On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Naomi Osaka: “I Used to Think Losing Meant My Life Was Over” Sharing Her Truth of Navigating Shame, Public Pressure & How She Found REAL Self-Worth

Episode Date: August 1, 2025

Have you ever felt like losing meant your life was over? When did you realize it’s okay to fail? Today, Jay sits down with four-time Grand Slam champion Naomi Osaka to explore her journey beyond the tennis court. Naomi, known for her powerful game and quiet resilience, opens up about the challenges of fame, the weight of expectations, and how motherhood has reshaped her outlook on life. Jay and Naomi discuss the pressure of being a high-performance athlete, the loneliness that can accompany success, and the struggles of maintaining a sense of self in an industry that often reduces people to their achievements. Naomi candidly describes how, for years, her self-worth was tied to her ranking and performance, but becoming a mother has given her a new perspective—one that prioritizes joy, presence, and growth over perfection. The conversation also dives into Naomi’s evolving relationship with competition. While she once measured her success by titles and trophies, she now finds fulfillment in self-discovery and personal progress. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Detach Your Self-Worth from Achievements How to Cope with External Expectations and Criticism How to Use Journaling for Self-Reflection and Growth How to Prioritize Mental Health in High-Pressure Situations How to Learn from Setbacks Without Letting Them Define You Success is not just about winning; it’s about growing, learning, and showing up for yourself every day. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:47 Open Discussions About Mental Health 03:10 Impulsiveness as an Athlete 05:28 Moving From Japan to USA 08:02 Lifelong Training and Career 10:13 Incorporating Culture in Fashion 12:38 Discipline and Diet 13:53 Indulging in Guilty Pleasures 16:48 Passing Time While Having Impulsive Tendencies 18:46 Winning the First Grand Slam  21:09 Dealing with Public Hate 22:39 A Long-Time Serena Williams Fan 25:16 Experiencing Motherhood  27:39 The Different Facets of Life 29:07 The Power of Journaling 31:55 Loving the Life You're Living 34:57 The Habit of Comparing Yourself to Others 36:27 Stop Chasing Your Old Self 38:21 Motherhood Realizations 39:46 Rigorous Training After Giving Birth 41:18 Setting Boundaries During PressCon 43:01 No One Can Predict Someone's Path 45:21 Finding Calmness Through Meditation 47:44 Setting New Goals 50:25 Shamed for Taking a Break 54:17 Getting Support from Fellow Athletes 55:52 Friendships and Camaraderie 57:08 Mentored by Kobe Bryant 59:31 The Haitian Way of Giving 01:00:58 Who Are You Spending Your Time With the Most? 01:04:29 Loving Yourself and How You Look 01:05:29 Game Day Routine 01:07:33 You're Never Alone 01:09:04 Fear of Being Forgotten 01:12:40 Naomi on Final Five Episode Resources: Naomi Osaka | InstagramSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast, guaranteed human. Hi, I'm Radhavlucia and I am the host of a really good cry podcast. This week, I am joined by Anna Runkle, also known as the crappy childhood fairy, a creator, teacher, and guide helping people heal from the lasting emotional wounds of unsafe or chaotic childhoods. Talking about trauma isn't always great for people. It's not always the best thing. About a third of people who are traumatized as kids feel worse when they talk about it,

get very disregulated. Listen to a really good cry on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What up, y'all? It's your boy, Kevin on stage. I want to tell you about my new podcast called Not My Best Moment, where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends, people I admire who have had massive success about their massive failures.

What did they mess up on? What is their heartbreak? And what did they learn from it? I got judged horribly. The judges were like, you're trash. I don't know how you guys. on the show. Check out not my best moment with me kept on stage on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back. I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting. Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leveh, Rufus Wainwright, Mavis Staples, really too many to name. And there's Still so much more to come in this new season. Listen to Nora Jones is playing along on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What I was dealing with at the time, feeling ashamed,

going against everything an athlete stood for. After I pulled out of the French Open, I flew back home to L.A. And it just stayed in my house. I didn't want to see the outside world. Ranked as number one in the world in women's singles. A four-time grand slam tennis champion, Naomi Osaka. Your dad wanted to train you because he was reading about Richard Williams

and what he'd done with the Williams sisters. How aware were you of that when you were growing up? It's me and my sister, my dad on a tennis court, at least eight hours. Every day? Yeah. I began to think to myself, like, it would be very weird if I didn't make it. Your vulnerable sharing of your mental health journey, What does it feel like looking back on that?

Honestly, I'm a little bit embarrassed on how I went about it. What was the process like going from giving birth to then getting back on the court? Maybe seven to ten days. I started training again. Wow. My whole identity as I knew it was being a tennis player. I would value what my value was as a person on whether I won or lost. What was the feeling like when you won your first grandson?

When I was growing up, I had dreams of playing Serena. And in my first grand slam final, it felt like a dream came true. I was just reading comments of people saying that I didn't deserve to win. The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. He won. The O.

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come to become happier, healthier, and more healed. Today's guest is someone that I've been dying to talk to for quite a few years now. ever since she opened up about her own mental health journey. Today's guest is Naomi Osaka, a four-time Grand Slam champion and was the first Asian to hold the world number one ranking for 21 weeks.

Beyond tennis, she's a global advocate for mental health, social justice, and was named one of times 100 most influential people twice and now has her production company, Hannah Kuma, along with her skincare line, Kinlo. Please welcome to the show, Naomi Osaka. Nehomi, it's wonderful to have you here. Thank you. It's nice to be here. I really meant it. I've been wanting to talk to you for so long. I thought your open sharing and vulnerable sharing of your mental health journey was so brave

and courageous. What does it feel like looking back on that three years now? Honestly, I'm a little bit embarrassed on how I went about it, but I'm really glad that I did. open up. It created a pathway for more discussions to be had. And I also feel like athletes were seen as more than just, I guess, stone cold in a way. Yeah. Why embarrassed though now? I don't know. Like, I just, since I go on things, like, I go about things on a whim a little bit. I, I sometimes make decisions without fully thinking them through all the way because it's such an emotional thing. And when I was in that moment, like, I was living it, and I think everyone could see that I was clearly living it, but I feel like maybe I could have been a little bit better with my words or how I presented

myself. Well, I think it came across really beautifully, and for whatever it's worth, I felt that it really gave so many more athletes the permission to also open up, to also share how they were feeling, and you're so right. I think it humanized a lot of athletes that are often just seen as these high-performing beings. And then, you know, you're just to be able to. You know, you're just to feel. You're don't realize that they have a conversation in their mind. You just said there and you were saying earlier that sometimes you do think on a whim or sometimes you wing it. Where does that come from? Is that from your childhood? Did that start early? Maybe it's a personality thing, but people don't know. I'm very impulsive actually. And I'm just very quick to like want to get things

done. So yeah, I do think it's a childhood trait. And maybe my mom can tell me more stories about that. I heard her tell a story about how when we were younger, me and my sister, she took us to a fountain and all of a sudden I just jumped in the fountain. So there's probably a bunch more stories like that that she could tell me. Yeah. And where has that trait kind of got you in trouble? And when has it actually been a really helpful trait? The moments that's gotten me in trouble, people know about those moments. But I think in times that it's really helped, I feel it's helped a lot on the tennis court, just because I often do put a little bit of pressure on myself to be, I guess, flashy in a way. Like, I want to make it entertaining for the people that watch. And sometimes in

my mind, I have this image of Mofis. He's, like, one of my favorite tennis players. And I think, you know, maybe I should do something like that. Some of those shots work and some of them don't, but I think it's fun to try regardless. Yeah, definitely. It's so interesting hearing about athletes speaking about being impulsive and being, you know, because I feel like so much of the sport to us as outsiders look so strategic and intentional and focused. How do you balance that creativity and impulsiveness with more focus and planning and intentionality? It's something that I've just learned throughout playing the sport. I've been playing since I was three, so it's kind of ingrained in me. And I feel like every tennis player has their own, I guess, signature or

blueprint or formula that they just grew up with. And some people, you see it a lot. Like, you can kind of tell that they're the creative people, like On Stjabur. And then some other people, you can just tell that they're focused on, you know, the plays that will lead them to victory. So I find myself being kind of a half-and-half person. Yeah. You moved from Japan to America when you were four years old.

Three. Three. Okay. What, if anything, do you're a half-and-half person? remember from that time? I remember my sister kicking me in the head. Really? Wow, that's impressive.

And I also remember going to the park a lot. I don't know if you're familiar with Japanese food, but my mom used to get a snikuman. So they're like steamed buns. And yeah, just having a fun time in Japan as a kid. And then what was it like coming to America at that time and settling in? Does that feel like a natural transition or were there certain learnings that you had to have? From my memories, like it was pretty easy. I don't think I was too attached to Japan.

I wasn't too thrilled to be in America either, but it's just the life that I had. I heard that my sister had a tougher time because she was older and, you know, she only spoke Japanese. So at school, this is a funny story, which is kind of makes me a little mad now, it's just something that happened. Apparently me and my sister, we only spoke Japanese, and my teacher told my mom to stop speaking to us in Japanese. So that's kind of how I forgot most of it. So you don't speak Japanese anymore?

I do, but to people I'm comfortable with. Right, right. So wait, your teacher told your mom not to talk to you and your sister in Japanese so that you'd get more comfortable with English, and why does that make you mad now? I feel like being bilingual is such a good trade. And also we went to an English school, like American, so they spoke English there anyway. So we would have eventually gotten to learn how to speak English. Yeah. And language is such a beautiful way to preserve culture. Yeah. And it preserves an intimacy as well. Like you said that people you're close to, you're still speak in Japanese. And I feel like there's an intimacy when you're speaking your own language with someone, right? Yeah, I also feel like there's a way to convey things that sometimes I can't convey it in English,

so I have to say it in Japanese. And there's like a fluctuation or something like that that it can't be translated. Yeah, I agree with that. I feel like that way about Hindi. So Hindi is obviously the national language of India. And I feel like there are so many beautiful, poetic words in Hindi that if I try and say them in English, they just sound basic. Yeah. But in Hindi, they're really spectacular.

So, no, I can relate to that. Your dad, at least from what I read, your dad wanted to train you because he was reading about Richard Williams and what he'd done with the Williams sisters. And I think at one point he even said that I had a blueprint, I knew what I needed to do, and I know I had to follow it. What was it like living that blueprint and with your dad? How aware were you of that when you were growing up? I heard of that story later on also.

But, yeah, I think living in that blueprint, was something that I just grew used to. It was kind of just me and my sister and my dad on a tennis court for like at least eight hours. Every day. Yeah. So it was kind of one of those things where I began to think to myself, like, it would be very weird if I didn't make it. And I had no choice to because this was, you know, this was my life. And I was just so dedicated towards it.

But I find it really funny that he's. said that there is an exact blueprint. Have you ever asked him about any questions about that time when he was training you for eight hours a day and what was going through his mind and what were his emotions? My dad's kind of a stoic guy, so he doesn't really talk as often. And when he does, it's like to randomly crack a joke. The family all had a dream and we all were trying our best to achieve it. And it's kind of interesting to look back on it because it wasn't that long ago.

Did you ever watch King Richard with your family? I watched it by myself on the plane, and I thought it was really fascinating because it did feel a little familiar in some parts. And I think it's just like the goal of the whole family just trying their best, and it was really touching for me. Was it something that really brought you all closer together when you were young? Yeah, I think, you know, but my family wasn't that big. It was just me and my sister and my mom and my dad. And growing up, we lived in New York, so I was around my grandma and my cousins at the time. But then we moved to Florida when I was like eight or so.

And then we didn't have any family members. I would definitely say we were extremely close. Apart from your amazing fashion, how did Japanese culture and Haitian culture, how is it influenced and inspired you from a mindset perspective or even from a lifestyle perspective? What are the parts of it that still live and breathe in your life today? It's interesting to be asked questions like that because I feel like it's so hard to explain. But I think one of the biggest things that people may not know about Haiti or Haitian culture, I don't even know if it's a culture or just everyone's personality is like that.

But they'll give even though they have nothing to give. I don't want to say it's one of my favorite parts, but it's one of the most touching parts. Whenever I go to Haiti, like everyone's just so excited to. contract and be as hospitable as possible and just show their love and appreciation for people coming to Haiti and people that love Haiti. So I try to incorporate that in my own way, in my own personality. And then, of course, for the Japanese side, I think this one's going to be a little funny, but I think Japan's very, like, strict, not strict, but, like, very prompt.

And I think one of the funniest things was that one of my trainers said that, you know, it's funny that you go to different countries and the bus time is like 10 and the bus can leave at 1003, but in Japan when it's at 10, it leaves at 10. So, yeah, trying to be very on task. Yeah, no, I love learning about different cultures or, as you said, communities, traits. And I mean, that what you just said about giving even when you don't. don't have something to give. I mean, that's really powerful and really beautiful. And it's tough as well. It's hard as well when someone's actually having to go through that. And that generosity,

it's so interesting, isn't it? Like, I always think we think when I have more, then I'll give more. And actually, it's almost like, no, if I can give what I have today, then I'll continue to give. And I remember being exposed to that culture in India as well. And I think Asian and South Asian places definitely, places I visited, have some of that culture. And the orderly and promptness and the discipline definitely makes sense. So you've got that perfect ying and yang of being impulsive and disciplined. What's the most disciplined thing you do every day right now? This is going to sound a little unhinged. Not eating rice, which is really difficult for me. I just feel like as an Asian and Caribbean person. Like rice is such a staple in both foods and both cultures. But I'm trying to be

really strict with myself and really disciplined and not eating any rice is definitely the most disciplined thing that I have to do right now. I love that. Is rice usually like a daily, like usually like a daily staple? Yeah, you know, like a couple spoonfuls here and there. Yeah. So now no rice. How long has it been? It's honestly been a couple of weeks, so I'm hoping to keep this up until Australia. That's amazing. That's awesome. I know what that feels like when you're like trying to swear off. My big thing is sugar. I'm just like constantly trying to stare at sugar and it's so hard because I've been addicted to sugar in the past. Oh, so you have a sweet tooth. I have a big sweet tooth. You put anything with chocolate in front of me and it will be devoured. It's like my favorite thing in the world. But I've been building a healthier relationship with sugar. It's been pretty tough, but I've got there as well.

And what about the other side? What's something that you kind of get spontaneously the urge to do right now? What are some of the more impulsive things you end up doing right now? One of my favorite things to do is like go for a drive at nighttime. Sometimes when I do that, people like to race. So sometimes I may or may not potentially end up racing them as well. That's brilliant. I don't know.

It's kind of one of my guilty pleasures because I feel like you get to see a crowd of people that you don't typically see, especially on the LA highways. Yeah, I would say that's probably one of the last impulsive things I've done. That is brilliant. I'm so glad to ask the question. Do you have a really cool car as well? Potentially. I love that. I'm the person who avoids the race. So I used to be like that. My teenagers, I loved it. If someone wanted to race me, and it's so funny, because I have a much faster car today than I did when I was a teenager. But I remember when I was a teenager, I would race anyone, even if I was driving my little vault. I was. I was driving my little vault. Oxal Corsa, which is like, if I showed you a picture of the car later on, you'd laugh. It's like

this really old model. I'd race anyone. I don't care what they were driving. Now I avoid the race. Do you usually win? I tell myself, I have no choice. So honestly, though, I do feel you on like avoiding the race now because I think as I've gotten older, I've become a lot more safe. Like, for example, when I was young, turbulence on airplanes used to excite me. I used to think of them as like free roller coaster rides. But now I do get a little worried sometimes because I think of my daughter and all the things that I want to do with her when she grows up. So, yeah, when people start driving past a certain level of crazy, then I'm like, okay, you got it. Do these people know that they're racing against Neomir Saka or no, you're like tinted windows?

they can't tell who they're racing. My windows are very, very tinted. So they have no idea that they just got beat by... They wouldn't be able to see me. They would see the dust. You're like, they're not even close. I love that. That's so funny.

It's amazing how there's certain things that we all need as an outlet and to be impulsive about and just kind of let go. And do you think that when you were working up to win, you know, the first US Open that you did it, 20 years old, was your life very different then? Like, could you have impulse or was the preparation for that so strategic and focused and developed? What was that like? Every day kind of looked the exact same to the point where I could predict where I'm going to be at a certain minute. So in that regard, my life has definitely changed a lot. Preparation is pretty much the same.

The will to win is the same. And I would... think the impulses are also the same. The outlets are just different. Oh, interesting. Yeah. How did you express your impulses at that time? How did they come through and how were they alive? I used to be chronically online. So I used to play a lot of video games. I used to read a lot of manga or fake online shop. So I put things in my cart and just never buy them. And I would say, yeah, I guess the impulse would be to like buy them. But yeah, I think, you know, now obviously I don't play games as much because I don't have that much time for it. But yeah. How does that work when you fill your cart up with stuff and then don't buy it? Like walk me through that. It's like you go into a mall

and your window shopping. Yeah, right, right. I find it funny sometimes because I like to go to stores I have like vintage or like one of one items. And I get so mad when people buy what's in my cart. Like, wow, how dare you? But you weren't going to buy it anyway. No, but it's nice to know it's there in case I do have an impulse. I love that. What was the feeling like when you won your first grand slam at the US Open such a young age?

What was that feeling like? I think I even have this picture. Like when you see that, can you see that or is it? Are you squinting now? I'm squinting, but I can tell. Yeah. What was that feeling like? Do you know, I think when I was growing up, I had dreams of playing Serena in my first Grand Slam final, if even a Grand Slam final.

So it felt like a dream came true. But at the same time, like all the circumstances surrounding that. was not a dream come true. And it was, I don't know, like some people didn't think it was like a clean victory. And I felt like I had to constantly prove people wrong. And, you know, that situation was a little unfortunate. But I'm glad I won the Australian Open right after that. But in that moment, it was a very, very strange mixture of emotions.

Yeah, it's so hard when what was it? It was happening really. I don't know if you follow soccer at all. And I'm a big soccer fan. And Pep Guardiola, who's the manager of Manchester City. And he's probably one of the best managers of all time in the sport of soccer internationally. And he's on his worst run ever. So he's just lost seven games in a row.

And he's never done that in his entire career. In his whole career, he's never lost more than, I think, two games in a row. This is the first time his team, he's a manager, has lost seven games in a row. and the opposition on the weekend, literally just this weekend that just went by, they were shouting, you're going to get sacked in the morning. And so, you know, and he was reacting to that.

He's truly like, he's in the top two discussion of the best coaches in soccer of all time, and he was receiving that treatment. And it's really interesting because you watch even someone like, again, I'm using soccer examples because that's a sport I know well. But, I mean, even Novak, who, you know, is a good friend, he's been on the show, like the amount of stress

that he receives, the fans and the audience as well, like he hasn't had the easiest road. What did you turn to in that moment because you've just won something, but there's all that feeling. How do you kind of reconcile that? Now when you're looking back, how have you kind of processed that? You know, it's funny is if you asked me this like three years ago, I definitely would have started crying. For a very long time, I didn't process it because I didn't want to. Just I'm the type of person that I'll keep my head down and just keep working hard, and, you know, hopefully I'll get to where I want to be. But for that being the first Grand Slam and that kind of being the introduction into, like, the world for non-teness fans,

it was definitely really difficult for me. And I think no amount of media training could have, like, processed me for that. Why would you have cried three years ago? I just have this very vivid memory of winning going back to my ultimate. And the U.S. Open is special because you kind of get back to your hotel if you have a night match at like 1 a.m. or something like that. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Doing treatment because I was going to go play a tournament in Tokyo right after that. And I was just reading comments of people saying that I didn't deserve to win or like I didn't win fairly. And I don't know. It just really sucked. Yeah, no, that's really fair. I mean, I don't think that would ever be a good feeling. It's the worst. Did you speak to Serena after that as well? Yeah, she's actually really kind and sent me a message and I sent her a message back, but I always get so starstruck by her. Like, I wrote my third grade report on her.

Wow. I just remember getting the message and being like, no way. And then sending a response and immediately putting it on mute because I just couldn't handle it. What was the report about? I think the school was asking, like, who's your role model and why is the person your role model and stuff like that. What did you write? Do you remember? I, I mean, I think I wrote, like, my role model is Serena. And then I had, like, cut out, like, a little printed photo of her because she's the greatest tennis player of all time. And, you know, she's, like, an amazing role model figure for me and stuff like that.

I love that. And then did you guys, have you guys met since then and spoken since then as well? We've met since then. We've also played since then. Yeah. What was that like playing her again and then meeting her again after that? I think I've played her like two or three times after that. And the most recent time was like the second Australian Open that I won.

But prior to the Australian Open, we were having like the COVID lockdown in Australia. so I was a part of the same group she was and her daughter was there and I was still super starstruck. I think I'll always be starstruck by her, but she asked me if I could take a photo with her daughter and I felt so honored. I was like, wow, of course I will. That's awesome. Wow, what a special feeling. I love that.

For your hero to then be asking you to take a picture with their daughter, that's pretty epic. Yeah. How does that feel to young Naomi? Very unbelievable, but also now after having my daughter, I realize how important it is to have good role models. And I'm, I don't know, I'm glad that I potentially am one to somebody. Yeah, I think you are to a lot of people. Before we dive into the next moment, let's hear from our sponsors. No one is harmed, no death, no trauma, just a few cells grown in a dish.

This is David Eagleman from the Inner Cosmos podcast, and this week we're tackling a tough question where brain science meets the future. Lab-grown meat is going to force us to confront the boundaries of our ethics and our imagination. It invites us to question why we draw lines exactly where we do and whether those lines are drawn in ink or in pencil. And what does this have to do with sanctity? brain plasticity, social belonging, messed up boundaries between mental categories, flesh copyrights, and the future of personhood. What is the table we're going to set for ourselves? What does this question uncover about brain science and our calculations of morality? Listen to Inner Cosmos on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

On this week's episode of the next chapter, I, D.D. Jakes, get to sit down with Oprah Winfrey, a media mogul, philanthropist, and global trailblazer. My life, although it may look like an anomaly, it has only been possible because I was obedient to the calls. This episode dies deep into how Oprah turned pain into purpose and what it really means to evolve. with everybody watching. Every decision I have ever made has come from sitting with the spirit and asking God, what would you have me do first? Whether you're rebuilding, reimagining, or just trying to hold it together, this one will speak directly to you.

Listen to the next chapter on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your Podcast episodes drop weekly. Hey, I'm Kelly, and some of you may know me as Laura Winslow. And I'm Telma, also known as Aunt Rachel. If those names ring a bell, then you probably are familiar with the show that we were both on back in the 90s called Family Matters. Kelly and I have done a lot of things and played a lot of roles over the years. But both of us are just so proud to have been part of Family Matters.

Did you know that we were one of the longest running sitcoms with the Blackcast? When we were making the show, there was a show. were so many moments filled the joy and laughter and cut up that I will never forget. Oh, girl, you got that right. The look that you all give me is so black. All black people know about the look. On each episode of Welcome to the Family, we'll share personal reflections about making the show. Yeah, we'll even bring in part of the cast and some other special guests to join in the fun and spill some tea.

Listen to Welcome to the Family with Telma and Kelly on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for taking a moment for that. Now, back to the discussion. I think it's the best feeling in the world when your heroes live up to the versions of them you had in your minds. I feel like I've been so fortunate

to meet so many of my heroes and, you know, they've lived up to it and I feel like I'm always excited to meet my heroes now. I know that old cliche of never meet your heroes. I'm not sure. I think meeting some of them has been

one of the best experiences, some of the best experiences in my life at least, sounds like yours too. How's your life changed for you from the inside becoming a mother? And, you know, like you said, just living this discipline, focused, every day kind of looks like the same,

building up to win, you know, four grand slams and now, you know, living a very different life. I'm guessing every day is definitely not the same. Like, what's changed for you? How has that affected your identity and even self-perception. Becoming a mother has definitely changed my life a lot.

Internally, I feel I've become a lot more patient and also in a weird way more carefree. I think there is a lot of things that used to bother me in the past or I used to hold on to. And now I just kind of see them as, I don't know, pointless. Maybe pointless is a little bit too big of a word. Like what? Huh? You always put me on the spot, huh?

You said you like winging it, so I'm giving you lots of... Every time I ask you one of these questions, you give an amazing answer, so I'm like... I'm trying. I'm racking. I'm just trying to play tennis with you right now. It's like, the hardest shot I give you, the better you give it back, so... I think you won this rally. I'll take that, I'll take it. One of the biggest things for me was that my whole identity, as I knew it, was being a tennis player. So I would, I guess, value my life or what my value was as a person on whether I won or lost.

And now, I don't know, I'm not saying being a mother is my entire being, but I see that there's so much more to life and there's so much that I'm able to, I guess, give to another person in regards to how they feel like my daughter. She smiles so much when I'm around her and it just makes my day. So I no longer really feel like, you know, my life is over if I lose a tennis match or something like that. It's actually quite profound to hear that because I can imagine that when you work that hard at something and you become as good as you are at that thing, it becomes really natural for you to put all your self-worth and all your self-esteem into it. And then now your whole life revolves around it, the way people speak to you, the way people introduce you, the way, you know, every conversation.

becomes about that. How have you detached from like being ranked number one and then being like, well, now my life is moving? Like, has that been a part of that? How do you, how do you detach and disconnect from that kind of strong identity and how it was made? I think it's been a series of learning events. And I can't necessarily name to you what happened because in some ways I feel like I just woke up one day and this clicked or I just woke up another. day and another thought clicked, I feel like I've been really fortunate to have, I guess, people that care about me and they've kind of reinforced the idea that, you know, this isn't the, like, main factor of your life. Yes, this has helped you, like, be in positions like sitting here

right now talking to you, but it's not your entire self-worth. Yeah, I think that's such a powerful message and I hope everyone hears that, you know, loud and clear. I think it's so, easier. You're reminding me of an episode we did with Kevin Hart. And Kevin was talking about how at one point he just thought he was like unstoppable and unbeatable. And it led to him making so many bad decisions. And he was talking about how the best thing he did was to, not in these words, but paraphrasing, like embracing his own insignificance, like recognizing that one day he wouldn't be who he is and that that would be okay too. And it's, it's so, interesting because I feel like we're all trying to get to that place,

that we're all trying to get to this place of like, I'm already enough and I'm okay. And you, I feel like writing and journaling is such a big part of who you are, like even hearing about your school report. And then the post you put up like three days ago. And when I read that, I just thought, wow, you're so reflective, you're so thoughtful. Like, is that a habit that you've had? Obviously, that was something you shared publicly, but just that habit of being able to explain your thoughts and connect them.

in that way? Is that something you do often? Is that a habit you've built over time? I think it started when I was a early teenager maybe. And ironically, I used to hate writing because I remember my English teachers kind of failing me almost because my grammar was always incorrect. So I don't know. I used to try to avoid things that I knew I wasn't good at and writing was one of them. but I think one day I wanted to get my words out, and I'm honestly not the greatest speaker. I kind of title myself that, so I wanted to get my words out in the way that I wanted to convey myself, and writing was the easiest tool for that. So it just kind of built up over the years. Do you write daily? Is journaling like a daily practice?

Yeah, I try to write daily. I try to write my thoughts, what I feel or what I'm grateful for, what I've learned this day. Wow. Did you journal the morning or the evening? So have you already journal today? It kind of changes. Like, depending on my mood, depending if I'm running out the door and I'm wait for practice. Was what you shared three days ago part of your journaling practice? And then how do you decide when you write something, whether to share it publicly or whether to hold it in for yourself? So what I wrote three days ago was like a little snippet of a book that I'm writing that I don't even know if I am doing a disservice to books by calling it a book, but I would say that it's it's kind of my ramblings.

I tend to think things through in my own head a lot, and it's definitely much clearer for me if I write it down and see it. And I don't know. I think the way I decide to post it publicly or share it publicly is if I feel internally it would help someone. You should definitely write that book. It definitely, I found it to be very introspective. But at the same time, when you sometimes read someone's journal entry, it only makes sense to them, but it made sense to me too. And so I think being able to relate to it in that way is what made it a dialogue. Like I felt like I was invited into the conversation and invited into what you were trying to share. And I think the first line of what you said was, you know, the cringe. is coming. There's no cringe. So you said, growing up, I never really liked myself. And then you went on to say, while that statement is bold, I also wouldn't say I disliked myself either.

And I found that really interesting. I want to hear your thoughts on that because I never thought my life was easy, but I never thought my life was hard. I just knew it was my life. That's how I've always felt growing up. So when you said that, that's what I thought of. Why were you intrigued in sharing that? And what were you reflecting on there? Honestly, I was kind of reflecting on what you just said. Like, growing up, we would be constantly on the tennis court, and I would watch other kids go to summer vacation or not have to shovel the snow off the court to hit tennis balls.

And I would always think, dang, like, I kind of want to be someone else. But at the same time, like, I love my mom. I love my dad. I love my sister. I kind of like my life, you know. I think it's a really weird, like, thought process. And I think especially growing up and seeing tabloids, seeing pop singers, thinking, wow, like, their life must be so perfect. I'd rather prefer to be them than to be me right now.

And then eventually getting to the point where you, like, mature and you grow up and you're so grateful for the life that you have. So it was kind of accumulation of years. Yeah. Can you sing? If we're doing karaoke, and it has to be a very specific song. What's your karaoke song? I really love Bohemian Rhapsody. Oh, wow.

Okay, that's not an easy one either. Okay, we're going to have to go karaoke once in a second. Okay, only in Tokyo, though. Only in Tokyo? What are the karaoke places like in Tokyo? I think they're really fun. Some people take it very seriously. So I've seen videos online of people being in there for hours,

just practicing their vocal training. They need a karaoke party to hear this. I feel like I'm mentally scarred from going to karaoke because I worked at a company after, I worked at a company in 2013, and as part of the training, we went to Chicago, and we went to a karaoke bar. So there's a bunch of Brits in Chicago at this karaoke bar.

And all the girls were doing karaoke, the guys were kind of trying to act cool. I can't sing to save my life, and none of my friends could either. So we were trying not to, you know, know, get too involved. And then one of our friends grew up, shout out to Ollie, who I'm not friends. I don't, I'm not in touch with him anymore.

But anyway, this guy called Ollie from work turns up and he decides to sing a hound dog, Elvis. And he's like dancing with the waitress. He's like pulling the chair up. He's like doing all this stuff. And all other boys were scarred. We're like, we can never go and do karaoke ever again because he was so good. Shout out, Ollie, if you're listening, wherever you are. You are amazing at karaoke.

What I found so interesting about that reflection, that's where it came from. We were talking about your post, is just the way, there was one thing that you said. I want to pick another thing that really stood out to me. In my mind, everyone was on a racetrack, and I had an immense fear of being lapped or falling behind. And then you say, strangely enough, there are still moments today where I feel like I'm behind. That thought might never truly go away, even though I know how absurd it is. is. Have you made peace with the idea that you don't think that thought will ever go away? Yeah. How did you do that? I don't know. It used to bother me a lot. Like I always used to compare

myself to people and I think especially being a tennis player, you count titles, you count wins and you kind of size yourself up against other people your age or in your division. And I'd always feel like constantly on this race of like who's better, who's going to be better, who's not doing as well. And that's kind of transferred, I guess, onto me as a person. It's definitely gotten a lot better. But I feel like for me, it's kind of on the same line as being very competitive. I'm a very competitive person. So I don't think I'll ever truly not try to size myself up against other people. Yeah, it's, it's that weird balance, isn't it? It's like, how do you stay competitive and also be content? Because you don't want to be lost being so competitive that your competitiveness becomes constant comparison.

And we always hear the old cliche of, well, compete against your old self. Do you find that to be true now that you're playing tennis again after being a mom? Like, is that something you're to do or do you disagree and you actually think it is still about being competitive on the core? You know what's funny is I think I spent most of this year chasing my old self or my former shadow and I don't necessarily think that's the way to go. I think, you know, you were who you were and now you're a more beautiful, more mature version of that and it would kind of be doing your own self a disservice to constantly compare. And I don't know. I think there's beauty in stepping into the present and looking towards the future.

So I no longer compare myself to my old version. And I don't know. I try to find myself more excited for what I could be. What does that look like sometimes when you kind of get into that? What's pulling you? What vision comes to mind? I think the vision that comes to mind isn't necessarily like winning as many trophies as I can, which that would be great.

and I am hopeful that that will happen in the future. But I guess being happy to learn more, to meet new people to learn from them, and just learn more about myself throughout those journeys. I find that as a tennis player, I'm quite stubborn. So it's very hard for me to take advice from someone that I don't trust. And in actuality, like talking to people, I kind of learn new things or learn new tips and tricks. Yeah.

What do you wish you knew about motherhood before you became a mother? You know, it's funny. I don't think there's really anything that can prepare you for being a mom. Like I read so many books and nothing really took me by surprise because I read so many books. Any good ones you recommend or any advice that really stood true? So something you wish to know, I wish to know that after a certain age, the baby will just poo in the tub and you're just going to have to accept it. And my daughter, I remember there was one night.

She did a number two in the tub. And she looked at me. She screamed. She said, yucky. And she walked away from it while like expecting me to pick it up. And I was like, okay, I guess that's fine. Like, we're just going to clean this up and restart the bat. So, yeah, I guess that's something I wish I knew.

And then what was the other question? No, no, I was saying if there was a book or something, and advice from a book that stood true and that really helped. Before you give birth, you could have like a birthing class. So I did that. And while I was in labor, I did absolutely none of those tips and trips. So yeah, I feel like also with motherhood or with pregnancy, everyone's journey is so different.

What was the process like going from giving birth to then getting back on the court, even back to training, not even a game, but like to get back to training. What did that look like for you? It was really difficult just because for me with my daughter while I was pregnant, I was constantly sick. And the only way I could alleviate that is through like eating stuff to like settle the stomach pain. So I ended up gaining a lot of weight. So I really needed to burn that off. And I'm the type of person that I'll train during pregnancy, even though people have half and half opinions on that. So I ended up training, I would say, almost up until she was born.

And then immediately after, like maybe seven to ten days, I started training again. Wow. And I know that caused a little bit of a stir online. But I don't know. I think, you know, my body's used to training because I've done that since I was super young. And I wouldn't recommend it to, I guess, people that don't work out often. What was the kind of stare online? It was just people saying that I need to heal more and stuff like that.

But actually, like, after I gave birth, I remember the nurse asking me if I needed, like, a wheelchair to the bathroom. And I had to convince her that I was fine and I could walk around by myself and stuff like that. So I just feel like bodies are very different. Yeah, it's so interesting how we still feel we can tell people what to do. And when it's right for us to know what's right for them and this kind of view of like, oh, well, I know what's best for you right now without living and walking in your shoes. You've experienced a lot of that, like, kind of like snapback culture and that feeling of like people kind of, you know, I've seen some interviews where I just felt, I felt embarrassed for the person asking you,

but I felt worse for you that someone would even ask you questions like that. And you're awesome because you will just call them out and you're not worried about like, you know, making it known. How have you got good at doing that? Because I think so many people would get scared or be shy or be, but you know, you're okay with the fact of like, hey, I don't think that's a great question to ask, you know, which I respect. I don't know.

I feel like my personality type is very honest. Like I pride myself on being very straightforward and honest. And that's kind of what's gotten me in trouble quite a couple. times, but I guess when we're doing a press conference, I see the people on the other side of the table as humans. And I would say that's also where the line started to get blurred for me a little bit is because I've been doing press conferences since I was like 16, 17. And then obviously when I began to become a little bit more known, more and more people entered those press conferences. I felt like they weren't treating me like I was a human. It was more like, let's ask her a question to get this like one liner or this article grab. So that's kind of where I started to become a little bit fearful. I think people can see that I became a little bit more closed off.

Yeah, which is natural. I mean, going back to what we were talking about with King Richard, I still remember that scene where like her dad has to stop the interviewer from asking her those questions because he's like she's like 15 years old. And it's interesting, you know, the kind of questions that I think a lot of, like I said, athletes, managers, coaches get asked. And we've seen a lot of athletes in the past 12 months, I feel like really there was a Janice who came out and he, you know, I think they were like, oh, well, what is it going to be like when you don't win the championship this year? And he's like, well, do you get promoted every year? He's like, you don't.

So, you know, we're not going to win the championship every year. And that doesn't mean we failed. How have you, we talked about you comparing yourself to others, but when people from the outside of comparing you to other people. How have you dealt with that? Like, how have you kind of processed that? It's easy to think about, like, for me, I can brush that off quite easily because I know it's my life and I'm living it. I know that the decisions that I make are going to be very different to other people's decisions. And I don't know. It's, it's, no one can ever predict someone else's path. I just realized, like, some people will understand that and some people won't. And it's not

my job to convince people of that. But at the same time, I guess seeing comparisons is hard because you can wonder, I guess. I think for me the most dangerous thing is the wonder. I wonder if they're right or I wonder if, you know, I wonder how they're seeing things like that. Yeah, yeah. It's so natural and so real. I literally had a friend reach out to me yesterday. and she was just like, Jay, I've got this really big launch coming up in my life in her career. And she was like, but I was watching one of my friends. And he had his big launch event. And then I was comparing mine to his.

And I think it's something we all do. I know I do it too. Like it's such a natural thing. And I loved what you said earlier that it's just a thought you have to make peace with that. The thought's going to come up. Like we're not going to be able to get away with that thought. We're not going to be able to avoid that thought. And it's what we do with that thought, and it's how we respond to it that makes all the difference.

And this desire for that thought to never appear and to never happen again, that's what kind of causes us so much tension. It's almost like the day we accept that you can't avoid a thought, even if it's not peaceful, is the day you find peace. Because you just realize that you can't keep resisting it and you can't push it away. And then all of a sudden it loses its power on you. I don't know if that resonates or makes sense at all. Yeah, I would say it definitely makes sense. I think even trying to avoid a thought makes it much stronger. For me, I found myself often trying to meditate when I have a lot of thoughts. I love listening to ocean noises or rain. I think water has a very powerful effect on me. And I don't try to push thoughts away. I try to welcome them and not solve them, but figure out. why they're coming in an abundance. When did you start meditating? I think honestly

before my first US Open win. Wow. Yeah. How did you get introduced to it? I didn't really get introduced to it. I just began noticing like I really enjoyed rainy days and I began wondering what was the cause of that and why did it cause me so much peace and I knew grand slams were particularly first rounds, they were very stressful. And so I just started listening to rain noises, I guess, the night before matches. How does it feel living in L.A. when we don't get a lot of rain waves? That doesn't bother me that much. I used to live in Florida and we would get like random rainstorms and I don't know. It was fun, but it was also a little bit chaotic for practice. Yeah, yeah. I love that self-awareness of being able to connect rainy days.

to water sounds and rain sounds. I think, yeah, it's so interesting. I love water sound too. I find it so soothing and calming and beautiful. And it's such an interesting thing. The fact that you never got introduced to meditation, but we're able to come to it of your own self of recognizing what connects with you

and what makes you feel calm. That's pretty awesome. Is it something you still practice now or has it evolved at all? No, it's definitely something I practice now. I have an app on my phone that also does brain waves while having the water noises and I listen to it every night. We've been talking a lot about like disconnecting and detaching from previous versions of ourselves. You've talked about how like getting your mom to like, you know, not work as hard

was such a big goal for wanting to become a successful tennis player. What was it like when you reach that goal when you could actually relieve her of all that pressure? It was a very joyful day. But at the same time, it was a little difficult for me because it was a goal that I've set for myself since I was very young. And I almost felt a little lost like I had to immediately set a new goal for myself. I mean, it was awesome to see her not work anymore. But just that like immediate race to set a new goal for myself and to set a new standard was something that I struggled with for maybe a couple days. Yeah, I mean, I can imagine it being harder than that because I feel like that's such a strong why, like such a strong purpose of wanting your mom not to have to work that hard and that has so much meaning to it, it has so much gravitas to it. Often goals are like, oh, I want to win something or I want to get somewhere and then when you make it about service or helping your mother or helping someone, it almost gets so much deeper.

I can imagine it's really hard to find a goal that deep again. Have you been able to find a new goal that feels that deeply rooted again? Not really. I think for me, most of my childhood was wanting my mom to stop working because I rarely saw her unless it was dinner time. It was in a way, I think, me trying to see my mother more often. And once I accomplished that, then it became more winning or making history or being the first Asian number one, stuff like that. And obviously, yeah, they're a little more shallow, but still meaningful. But yeah, I think now, you know, I do have meaningful goals.

Maybe they're just not as touching as, you know, retiring my mom. But I'd love for my daughter to reach an age where she can see me play and kind of understand. understand everything what's going on. You'll have to keep playing. I definitely have to keep playing for a little while longer, but I think, you know, I've learned so much throughout the year, so I'm excited to learn more. Are you excited for her to get on the court? Would you like how to play as well?

People ask me this all the time, and I think before I had her, I said definitely not. But I think now, like, you know, if she's interested about the sport, I'd want her to learn, and she has a racket that she loves to swing around. I love that. But first, here's a quick word from the brands that support the show. This week on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Hamler. Nicholas Sparks is here. I would imagine that you've gotten a lot of feedback

about setting a standard of love and romance that a lot of men probably can't measure up to. I have heard such stories at my book signings, right? Where's my Noah? Where's my John from Dear John? And at the same time, in the course of my career, I've had seven marriage proposals in lines to sign my book. Oh, really?

They get up to the table. The doodle dropped to his knees. And I feel so bad for him. I'm like, dude, you're in a Walmart in Birmingham, Alabama, you know. But it's happened. And you get a lot more of those kinds of stories than people coming up and say, I've ruined men for the rest, which I'm glad. I would feel bad if that was more common, actually. No, that's what you come to Dear Chelsea for to get uprated.

Listen to Dear Chelsea on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Radhi Dvlukaya and I am the host of a really good cry podcast. This week, I am joined by Anna Runkle, also known as the crappy childhood fairy, a creator, teacher, and guide helping people heal from the lasting emotional wounds of unsafe or chaotic childhoods. We talk about how the things we went through when we were younger can still show up in adult lives, in our relationships, our reactions, even in the way we feel in our own bodies. And Anna opens up about her own story, what helped her notice the patterns she was stuck in, and how she slowly started teaching her body that it is safe now.

So when I got attacked, it was very random. Four guys jumped out of a car and just started beating me and my friend. And they broke my jaw on my teeth. I was unconscious. Then I woke up and I screamed. And I screamed because even though I didn't know who I was or where I was, something in me was just like, hold on, wait, they could kill me, and I'm not going to let that happen. I'm not going to let that happen. I'm going to get through this, and I did. Listen to a really good cry on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What do you get when you mix 1950s Hollywood, a Cuban musician with a dream, and one of the most iconic sitcoms of all time? You get Desi Arness, a trailblazer, a businessman, a husband, and maybe most importantly, the first Latino to break prime time wide open.

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Listen to starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama as part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. All right, thank you to our sponsors. Now let's dive back in. When you were going through your, when you announced that you weren't going to play and you took your break from tennis and competitive tennis for some time, what were you actually dealing with? Like, what were you actually experiencing from a mental health perspective? Like, what did that look like for you? I'd say the French Open Break, what I was dealing with at the time,

a lot of shame, which I talked to you about, like, feeling embarrassed, feeling ashamed, like going against everything an athlete stood for, which is like, you know, fake it till you make it, or don't show the other person, you know, any cracks in your eyes. armor. Honestly, just feeling very alone. I think tennis, of course, for me, I don't play doubles, so it's a solo sport, and I don't necessarily have, you know, the most friends on tour. So I didn't really know what public reaction or reaction in general was. I remember after I pulled out of the French Open, I flew back home to L.A. and I just stayed in my house for maybe a week or two,

and I didn't, I just like Instacarted and Uber eats everything because I didn't want to see the outside world. So I would say going to the Olympics after that changed my mindset a lot because there were so many athletes that thanked me. And I felt so much shock because I didn't know that I was helping anyone. And I almost kind of went into the Olympics thinking like people are going to, you know, think that I'm like the worst happening. athlete of all time. What was it that was weighing on you that even made you want to share the decision? Like what were you going through that was so hard for you to play and perform at that time? The emotions at the time felt so heavy. And I'm trying to like recreate, you know, the exact emotions that led to the decision. But I remember I won the US Open, won the Australian Open,

was trying my best to like win the French as well. And historically, I used to, don't have like the best clay records. So a lot of press were asking me about that and leading up into it. I wasn't doing amazing, but I wasn't doing terrible either. But I just was so stressed out going into the tournament that I didn't want to answer questions about it anymore because it was like a constant everyday thing. And I just wanted to focus on, you know, what I could do. It just kind of got to a breaking point because I remember saying I wasn't going to do media. And then that kind of blew up in my face everywhere and it became such a big deal and I didn't know why. I just felt really bad because the tournament was very upset and I kind of felt like, you know,

like people weren't focusing on the tennis anymore. It was just focusing on who's not doing press, why I should not do impress. And so I just decided to leave. Wow. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that, by the way, because I think it's, yeah, it just, as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking about it. Like, when you look at movies, actors make a movie and then they do a press run.

And you're talking about a movie that you've recorded, like, in the past, or you filmed in the past, music's the same. You record an album, then you go and talk about it. This is the opposite way. You're like, you're being asked about it before you go on the court and then obviously after as well. And I can imagine, like, you just want to be focused. And I mean, you know, I don't do anything of any similar pressure, but I can think about

even when I'm just going on stage to give a talk or a presentation or even. even an interview like this, and I know how much I need my downtime and my personal time to prepare and get my mindset right. And this isn't a competition. It's not stressful in the way the games are physically or mentally or anything. And so I can imagine that that becomes really difficult. Who are the athletes that came up to you and said something to you at the Olympics that made you feel a sense of, I mean, I think you already knew you did the right thing, but people who came and reminded you that it was definitely a good decision. A lot of, like, female athletes. I got a really nice message from other tennis players as well. And I felt like

I went from feeling very alone to not feeling so alone at all. So it was really nice. Who'd be your ideal doubles partner if you did play? If I had to have a male doubles partner, Andre Agassi. Oh, wow. And then female, I would say Serena, but I would be very scared. To let her down? Yeah, I would be apologizing all the time. So, you know what, Venus? She's always been so incredibly kind.

Oh, I love that. I love that. There must be some secret tennis society where you can make that happen when no one's watching, right, like a private game. You know, potentially, but also I feel like everyone's just, you know, living their lives. Yeah, yeah.

I once got to play a private game against Novak Djokovic and I got destroyed. I'm sorry, but I would have expected that. I couldn't return. I couldn't even return a serve. Like, I couldn't even get to it. Oh, really? Yeah, that's how bad. And he was going easy too?

Probably, yeah. I imagine so. He's a nice guy. He was like trying to coach me and help me out just for fun. But it was an embarrassing day. You talk about loneliness and friendship. And I find any athlete who's on the road as much as a tennis player, Formula One races, soccer players, pretty much every other. every sport, there's so much travel involved. Like, how have you built friendships and how have you

maintained friendships as it isn't a team sport? And I think team sports, we forget that there is a sense of camaraderie. At least you have two or three people that become close friends. But when you're playing a single sport, it's actually a lot more challenging to have that. What does your friend circle look like and how is it evolved over time? Honestly, I'm pretty lucky because even though I'm not playing a team sport, I still have a team around me. So, you know, like my trainer, my physio, my coach, my hitting partner, we all travel the world together. And I'm the type of person that it does take a while to open up. But I don't know, once I do open up, things might get a little crazy. For me, that relationship with my team is very important. And it's helped me a lot over the years. And of course, I

I guess talking to my mom, talking to my big sister, keeping those relationships is super important. You've said before that Kobe was a mentor for you as well, right? Kobe Bryant, who I was so grateful and honored to have a conversation with around five years ago now, sadly before his tragic passing. And what was that relationship like for you? And why was it so important and powerful to you? How did you even meet? I met him because my agent, we were, I don't know, something had happened. And then we were talking about someone that would be a good mentor for me. And he just was like, okay, Kobe. I don't, in my head, that's how it went. There was probably like very, like multiple steps to get to Kobe. But yeah, one day we were at his office and me and him sat and talked for like two hours. And he's such a genuine.

guy and it was just so easy and pleasant to talk to him and that relationship was is something that I treasure a lot because I felt like he was my big brother and I could talk to him about sports advice and life advice and just things that were in my head. Was there a piece of advice that he gave you that stayed with you? Basically, I remember asked him once like how does he not pay attention to people's opinions. And then he was like referencing animal planet and saying like you have to be the lion and the flies around your eyes are people's opinions and you just have to focus and keep your eyes straight. I love that. Do you find new mentors now is looking for mentorship a part of

where you're at right now or is it no time whatsoever? I'm not necessarily sure. I would consider anyone my mentor after him. And I feel like the word mentor is such a big one. I would love to have people to converse with. And it's also weird because when I think of mentor, I think of someone that's like older than me. And I would love to have one. I just, you know, don't really know how I would approach that. Maybe I would ask my agent again. Ask your agent. Yeah. He seems to know. He's even figuring out last time. Yeah, I'm kind of more interested in. like trying to be a mentor to someone. I know that, you know, my path wasn't exactly the smoothest,

but I would hope that the younger generation could maybe learn a thing or two. If you were coaching someone or mentoring them, what would be a piece of advice that you'd want to pass on to them or what's something that you feel you'd really want to instill in them? I think it would go back to like the Haitian, the Haitian way of like giving, even though, you know, I think human nature a little bit is to be selfish. recently I've kind of dealt with or overcome the feeling of the fear of being forgotten.

And I think in that way, we kind of tend to keep things close to the vest. And for me, I think sharing is caring and just trying to make the world better for the kids that come after us. I really believe that we're wired for generosity, but educated for greed. And that selfishness comes in because society and, encourages you to want to get, to achieve, to get somewhere when actually your essence is trying to just be and live and experience and learn and heal. It's almost like there's two tracks and I think we're on both of them, but I think often we just get onto one of them. And it becomes about achieving and winning, which is important. But you get away from the being, living and experiencing.

And it's like, how do you make sense of both of those? And you're right, having mentors is such a beautiful way to kind of following the footsteps of someone who's been there, done that, and had to think about those things earlier than you. But it seems like you still talk to your family a lot, your team, as you said, you're surrounded by them a lot. Who's the person you spend the most time with right now when you're not on the court and not thinking about tennis? And what's something you do when you're not playing or not preparing?

Currently the person I spend the most time with is my daughter. Yeah, of course. You said she's one year and five months? Yes, and she's teaching me a lot how to put my foot down because she definitely puts her foot down. It's the person I spend the most time with. Maybe either my boyfriend or my trainer, because my trainer is with me like a very, very long time out of the day.

She's a funny guy. Is it? Why is your trainer a funny guy? Can I ask you, what is your Zori? Yeah, I'm a Virgo. Yeah, he's a Virgo too. Okay, all right, okay. So now I'm a funny guy tonight.

Yeah. What dates his birthday, do you know? I think, August, no, September, September 8th. Oh, I'm September 6th. Oh, okay. Carry on, now continue. So, yeah. I'm thick-skinned, it's all right.

You can say what you know. I don't know. I feel like Virgoes are very, like, they want to be perfectionist, or they are perfectionists and it's just funny to interact with him and um you know like i when i get comfortable with people i goof around a lot and i love seeing him get frustrated about it a little bit um that yeah it's it's just nice because i find virgos to be very knowledgeable in their fields well that's very kind thank you no i i i've learned i've definitely learned over the years to give up that perfectionism I've learned that.

And my wife's been a big impact for that, for sure, because she's such a goofball. And so I've always said, like, I'm the kind of person that takes life too seriously, and my wife doesn't take life seriously at all. That's robbed off on each other. And it's been good to lose that kind of, yeah, but I definitely still have moments of it for sure. Like, I can't be late. I have such a thing about being late. It upsets me so much.

And definitely I like things in order, and I like things to be in their place. that's all very, very true. So me and you, me and your trainer would get along, I guess. Yeah, I think so. Maybe, maybe. When's your birthday? Um, October, so Libra. Okay. October, what day? 16th. Okay. Do you have a special ritual that you like to celebrate your birthday with or anything that comes around or not really? Usually I'm in Tokyo around those dates, but if I'm not at a tournament, I prefer to be like on the beach somewhere. So, um, I think that's my ritual. I think now, obviously with the birth of my daughter, I'd love to always have her around. Is the beach a happy place or is that just vacation?

It's my happy place. Like I go there to think or write things down or just to, I guess, have some joy. Do you still go regularly now? Like, is that part of... That's where I race to in my car. Oh, really? Okay, got it. All right. So look for a tinted window car and go stand near a beach and you might get to race Naomi. I love that. I love that. you have such an endearing personality. Like I love it when you think you're about to say something really like awkward or whatever it is that goes through your mind and then you laugh about it and then you share it. But it always turns out to be brilliant.

Like it's always funny and interesting and entertaining. And what's allowed you to be comfortable in your own skin lately? I think I'm very lucky because I've kind of been forced to be comfortable in my own skin. and I think that's due to being a little bit different. I guess in general, I'm Japanese, but maybe presenting, I don't look Japanese. So that's when I was younger that often caught people off guard. But for me, this is just, you know, this is just how I look. This is how I know that I am.

And having both cultures is my way of life. And I've always felt very confident and comfortable with that. So I would say it's not necessarily something I've struggled with often, but I think also another phase of that is motherhood and trying to snap back with snap back culture. And I'm just, yeah, I guess loving myself, so self-love. I'm always fascinated by high-performing individuals who've played in the top 1% of not only athletes,

but then of your own sport. What does your routine look like on a game day? Like, how do you prep yourself? How do you get in the zone? And what does that look like? You talked about meditation earlier and things, but what does an actual breakdown look like? This is where, like, the routine kicks in.

So every day is kind of the exact same. I eat breakfast. Well, I wake up, meditate, take a shower, eat breakfast. Specific breakfast? Yeah, always the same breakfast every time. Usually it'd be like smoked salmon, but I'm kind of off that phase right now. So yeah, go to the tournament site, do like light hitting and then change into my outfit, listen to music, do like a game prep and then warm up and play the match. Do you sleep well before a big game?

Depends how big it is. I know before all of my finals, I didn't sleep as well. I think, yeah, I don't know. I just remember waking up sweating. I don't think you're really supposed to sleep well before moments like that. I ask because I remember like even having like big interviews and things like that. When I say interviews, I mean like when I was being interviewed for being at companies, which seemed like an important part of my career at one point, I remember just never sleeping well.

Like the adrenaline is in my body. I'm like rehearsing in my head. but it's so important to playing well the next day to have rest and recovery and everything else was there any secret that you found to be able to sleep or at least be energetic the next day? Not really, but I found myself constantly playing the match in my head in my dreams the night before matches.

So I felt like when the time actually came, I had already prepared myself for that and it actually helped me out quite a lot. If someone right now was, you know, going through depression or suffering from a mental health condition or experiencing something and they're listening right now. And we know that our audience really turns to us in those times. And so many people have listened to episodes here that have helped them through really

difficult times in their life. What would you say to them? What would you share with them? I don't ever claim to no answers. But I think when I was at really low moments of my life, I felt like I was alone. So I would say you're never alone. There's always going to be people that care about you way more than you think. And sometimes I think we hide it so well that we're struggling that they don't even know.

So it's okay to ask for help and you shouldn't ever feel shame for that. I love that. Yeah, no, it's always helpful hearing it from someone who's been through it. And I know our audience appreciates that a lot. Was there any specific healing method or technique or approach that really helped you, especially getting over that shame, that guilt, that feeling you were carrying? Was there anything that helped? Honestly, I think just interacting with people, I tend to close myself off a lot,

whether it's like being in my room by myself. So yeah, just interacting with people, talking to my sister, and just realizing that there's a lot more to, like, than I know. A few moments ago you were talking about how like there was this feeling of, you know, being forgotten and then taking a break. So like having the courage to take a break when you have the fear of being forgotten is probably one of the most courageous acts for anyone in the world, whatever they do.

How have you kind of been able to make that decision and been able to reconcile that for yourself? I think it's a process that's kind of been sped up by the events. of my life. I feel like those two things are maybe something that should have been spread out throughout years, but I just happen to put it together. I don't know. I've won four grand slams. I've been very fortunate to light the Olympic torch. There's probably some more that my agent wants me to say, but I don't know. Those are the things that come to my mind. And I've in a way accomplished so much more than I thought I would. And I want to accomplish so much more. But at the same time, like I needed to separate myself as a person.

I think I told you I've been playing tennis since I was three, so that's the only identity I know of myself. And I needed the break to figure out who I was as a person. And now I hope I do and I think I do, but I'm able to stand tall and be confident. And I don't know, be proud of myself for that. Yeah, I think that's the greatest accomplishment. I really do.

hearing you speak today and I'm just so excited for everyone who's going to listen to recognize that the day we're not defined by our careers is it's so interesting how society became defined by what we do at one point and the question became what do you do and then that's how we introduced ourselves and even if you look at last names at one point they all became about a career like baker and blacksmith and whatever all these names became our last names because they were our occupation. And so they became our total identity. And it's so interesting to think about how even in today's society, our worth, everything is defined by what you do for a living. And so to be able to go beyond that as young as you are and as early as you

are, I think it's a really powerful place to be and only good can come from it. So it's pretty remarkable. Thank you. I love hearing that. Thanks for saying I'm young. I said, thanks for saying You're young. Where is people making you feel old? You know, maybe I'm making myself feel old. I think that's it. Yeah, I don't think you're old. I think it's also like growing up in the tennis world.

There's always constantly young people coming up. So I start feeling like a grandma. That's a great point. That makes a lot of sense. I feel like if you're in an industry where everyone's 18 or 19 or I guess in tennis cases like three. Like you said you started with three. I was like, of course, you're going to feel ancient.

everyone's dying at three years out. Naomi, it's been such a joy to talk to you today. Honestly, I've loved every moment of it. And I appreciate you being so open and funny. And like this conversation was as playful as it was profound. And I loved that when I felt like we were playing tennis. I was like, you know, I hope so. You said I won one rally. So I'll take that. I think you won that one. Okay. All right. I'll take you. I'm going to say, I won the set. Yeah. No, I think you won the set. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. I think you won the set. What do you think the score? was. Oh, gosh.

All right. You know, you tell me what you think this call was. Let's get it really close. Seven, six. Seven, six? All right, so you're going to let me go that far. I like that. I like that. Well, we end every episode with a final five. These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum. Oh, wow. And so Naomi Osaka, these are your final five. The first question is, what's the best advice you've ever heard or received? Wow. Does that count as my answer? What's that?

Saying, ah. Wait, it's the best advice. Best advice I've ever heard. Just be yourself. Question number two, what's the worst advice you've ever heard or received? Just be yourself? I'm just kidding. What's the worst advice I've ever heard?

It's like when people say just smile. But, you know, sometimes I don't want to smile. Sorry. That was... No, no, no, I get it. No, I understand it. It's a forced emotion. It doesn't work.

You can't force either. Question number three, what's something you used to value that you don't value anymore? People's opinions. Because I think I, I don't know, I value my own opinion more. And I think I might have a better opinion because I'm living my life. Question number four, what are you most excited for in the next 12 months? Seeing my daughter grow and returning and playing on tour to play more tournaments. Which tournament do you get most excited about?

Oh, always the slams. I feel like they're so special. Yeah, I need to come watch you. You should. Yeah, I'd love that. That would be awesome. Fifth and final question, we ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone had to follow, what would it be?

Do something good for, I guess, the younger generation? Or do something good for the person coming up after you? That's a great law. I love that. I think you've definitely done that. You've genuinely, ever since I read your op-ed and learned about what you were doing to open up about mental health, I was like, I need to meet this human. I was in awe of what you used your platform to do. I think it's been incredible how it's given so many people permission, so many people the opportunity to actually not just smile and share how they actually feel. and I think it's sent ripples into not just the sports world but beyond. And so I thank you so much for your service and what you've done for so many. And I'm so grateful that you allowed me to interview today.

And thank you so much. I really appreciate it. If you love this episode, I need you to listen to one of my favorite conversations ever. It's with the one and only Tom Holland on how to overcome your social anxiety, especially in situations where you're not drinking. and everyone else is. We talk about his sobriety journey and so much more,

he gets really personal. I can't wait for you to hear it. It's going to blow your mind. The quote is, if you have a problem with me, text me, and if you don't have my number, you don't know me well enough

to have a problem with me. On the podcast Health Stuff, we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night. I'm Dr. Priyankawali, a double board certified physician. And I'm Hurricane Dabolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled,

do I have scurvy at 3 a.m. And on our show, we're talking about health in a different way, like our episode where we look at diabetes. In the United States, I mean, 50% of Americans are pre-diabetic. How preventable is type 2? Extremely. Listen to health stuff on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. We were in the car, like a Rolling Stone, came on, and he said, there's a line in there about your mother. And I said, what? What I would do if I didn't feel like I was being accepted is choose an identity that other people can't have. I knew something had happened to me in the middle of the night,

but I couldn't hold on to what had happened. These are just a few of the moving and important stories on my 13th season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What do you get when you mix 1950s Hollywood, a Cuban musician with a dream, and one of the most iconic

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