On Purpose with Jay Shetty - President Joe Biden ON: How to Navigate the Path of Grief with Resilience and Hope & Ways to Make Challenging Decisions Under Pressure

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

In this very special episode, it is my great honor to be invited to the White House for a rare and very personal interview with President Joe Biden.  We will witness The President reflecting on his earliest childhood memories that have indelibly shaped his path. We pause and contemplate the significance of reaching out to those facing tough times, for every compassionate connection has the power to uplift and heal. The conversation goes deep as we delve into the profound realm of family, the cornerstone of existence, and discover how to cherish and prioritize those who matter most; and the art of decision-making and preparation, as you learn to navigate life's intricate choices with clarity and mindfulness.  In this interview, you'll learn: - The strength one can draw from having a supportive family - How to stand up for yourself and for others - How to help someone that is grieving  - How to balance the weight of decision-making - The impact of being present in the most challenging times In this episode we embrace the transformative power of love, compassion, and purposeful connection, as we unlock the treasures of our past and present.  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 03:17 What is your earliest childhood memory that has defined what you have become today? 10:55 When you see people who are going through some tough times, it does matter when you reach out 12:58 How do you let your children and the people that matter to you know that they are important people in your life? 17:35 Family is the most important asset in life. How do you prioritize yours? 21:17 How do you process decision-making? How do you prepare for it? 27:10 How do you assess a person’s motivation so we can get to the root of it? 29:59 The President on Final Five 39:10 The story behind the pictures that The President holds dear Episode Resources: President Joe Biden | Bio President Joe Biden | YouTube President Joe Biden | Instagram Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Hi, I'm Ellie Tempard. And I'm Scott Eckert. And we're here to talk to you about the things we love on our new podcast, Born to Love. I can tell you about something I love this week's got foam rollers. For my own mind, you're not talking pool noodle. Oh my gosh, no, thank you for clarifying. A new podcast from Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. J. Shetty's podcast on purpose is the number one health and wellness podcast.

The president participated in an interview with J. Shetty who you all may know to discuss the administration's effort to tackle the mental health crisis. The day will come when you open that closet door and you smell the fragrance of your dresses or you're going by that park where you walked with your child or your boy or your husband or the thing that reminds you that for the longest time we'll just bring a teardry. But eventually everyone's wild will bring a smile that they before bring the teardry eye. When that happens, you know you're gonna make it.

The best selling author in the post. The number one health and wellness podcast. I'm on purpose with Jay Shetty. I'm so grateful and honored that you're here with me right now. Thank you so much for all your love and all your support for on purpose. It's incredible what we've been creating together, what we've been building together. what we've been building together,

and I'm so excited to share some big news with you. This is an extremely special interview today, as I'm sitting down with the president of the United States, Joe Biden. This is only possible because of all your love and support for the podcast and making us a platform that the president and his team felt was right to talk about mental health. This conversation is dedicated to the person behind the podium. I always want to get to know the human behind the title, behind the position, behind what they do in the world, and spotlight and shine a light on mental health. We talk about so many of the things that he's gone through in his personal life.

I'm so grateful that I got to have this conversation that we're going to share with the world at large and make sure that mental health is a mainstream conversation because it's so integral to all of our lives. I hope you enjoy this conversation. Thank you for all your love and support. Means the world to me. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health and wellness podcast in the world thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to learn, listen and grow. Now, you know our mission here is to make the world happier, healthier, and more healed. And I believe that learning about people's stories of healing, of grief, of loss, of growth is a powerful way to do that. And today, I've been graciously invited to the White House, and I'm sitting with Mr. President, and I'm so grateful and honored to be here, and to have you on

our platform. And for you to choose our platform, to have this conversation, I couldn't be more honored. Thank you so much. Thank you. I'm glad you want to interview me. Absolutely. Well, let's dive straight in. The first question I'd like to ask you is, what is your earliest childhood memory that you believe defines who you are today and the person you've become? The earliest memory I have is there's two of them. One is there was a bully in the neighborhood, lived down the... an area called the plot, we lived up the hill. And I was out with my friends in the alley behind our house

and my mother was at the pantry looking out the tough guy in the neighborhood, smacked me as a couple years old in the morning My mother was at the pantry looking out, the tough guy I didn't ever read, smacked me as a couple years old in the morning, and I came in, hold on my face, and my grandfather was at the kitchen table, and sweats a matter of joy, and he said, that's a shame, I walked in, my mother said,

Joey, go back out there. So go back out there, and walk up to, wait until he walks up to you. And as soon as he does, smack him right in the nose. And the nose says, I'll give him 50 cents if you do it. And I said, why, mom? She said, you won't be able to walk in that alley again

if you don't. I was scared to death. I walked out, popped him in the nose, the blood he ran, and I thought, huh. It worked. But I think the lesson I learned the most though is I used to stutter badly. And I would talk like that, and then I'd catch my rhythm and be able to. And it was something that I thought was the worst curse could happen to me because everybody

makes fun of it. I had a similar experience with being bullied, so that resonates very strongly with me. I think everybody does. Yeah. I was the run of the litter. No, it really was. I was a little guy, and I was a relatively good-assly even when I was a kid, but I literally was the run of the litter. Well, for me, it was my weight. I was overweight growing up, and it was the color of my skin. I grew up in an area where I wasn't surrounded by a lot of Indian people. And so those were the two reasons. Except my mother didn't give me that advice. Sometimes I wish she did.

My mother did the opposite. She actually came into my school and spoke to the teachers, which was really embarrassing at that age and not helpful for me. No, I think maybe it is. I had a similar thing. When I was in, I went to Catholic grade school in high school. And you sit in the nose, they sat in alphabetical order. I was in the first row, by and for people down.

And reading class, everybody read a paragraph. I got to my paragraph, and I remember what it was, because I used to try to memorize it rather than have to look at the word when I was rereading it. And he was a gentle man and the teacher said, what's that Mr. Biden? He wanted to say gentlemen, but it's easier to not say a gentle man. I said, gentlemen, Mr. Babbiton, what is that? And I got up and walked out. And walked home, it was about two miles. My mother was sitting there tapping the table

when I walked in. She'd get in the car, went down the car, and walked in, went to the principal's office, sat me outside the door, the door was crying out as well as all those opaque glasses, glass windows, and it didn't go to the ceiling. Anyway, to make a long story short, she said, I it didn't go to the ceiling. Anyway, to make a long story short, she said,

I'd like to speak to the teacher, my mother said. And she said, Mr. Byset, I'd like to speak to the teacher. So the teacher walks in and looked at me like you're in trouble now, but walked in and sat down, or was a crack on the door. I'll never forget this. And my mother, Catherine Newgine, you're finnig in Biden. And she looked and I could say, what should you say to my son?

She said, did you say, but but Biden? So I'm just trying to make a point, Mrs. Biden. She said, if you ever do that again, I'll come back and rip that bonnet off your head. Do you understand me? Swear to God. Well, get up, walk down, go back to class, Joey. But you know, it's everybody has something that is tough, particularly when you're younger.

And it makes such a difference when somebody reaches out. I'm sure you had also had some experiences or someone say, come on. Like for example, there's more than a handful of young stutterers and not so young anymore that I still keep in touch with it. One young kid introduced me when I ran for president, took such courage because he talked like that and he practiced, he practiced, he practiced, but it's had a profound impact on his life.

Another young man when I was a vice president, he was like, I can tell You can tell a stutter if you're a stutter just by when you're, he was in line with his mom, was in Tennessee and I was doing a thing for Al Gore and she introduced her son and I could see him go. As a lips I said, I said, hey, I'm about to finish my speech. Why don't you come help me write it? And the mother looked at me and he looked at me and took him in. I showed him how I marked up my speeches so that I could get a little cadence with what

I did. Did you ever see the movie The King's Speech? Yes, of course. Well, the gentleman who had a copy of The King's Speech. He didn't sent me a copy. I don't know if I have my book with me, but one of these days I'll show you my speeches. I looked at it and I marked it up the same way. Every speech I mark up is the same way.

I think they might have it. See the slash marks I put on. Yes. Well, it's just to help me, but there were people who reached out to me too. Maybe that impediment was the best thing ever happened to me. It's incredible isn't it how a challenge that you're going through actually helps you become more compassionate and empathetic towards other people?

It's kind of human nature for most people. When you understand the pain someone's feeling, your first instinct is, look, we have an expression of the family from a time I was a kid. It's all about showing up to just be in there. I mean, I imagine the times when you were down because they're making fun of your Indian heritage and an all white population, that having someone come up and say,

hey, come on, you and me, let's do a bomb. Makes difference. Absolutely. Yeah, I'll never forget you've just reminded me. Ian Windess was his name. He was the toughest kid in school. And he had my back. That was that person that reached out to me.

So if anyone had a problem with me, they had a problem with him. He'd take care of it. He felt very safe. F had a problem with him. He'd take care of it and felt very safe. Felt very safe with Ian. Well, it really is all about reaching out, isn't it? I mean, for real. Think of all the young people today.

I think that there's more anxiety and loneliness today than there's been in a long, long time. You know my friend, I appointed him Adrol, the Viveek Murphy. He was telling me about the percentage of young people the day who are feeling lonely alone. And sometimes it's just touching, just showing up. I used to get my C-Sumbo, who should be sitting here instead of me, would always say, Dad, you know, I'm trying to make that call.

You know, I'd get in the plane and go home and because someone had a serious problem who wants to wife or daughter. And I said, Dad, you know, I'm time. When he passed away, hundreds of people told me how he called. He showed up. He was there.

And because of people who showed up for me too, it just really matters. Yeah, you've been through, you mentioned it there, you've been through so much tragic loss in your life. As you just mentioned there, you didn't run for presidency in 2016, shortly after the loss of your son, you've lost your first wife and daughter in a horrific accident.

I can't even begin to understand how someone has the courage to process that much loss and grief, let alone move forward in the way you have. It's truly admirable. How did you begin? I had an overwhelming advantage in the loss and that was I had a really close family that was there for example when my

wife and daughter were killed my first wife and my two boys were very badly injured a tractor-chill and brought side I Wasn't it was not the accident when I got home from the hospital My sister and husband already gave up their apartment and moved in. Help me raise my kid. My brother, we lived in a suburban area. It was more country than suburban.

And there was a little barn on a garage barn. My brother came and he turned the loft of the barn into an apartment for himself. They were there for me all the time. That was a gigantic difference. My best friend in my life and my sister and my brother. And so I had an enormous advantage. And I think that when you see people who are going through

something tough, it does matter if you reach out. I mean, it does matter. Like for example, you know, you have a, when you're a senator for all the years, I was in a small state, you know, so many people on. People would pass away, you'd show up at the wake of the funeral. No matter what was happening, I learned it early on. People would stop and just come and throw their arms around me. Because if they know, you know, the pain they feel, they get some solace in it. It's not always easy,

but it's, it just matters just to, just to reach out. Let people know you see them. How did you allow yourself to receive that help too? I feel like as you were mentioning earlier, with the loneliness and anxiety that exists, a lot of people either struggle to know what to say. I think we live in a society where people are like, what do I say if they've got to that? And the opposite end, what you just said, being able to be open enough to actually receive help requires a certain amount of courage and strength as well.

Well, I was raising a family for real, extended family, my grandparents as well. Well, I was raising a family for real, extended family, my grandparents as well, where my dad had an expression, families began in middle of the end. There was a rule the family growing up, not a joke. We didn't notice the time, but whenever you wanted to speak to your mother or father, I mean, they said, can we get a problem? No matter what

they're doing, they stopped. No matter what they were doing, they stopped and heard you, listen to you. And I did the same with my children, and they did the same with theirs, because it's a matter of them knowing that they are the most important thing in your life. If they got a problem, you're there to listen. I have seven grandkids, four or more, five and more enough to talk on the phone. You know, every day, I either text them or call them. And they've had a fact 20 campaign.

They were having a, I didn't realize they're having an interview. The four oldest grandchildren. And I said, and just at the time, and I said, they call me pop. Pop calls us every day or text us every day. And I call them a phone ringing. Well, I give my word. I had no idea they were in there.

But it's a look. I just think being there is important and it makes such a difference, I think, knowing that someone's going to be there for you, just to listen, just to hold you, just to hug you. Yeah. Our 20s are seen as this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, full in love, make mistakes, and decide what we want from our life. But what can psychology really teach us about this decade? I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the psychology of your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, friendships, and much more to explore the science and the psychology behind our experiences, incredible guests, fascinating topics, important science, and a bit of my own personal experience.

Audrey, I honestly have no idea what's going on with my life. Join me as we explore what our 20s are really all about. From the good, the bad, and the ugly, and listen along as we uncover how everything is psychology, including our 20s. The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Now streaming on the iHotRadio app app, Apple podcasts or whatever you get your podcasts. In the 1680s, a feisty, opera singer burned down a nunnery and stole away with her secret lover.

In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom, with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans. What are these stories having common? They're all about real women who were left out of your history books. If you're tired of missing out, check out the Womanica podcast, a daily women's history podcast highlighting women you may not have heard of but definitely should know about. I'm your host Jenny Kaplan and for me, diving into these stories is the best part of my

day. I learned something new about women from around the world and leafyling amazed, inspired, and sometimes shocked. Listen on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jay Shetty and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, everything that has happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it. Kobe Bryant, the results don't really matter. It's the figuring out that

matters. Kevin Haw. It's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to create change. Lumin's Hamilton. That's for me being taken that moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself, because I think for a long time I wasn't kind to myself. And many, many more. If you're attached to knowing, you don't have a capacity to learn. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw, real-life stories behind their journeys, many more. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw, real-life stories behind their journeys and the tools they used, the books they read and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours.

Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. I believe you're right. I believe we often over complicate things. We think we have to say the perfect thing. We have to have the solution. We have to be able to fix our thoughts. I agree. But it's just half of just showing up. Even people you don't know that well, but you've met. The fact you'd call and say, I'm thinking of you. I've learned this from my experience.

The day will come when you open that closet door and you smell the fragrance of your dresses or you're going by that park where you walked with your child or your wife or your husband, or the thing that reminds you, and for the longest time, we'll just bring a tear to your eye. But eventually, everyone's well, we'll bring a smile that it up before

brings a tear to your eye. When that happens, you know you're gonna make it. That's the moment you know, I make, that means you still don't cry. That means the pain still isn't real. Even years later, but you know you can make it. I think there's an advantage sometimes if you have deep face, whether you're, you know, a Catholic Protestant Hindu,

Jewish, Muslim, you know, whatever. My family, when I want to get an important message to me, they tape it on the mirror of the bathroom. I'm serious. Do you wake up in the morning? No, it's on the mirror. I guess I was down early on. Miss Naga, about 10 years ago, I was down. And my daughter Ashley taped on my, she's a social worker, taped on my mirror. Happiness is something to do, some of the love and some to look forward to. To your dad, you have all those things. Just remind you, you know. I think what you just said about the smile before the tear is probably one of the realest things I've ever heard.

I think we often are trying to create a world in which we only have smiles and we're, we put pressure on ourselves and the people around us to be forever happy. And what you just said there was really, really resonating with me, really hit me actually, the idea that you all cry, it will happen. But that tiny smile that you experience, even through a loss, even through grief, you're fortunate that you've got to have that experience that allowed you to find that smile at that time. And I feel like you've been through so many obstacles in your life, but I'd love to know what you see as the relationship between vulnerability and strength, especially as a leader, because I think leaders have an overarching

pressure to display strength in a certain way. I'll give you an example. I coach several CEOs and individuals, athletes and others. And one of the CEOs who leads a large organization called me a few months ago and we were working through some things together. And at one point I said to them, I said, it would be really wonderful for you to tell your teams that you lead what you've been going through and growing through. And they said, Jay, I don't know if I can tell them. I don't know if I can tell them.

And I said, why? And they said, well, because it will look like I'm weak. And I said to them, well, no, you being vulnerable and sharing your growth is the greatest strength. That's not a weakness. But that was you. Because so many leaders feel they have to portray a certain type of strength.

But even today, I can see there's a grace in the way you're sharing. Well, I rule that I thought that everybody my staff knew because I had, when I was a senator for a long time, at one point, I don't know how they measured it, but I had the same staff longer than anybody in the Senate at the time. For example, we're doing a very, very important Supreme Court hearing. I was chairman of the Judiciary Committee.

And we worked on it very hard and did all the research and, you know, anyway. And there was one young man with people who say it was in the valley, but because he's the guy who knew all the detail about certainty. And I found out that he was having trouble at home. And I said, I want you to go home. Don't come to the area. Said, I can't go home. Go home. And you know why?

Because I would go home. I have a thousand bosses, but only one. Me, knowing. And so I know when I had crises at home, raising the boys where I went home. I don't know how many years ago it was, but in this job and his vice president, another person was having some trouble at home.

And I found out that I said, go home. They said, no, no, I can't, I got it. I said, if you don't go home, I'm gonna fire you. Go home. Give you a relationship. It was a hell lot more important than whatever you're doing for me. So that's a rule we have, not a joke,

absolutely not a, and you never have to tell me why. All you gotta say is, I'm not gonna be in. I take what you're worried if it turns out your plan gays to me, I'll learn, but I know you too well. Take the time, because you're not coming any better than your relationship. And that's a little bit what you were just talking about. And I think you have to ask my staff, I don't know, but I think they, as long as they know, that's more important, more important than doing whatever

specific thing you're doing at that moment for me. How do you apply that rule when it feels like what they are working on this specific moment seems obviously to be the most important thing in the world? How do you... Well, because it's only one advantage you get older. You've had a lot of experience and you can apply a little bit of wisdom. It's really critical. And by the way, there's a selfie-sax back to it

because when you have a problem with someone you love or some problem, you gotta deal with it. And you can't even perform as well. Exactly right. Yeah, absolutely. You've, every day for years, had to make difficult and stressful decisions, high stakes, hugely impactful on so many people.

When you're making decisions, do you follow your head, your heart, your gut? How do you think about decision-making? I don't know how to separate the three. Many times my heart brings me to the problem. And my gut tells me what I think I want to do. But my head, meaning the research that back sometimes says that's the wrong answer. I think you're driven by a value set. You know what you value. You know what you think is important in life. You know what you think is consequential. And I think people who know what they value, that mean they're

better at work. But if you follow your value set, to me, they're kind of basic things. My dad used to have an expression for real. He said, Joey, everyone's entitled to be treated with dignity. for real. It's a joy. Everyone's entitled to be treated with dignity. Everybody. Dignity was his word, dignity. And what I find myself looking through the prison, for example, I was at an event, the other day where I was talking and I were talking about a problem.

A mom was having, providing for the health and needs of a child, of actually a teenager. I said, all I can think of when hearing about not being able to forward with a treatment was how she's deprived of her dignity. Imagine being a parent and you can't do anything about it because you don't have the financial worry that's where it was all because you don't have the connection. You don't know the financial world that's where it was all. Because you don't have the connection.

You don't know where to go. It's a little bit like, you know, I think the most dangerous, the most hated word, English language, and any other language translated as cancer. You have cancer. It's just straxfering everybody. Well, it's one thing to get an analysis by a great doctor. You still need someone to guide you through.

It's complicated. But we're finding significant breakthroughs in cancer. But you need someone to sort of lead you through who knows about it. I think it's the same way with about any problem people have. If there's a way, a lot of people know there's an avenue, there's a way through. You know there's an avenue, there's a way through. You know, I used to have a friend named Bob Gold who died of a heart attack and

I used to say, Bob, do you understand me? It said, Joe, and I don't understand you. I overstand you. But you got to know how to know. And that's why we can be so of little things. It can be of enormous value. It's like, you're walking across an intersection that let me do that anymore, but you walk across intersection and there's an elderly man or woman knowing they're waiting to see if they have enough time. Just grabbing their hand and walking across.

It's a little tiny thing, but the anxiety it relieves. Yeah, no, that resonates. The idea of the more we're a part of the solution, the less the problem feels overwhelming. I think so. I have to admit, when you've been through something, that's been particularly difficult. Helping someone going through it, again, forces you to relive your experience.

Like, for example, the people I admire when we have functions where we're trying to make a point of how we can help someone with healthcare, or whatever it is. The people who have been through it to show up and supported. I always compliment them because it's like it happened yesterday when you start to focus on it. It's hard. We underestimate what we can do. Not I'm not about to be in president. I mean, just what we can do in terms of What we can do in terms of dealing with people, I try to understand what is motivating the other person when I'm doing things internationally or when personally. Because if you can understand what motivates them, there's a shot, even with the bad guys, you can break through and get something done. There's a way to expose the meanness

without causing direct conflict. For example, I remember I went to a Catholic grade school and we didn't often get invited to the Cattillion, which was in the local school down the street at Mount Pleasant School. And so I got invited and I was gonna go as all excited about going. I think it was ninth grade, maybe it was eighth grade,

little dance. And there was a guy who was a good athlete. I was a relatively good athlete. He was a good athlete from the school, the other school, big guy. Became friends, but so I'm getting dressed and I didn't have a shirt to wear. So my mother got my uncle's shirt

who was a smaller man than my dad. And French cuffs enrolled up the cuff. So there's who look like a fit. And I couldn't find my dad's cuff length. So my mom went and got a nut in a bowl. I wonder why she was down stairs in the laundry and I'm looking for it and put them up and I said, Mom, I can't do this. They'll make fun of me. I'll be embarrassed.

Say, anybody comes up and says, you look at them and say, and here's the stormer to say, this guy Frank came up to me and said, Hey, look a Biden. Look what he's got here. Hey. And I looked at him and said, You don't have a pair of these? And he said, well, yeah, yeah, I got a pair. But I'm serious. How do you assess people's motivations? Like you were just saying there that when you can understand someone's motivation, you can almost disarm them without exposing them, which is what you just gave that example of now.

How do we do that so that we go to the root of it? I think often we get so caught up in what we think someone's thinking or what we think someone's saying, but actually going to the heart of it and the root of it. You know, it's hard to explain. I get credit for these days for sort of holding the international community together. I try to understand what the circumstance the other world leader is facing. And see if there's a way what I would

need to be done as a way through that he doesn't or she doesn't have to make a great sacrifice to do what she's doing, but help make the case why they're helping others. But there's ways to do that. And as doesn't require the person, they have a fundamental difference with you on the subject. But if they're doing something because they don't have the political bandwidth to be able to do it at home, you can provide it.

I will say to the leader sometimes, well why don't you let me criticize you for this or thank you for that or more. And most of the time, now you don't do it off the top of your head, you gotta know some of these people. They'll go, okay. Or why don't you criticize me?

Why don't you criticize me for mind not doing something and then I'll respond and say, okay, and then you can do what you want to do. It's just basic human nature, but I think trying to figure out what leeway a person has, I don't expect everybody to, that I'm dealing with, to appear in the second editions of Profiles in Courage. No, I mean, it's hard. But there's ways you can work, not always, but you can work through things where you can allow the other person

to save face and still get to where you wanna go. Yes. And sometimes it works with, you're working with two people. Yes. To get that done. Yeah. But it's just trying to figure out what is really, what impediments are in their way,

to keep them from being able to do what you know, you feel they're good, you know they know they should do. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season, and yet we're constantly discovering new secrets. The depths of them, the variety of them, continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share 10 incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets. When I realized this is not just happening to me, this is who and what I am. I needed her to help me. Something was gnawing at me that I couldn't put my finger on that I just felt somehow that there was a piece missing. Why not restart? Look at all the things that were going wrong.

I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Being human is not easy. This is not just this unique thing that is happening to me. I'm Megan Devine, host of It's OK, that you're not OK. This season on the show, I'm joined by leading actors and musicians and activists and authors all discussing their often invisible losses

and what they've learned about being seen and supported in difficult times. I used to think that I had to make myself suffer in order to serve, right, to be breathless all the time. From the everyday grief that we don't call grief to losses that rearrange the world, everybody is at least a little bit not okay these days. And all those things we don't usually talk about, well maybe we should, together. This has been an experience that is so beautiful. Thank you for inviting me into what feels like kind of a sacred space here. It's okay that you're not okay. New episodes each and every Monday available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. That's a great

perspective. I'm so happy you shared that because so many of us have fixated on what we want out of something or where we want to get to or what our challenges are. But Mr. President, I'm so grateful for your graciousness and kindness in giving me this time today. We end every on purpose interview with a final five. Oh. And these final five questions, questions we ask every guest. And there are some great ones in here for you. So the first question I'm going to ask you is, what is the best advice you've ever received

and what's the worst advice you've ever received? I guess the best advice I've ever received is show up. Just show up, be there, and get up. My mother used to say, Joey, get up, never bow, never bend, never get up, just get up. And but showing up is just, that's a big part. And I guess the worst advice I've ever received was holding a grudge. Because lots of times when people do something that is really not good, it's because they were fearful

and they didn't, not fearful of you, but there are circumstance. And they get you nowhere. And which means people doubt what I'm really Irish. And the joke inside was my really Irish, but all getting aside, remembering is important, but holding a grudge is not helpful. Very true. First time for both of those answers.

I love it. Okay. Second question. A lot of Americans that are seeking therapy as a form of support. Where does the President seek support and guidance in your own challenges in journey? Well, my best friend is my wife, a woman who has probably had more to do with my success than anyone of my sister Valerie, and my brother Jim. And I think that's the place where I go most, but also I have a great advantage over the

years. I've grown to have some great, great relationships with people of work with and or one of my staff. And I think most of my staff would tell you the senior staff is I don't treat them like they're work for me. I treat them which they are. They know reason I hire them. I treat them, which they are. They know, they're usually not higher than them. I want them to know more than I know.

And there's some things that I seek advice from a religious perspective, but that's really personal. Yeah, beautiful. OK, third question. I believe it's been said that you told your first wife when you met her that you wanted to be, or one day you would be the president of the United States. Is that true?

No, it's not true. I love it. I read all this, well, I did tell her. Yeah. And the same with, no man deserves one great love let alone two, for real. The two women that I married one passed away were women I knew when I went out with them the first time.

I wanted to marry them. My first wife, I told her when I met her, we went to, I went to $89 tax return. I went with five guys down to Florida. And I don't drink, so I was bored with all. So I went to, with three I went to Nassau. And for you to apply for 25 bucks round trip. And I met my deceased wife and I told her one. When I hung out with her for four days down there on the beach and that I was going to marry her.

She looked at me and said, I think so. And I started commuting every weekend when I was a senior in college. That's how I ended up in Syracuse. She was there. And then my present wife was, it was a blind date that my brother set up for us. And I knew what I saw. I was on that 10-mo sales of a bachelor's list

for five years. And it's not a fun thing. Because there were a lot of them that don't get me wrong. A lot of nice people, but I was kind of giving up on, thinking I could have a sit. And I got to blind date. I'm not afraid my brother said, you're a Liker. She doesn't like politics.

I'm glad to ask that question. Question number four, this is very important to social media. So the question is, there are so many shows today based on the presidency, the White House, mirroring it, shows on TV, streaming platforms. Which one is the most accurate, and which one is the least accurate? Mission impossible.

The most at least. Most, look, I, one of the problems I have is I don't, and I shouldn't. I don't watch much television. No, and it's not because I'm above it or anything like that. It says that, for example, for 36 years after the accident occurred, and I commuted every day, 300 miles a day. And the press actually had one.

I got to know all the conductors so well. They became friends. And one day, as Vice President, I was going home on the train, which the secret surf done light, because there's so many opportunities to interrupt the train. And this particular guy, Malkin Embarrassment, says, name company, you grab him and she gets a Joey baby. I thought they're going to shoot him. Anyway, I said, no, no, he said, I just read in the paper, you travel a million, 100,000 miles on Air Force Plains because you have less time in the miles of travel.

And he said, big deal. He said, Joey, we had every time at dinner. He said, you know what? We figured out how many miles you travel an amp check. I said, no. He said, a million, 200,000 miles, 119 days a year, 300 days, 300 miles, round trip, 36 years, plus my point was I was in a training lot.

And so when I get home, there wasn't much to watch. I mean, not it was to watch, but I'd always make sure, I think, and I think, you know, every all your guests know this, that children need to know that they're the most important thing in your life. So even if I got home late, I'd climb in bed or my two boys at the time and just even if they're asleep and get up in the morning and I wasn't like Ozzie and Harriet, I wasn't fixing their breakfast, but I'd be there and have breakfast with them, they take off for school, I take off for the train. So I've been back and forth so much. I haven't,

I just haven't watched many programs. And by the way, there's a lot of good stuff. I'm sure. I mean, everyone's watching it turn on. And by the way, they got a great advantage here. You got a movie theater. Yeah. And yeah, and they tell me I get this list, what movies are in. And we have the, I get this list where movies are in and we have the new one that's the... Oppenheimer, yeah. I haven't seen it yet. I haven't even. There are the movies I see these days. I get to see them at night once more. Okay, very nice.

Amazing. All right. Fifth and final question. We ask this question to every guest who's ever been on the show, but it truly is unique asking you this question. If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be? I don't think it's a matter of being able to have any one law that could change people's attitudes.

I think I'm optimistic. I think we have, we're in the cusp, we're in the time of real change and we're in an inflection point in moral history. Whether I'm present or not, things are going to change drastically. And you see it happening all around the world. We have an enormous opportunity, but the thing I want to, I couldn't want to change is American attitude that we can do anything. We can do anything. There's nothing we've ever said our mind who we've not been able to do we've done together.

For real. And so I laid out four things that I thought were critically important in my study. You know, one was to make a fundamental change in cancer treatment. We can cure that, and that's why I put another $6 billion. I mean, pick the impossible thing. I have Caroline Kennedy gave me a copy of President Kennedy's part of President Kennedy's speech when about going to the moon. He said, because we refuse to postpone, we have to refuse to postpone anymore. There's so much we can do. And I mean it. I believe it with every fiber in my bait. I've been doing this a long time,

and I've never been more optimistic about our chances than now. That's why when I ran, I said I ran for three reasons. One to restore the soul of America, sense of decency, just the way we talked to one another. Secondly, to build this country from the middle out and the bottom up, the wealthies still do very well. But everybody has a shot. And thirdly, the United country.

And I think we can do it. I really genuinely do. And then again, as my offer referred to, I'm a cock-eyed optimist, but I really believe it. Mr. President, thank you so much for the honor. So grateful. I have two tiny requests for you. I'd love for you if you don't mind to walk me through

what's here because I saw these beautiful pictures when I walked in and I thought they looked really special and I'd love for you to share them. This one, my dad was a real gentleman, and a well-read man never got a chance to go to college. And he always said, Joey, never explain, never complain. And so we were having my fourth re-election effort as a senator in the late 90s. And my dad was over at our house to meet there with me.

And I was standing on this back porch over looking at this pond. I built a smaller home when the home we had, when everybody moved out. But it sits on a pond, a tentator pond. And I was saying, my deceased wife, she lived in Lake Skinny Atlas, and the figure legs beautiful. She, I said, you know, I wish nearly could have seen this.

And my dad thought I was ready to feel sorry for myself. So he came, he said, I'll be back. And he took off and he went up to a local hallmark store. And came back with this cartoon. This is his philosophy of life. It's Hagar of the Horrible, Lightening Strikes, his boats going down. He's looking up to God and having to say, why me?

The next frame of voice never comes by, why not? My dad always say, what makes you so special? You don't have these problems. I'll put it down here. The other ones, there's a bunch there, but one of my favorite ones is of that one, my son, Bo. One of my favorite ones is that one of my son, Bo. This is when he came home from being a rack for a year with his unit. And this is his son, little hunter.

Got on his shoulders and wouldn't get off his shoulders. Just would not, I mean, for hours was on his shoulders. The others are my mom and dad, that's my daughter and the love of my life, the life of my love. Anyway, there's a lot up there. I'm probably born that a lot of years. Not at all, not at all. I thought it was wonderful to see them when I came in.

So thank you. Well, like I said, my dad really was one of these guys. And it was about, and so was my mother's side of the family. That family, my dad would say, is beginning the middle of the end. And I believe it is. I mean, I know what you're trying to do is all those folks out there that are lonely,

all those folks out there that are feeling uneasy, all those folks out there that aren't sure. I don't know, I just sometimes just reach it out. It makes a difference. Thank you, Mr. President. Thank you. Thank you so much. You're doing good work for people.

I really mean it. Thank you. That means the world coming from you. And I look forward to many more conversations. Thank you. Thank you. One, two, three. Three.

Three. OK. Amazing. Okay, I'm easy. Okay. I'm easy. Okay. Okay. I'm easy. Okay. Okay. I'm easy.

Okay. Okay. I'm easy. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. This is Leverand Cox. I'm an actress, producer, and host of the Leverand Cox Show. Do you like your tea with lemon or honey? History-making Broadway performer, Alex Newell.

When asking for Holy Ghost shows up, that's my ministry, and I know that well about me. That's the tea, honey. Whoever it is, you can bet we get into it. My guest and I, we go there every single time. I can't help it. Listen to the Leverand Cox Show on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcast.