On Purpose with Jay Shetty - MADONNA: For the First Time Ever

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

How do you find peace daily? What keeps you going in hard times? Today, Jay sits down with Madonna for a rare and intimate conversation that goes beyond her iconic career into the spiritual foundation... that has carried her through life’s greatest challenges. For nearly 30 years, Madonna has walked a spiritual path that has shaped her resilience, fueled her creativity, and defined her sense of purpose. Madonna opens up about what first drew her to seek deeper meaning, the practices that became her lifeline, and why she believes spirituality has been the true key to her strength, longevity, and fulfillment. Together, Jay and Madonna dive into themes of transformation, the search for meaning in suffering, the freedom that comes with radical acceptance, and the power of forgiveness to heal our deepest wounds. Madonna shares the moments that tested her most, from loss and betrayal to near-death experiences, and how each challenge became an opening for growth when she chose to see it through the lens of purpose rather than punishment. In the second half of the conversation, Jay and Madonna are joined by her longtime Kabbalah teacher, Eitan, for a powerful exploration of spiritual wisdom in action. They discuss why our struggles and inner battles are essential for growth, and how to reframe challenges as opportunities to reveal greater light. Eitan offers practical tools, from pausing and embracing discomfort to practicing “certainty beyond logic,”  to help us find strength in life’s most difficult moments. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Build a Spiritual Practice How to Find Meaning in Suffering How to Escape the Victim Mentality How to Practice Radical Acceptance How to Forgive and Let Go How to Manifest with Consciousness How to Teach Kids Spiritual Awareness How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others How to Discover Your Soul’s Purpose Every one of us will face moments of doubt, loss, or uncertainty, but those moments are not the end of our story, they are invitations to grow into something greater. The challenges we experience are not punishments but lessons, guiding us back to our true selves.  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.  Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast  Explore the deep spiritual study of Kabbalah with Madonna’s new course, ‘The Mystical Studies of the Zohar’ together with her teacher Eitan Yardeni at www.kabbalah.com What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:44 Beginning a Spiritual Journey 02:41 Choosing Your Spiritual Path 08:26 Breath, Yoga, and Inner Peace 17:40 Do You Need Spirituality to Be Successful? 20:29 Channeling Art Through Spirit 24:56 Transcending Trauma and Pain 27:56 Life Beyond Money and Material Success 30:30 Motherhood as a Spiritual Calling 33:07 The Gift of Being Different 35:54 Teaching Kids Spiritual Awareness 40:37 Showing Up Through the Struggle 42:37 Facing the Enemy Within 48:54 Escaping the Victim Mentality 50:23 How We Abandon Ourselves 54:36 Breaking Free From Self-Pity 56:16 Manifestation with Consciousness 01:01:24 Finding Strength in Community 01:05:53 The Weight of Words and Actions 01:08:57 Letting Go of Hate and Grudges 01:19:44 The Wisdom of Kabbalah 01:21:40 How Madonna Discovered Kabbalah 01:27:25 Unlocking the Secrets of Life Through Spirituality  01:30:55 The Inner Battle With Toxic Thoughts 01:38:02 A Mother’s Deepest Fear 01:40:09 Learning to Accept Help 01:42:02 Freeing Yourself from Harsh Judgment 01:46:31 Four Steps to Inner Strength 01:53:13 Practicing Trust Beyond Logic 01:56:35 Finding Lessons In Life’s Pain 02:02:12 Releasing the Need to Control 02:04:06 Raising Spiritually Grounded Children 02:07:08 Why Overgiving Hurts Kids 02:10:01 The Dangers of Instant Gratification 02:12:06 What Is Your Soul’s Purpose? Episode Resources: Madonna | Website Madonna | Instagram Madonna | Facebook Madonna | YouTube Madonna | X Madonna | FlickrSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is an I-Heart podcast. If you don't have a spiritual life, you're never going to stop and ask any questions. You're just going to plow through life. And you're going to see everything that happens to you as just a random event. I don't believe that anything is random. I think everything that happens to us is meant to happen to us to teach us some kind of a lesson. The number one health and wellness podcast.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only. Jay Shetty. Madonna, welcome to On Purpose. I am so grateful to be here with you today. Thank you for the honor and the opportunity. Thank you for happy me. I'm really, really happy to be with you after lots of FaceTime calls. Yeah. And discussions about this conversation. We're finding to finally be in person. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I wanted to start off by asking you don't do a lot of interviews.
Starting point is 00:00:51 We don't see you doing interviews, maybe even for the last nine, ten years, or give or take. what's your intention for being here today why now why today well in the past i've usually done interviews to promote my work whether that's music or a tour or film um but today i would like to talk about my spiritual life and a spiritual path that i've been on for over 28 years this wisdom has helped me navigate the opposite downs of life, for lack of a better expression. People ask me a lot through the years, like, what is the reason you're still saying? What is the reason you keep going? Why have you not fallen by the wayside like other people?
Starting point is 00:01:42 Definitely a lot of my peers who are no longer with us, like what would you say is the key? and I would say that is my spiritual life. I absolutely would not be where I am or who I am if I did not have that. It's helped me enormously, as I said, navigate the ups and downs of life. So I feel like I would like to share that with people. So that's really the point of I'm not here to promote a product
Starting point is 00:02:15 or I don't want anyone to buy anything. I just, I want to share something with people that has pretty much saved my life. That sounds dramatic, but it's true. Yeah, it seems like it's something that's extremely meaningful to you and a deep part of your life that often I feel you don't get to share in other spaces. So even though it's been a part of your life for nearly three decades, maybe you haven't shared parts of it before, what would your life look like if you didn't find it?
Starting point is 00:02:47 I would believe that the physical world is all there is. I would believe all the illusions. And that would be my downfall. And that is most people's downfall. What does spirituality mean to you? Because I think that word itself means so many things to so many people. Well, yes. I mean, a spiritual life or a spiritual path could mean a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:03:09 I know that you have a spiritual path. And for me, it's not really about who's is the best. or, you know, it's whatever works for you. I've been studying Kabbalah for 29 years. So since 1996, yeah. It's a long time. It's a long time. And I'm not a frivolous person.
Starting point is 00:03:31 I don't suffer fools gladly. If something, if I think there's something false about it or corrupt or not authentic, I wouldn't have stuck around for so long. I've had the same teacher for all this time. I feel almost like it's my responsibility to share with people because I feel like people need guidance. People need enlightenment. And for me, a spiritual life is having an internal life
Starting point is 00:04:01 because you know this, I'm sure. You know, if we get caught up in the belief system that our value in the world is based on people loving us or other people's approval or how much money you have or how many fabulous outfits you have or how many followers you have on Instagram. Those things don't make us happy. Those things don't bring us peace.
Starting point is 00:04:29 So having an internal life and being able to look internally and having some kind of practice, whatever that might look like, your prayer, your meditations, that the time you take out of every day to stop and take stock, like contemplate, we live in a very busy chaotic world. Lots of noise, lots of distraction. I mean, how many times have you heard people say, oh, you know, social media and like all the, you know,
Starting point is 00:04:59 people can't walk down the street without listening to music. Everybody has to be visually stimulated all the time. Like, there is no peace. There's no quiet. We're not comfortable. being quiet with ourselves and looking inward and asking ourselves, why am I here? What am I doing? Or what is my intention and a specific choice I'm making right now, whether it's about my work
Starting point is 00:05:23 or the way I'm raising my children, decisions that I make about everything, really. I have to ask myself. And if you don't have a spiritual life, you're never going to stop and ask any questions. You're just going to plow through life. and you're going to see everything that happens to you as just a random event. And I don't believe that anything is random. I think everything that happens to us is meant to happen to us to teach us some kind of a lesson. But the question is, are you aware enough?
Starting point is 00:05:55 Are you awake enough? Are you interested enough to find out what that reason is? Like, why did this happen to me? What is my lesson? I don't want to go through life seeing everything that happens to me as random but I also don't want to go through life as a victim and I've had a pretty challenging life
Starting point is 00:06:14 and it's easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself or like being a victim or you know why isn't this happening to other people why is it happening to me? Why don't I have what that person has? I'm sure you know the expression comparison is the killer of joy so you know it's like you've got to get out of that game
Starting point is 00:06:33 you have to have a spiritual life. You just have to. You're reminding me of something beautiful that I came across called the third space theory. Have you heard of it? It's this idea that as humans, around 50 years ago, we had three spaces. So we had work, we had home, and then you had a temple, a synagogue, a church, a community center, or a third space. And the point of that third space, it's kind of what you're saying. was a place that you could look back at work and home
Starting point is 00:07:07 and you could reflect on your life, you could take stock, you could introspect. But as time's gone on, what's happened is we lost that third space. We stopped going to temple, church, community, whatever it may be. A place of self-reflection. And we ended up with working home. And then after the pandemic, we lost work. And so now we're in one space,
Starting point is 00:07:29 and we don't have a different vantage point to where we are. anymore, which is what I think you're saying. Go back on even one more step that, to me, is like a prison. If you remove the spiritual life, spiritual practice, you remove the workplace, then you're in the home, and then removed once more from home is you're looking at your phone, which is even takes you out of home. It's a great point, yeah. So, like, where are you?
Starting point is 00:07:59 You're nowhere. We're living in the virtual world. Yeah. Yeah, we're living in the virtual world, not even in the material world. Yes, but a virtual, and a virtual world is not a bad world, but if you don't have consciousness, there's really no point to living. Yeah, it's, yeah, so it's, it's interesting to think about that because I feel like everyone can relate to the idea that if we all had, we need physical spaces to sometimes make us do internal things. Yes, I mean, some kind of ritualistic behavior has to happen. What have been your rituals?
Starting point is 00:08:30 I'm intrigued. I'm curious, what are your spiritual practices and rituals that have been so supportive and emblematic of your journey that have kept you going at the times, as you said, there were so many times you could give up or things could go wrong, or you kept pushing and they kept you locked. What were they? What are they? Well, one really important thing is studying, making time every week to sit down and study. I mean, you can study the bottom. The Bible, you can study the poetry of Cahil Gibran, or you can study the Vedas, you know. And you did that, right? You actually studied different traditions on your...
Starting point is 00:09:12 I mean, to be honest, before I discovered Kabbalah, I was looking for answers. Why do you think that was? Why were you looking for answers? Because I had everything that people would assume would give you happiness. I had successful career, I had fame, fortune, monetary things, physical things, but I wasn't happy. And I naturally sought out, well, when I was a dancer, I had a roommate. She was a Buddhist, and she would get up and chant every day. And so I was very intrigued by that. Like nothing bothered her, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:09:54 Everything bothers me. Everything bothers me. I'm, you know, I'm a Leo. I'm Italian. I'm very dramatic. I wouldn't say she was peaceful all the time, but I was just struck by her confidence and her knowingness that everything was happening for a reason.
Starting point is 00:10:15 She never got upset about things. And this is in the beginning of my career when I was living in New York and I was broke and a lot of crazy things happened to me. It's really scary, traumatic things. And I would always ask her, her name is Marianna, I would always say, why are you, like, never upset? So I attributed that to her spiritual life, but it didn't speak to me.
Starting point is 00:10:37 And then later on, I started practicing yoga, Ashtanga yoga, and my teacher, Eddie Stern, he still has a... Love Eddie, he's great. You know, Eddie? Yeah, he's amazing. I got quite caught up and competitive about, like, first series, second, series, third series. But one thing I noticed is that a lot of people would come into his,
Starting point is 00:10:57 his practice, his studio where he taught, and they wouldn't even do the poses. They would just go and sit in front of the statue of Ganesh or light candles or prayer. And I realized, and Eddie pointed it out to me because sometimes I would have injuries, or I would be traveling, and I couldn't practice yoga. And he'd say, look, are you breathing? And I'd say yes. And he said, you're practicing yoga. So I realized that I was too, still too caught up in the physical poses.
Starting point is 00:11:27 He's like, no, you don't understand. You're missing the whole point. The poses are just something that you do to breathe through, to calm your nervous system down, and to bring you back to your center. And that really spoke to me. There was a big, now it was a painting on the wall of the yoga studio. It says desire and detachment. And I said, what does that mean? And he said, well, of course, we want all the.
Starting point is 00:11:57 beautiful things in life. We want all the pleasures. We want all the happiness. We want it all. There's nothing wrong with that. You can't be attached to it. Because then if you're attached to it and you don't have it, what's going to happen to you? So I studied that for a while and I studied Sanskrit. I had a teacher and, you know, I learned that the vibrations of the letters, you know, had a calming effect on your nervous system and centered you and placed you firmly rooted in the earth and all of that made sense to me but then again nothing happens by accident but i was pregnant with my daughter lola my oldest daughter and i suddenly realized i was living in i i suddenly realized i'm going to be responsible for another human being what am i going to teach
Starting point is 00:12:45 her i'm just i'm like a meteor like making my way through the you know the on this planet like you know I have great survival instincts I have a great work ethic yes I'm very ambitious all of those things but I was never like I was just knocking him down you know what I mean and not like looking back like I'm going to be somebody because that's you know that's why I came to New York in the first place I will never go back to the nobody life I had when I was a child growing up so I definitely was fueled by an inner drive, but I would not say that I was spiritual or conscious. When I was pregnant, I suddenly realized I knew nothing.
Starting point is 00:13:37 And I was a slave or a victim of other people's opinions of me. And I didn't have really, even though it looks like and looked like I was confident, brave audacious whatever you know I deep down inside
Starting point is 00:13:59 I was not so I was at a dinner party while you were pregnant yeah I was at a dinner party
Starting point is 00:14:05 at my friends in L.A and there was a woman sitting next to me and I knew her vaguely she's a costume
Starting point is 00:14:14 designer she was a costume designer her husband's a director and she said oh you should come with me to class And I said, what class? I'm open to classes, by the way.
Starting point is 00:14:27 I love being a student. So what's the class all about? She said, there's a teacher there. It's something called Kabbalah. It's next to a synagogue. And I was like, wait, so he's Jewish? And she said, yeah, but it doesn't have anything to do with being Jewish. It's just a belief system, not a belief system, like a philosophy about life that, you know,
Starting point is 00:14:50 you could learn a lot from. And I said, okay, I'll go. So I did. And that's how I met my teacher. And I literally would sit in the back of class for years. Mostly men were in the class at the time. But everything that he said seemed to make so much sense to me and gave me courage to be who I am and who I meant to be
Starting point is 00:15:14 and made me actually think about intention and a real sense of purpose. because my sense of purpose can't just be I want to be rich and famous or I want to be popular or I want to sell a lot of records because none of that lasts but it wasn't until I went to class that I actually started thinking about those things
Starting point is 00:15:34 so I just kept going and here I am today but you know motherhood or being a parent is really what made me start asking questions that I most likely I should have asked them sooner but I didn't because I was just caught up in my self.
Starting point is 00:15:53 I love that story for so many reasons. One of them being that my journey to my spirituality had certain similarities in that, not that I was pregnant, so definitely not that one, but I had a friend and friends who were starting to get interested in spirituality, and they invited me to hear a monk speak.
Starting point is 00:16:14 And I'd seen monks while I was growing up, but I'd never really engaged with one or really understood what they did or meant. And I'm so glad I said yes to going along. And I was very young. I was 18, 19 years old. I wasn't even seeking. I was open and I was curious.
Starting point is 00:16:32 And to be honest, I was doing what everyone else was doing at that time when you were 18, 19, 19 year old kid, like, you know, experimenting. Experimenting and doing everything else under the sun. But I'm so glad I went because now looking back, I find that after meeting the monks that I met, it gave my life a compass at a very early age that I'm so grateful for because it changed the entire trajectory of my life. I can't imagine what I would have ended up doing in the same way as you did. And it sounds dramatic, but it's true that without the group of friends that invited
Starting point is 00:17:05 me to go along and meet my teachers, who'd become my future teachers, I can't imagine what life could be like. And are those teachers still your teachers? Yes, absolutely, still since that time so it's been nearly 20 years now that that's meaningful yeah very meaningful and are your friends that came with you still also studying or one of those one of those yes absolutely one of those friends was my best man in my wedding and he studies under the same teachers still this day that's cool yeah what about the woman who took me to class no okay no she doesn't stick with it are you still in touch with her at all or not yes i am sometimes yeah yeah it's it's amazing to hear that you had this ambition and this drive to become successful and at the same time there was this spiritual
Starting point is 00:17:52 calling that was almost happening simultaneously how did you reconcile the two when to the external lie they could look very opposite how did you actually see them like look weird you mean not weird in the sense of i think a lot of people assume that spirituality and success don't go together a lot of people would think that's absurd those are narrow-minded people i mean you need to be spiritual to be successful. Success is having a spiritual life, period. It's interesting because I had this boyfriend some time ago and after we broke up, we saw each other years later and I was telling him about Kabbal. He's like, oh yeah, that makes a lot of sense because you grew up as a Catholic. I know how religious your mother was. And I was like, no, no, that's not what it is
Starting point is 00:18:42 at all. It's got nothing to do with religion. Everybody has to find the path that speaks to them and resonates with them. But I do think it's important to have one. And I dare say if you didn't have a spiritual path, you wouldn't be as successful as you are today. I will make that assumption in your work, in your marriage, in your friendships, all your relationships. It honestly, it sounds like a really, like a cliche,
Starting point is 00:19:10 your spiritual life even. It's like the reason, but it's just got a bad rap. You know, you like 100% can have a spiritual life and be successful. I wouldn't be here if I didn't have one. Let's talk about how your spiritual life has impacted your different roles because you played so many roles in life. And let's start with artists because that's what the majority of our viewers and our audience will connect with you on. Your spiritual life has directly impacted your art. When did you feel it was first introduced to your art?
Starting point is 00:19:43 How was it introduced? How would you use it to inspire your art? About a year after I started studying, I made my Ray of Light album. And that is 100% influenced by my study, my spiritual practice. Like a door opened for me. And I suddenly, and maybe I was spiritual without knowing it unconsciously. And some things happen, I mean, often things would happen where I would have visions or I would get ideas.
Starting point is 00:20:14 and I would manifest them. And if you're too busy, just sit for a moment and think, wow, that's so amazing what just happened. I channeled that. Like, you don't actually know that you're tapping into another dimension until you start paying attention to the idea that there is more to life than you and I sitting in this room on a chair. Like, if you believe in energy and you believe in universal laws and you believe in quantum physics,
Starting point is 00:20:41 like the possibilities are endless and miracles the idea of miracles is is not a foreign concept it's not a lucky strike you know what I mean it definitely affected my work I became conscious of the fact that I was and am I am channeling light that's what I'm doing it I don't own it it's not mine I am a vessel for it I'm a vessel for this light wit in turn, my goal is to share with other people. Now, I can do that through my work. I can do that through my music. I can do that through my relationships with people.
Starting point is 00:21:24 I can do that as a friend. I can do that as a mother, as a parent. So you realize that it informs every part of your life. But the one really important thing, well, one of the many important things that my teacher taught me was that I am not the owner of my talent. I am the manager as long as you keep that consciousness
Starting point is 00:21:45 and you're aware people who run to say I did that that was my idea I mean you created an opportunity for yourself by allowing yourself to be a vessel
Starting point is 00:21:59 for this call it what you like magic I think it's magic I think when you channel artistic ideas and you have creative visions it's magic And when you think it, overthink it, or you start thinking about how much of that you own, you stop it.
Starting point is 00:22:19 That's why a lot of, I would say, this is my observation, that a lot of people have these great kind of meteoric careers, and they rise up, and they take the world by storm, and they influence the masses, and then they just, something happens, and they can't handle. the light and they're not even aware of it and it in a way they fly too close to the light and it burns them yeah that's that and i would say that's really true about my many of my peers that i had i was lucky enough to know them um whether that's prince or michael jackson or or um jean michel basquiat the painter like these are like people who had just were channeling light. Channeling, but I also don't think they understood the concept of what they were channeling
Starting point is 00:23:19 and that there has to be some kind of restriction, there has to be some kind of filament, there has to be, you know, like people like to take drugs, right? Why? Because it makes, they're actually channeling light where they're, you know, tripping on acid. But it's light with no restriction. and then that's what kills you or burns you out. That was never your path to the life.
Starting point is 00:23:45 Oh, no, no, no. No, thank God, because everybody was being around me. What kept you away from it when everyone else was doing it? The universe. God, honestly, people ask me that all the time because I grew up when I came to New York, when I was broke, and I had no friends, nowhere to live, nothing really. what protected me from, you know, I was held up at gunpoint, I was robbed, like, I was
Starting point is 00:24:16 raped, like all these horrendous things happened to me, but I just feel like I've always had a guardian angel. It just, it took me a minute to figure out that, how blessed I was, and that the universe was protecting me and looking out for me. Was that a realization that came after? Because, I mean, when you're talking about it? After what? Well, when you talk about the events of, I mean, getting raped, being held at gunpoint, these are extremely traumatic, stressful. I mean, the most extreme tragic events people could go through in their life, the realization
Starting point is 00:24:52 you're sharing today, how long, talk to me about the journey of having that experience and then getting to the realization you just mentioned because I'm assuming it's not immediate. No. And what's through that arc? Well, first, there's just my determination that I think I was so, I had such an unhappy childhood that whatever happened to me in New York City, I was like, whatever happens to me is better than what my life was. So I'm sticking around. I'm not going back. But you see, the worst things that happened to you are the best things that happen to you.
Starting point is 00:25:28 Because if that had, if my childhood hadn't been what it had been, if I hadn't lost my mother, if I hadn't had. had all of these challenges as a child, I would have thought of my home as a place of comfort and I would have gone back. But I didn't, so that's what kept me going. And then, you know, there are challenges in my career, even though I was very successful. I went through many periods of time where the press was speeding up on me. I was demonized. What kept me going? I don't know. Like I said, guardian angels, but again, I wasn't conscious of it until I was pregnant, then I started to see, like, everything started to, like, come into focus for me. But it's not, I make it sound like it's an easy thing, like, studying, like, the more you know,
Starting point is 00:26:17 the harder everything is. And the more enlightened you try to become, the more conscious you try to become, the more tests you have, the more, you know, it's like, why? Like, like, the more you know, the more you realize you don't know, and the more you aspire to become. conscious, the more you feel like everyone's trying to drag you down and take you out of it and convince you that it's not true or, you know, the tests. Yeah. And, you know, life is a test, let's face it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:50 I was thinking about, as you were saying that a bit earlier of managing that balance between recognizing you are a manager of the light and you are not the light itself. I was thinking of this story about Marcus Aurelius where he was followed around the Roman town square by an assistant and the assistant's only job was to whisper in his ear, you're just a man, you're just a man. Because people would praise him and people would shower him with accolades and compliments
Starting point is 00:27:24 and the assistant would remind him and it said that that was done so that he could always remain grounded. I can imagine for you to not fall into the trap of believing you're the light is extremely difficult when you're one of the best-selling artists of all time when you, like you said, you name the company there's only the Beatles, yourself, Michael Jackson,
Starting point is 00:27:47 that sit in this esteemed group of individuals who've achieved incredible things. How did you hold on to that beautiful belief that you're not the light and you're a manager of the light when anyone else could easily believe they were. By continuing to have a spiritual practice, a spiritual life, by continuing to study, like always pulls you back to center. Were you able to keep it up when you were like on tour
Starting point is 00:28:17 or when you're building you album? Absolutely. Wow. I drove everyone crazy. My manager's like, why can't we have shows on this night? Or why are you late? Because I'm praying. Like what? You know what I mean? People who are only focused on, absolutely, pray before every show, but people who are focused on making money are definitely not focused on spiritual life. You have to have your feet in both worlds. You literally wouldn't do a show on a day because that was your study day. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:52 Or I would be late. Yeah. I get a lot of shit for being late. Walk me through. Honestly, it's really hard to balance being a parent, having work, having a spiritual life. You're constantly juggling. There's not a lot of time to rest. And if people don't recognize that, then they're just going to look at you in a very 1% superficial way and go, you're late.
Starting point is 00:29:17 It's like, but you don't understand what I was doing before I became late. I want to talk about how spirituality affected you, your role as a mother. Obviously, you said that becoming a mother yourself is actually what even began that enlightenment. It kind of began that journey. It felt like a responsibility. It felt like a moment of change how is well my mother died after giving birth to all my brothers and sisters so literally like the year after my youngest sister was born my mother died so i i always equated motherhood with death so and i also equated it with i could see she was not happy i could see she wasn't living the life she wanted to live i equated it with death i or i equated it with no freedom or i equated
Starting point is 00:30:23 with no life except taking care of other people. And so when I came to New York and I started my career, I was like, no, this is not for me. I don't want to be a mother. I don't want that. I wasn't saying it out loud, but I was thinking of that. Like, why would I give all of this up? I worked so hard for it.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Well, one day I found that I was pregnant, and I had been running away from it for so long. And I wouldn't say I was in a stable relationship, but I loved her father. So I wasn't really thinking it through, but I was like, okay, this happened to me. So it's meant to happen to me. So, but honestly, what, what the hell am I going to teach my daughter? Like, how am I going to guide her? I've just been living this, you know, completely selfish life, really, that, you know, turned out good in many ways, but in reality, I was doing everything for my own self. And I also kind of thought,
Starting point is 00:31:28 well, you know, okay, I'm pregnant it. So I'm going to be a mother. So I'll figure it out. I'll work it out. But honestly, I was scared shitless. And I wasn't in a traditional relationship. And once again, like, this is the story of my life. I keep binding myself in unconventional or untraditional or unusual or unfamiliar places and I have to keep adjusting and I say that I would say that that is also the reason that I am still here and still going and have the strength to fight things or to survive because being too comfortable in life I would say is the downfall of a lot of people who started off taking chances, taking risks. Is that something success does to you, do you think, where in the beginning you take risks
Starting point is 00:32:21 and you get out for you? I feel like that happens to other people, not me. I think I've always felt like an outsider in life. I felt like an outsider growing up in Michigan. I felt like an outsider when I came to New York. I felt like an outsider when I moved to L.A. and had my Hollywood life. you know, I always felt like I did when I was in high school.
Starting point is 00:32:45 I don't fit in. And not fitting in is what saves you. And that, you know, studying Kabbalah. Nobody else was interested in it, not my friend group. And if I would speak about it to people, they'd be like, oh, that's really interesting. Having a spiritual life isn't necessarily going to make you popular. But if you're a conscious person searching for truth, then it's going to be interesting. Like I'm interested in your spiritual path, your spiritual life.
Starting point is 00:33:13 I want to know what you do, what it does for you. I want to know how you do it because I'm curious. And curiosity and being an outsider and those are the things that actually save you even though it's not supported in our society. Like to think outside the box, to take the road less traveled by, to not be so concerned with approval, public approval. And now we live in a world where everyone follows algorithms, and algorithms are the opposite of taking chances.
Starting point is 00:33:54 They are the opposite of being unique. They're the opposite of spiritual life. They're the opposite of consciousness. That's why artificial intelligence cannot duplicate consciousness. it can duplicate doing things following formulas but it can't duplicate consciousness so now have we gotten really off the same
Starting point is 00:34:16 I love it there it's great to be in your stream of consciousness and on that point I'll get back but I often get asked the question right now when I'm on panels of do I ever believe that AI will have a soul and my response is always I just hope that the people
Starting point is 00:34:32 who are building AI have a soul because ultimately it's becoming a reflection of whatever's inside of us. But I digress. Going back to how, gone, you're going to say something. No, you're right. Yep. The people who make it. But are they?
Starting point is 00:34:49 Yeah, that's the most important part. That's the scariest part. Yeah, the intention and the purity. Intention and consciousness. Yeah. Yeah, I just repeat that like a mantra. Consciousness is everything. Consciousness is everything.
Starting point is 00:35:02 But a lot of people don't even know what that is. When you became a mom and you're trying to teach your children about, I guess, I'm assuming you wanted to pass some of these teachings on. Yeah. I mean, they grew up learning it and studying it, studying or listening to me, study with my teachers or listening to other people. And they would bounce back and forth between thinking it was silly or something weird that mom does. But I see that it has impacted all of them. What makes you see that? work? Because they study. Not all of them, but I feel like my children who have a spiritual
Starting point is 00:35:39 life are happier than the ones who do not. But obviously they could start at any time. It could happen I'm not, you know, there's no coercion and spirituality. It's like if you, either it speaks to you or it doesn't. Yeah, I remember my dad was trying to get us to do things for so long and you've rejected it so hard because. Yes, well, that's the other thing. Children always reject their, their parents, the path they follow, their belief systems, they think it's stupid, and then they come back around a little bit. Totally. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Yeah, there's that famous quote that says, the day you realize your parents were right, your kids are telling you that you're wrong. And I think it's an often common experience that people have. Yeah. How did Kabbalah impact your, and your spiritual practice impact your role as a daughter? Because like you said, you lost your mother when you were five. To a certain extent, I resented my father growing up because I felt like he wasn't present for us emotionally. He did have a lot of responsibilities, and he's a deeply Catholic person, but I felt like he followed his spiritual path, or he followed Catholicism because that's how he was raised.
Starting point is 00:36:54 That's how it was done. When I was growing up, if I wanted to ask a question about why do we do this, why are we genuflecting, why are we receiving the body and blood of Christ? Why is, my father didn't have an answer. He'd just say, that's what is written. And what drew me to Kabbalah was that I could ask questions, and there were answers. And questions were invited, which is the opposite of how it was brought up. So I looked at my father as kind of like a religious robot, you know what I mean? Not that he's not a good person, but I didn't want to be a robot.
Starting point is 00:37:29 and especially having a spiritual life, I started to see my father as a human being and see that he was a human that made mistakes and that he did the best with what he was taught, what he was given. When those cylinders start clicking in your head, you start to have a lot more compassion, not just for your parents,
Starting point is 00:37:54 but for all people who don't see life the way you see it that you don't agree with, it brought me to a place where I could have more compassion for him. I mean, that seems like a really big gift to have the understanding. And I could agree, I think spiritual context creates so much compassion when you are able to zoom out and look at someone's life. Like, I remember the moment I really had compassion for my dad was when I visited the home he grew up in, which was this room, I mean, I can't even compare it to this. His home was like probably just from here to here, like his entire home.
Starting point is 00:38:41 And they shared a bathroom with 20, 30, and families. Yeah. And we went outside. I was nine years old. We're in India and there's cockroaches around us in Pune. There's cockroaches around his home. There's bats in the, you know, and it's just like, and inside. And I was nine years old.
Starting point is 00:38:58 and I couldn't believe that, you know, that's where my dad grew up. And it was almost like something clicked where I was like, unless I saw that, I wouldn't have had that experience because it was always easier to assume that their life. Yeah, well, that's the thing. Like I say to my kids all the time, like, you're judging me by the chapter you arrived in. Like, this is not how my life has been. And it's really hard for kids to see that.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Yeah. Yeah, going there was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me. because it's what you're saying. I was able to go to a previous chapter in someone's life. And even though my childhood, we weren't well to do or we didn't have anything, but we didn't have a lot. Going to see that, I was like, oh gosh, my life is a million times better than this.
Starting point is 00:39:44 And having that context was huge for me. I want to hear about how you were able to apply these principles in the difficulty of the big things you're talking about because whether it's reconnecting with our parents, it's, whether it's recovering from being raped, whether it's dealing with these challenges you've dealt with, as you said, it doesn't happen overnight, it's not easy, it is the level of study and work. But talk to me about the emotional journey of shifting from a victim to whatever you would
Starting point is 00:40:15 call this on the other side, because it would be very natural for anyone to feel that way. I want to hear about the emotional journey and the spiritual journey you went on, what some of the steps or stages that you saw that if anyone who's listening or watching can recognize and potentially relate to you. The first thing is you're suffering all the time. If you don't have a spiritual life, like you're just suffering all the time. And you really think that whatever is happening to is like something that's never going to end. And you drew the wrong card. That's how you feel, yeah. That's how I used to think. And even now, since I've been studying, There's been times where I've been really challenged and really suffered in certain situations.
Starting point is 00:41:02 And I, if I didn't have a spiritual life, I don't know how I wanted, you know, there were moments in my life where I wanted to cut my arms off. I wanted, I actually contemplated suicide. And that probably sounds really weird coming from me because I'm not that, I'm not emo, you know what I mean? But I was like, I can't take this pain anymore. but as soon as you understand that what's happening to you is a challenge that you are karmically meant to experience and learn from and evolve to a higher level of consciousness then you can look at that event that experience as a lesson and not punishment what pain at the time pushed you to that place of potentially wanting to take your own life
Starting point is 00:41:52 I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm not in the blame game. That's the thing. I used to be that way. And, uh, I used to always want to seek revenge, you know, somebody did, to be wrong. Um, or I would pronounce loudly, oh, well, you know, they'll get their own karma. Well, whatever, you know what I mean? And even knowing about karma doesn't mean you're a grown up. It doesn't mean you're not being a victim.
Starting point is 00:42:26 But I would say probably one of the most painful moments in my life where I honestly couldn't see the forest for the trees was when I went through a custody battle with my son. And I, you know, even though my marriage didn't work out, I mean, a lot of people's marriages don't work out. They marry their own people. They're not aligned. They're not meant for each other.
Starting point is 00:42:52 someone trying to take my child away from me was like they might as well just kill me that's really how I was thinking and I was on tour at the time so I had to go on stage every night I would just be lying on the floor in my dressing room sobbing I really thought it was like it was the end of the world I couldn't take it I just couldn't take it um but thank God I don't feel that way anymore. And I had to keep, you know, studying, like continuing my studies and continuing on my spiritual path, like, helped me to understand that, you know, the enemy is within. Talk to me about that. You know, lots of people do lots of bad things and make a lot of bad choices or make choices that cause other people pain, suffering, or chaos or whatever. But at the
Starting point is 00:43:49 end of the day, I needed to learn some lessons. And I can see that with a benefit of hindsight, but I couldn't see it at the time. And also, I was abandoned as a child by my own mother. And so losing a child, it was like life repeating itself. I couldn't accept it. And so it caused me a lot of suffering. And not being able to accept things causes all of us a lot of suffering. So, yes, and now, you know, I'm happy to say that I'm really good friends with my son. But I couldn't see it then. I really thought it was the end of the world. So, you know, thank God I had a spiritual life.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Was the lesson radical acceptance? Yeah, exactly. It took me a long time, actually, several years. radical acceptance is just accepting that what is happening to you is meant to happen to you and that you're going to be okay I mean it's not an instant thing there's no such thing as an instant thing there's no way we're going to escape suffering even if we grow up with wealth and privilege and you know it didn't grow up in a small room you know our challenges and our
Starting point is 00:45:09 suffering is going to come to us in a different way I can give you another example of radical acceptance, and that is, and this is something that my teacher shared with me. About a year and a half ago, I was rehearsing for my tour, a tour, and I got a bacterial infection, and I, one minute I was alive and dancing around, and the next minute, I was in the ICU unit of a hospital, and I woke up from being unconscious for four days. I got out of the hospital. They took me off of, you know, the ventilator, I started to breathe on my own. And I had something, it's called sepsis, and it's like, it can kill you. Yeah, that's really bad. And everybody recovers at a different rate. And so, you know, I've always
Starting point is 00:45:57 seen myself as superwoman. So I was like, oh, I'm going to, I'm going to, this is going to, I'm going to kick this. I'm going to be good. I'm getting back into rehearsals. And I had no strength. I had no energy. I couldn't get out of bed and I didn't know when it was going to end. And I used to talk to my teacher all the time. And he's like, the sooner you accept what's happening to you and that you don't know when it's going to end, the sooner is going to end. That made so much sense to me. And of course it did. But I mean, I've heard some people never recover from it, completely never recover and have their like full health again so again it's the same idea same concept like if you sit around feeling sorry for yourself or what woe is me or poor me or
Starting point is 00:46:43 this is like I don't accept it I will not accept it well then you're just going to be swimming and suffering you're reminding me of something I read in a it's not a spiritual book but it has a similar message. It's called Culture Code by Daniel Coyle. And he talks in this book about how when soldiers were out at war, a lot of them wanted to believe they'd be back by Christmas. And there were the others that accepted that they had no idea when they were going to get home. And he talks about how that those who accepted that they had no idea when they were going to get home were actually happier and were able to endure what they were going through a lot easier. then those who hoped they'd get back on Christmas and then didn't.
Starting point is 00:47:31 Yes, it's like the Victor Frankel book. Yes, same concept. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And it's such, it's, when I hear it from those really extreme scenarios, you're like, wow, if Victor Frankel can think that, you know, in the experience that he had, you go, okay, well, and Edith Eager with the gift. And you go, wow, like, yeah, if you can have that experience there, then there must be some truth to that.
Starting point is 00:47:56 Because how could you accept that when you were going through the worst? Yeah. Yeah, it's really, really tough. Going back to your experience of that, what would you say, because you mentioned karma there and this idea of choices we make and lessons we need to learn, and karma almost being this experience of learning the lessons, how do you see karma, how do you define karma from your learnings and studies and let's stop there and then i'll ask the second question after that my personal understanding is that our souls choose the lives that we are born into
Starting point is 00:48:37 the circumstances we are born into that our souls are perfect but then we're born into a life which is one challenge after after after the next and that we our journey is to navigate and to like see that each challenge that happens to us is our karmic destiny it's energy it's the law of it's quantum physics it's cause and effect whatever's happening to me that might be uncomfortable is obviously meant to happen to me to teach me a lesson and if I don't learn that lesson at that point I'm gonna it's going to come up again and again and again until I learn it and accept that it's a lesson, not a punishment.
Starting point is 00:49:29 So that's how you get out of victim mentality also. What was the lesson that kept repeating for you and took you a bit longer than you would have liked to learn? What was the one that kept showing up? Betrayal or abandonment. Sometimes they go hand in hand. But it really kept me. I saw a lot of people, or I felt and experienced that I was constantly being either abandoned or betrayed.
Starting point is 00:50:00 So that kept me in a state sometimes often, like feeling sorry for myself. I was stuck in a place of blaming others and not taking responsibilities for, well, how did I bring this upon myself? Or why asking the question, well, why is this happening to me over and over again? I need to learn something. I think everybody, if they think about it, what is the thing that always comes back to you? Like, for everybody it's something different, obviously. I think the abandonment thing was the greatest lesson to,
Starting point is 00:50:39 that I could teach me, that I could stop being destroyed by it or paralyzed by it, was to think of all, Like, how am I not showing up for other people? How am I abandoning other people? How am I abandoning myself? How long have I been not listening to myself? My inner truth, my inner voice, yes. And we all say goodbye to our inner selves at some point or another
Starting point is 00:51:09 until something wakes us up. Push has to come to shove for everybody. There's just no way to escape it. So that's something that is a concept that you have to get your head around. There's no running away from being tested. There's no running away from experiencing pain, suffering, whether it's physical or emotional. I mean, and that obviously that takes life experience and living and, you know, going, everything's going well for me.
Starting point is 00:51:42 I'm so happy. Everything's great. Oh, no. this is like this is a failure people are writing negative shit about me like you know or this relationship ended or this person cheated on me or this you know like all these things that happened to you rejection like and then you go and you go no I'm not happy if you're going to go life like being a slave to these like ups and downs you're just going to be like I don't know how you can last, obviously. I mean, it's obvious to me. I don't know if it's obvious to you or
Starting point is 00:52:17 anybody who's watching this, but I don't know how we can maintain our sanity. And especially now, I mean, when people lived simpler lives and we didn't see what was going on in the world, and we didn't, like, we weren't so connected like we are because of technology and the internet, whatever um it's hard not to get like anxious or start blaming or taking sides or feeling you know what i'm saying yeah i loved i loved what you said this one line will stay with me for a long time i really really thought it was beautiful you said we all say goodbye to our inner selves at some point and and that really landed because that's why it feels like We're coming home to ourselves when you, and I think everyone who's listening or watching,
Starting point is 00:53:10 can, if they've started their spiritual journey, they've started their reconnection journey, they know what that feeling's like where it's like, yeah, wait, when I left myself, and now I'm coming back to myself. Yes, I always say, what was I thinking before I was thinking? Right. I don't even know. So, I was just thinking about myself. but ironically and paradoxically when you're just thinking about yourself and consume with yourself
Starting point is 00:53:40 you're actually not connected to yourself at all you know what I mean yeah when so how did how does it change now when you go through betrayal or you go through rejection or any of those things that you talked about how do you process it differently now with your spiritual practices than you did before what's the different experience you have of it well I spend less time feeling sorry for myself, being a victim, blaming, and more time thinking, okay, why did this happen to me? What's the lesson? I mean, I go to that sooner than I did before. What's the difference between self-blame and accountability? Because I feel a lot of people fall into the trap of, now you don't go and blame other people, but you blame yourself and you go, I messed up, I should have
Starting point is 00:54:26 chosen right, I should have done this. Okay, well, self-reflection and acknowledging and being accountable for your behavior is not the same as feeling guilty. That feeling guilty is just you're consumed with your ego. Shaming yourself. Yeah. So you're not going to get anywhere with that. It just stops any kind of growth from happening. It's pretty amazing to say that you can speed up to that point of asking yourself
Starting point is 00:54:48 that question of what can I learn from this. I mean, that's the ultimate question. Yeah. And believe me, it's not something that stays with me all the time. It's like sometimes I forget. And I'm like, I'm doing this again. I'm doing it again. I'm falling back into a familiar pattern, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:05 But if you don't know, then you're not, like, it's important to know, again, not beat up on yourself. Well, okay, I made a mistake. What can I learn from it? Swallow your pride. Tell your ego to shut up, basically. You mentioned the word manifesting earlier and channeling and being a vessel. and I wanted to ask you because manifesting becomes very popular in the world today as a concept. It's at least out there. People understand the word. Now when people would look at your career,
Starting point is 00:55:40 they would assume you've manifested incredible amounts of success for yourself, incredible amounts of wins and all the rest of it. Talk to us about your process of manifestation. What is it actually look like? If you're manifesting things and you're not conscious that it's a gift from the universe, from the light, from the creator, whatever you want to call it. If you're not aware of that and you're not conscious, then, okay, you invented something. Great. You created this thing that now is selling billions, but everything becomes finite when
Starting point is 00:56:23 you're not manifesting with the consciousness that you are... channeling something you don't own it so that's a big thing that's the key part yeah sure so whatever if i have a successful show if i have successful if anything happens to me successfully like it's perceived as a success in the outside world i just say you know that's i i how blessed am i i manifested that with the help of God. I didn't do it on my own. I do nothing on my own. And if you think you're manifesting on your own,
Starting point is 00:57:11 you're like an ostrich with your head in the sand, and there will be an end to whatever you're manifesting. So if someone desires something, they've got to recognize that it's not their hand. It's something that they're willing to become. I mean, it requires work to be conscious. It requires work to see that you're channeling something and being a vessel for something. So you do have your part in it, but you're not on your own. That's the point. And a lot of us feel like I'm going to do this. When I do this, I'll get this. And when I get
Starting point is 00:57:52 this, then I will be this person. Right. But that's desire for selfish reasons. You know, manifesting success is whenever you want something for the sake of sharing when you want something just for yourself like I'll be happy when I have 10 Bugatti's and a mansion in every major city and I'm the brand ambassador of Louis Vuitton no offense to Louis Vuitton just throwing that out there but you know what I mean like those things like really make people happy but it's it's short-lived And sooner or later, everybody comes to that realization anyways. It's just whether it's sooner or later. And these are the things.
Starting point is 00:58:34 I talk about this in our studies. Let's get back to why I'm here, and my intention is to share my spiritual life with people. We talk about in our studies, we talk about manifesting, and we talk about being a channel. And, you know, I share in one of the studies I talk about, writing my first song, for example, and how I taught myself how to play the drums,
Starting point is 00:59:02 and then my friend, my boyfriend at the time, was in a band, and he taught me how to play guitar, like just simple chords. And when nobody was around, I would start playing with all the instruments and start without thinking, without any, like, I'm going to be this or I'm going to be that. Let me just, I just sat down and wrote a song for the first time. And I was very conscious at that moment after it happened, where did that come from? How did that happen? I didn't grow up with musicians. I didn't grow up with songwriters. I didn't have a goal to be that. Where did it come from? And so when you start like opening your eyes to that, where did, how did that happen? Where did that come from. Then you see
Starting point is 00:59:50 you see the possibilities, you see the magic of the universe of life and you see that, you know, that was a gift. Some angels showed up in my room and, you know,
Starting point is 01:00:07 what am I going to do with that gift? So these moments happen to you throughout life. They happen to everybody. Whether you're saving someone's life or or you have this incredible idea for some life-saving invention, you know what I mean? We're all blessed with those moments
Starting point is 01:00:25 and it's really, the important thing is to acknowledge where that came from. That's really manifesting. I love that. That's my favorite explanation and manifestation I've ever heard. Truly, it really is because I think what often happens
Starting point is 01:00:41 in substitute of what you said is we have an idea and then we try and manufacture that set of inputs and outputs again to get that again and then it doesn't work and then we're confused because like wait a minute last time I did this and did this and did this and I got this and now I'm trying to do it again and then you get stuck because now you think you can't do it but the reality is that's just a very functional way of looking at something that's far beyond input, output, and manufacturing. You can't manufacture to manifest. It doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 01:01:17 Nope. Yeah, I really, really like that. I really, really appreciate that definition. And I think that's going to help a lot of people because I think the way it's being talked about right now is just being, be clear about your goals and be really clear about what you want. I mean, that's important, too. Say out loud what you want out of life. that is important
Starting point is 01:01:41 but you're in a partnership that's really what's important to remember and we become our environments as well so we want to surround ourselves with people with like-minded individuals and if you are around people who also are attaining to reach a higher level of consciousness
Starting point is 01:02:01 or want to know the deeper meanings of life or want to look inward and figure out what their karmic destiny is or even take into consideration the idea of karma i mean you need that also because if you don't have that support system then you can also fall back into the trap of recreating formulas that work or um trying to capture some magical moment and make it magic again and that's just our ego taking over and telling us you know i did that i did that i can do it again yeah yeah and you can't.
Starting point is 01:02:54 One of my favorite ways of thinking about it, especially when you said it's a partnership, is when we look at the universe, everything's always serving. So the sun's providing light and heat. waters obviously giving us life oxygen exists trees are giving us shade and fruits and flowers and so in order to really be in partnership with the universe one has to want to serve because everything is designed to serve and give and everything's designed to give and serve and provide and so when we're not
Starting point is 01:03:28 serving we're actually acting against the universe yeah because everything in the universe is designed simply to give where we're wired for generosity but educated for greed and when that juxtaposition comes up against itself it just creates friction it's like we all feel better when we do something for someone else absolutely we all feel more joy when you take care of someone in need more than if you did it for yourself and the science and the research backs up as well this isn't some woo-woo spiritual idea no it's absolutely the truth but it's amazing how our conditioning and education is so the opposite it that we all believe that every man for himself yeah yeah yeah that's the statement no how much unconditioning does it take for us to lose the every man for himself mindset what does that look like
Starting point is 01:04:17 in your spiritual practice and journey especially and not fall back into that trap you mean to continue to have a spiritual life spiritual practice to study i love how simple it is to stop every you know whether every day, once a week, people don't have some kind of ritualistic moment in their life. Like I said, whether it's every day or a few times a week, like what's going to stop you? You know what I mean? You have to have that moment where you're thinking about what you've done, thinking about what you'd like to do, thinking about what, you know, have I capitalized on the opportunities that have come my way, not monetarily, spiritually. Like, what did I do to help someone?
Starting point is 01:05:11 What have I done for others? I mean, that's really the only way you can be successful in life. What were you trying to channel when you were creating in your music and what were you trying to do to help people? Well, in the beginning, I just wanted to be somebody. I just wanted to be somebody. like I wanted to have a voice. I wanted to make a difference in the world,
Starting point is 01:05:31 but I wasn't clear about what that meant. Now I'm clear about what it means. What is it? What does it mean today? That everything I say has weight and gravity and that words are powerful and actions are powerful. And I always ask myself,
Starting point is 01:05:47 why am I doing this? Why is this song important to me? Why is this performance important to me? Why is this conversation we're having right now important to me that's really the difference is like having intention and consciousness we're really like I'm repeating myself over and over again I can't think of other words that capture that but self-awareness self-awareness doesn't really do it because self-awareness kind of implies like selfishness you know what I mean a day at the spa not that that's not something to be enjoyed
Starting point is 01:06:22 I could I could use a day at the spa right now yeah sure my roof has been leaking for a month. Yeah. I want to go to the spot. That's okay. But that's not going to bring me lasting happiness. Well, I think that's the reality of it, right? Like when you look at your experience, there's this, everyone's experience is this paradox where
Starting point is 01:06:42 it's like you have the highest highs, the lowest lows. You have a life that, of course, you need everyday self-care, but there's also what is lasting happiness and these bigger questions. We all live in this world, but we're not of this world. it's almost like everything that it makes more sense to recognize it's both and as opposed to either or. Well, you have to live in the paradox. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:06 It's like the greatest amount of light is where there's darkness and you can reveal the most amount of light when you're in a dark room, you turn on the light. When you're in a room that's already light, there's no effort made. So should we look for darkness? You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:07:24 Should we, but no, but when we are in that space where we're feeling dark, where we're feeling an absence of light, an absence of hope, an absence of inspiration, of vision, then you have to, those are the moments, the challenging moments where you have to say to yourself, this is my opportunity to bring light to a dark place. You know, spiritual wisdom is not helpful when everything's going your way. it's helpful when you're challenged and when you're happy it's helpful to remember that at any given time in any moment it could be gone
Starting point is 01:08:06 so don't take it for granted have humility be grateful when things are going your way and when you're being tested also be grateful that's a hard one that was a hard one for me it still is but I'm glad that I know what I know
Starting point is 01:08:22 one of the key aspects of this beautiful study series that you've created is we've talked about some of the themes today we've talked about karma there's manifestation there's desire there's all of these themes that exist and one of the big ones that really stood out to me was forgiveness because you know when i listen to you today and i even watched the studies that you created that i'm hoping our audience will go and watch and appreciate and learn from as well, you've conquered and continue to try to conquer some really difficult emotions, like really, really difficult things. And I feel like forgiveness for us in the world today is probably one of the hardest things for us, whether we've been betrayed, whether we've been lied to, whether we've been exploited, whether we've been taken advantage of. And we always hear the age-old phrase of forgiveness is for you, it's not for them, and you hear these things. But it's... Right, wait, who says that?
Starting point is 01:09:24 It's, I mean, it's common like verbiage that exists in the world at least of this idea that, you know, don't hold on to grudges. Well, you shouldn't. We shouldn't. And it is ultimately
Starting point is 01:09:36 liberating for us to forgive, but obviously the world benefits from our empathy, our ability to forgive. Talk to us about that conditioning. Well, I'm a fighter. You know,
Starting point is 01:09:49 if somebody messes with me, they're going to get it. And you've always been like that. Yes. But, you know, when things happen to you and there's not a tangible enemy that you can, like, put your finger on, like, what are you going to do? You have to lean into radical exceptions. But, you know, there's things, you know, there are things that have happened to me in my life that I just thought, I will never, I will never forgive this person. I will never.
Starting point is 01:10:16 Now, I just don't, I don't want to have those feelings anymore because there's. really, it's a prison and it's poison to not be able to forgive and to live in a state of like holding a grudge or hating someone or wanting them to suffer. It's like a kind of poison. It's like a kind of cancer. That's why it's important to find a way to forgive even people that you perceive as your biggest enemies. For a really long time, it was my brother who died recently. because I think the hardest ones are the people that you feel like you're the, like, you're the closest to, they're your greatest ally, and they turn on you. The people that hurt you the most are the people that you love the most.
Starting point is 01:11:03 And when life doesn't go the way that you expected it to go, that you suddenly, this pain is unbearable and that you think what's going to save you is to think vengeful thoughts or to never forgive. Like that's going to give you some kind of power, magical power. it doesn't just weighs you down and eats away at you and is poisonous so having to forgive my brother knowing that I had to forgive my brother was you know it's like your ego downsers around it like yeah yeah yeah I'll get to it I'll get to calling him up or talking to him or being his friend or helping him but eventually I did and I know I'm being mysterious if someone you
Starting point is 01:11:48 you love deeply betrays you and does something that shows that they have no consciousness in that moment that they made that choice to do that. It's really, it's a bitter pill for me to swallow. I can't speak for everyone, but I imagine that lots of people feel this way. I'd agree. For my brother, I didn't speak to him for, you know, for years, years and years and it was him being ill and reaching out to me and saying I need your help and me's having that moment like am I going to help my enemy you know that's how it fell yeah and I just did and I ended up and I felt so relieved and it was such a load off my back such a weight that was removed that was moved baggage that I could put down to finally be able to be in a room with him and holding
Starting point is 01:12:48 his hand, even if he was dying and saying, I love you and I forgive you. That was really important. And that was another thing that I realized when I woke up in the hospital, forgiveness, that word came to my mind. Like, I have to forgive people because I was there. I was almost there on the other side. And I had a conscious moment. And my mother, appeared to me, and she said, do you want to come with me? And I said, no. My assistant was in the room with me, but I was still unconscious, but she heard me say no. And then when I did eventually wake up, I realized that the no was about me needing to forgive and make good with people that I still held grudges against.
Starting point is 01:13:43 So, and interestingly, I wrote a song about him. I'm working on new music, and I wrote a song called Fragile, which is about my brother. And then I wrote another song, and this is, again, just channeling. It's called Forgive Yourself. But the repeating phrase, the chorus of the song, is if you can't forgive me, forgive yourself, which is something we all have to do. We have to forgive others, but we also have to. to figure of ourselves and stop beating up on ourselves about things, choices we've made in
Starting point is 01:14:15 the past that haven't worked out for ourselves or other people. Taking responsibility, again, we come back to that concept also, or that idea of being countable and being responsible. Taking responsibility, that's a very big lesson that I learned studying Kabbala is that I am responsible. I am responsible. And every, and I believe in personal accountability, personal karma, and I believe in global karma, like a lot of the things that are happening in the world is as a result of our selfishness as people, as humans, as a society. We are responsible. You can't just sit in your room or your house or the safety of your home and go, those people are, you know, they deserve it, whatever. To be aware and conscious that
Starting point is 01:15:08 you're contributed in in some way shape or form. And at the same time if we have collectively and consciously evolved to a higher state of consciousness, we
Starting point is 01:15:25 can change the world. That also sounds like a cliche, but make the world a better place. Tip the balance, so to speak. But that's why I'm here. And that's why I'm talking to you. And that's why I made these this is why I documented my studies with my teacher
Starting point is 01:15:42 because I really believe that this wisdom can help other people in a very practical way, not in an esoteric way and that's why I'm here. Thank you for sharing that and that journey you went on of forgiveness because, yeah, for you to be that honest and vulnerable and explain that that was someone that you felt was an enemy at that point,
Starting point is 01:16:03 but the relief you felt from helping someone it, I mean, that's like, you know, I'm thinking about the people that are listening and watching right now and the experience that they're having where they're really struggling to forgive themselves or forgive someone else and looking at it from the point of view of what would that look like if you never got that opportunity. I know so many people who regret the last thing they said to their parents
Starting point is 01:16:32 or the last thing they said to a loved one or whoever it may be. And it seems that vengeance and spite doesn't seem to heal the soul. Well, harsh words and harsh behavior is energy, and you can never take it back. But you can change your destiny, your karmic destiny. And one of those ways is to forgive others and forgive yourself. Madonna, you've been so gracious with your time, your energy and vulnerability and vulnerable. vulnerability today. I feel like I've learned so much about you. I've very grateful to get. And you said you repeated yourself, but I'd honestly say that I enjoyed that because it shows to me the good
Starting point is 01:17:21 training is good repetition. And so if you have the same, if you have a similar mindset towards something, it's not, in the material world, we look at. Well, you only get good at something if you do it a lot. Yeah. In the material world, we know that, but we often look at repeating as, I have heard that before I know that, but actually the thing we think we know the most is the thing we need to hear more often. And when I think about the Gita or the Vedas, you're the soul, not the body, is the most repeated lesson. It's the first lesson, but the most repeated. You're the soul, your consciousness, not the body, is repeated more than any other teaching, even though it's the most obvious and it's the first teaching. Very obvious, but so look how attached we are to physicality.
Starting point is 01:18:05 Exactly. So you need to repeat it. But I was thinking that this might be a perfect time because you've been referencing in this conversation. You've referenced your teachers so many times. And we're fortunate enough today to actually have the opportunity to invite him on to the show. And if you're open to, I think this may be the perfect time. Should we do it? Yeah. Let's do it. Perfect. Hey, Tan, I'm so grateful that we actually get to speak to you. Madonna's been talking about you the whole interview. And I want our audience to know, of course, you were sitting in on our conversation as well. And so you have context of everything we talked about. And of course, you have 29 years of context of everything Madonna shared with us over the last couple of hours. But thank you so much for doing this and thank you for being here. Thank you for having the honor of being here and being part of really sharing this.
Starting point is 01:18:55 teachings. Yeah, well, I was sharing with you earlier that my vision when I started my platform was to make wisdom go viral, especially ancient wisdom. And so this is truly my heart's work. And so thank you for the opportunity back. I want to dive in because we've heard about Madonna's journey and her journey to Kabbalah. But I would love to hear how you came to it because I'm assuming everyone has their own spiritual journey of awakening or connecting. And I'm sure many of our listeners is today either on their spiritual journey, one to start one, but I'd love to hear, how did you come to this practice yourself?
Starting point is 01:19:31 I started in a young age. I grew up in Israel, in a non-religious family. And from a young age, I was asking question about life. I think it came from the depth of my soul. It's beyond because someone taught me or anything. And when I was 17, my brother introduced me to Kabbalah. I went to the Kabbalah Center and I met my teacher for many years, the Rav Berg. And after hearing one hour of a lesson of how the universe began and why are we here, it resonated
Starting point is 01:20:11 in such a deep level, literally I couldn't sleep for three nights. And I felt I'm home. I felt I'm reconnecting to really my purpose, what life is about. And it took a few years, and by the age of 21, I knew that's my mission in life. So basically, in the last 40 years, that's what I'm doing all day long. Student and a teacher in the last 40 years. That's beautiful. Like I was saying earlier, I felt like I came to my work when I was 18. And so I'm a couple of decades behind you in my journey.
Starting point is 01:20:57 But that idea of discovering something early and it resonating so strongly with your heart and committing your life to it, what was it like when you first met Madonna? What was that first interaction? Like from your vantage point in your perspective, tell us about it. I don't think she knows, but when Madonna's friend, which started with me, called me and told me, I'm bringing Madonna to a class tonight. 40 people.
Starting point is 01:21:27 So I told her, you know, I never saw a picture of Madonna. I heard their name. So. Cute. So don't worry, she'll sit in the back with me. So that's actually the first time. So you had no idea what she looked like.
Starting point is 01:21:45 No, I didn't have a clue. In those days, I was pretty. Naive. you were plugged in yeah it was totally in mission and i didn't i heard the name madonna but he didn't actually recognize and then did you connect that evening was that way that evening actually we set we did that evening actually we set in the conference room because we set it in vents it will meet and madonna was very suspicious of me i can relate to that yeah i can relate to that What's the agenda here?
Starting point is 01:22:24 What's happening? But listen, she had many students. But one of the amazing qualities of Madonna is perseverance, tenacities, in the ups and downs. And trust me, I've experienced and seen a lot of ups and downs. but I always say when you constantly nurturing your soul your soul will guide you
Starting point is 01:23:00 our soul is the part within us which knows all the answers that connected to the higher force 24-7 it is our body our logic our ego the layers in our
Starting point is 01:23:16 hearts that's blocking us to see and to feel the truth when you just agree with some spiritual concept and once in a while learning so wow it's amazing i love it it's not enough you need to nurture the soul yeah that that light of the soul and that wisdom of the soul and that intuition that come from the soul will channel back its energy to your life because the source of all protection And the source of all true joy come from the soul. So she has that an amazing and amazing attribute of tenacity and perseverance. Not giving up. Not giving up, no matter what.
Starting point is 01:24:05 One of the reasons I like going there is because it was like it was the only place where people didn't bother me about who I was. I literally sat in the back of a room with folding chairs. as I said there was mostly men and no one said a word to me no one bothered me no one said oh my god aren't you Madonna can I have your autograph for like whatever like I just felt like I could be anonymous there
Starting point is 01:24:26 was that the first time you'd experience that in your career at that time? Well for a long time yeah so with a large group of people and strangers so I liked the anonymity of just being a student and going there and learning and it had nothing to do with my career
Starting point is 01:24:42 or work or yeah So that was inviting. So I wanted to go back. And then I would always bring my notebook and take notes. And I have a zillion journals from all of my classes and studies. And I love to be a student and learn. And I was learning so much. And I also was so, what I loved so much about cabal and studying cabal,
Starting point is 01:25:06 it was how in tune it was with science and quantum physics. And, you know, it wasn't just. just because, you know what I mean? Everything made sense to me. And I could see how, you know, even the idea of, you know, how the world was created or the beginning of life, the idea of, you know, Genesis, for instance, or the idea of Adam and Eve, I learned that nothing in life can be taken literally. You have to study the deeper meanings of everything. and that is true for a spiritual practice as well as science
Starting point is 01:25:47 as well as everything we do in life you can't judge a book by its cover you can't take things literally and I was like oh like when I was growing up as a Catholic I would always say to my father why do we have to you know why do we have to address this to church why does the you know like
Starting point is 01:26:05 you know wear a hat cover your hat what like there was no explanation for anything and that really bugged me so if you can't find a reason if you can't explain something to me I'm not interested so he did explain things to me and they all everything made sense
Starting point is 01:26:21 nothing was silly what we do study when we study Kabbalah is the we study the Zohar and within the Zohar is everything about life, about medicine about science
Starting point is 01:26:36 about nature about relationships and that was really comforting to me to see that's what helped me see life is not a series of random events Eton you mentioned I mean as I'm listening to Madonna speak about this as well you mentioned that obviously you know this tradition is 4,000 years old how first book that was written but it was before it was before
Starting point is 01:27:06 right right yeah so it's put into right Yeah, it was put into the technology of books 4,000 years ago. How did it come to be? Like, tell us a bit about the history of it so that we get some context of the tradition. Actually, the first book that was ever written in Kabbalah was three pages long. It's called The Book of Formation
Starting point is 01:27:26 that was written by Abram de Patriot. And it's reading in such a coded way and will not get any understand the secret of life and the wise of life. At three pages. Three pages. That's cool. Yes.
Starting point is 01:27:39 It's a lot of commentary, but yes, three pages. And then the main book of Kabbalah, after many Kabbalist teaching from one to another, was the book of the Zohar, or the book of splendor that was revealed 2,000 years ago. And the Zohar is actually the codified the Torah, decodified the Bible. and helping us to understand the Bible is not a book of stories or laws or religiosity or dogma.
Starting point is 01:28:17 It's the secrets of life are hidden there. And the Zohar, the main book of which we have it today translated to English and to other languages, it's actually helping us to understand that everything in this, this world as a purpose and a reason. And if you're asking what really Kabbalah is about, Kabbalah is about understanding the whys of life of the universe and why I'm here and what is my purpose and why are we struggling and what is the journey of our soul
Starting point is 01:28:58 and where we came from. And if the creator is such an infinite force of good and love how come we all struggling, either with pain, with doubts, with negativity, with selfishness? So that is the main book of Kabbalah, and of course was many Kabbalists throughout history since then that were able to bring Kabbalah down to us. And in 1970, that's when the Kabbalah Center started, which is open. the gates and the doors of Kabbalah to all mankind. You're talking about the whys of life and the questions and the seeking.
Starting point is 01:29:59 Do you remember one of the first questions that Madonna inquired about or one of the first things that Madonna inquired about or one of the first things. that she was grappling with. What do you remember? I don't even remember. Yeah. So I just, I don't remember in what specific context? There was 29 years. Also, I didn't study with him like this.
Starting point is 01:30:19 Like, I was just a student in the back of a class. It took a while for us to, like, have one-on-one conversations. It took a year or two until we started to meet regularly once a week as well. right as well yeah well so but i think one of the one of the things that i remember speaking to madonna and this is a struggles that everybody have so we get there's a higher power call it god call it the light call it ain't off endless energy of love of giving that is beyond time and space and it's within us okay So why there's evil?
Starting point is 01:31:07 Forget about outside, even inside. Why do we have constantly destructive forces within each one of us? There's a constant chatter. You wake up and gravity pulls you down. Why? A lot of people study today how to overcome that negative force, but why there is a negative force? within us so one of the one of the basic understanding we're talking about it's it's understanding
Starting point is 01:31:42 that the greatest gift the greatest gift the creator gave us is the opportunity to overcome the opponent within because when you overcome you become co-creator the reason why we don't experience enough peace, enough light, enough fulfillment, it's very simple. Like attracts like, you want to experience the light, be like the light, be a being of sharing. But part of what the light is about is a creator. So the gift to overcome negativity within is the gift of being the creator. Imagine you were given everything. You're born with talents.
Starting point is 01:32:31 You're born with love. you are born with just helping people all day long that's your natural tendency no negative force tried to pull you down no selfishness do you think you really will be able to actually experience and appreciate the force of the creator
Starting point is 01:32:50 the force of love the force of light the force of true fulfillment the answer is no so while sometime we'll upset why I have this particular negative voice in my mind. And why do I have to struggle with abandonment issue?
Starting point is 01:33:09 And why do I have to struggle with moments of sadness? At a moment you realize one second, this is the greatest gift to create or give you. It doesn't mean you right away know how to overcome it. Maybe we'll share some tools how to do it. But the fact that you accept the greatest gift in this world, is the gift of overcoming. And it doesn't mean it has to be with suffering.
Starting point is 01:33:37 Actually, it doesn't mean. But the fact that you accept that opponent within you, it actually was created by the light, by the universe, by the force of good to help us to grow. Imagine you bring, spoke about soccer a little bit before. Imagine you bring your kid to play soccer and you bring them in front of a goal and with the ball and say,
Starting point is 01:34:08 now score. Will it be fun? No, he needs an opponent. He needs a goalie. He needs to overcome something. Without overcoming anything, will never have a sense of true fulfillment. And we're not talking about overcoming
Starting point is 01:34:23 the external challenges, which is part of life. but recognizing the unique challenges each one of us needs to overcome. We call it karma. We call it Kabbalistically Tikun. Each one of us have a unique areas of transformation. And everything that life presenting to us
Starting point is 01:34:44 is to present these opportunities of overcoming. And as a result, allow my soul to shine, my gifts to shine, my true purpose to shine. that's beautiful i love hearing that it's uh it's so interesting to hear how that which we believe to be the obstacle is actually the path and it reminds me of and i know madonna you studied the gita as well origin's dilemma in the first chapter so origin's a warrior he's an archer to be specific and he's in the middle of a battlefield.
Starting point is 01:35:29 And on one side is his brothers, and on the other side is his cousins. So it's all family, the opposing side and his side. And he's on his chariot in the middle of the battlefield, and he's talking to God. And God is serving him as his charioteer. And what he's expressing to God is his doubt,
Starting point is 01:35:51 his anxiety, and his insecurity. And that's how it begins. It begins from a place of doubt. doubt, stress, fear, pressure, which is what engages him to ask the question. And it's so interesting that we often think that doubt and anxiety are the problem, but often they are the seed of where the question comes from and why we even look up or look around and question what's happening in our lives. And it's almost like doubt is the direction and anxiety is beautiful.
Starting point is 01:36:24 Right? Like there's, it's similar, isn't it? Well, something has to wake you up, whether you need some kind of pressure. Whether you're standing in front of a goal or you're, you know, trying to win a war. Well, your pressure was becoming a mom. Yes.
Starting point is 01:36:40 It's, yes, it was, you know, and coming to terms with, you know, is also, you know, is my life as a, as in my career, as, you know, as an entertainer is going to change? is it going to be over? Like I said, I associate motherhood with death. So it's
Starting point is 01:37:00 like, what's going to happen to me? Like, I needed to be rooted somewhere and I needed to have certainty, but you can't have certainty unless you start with doubt. Exactly. Like she mentioned before, Madonna mentioned before, that the greatest light
Starting point is 01:37:18 hiding beyond the greatest perception of darkness. So if darkness manifests itself as fear or the unknown or the uncertainty or the doubt or the weakness, so one of the practices is actually ability to pause and allow yourself to feel it for a second because there's a great light hidden there. Yeah. What did you help?
Starting point is 01:37:46 What do you remember helping or what advice would you have given to Madonna at that time to help her connect the dots? I think the phrase that she's repeated a few times in this conversation of seeing motherhood as death is such a strong statement that it makes so much sense from your experience when you connect the dots. How did you encourage her to reflect on that association? Yeah, we didn't necessarily speak about that concept,
Starting point is 01:38:13 but about other challenges and fears and perceived pain. Abandonment, we talked about that. abandonment absolutely I think also you don't want to love or be in love or be attached feel attachment because then you could get hurt so that was a big issue for me like I'm good on my own like as a warrior surviving like don't with me I don't need help I don't need any help like I'm good but then you need help and then it's hard like to say it and say I I I I'm doubting myself. I'm, I'm, I don't feel like a warrior.
Starting point is 01:38:59 Yeah, that's, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the greatest archer of his time, yet his bow is slipping from his hands because he's like, I can't shoot an arrow and he's the best. And that, that feeling of, I think we all have that, like, you, you so beautifully talked about it at this idea that we've been given so many gifts. We have so many talents, and I think a lot of our audience today, in the world, people have forgotten the gifts that they have. And then we often get into this feeling of low self-esteem. You know, we don't feel worthy.
Starting point is 01:39:35 We don't feel we have a purpose. And I feel like that's where the world is today. A lot of people who are listening and watching today probably feel like they don't have something to offer. Or maybe they know kind of what they have to offer, but they don't feel confident enough. what would your teachings and some of your guidance say to those kind of people who are sitting there thinking I kind of you know I don't have that confidence in myself I don't I don't really know what I'm going to do and they're feeling stuck I think like madonna mentioned she felt weak she didn't feel her personality of being a warrior so there's a big difference between personality
Starting point is 01:40:20 and soul strength. Talk to us about the difference. Yeah. What's the difference between personalities? So Madonna always been a warrior. That's her personality. That's part of her gifts, but it's not necessarily mean
Starting point is 01:40:38 that she'll channel a warrior's attributes in a soulful way. But we identify with that. I'm a warrior. When I'm a warrior, I'm strong. When I'm strong, I'm happy. When I'm strong, I'm meaningful. When I'm strong, I matter.
Starting point is 01:40:57 And when suddenly you go through a situation that threaten that ability to be a warrior, to be strong, to be independent, suddenly you feel fear and emptiness. And what I would recommend, what I would share with Madonna, I would recommend anybody. In order to find your strength,
Starting point is 01:41:17 start with the challenges of today it's not about finding my purpose in the future and let's break it down to simple that's a great point is such a great point it's brilliant simple four steps how do I handle a challenge today so step number one I just wanted before you dive into the steps that is beautiful I absolutely love that mindset
Starting point is 01:41:48 I think it's such a great I hope everyone who's listening and watching right now it's such great advice because we're so fixated on finding, discovering looking for the answer in some point in the future
Starting point is 01:42:00 and it just keeps feeling postponed and further away and I love what you're saying is that the challenge in front of you right now is the purpose Exactly It's a beautiful How do you connect the light
Starting point is 01:42:11 with the energy with your soul with the blessing that's available in this very moment? Oh, good. Sorry, yeah. And that will lead to other blessings. That will open doors.
Starting point is 01:42:22 That will attract clarity. We face a challenge. All of us, it can be challenge at work. It can be a challenge at home. It can be just, I start to compare myself to someone else, and it triggers lack. All of us, doesn't matter how spiritual we are, and doesn't matter how successful Will have at least 100 times a day, lack will be triggered. Fear today.
Starting point is 01:42:53 Even today. Yeah. Absolutely. Every day. It's like the comparison game. At least 100 times a day. I mean, that's what social media is for, really, to make you feel bad about yourself. Unless you recognize that that is an illusion.
Starting point is 01:43:12 That's not reality. Oh, this is an opportunity. Right. an opportunity for me to not engage. Exactly. And to actually find light in the moment. Just actually to conquer your fear in that moment or to conquer your repetitive behavior of,
Starting point is 01:43:27 oh my God, I wish I had that. Oh my God, I wish I was that person. Oh my God, I wish that my life was like that person's life. Like if only I had dot, dot, dot, dot. You know, it's like to stop yourself in that moment and conquer that moment, which is I'm good enough. I'm everything that I need. I am
Starting point is 01:43:46 I embody it I just have to reveal it but that's a really hard one I think especially for women you know because we are a condition to like want to aspire to be this beautiful or this great of a mother
Starting point is 01:44:04 or you know this great of a homemaker or this great of a you know it's a test every day to not judge yourself and to not like feel like you're lacking in some way, like you say. And when I say my prayers, part of my prayer is that I rise above my limitations and that I rise above my nature and that I don't get sucked into the vortex of lack, which can come
Starting point is 01:44:33 in so many different forms. And tune in to, you really have to be consciously like going, like your head is a radio dial, like going, like, no, I'm not. That's not me. You know what I mean? It's a constant conversation you're having with yourself. Yeah. So true.
Starting point is 01:44:54 So that's a really relatable problem. And it requires work and it requires paying attention and being aware. And we also get caught up in, you know, we live in a world. It's just distraction, right? So easy to get distracted. It doesn't mean you're not supposed to have fun. Like right now, I really want to have fun. But not that you're not fun.
Starting point is 01:45:15 Oh, we're not having a fun? I think we're having fun. But yeah, it's just, we live in a world of distraction, so it's so easy to get pulled off the track of, you know, what am I doing? What am I doing right now? What am I doing to myself? Like, I'm already there. I got caught, you know what I mean? By the seed of doubt and self-judgment and comparing and I'm not good enough. Therefore, I'm going to be in a bad mood. or I'm going to shout at my child or, you know what I mean? It's like, it takes so many different forms. And like the greatest thing in the world is to be able to stop yourself before that happens.
Starting point is 01:46:00 But it does require constant vigilance. Yeah, absolutely. It's amazing to hear you say that you still feel that way. Yeah. That's helpful and validating for all of us. That's part of the path of transformation. Sorry, back to the tool, yes. So really because without what is lack is the illusion that there's no force of good,
Starting point is 01:46:26 you are not protected, you are not loved, you are alone, you're sad, you're disconnected. And the practice to overcome that, not just in meditation throughout the day, which is very powerful step number one as you face the challenge before you get as the reactive process of lack and negative thoughts tell yourself say these words pause what an opportunity I don't know why it's an opportunity but I know every moment of lack it's a gift from the universe to help me to reveal greater light and a blessing in my life. Step number two, don't fix it yet. Embrace what is.
Starting point is 01:47:28 Embrace the difficult feelings. Because in order to find light in darkness, you need to be there with courage a little bit in darkness. We want to fix right away. We want to get rid of what bothers us. to get rid of the fear, we want to get rid of the insecurities. We can't stand it. We don't like the discomfort. And how do we want to get rid of it by being reactive, by blaming, by judging ourselves, by jumping after opportunity for insignifications, by being self-destructive?
Starting point is 01:48:08 Pause, embrace. It's okay. And part of the reason of studies developing trust it's okay embrace first what is and then go to the next level when you say embrace do you mean to meet it positively in that to me as it is to allow it yeah to allow it because sit in it yeah allow it not because i want to stay there because that's part of the process yeah of revealing the great light of my soul yeah it almost feels that often what happens is is because we've tried to go to the light so much, sorry, it often feels that because we've tried to go to the light so much, we don't know how to sit in the darkness.
Starting point is 01:48:54 Exactly. We want to go to the good so quickly. We don't know how to sit in the bad. And that's when you develop strength. And there's a concept Kabbalistic. The discomfort. Yeah. There's a concept Kabbalistically called certainty beyond logic.
Starting point is 01:49:08 Explain that. Which means I'm trusting, even though I don't feel it. and it doesn't make sense that actually I'm led towards anything positive but I'm trusting beyond logic that this experience is for my best even if I'm guilty and feeling horrible about mistakes that I've done
Starting point is 01:49:34 it's okay you're going to get to the part of learning the lesson don't fix it don't erase it certainty beyond logic So the part of embrace, see, allow. And then you're ready to the next step, which is telling yourself, because our belief system tells us,
Starting point is 01:49:58 it's a moment of darkness, there's no light here, there's no good here. There's no light here. There's no light here. So you need to tell yourself, all the light that I need is within me now. Just tell yourself. Tell yourself, it doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 01:50:14 Logic doesn't agree. The heart doesn't agree, but that's the job of this world to allow the thoughts, the stream of energy that come from the soul to influence gradually the mind and the heart and the body. And again and again, again, tell yourself, all the light that need is within me in mouth. I'm certain to be on logic. It's for my best.
Starting point is 01:50:39 and then show me the way the light, the universe, when you feel less reactive because usually when we experience lack we're reactive we want to get rid of the lack
Starting point is 01:50:54 we want to get rid of the fact and that's what's caused think what's caused evil behavior between people not knowing how to handle moments of lack that's where it starts so forget about others let's start with ourselves
Starting point is 01:51:08 and sometimes we'll fix the lack because someone will tell us wow, you're an amazing person I love you so much and now we feel good and I fixed it I forgot about my lack I forgot about my insecurity
Starting point is 01:51:24 actually I am amazing are you developing true muscles and skills to find the light within or you want to be attached to the external energy that will fix you it will never work
Starting point is 01:51:38 And of course, when you in that place, actions of giving, even if it doesn't make sense, calling someone, adding value to someone, being kind to someone, also help you to shift your energy towards the vibration of the soul, towards a vibration of the light. But we all need to go through this test. you know some people would call it mental illness but we all have that mental struggle we all have that mental struggle yeah in feelings and in our mind so it's a it's actually it's a it's a daily practice to transform it's a daily practice and when you have the courage and you study enough depth that support the understanding that the light is never gone. Yeah. It's my perception.
Starting point is 01:52:41 I see the light. I don't see the light. That is causing me to feel the light is disappear and I'm small and I'm not enough and I'm not capable and I'm not confident. Yeah. That really resonates very strongly because I feel like when you're first, reading this new script you don't believe it and that's why as you're saying the regular study is almost like reading a script consistently a new script because we're already reading the old script
Starting point is 01:53:12 of I'm not good enough I'm not capable enough I don't belong whatever it may be but the one line that I really loved that resonated with me which I want to ask you about madonna is the trust beyond logic because I think that's the phase that most of us give up because we're living in a logical functional material world where if a train's not coming you would leave the station but here the trust beyond logic is now I'm still going to wait here or I'm going to act in a certain way or I'm going to change these behaviors Madonna when did you have to practice trust beyond logic in your life the most where have you seen? I mean every challenge I've ever had once I became aware that I had the power to do that and like making you
Starting point is 01:54:01 art creation is that's nothing to do with being logical doesn't have anything to do with the logical part of your brain you can't measure it you can't predict it you can't control it you have to allow it um so i would say that challenger is like happening on a daily basis Like even now, like I told you my, you know, there's a pipe that burst in the middle of my house and it's like creating havoc and all, I was so excited to come to London to be in my house in London and everything's gone wrong. And I'm like, okay, so there has to be a reason for it. I can't just sit here and like be angry or upset. Like there's a illogical wisdom to. everything that's happening. If that's not being attached to material things, then that could be an option. If that's because all these things are broken, I need to spend more time doing something else.
Starting point is 01:55:09 It's more important than that's, you know what I mean? There's always a reason for something. And you can't logically figure it out. Like, I wish that I could have seen 10 years ahead that my son was going to be my best friend. I was trying to make logical sense of everything. You know what I mean? So I wish that I could knew then what I know now. So there's always, and there's big struggles and little struggles. Like, you can't logically explain things. Like, especially, like, I always use art as a, as an example, because I can tell you that 99% of the time when I'm,
Starting point is 01:55:57 writing lyrics or singing a melody, I'm not thinking about it. That's logic. If I think it's gone or it doesn't come to me. And based on that, as Madonna said, she waited 10 years to see that experience of, you know, her son becoming her best friend. I think a lot of people wonder how is the reason revealed or received? How do we know? Because like you said, it's trust beyond logic. And logic is like, if I do this, then this will happen. And this is like, my pipes are burst.
Starting point is 01:56:53 If I call the guy, he'll come and fix it. Right. Like, that's the kind of way our brain works. When we're trusting beyond logic, it could take 10 years to receive a reason. It could take 20 years. It could take 50 years to really have a revelation on something. How is it often revealed or received when it's not based on logic? Does that make sense?
Starting point is 01:57:15 Yes, it makes sense. What you're asking, number one, is when things don't go your way. And, of course, sometimes... We need to do practical action to make things better and to fix things, but sometimes it's out of our control. Things don't go our way, like the situation with the experience that Madonna shared. So certainty beyond logic is that the struggle that I'm going through
Starting point is 01:57:47 is for my best, but doesn't allow me to be self-destructural. because if I want to speed up the process that I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I need to strengthen and we need friends, you need teachings, you need the right support, to actually trust the universe loves you and it's for the good, as difficult it is. But then you need to ask a second question. When you're ready, when you're not as reactive, what's my lesson? lesson. Why is it in my movie? And sometime, the answer is simple. Every time we experience
Starting point is 01:58:35 rejection. What is rejection? Things don't go our way. It purifies us. Because our mind and our heart is so attached to happiness is when this will happen, which is not necessarily the big picture happiness, what really good for me. Yeah. So when you actually realize that actually that's a purification process and you open and you allow it to happen because all of us are not aligned with the true desire of the universe, if it would be aligned, we would be joyful every second and we will be giving unconditionally every second and we'll think all day long how can I add value to others and because we are not there
Starting point is 01:59:29 and that's part of the gift of life gradual transformation we need moments of rejection but when you question you said hmm where am I too attached what's my lesson what do I need to let go that will support to speed up the process of seeing the light because every fruit in order to become sweet and ripe is very sour as a process actually the botanist
Starting point is 02:00:01 would say that more sour the fruit in the process sweeter at the end it's so easy to throw the sour fruit and to say it's a bad fruit but if you're able to allow this process
Starting point is 02:00:18 and you need a lot of spiritual strength because culture, society, our body, our mind is prone to react and to decide it's bad, that constant conversation in our mind, it's good, it's bad, I'm good, I'm bad. It's that reactive conversation we have within us that actually prolonging the process. So actually faster we embrace. certainty biologic fasting we're asking question because at the beginning you cannot ask because
Starting point is 02:00:55 you're in pain yeah so you just try to at least trust and embrace and embrace and and beg something and asking her but when you're ready to ask what's my lessons because very often we are so touched we spoke about forgiveness to what's wrong with them and we forget that the true purpose of life is my own transformation and elevation while I'm interacting with other people. So when the conversation is no longer about that good, that bad, how did they do it? And you bring it back to you, how can I elevate?
Starting point is 02:01:35 How can I become better? How can I transform between me and my soul, between me and my perfected self? That's when you inject the energy, then things, the light will be shown faster. Yeah, that's the question. That's the accelerator. We want the pain to go away quicker.
Starting point is 02:02:04 Exactly. But that question is, and sitting with that question, is the thing that actually speeds it up. What are you trying to work on right now, Madonna, that you're working on in your studies? I know you get together regularly, people are going to be able to watch your studies as well that you do together. What's something that you're trying to work on right now that seems very fresh as a challenge,
Starting point is 02:02:27 something to overcome, as you said? The lessons that I learn and study are more applicable to things that are challenging me on a regular basis, which would be, you know, my children. They're always challenging me in one way or another. and that's a big like it's such a big lesson for me to like let go of expectations and stop trying to control the outcome and over worrying and you know I'm just like some days I wake up on this I'm just relieved that they're all okay you know what I mean it's like and I always say to people when you're when you have that many kids you're you're um you're not really a parent
Starting point is 02:03:09 you're a manager you know what I mean yeah and by the way she has amazing kids and spiritual kids, and because of her tremendous effort to infuse, not just with the teachings, with their behavior, consciousness, sometimes you don't see it right away, but we see kids of the kid that actually they're coming around
Starting point is 02:03:34 in the own unique way. So... And also infuriating me. What kind of things triggering me? I mean, I have to stop thinking that, you know, my way of doing things or my way of approaching life
Starting point is 02:03:48 or my way of being an artist is going to be somebody else's or my kid's way of doing it. Everybody has their own journey and it's taken me a long time to accept that. And to let go of control. Why is that so hard as a parent?
Starting point is 02:04:05 Because I feel like so many parents would be able to relate to that right now where we subconsciously or consciously are projecting, living through our children, wanting them to be successful or in not like not even in a not like I want them to be rich and famous I just want them to be happy I want them to be authentic I want them to not compare themselves to other people not worry about what people think of them because they're
Starting point is 02:04:36 my children like we're you know fearing judgment um letting that go helping them to see their own unique gifts. It's a constant battle because also you don't want to come off as somebody who's trying to control the situation all the time either. My weekly studies with Aiton or my daily prayers or whatever are often about, you know, I don't want my children to do specific things. I want them to realize what they were put on this earth to do.
Starting point is 02:05:11 I want them to elevate to their highest level of consciousness and how can I help that? That's it, but it's still hard not to be bothered by things. Things. Yeah, I think that's a very relatable challenge for parents. Yeah. It's a real one. And I guess when you ask that question then,
Starting point is 02:05:37 what is the lesson in this, applying a ton's process, what do you often come up with? Trying to control all the outcomes in life and not getting the outcome you wanted is what makes you suffer. So if that lesson keeps coming back to me, then I guess I haven't learned it yet. And children are a perfect teacher for that because they're never going to do what you want them to do, the way that you want them to do it. you know just get them from here to there without hurting themselves or anybody else you know what i mean
Starting point is 02:06:13 yeah because they too have to overcome exactly yeah you know i didn't i grew up with very little and that so i have a huge desire and then of course you give your children all the things you wanted to have and then you realize that's killing their desire and so you know it's like it's just you're just constantly going oh shit oh shit okay I'm not okay not just be counterintuitive just say nothing that's that's a big one for me say nothing but I'm getting good at it I'm just really getting good at it I appreciate you walking us through that thought process because I think you've summed it up that's exactly what we want to do we want to take away someone's pain or the pain we thought they're going to have because of the pain we had and then you
Starting point is 02:06:59 provide something only to create a new pain and for them to never have the pain that you had but have a completely different version of it, and we do it for everyone we love. And I was going to ask you a time, like, what do you do when you don't like the answer? That question is so important, like, what is the lesson I need to learn? But a lot of us subconsciously may not like the answer we get, and that's where we have to keep learning it again. What happens when you don't like the truth that you're experiencing? So I think part of true spiritual transformation is craving truth.
Starting point is 02:07:37 I want to know really what's my lesson because what's the other option? More pain until I'm going to learn the lesson. So the reason why we're not listening to the voice that tell me, let go of control, or for kids, one of the biggest mistakes. parents do, is overgiving to kids, which in cabalistic terminology, we call it bread of shame, when you give to someone something without working for it, without earning, you're actually hurting them. And the parent might know, I'm overgiving, and it's not healthy for them, but I'll feel guilty to say no. And I'll be popular if I say yes. Exactly. So here is the test.
Starting point is 02:08:28 guilty of saying no versus long-term pain for the kid and for yourself. So actually pause and ask that question that will help you to get closer to the truth and be less in denial and a fork, short-term, long-term. Saying yes just to fix the pain,
Starting point is 02:08:50 to give them what they want, to let them play with the phone, or say no. and it's difficult and they feel bad and they're blaming you but you're doing it from place of love because yes because what's driving us true desire to share in a long term yeah if that's my true and that's the truth am i really coming from true desire to share for a long term sharing not just temporary fix. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:09:29 And when I'm coming from that place, only blessings. You're planting a seed of light, a seed of blessing, a seed of miracles. When you're coming from another place, pretending to be good or nice or kind only because you cannot handle
Starting point is 02:09:46 the temporary pain, you're planting a seed of chaos, which chaos also has intelligent to teach your lessons, but in a longer path. Yeah, I mean, I can relate to that as a kid because I'm not a parent, but it was almost like during your teens, you just think everything your parents say is wrong.
Starting point is 02:10:06 And then in my 20s, I was like so grateful for the discipline and the rules and the, you know, I was only allowed to play video games for like X amount of time or whatever it was. And all of a sudden everything my parents did, I was like, oh, wow, there was actually a lot of good in it. But during my teenage years, you know, I obviously didn't agree with anything they said. And there's such a reality, too, that feeling of the long-term point that you're making, that long-term you realize, oh, yeah, I'm glad you actually didn't just let me eat rubbish.
Starting point is 02:10:36 Or I'm really glad you didn't just let me waste hours playing video games. I'm really glad that you didn't do X, Y, Z, or whatever it may be. And so it's hard, though, because the parent or the person, this could be romance, it could be in any relationship, but you've got to be unpopular in the moment. Absolutely. You have to put aside your ego. And you have to go to that discomfort. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:10:57 Yeah. Which applies at work. It applies everywhere. In anything. Yeah. Especially in the culture today, when everything can be so instant app and ordering food and getting what you want and watching any program and in your phone. So that instant culture preventing a child or an individual to go to a real process. of going through discomfort
Starting point is 02:11:25 or earning the light as we're going saying cabalistically and people don't understand they can be bright how come I'm depressed depression very often it's a consequence
Starting point is 02:11:39 of insangification not willing to go through difficult process so hard so hard we don't want to go through the difficult process and we don't want anyone we love to go through a difficult process, although that is the only process that's going to benefit us.
Starting point is 02:12:00 But we're going to anyway, so. Absolutely. I have one last question to ask both of you. What is your soul's purpose? Why do you think you're here? And what personally was the becoming or the overcoming that you went through to really receive that soul's purpose that you're living by? What was it that birthed that idea within you?
Starting point is 02:12:26 My soul's purpose is to reveal light in the world. To whatever I do, whatever that's being a parent or being an artist, being a friend, being a leader. Yeah. We are here to receive for the sake of sharing. So I have a huge desire. I have many desires. This is not a belief system or philosophy that's about, no offense,
Starting point is 02:13:00 being a monk and going up in the mountains and meditating for hours and hours. I want it all. But I want it for the sake of sharing, not to keep it for myself. Etta? He wants more followers on Instagram. The personal relationship. between me and the light, between me and the creator. I know that I don't want anything less
Starting point is 02:13:26 than connecting while I'm in this physical world to the soul that was given to me and it means total transformation, total desire to receive for the sake of sharing, certainty be on logic until it becomes second nature. That's in a personal level. But one of the ways to achieve it is to connect with our purpose of sharing. So I know in my gut, in my soul, and it was beyond, knowing it was beyond logic,
Starting point is 02:14:00 that that's what I came to do in this world, which is to spread, to be a teacher for the teachings of Kabbalah while I'm studying. One of them is about being to perfectionist spiritually, you know, taking spiritual lessons. to an imbalanced place, something is wrong with me. So, and I know, as long as we're in this world, and if we're truly not settling for less, and that's a message for everybody, I want to say, never settle for less.
Starting point is 02:14:35 Wherever you are, this is just the beginning comparing to your next level potential. So those challenges were necessary to help me to evolve to work. at today. And of course, this is just the beginning. What's that? Donaitan, thank you so much for your time and energy. I've, again, learned so much from both of you today. And I really can't wait for people to watch the studies. I hope that it gives spiritual seekers a opportunity to ask better questions, deeper questions, and
Starting point is 02:15:10 begins their quest for overcoming and becoming whatever their soul's purpose truly. is. And I'm so grateful that you're both living yours, truly. And I'm really, again, thankful for the opportunity to have learned so much from both of you today. Thank you so much. Our honor. Thank you. Thank you. If this is the year that you're trying to get creative, you're trying to build more, I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead to success and the secret to genuinely loving what you do. If you're trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you. Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value. Like, as an artist,
Starting point is 02:15:58 if you like it, that's all of the value. That's the success comes when you say, I like this enough for other people to see it. This is an IHeart podcast.

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