On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Olivia Culpo ON: The Power of Positivity & How to Believe in Yourself When Others Don’t

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

Do you want to meditate daily with me? Go to go.calm.com/onpurpose to get 40% off a Calm Premium Membership. Experience the Daily Jay. Only on CalmJay Shetty sits down with Olivia Culpo to talk about her positive approach in life. From how she started her pageantry journey and later on winning an international title to opening up about her medical condition and learning to be self-sufficient throughout her career, she continues to approach every hurdle with persistence and a free spirit. Sometimes, not taking ourselves too seriously is the best way to move forward.Olivia Culpo is a leading influencer in the fashion and beauty world, and she’s ready to share her style expertise with the world. Born and raised in Rhode Island, Olivia represented her home state and the United States in the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants, becoming the first winning contestant representing the United States in 15 years. She’s gone on to work extensively in the modeling, fashion, and beauty space, and loves to share everything from makeup tips to cooking recipes with her followers.Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/What We Discuss:00:00 Intro02:54 The passion to pursue a family business05:26 Getting into pageantry08:23 Believing in the power of prayer and practicing meditation13:44 We all have something we are working through16:52 Having people you can turn to18:54 Affirmations can be transformative20:24 Going through Endometriosis23:26 Honesty and straightforwardness 26:33 Learning to be self-sufficient32:20 Approaching every opportunity with persistency36:15 Coping with life by being free-spirited40:18 Olivia on Final Five  Episode ResourcesOlivia Culpo | WebsiteOlivia Culpo | FacebookOlivia Culpo | TwitterOlivia Culpo | InstagramSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Hart, Louis Hamilton, and many, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. What if you could tell the whole truth about your life, including all those tender and visible things we don't usually talk about?

I'm Megan Devine. Host of the podcast, it's okay that you're not okay. Look everyone's at least a little bit not okay these days, and all those things we don't usually talk about, maybe we should. This season I'm joined by stellar guests like Abbermote, Rachel Cargol, and so many more. It's okay that you're not okay. New episodes each and every Monday, available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season,

and yet we're constantly discovering new secrets. The variety of them continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share ten incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I think the key is not taking things too personally. This is a journey and it is called life and we're all going to mess up. Everyone's gonna mess up. Everyone's gonna react instead of think when they're triggered. And I think just giving yourself grace,

giving the other person grace, and apologizing when you have done something wrong is something that we have to offer one another to really reach our own individual potential. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now, you know that I'm always trying to discover interesting stories, fascinating people who have so much to share through their life, through their experience, what they've

been through, what they've achieved, and what they've seen. And today's guest is someone that I've been so excited to speak to you for quite a while now, and I'm so glad that we finally have her online. So today's guest is none other than Olivia Culpo, who's created a substantial platform in modeling, beauty, and fashion. What began as a minor pageant run

turned into a multi-title winning streak, culminating in a highly successful modeling career that has since made her a household name. In just a matter of years, she's created a massive worldwide platform that stretches across entertainment, beauty, fashion, substantiating herself as a fierce entrepreneur and business-minded woman. In August 2017, Olivia opened the restaurant back 40 with a family in North Kingston, Rhode Island. Welcome to the show, Olivia Carpo. Olivia, thank you so much for doing this.

Thank you so much. I have to say, you really nail the intros. I've heard a few of your, actually, every single one of your podcasts, really. And I'm only so amazed by your way of communicating and also the intros. I mean, I don't deserve that. I don't deserve that at all. So thank you. Well, you deserve it because it's all true, but we love you more for saying you don't deserve it. But I had no idea that you actually listened to the podcast. So now I'm, I'm like the one who's feeling like I don't deserve that because I had no idea that you were a listener. Oh, absolutely.

Yes, you are constantly inspiring me. I love the topics, I love your guests. I take away every tidbit that I can and I'm all for doing this self work. So thank you for making it easier for us to become better and happier people. Oh, you're the kindest. Thank you so much.

Well, I want to dive straight in because I have so many things I want to talk to you about. And the first thing I want to ask you is just some conversation starters for us to get in there. I heard that you were about to open your second restaurant, which you coined with your dad in New England. Could you, could you tell us a bit about, first of all, congratulations. But could you tell us about where the passion for that came from and especially doing it with your father? I mean, that sounds so special.

It is really special. So I come from a big family. I'm the middle of five. And my dad and my mom both started their career as professional musicians. And that's how they met. My dad had five kids when he was like 32. And he really didn't know how he was going to be able to support us and give us the life that he wanted us to with his salary as a

musician that was not existing because he wasn't getting hired. So he had to put things into perspective and he started as a bartender. He really, really worked his way up. He used to count every single penny he would take. And now he owns that bar and owns a lot of other restaurants. And I think growing up with his work at the conspired me to always want to do something in the restaurant industry.

But on top of that, I think just seeing the community that you build through restaurants is amazing in itself, like good food and good people in quality time. It's like, those are, that's what life is about for me. And I grew up around that and so I really do love and appreciate it. That's so beautiful to hear and I mean that leads nicely onto something else I discovered about you is that you play the cello and you're a train jealous, is that right? I mean, that's incredible. I mean, how long has that taken? How many years has that been? So I grew up, everyone in my family plays instruments and my mom and dad grew up playing instruments

as well. So they kind of gave me the cello and said, this is your instrument. Everybody got a different one. So I started when I was really, really young and it was, it was awesome. I, I really enjoyed it for them for the most part growing up. I think I started to really resent it and my parents during my angsties, teen years when they would send me to band camp every summer for like eight weeks. But looking back on it, it was something that I think they did for, in my best interest. And I know that it was probably the best thing I could have been doing with my time. But yes, I'm so grateful for it. It's a great, it's a very, very cathartic

to play every once in a while and kind of escape. That's beautiful, that's so wonderful to hear. I mean, with your parents, and we've already talked about them twice, and they come up again and again, in so much of the important formative areas of your life as parents do, but in the early years of your career, your parents, as far as I believe, or know, they weren't,

they were kind of against you joining pageants. And I want to share, I want you to share your experience during your first pageant competition if you don't mind sharing that with our audience. Yeah, it was tough. I, well, I was studying communications and acting in college and I had this itch to just, I wasn't enjoying college. I didn't feel like I was where I wanted to be. I wanted to just do something that would impress myself,

I guess in a way. So I really wanted to work on my stage presence. I wanted to have an opportunity to just grow in any way. So I told my parents I wanted to do this pageant and you have to pay to get in. They wouldn't pay for anything. They wouldn't help me with any of my training. My mom refused to go to the misroad island preliminaries.

They just thought it was a big, I don't know how to say this without sounding horrible and offending people, but they just didn't think that it was the best use of my time. And they also didn't realize why I was pursuing cello as my hobby. I think that's really what got them. To them, it felt very vain that I would think that going entering this pageant would help me as much as maybe entering an orchestra or like trying to get into a symphony

for example. So they didn't understand it but they came to because they had to. Is your relationship with your parents always being like you ask for forgiveness not permission or did that evolve over time? How did you get that confidence as a young woman to just be like, well this is what I want to do. And I'm going to learn this. Like, what gave you that? I think a lot of people today, a lot of questions I get is a lot of insecurity where people are like,

well, my parents don't agree with it or my brother or my sister don't agree or I don't have support of my family. How were you able to do something that can be quite challenging as a young person? Oh, absolutely. And I think when you're working toward any goal, it's so important to preserve your sense of self and your confidence.

And I protected myself. I didn't tell anybody that I was viewing this. I did not tell a soul. Nobody knew. I was just working out, working on my public speaking. I didn't know any of this stuff. I grew up as a band geek. I didn't even know how to put on makeup. It wasn't really something that came supernatural, believe it or not. So I just

did the work and I didn't expect it to go anywhere. Yeah. And so it kind of took a form of its own, but it was never something that I sought out for. Yeah, no, absolutely. And I love hearing that because I think I align with you very closely on that, that when you're trying to do something that is different, chances are it's better to be quiet about it, because if you tell everyone, there's probably gonna be so many opinions and ideas and expectations that then you kind of,

you kind of get yourself out of it because you get so scared. So I really resonate with that. That makes a lot of sense. You mentioned to live your confidence there. I wonder what made you confident back then and what makes you confident today? Has your definition of confidence changed? Has being confident changed for you as you've had all these different experiences in life, of course, as you've grown as well. Well, I think everything comes down to just really working on your relationship with self. And I think that being confident is very hard. I think that you really have to work at it.

And that can mean different things to different people. For me, I get my confidence and I had my confidence back then as well from journaling and quiet moments with myself where I really feel like I'm tapping into source energy or God or whatever or the universe. Whatever you want to call it, but I but but I think that we don't really I personally believe we don't really get through life alone and you have to try to connect to whatever you think is out there that brought you here. But that's not what everybody agrees. But for me, I really find my peace and my understanding of where I'm supposed to be from those quiet moments with myself where I'm

meditating, praying, doing affirmations, giving thanks even. And is that something that's always been a part of your life? Or was that something that you discovered along the way? When did prayer, meditation, all those beautiful things? You mentioned that I know our audience also loves and our community loves. When did that get introduced to your life? Was that something that you had from your parents?

Or was it something you learned along the way? My mom is very Catholic. So I grew up in it, and I went to an all-girls Catholic school, so I think I always believed in the power of prayer, but I started transcendental meditation when I was 18, and that was around the time that I, all of a sudden, my ambitions felt possible,

and I wanted to get out of Rhode Island, I wanted to get out of school,. I wanted to get out of school. I wanted to do something bigger than I ever thought I could. And to me, that did manifest into this pageant, which looking back on it, I'm like, I wonder, I wonder, I don't know. I don't, I wonder how I got there. I still don't really completely understand,

but for me, yeah, it really is something that Transcendental meditation helps me a lot and continues to help me a lot. I felt very grounded and centered in decisions and it was a very formative experience, learning TM was a very formative experience for me. And I'm fascinated who introduced you to TM, like where did that come into being your life? Of course, TM has been around for many, many years. It's an incredible practice.

So just how did you even interact with it? How did you come across it from your background and your childhood, which was obviously different? It was different. My older sister, who is still the girl that paves the way in our family, she started meditating. And at the time, I'm almost having trouble

with her blood pressure. So my sister offered her to go to the same place that she went and my mom's blood pressure went down more than it had ever, lower than it had ever been. And then we all felt very centered and we would meditate together. It was a really lovely time. And the habit is obviously, it's a hard thing to keep up with. But I have, I'm so grateful to have the tools. And I would encourage anybody listening to just look into whatever form of quieting your mind you want. It doesn't have to be TM. It was just the one that I was lucky enough to have my sister introduce me to. Yeah, no, beautiful. And do you have a space? I know I recently saw the feature that you had in

architectural digest. I was wondering, is there a space in your home that you like to pray, that you like to meditate, that you like to do affirmations, or are you one of these people that can do it anywhere and everywhere? I really try to do it anywhere and everywhere, but I do, I do, yeah, I really, really try. I think that's part of mastering it,

which I, that sounds so intimidating and horrible. I don't want anybody to think that it's anything that you can't do in a specific spot, but I think the idea is having the opportunity to escape wherever you are, having that understanding is such an escape in itself, because you can be in a very stressful situation. It's like, hey, I need to go to the bathroom, and you can take three minutes and just Center yourself or you can be on a plane on your way to somewhere you don't really want to go or maybe you're anxious

Traveling I don't know or maybe you're in a room full of people that are just bothering you You can you can you can't quiet your mind and it's a tool that takes time to to definitely harness but It does get easier, I will say, which I'm sure you know all about. I know that you're a big meditator, is that a word? Yeah, no, definitely, but no, it's, you know what I find is just, I love sharing notes with fellow meditators

and people who have found their own way to something or to an idea or to a practice because I feel like we learn so much by hearing how different people are applying it. And I couldn't agree with you more. I think meditation and mindfulness and all these practices are tools like you rightly said that we need to use when we need them, you know, when we're stressed out, when we're going through pressure, it can't just be something that we do in one space in our

home. I want to relieve you with what we were speaking about earlier with confidence and I think you explained it really well. What would you say is one of the biggest insecurities that you have overcome or that you're working through? Because I think people may often look at someone like you and be like, oh, she's perfect, the life's perfect. She doesn't have insecurity.

She doesn't have, but as we all know, as natural humans, each and every single one of us has those. What's something that you think you've had an insecurity about that you've worked through, or broken through, or are trying to work through? I'm Eva Longoria. I'm Maite Gomez-Rajon. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast,

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The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg, now streaming on the iHot Radio app, Apple podcasts or whatever you get your podcasts. The therapy for Black Girls podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help Black women dig a little deeper into the most impactful relationships in our lives, those with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends, and most importantly ourselves.

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So there are so many things that I'm so insecure about. I think that I feel a lot of pressure with the term influencer, which I'm referred to quite often. And I feel as I have overcome that, some, for some people influencer can have a bad connotation. For me, it's actually empowering, but it's also a lot of pressure. And I think my insecurity could also

feel come from me thinking, okay, I have to be a certain way. I have to do a certain thing or else people are going to think that I'm not taking responsibilities seriously as I can. And there's the other side of me that's like, wait, why is everybody hate influencers? I don't know, because a lot of people do have a bad taste in their mouth about that term.

So yeah, that can be really challenging. That's something that I do work through and I have found ways to work through. I mean, just gratitude. Being so grateful for every opportunity I have, and I think I've always been the kind of person that if there's a door, I go, I walk through it and I see what happens from there. And I really do take my opportunities seriously and I'm very grateful for them. But it can be challenging when there are people say about you that might not necessarily

be true or you have a hard time understanding and remembering who you are because people are telling you that you're a certain way. I feel like that's a different insecurity, but I think that's more just having a public life. People will say things about me all the time and they'll say, even to the extent that they'll say I've dated people that I haven't even dated. And it can be challenging because you have to have the self-awareness to understand that that doesn't

necessarily matter and what people write about you doesn't have to define you. And it's also something that everybody who decides to have a public life has to go through. So to me, these are things that I work through. I don't want to get into the specifics of what people write, but... Yeah, no, I wanted to hear from you what you're experiencing, because I think from the outside in, it always looks like everyone

who has a platform has it all together. And as we all know, and as you beautifully explain there, that there are so many things that are uncomfortable, and difficult, and challenging, and some of it is self-created, and some of it is just coming from people who've never met you, or people who have never known you, or people who don't understand you. I guess, who do you think in the world, who are the relationships that you turn to for feeling understood, for being connected? Who are the

people in your life that you turn to for those open honest conversations? Oh, definitely my sisters. I have two sisters that I'm very, very close with. They really help me. We really help each other. I mean, the good thing about sisters is what I think, well, I genuinely think sometimes we're the only people that would be able to stand one another in a lot of ways. But we're also, I don't think that there's a love that I could experience as if, like my sisters are my friends and my sisters. That's just a combined amount of love that will always tie us together. And I lean on them to be honest with me when I'm being horrible. They will tell me and shoot it to me straight. I rely

on them to ground me and remind me of what's important. They are a sounding board when I need advice or I want to flush out an idea. And they're just, they mean so much to me and it's a very reciprocal relationship because we will all help one another. Definitely them. And you know what? They tell me that really hits home, get over yourself, nobody really cares. And that helps me, that helps me a lot, honestly, because it is true. At the end of the day, we're all here in life. In life, there's a journey and we're so blessed to be on it. And yeah, I really try not to sweat the small stuff.

That's why it kind of took me a minute to think of like, what's really ruining my day today? I try not to think about those things because I'm so, I can't believe how blessed my life is and I really try to lean into that. And I love hearing that because we all need to be reminded to not buy and tour and hype whether it's positive or negative and it's always wonderful to have family and people that you trust and love that can say that to you. But tell me about some of those rituals, how do you get into that mind space? I mean, what you just said is so powerful. Like, and people that you trust and love that can say that to you. But tell me about some of those rituals.

How do you get into that mind space? I mean, what you just said is so powerful. You know, you're like, I don't even let that, I try and avoid having that thought come into my mind. What are some of your daily rituals and practices? Could you walk us through those that have really become important for you? They don't have to be things that everyone has to do

or everything will, everyone will love, but what are those things that are important to you? Well, I personally think affirmations can be really, really, really transformative. One that I say a lot is I am safe and secure within myself. And that kind of reminds me to not seek outward validation, which my job is literally outward. Like what it's very hard not to seek that when you are feeling the pressure to show up in a certain way. And I also really believe in the power of prayer.

I'll get on my hands and knees and just ask God for an answer. And I get it in one way or the other. It's not always in the perfect timing, but that's personally something that really helps me. I love those. I love those. I love that affirmation. It's such a powerful, simple, and and beautiful one that we can all use. And I think no matter who we are, we all seek validation externally, you know, in any field of life, whether we're seeking it in our family or our workplace, or whether it's on social media and online, we're constantly looking for safety and security from outside of ourselves, but we all know that we can only really find it inside of ourselves and that's where it

truly lies. You've talked really openly, Olivia, about your journey with endometriosis, and you speak very openly about this and the end of find out. I was wondering whether you could share with us about the diagnosis process, the treatment journey, tips or advice you have for young people who may not be aware for the of what it is. Absolutely.

Well, endometriosis is basically when the uterine lining, every month a woman sheds her uterine lining. Endometriosis when the uterine lining grows outside of the uterus, so it could really be anywhere. It could be in your appendix, kidneys, liver, diaphragm. They've seen it everywhere. So it can be very, very painful. The real kicker about endo is that you can't diagnose it

through an ultrasound. It's a very hard thing to diagnose, so a lot of women find themselves in excruciating pain for their whole lives. Or, in my opinion, worse, they don't experience pain because their endo is in a place where there aren't a ton of nerves, and then they want to get pregnant, and they're unable to get pregnant because they have this disease has wreaked havoc on their eggs. So it can be really, really isolating

and I've decided to lend my platform to it to help people in that and have a voice for the women who feel like they weren't heard because the average diagnosis for Endo is about eight years because it's so hard to find. Like you have to go into surgery to find the endometrial tissue. It's not going to show up if you go in for your, you know, pap smear or ultrasound or, you know,

I think maybe sometimes they can see it in a CAT scan or sometimes you'll have a blood-filled cyst called an, called an chalpethis, which is like an endometrioma, and that can be attached to your ovaries, and maybe they can see it that way. But it's very rare. I mean, it's rare that that would happen, and a lot of women really suffer, and I just I wanted to lend a voice, and I wanted people to be able to know what to look out for, so that they're not, you know, in their late 30s,, late, early 40s, or even in their 60s saying, I could never get pregnant and

I never knew why. It's like, well, that could be why it gives you answers. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for sharing that, by the way, and I'm using your platform for that too, because the more and more I learn about things like this where there are, there are just so many challenges that so many people are going through that you don't even know exist, right? Or you may know they exist, but you don't really know someone who's gone through it.

And you never know someone in your family is going through it right now. They just haven't been able to tell you or be honest with you and share with you what they're struggling with or a friend, or a friend in your life as well who's going through it. You seem like a very open person. You have wonderful relationships with family where you can be vulnerable with them. What has been a quality that you look for in people that you surround yourself with? Is there something that you look for as an energy, as a person, as a quality in the people that you keep close in your life?

Ooh, I would have to say the first word that comes to mind is honesty. I think that part of coming from such a big family that is very close. We've always been very honest with each other. To the point where I think sometimes it's almost jarring for people around us because they just can't believe how how bold we are with the things we say to one another, but I was raised in that way. We really don't hold back. So I appreciate when others are honest to me. I'm always kind of blindsided when somebody said that they had a problem about something three months ago. I'm like, what three months ago over dinner? Like in my family, we just talk over each other, get it all out and then move on.

So I really value honesty. I mean, obviously in relationships too, you don't want any deceit. That's on a whole other level and kind of goes without saying. But I really admire people who are able to have an honest conversation and shoot it to you straight because that's something that helps both people. Yeah, and how do you feel receiving honesty as well?

Because I often feel like a lot of people like honesty and we say, I love honesty. And I think I know what you're gonna say which from the way you've shared it, but how have you prepared yourself to receive more honestly as well? Because I think a lot of us can say, hey, I really want people to be honest with me,

but when people are honest with us and it doesn't kind of align with what we want, it can actually be really uncomfortable. How have you prepared yourself to be someone who can accept and receive feedback that's transparent, honest and open? I know. Well, I think first you have to pay attention

to what is triggered. So are you feeling guilt? Are you feeling defensive? Are you feeling shame? And then work backwards from there. I personally feel like it takes a moment with yourself to really think about how is this making me feel? And why is it making me feel this way? and why even is that person feeling that way?

I think thinking of things in terms of another person's point of view is the most helpful way you can have empathy and understanding and and get better and also strengthen your relationship. So I think the key is not taking things to personally. This is a journey and it is called life and we're all going to mess up Everyone's gonna mess up. Everyone's gonna react instead of think when they're triggered And I think just giving yourself grace giving the other person grace and and and and apologizing when you have done something wrong is Is something that we have to offer one another? Absolutely. What a beautiful description. What have been some of... Olivia, I'm intrigued by you've played so many roles in your different careers that you've

taken on, different parts. Can you remember like a pivotal moment, whether it was a lesson, a mentor, even a failure, that kind of crafted who you are today? When you think about that and looking at how your career's played out, are there any specific moments that you think back to and think? That's where I learn something really powerful that has helped me shift how I think and how I work. Oh, yeah.

Yes. Oh my gosh. Well, didn't really want to go into this. No, I'm just kidding. It's fine. It's actually a great story and I'm so grateful for it and it was very, very informative for me. So when I first moved to LA, I was in a relationship

and that's why I moved here and I was completely thrown when that relationship ended because I had no sense of self. I had nowhere to live. I had no money. I was raised in a very, well, I don't know if this would even be considered traditional anywhere, but I was raised where, you know, I don't know. My dad was the breadwinner and my mom was the mom. And she also worked, but, you know, my dad felt, you know, it was just a different type of dynamic. So it was

the first time that I realized, I'm my breadwinner, I have to do this, I have to work really hard, I have to maintain a level of excellence so that I can support myself. And it was the most challenging moment in my career, but it was also the most rewarding because I had to make ends meet,

I didn't have a choice. I otherwise would have had to move back to Rhode Island and I don't know, work on my dad's restaurants probably, which that wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world. It's obviously not terrible to do that either. I actually love going into the restaurants, but I just felt like for the first time, I was really able to make myself proud.

And I was able to see the hard work actually come into it, come in a way that I was able to surprise myself. And I know that that doesn't mean everything and obviously it's not really, it's not really my place to say that I couldn't have been happy doing something else, but I think that going through that kind of gave me the confidence to really, okay, I can do this. And it also taught me a lot about having to be self-sufficient and the importance of being a woman in society. You think sometimes that your partner is going to support you for life, but it's just

not the way to live. And I think that's why I also have such an entrepreneurial sense to me now, because I think it's important to show other women that same message that you can do it, you should do it, and you deserve it. You owe it to yourself, for sure. I'm Dr. Romani, and I am back with season two of my podcast Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte, who was loved by the Tinder swindler.

The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself, I know how to identify the narcissists in your life. Each week, you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the iHeart

Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is what it sounds like inside the box card. I'm journalist and I'm Morton in my podcast, City of the Rails. I plung into the dark world of America's railroads, searching for my daughter Ruby, who ran off to hop train. I'm just like stuck on this train, not now where I'm going to end up, and I jump. Following my daughter, I found a secret city of unforgettable characters living outside society, off the grid, and on the edge.

I was in love with a lifestyle and the freedom this community. No one understands who we truly are. The Rails made me question everything I knew about motherhood, history, and the thing we call the American Dream. It's the thing we call the American Dream. It's the last vestige of American freedom. Everything about it is extreme. You're either going to die,

or you can have this incredible rebirth and really understand who you are. Come with me to find out what waits for us in the city of the rails. Listen to city of the rails on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Or, cityoftherails.com. I'm Mungesha Tickler and, to be honest, I don't believe in astrology, but from the moment

I was born, it's been a part of my life. In India, it's like smoking. You might not smoke, but you're going to get secondhand astrology. And lately, I've been wondering if the universe has been trying to tell me to stop running and pay attention, because maybe there is magic in the stars if you're willing to look for it. So I rounded up some friends and we dove in and let me tell you, it got weird fast. Tantric curses, major league baseball teams, cancelled marriages, K-pop!

But just when I thought I had a handle on this sweet and curious show about astrology, my whole world can crash down. Situation doesn't look good, there is risk to father. And my whole view on astrology, it changed. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, I think your ideas are going to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive and the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, that's, that's, I'm so glad you picked that example

because I think breakups can be so tough. Breakups, you know, like you said, they can be the most, they can be the most... They can be the most like confusing times where you feel so lost and stuck and everything feels like it's falling apart. And to be able to rebuild from that and to recognize that that was a sign for you to find yourself and to actually go inward. But I love that you chose that example because I think, like I was saying, that so many people go through breakups and that breaks them, right? That really breaks them. And you saw it as an opportunity to have a breakthrough as to who you are. What do you think? Was it just the sheer pain of like, I need to figure my life out now

that helped you get through that? Or were there other things? What was that that really helped you figure out that that was a moment you needed to go inward? I think it was a few things. I think for one thing, it was definitely a little bit of pride and it was a lot of regret. I was really upset with myself that I allowed my,

I allowed, I didn't put myself first because I was supporting my partner and then supporting my partner, I wasn't able to fulfill my dreams and then I was eventually like, I really didn't have any way to support myself. So I learned a lot in that sense but I think that in general, I would just tell somebody that you have to understand exactly where you fall in life. And if you're in a relationship, that doesn't mean that your life isn't your own. For me, the moments where I realized I have to pick myself up by the bootstraps is when I didn't know how I was going to be able to forward my rent or my meals.

Which was crazy because I keep from living this a-list life and then all of a sudden it was just not my life anymore. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was awesome. And now I make my younger sister pay a little bit of rent because I want her to really understand that once she has to make ends meet in B, B, one in B, two she can, which are, that's a very important lesson in life to learn. You, you, you can. And I want her to feel that. Even though sometimes she, she tells me that

that's messed up and just doesn't pay. But it's so, I think I'm making her a better person so it works for me. How old is she? She's 23 and I'm not kidding you. She just does. Sometimes she really just doesn't pay it. I love that you are outing her on the podcast. I love that now everyone's going to know she doesn't. Well, maybe this will all be her on the podcast. I love that now. Everyone's going to know she doesn't. Well, maybe this will help her to step up. I love it. Yeah, I live here. You mentioned there that that was where that entrepreneurial spirit, that desire came in. Tell us about some of

the best entrepreneurial lessons you've learned over the last few years of building, you know, so many different businesses, ideas, ventures. Tell us about some of the lessons you've learned on that journey. Well, I think the first thing I've learned is that it's businesses, ideas, ventures. Tell us about some of the lessons you've learned on that journey. Well, I think the first thing I've learned is that it's really, really, really, really hard. And you have to be willing to put in the work. I think that I've always been the type of person to go above and beyond in terms of what I...

In terms of the time that I lend to certain things, I'm very thorough. And I can't really, in good faith, always say no to an opportunity. And to some people, I've gotten before like, oh my gosh, she's so thirsty. That's another thing I'm a little insecure about. But at the same time, that is why I was able to get success.

I think, because I have a lot of people who are my contemporaries and I look at them and it's like we just didn't really give up. We didn't, we just kept going at every opportunity. I really try to approach with an open heart and an open mind and gratitude and just see what I can make of it. And I think that with that persistence, I was able to get the success and get to where I am now. Yeah, definitely.

I couldn't agree with you more. I think persistence and consistency are really underrated because they're not as cool or sexy or hot as ideas because it just means showing up, doing the same thing every day, even when you don't feel like it sometimes. I was speaking about that to someone recently, they were like, Jay, what do you think's the best skill in the world?

And I think the best skill in the world is to be able to do what you need to do, even when you don't feel like it. Because if you're waiting to feel like it all the time, you may never feel like it, or you may only feel like it once the time, you may never feel like it, or you may only feel like it once a week, but actually the more you do it, and the more you practice it,

you start actually falling in love with it more. And it starts with that desire of just that discipline and showing up. How have you crafted discipline in your life? I'm sure that so many areas of your life require discipline. Would you say that you're a disciplined person or would you say you're a bit more

of a free, spirit, spontaneous person? Oh, I am incredibly disciplined. It's actually one of those double-edged, sword type of situations because I'm a huge perfectionist. So that's what I mean by being super thorough. Like it takes me so long to do something because I just wanna make sure it's perfect.

And that is something that I work on because it's not the best quality. But I think that, like you said, just showing up day after day and just continuing to get back up when you feel down or when you're pushed down. I look at a lot of people that I admire and that's what they've done, that's what they're doing and that's why they are where they are. So I really try to practice that in my life, although it can be very challenging. And you sometimes think that the world does revolve around you and something bad happens, but it's really just, you know, this is not going to break me.

I am going to get back up, I'm going to keep going. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm moving somewhere. I love that. You know what I, this is one of the reasons why I love the podcast, because you can follow someone online, you can look at their posts and how they write and everything, and then you can get an opportunity to sit with someone, and I really see on purpose as an excuse for me

to sit down with people I find interesting. And I'm speaking to you today, and I'm just like, wow, I live here, it's just such a free, spirited, spontaneous, fun, loving individual. Like, you know, you just like, I love how you like answering the question and you switch direction. Then you crack up at yourself and then it will go somewhere else. And I'm like, it's just so real and so special. And I love that because I think we're all looking for that. We all want to be that energetic self.

Like how have you always been this way when you're being interviewed or you're having a conversation or as this come with time where now you just, I just feel such a, and when I say confidence, I don't mean in an arrogant way. I genuinely feel like you just, you carry yourself in this way, which is just really disarming and like there's no barriers on either side. Oh, well, thank you. I think that, well, let me tell you, my, my code name or my nickname within my family is Oblivia. And a lot of my friends can tell, to tell me that I have a way of blocking out things or circumstances or, you know, kind of playing the, well, what do you mean by that person instead of, you know, challenging people? And I think that that goes hand in hand with my kind of carefree spirit because I really,

really don't take myself too seriously. And for some people in my life that can be very frustrating, but it's definitely a coping mechanism of sorts. I just feel like life is more fun and more natural to me when I do have that more free spirited attitude. And it's something that I'm born with this I think. I've always kind of been that way. Do I work at it? Yes, by constantly reminding myself, well not constantly, but I just you know, nobody good news and bad news, nobody really cares. You know, I just don't take myself seriously and I think that doing something in the public eye, it can be crippling when you're constantly thinking about the way that you're going to be perceived

or the way that somebody's going to make you feel because the way that they feel about what you did. And I've had windows of that type of experience and it's just not the way that I want to live my life. It's not the best version of myself. It is crippling. It is debilitating. It's not great for your creativity. It's not great best version of myself. It is crippling, it is debilitating, it's not great for your creativity,

it's not great for your mental health and practicing that and living that way. It's probably, and you can tell me if it's a defense mechanism, but it works. I actually think it comes across wonderfully. I don't think it's a defense mechanism. I, from what I'm experiencing through this interview is, I'm just appreciating seeing someone who's just really comfortable in who they are.

And I, I, I love that. Like that, that's something that I find really, something that I admire in other people because I know how hard that is. And I know how challenging that can be when you are in the public eye. So I just wanted to know that I enjoy and appreciate it. And for whatever it's worth, but yes, your energy is coming across wonderfully and I think everyone's going to really appreciate that because I think that's what we're all striving for.

We're all striving to be ourselves in every scenario and not feel like we're trying to be what everyone else wants us to be Yeah Yeah, I hope that I don't sound like an arrogant Person oh not a no well It's not that I've gone while I'm just singing it's not it's really yeah Well, what am I trying to say here see now I'm thinking too much. Oh, no Yeah, now I made you overthink. This is why you should not talk to me.

This is why we should not do podcasts because now you're over thinking it. No, I was honestly saying it as a genuine observation and there is no arrogance in there at all. It's not arrogance, it's just freedom. And I think freedom is everyone's right. It's not arrogance. Well, thank you so much.

That means a lot. I'm gonna tell all of my friends and family that call me a Bolivia, that you said that. You do that, do that. Although I may start calling you a Bolivia, because it's funny and I like it. So. I'm very grateful.

It's been a year. Olivia, you've just been so generous with your time, with your energy, with your spirit. Just, I've enjoyed connecting with you so much today. As you know, we end every on purpose interview with the final five. So these questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.

So it can be one sentence, but that's it. So Olivia, these are your final five. The first question is, what is the worst advice you've ever received? Cry harder. What is the best advice you've ever received? Work hard and be a good person. My mom said that.

Sweet. What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? I cuddle with my dog and one of those people. And then, yeah. What's the last thing you do when you wake up in the morning? I cuddle with my dog and one of those people and then, yeah. What's the last thing you do before you get a bed? Blow out my candle. I can't forget that. And the fifth and final question, if you could make one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

Well, I think that smiling, okay, this is a one-sided thing. Everybody has to smile for at least an hour of their day. No, I just think if people smile more, they'd have better attitudes, they'd be happier, they'd make better decisions, we'd have a better life, and therefore every other law that was ever forced, or not forced, but, you know, voted upon would be a positive change for the world. Because smiling is proven to make you happier. Absolutely. That is a great law.

We have never had that. So that's why I love that answer. And I think you're spot on. I've smiled a lot during this interview. I think smiling is one of the most underrated things in the world. I know what you mean. You're not asking us to smile for an hour and hold it consistently.

You're just saying, overall, yeah, overall, try to day, smile more. Have you ever been in a really bad mood and then you are told to smile and it just completely lifts you from that moment? Absolutely, absolutely. So I think maybe we just raise all of our energy collectively as a species. Yeah, I love that answer.

Olivia, is there anything I haven't asked you that you want to share? Something that's on your heart or your mind that you really want to share with our community today? I suppose they thank you so much for having me and for the platform that you have and use to make us better people. Because I really do believe that. You're very inspiring and I'm very happy to be a part of it in some way. No, thank you, Olivia. Well, I'm humbled and I'm grateful.

And I know that after listening to this episode, everyone's gonna be smiling a lot, laughing a lot, and experiencing that joy that you shared with us today. So thank you so much. And I look forward to meeting you in person one day, and thank you to your whole team who's been wonderful to work with. So thank you so much. Oh, with. So thank you so much.

Of course, thank you so much. Yeah, thanks Olivia. Thank you everyone who's been listening and watching today. Make sure that you tag me and Olivia in any of the nuggets of wisdom, the insights that stayed with you. Anything that Olivia said that has resonated with you, makes you tag us on Instagram or Twitter

or on any platform you're using so that we can see what connected with you. Thank you, everyone. We'll see you next time and a big thank you to Olivia. Olivia, thank you so much. Thank you so much and thank you guys for listening. What if you could tell the whole truth about your life, including all those tender and visible things we don't usually talk about?

I'm Megan Devine. Host to the podcast, it's okay that you're not okay. Look everyone's at least a little bit not okay these days, and all those things we don't usually talk about, maybe we should. This season I'm joined by Stellar, Gas like Abromate, Rachel Cargol, and so many more. It's okay that you're not okay. New episodes each and every Monday, available on the iHeartRadio app,

or wherever you listen to podcasts. What do a flirtatious, gambling, double agent in World War II? An opera singer who burned down an honorary to kidnap her lover. And a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, haven't come in. and a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, have in common. They're all real women who were left out of your history books. You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast.

Check it out on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Our 20s often seen as this golden decade, our time to be keptfree, make mistakes, and figure out our lives. But what can psychology teach us about this time? I'm Jermis Beg, the host of the psychology of your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, and much more to explore the science behind our experiences. The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Listen now on the iHeart

Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.