like that energy of a concert. I kept hearing it in my mind myself. Like, oh yeah, all those little, I could see the dots of the people that were in, they are watching, like those are all people. They're all here, even though I can't see them. I can't feel for everything.

Yeah, they're hopefully clapping at home. Just with my manager and some of the, like, the engineers, like, yay. I love it. Yeah. That's I love the innovation of it. I think that's awesome. I'm excited to see what you end up doing with, like, virtual reality, augmented reality. Are you into all that kind of stuff? It's fascinating.

It's really interesting to me. So it is fun to think like, what is the next step for that? How can music more be incorporated into that world? And who knows? Yeah, I think experience is for audiences is just so powerful. And technology allows us to touch so many people that could never be in the room or can never travel. You know, I've been thinking about this a lot lately,

about just dealing with this thought in my mind of like, ah, social media provides such an opportunity to connect across the world and do so much good. It also, as we know, has such a power to do, not good. And we find ourselves sometimes trapped in these comparison situations or feeling bad about ourselves because everybody's showing their lives through filters and it seems real, but it's not.

And I've really been thinking a lot lately, I'm like, am I a part of the problem? Social media, or am I a part of the good? And I think the answer for me after thinking about it more is like, okay, I think I do feed some of the problem because I, you know, I think I do some of it a lot of the good. I try, but I was like, you know what? I'm sure my fans look at my pictures that are like

from photo shoots or like my polished music videos when I like took hours, literally hours to get ready. Like my hair, my makeup, body spray. Like, you know, I like look good when I show up on set. You know, I'm like, you're busy videos amazing. Thank you. I love making my videos. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm sure people compare themselves.

The same way I compare myself to people's filters. And that's not to say art is art. And you know, this is kind of the realization I've come to And that's not to say, art is art. And this is kind of the realization I've come to. It's okay. I love makeup. I love playing with costumes and fun looks and expressing myself artistically in that. However, if I'm gonna do that,

I need to be okay with the other side. I need, for me. And so I've realized I've made this new goal of trying to just showcase some unfiltered life online. And that's a little vulnerable for me because I don't have flawless skin. I still get like 33, I still get breakouts. Like everyone lied to me and said that was a teenager thing.

And it never got left behind. But you know, just showcasing and realizing that like, yeah, it's fun to get dressed up. It's fun to do all that artistic stuff, but it's only fun if you're okay without it. I think one of my favorite quotes is from Cool Runnings, where the coach says, you know, a gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it,

you'll never be enough with it. Ooh. And so I love that movie. Yeah, I love that movie. And so I've really been trying to make sure, like, if I'm going to do all this other stuff, I have to balance it. Like life has to be balanced. And if, because I also get used to seeing myself with these filters, whether it's like

the funny filter with bun ears that makes your skin flawless and like, ah, or whether it's like looking at myself through the lens of a music video, I mean, I need to be okay looking at myself in the mirror and saying, I, I need to be okay looking at myself in the mirror and saying, I'm just as beautiful without all of that. And it's funny because when I do posts like that, you know, my fans all say that's what I'm the most beautiful. And I need to believe that. And also I just want them to see that like, I have frizzy crazy hair and acne and like all of that. So I've been thinking a lot about that lately of trying to make sure I'm not a part of the problem of social media.

And I, you know, and it's, I don't know, it's been a really interesting balance over the last two months to try to like gauge for myself personally and for my fans. Yeah, no, absolutely. And I really respect that. I think it takes a lot of, because there's two sides to it as well, and this is kind of like the balance that you're saying, if we also don't want people to play down their lives, so that we all settle for less.

You know what I mean? It's like you want to be creative, and you want to bring your art, and you want to do body, and you want to look, and it's not like, I think that's the point, that you're not saying, oh, I look beautiful here, and I don't look beautiful here.

That's what we don't want, but we also don't want people to just settle and not be extravagant and not play for that because there's art and beauty in that as well. Yes. And I almost feel like we don't wanna create a culture, just as we don't wanna create a culture that just celebrates filters. Yeah.

We definitely don't. We also don't want to be a culture that only accepts. That only accepts. And when I'm saying average, I don't. We also don't want to be a culture that only accepts. That only accepts. And when I'm saying average, I don't mean beauty or how you look, but it's like creativity or passion or purpose, right? It's like that balance. And it's like, you know, I'm sure it's not right on stage.

I'll go too far and then I'll be like, I went too far and then I'll go to, you know, it's probably going to be an ever-fluxing, you know, balance. But like I said, it's like, it's just as much for me as it is for anyone else. It's like, because I find myself comparing to other people's filters. And we all do. So it's like, well, then I have to be really okay with myself without the filter so that I can love being that person that is behind the camera. Because if I love who's underneath all of that,

then it's gonna be all the more enjoyable to be dressed up with antlers on and in this crazy dress. And, you know, as long as I'm okay without all of it. Yeah, absolutely. Just something I've been thinking about a lot. Yeah, no, I love it. Yeah, and I think we need to work, you know, that's, I think that's gonna be something

we're all gonna get right and wrong every day. It's a process for all of us. Yeah, figuring it out. Like, it's, I think that's going to be something we're all going to get right and wrong every day. It's, it's a process for all of us. Figuring it out. Yeah, figuring it out. Like, it's the same for me. It's like, I want to give as much content to remind people of the work we need to do. Right. And at the same time, given of content that also says, celebrate who you are.

And it's like, it's the both, right? Because you need to take a pause. There are days where I'm like, I just need to celebrate and I need to be really grateful for a man. And they're like, no, I need to start working now. You know, and you need both, and it's never right to just do either or. Because if you just celebrate it all day,

you just be complacent. And if you just were hard, tough love with yourself every day, you get worn out. That's the biggest challenge of life is balance. And I guess, like, kind of like you said, it's just being able to listen to yourself and know what you need. What is it time to do? Is it time to like hit the pavement run or is it a self-care day where I just

gotta take care of myself and say it's okay, you're doing good. Or is it a tough love day? Or it's like, get up and go. I don't know. It's just, it's this ever-fluxing, like ever figuring it out. And that's so funny the way you put it up., do I tell people to like love themselves, like celebrate or go. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And with all the new music that you're creating, do you feel like this storytelling was what really brought it to be even more powerful to what it's ever been before? Like the comic, the music videos. Like I feel like there's just so many elements to how you keep challenging yourself in a positive way. Right. Well, it's funny because I've always, see, I've realized I'm more of a storyteller, I think, even than a musician.

That's what drives my creativity. And it always has been like a lot of times I get the music video idea first. And then I write the song so that I can make the video because I mean, I went to film school before I was going to be a director before I ended up realizing, actually, no, I want to be a violinist, but I'll direct my own videos, you know, so I took like the backdoor approach to directing. Um, but yeah, and a lot of times it was always like kind of one off, like single stories like, okay, this song is about a ballerina that's stuck in a music box. And that was to symbolize like me

breaking free from anorexia, like feeling like I was stuck in this like perfect porcelain, you know, facade of what everyone wanted me to or what I thought I needed to be, and then breaking free from it. You know, and I've done some that were pirate themed or like steampunk, and but this album was really fun because it's like a continuous story. So I've already made like, you know, three music videos for it that kind of, you know, introduce the characters and then tell a little bit of the story, then introduce the villain. And then, you know, and right now I'm I'm planning to more that I'm so excited about.

One of them is like, you know, this beautiful ballroom dance that introduces the love story. And like, so it's been really fun to not just have these one-off moments with like, okay, here's some characters in three minutes of a story. But it's like, no, this is introducing you to a world and like, you know, themes and something bigger than just little bite size. And that's been really fun to like, you know,

and also the tour, it made the tour more fun because, you know, it's the Artemis tour. And, you know, the, the tour. It made the tour more fun because, you know, it's the Artemis tour and, you know, the stories kind of weave through the show, through instrumental music. It's kind of like no one probably knows exactly what's going on, but they can feel it. Yeah, I think that's what I was gonna ask you.

Like, I'm hoping that listening to this interview, my audience already knows you, already loves you and falls more in love with you. And my audience who doesn't know you is gonna go and listen to your new album. That's my hope and that's my wish, that's my recommendation to all of you. What is the feeling that you think people are going to get

from this new album? Like what is it as a listener, as a audience, when someone goes and listens to Artemis, like what are you hoping that they're gonna feel? And what is it gonna give them? You know, overall, so I kind of wrote the album where it starts a little more intense, and then it goes a little bit like to a like a sweeter feeling,

and then it goes to like a super like, so the whole album, it's funny, no one listens to like albums back to front anymore. Like they used to, like when we would go and buy an album from the store. We're the same, yeah, same generation. You can go listen to it front to back. But I still take a lot of thought in like

how the album progresses. And even as I was writing, I would be like, we need a song to fill this gap because I don't have one that creates this emotion. So the whole album kind of like takes you from like intensity to like, ah, but I always hope that when people come and you know, to my show, or when people come to my show,

or when they come to my YouTube channel and see a video, or if they're listening to my album, my biggest hope that people will feel, and I've always said this, light. Even before I had the whole Artemis theme, is I just hope that people will feel light, their own light, their own self-love, and feel empowered, and whether it's listening to the music,

but especially at my shows, I just want people to leave and feel pumped and you know whether it's listening to the music but especially at my shows, I just want people to leave and feel pumped and like yes I can do whatever I want life like I can go out there and I like I just want people to feel full of light and and self-love when they come into my world and you know that's my greatest hope anyway and yeah yeah so I've always felt listen to your music there and and I'm recommending this to everyone who will go ahead and listen to the album too Like I've always felt like this warm and brace for me music Oh, that's how it feels to me at least Thank you. Yeah, it's like a very, you know

Confedying but not in a Confedying but not in a junk food kind of Confedying in a soothing calming like feeling understood feeling Feeling more connected to yourself like I've always felt that way when I've ever watched an EVU work or listened to as well. Thank you. That's my personal experience, and I really, really hope everyone who's listening and watching will go and find it. Where's the best place that people can come and listen, learn, find out about you, whether

it's your tours, your new album? Where's the best place? Well, I mean, I think, for me, seeing an artist's live, I don't know, I feel that's when I get to know an artist. And I hope that's how it is for my music as well. But I think that coming to see the live show, whether it's me or anyone else, it's just like, I get it. You get to fully experience a 360 version.

So I hope you guys come see me live. And if you're not sure if you want to come to the live show, that's like too much commitment for where we're at. I understand. Come visit my YouTube channel. I think that's one of the best places that, you know, because I feel like my music is not just meant to be heard. It's meant to be seen.

That's how I write is I think of these stories. I hope you at least check out my YouTube channel, and then if I win you over, kind of a show. We'll be here in the US in the summer, and we'll be in South America and Russia this year. We're skipping around them. I'm very excited. I love hearing that.

Awesome. Liz, we end every interview with the final five, which is our rapid-fire, quick- five round, which means I ask a question You have to answer in one word or one sentence maximum no more than that. Okay. It was made me so nervous. Good, good, good. Okay. So here's your final five. The first question is the best thing about collaborating with John Legend. Classy. I felt classy. Oh, yeah. You felt classy, not that he's glad.

Well, no, he's classy. Yeah, yeah. Classy is contagious. Classy is contagious. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right.

I love it. What's a question you wish more people would ask you? Spirituality. Okay. Wonderful. I hope we ask you that today. Did. Yeah. Okay.

Good. Question number three. what's one word you'd use to describe the violin? Expressive. That's a good question. This is very good. I'm very happy. I like one example in every word. I know you do, I know.

And I get tempted and I'm like, no, let me help. I always destroy this routine of, okay. When you're struggling to be creative, what's the one thing that gets you creative? Experiencing. Nice, I like it. I want to ask you all, I'm holding back. Okay, and your fifth and final question,

what's the best spiritual lesson you learned in the last 12 months? Love. Do you want to expand on that? Just that there's no pure way to experience spirituality than to just love people. Love yourself. Just, I mean, I think that's the true essence of spirituality is that love connects us all and like when you really lead with love in your life, that's when you find the most magic, the most spirituality, and that's also when like people are people, not objects, not you know, something to be like gained from or, you know, lost from or whatever.

Like people are people are beautiful and they're people and love, I think, is the greatest connection for me to spirituality. I love it. Thank you, Lindsay. Lindsay's telling everyone, make sure you go and follow her on YouTube on Instagram, go and check out our website, go and listen to and download the new album, Automus as well, make sure you check it out. She's touring in the summer. So if this has made you feel the magic through a camera and through, if you've been not been watching but through listening, then please, please, please go and see her live. Lindsay, I hope I get to spend loads of more time with you.

I hope so. Like, I just, yeah, you're amazing. Like literally, you're incredible. Like, I feel so personally inspired by just hearing you speak. Like it's just, yeah, you have an incredible aura and energy, honestly, I'm not just saying that. I felt it. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. Likewise, I was so excited that like I could be here and have this conversation. I love listening to you. I love following what you share and put into the world. And I just think it's inspired me a lot to seek of how can I share more? Yeah, please do. You don't stop sharing the way you share.

Okay. Yeah, we need more of it. Thank you, Lindsay. Thank you so much. Thanks everyone for listening and watching. Make sure that you share with us and tag me and Lindsay in your favorite takeaways from this episode. So if there's anything Lindsay said that stood out and really resonated with you, make sure you post on your Instagram stories on Twitter, on LinkedIn, on Facebook, wherever you post and make sure you tag both of us as well in the post so that we can see, comment and interact with you as well. Thank you again for being part of the on-partners family and I'll see you again next week. Regardless of the progress you've made in life, I believe we could all benefit from wisdom on handling common problems, making life seem more manageable, now more than ever.

I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the One-Dee Feed Podcast, where I interview thought-provoking guests who offer practical wisdom that you can use to create the life you want. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of the One You Feed Podcast, where I interview thought-provoking guests who offer practical wisdom that you can use to create the life you want. 25 years ago, I was homeless and addicted to heroin. I've made my way through addiction recovery, learned to navigate my clinical depression, and figured out how to build a fulfilling life. The One You Feed has over 30 million downloads and was named one of the best podcasts by Apple Podcasts.

Oprah Magazine named this is one of 22 podcasts to help you live your best life. You always have the chance to begin again and feed the best of yourself. The trap is the person often thinks they'll act once they feel better. It's actually the other way around. I have had over 500 conversations with world-renowned experts and yet I'm still striving to be better. Join me on this journey. Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. The therapy for Black Girls Podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal development,

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Take good care. Our 20s often seen as this golden decade, Our time to be carefree, make mistakes, and figure out our lives. But what can psychology teach us about this time? I'm Jemma Speg, the host of the psychology of your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, and much more to explore the science behind our experiences, the psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Listen now on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcast

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