On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Marie Forleo: ON Starting Before You Are Ready

Episode Date: September 2, 2019

On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Marie Forleo. Marie Forleo is a life coach, motivational speaker, author and host of the award-winning show Marie TV. She’s also an international bestselling author and has been translated into 16 languages. She talks about how her starting before she was ready opened up massive opportunity. Marie shares that all your answers are already within you, and gives us steps on how to best access them. She also adds that clarity comes from engagement and not thoughts, she believes we must be physically engaged to better feel our way into our truth. Her new book, Everything is Figureoutable, releases September 10, 2019! Pre-order now https://everythingisfigureoutable.com/freegift/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War II? An opera singer who burned down an honorary to kidnap her lover, and a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, haven't comment. They're all real women who were left out of your history books. You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast. Check it out on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Hey, it's Debbie Brown, host of the Deeply Well Podcast, where we hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness, around topics that are meant to expand and support

you on your well-being journey. Deeply well is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is available now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Namaste. Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Nunehm. I'm a journalist, a wanderer, ever you listen to podcasts. Namaste. place and to really understand it, try to get invited to a local's house for dinner. We're kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party. It doesn't always work out. Ooh, I have to get back to you.

Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Don't just go to the behaviors or the feelings or even the thoughts we need to go deeper to our beliefs because if we can handle that, everything changes. Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you. Thank you for taking out time every single week to listen, to learn, and to grow, whether you're walking your dog, whether you're going to and from work, whether you're at the gym, or whether you're cooking or cleaning

or just doing something around the home, I'm so glad that this is what you're listening to. And you know that my commitment to you is to bring you the guests that I believe are going to help you live a better, happier, healthier, and more successful life. And today's guest is going to help you do just that. Now, I've been following her work for a long, long time.

So for me, this is a huge privilege. I'm so happy to be sitting in front of her and you're about to see who that is. And I just feel so happy because I've seen her interview some incredible minds of seeing her just build this beautiful show. And to be able to interview her today about how that all came about

and all the other stories around it is a huge honor for me. She's a New York Times best-selling author, she's the founder of the B School and the host of MarieTV and today's guest is none other than Marie Folio. Marie, thank you for being here. I'm so excited, Jay. I feel like this has been like in the cosmic making for a very long time. It definitely has and the reason why I wanted to reach out to Marie to do this is her new book is out on September 10th. It's called Everything is Figure Outable, right? I loved that title. I was just telling her outside a moment ago. It was like, I absolutely loved that title.

It's out on September 10th. Hopefully, if you're listening or watching this, it's around that sort of time. That's the hope right now. So you can go and get the book right now if you're listening. And Marie, the first thing I want to ask you about, because I love the title so much, is what is the hardest thing you've ever had to figure out? And what gave you this confidence in this bold, beautiful title to literally

say everything is figure outable? Yes. So I think the way to answer that question is there's been hard things at different stages of my life, which I feel like is true for most of us. You know, there was actually a time when I was a young child. I was about 13 years old and I didn't live with my parents. So I was estranged from them. I was kind of kicked out of my house and there were a few years that things were really difficult. I was in an abusive relationship, like just everything felt like it was crashing in around me. And so I think at that stage in my life,

that was probably one of the hardest things to overcome. And then, you know, fast forwarding a little bit, I think most of us, sometimes we find ourselves in college or university trying to figure out who we're supposed to be in this world, right? How can we make a living and make a difference? How are we supposed to fit into society? I struggled with that for years and I failed so much before I finally found my calling,

which is an extension of what I do now. And then I think even moving on further, there's been times with my relationship with Josh. We've been together 16 years and no relationship is easy and it's not all unicorns and rainbows and smiley faces. And there's been times where we were on the brink of losing each other. And that was devastating to me because he's the love of my life. And this idea has helped me help us get ourselves back on track. And so I've had other challenges with my family. I've had challenges with the business. I've self-confidence challenges.

So I know that's kind of a broad poopery of things to go through. But those are some of the kind of things at different stages of my life. That this one idea, this simple little phrase, has always helped me when I feel like nothing is working. And I feel a bit helpless. It picks me back up. And I'm like nothing is working. And I feel a bit helpless. It picks me back up and I'm like, no.

I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna figure this out no matter how long it takes or no matter how many different areas I need to explore, learn about, test, try until I can overcome. Absolutely, and that's what I love about it so much is because we're going to need that thought in our lives again and again and again and again. It's never going to be a time when you won't need that. Yes. And that statement and it is a simple idea, but it's deep. It's like there's so much to unpack and that's what you do so beautifully in the book when I was

reading it. I was just like, it's a simple idea, but giving someone the confidence that it works is effort and that's why you've written this book because it's not easy enough for us to just keep saying, oh, everything's for growable and we can say that to ourselves as much as we want but it needs to be unpacked and that's what you do in the book. So for one of the things for me,

when I'm reading it is when I'm thinking about my life and thinking about those times when I've needed this. Yes. And I know for me, it's always been like, don't judge the moment. Like I've always said that to myself. I've been like, don't judge this moment. Like, don't label this moment. Don't give it a bad name. And one of the things you talk about in this book is that beliefs are sticky.

Yes. You talk about these beliefs being sticky. Talk me through some of the toughest beliefs that you think you developed at those times and how you stop them from being so sticky. And why beliefs are so sticky too? I think beliefs really are like the train tracks that underpin our lives that really decide where we're gonna go and how we're gonna get there.

But so many times we don't understand that that's really what's running the show, right? Some of our kind of deepest, most kind of subconscious beliefs about who we are as human beings, what we're capable of, what we're not capable of, how we feel about society, men, women, marriage, money, business, you know, all of these things. We don't often recognize that it's these deep rooted beliefs, oftentimes that we didn't choose for ourselves. I think one of the most interesting aspects of beliefs

is you think about us as babies. We kind of pop out and we're pretty fresh, and we're happy. And as we grow up, we're like little sponges, absorbing the beliefs of our family, our caretakers, the media, society. Women are allowed to do acts. Or if I look like this I can only

reach that or you know, money is bad and evil or success means X, Y, or Z. And so I think beliefs are sometimes so hidden to us that we don't recognize that they could be the thing that are holding us back. And you know, working, coaching people over the last two decades now, I can't even believe I've been doing this for two decades, which is amazing. Here's what's something that's interesting. Many times in personal development, people feel like you have to kind of unearth all of your negative and limiting beliefs, and we all have them. But here's what's awesome about the notion that everything is figure outable.

I like to describe it almost as the master key, right? It's like you don't have to go searching around the corners of your consciousness to find all those negative beliefs and fix yourself and change them. If you absolutely adopt this notion that everything is figure outable and I would encourage people to try it before you deny it, we'll walk down how we can do that. But it's as though it's the first domino that you push and everything else becomes possible. Our 20s are seen as this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, full in love, make mistakes, and decide what we want from our life. But what can psychology really teach us about this decade? I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the psychology of your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s. From career anxiety, mental health,

heartbreak, money, friendships and much more to explore the science and the psychology behind our experiences, incredible guests, fascinating topics, important science, and a bit of my own personal experience. Audrey, I honestly have no idea what's going on with my life. Join me as we explore what our 20s are really all about, from the good, the bad, and the ugly, and listen along as we uncover how everything is psychology, including our twenties. The psychology of your twenties hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Now streaming on the iHot Radio app, Apple podcasts or whatever you get your podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, everything that has happened to you

can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it. Kobe Bryant. The results don't really matter. It's the figuring out that matters. Kevin Haw. It's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to create change. Lumer and Hamilton,

that's for me been taking that moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself because I think for a long time I wasn't kind to myself. And many, many more. If you're attached to knowing, you don't have a capacity to learn. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on-purpose with Jay Shetty on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever

you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. The therapy for Black Girls podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help black women dig a little deeper into the most impactful relationships in our lives, those with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends, and most importantly, ourselves. We chat about things like what to do when a

friendship ends, how to know when it's time to break up with your therapist, and how to end the cycle of perfectionism. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the therapy for Black Girls Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Take good care. So, you know, for example, for me, early on in my career, I had some really negative limiting beliefs around money, and a lot of my beliefs around money were formed as a child. You know, my parents were going through a divorce. It was about seven or eight years old. And I remember just

standing in my kitchen and my mom and dad had just signed the divorce papers. And so the scene was this. My mom was bawling her eyes out, crying. Her face was red. Her eyes were bloodshot. She was talking to her mom who was in Florida at that time, and she was saying, I can't believe I've been this dumb. I have nothing. I have nothing. And so the thing about my parents, you know, all their fights, it wasn't about infidelity, it wasn't about necessarily like substance abuse or anything like that. It was always about money. My mom feeling like there wasn't enough. She had no control over it. She didn't have the kind of power to direct where it was going. And so when they got divorced, I

was clear as around money. So my mom hung up that phone with her mom. She actually turned to me and she bent down so she was my height. She took me by the shoulders and she shook me. And she said, Marie, don't ever be stupid like I was. Don't ever give anyone control over your money. Don't ever give everything away to a man. I need you to grow up and be independent and take care of yourself. Look at me. I have nothing right now. Don't be stupid like I was. And I'm going to tell you, Jay, like as an eight year old, right, you get imprinted. And I just stood there and I was like, so I formed these beliefs as a young child that, you know, giving anyone control over your money was like a really

bad idea, if they're giving a man control over your money. Not a good thing to do. And those beliefs, I had to wrestle with them early on in my adult life. I remember being deep in debt. I just had all of these kind of twisted, conflicted notions around myself and money and worth. And so the process of using this idea, everything is figure outable. I used it then to go, you know what? I can figure money out. I can use this as a tool to heal myself and to heal other people and to help others not have suffering in their lives. So, you know, everything is figure programmable really can be that master key that helps people wipe through anything that holds it back.

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for sharing that as well. So openly, I think so many of us, when I was listening to you and I'm hoping everyone who's listening or watching right now was doing the same, when you're hearing Marie describe what she was going through as a child, put yourself back in that position too Like go through that visualization with her because for me I was sitting back and thinking, oh, yeah What was I going through it eight years old that is? Created a belief in my mind and it's so funny You brought up the money one because I can definitely identify with that and I grew up in a home where we always said we just have enough

Like we always have just enough So my whole adult life I grew up believing that I Like we always have just enough. So my whole adult life, I grew up believing that I only needed to have just enough, which always meant that we were always just above having nothing. So we never had a lot, and we never had nothing, but we had just above nothing. And that became my talking point.

So when everyone would say to me, like, how much money do you wanna make? I'd be like, yeah, just enough. Like, you'll literally be like, how I'd speak about it. And then when I grew up and started to reflect on wanting to have a family and wanting to serve the world and even wanting to create content that I really believed in and wanting to serve the world

in ways that I really valued. And I started to think I was like, wow, if I have just enough, then I can only help the world just enough. That's right. That's right. And so getting back to your point about our beliefs, it's sometimes we don't even understand or realize how much they're driving us until you kind of pause and recognize that they

are running the show. Right? So we have a simple formula in the book. Our beliefs create our thoughts, and our thoughts create our feelings, and our feelings, create our behavior, and our behavior creates our results. And so if you want anything to change on the results level, don't just go to the behaviors or the feelings or even the thoughts. We need to go deeper to our beliefs, because if we can handle that, everything changes. Absolutely, and so well put, I couldn't agree with you more because we're always messing around that stuff at the end.

Yeah. Like, I want to change my results, or I want to change how I feel. Yes. But then we never talk about the beliefs. The beliefs, the absolutely. The underpin them all. Absolutely. And now, so this is also a belief.

Everything is figure outable. Yes. Is, like you're saying, the master key belief in one sense of believing that everything's figure outable. You alluded to it earlier, when someone hears that and go, Marie, it's easy for some to say, come on, it's easy for you to say now that things have worked out or wait a minute, you know, I was at a conference recently and someone

stood up and asked me a question. They were just like, how does this apply to the kid starving in Africa, right? Like they said that to me. And my response to them actually was like, well, if I was speaking to kids who are starving in Africa, right? Like they said that to me. And my response to them actually was like, well, if I was speaking to kids who are starving in Africa, I wouldn't be saying what I'm saying to you. I was like, this is to you, this is audience specific. Yes. My advice that I was giving, I was like,

I know who's in my audience. If I was speaking to kids starving in Africa, I'd be giving them something else. That was appropriate. Appropriate and relevant and accessible to them at that point. So, but for us, for everyone who's listening and watching right now, tell us if someone's doubting you,

if someone, and I know you know this, but someone's doubting you, someone's looking, you're going, Marie, that's easy for you to say. Easy for you to say, or that's a nice thought. But my position right now, like the situation,

I'm in, it's so bad, like you have no idea. That's right. Okay, so I wanna dive into this and peel it back a couple of layers because it's so important. Like, you have no idea. That's right. Okay. So I want to dive into this and peel it back a couple of layers because it's so important. So number one, I am very clear that I have won what Warren Buffett has coined this phrase as the ovarian lottery, right? I'm a white woman in the United States.

By no effort of my own, I was born into a family that gave me an education, put a roof over my head. I had running water, I had electricity, all of those things. There are millions, if not up to a billion people that don't have those same privileges or access to some of those resources. So I absolutely got that. That's why it was imperative for me throughout the book to weave in stories far diverse

from my own. So folks from the developing world, folks throughout history that don't look like me, that did not grow up where I grew up with the same types of resources and privileges and advantages. And they embody this spirit, this notion that all of us have this innate power and wisdom within ourselves.

And when that awakens, what we are capable of as humans is extraordinary. So we have that all over the book. We also have dozens and dozens and dozens of reader stories, so folks that haven't won Nobel Peace prizes or that haven't done these extraordinary things. I've been talking about this idea for two decades. You know, here's a story. Yeah, I was gonna ask it to tell me a couple of things.

And then I absolutely, and then I want to go to the rules because an eight-year-old actually challenged me when I was first writing this book and it came up with something brilliant. So let me tell the story of Jen. You know, a lot of folks are like, well, yeah, everything is figure outable if you want to build a business or get your health back online or perhaps save a relationship. But what if I'm facing something difficult and hard that isn't? So woman named Jen wrote to us,

and I had first shared this idea with the world and a really public way on Oprah's stage. She was doing a super soul one day event. She had asked me to speak in it, and the title of my talk was everything is programmable. So Oprah then put that talk online. It's on her podcast, and so folks heard it that I had never met before.

So, woman named Jen wrote to us and said, Hey, Marie, thank you so much for your talk. This lesson that everything is figure outable is something my mom, who I love so much, had been trying to teach me forever, but I kind of really heard it from you. And then I shared the talk with my mom and she loved it too. But then everything changed. My mom, who is the most important person in my life, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And suddenly, nothing seemed to figure out. And she said, but then I actually

took a walk and I looked at it from a different perspective and realized it was. For example, I could find my mom nursing care that could go and attend to her even though she lived in this rural area. Number two, I could figure out how to get my mom foods that she could actually tolerate. Number three, I got medical equipment so that my mom could spend her last days and in fact, her last five weeks on this planet where she wanted to be, which is in her home. And she said, I can tell you without reservation that yes, everything is figure outable. And thank you so much for sharing this idea because it made a difference to two women

on the other side of the world. And so we have other stories of folks who have used this idea of facing addiction, facing loss, death, grief, diagnosis that are life changing in terms of how long they will be on this planet and how they will exist on this planet. So those are all embedded in there. So I just want to share that.

In the 1680s, a feisty opera singer burned down an unnery and stole away with her secret lover. In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom, with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans. What do these stories have in common? They're all about real women who were left out of your history books. If you're tired of missing out, check out the Womanica podcast, a daily women's history

podcast highlighting women you may not have heard of, but definitely should know about. I'm your host, Jenny Kaplan, and for me, diving into these stories is the best part of my day. I learned something new about women from around the world and leaf-healing amazed, inspired, and sometimes shocked. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season. And yet, we're constantly discovering new secrets. The depths of them, the variety of them

continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share 10 incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. When I realized this is not just happening to me, this is who and what I am. I needed her to help me. Something was gnawing at me that I couldn't put my finger on, that I just felt somehow that there was a piece missing.

Why not restart? Look at all the things that were going wrong. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to season 8 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you'll get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte,

who was loved bomb by the Tinder Swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself,

I know how to identify the narcissist in your life. Each week, you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Another frame. I invite people to try it before you deny it. Like, I do not claim to have

all the answers, nor do I think this book has all the answers, but within it, you will find a set of tools and practices and frameworks to find or create your own. And finally, I'll share the story about the eight-year-old. So I was telling a friend when I was first writing this book, we were all having a brunch on a Sunday. And my friend's son asked me, well, what's your book about? And I said, everything is figure-adduable. And he's like, no, it's not. And I was like, awesome, tell me more.

And he said, well, I can't grow working human wings out of my back. And I was like, that's very true, I can't grow working human wings out of my back. And I was like, that's very true. You can't do that yet. I said, but we humans can indeed fly. And he was like, oh yeah, that's right. He's like, well, you know, I can't get my dog who died when I was two. We can't get him to, you know, be back alive.

And it's like some pet cemetery shit right there. But I said, you know what, that's true. I said, but scientists are working on cryogenics and there's people who have cloned dogs. And he was like, oh yeah, that's right. I said, look, just because something scientifically hasn't been done yet doesn't mean it's impossible. There's an amazing book called The Beginning of Infinity

by a quantum theorist named David Deutsch. And he has this incredible quote which says, everything that is not forbidden by the laws of nature is achievable given the right knowledge. So I would invite everyone listening, you know, you don't have to take a quantum theorist's word for it, or my word, just experiment with this. Live this idea and see if it doesn't help you become more Capable and courageous and resilient and persistent in the face of whatever Problem you're looking to unpack or whenever a dream you're working to achieve. Yeah, I love that and and try it before you deny it

Sure like with everything right like even if I told you when you came in they're like oh, we have this juice And it's the best juice in the world Yes, and you can just oh, we have this juice and it's the best juice in the world. Yes. And you can just deny it and be like, no, I have the best juice in the world at home. And it's something as basic as that. Like we can't even do it to do it food and juice. What to speak of wisdom and knowledge and ideas.

So yeah, anyone who's listening or watching I highly recommend that you try this out the way Marie's saying it. And what Marie's done and what she's so beautifully articulating is, she's done the research to prove to us that this works. And she's giving you the process to practice it. That's right. That's what the book's doing.

It's proving to you all the through these stories and it's giving you the practice. Gone. And I, you know, I'm definitely not sitting here going like, I have everything fixed out and I'm just, you know, what I mean, hanging out going like, it's all done. No, I use this every single day. I use this when like I run a company and there's 30 people and you know, things crash, someone quit, someone gets sick.

I am using this actively every single day of my life and it's what helps me continue to engage with a sense of curiosity and courage and a fearlessness to walk into the inherent groundlessness of reality. Let's just be real about this. There's so much in our lives that we cannot control, right? And for someone who will raise her hand to being like, I like to be in control, I like to have those plans, I like to know what's coming up.

The nature of reality is chaos. And the nature of reality is groundlessness, which could evoke a lot of fear, or it could evoke a lot of curiosity. And so what I also like about this notion, if everything is figure outable, you don't have to grasp onto anything, but your own innate wisdom and capability to show up and dynamically be appropriate to what occurs in this moment. Yeah, absolutely. One of the things I really wanted to ask you

because this is something I'm fascinated by is when someone's living through that process of the belief that my life and everything that happens to me is the worst. And I hear that a lot. You see it a lot on social media. You see it a lot on people's profiles where people are just like, I'm going through the worst day, my life. And we have this belief that we're victims

and we have this belief so strongly that I'm going through the way. How do you start rewiring that from your perspective? Like how do you start the process of getting out of it? Yeah, it's interesting. And I think all of us have to, we need to give ourselves permission to have those bad days,

because we all have them at people off an ask me. They're like, you seem so confident all the time. You seem like you have everything together. And I'm like, well, you don't see me when I'm struggling. I'm on the phone with a friend going, like, I don't know if this is any good or I don't know if X, Y, and Z is working or, you know, kind of those things that we just do in private quite frankly. So I think knowing that all of us have bad days and you'd be like, oh, this is the worst. But to answer your question, I think it's

understanding that we have the power to assign any situation either in empowering meaning or a disempowering meaning. So let's take a really simple example, right? So we're not gonna get too heavy, we're gonna do it just right on the surface because sometimes that's easier to see like the juice example. Totally. So let's say I am a first-time writer

and I've sent out my manuscript and I got rejected again. I can take that very neutral fact and assign a meaning or a story to it that says, well, I'm a failure. No one likes my shit and I should just give up and I should stop being a writer clearly because here's another rejection letter. So that is what I would categorize as a disempowering meaning. You're not going to feel good. You're probably not going to take a productive, effective from that state of mind. And you may not ever reach your ultimate dream of being perhaps a published writer. You could choose to assign that same neutral fact

and empowering meaning, which could be. And we can come up with tons of them. Maybe it's like, you know, what? Every rejection means I'm one step closer to success because I'm actually getting my work out there. And I'm actually getting my work out there. And if I'm getting my work out there, that means that I could possibly be published. You could assign an empowering meaning like this. That particular article or story wasn't right for that publisher. They're not rejecting me. They're rejecting the work. Let me go find another publisher that might be aligned with this particular story. You could also make it mean something like this. You could say, you know what? I remember

that JK Rowling got rejected 12 times and I think Stephen King's carry got rejected like 30 times. I just need to keep going and build up even more rejectsage. And this isn't about being Pollyanna. It's understanding the power that we have of perception and our ability to assign a meaning to any fact that presents itself to us. And I think there's something interesting. There's this great quote, life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it, Chuck Swindle, right? Pastor, I love that because there are gonna be hard truths in all of our lives, and I feel like the only thing that we can control is how we contextualize what happens,

and therefore how we respond to what happens. Does that answer that question? That definitely answers that question. I love the multiple ways in which you gave of rewiring that same thought with different meaning and stories. I think that's... It forces us to be creative, right?

Totally. So it's like, we have to challenge ourselves to see the same exact thing from multiple points of view. One of the things, we'll talk about this a little later, but I also find love showing people optical illusions where you can see multiple things in the same exact lines or drawings because it proves that we can all look at the same facts

and have a completely different interpretation which therefore proves that the situation is not what is bad or good, but the labels and the context and the stories that we lay on top of it. Totally, totally. I couldn't agree more. I think that's a great answer because what you've triggered for me is that

we're used to make, when we don't find a creative understanding of what's just happened, and we don't think more objectively about why this has happened, what's the reason behind it, we're basically good at making broad generalizations based on very specific situations. Yes. Right, we make this broad generalization based on a very specific situation. Like when you said it could have been because you applied

to the wrong job with the wrong type of work with the wrong experience. Right. Which is a very specific situation. Yes. And you make this broad generalization like I'm not meant to make it. That's right, like I'm done.

I mean, you can look at the same kind of thing, let's say two people lose their job, which is absolutely not a good thing for most of us, right? We wanna have a living, We need to have the income. We have the responsibility to our families. One person says, that's it. I'm washed up. I'm never going to work again.

I'm irrelevant and just starts being and feeling down about themselves sitting on the couch, sleeping in late, not doing anything productive to change the situation. Same person loses the job says, you know what? This is awful. And this really hurts. And maybe this is the opportunity that I've been looking for to start my own business.

Or maybe this is an opportunity to find a job that's gonna value me more and then I'm actually gonna like different context, create different actions, create different outcomes. 100%. I love that. Great answer. There's a part in this book that I really loved,

and it's you talking about the difference between fear and intuition. Yes. And how we tell the difference. Oh, I can't want to talk about that. And I love that section because I think that's something that people struggle with so much. Like being able, so it's so funny.

We talk about when we label things wrong, and one of the biggest things we label wrong is the voices in our head. Like getting to be able to be aware of, wait, who's saying that in my head and where's that coming from? Talk me through that because I love that part. So fear versus intuition. So many of the times what stops us all from figuring something out is we're afraid, right? We're afraid maybe we won't be able to do it or we're just afraid of the area that we need to walk into in order to figure it out.

And then people often have asked me, you know, how do I know the difference between healthy fear that would be very good for me to move through versus my intuition or a gut instinct or a hunch going, no, no, no, no, no, that's actually going to be a shit show. Right? Like, well, that's just going to to be it's something you should not do. And that's a really important question. Here's what's awesome. You don't need to go asking other people for the answer.

You have all of the wisdom you need inside of you. And just to step back and to create a context for why what I'm about to share is so important for all of us to practice. And I still practice it to this day. We live in such a sedentary culture, right? We're we're spending eight, 10, sometimes 12 hours a day sitting, staring at our screens. So we're living from the neck up,

and many of us have lost touch with the wisdom and the intelligence that exists in our physical bodies because simply we're not moving enough. And as someone who's been a night gathlete fitness as a big part of my life movement is a huge part of my life. I see very clearly when I am moving consistently, I have access. It's like a channel opens up where there is so much intelligence and so much insight that is has not to do with my logical, reasonable brain. It has to do with another plane. And when I don't,

I get up here and it all gets twisted and then I'm unclear. So if you are facing an opportunity, a possibility to say yes to a job, a speaking engagement, a date, who knows, it could be any realm of life, and you're not sure whether you should move ahead with it. Here's what you need to do. Get to a place where you're quiet, nothing's around. Make sure that there's no technology. And I would invite people to close their eyes while they do this. So ask yourself, does the idea of moving ahead with this, of saying yes to this, make me feel expansive or contracted? In the nanosecond after you ask yourself that question, your body will have a physical response. So let's walk through what expands. Everyone who's listening and watching right now do this with us. Yes.

So expansive and I'll just give some possibilities, but yours might show up differently. So expansive may actually be as though your shoulders are relaxing and your chest is opening up. Expansive may feel like even your physical body is moving ahead in space. Expansive may feel like a twin, or a tingle of excitement, or joy, or anticipation, even if the notion of this feels intimidating to you, or like something you've never done before.

There is a lightness, a moving forward, a ever-so-subtle visceral, yes, whether it shows up in word form or merely through the movement of your body. That's expansive. Now, let's look at the flip side. If you ask yourself this question, does the idea of saying yes to this make me feel expansive or contracted? And in the nanosecond, after you ask that question, you find a pit in your stomach or a sense of dread or your shoulders

kind of hunching forward or even your body just shaking back in space or your head saying no, that's your intuition trying to save your butt and tell you don't move ahead with this. And here's why this is so important, Jay, because often when we're faced with an opportunity that our ego thinks we should move ahead with, right? Either there's a significant amount of money on the line or some type of opportunity that we feel will give us an edge, something beyond the competition or put us on a level that we're playing in a field that we're like, yeah, now we've really made it. And it looks good on paper, but something inside is like not right. That's when we need to listen to this most

and use this test because, I don't know, if you've experienced this, when you override those little feelings of dread, even though everything looks so cool on paper, that's when we get ourselves into trouble and get off track. That's completely, completely I've experienced that in the same way. I can completely, everything you just said,

I was just like, and it's often the way I describe it is, I said to people like, stop trying it, because people always ask me, do I listen to my head or my heart? I'm like, listen to your gut. Like, listen to the physical, that's the physical indicator. There are neurons in there, which you know,

that have so much intelligence, and I think that all of us have access to this innate wisdom, this inner knowing, if we have the courage to be still and to listen to it. And again, that takes some practice and a culture that is constantly like this and this, and that's always like, well, what do you think I should do? Or, you know, what's the money or what's the opportunity,

or what am I think I should do? Or, you know, what's the money or what's the opportunity or what am I going to get from this? Rather than trusting that you have this innate tool inside that is designed to highest and best everything. Absolutely. That's such a beautiful answer. And I'm so thank you for guiding us through that too. Like I just everyone who's listening and watching, make sure you do that again and again.

And again, the vercontracted. You can do it anytime. Exactly. And you can just, you know it straight away. That's the most beautiful thing about it that no one has to tell you. You know it and you'll feel it. And then you'll be able to see patterns in that feeling, right? You'll be able to be like,

I felt that when I did that guy that I wasn't sure about. And then I felt it again when I hired that person that wasn't meant to be my company and that, right? Like, oh my goodness, that's's you just, you laid up perfectly. Some people often say, well, I don't know how to hear my intuition. I'm like, oh, but you do. If we go excavating through your past just a little bit and we start surfacing up times when you said yes to something,

but you kind of felt a little off about it. And then afterwards you're like, what did I say? Yes to that for. Look at all of those times. That was your intuition trying to save your blood. Absolutely, absolutely. I love that. No, I love that.

And thank you for sharing that. And thank you for making it so practical and physical and real. Because I think we get, like you said, we just get lost up in here. And I would say in addition to that too, if someone's still, if they do that exercise and they're not quite clear on, you know, expansive or contracted, do something physical

that has an intensity to it. So I often go to a spin class because I, it's dark and I can really sweat and I can challenge myself in a safe environment or dance or run or walk around the block. I find that when I engage my physical body, the interior channels open up that tap me into a higher source of intelligence that otherwise I can't access. I think learning to trust and hear your intuition quicker and earlier in your life and being able

to spot the patterns of good and bad. Yes. And I started to do that very early on. I started to notice that my intuition was always guiding me right when I was going against the grain, doing things that no one else thought were a good idea. And I was fully sold and confident about it. So I remember I took a gap here before I went to university and that was all my friends went straight to university and I was like, what are you doing wasting time? And this is going to be, and it was one of the best years of my life. And then I chose to become a monk

when all my friends went and worked at big companies. And again, it was against the grain. And it was, and these were patterns I started to notice in my life. So now when I come to make a decision and I'm going against the grain, no one agrees with me, and I'm really confident about it. I'm like, oh yeah, that's my intuition.

That's okay. Exactly. Instead of second-guess guessing every time and going, oh, well, shouldn't everyone agree with me if this is a good idea? And so, and I've noticed that even now and I make that mistake now, there are times with certain things where I think I have less knowledge,

external knowledge. Yes. And I'll go against my intuition because I'll have less external knowledge. Absolutely, because you assume, and I went through this even with the process of writing the book, you're like, oh, well, so and so knows better because this is their business.

And it's almost like you give yourself a backseat and you abdicate responsibility. I've done that where you assume I've done that so many times where I've, you know, wasted money, like really good money and really good time and, you know, creative resources, same thing, thinking that someone else knows better because I'm less experienced. I love that you brought that up. And of course we're all open to feedback and of course we're all open to learning, but I think when you have those inner little red signals

and flags going off, you trust yourself. Yeah, exactly, trust yourself. And otherwise, if you made the mistake, make sure you note that down. Yeah, like that down. Yeah. Like that down somewhere. I remember even something as basic as if I'd do well in my exams at school, I would never write down why I did well and then the next year I'd be wondering, wow, did I revise last

year that made me do well. Yes. Right. And if you've done badly and you wrote down why you did badly, the next year when it comes round to doing something again, you can avoid that same thing. So I just think it's so important. I'm so glad that you wrote about that in the book. And for anyone who loves this theme that me and Maria both fall in love with talking about, it's better in the book. There's so much more in the book. Not so much more in the book. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we have so many exercises and things for

people to do to dive even deeper. Yeah, whichever, which I'm really excited for people to check out. One of the things that I love that you have a chapter on this book is that it's called Start Before You're Ready. Yes. And when I read that, I was just like, yes, this is exactly the advice. Like this is what people need to hear.

Yes. Because I think because of school and because of our education system and because of even when we used to go to school, it would be like, are you ready to go to school? It was always about being ready. Right? It was like, do you have a uniform one? Have you packed your bag? Have you got your pencil case? Like, first day of school syndrome. And it's like, are you ready to go to school? And it's almost like, we're always in this mode of like, I'm not ready yet. Yeah. Right? Whether it's educationally, whether it's emotionally, whether it's mentally, and that kind

of becomes one of our biggest excuses to ourselves of, I'm not ready. And I feel I was reflecting on where did this come from when I was reading the book. And for me, I think it came from the education system of always being ready before an exam, being ready before a test, everyone's. So tell me a bit about how you came to this place in your life and how you saw people, other people and other stories of starting before they were ready actually be the tool. Absolutely. In my own life, you know, when I was first training in terms of wanting to be a coach and becoming a coach, it was so much in terms of personal development work and it was awesome.

I loved working with clients. I was like 23, 24 years old and not only was I helping folks try and get results in their own life, I was also doing this work on myself. And one of the things I realized was that defining myself as a coach for straw that never really quite felt right to me. It felt very limiting and narrow and not quite on. But I admitted that I had this dream to dance. Now, let's set some background. No dance training whatsoever. Never taken a formal dance class in my life. And it was like I was around 24, 25,

which sadly in the professional dance world, it's a little over the hill to start, right? That's a very, very late start. And anyway, I finally got real with myself that I wanted to do this. And so I started taking professional dance classes in New York City. And it was amazing.

I found myself coming alive and coming alive. And this was great. And so I was taking class at Crunch Fitness. And my teachers were like, you're actually really good. And I remember, Jay, I was literally like, are you talking about me? I was like, wait, wait, wait, like I don't have any technique. They're like, no, no, no, you should really consider start teaching. And I was like, yeah, which given the fact that previous to that, I had, you know, failed

on Wall Street, I had failed in the magazine industry, I had all these failures. And I was keeping myself alive quite frankly, because I wasn't earning a lot of money as a coach by bartending and waiting table. So the fact that someone thought I was good at something was that just little grain of like, oh, you are kind of good at something. It was great.

Cut to. I said, all right, I'm gonna try out and become a substitute teacher at Crunch. I'm gonna teach these hip hop classes. I had no idea what the hell I was doing. So cool, you're so cool. So it was just sheer passion, right? And I was just doing everything I could just

trying to make it through. One of my first classes ever that I taught on my own, someone came up to me after class and she said, you're really good. And I was like, thank you. That's a means of world to me. She's like, you know, I work for MTV and we're working on a new show.

And we are looking for a choreographer slash producer, you should come in. And Jay, it was a moment like this was my first real class ever again, so like nervous and awkward and unsure of myself. So what came through my head, you're not ready yet. That was like, I was even praying, I was like universe, why did this have to happen? I am certainly not ready. I'm not good. I don't know what the hell is going on, but this is an amazing opportunity because I grew up on MTV. So I couldn't say no, right? Because again, I could hear my inner clock going like, girl, you're not getting any

younger, so you might as well say yes. So I said yes to this opportunity. And I remember standing outside of the Viacom building in New York City the day before is like when I was about to go up for this interview that afternoon. And Jay, I wanted to throw up like I was so nauseous, I was so not ready. Like I was actually thinking, should I throw up in this like metal trash can or should I like go inside and go to the bathroom so that I can clean myself up before I actually went into the interview. So I went into the building and I stood in front of the boss's door, the person who I was going to interview with and I like shook myself out and I just said, you are not ready, but you're going to start before you're ready because it's an incredible opportunity. And no matter what happens, you're going to feel good about yourself that you just went for it.

And I went in for that interview and I booked the job. Wow. And so it was this experience of me putting myself into kind of this whole world that I was in over my head. So let's be clear. I was working with dancers that had decades more experience than I did. They were talking about dance terms that not only could I not perform, I didn't know what the hell they were, but I made my way through by showing up as professionally as I could by being honest about my inexperience, but also by bringing my gifts that I did have to the table. And that one opportunity, dancing and choreographing and producing for MTV, that led to fitness

videos, that led to this increased learning curve where I got to learn basically three to four years worth of experience in like three months, which eventually led to me choreographing commercials for Reebok and then eventually becoming one of the world's first Nike Elite Dance athletes, all because I was willing to start before I was ready. And every single area of my life, I still do it in business to the state. There's so many things I say yes to that. I'm like, somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm like, you're not ready yet.

And I'm like, that means I gotta go. That means I gotta strap myself in and go, like, we're doing this. I will learn as I go. So this idea of starting before we're ready, it doesn't mean that we're irresponsible, doesn't mean that we don't do our research. and it doesn't mean that we override our intuition that if perhaps, you know, there was years ago and I'll say this, that people approached me to

write a book. And I legitimately wasn't ready yet, but it was because my focus was in other areas. Oh, I had other priorities. I knew from a deeper level, it wasn't about the fear, it was about trusting my own timing. Yes. But when you know you want to do something and you're clear that this is your path, using the mantra start before you're ready is an amazing way to beat procrastination, to leap Prague over your fear and to get going.

Yeah. And to push out of that desire of perfection and planning and what was going on earlier, like just having this addiction, like perfection addiction of like, Yes. Everything's going to be perfect before I start. Yes. Everything's going to be right in place. And I can so, so agree with you.

I remember getting my first book offer to me after my first ever video and one of my first viral videos. And I was approached by an amazing publisher that I would have dreamt to being published by before and they were like, we'd love you to do a book and when I sat there and it wasn't that again, same as what you're saying, I just knew at that time that my focus had to be something else. It wasn't and it was that I didn't really know what I'd want to write a book about and full like, that's how unready I was. Like it wasn't like, I had no idea.

And I was like, but I want to focus on this, I want to build this, and then I will come to that. Rather than like, actually, I'm not going to do anything right now because I'm not ready yet. That's right. And I think that that discernment and digging into this nuance is so important for people to hear because, you know, starting before you're ready doesn't mean that you're going to throw your life into chaos. But I think for anyone listening who feels stuck and we all have felt that right, where you're just like, oh, I really wanna do it.

Start before you're ready, we'll kickstart you into action. And action really is the antidote to fear. 100%, 100%, and you have this graph in your book as well, this little squiggle. Oh, proper versus perfect. Yeah, exactly. And it's true, like when you start before you're ready, you are going to have a lot more of this.

A lot more of this. Yes. But if you don't start, you're not going to have anything, right? That's right. You're just there, like you're this dark. I think people have this mistaken notion that if you're making real progress, legitimate progress towards a particular goal, people see it as a line that goes straight

up on a graph. So like you start at the bottom, start from the bottom and now we're here, right? But it's like all neat and tied together. And my experience in what I've seen just working with so many people is progress actually goes up and then it reverses and then it goes down and then it goes in some circles and then it reverses and then it goes up and then it goes down again. So progress is this squ and then it reverses and then it goes up and then it goes down again So progress is this squiggly line and so many of us feel that if we fall on our faces Which I've done so many times we feel that if we hit a wall which I've done so many times that we're not making progress But that's untrue can I tell a quick story?

Yeah, please I'd love to hear one so One of our B school or so so B school is a program that I've been doing for a decade. It's, it's online business school for modern entrepreneurs. We've had over 55,000 people go through the programs. That's insane. So it's about, thank you. A great pleasure. Thank you for that.

I want to tell a story about one of our B schoolers because she so perfectly illustrates what we're talking about. So a woman named Molly, she had seen a video I did with another grad where this grad was going like, I had my first $30,000 a month and so Molly saw that she was like, wait, what? Like I had never even knew that was possible. So it opened up a possibility for her that she had never recognized before. I think that's why it's so important for us to witness each other and what's possible

because sometimes you can't see what you don't, you know, you can't become what you don't see. So Molly said, I would love to have my own business. She didn't have an idea for business. She had no business experience. It was just this little seed of a dream, like many of us have around a relationship or our health or a creative project. We don't know how we're going to do it.

We have no experience doing it, but we want that thing, like dance for me. So Molly did the program, fine, fine, fine. She worked for two years, Jay, and she kept failing. Business wasn't working. She showed up in the program. She's trying everything, not working, not working, not working. And she wrote to us, and she was so disappointed in herself. And we said, hey, don't be like, you're actually making progress.

Hang out, like we gave her some coaching. We advised her to go into our member area and talk with the community. She actually took the feedback from everyone. She retooled. And then we didn't hear from her from a little while. Cut to year three. We an email from Molly. You are not going to believe this. And we're just like, okay, what's happening, girl? going to believe this. And we're just like, okay, what's happening, girl? In one month, she had more than doubled that a rich, she's like, I just brought in $66,000. She actually had a real working business. She had completely surpassed what her original inspiration was that was so far beyond anything that she could have comprehend it at that point. But it didn't happen until well into year three. And the reason I want to tell this story

is this. So many of us have this mistaken idea that in that year or that two years that we're not actually making progress, but we are. Right. And if she hadn't kept going, she would have never realized that little seed of a dream that was originally there that was real, but she had to go through the squiggles like we all do. Yeah. Before we keep getting to that next level. So I just want to tell that progress, not perfection. If you are making progress in any regard, if you are learning something, even if it's a tough lesson, if you are moving forward, if you are making adjustments and evolving or iterating, guess what, you're making progress. Keep going. Absolutely.

Absolutely. This was one of the things when we were monks, the way we were trying to rewire our brain this way was planting seeds. And so when you actually plant a seedling and then you water every day and you make sure it gets sun, you realize that thing doesn't grow. No. The days. It's under the surface.

It's under the surface. The root savanness. Yes. I'm going to grow underneath. It's under the surface. It's under the surface. The roots have an isch, right? Yes. I'm going to grow underneath the foundation and you're going, God, what is this thing going to grow? And then you finally see it grow. Yes. And then it looks like this little weak thing and you're like, Oh, God, like that's never going to grow into anything significant. And then it grows and grows and grows. And finally, it grows and then you see flowers and then you see fruits, and it's almost like that fruit. You're never gonna get that fruit

if you gave up watering it on day two. Or you picked out that little seedling on week three because you're like, man, it's not working. It's not going fast enough. It's just neglected. Yeah. You just ignore it. And it's just like, you have to rewire your brain

for that patience and persistence. And what you're saying, progress, not perfection. That's right. Because you're not gonna get that fruit, that flower, that and what you're saying, progress, not perfection. That's right. Because you're not going to get that fruit, that flower, that paycheck, that $66,000 reward, whatever it is. Yes. If you're impatient and forcing it, you can't force it to grow. I could even overwaltor it for one day and that would actually destroy its growth.

You'll kill it. Yeah. Yeah. And that's and and so that's where I always wonder when and how do we figure out if we've pushed too much, spent too much money and now it's like maybe this isn't for you or is the goal wrong or is the process wrong or tell me about that other street. Yes, I love this. So this is kind of getting into the nitty gritty. So I would say the conversation that we had a little bit ago about intuition is really important here because it's going to be different. And I think it's also important to make the distinction that giving up isn't the same thing as moving on. There is something known as the power of positive quitting. So another quick story. So I remember earlier on in my career before I had a team and

had resources, and again, I've been doing this for 20 years. We're talking like back in the early days when I was still doing all my own customer service, it was basically me and like a virtual assistant. That was it. I had this idea to build a custom membership site, and this is way back in the day when that's like, unheard of. And I think the thing cost me like $5,000, which was like $5,000 that I did not have at that time. So that was an enormous, first of all, that's still a lot of money. And it was an enormous scary investment for me at that time. It was a new coaching program. And I was so excited that a bunch of people said, yes, to this coaching program. And they were starting to log in and Jay, the thing melted down.

It crashed. It was such a hot mess and I was just not only was I mortified, but customer experience and customer service and taking care of people is everything to me. That's my heart and soul. And I just remember going like, you know, this is not going to work. This is it. Like I'm going to quit not as a coach, but I'm going to get people off of this really shitty platform. I'm going to put them on a hosted platform. I'm going to over deliver and take care of them, but I'm not going to keep pouring money into this or beating myself up because, you know,

this thing crashed and burned. I'm going to take the lessons from it and I'm going to pivot and move on So I think when it comes to understanding whether or not you're kind of done with something and you're ready to move on I think people have to get honest with themselves about their motivation So one of the things that I've seen especially as it relates to career and especially business when folks start a business purely to make money, that's when it never works. So I always like to invite people,

never start a business to make money, start a business to make a difference. And all of us as entrepreneurs and creatives and multi-passionate creatives, we need to stay nimble and evolve because the market's evolving, technology's evolving, we're evolving as humans and as is the market. But if you're trying to push something that in your heart of heart, you're not truly committed to and you're just trying to get some external reward like

fame, recognition, the dollar bills, whatever it could be, it's not going to work. Definitely. I'm so glad that you spoke about that because I couldn't agree more. I always say to people, like if you're pushing to make something happen and you're doing it to make a difference or an impact or a service, that actually keeps driving you. Yes.

And if you've lost that drive for something, it's probably because that's not the reason why you were doing it. That's right. Because otherwise you wouldn't lose the drive for it. If it was that meaningful to you. And so I've always said to people, I have right now, I probably have,

and I'll give a genuine honest number, I won't give an amplified number. I probably have ideas for three other things I could be doing that I think could be huge financially. Like I'm convinced that I have three ideas that have been verified by venture capitalists and all the rest of it, that I know would be financially very successful.

But I couldn't die for any of them. Like I don't really care if I did them. Like someone else could take them and make money for them to of them. Like, I don't really care if I did them. Like someone else could take me, they might be okay. Like, when I'm doing right now, what we're doing right now, that's something I'm willing to die for. Like, that's something that I'm committed to.

It's something that I've worked very hard to do and I've been driven by that service or that impact with that difference. Completely. And I think that for all of us, you know, if someone's thinking about, you know, oh God, have I hit the ceiling on it, that's the really good litmus test between you and you.

Again, I had side jobs for seven years as I was starting this business. I mean, everything from bartending, waiting tables, cleaning people's toilets. I taught a lot. I did anything I possibly could because the coaching and the creating and the writing and the connecting with others, like that was my dream. And no matter how long it was going to take, I didn't even know

if it would eventually work. That's the truth of it. I had no idea. But I was fine eating my mac and cheese and my peanut butter and jelly because I was really doing the thing that I felt like I was meant to do in the world. I love that. I'm so glad you did that. I'm so glad you pushed through. And I'm so glad. And this. I'm so glad you pushed through. And I'm so glad. And this way I said to everyone, it's like, when I'm hearing you say all of them, just like, I'm so glad because it just makes the story better, right? Like all those situations.

And what I mean by that is not from a marketing point of view, not from a sales point of view, but that's what we can all connect with. Yes. The multiple jobs at the same time, like the multiple rejections, the downs. That's what everyone can all connect with. Yes. The multiple jobs at the same time, like the multiple rejections. Yes. And the downs. That's what everyone's story is. But for some reason, we look at all these posters and we think, oh yeah, but they didn't

have that. And that's just because we don't do enough research. I feel like we don't actually dive so deeply into the people we admire and really look at their backstories and really look at their failures and rejections. Because otherwise, don't we see that we're on the same path. The same exact path. And I think one of the things you've probably noticed this too, because you've had such incredibly rich conversations with just so many incredible people, you know, is every person on the planet has their own

struggles even right now, no matter what you're saying. Like people are battling things privately, and that's their right to. Not everyone has to share everything, but no matter how much perceived power or theme or money someone has, it's like they're having hard times too. They have the self-doubt and they have the fear and they have their own versions of struggles. I think when we realize that, we start putting people on pedestals and start recognizing that we have so much more in common than we do in terms of our differences. Absolutely. Thank you, Marie. So I've and every interview with Final Five questions.

Oh, I'm hanging on. A Final Five rapid-fire round, quick-fire round. So you have to answer with either one word or one sentence maximum. So, and I'll go off tangent if I feel, if you say something and I'm like, oh, it's usually me who ruins it for the guest. But here we go. So the first thing is, first thing you say to yourself when you wake up in the morning. Good morning.

I love it. In that voice. Kind of like in my own head. I don't say it out loud. And I'm like, all right, good morning, girl. I love that. The last thing you say to yourself before you get a bed. So tired. I like it. Thank you for the honesty. Yeah. Third question, the best advice you've ever received.

That your heart is the strongest part of you. Nice. Fourth question, the worst advice you've ever received. Fourth question, the worst advice you've ever received. The sentence I'm going to say, I feel like my brain must have deleted it because I literally have nothing right now. Oh, not. Yeah, that's good. It must have deleted it because I'm like, oh, I can't think of it. Yes. I like it. That's awesome.

And the fifth and final question is, what are your, what are three truths that you live by? So one is obviously everything is figure outable. Everything is figure outable. And the fifth and final question is, what are your, what are three truths that you live by? So one is obviously everything is figure out. Everything is figure outable. The next truth is there is nothing more important in this world for any of us than the quality of our relationships and our connections that. And I think that the third thing clarity comes from engagement, not thought. Explain that. I want to hear more of that.

So, so many times for many of us, we have these notions of what could be possible or what we might want to do or what something could feel like, but we spend so much time in our minds rather than actively engaging to discover it. So rather than pro-con lists or rather than, you know, sitting on the couch kind of going, oh, I don't know if I should. I think living by this idea that clarity comes from engagement, not thought, gets us out into the world, gets us physically engaged and activates this open channel within to feel our way into our truth, rather than think our way into what we, you know, have a notion, is this gonna make me happier or not? And I way into what we, you know, have a notion is this

going to make me happier and I feel like when we lead from this and when we lead from our heart and we tell our truth from engagement, it's where the magic is. That's great advice. I love that. Thank you so much. Marie was telling me, and this is interesting to me because I'm working on my book right now. Marie was telling me that there was a ton of stuff that I actually didn't make into her

book. Now whenever I hear stuff like that, I'm like, well that's the stuff I really want to know about because if an author creates something and it doesn't get in there, not because it's not good enough, but because it's context space, whatever it is. Tell me, tell us about why.

Yeah, so it was this amazing chapter that I had worked for weeks on and my publisher who I really trust in my editor, they're like, oh, well we felt the natural ending was here and I was like, at first, I was crestfallen. It felt like a punch in the gut. And then when I re looked at the material, I was like, oh, no, I think I could actually teach this better if I had the benefit of my boys and I had videos and I actually had worksheets and could actually coach people through it. So it was this acronym, this little formula I created

to help people embed the belief, everything is figure outable into their consciousness, into their mind, into their soul in a really organic way. So I said to myself, okay, I actually still want to give this to folks, but I want to do it for free and just teach everyone, there's no upsells, there's no anything. It's just another part of the book that just didn't make it into the pages that I actually feel will be more effective if done collectively and done online. So there's behavioral science, there's neuroscience that backs all of this up.

And so it's free, it's happening October 14th. If you just go to everythingasfiguratable.com, you'll see a little link. And if you're interested, you can totally take the course completely on May and with tens of thousands of other people, and you'll learn this five-step formula that will help you figure everything out and embed the belief into your mind and soul.

I love that. That's so awesome. I'm so glad you're doing that, especially with the point of embedding it into your psychology. Well, because my friend asked me, she's like, well, this is great because you learn this belief as a child, which we talk about in the book, and it's been my own internal operating system for so long,, she's like, well, this is great because you learn this belief as a child which we talk about in the book and it's been my own internal operating system for so long and she's like, yeah,

but how can you help it be mine? And I was like, oh, I got you. I got you. And so that's what we did. We created a little system for people and I talk about it like it's an emergency first aid kit or like a life Preserver. If you ever forget that everything is figure outable or you find yourself feeling stuck or overwhelmed or just unsure how to move ahead You'll have this wonderful little tool that you can use for life and it's free and it's all yours Amazing and when and where do they sign up? So go to everything is figure outable.com and there will be a link about the course And again, it's a hundred percent free. You can invite your friends. Just come do it Everyone who's been listening and watching let's give a huge round of applause in our hearts for Maria. That was amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me on. The book, everything out is figure out

a ball is out on September 10th. If you're listening to this right now, I'm guessing the book is already out or about to be out. Make sure you go and pre-order if you are hearing this before. And if it's already out, make sure you go and buy the book to dive deeper into this conversation. If you want to overcome your fears, if you want to understand how to get started before you're ready, if you want to know how to make progress even without feeling that you're perfect, which none of us are. And if you actually want to start driving towards your dream, this is the book for you. Make sure you go and get it. Don't hesitate to buy this book. This conversation should have given you the insights into the kind of things that are inside.

There's so many more incredible stories that are right inside the book that I can't wait for you to hear because the more you fill your life up with those stories, the more you'll be able to believe that everything is figure-outable. So thank you so much again, Marie. Thank you, Jay. Thank you for being here. Thank you for who you are in the world. You're so amazing. I adore you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for watching and listening everyone. Make sure you share this episode. What adore you. Thank you. No, thank you. Yes. Thank you for watching and listening, everyone. Make sure you share this episode. What I'd love for you to do is find the one thing.

The one thing that Marie said that you're not going to just think about or post on Instagram, but you can experiment with. I don't do want you to post it across Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, wherever you're active and share what it was that she said that you're testing out this week. Go get the book and I can't wait to see you again next week. Thanks for listening. Thank you so much for listening through to the end of that episode. I hope you're going to share this all across social media. Let people know that you're subscribed to on purpose. Let me know. Post it, tell me what a difference

it's making in your life. I would love to see your thoughts. I can't wait for this incredibly conscious community we're creating of purposeful people. You're now a part of the tribe, a part of the squad. Thank you for being here. I can't wait to share the next episode with you. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on I Heart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Intercosmos with David Eagleman on the I Heart Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Lewis Hamilton, and many, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw, real life stories behind their journeys and the tools

they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast. Join the journey soon. I'm Munga Shatekler and it turns out astrology is way more widespread than any of us want to believe. You can find in Major League Baseball, International Banks, K-Pop groups, even the White House.

But just when I thought I had a handle on this subject, something completely unbelievable happened to me and my whole view on astrology changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, give me a few minutes because I think your ideas are about to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.