On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Rick Rubin ON: Why Unconventional Methods Lead to Success & The Secret to Genuinely Love What You Do

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

Today, I sit down with Rick Rubin to talk about living a life of creativity. Rick shares his insights on why curiosity is a powerful tool when it comes to achieving dreams and finding success, the inf...luence our attitude has towards the things that we do and the people we surround ourselves with, and how to stay focused on your goals and not get distracted by negativity and lack of support.   Rick Rubin is an influential music producer and record executive known for his work with artists across various genres. Co-founding Def Jam Recordings, he played a vital role in shaping hip-hop music and produced albums for iconic acts such as LL Cool J and the Beastie Boys. Rubin's production style combines rock and hip-hop elements, and he has collaborated with diverse artists like Johnny Cash, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Kanye West. His minimalist approach and emphasis on capturing raw performances have earned him numerous accolades and established him as a highly sought-after producer in the industry. You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon. What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:22 At the core of it, who do you see yourself? Who are you trying to create?  02:42 Why are we addicted to becoming accepted?  07:38 How did curiosity develop for you and how did it start? 10:41 Habit is something you get better at the more you practice 11:43 Some are fearless in life, and there are some who are fearless when it comes to art 13:11 Commitments in life differ from the commitments you make in art 15:24 How does our attitude change things around us? 17:59 We all have a creative decision and it what makes a difference in our daily activities 19:49 What have been the biggest blocks in creativity? 24:05 Is creativity stifled and why does it matter? 27:19 We all have a story and we all can learn from each other 30:19 There are several ways to sing your life song 32:29 Why can't I be creative? What can I do to get better? 34:36 How do you stay confident in a competitive space and share your work openly? 38:21 How do famous people deal with criticism and stay unaffected? 43:30 How can you differentiate procrastination from distraction? 50:24 How do you submerge yourself in your craft? 52:35 Listening to monks can significantly change your life 56:36 Understanding the power of meditation and how to practice it 59:29 What is the biggest challenge in your life and what did you do about it? 01:05:31 What is the best way to inspire someone when most people don’t like being told what to do? 01:07:45 What is your purpose in life? 01:10:06 Why do we often feel unworthy of happiness and love? 01:11:21 How does first success feel? Did it make you happy? 01:15:50 What’s the best moment you’ve celebrated over success? 01:20:56 This is how you can preserve a good dream 01:24:56 We can’t predict an outcome so choose to do what’s interesting for you 01:29:41 When you receive an advice, listen to your own intuition 01:32:53 Rick on Final Five Episode Resources Rick Rubin | Twitter Rick Rubin | Instagram Tetragrammaton with Rick Rubin The Creative Act: A Way of Being Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The One You Feed explores how to build a fulfilling life admits the challenges we face. We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear through guidance on emotional resilience, transformational habits, and personal growth. I'm your host, Eric Zimmer, and I speak with experts ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers offering powerful lessons to apply daily. Create the life you want now. Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War
Starting point is 00:00:35 II, an opera singer who burned down an honorary to kidnap her lover? And a pirate queen who walked free with all of her spoils, haven't comment. They're all real women who were left out of your history books. You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast. Check it out on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Nuneum, I'm a journalist, a wanderer, and a bit of a bond-vivant, but mostly a human just trying to figure out what it's all about.
Starting point is 00:01:11 And not lost is my new podcast about all those things. It's a travel show where each week I go with a friend to a new place and to really understand it, I try to get invited to a local's house for dinner, where kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party, it doesn't always work out. Ooh, I have to get back to you. Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. How do you feel you have the pneumonia out in the country? And I remember saying, I've never been more unhappy in my life.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Let's say you spend 20 years of your life working towards a goal that's going to solve everything and nothing changes. That's when you get hopeless. The best selling author and host. The number one health and wellness podcast. I'm on purpose with Jay Shetty. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow.
Starting point is 00:02:05 I'm so grateful that together we're trying to make the world a happier, healthier, and more healed place. My goal in life with this show is to try and introduce you to people that I find have fascinating insights, have counterintuitive points of view, are able to open our minds, help us imagine and think differently. And today's guest is someone that our teams have been in touch for around maybe three years at this point. And I was waiting for this opportunity to sit with him
Starting point is 00:02:35 in his presence in person. And so I feel really grateful to have this opportunity. I'm speaking about none other than nine-time Grammy-winning producer named one of the hundred most influential people in the world by time, and the most successful producer in any genre by Rolling Stone. Rick Rubin of course has collaborated with artists from Tom Petty to Adele, Johnny Cash to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Beastie Boys to Slayer, Kanye West to the Strokes, and System
Starting point is 00:03:02 of a Down to Jay Z. Rick Rubin, welcome to on purpose. Thank you for being here, Rick. Thank you for having me, sir. Just from the moment you walked in, I felt a sense of synergy, which was really beautiful to experience as we were just walking over here. And I would never start an interview with this question. Today we're obviously talking about your new book, which by the way,
Starting point is 00:03:26 needs no introduction in of itself. It's been performing incredibly well. It's been on the New York Times bestseller list for months now. The creative act, a way of being, if you don't already have this book, I highly recommend it, whether you think you're a creative or not. This is a book that's going to help you tap inward into helping you access a part of yourself that you may not even know exists
Starting point is 00:03:49 or refine and deepen a part that does exist. So, highly recommend the creative act that we're talking about today. Rick, I wouldn't usually start with this question, but I feel like you're someone that, when I was preparing for this interview today, this was the question that stood out to me the most. And so I had to ask it to you,
Starting point is 00:04:04 you start this book by saying, we're all creators, right? We're all creators. And I'm intrigued to know, who have you created? Like, who are you? Like, at the core of it, how do you see yourself? I think we live in a world today where people create who we are to us in our own minds. Our families and friends create us. Our
Starting point is 00:04:25 the media we consume creates us. And I think everyone will agree that we have so many influences. But who's the you you're trying to create who have tried to create over the last few decades? I don't know if trying would be the word I would use. I would say, I'm true to whoever's inside there. I don't look at the outside very much. I look inward and try to focus on what do I feel? What am I seeing in the hopes that by sharing what's going on in me, it maybe resonates with someone else. I can't predict what someone else would like. And I don't predict what someone else would like. And I don't think anybody can.
Starting point is 00:05:06 So if I'm true authentically true to myself, that's the best chance of someone else liking something. So I would say tuning into myself and being honest with myself and anything I can do to get closer to understanding what I like and why I like it and what I don't like and why I don't like it is helpful in the work that I do. Yeah, I love that idea of almost like a personal check-in or a sense check and it's interesting we do it after we eat food. You know whether you like the restaurant or you didn't like the restaurant or it's automatic
Starting point is 00:05:44 with food. It's funny because I've been asked about how or you didn't like a restaurant or. It's automatic. It's automatic. It's funny because I've been asked about like how can you be so confident in your opinion? It's like if you taste food, how confident can you be if you like it or you don't like it? It's so clear. It's so face value. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:57 And I think we tend to overthink and put layers on top of something as simple as it tastes really good. I like it. Or you know what, this one's not for me. Yeah, absolutely. It's as simple as that. Absolutely. And why do you think it is, though, that over the years we've all as humans, from your perspective, your opinion, I'd be fascinated to know you've worked with so many people who also make things that are fascinating to billions of people on the planet, right? There's, we all experience what it feels like
Starting point is 00:06:26 to get five, 10 people to laugh at a joke or listen to something we do, but when you're creating at that scale, what in your opinion has made us so addicted to wanting to become someone that people like and often go against who we truly are. You just said you like to sense that authenticity and feel how you feel.
Starting point is 00:06:48 A lot of people are scared of that. A lot of people would rather mold and become malleable and evolve and become who, people want them to be. Why do you think that is? People like to be accepted. People want to be accepted. And I'm suggesting in the book
Starting point is 00:07:03 that the best way to be accepted is to be yourself. It's not, it's not to change yourself to what someone else thinks. First of all, you don't really know what someone else thinks. And if you're not genuine to yourself, there's, there's like nothing, nothing is there. It's just a projection or a mask. It's not true. It's just a projection or a mask. It's not true. And there's something about authenticity. Like I get to work with artists Some of whom have very different ways of seeing the world than me and I support their vision a million percent Even though whatever they're talking about maybe I may be diametrically opposed to what they're talking about But I support them a million percent and anything I can do to support them getting their message across the clearest they can. I support that. The only way we can
Starting point is 00:07:53 learn anything is through the reality of seeing what's around us and learning there are these different points of view around us. If we're all thinking the same thing, it's boring. Why would we make anything if everyone thinks the same thing? What makes us interesting are the differences. And even the imperfections, the imperfections are what makes us humans, what makes us what we are. It's like, there's so much talk today about chat GPT and AI.
Starting point is 00:08:24 It's like,'s so much talk today about chat GPT and AI. It's like it's a different thing than a human sharing their own experience Warts and all That's what we love we love you know you you may hear a song about Someone who's has terrible heartbreak and you may not be experiencing terrible heartbreak. But hearing them, honestly, talk about a human experience, even one that we're not having can make us cry, can make us resonate with them, can give us a better understanding of the world.
Starting point is 00:08:58 Absolutely. And we're not all everything. You know, we're all only us, each of us is ourselves. Yeah. One thing when I was reading your book, it reminded me of something else I read a while ago. And what I read said that the Japanese say we have three faces, one face that we show the entire world. The second face is the face that we only show our family and friends. And the third face, they say, we show no one at all, maybe not even ourselves sometimes. We don't even...
Starting point is 00:09:29 But what you're saying is almost like when we tap into that essence and become that self, that's where all this beauty and imagination and creativity stems from. Yeah, it's the most... It seems to be the most interesting. And the most particular, you know, in a sea of information, the more yours is personal, the more it's not like hers or his or theirs. It's yours. And for all of us, we get more of a sense of reality.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Even if our views are different than everyone else's, it still helps us understand this is this place that we're in where there are these different views. Interesting. When I speak to someone who has a different view on anything, I always want to learn more. How did you get there? What can I learn from you? You know, I never assume that I know anything. Were you always like that or whether experience is in your childhood that informed that?
Starting point is 00:10:30 Because I feel like there are a lot of people more generally speaking and I don't like the stereotype. But just as an overall sense, a lot of the reasons why we struggle with doing what you just said is defending our viewpoint gives us a sense of safety and security. And we feel vulnerable if someone else's viewpoint that seems opposite to us could be true. So that's one reason. The second is we generally struggle as humans to entertain two opposing ideas.
Starting point is 00:11:01 We struggle to understand the nuance that someone can be kind, but also be assertive, or someone can be complex yet really compassionate. Like, there can be these paradoxes that exist. I was reading recently about how black and white TVs are not really black and white. They're shades of gray. There is no black and white pixel. It's really, really minute shades of shades of gray that are changing. So will you always that way, always that curious? Did that start somewhere? Does that come from parent? Where did that come for you? I'm intrigued. I would say I've always been open-minded. Early in my career, I probably had more of a view of, I know how to do it. Like, I know my way and my way was fine.
Starting point is 00:11:45 But over the years, I've realized that my way isn't necessarily the best way, it's just one way. And there are many other ways that are great. I was a vegan for 22 years and I'm mainly carnivore. When you've really committed to a vegan lifestyle, it's very difficult to break out of it. And for about a year, I was a, I believed that eating meat was the healthiest thing I could do, but I couldn't do it because I was
Starting point is 00:12:12 vegan. I was committed to being a vegan. So it's a perfect example because it was something I was dedicated to for a long period of time. I had new information. It was hard to change. It was hard to break out of it. But as we get new information, we have to evolve. How can we, how can we live in an old belief? If you believe the same thing that you believe 20 years ago about everything, I don't know that you're living. And so we've, we've got to have that openness and the ability to... Curiosity. A curiosity about what's it like if my view is my view of the world is wrong. What does someone else know? What can I learn from? Not to disregard what someone else thinks.
Starting point is 00:12:54 Like, why do they think that? What... I know there's something I can learn from someone who sees it differently than me, and I want to understand it. Yeah, and that's exactly why I asked you about your past, because I feel that I always try and study someone's past in order to understand how they came to a conclusion, because, or even their behaviors,
Starting point is 00:13:15 often the people that I feel act in ways that seem unreasonable, or ways that I don't agree with. When I track back and look at their past, I can often be like, oh, there are the dots and they can probably see them too of why they've chosen that path. Not that that path is right or wrong. It takes a lot to go beyond right and wrong
Starting point is 00:13:36 because these constructs are so, and that's what I feel is booked as. This book in itself breaks the construct of what a book is. Right? Like that, when I picked it up, I was assuming that I was gonna read a memoir or like stories and tells, I assumed that's what it would be in my belief system of what a book is by a prominent figure
Starting point is 00:13:57 who's had a life such as yours. And then I opened it up and I was like, wait a minute, this is like, this is not what I was expecting. And I'm seeing like poetry and I'm seeing like rhymes and I'm seeing just short reflections and some really beautiful even exercises and activities that you suggest. And I thought even in this book,
Starting point is 00:14:16 you're breaking down what someone sees as a book. I mean, the cover does it, stunning. And it's like, that's something I would love to help people develop. Because I think it's a skill, it's a habit. And something I would love to help people develop. Because I think it's a skill, it's a habit. And you talk about habits in the book, and we're only as creative as the habits we keep you say.
Starting point is 00:14:31 How do we develop that mindset? Is there a step-by-step system, or is it something that you just start tomorrow and you now are more curious when something conflicting comes your way? It's something to get better at more practice. And meditation is a great tool to Quiet ourselves enough to get in touch with how we see the world the closer we can get to what we see
Starting point is 00:14:54 That's a starting position to be able to Then understand how someone else sees it and it's interesting to be able to learn to argue the points opposite what you believe you know if you don't understand all sides of the story, you don't really understand the story. So it's helpful to understand the whole picture and be, hold all of the beliefs softly enough to be surprised and learn something new and change everything. You know, the book is called the Creative Act and it is about being creative more than even doing things that are creative. But have you ever sacrificed creativity for anything on any project or in any
Starting point is 00:15:40 personal endeavor in life where creativity had to be sacrificed or you felt pushed to sacrifice. So where you felt it was being where there was a bit of a part of you that was like, I'm my after-legge. In the world of art, I feel fearless. I feel like whatever strikes me as this is what's interesting to me, I'm good with that. It doesn't extend as strongly into life. I know people who are completely fearless in life. I'm not there yet.
Starting point is 00:16:15 It's very impressive. I love it. But within the confines of creativity and making things, I know. And only I know it through experience. I started only making things I liked Luckily people like them otherwise I'd have a different job. I would still be making things because it was always my passion I never thought it would be my work. I Always knew I would make things because that's what I love to do I thought I would have a regular straight job to support my habit of making things.
Starting point is 00:16:45 And then miraculously, the universe allowed me to make things as a full-time thing in life. It's crazy. Yeah, it's amazing how we always talk about how life imitates life. And why has it been harder to translate from art to life that idea of fearlessness? What are the things that you find yourself fearing in life that you find so effortless here? There's a life and death commitment in art that's different than the life and death commitment in life. Jumping out of an airplane is different than telling a controversial joke. I can remember recently four or five years ago, I had open heart surgery and I was really
Starting point is 00:17:30 afraid. I was with an artist friend who is a fearless artist and I told him, yeah, I'm going into the surgery. I'm really nervous. He's like, are you going to be fine? Why are you even thinking about that? That's a crazy thought. Because he's confident, he's fearless in life. Still, the normal fears of life get me. But in art, I know the real power in it is going to the fringe edges of where you can go. That's what
Starting point is 00:18:03 it. The purpose of doing it is to see how far you can take it. So I feel in a way obligated to do that. So I know that's what's... that's what's most interesting to me. You know, there's so much middle of the road and it doesn't interest me. I want it because it's louder, quieter, softer, harder. It's pushing some boundary. That's why I take notice. It's not more of the same. It's not just another. It's the one that makes you stop and,
Starting point is 00:18:40 did I really hear that? Did I really see that? What's going on here? You know what you see in movie where you have to lean forward and pay attention. you stop and did I really hear that? Did I really see that? What's going on here? You know what you see a movie where you have to lean forward and pay attention like what's happening? It's not just the audience's hand is being held and walk through a story simply. I like the the complexity and difficulty that forces me as the viewer to participate in what's going on. I'm not just being carried along.
Starting point is 00:19:11 I mean, treat if you'd be happy to go there. How do you use some of the creativity that you've found in art in order to navigate some of the fears in life? Is it helpful? It is helpful. And one of the things is realizing the attitude we bring to things changes it completely. So the same event could be terrifying
Starting point is 00:19:35 or we can decide it's okay. And the same exact event, it's just a mentality I hadn't experienced years ago. I grew up in a place where there were no insects. Wow. Where I grew up was just a very contained protected environment. So I was, and my mom was afraid of insects. So I grew up with this feeling of insects as foreign and scary. And I was in Hawaii about foreign and scary. And I was in Hawaii about seven years ago. And there are centipedes that can sting you. They don't kill you, but they're very painful. And I'd always, and I've been
Starting point is 00:20:12 going to Kui for a long time and was aware of them. And in the back of my mind, afraid of them. And one night I woke up, my head was itchy. I brushed my head, and I felt something extremely painful. And I said to my wife, I think I was just stung by a centipede and I have one of two choices. I can panic, which is what my entire life has led me up to. Or I can decide it's okay and go back to sleep. And she said the second one sounds better. I'll do that. 20 years ago, I don't know if I could have done that. 30 years ago, I'm sure I couldn't have done that.
Starting point is 00:20:53 The panic is what I've been trained for my whole life. That's that conditioning where we're all, as you said, trained, conditioned, prepared for an a certain way. Even things that we don't know about, like we may be afraid, did you know that people were not afraid of sharks before the movie jaws? No, I did not know that. The reason everyone's afraid of sharks is because of the movie jaws. Wow. That, I mean, that makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Change the world. Change the world. Yeah, and it's unbelievable how what we seek or what we shun comes from a movie or a song or a visual demonstration of whatever it may be. And I find the hence so many fears are not real. And as we're talking about fear only, or so often exists mainly in the mind.
Starting point is 00:21:44 And that's what we're talking about. It's a construct of the mind. When we're talking about creativity, you address this fear head on in the beginning because it is a fear. Everyone has some more of a fear just as we say things like, oh, I can't sing. We say things like, oh, well, I'm not creative
Starting point is 00:22:01 or I'm not artistic or I've never really been a creative or more academic or whatever it may be. We have these again constructs right and wrong academic creative, mostly polar opposites. And you're actually saying no, no, no, this is something everyone can access and has access to and do and do access and do access. Yeah, we just don't all acknowledge it but deciding to take a different root home because there's a traffic jam in front of you and figuring out the way to go,
Starting point is 00:22:31 that's a creative decision. Cooking food and it tasting a certain way and you think, oh, maybe it'll taste better if I add this to it, that's a creative decision. We all do them every day we make creative choices. Anytime we do something that's not exactly the same as the way we did it yesterday, the reason it's different is because we made a creative choice. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:22:55 As simple as that. As simple as that. Just a detour in a car. Any food. It was sprinkled with this or that. So we're all doing it. And the book is an invitation to open that channel as far and freely as you can. It really does that. I really believe it does that.
Starting point is 00:23:16 What I love about it is you can truly turn to any page. And I know they say this about a lot of books. And I don't think it's true for most books to be honest because If you pick a random book a random page of a book at the context is completely out. Whereas with this there truly is that sense of If you're looking for that creativity if you're trying to seek it within yourself, there's something that will inspire you What have you found over the years working with artists working with yourself? What have been the biggest blocks? working with artists, working with yourself, what have been the biggest blocks to creativity or to accessing that?
Starting point is 00:23:48 What are the biggest blocks? I know, and I'll touch on a few that I'm intrigued by and curious about, but what would you say are the biggest blocks that people have to being truly creative and imaginative? One big block is concerns about what other people think. That's a big one. I made this thing that I love, but I think other people would like it more if I made it different for them. We don't know what they would like. It's a really, it's all in our head. It comes back to this thing of what I think isn't good enough. If I like it, that doesn't mean anything.
Starting point is 00:24:25 That's what people think. It's like, just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value. Like as an artist, if you like it, that's all of the value. That's the success comes when you say, I like this enough for other people to see it. Not other people like it, so it's successful. That doesn't mean anything, because that's other people liking it as out of your control. All that's in your control is making the thing to the best of your ability. I talk about it usually the way I talk about it is greatness.
Starting point is 00:24:54 And that's the way I thought of it. My whole life was my interest is in making something great, greatness, lasting greatness, timeless, and I came to realize recently it's all an offering to God. And if you're making an offering to God, you're not thinking about, oh, and I came to realize recently, it's all an offering to God. And if you're making an offering to God, you're not thinking about, oh, what's the budget? Or I hope this segment of the audience is gonna like it. We don't think like that. It's a higher vibration.
Starting point is 00:25:20 We're making the best we can make to the best of our ability out of love and devotion. That's what it is. And there is no, I'm changing it for someone else because it can't be better than this devotional act that we're doing. There is no higher, no higher form. Yeah, and that's what you see so much in nature around us. I've always found like,
Starting point is 00:25:45 the sun is just selflessly serving and giving and you see a bush of flowers or you see a tree that's growing fruits. And again, it's providing shade and fruit and it's just serving. And it's interesting how when you call it a devotional act, the idea that it's a service, it's an offering, as you said, in that language. And even an offensive song is that to someone, to someone, it's like I worked with band Slayer, and Slayer were a very controversial, aggressive band. And the people who came to see them didn't come to see them filled with hate. They came to see them filled with love. And for many of the people in the audience, maybe the only experience of love they had
Starting point is 00:26:31 was connecting over slayer. You know, there were people in the audience who seemed like other than this thing to devote themselves passionately to seemed like often hopeless people and for them to have something that they love was beautiful to witness. This episode is brought to you by Ait Sleep. I have to admit, I used to have this old mattress that wasn't the best. It was low quality and so uncomfortable, and it made me really hot at night which was not really helpful when trying to get good sleep. Did you know that temperature is one of the most important factors in improving your sleep quality?
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Starting point is 00:30:03 is to talk to the people that live there. There's just this sexy vibe and Montreal, this pulse, this energy. What was seen as a very snotty city, people call it Bosedangeless. New Orleans is a town that never forgets its pay. A great way to get to know a place is to get invited to a dinner party. Hi, I'm Brendan Friends' newton, and not lost as my new travel podcast, where a friend and I go places, see the sights, and try to finagle our way into a dinner party. Hi, I'm Brendan Friends' newton, and not lost is my new travel podcast where a friend and I go places, see the sights, and try to finagle our way into a dinner party. We're kinda trying to get invited to a dinner party. It doesn't always work out.
Starting point is 00:30:34 I would love that, but I have like a Cholala who is aggressive towards strangers. I love the dogs. We learn about the places we're visiting, yes, but we also learn about ourselves. I don't spend as much time thinking about how I'm going to die alone when I'm traveling, but I get to travel with someone I love. Oh, see, I love you too. And also, we get to eat as much...
Starting point is 00:30:53 I'm very sincere. I love you too. Mike's a lot of therapy goes behind that. You're so white, I love it. Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Debbie Brown. And my podcast deeply well is a soft place to land on your wellness journey.
Starting point is 00:31:11 I hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness and mental health around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your journey. From guided meditations to deep conversations with some of the world's most gifted experts in self-care, trauma, psychology, spirituality, astrology, and even intimacy. Here's where you'll pick up the tools to live as your highest self. Make better choices.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Heal and have more joy. My work is rooted in advanced meditation, metaphysics, spiritual psychology, energy healing, and trauma-informed Practices. I believe that the more we heal and grow within ourselves, the more we are able to bring our creativity to life. And live our purpose, which leads to community impact and higher consciousness for all beings. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be.
Starting point is 00:32:09 Deeply well is available now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. Big love. Namaste. And that sounds like one, I think you're spot on that, that fear of what will people think, what will people say, art versus audience almost. And I feel that that has become such a big challenge in today's world because there's so much data available, social media available, and you get instant feedback, right? So I think in the past,
Starting point is 00:32:39 a band would lock themselves in a shed or whatever it may be and then work on staff and maybe their friends would listen or they would listen. But it would take months before the audience heard it. Today, you could literally record something in three seconds, put it up and get instant feedback. And so the feedback loop has got shorter. The time to create something has got shorter. It's easier to publish and it's easier to get criticism or feedback. And so, in that world, I find us looking so much at like, what's the data saying of the trends of the pace of music or the frequency of music or whatever. And that's obviously only music, but you get to apply that to anything else. Do you think that that obsession in social media music movies of looking at it from a
Starting point is 00:33:24 date of even in movies now? I find like we're just taking old IP and remaking stuff. There's there's very little new IP you just keep seeing old IP finding its way back into TV and movies. Do you say that that's Creativity being stifled and and is hampering creativity? Absolutely and the beauty of it is because so much of what's being made is being made that way, that if we choose to make something not like that, it really stands out. This book, for example, it goes against all of the rules of publishing. From the beginning, I started the book eight years ago, and I met with publishers eight years ago, told them, this is my vision
Starting point is 00:34:05 for this book. And all of them said, that's not the book anybody wants from you. That's not the book. And I said, well, it's, that's the book I want to write. And like, well, but surely you'll tell personal stories and you'll talk about Johnny Cash, you'll talk about, it's like, no, that's not what this is. It's a different book. And then I decided not to make a publishing deal then because even the ones who said they would go along with what my vision was, I could see that they really were fantasizing a different book than this book. I waited till the book was written and then said, do you want to publish this book? Not the book you think is the
Starting point is 00:34:42 book that you want me to write. But this is the book that I wrote that I wanted to write and wrote. Do you want to publish this book? And then when they read it, they're like, oh yes, I'll publish this. That's brilliant. There isn't a lot of things so much as because I, with my first work, I had, I had thought of the title when I was writing it because it resonated to me because it was playful, but also curious. And it felt true to me, it was the biggest reason why I chose an entire, it just, it
Starting point is 00:35:12 felt like it was truth. And so the title I was proposing for my first book was Think Like A Monk. And I'd lived as a monk for three years. I'd studied under these incredible monks and I wanted to share what I'd learned from these masters who'd spent 40, 50 years living his monks. And so the book was almost an offering to them in a way you're saying, and a devotional act back to my teachers and guides.
Starting point is 00:35:37 And every publisher was like, Jay, you should just write a book about like, how to find your passion, or like, you know, like what you love in life. And I was just like, that's, there's beauty in that. There's nothing wrong with the book about how to find your passion. That's great. But that's not me. Like it's not my experience. It's not my book. And I remember 15, 14 out of 17, imprint said no to that title. And we still went with it. And I couldn't be more happier because of that, but you're right. You can't control what the audience wants even if you played every perfect metric in
Starting point is 00:36:11 game. No. But we think we can. We think there's a part of us and that's what I was going to ask you. That almost one end is saying, I am too worried about what people think. But the opposite almost is the ego of, I can either control everything perfectly so that this becomes the number one chart topping song, or I'm right and I know everything.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Do you see that as a block to creativity and how do you purify that? I think the goal is to get to this. This is how I see it. I don't know what other people are going to think. I can't know what other people are going to think, but this is how I see it. I don't know what other people are going to think. I can't know what other people are going to think. But this is how I see it. And I want to show you how I see it. That's my purpose here on the planet is to show you how I see it. And then I want to see how you see it. And where do they line up and where they different. And that's how we make sense of the world. It's not one story.
Starting point is 00:37:06 We all have a story. We all have something to say. And we can all learn from each other. And it's fascinating. It's like there's, there are the same set of chords used in all the songs. Yet new songs keep coming. You know, there's someone who say
Starting point is 00:37:22 all the songs have been written. It keeps happening. How do new jokes come up? They're all, it's like they're all the same, but then they're all different. And how, how we interpret it and art each, and it comes from each of our life experiences, which are different. We, we each have our own family origin story. We each have our own places that we grew up the things that we saw We could go and do the same thing together and then get back and discuss what we saw and see two completely different things And it's not like one of us is right one of us is wrong We're just noticing different things. There's so many data points to take in and we each take in the ones that
Starting point is 00:38:04 Speak to us. So true. Yeah, you're reminding me of the famous words of Mark Twain of history never repeats itself, but it always rhymes. And that, right, the idea of like, yeah, like the same song doesn't come back, but there's a rhyme, there's the chord, there's the, but it's still different. And there's some beautiful, I want to point out to everyone because I really do want you to get this book. Everyone is listening and watching right now. And there's, I've like, doggy at some pages that have some really beautiful moments.
Starting point is 00:38:33 I really like this because one thing I really aim to do here on the podcast, but also in life is to try and give people really practical, tiny steps that they could take. And you do that awfully in this book. And there was this section here, which identifies why I brought up now because exactly what you said, breaking the sameness.
Starting point is 00:38:53 And we think there's the sameness or completeness. And you give these beautiful examples of things people can do in order to do that. And I just wanna touch on a couple of them. And we'd love to hear some examples from you that where it worked. So I really like this one, change the context. So you say, there are times when a singer doesn't connect with a song like an actor whose line reading falls flat. It can be helpful to create a new meaning or an additional backstory to a song's lyrics. A love song might sound different if sung
Starting point is 00:39:26 to a long lost soulmate, a partner of 30 years that you don't get along with, a person you saw on the street but never spoke to or your mother. Have you, I was intrigued, have you ever asked an artist to sing to someone real in their life potentially to get an emotion out? Yes, there's the first example that comes to mind is we were doing a cover of the song the first time ever I saw your face with Johnny Cash and he read the lyrics and he said, I don't know if I could sing this
Starting point is 00:39:58 song, I don't really feel these words. And I said, well, how about if it's a devotional song to God? Is like, I could sing that song. And when he changed it to being not singing it to a woman, but singing it to God, he was able to tap into the energy of the song and he felt the vibration. He felt he felt the trunist to him and singing it. Wow. Yeah, and so he But everyone still thought the song was about a woman. It is. Yeah, yeah, it is a song is But there's a long history of songs that are Love songs that could be two women or could be devotional. Yeah, it's interesting when Songs walk this line. When we think
Starting point is 00:40:46 we know what a song is about and we think it's about a romantic relationship when it's really about their child. You know, these devotional songs. So, and I'm sharing this with all of you listening and watching because I know you, I know you're sitting there thinking, Jay, I procrastinate, I overthink, I don't have a focus which will get into all of that. But I want to share these with you because I want you to try them out in your own area and the world, the work you do. So change the environment. If we're looking for a performance of a different nature, it can help to change an element
Starting point is 00:41:16 of the environment. Turning off the lights and playing in the dark can create a shift in consciousness and break the chain of sameness from performance to performance. Other shifts we've experimented with include having a singer hold the microphone instead of standing in front of it and recording early in the morning instead of at night to access a greater degree of variation. One vocalist chose to hang upside down while singing. Could you tell us some examples of those? Because I find that, again, these are just, they're so simple, but we don't do it. We will sit at the same desk every day,
Starting point is 00:41:57 banging our head against the wall with the same tabs open on Google going, why can't I be creative? And it's often these physical, tangible changes around us. Yeah. And so it happened in the studio. It's not uncommon if we've played a song three or four, or five or six times. And it just feels like it's not getting better. Or we've reached a certain peak. And it's really not all it could be. But then it starts not being as good. Usually when that happens, as soon as you reach
Starting point is 00:42:21 whatever peak you're at and it starts coming down, we usually stop playing the song. But one thing we've done in the past also would be, again, change in the contest, turning the lights off in the studio, it changes everything. It's not take seven. It's the first take in the dark. And it changes. It changes. The first album I recorded with the Red Hat, Chili Peppers was their, I Peppers was their fifth album. And the albums that they had done before, they had all done in traditional recording studios. And they told me that none of those were good experiences. So, they thought about what could we do for this experience to make it the first different one instead of the fifth, if the first four were bad. Could
Starting point is 00:43:06 have been the first good one in the same environment or we could change the environment and it would be the first of any kind. So we chose to rent this big house not far from here and recording this mansion. And that was very different than showing up to recording studio with people working in an office and other musicians and other places we had our whole own world that we created. And some of the members of the band didn't leave during the entire, I don't know, six weeks or two months. They never left the premises. They just stayed there, slept there, ate there, worked there, and never left until it was done.
Starting point is 00:43:47 Well, yeah, I love that one. Invite an audience. This one makes sense, but I think people need to do more. When an artist thrives on being in front of a crowd, we may bring in several people to watch a session, being observed changes how an artist acts. Even if the audience consists only of one person who isn't part of the project, that can be enough. While some artists may overdo a performance for an audience, and others may hold back, most tend to be more focused with someone else's presence. Even if your artist is non-performative, such as writing or cooking, it will still likely
Starting point is 00:44:21 change with an observer present. The goal is to find the specific parameters in each case, now bring out your best. I love the idea. I had a few friends a few years ago, one of their buddies wanted to become a stand up comic, but he had no experience in stand up comedy. So they threw him a stand up show in their backyard and they were like 15 of us present in the audience,
Starting point is 00:44:45 he got announced on to stage in front of an audience that wasn't gonna heckle or be the meanest to him, and he got to practice. And it was just such a beautiful way aid to do that for your friends, but to experience that, and I'm on tour at the moment, this is my break period,
Starting point is 00:45:00 but for my test, we were practicing, rehearsing in a small theater in thousand oaks. And so the theater said to us, as they could throw it out to their local audience members who would have no clue who I was or what I was doing, and they'd come along. Little did I know that we'd have like 50 to 100 people that we can watch in the show just as a rehearsal.
Starting point is 00:45:24 And it was so useful to me before I went out. And it was huge. Like, huge. So I loved that one. I was listening to a story on the way here. I was listening to a podcast in the car and it told story about the Beatles, um, that when the Beatles were interviewed individually, they were all these thoughtful, interesting, social people.
Starting point is 00:45:45 But when they were interviewed even two together, they became sarcastic and never said much about anything real. And was much more of a performative, cool, like to look cool in front of the other one. That just being with each other changed the way that they appeared in the world. Wow. Yeah. That group aspect is so interesting. You've just sparked another thought for me that I think it would be really interesting for people to hear you going back to this.
Starting point is 00:46:22 It's interesting again, then being on their own allowed them to be more of their authentic, deeper self to some degree, I guess. I think it was in Bob Iguis book where he talked about how he was saying that George Lucas, Spielberg, Tarantino, and a bunch of others used to almost have a movie mastermind where they'd played their movies to each other before they went out. And he was saying that that's how confident they felt about their own work, because they were showing their competitors, their movies, but they weren't scared of anyone stealing an idea or taking a concept, because they they were so confident who they were and all their friends were so confident in their styles.
Starting point is 00:47:07 And we know that a Tarantino movie versus a Spielberg movie has no similarities. Yes. And in some ways, that community, we talk about that in the book too, having a community of it doesn't have to be people who do the same kind of art as you. But people who just taste you, you respect, you like what they do, they like what you do, and being able to share your work back and forth is a really great feeling. Yeah, how have you, that's a really nice segue.
Starting point is 00:47:36 How is that affected? How you've learned to filter criticism and feedback? Because again, going back to the world we live in today, because of that instant feedback loop You can have a hundred comments that are negative on social media Your song didn't make it. It's not as big as the next album. You have the top 10 chart. You didn't make it I think the way everything's measured and broadcasted now Can make criticism and feedback in one sense seem louder before you went into a room and
Starting point is 00:48:06 Someone told you you weren't getting a new deal and no one knew Today you didn't get a new deal and the whole world knows and your fans know and the opposing fans know it's messy it's like how if you Worked on that for yourself and the work you've done and even the artist that you work with who I'm guessing may be more sensitive to it may not have that natural confidence or groundedness in what it is. How do you how and even people who listen today, how do we think about feedback in criticism? Most of the artists I work with don't read any any criticism reviews that they work good or bad. Most. Some, some do. And I would say the ones who are the strongest in who they are can even read a terrible review and laugh at it. And that makes sense because when someone gives you criticism, it's telling you as much
Starting point is 00:49:00 about who they are as what you've made. It's like we make things and then we make it with one through our filter, our perspective. And then you receive it through your filter with your perspective. So even if we both like it, we probably don't like it the same way for the same reasons. We all have our own relationship to it. Everyone has their own relationship to it. So any of these metrics of which is better, like the idea of the Oscars or the Grammys where we're saying which, which album is better than another, it doesn't make any sense to me because it's always apples and oranges. If you have a Drake and Beyonce, and you're deciding which album is better. Well, Drake's album is clearly a better Drake album than Beyonce's album is.
Starting point is 00:49:51 And Beyonce's album, I'm sure, is a much better Beyonce album than Drake's album is. But the idea that one's better than the other, it makes no sense. Who has a better diary entry? It's like, it's, it it's if we are actually making these personal things, you can't compare them or compete in any way with anyone else. The only people who we can honestly compete with is ourselves. It's like, is this the best I can make today? Have I gone further than I've gone before? That's all we can do.
Starting point is 00:50:26 That's the only competition that makes sense, is continuing to evolve and push ourselves artistically and not get complacent, especially in success. It's easy to get complacent once something works. It's like, I'll just keep doing more of that. It ends up maybe one more time you can get away with it. But once three or similar, it stops being interesting. Yeah, that's so true. And that comes back to that sameness point that we always, and I'm just addressing things that I know all
Starting point is 00:50:58 of you are thinking and feeling right now, like, or I'm assuming you are the idea of, oh, Jay, there's already, you know, the idea of, oh, Jay, there's already, you know, when I started making podcasts, I think there were like 700,000 podcasts in the world. And today, there's like two million plus, maybe even more now. And that's in three years, it's tripled. Since I started four years ago, it's tripled. And so when I started, everyone's like, Jay, there's 700 podcasts. We don't need another podcast.
Starting point is 00:51:24 Too late, too late. Exactly, too late. And then now, everyone's like, oh, this 700 podcast, we don't need another podcast. You're like, exactly, and then now everyone's like, oh my God, there's two million podcasts. There's two lay. And we do that. We start again using a metric to say,
Starting point is 00:51:34 and you'll only feel that way if you're planning to repeat what's already been done. Because if you're not planning to repeat it, then you're one of one. You're not one of two million or one of seven hundred thousand. It's one of one because you're only bringing your own essence out, right? Yes. Just because every other podcast,
Starting point is 00:51:53 you can be like, there's so many interview podcasts. There are so many interview podcasts, that's true. And they're all different. And they're all different. Exactly. And we got introduced through your long term friend and my new mutual friend Andrew Hoopeman, who's also been a guest on this podcast. It's a phenomenal podcast.
Starting point is 00:52:10 I love this podcast, but it's so different to who I am, so different to what we do. And then there's a million other friends that we have that I've shown. So the most common thing I hear when it comes to creativity or it comes to tapping into essence is distraction, overthinking and procrastination. Like those words come up from my community again and again and again. And that's the kind of community listening I do like to do where I'm like, well, what are people struggling with?
Starting point is 00:52:36 Because we're trying to help. What are people's challenges? I have to know from them. What they think it is. And then I'll also share in the way I do. Have you, or anyone you've ever worked with ever dealt with big bouts of procrastination? Absolutely. Yeah. And how do you define it? Because I almost think that. Well, I would say there's two. Distraction and procrastination are related and different.
Starting point is 00:52:59 Procrastination is not a good one. Distraction can be. Distraction can be helpful. You can use distraction if you hold a question to be solved and don't sit and think and try to solve it, but go do something else and go, you know, take a walk or go for a swim, you'll find that it changes. It changes. And the distraction of when you go for a walk and seeing, oh, look at that tree over there. Look at those birds, oh, that card came kind of close to me. All of those things that living in the world,
Starting point is 00:53:34 even though it's not challenging in any real way, it's a distraction that's using some part of your brain. Some part of your brain is occupied with, do I turn left or do I turn right? Oh, look at that thing over there. What is it going to rain? These other things are happening. That's different than just sitting in a room looking at your laptop. Just those outside cues can give you a way in to solve a problem that you wouldn't solve if you were sitting and working on it. For example, if we were now doing this podcast together on a walk, it would be a very different podcast than I sitting here
Starting point is 00:54:14 staring into each other's eyes. And it's a beautiful idea. I've had there was a period of time where I lost a whole bunch of weight. And one of the things that I did as part of that was I only did walking meetings before I used to only do lunch meetings. So I switched to the lunch meetings to walking meetings. And I would meet people in Santa Monica and we would walk. And the meetings were so much better than the meetings either in a restaurant or at an office.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Everything shifted just because we were moving, we're doing something, there were external stimuli, even though the external stimuli had nothing to do with what we were doing. Yeah. It changed, it was a change in context that really did make the conversation much more interesting and there's also something about when you're
Starting point is 00:55:06 walking, you're not looking at each other. So it's easier to go into your own thoughts when you're not looking at someone. So it was very interesting, a great experiment, lost a lot of weight and the meetings were the best they've ever been. Yeah, yeah. That makes a lot of sense. There's a lot of working, couples' psychology that suggests that when couples argue, they're usually sitting on opposite sides of a dining table. And when you're sitting with something in between you, first of all, I mean, here we don't have anything, but you have something in between you. It's already creating a distance. And now you're working against each other. Yes.
Starting point is 00:55:43 Rather than what you're saying is you're working against each other. Yes. Rather than what you're saying is you're walking with each other. Yes. And you're looking off into the same direction. So you're almost creating a future, the idea that you're forward, your future forward, your future facing. It's funny, my wife and I, whenever we get to a new table and we're sitting to eat, we always say, we look at where the chairs are, and one of us will say cheek to cheek.
Starting point is 00:56:07 And we tend to sit next to each other instead of across the other. There you go, cheek to cheek. Yeah, cheek to cheek, I love that. And that makes so much sense with leadership meetings, creative meetings. And I love that, I love, love, love. And this is why this book is so beautiful
Starting point is 00:56:23 because it has so many really subtle points and the idea of the difference between distraction and procrastination. And how distraction can actually be healthy. And especially as you said, when you hold a question or you hold an idea and you're just kind of twang with it, but you might pick up a book, you might go for a walk, you might whatever, you could do all these things,
Starting point is 00:56:45 but it's almost like you're using that time wisely to come back. And... Absolutely, going for a drive is a great one. Yeah. And just paying attention to not crashing, and even though we can drive essentially on autopilot, we're not thinking about driving,
Starting point is 00:57:03 once we've been driving for a while. But just driving ideas come. I know many musicians, singers who will listen to the instrumental music in the car and then sing along when they're driving because they're more free than when they're sitting with a recorder. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. That makes perfect sense. Yeah. No, and it's so interesting how we have so many. We've also built up, again, absolutely. That makes perfect sense. Yeah, no, and it's so interesting how we have so many, we've also built up, again, going back to our conditioned beliefs. We've built up a negative relationship with the word distraction. We've built up a negative connotation around, if I don't solve it right now, sitting in this one place, then I'm never going to figure it out.
Starting point is 00:57:41 And the idea that actually going on a walk, picking up something else, that's one of the reasons why I like having in my office here in the studio, back in my home. Everything's quite minimalist, but I have a lot of like little artifacts and little things. And because I enjoy the kind of like stimulation and the creative juices that start flowing, if I get a moment to just observe.
Starting point is 00:58:04 And then sometimes I just wanna observe nature nature outside where I can just sit and bask and almost bathe in nature, which I find to be so useful because there was this incredible study from MIT a few years ago where they tried to look for who are their most creative, innovative employees inside the corporate organizations. And MIT was doing the study. They found two sets of charts of types of employees, employee A and employee B, employee A, knew lots of people that knew each other, and employee B knew lots of people that didn't know each other. And they were looking at which one's more creative, innovative, and hence
Starting point is 00:58:43 more imaginative inside a company. And they found it was Employee B because Employee A knew people who knew people who knew them back. Small circle, closed circles. Close circles that created these echo chambers. And you asked the same 10 people for advice. And Employee B knew lots of random people
Starting point is 00:59:03 who had no connection to each other. And the point was being made that if you're circle and that I think applies to environment as much as it applies to people is more random and disconnected, you have more chance of having a original, authentic, thought idea spark as opposed to your surrounded by the four same people. And you talk about the same things. Absolutely. And that, to me, has always been
Starting point is 00:59:29 what I'm trying to do. It's like, I want to know what the monks think and I want to know what Silicon Valley thinks and I want to know what music geniuses think because that's something there. Absolutely. A word you use in this book that I want to touch on, and that's why this came up for me was submerged.
Starting point is 00:59:43 And I loved it when I saw that word. I was just like, yes, like I love that. I have thought about that for so long, submerging yourself. We've lost that ability to submerge. We don't submerge ourselves much because we have so much of a little. How have you in this hyper connected world working with the most connected artists in the world? How have you encouraged yourself and others to continue to submerge when everyone's asking us to swim, shallow. I think so many of the great artists do it naturally. You can't help it.
Starting point is 01:00:15 It's the obsessive nature of being really into something that once you start down a thread, you just keep pulling forever. If you're interested, many of the artists that are graded what they do are graded what they do for that very reason. They fall in love with this thing and then they just want to know everything they could possibly learn about it. And there are no distractions. I'm working on a project now, a documentary project with comedians and One of the things that they talk about is their commitment like when other people are doing things on the weekend going out with their friends They're going to perform every you know every night that they can possibly go out and perform Until they can get good at their craft and this could could be for a period of, you know, 10 years of just having bad performances,
Starting point is 01:01:08 you know, having people not like what you do, like banging your head against the wall, but that obsession with breaking through. And when I say breaking through, I don't mean breaking through to the audience. I mean, breaking through with themselves, to where they get past all of the blocks, and to be free in this moment, in a way where they can really express their views and be heard, and people can react. It's a fascinating thing.
Starting point is 01:01:43 I just want to ask about being a monk. What did you tell me about your experience? What would you like to know? How did you choose to do this first? I was born and raised in London. And when I was around 18 years old, I started going to events in the city where speakers were invited to come and share their stories or journeys or successes or whatever it may have been.
Starting point is 01:02:06 And this is obviously before podcasting and before YouTube. And so you actually went to events to hear people like yourself or anyone speak. And so I would go and listen and there'd be founders of companies, there'd be athletes, there'd be musicians, people like that that would come to universities and colleges in London and so I'd go and One of the nights I went I was invited to hear a monk speak and I was 18 years old and my I didn't really have a Perception amongst I didn't really have any I'd seen saintly people and holy people coming from an Indian background But I never really knew what monks were or what they did and so I said to my friends I didn't really want to go but I said I'd only monks were or what they did. And so I said to my friends,
Starting point is 01:02:45 I didn't really want to go, but I said, I'd only go if we went to a bar afterwards. That was my, that was my state of consciousness, age 18. And my friends were very persuasive in convincing this. And yeah, it will go. And so I went to this event, kind of like not expecting anything, wanting to leave. And I was just completely like flawed. This monk was from India, he was born and raised in India, he had a thick Indian accent, he was wearing saffron robes.
Starting point is 01:03:13 And there was nothing externally that I should or should have found attractive about him as an 18 year old guy. But his whole message, and that's why I smiled when you said it earlier, like his whole message was that the greatest thing you can do in the world or greatness is to use your gifts in the service of God and use your gifts in the service of humanity as a devotional act. And he was talking about how living in
Starting point is 01:03:39 devotion. And my 18 year old self was just completely like, mesmerized by that idea, I was just like, I've never heard this, like, everyone's been telling us how to be successful and how to start a business and how to launch a company and how to become number one. And it was like, this guy was just saying that that wasn't it.
Starting point is 01:03:58 And so I went up to him as you do after an event when you're blown away by a speaker. And I just said to him, I was like, I just wanna follow you around, like I just wanna spend time with you and learn from you and sit at your feet and just observe. And he said, well, I'm doing all these events in London this week, you can come.
Starting point is 01:04:14 So I would go along. And then that turned into my, during college, that turned into my summer and Christmas vacations being with him. And then when I graduated, I turned out my corporate job off as an actually went and lived there for three years. And so it was like all these little steps up to like this very big decision. And so that's why it was just one person who I've just always been fascinated by people
Starting point is 01:04:38 that you meet that can change the trajectory of your life. And the reason why I do this show is because I want to introduce people to people and thoughts that I think will change the trajectory of their life because I didn't ever want to be a monk. I didn't think I'd become a monk. I didn't crave to, like it wasn't a path I saw for myself, but it became the best thing that ever happened to me at that time. And now I live in gratitude, but I also realize, so I always ask people, who's your monk?
Starting point is 01:05:04 Like, who's the person you need to me that you haven't met yet that could change your life? It's an example in the book of people say, you know, I'm not a good artist or you're either living as an artist or you're not living as an artist. There's not, you're not good at it or bad at it. It's like being a monk, you're either living as a monk or you're not living as an artist. There's not you're not good at it or bad at it. It's like being a monk. You're either living as a monk or you're not living as a monk. You can't be a bad monk. If you're living as a monk, you're a monk. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, it's beautiful. I mean, you've
Starting point is 01:05:36 had so much, even today, you know, and that's why I was excited to meet you in person because you have such a spiritual journey and essence and just in spirit, even in just your presence and what you talk about, the vocabulary you have, where did that get infused with the work you do? Like, or as again, as that was being there, or what was your journey? I learned to meditate when I was 14 and that's turned into a big part of my life. I stopped meditating when I went to college. And then when I moved to California,
Starting point is 01:06:05 I started again. And when I started again, I realized, oh, even though I hadn't done it for the last five years, a big part of who I am is because I did it when I did it. Had I not stopped, I wouldn't have recognized that. So the stopping and starting was a very clear, wow, this is a big part of how I see the world. Already, even with not doing it for the last five years. Not too long ago, in the heart of the Amazon rainforest, this explorer stumbled upon something that would change his life. I saw it and I saw, oh wow, this is a very unusual situation.
Starting point is 01:06:41 It was cacao, the tree that gives us chocolate. But this cacao was unlike anything experts had seen or tasted. I've never wanted us to have a gun bite. I mean, you saw this tax of cash in our office. Chocolate sort of forms this vortex. It sucks you in. It's like I can be the queen of wild chocolate. We're all lost. It was madness. It was a game changer. People quit their jobs. They left their lives behind so they could search for more of this stuff. I wanted to tell their stories, so I followed them deep into the jungle, and it wasn't always pretty. Basically, this like disgruntled guy and his family surrounded the building armed with machetes. And we've heard all sorts of things that, you know, somebody got shot over this.
Starting point is 01:07:20 Sometimes I think, oh, all this for a damn bar of chocolate. Listen to obsessions while chocolate on the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. How's that New Year's resolution coming along? You know the one you made about paying off your pesky credit card debt and finally starting to save a retirement? Well, you're not alone if you haven't made progress yet, roughly four and five New Year's resolutions fail within the first month or two. But that doesn't have to be the case for you and your goals. Our podcast, How to Money can help. That's right, we're two best buds who've been at it for more than five years now, and we want to see you achieve your money goals, and it's our goal to provide the information and encouragement you need to do it. We keep the show
Starting point is 01:08:03 fresh by answering list of questions, interviewing experts, and focusing on the relevant financial news that you need to know about. Our show is Choc Full of the Personal Finance Knowledge that you need with guidance three times a week, and we talk about debt payoff. If, let's say you've had a particularly spend-thrift holiday season, we also talk about building up your savings, intelligent investing, and growing your income, no matter where you are on your financial journey, how do money's got your back? Millions of listeners have trusted us to help them achieve their financial goals. Ensure that your resolution turns into ongoing progress. Listen to how to money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:08:38 I'm Jay Shetty, and on my podcast on purpose, I've had the honor to sit down with some of the most incredible hearts and minds on the planet. Oprah, everything that has happened to you can also be a strength builder for you if you allow it. Kobe Bryant. The results don't really matter. It's the figuring out that matters. Kevin Haw.
Starting point is 01:09:00 It's not about us as a generation at this point. It's about us trying our best to create change. Luminous Hamilton, that's for me been taking that moment for yourself each day, being kind to yourself, because I think for a long time I wasn't kind to myself. And many, many more. If you're attached to knowing, you don't have a capacity to learn. On this podcast, you get to hear the raw real-life stories behind their journeys, and the tools they used, the books they read, and the people that made a difference in their lives so that they can make a difference in hours. Listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeart Radio app, Apple
Starting point is 01:09:33 Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Join the journey soon. What type of meditation is that? TM, okay, got it, got it, yeah. I learned TM, um, change my life, but, got it, got it. I learned TM, changed my life. But since then I've learned Vapasna and I do many different, many different practices, and breathing practices, and Tai Chi, and many different meditative practices.
Starting point is 01:09:53 I often come back to TM maybe because it was first. Yeah, yeah. And it's beautiful. It's absolutely. It's simple and beautiful. Yeah, absolutely. And it's interesting to me, meditation just seems to be, but there was definitely a generation
Starting point is 01:10:07 where meditation became really prominent in the lives of so many, especially so many people today that you meet, that are doing Ray Dali who's been on the podcast a million times. And again, he talks about TM as being such a big part of his financial success in terms of making wise financial investment
Starting point is 01:10:25 decisions and a special human as well. I feel like that resurgence is back now where there's so much more talk about breath work and meditation. And if you had any words of wisdom or insight for anyone who's trying it, experimenting. What would you suggest to them as someone who's done it for so long, had breaks, found usefulness in it? Are there any things that come to your heart or forefront of your own? The first thing that comes up there's a beautiful book called Wherever You Go, There You Are. I love that book. I had meditated a long period of time before I read it, but I remember reading it feeling like this is the best both introduction to meditation and reminder of the power of meditation regardless of where you are in your meditative journey. So I
Starting point is 01:11:11 would recommend that book as a way in and find the practice that works for you. And I've also used like yoga midra or different guided meditations, which are so beautiful and helpful. Yeah, absolutely. I used to load a yoga knee drawer when I had my handier surgery. I was like, I couldn't get a sleep because of the pain. So, yoga knee drawer is beautiful. If you have trouble sleeping everyone, yoga knee drawer is like really special. You strike me as someone who appreciates growth and inner work and self work through at least what you've said
Starting point is 01:11:47 today and shared today and the thoughts and the book and and I was wondering what do you feel has been the hardest thing that you've worked on internally or the most challenging thing that you've worked on internally you said you can only compete with ourselves artistically but internally what has been the greatest challenge that you've worked on or are working on now? No, I would say losing weight was the biggest challenge of my life. I weighed 318 pounds at one point, and I was overweight my entire life, and I tried everything.
Starting point is 01:12:18 From the beginning, I went to weight watches meetings with my mom, you know, like my whole life was dealing with weight issues. And finally, just honestly getting the right information because I would do whatever was recommended and nothing worked. At one point in time, I had a performance coach living at my house for two years who watched everything I ate and got me to exercise and changed my life for the, I got so much healthier with his help. And he said, in the last two years, I've watched everything you've done 99 out of 100 people would have shed 100 pounds. And for some reason, it's just the way it just doesn't come off. He's just scratching and head, I don't understand it, must be, you know, must be something
Starting point is 01:13:06 else. And then finally, I saw a nutritionist at UCLA. And I hadn't, by this point, I believed nothing would change the situation. My mom was obese, my mom was in a wheelchair. I just assumed that that was the way it was. It was a genetic thing I assumed. And I went to see a guy at UCLA based on a mentor friend genetic thing I assumed. And I went to see a guy, UCLA based on a mentor friend of mine saying, I really want you to see this guy. And I was sure it wouldn't work because I tried everything and nothing worked. So, but I loved this person who recommended me to go. He was one of my great mentors recently passed away. His name was Moast and great, great man. He worked for Frank Sinatra
Starting point is 01:13:46 and signed Jimmy Hendrix and signed the Sex Pistols and unbelievable person, unbelievable human being. And he was the one who got me to see this nutritionist, UCLA. He said, just go to see this guy, go to see the guy that I send you to and do it every set. And I did. And I lost like 140 pound, 135 pounds in 14 months. But that was probably the most radical, just because it was a lifelong issue. And I believed it couldn't change. Eventually, I believed it couldn't change because I tried everything. And it was in some ways, this is interesting.
Starting point is 01:14:23 The moral of the story is through giving up, I turned myself over to this nutritionist. I didn't do what I thought was right. I did what he thought was right. And what he suggested sounded crazy to me. But I did what he thought was right. And it worked in the same. Like I was, I've never exercised in my life.
Starting point is 01:14:45 And then I started hanging out with Laird Hamilton and these incredible athletes. Because when I lost a bunch of weight, they invited me to start training with them. And I just wanted to be around them because they're such interesting people. Like I like being around people who are good at what they're good at, especially when what they're good at is different than what I'm good at.
Starting point is 01:15:01 It's just interesting. The way they see the world. So I got to hang. It's just interesting. The way they see the world. So I got to hang out with these incredible athletes and through giving myself to them of doing what they said, you know, I first day I went, I couldn't do one push-up. And then, and I say, I can't do it. So you don't say, you can't do it. So you haven't done it yet. And then they train me where I could do 100 consecutive pushups, like crazy things. Yeah, you reminded me of Thomas Edison's statement of, when you feel you've exhausted all options, remember this you haven't.
Starting point is 01:15:38 And I think it's so interesting with health specifically. It's fascinating that you chose that, but I think that's so true, where you think you're doing everything right, and I've experienced that with myself as well, especially with my gut and inflammation, where I was like, I was doing everything right, I'm really living a healthy life, and still having this,
Starting point is 01:15:56 and then again, passing myself over to an amazing coach, who's just told me exactly what I need to eat, and all of a sudden you feel better, and it's almost like magic when it happens. Yes, but it's also finding the right coach because you could see 10 other coaches and do what they say and it doesn't work. It's we're so different. That's another thing, the idea that one size fits all. It's like there is no one answer for anyone. We have to find our path. You could have seen probably many different monks
Starting point is 01:16:25 and not had the experience you had. It was that monk spoke to you. I remember the first time I saw a Ramdha speak. I felt like this is the first spiritual teacher that really speaks to me. And the next one was Tick Not Hon. When I saw Tick Not Hon speak, I felt so much peace in my body hearing him speak
Starting point is 01:16:43 that I couldn't even hear what he was saying. I went into a trance in his presence. I was so I felt so much peace in my body hearing him speak that I couldn't even hear what he was saying I Went into a trance in his presence and this is with 2000 people You know in a room of 2000 people He stepped out on stage and I felt like I was gonna pass out. Yeah. That's how much PC carried So being seen these things seeing these incredible teachers and these deep souls and getting inspired and learning from them all is, that's the work. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 01:17:10 And you're right, that finding our mentors, our guides, our teachers is such a, or people that inspire you is such a, such a big part of life. And I've found studying their stories and studying their life. It gives so much texture to your own as well. And when you look at passing these things on, when you look at passing, as you start this book, I talk about how these aren't facts,
Starting point is 01:17:36 them, my thoughts, and hopefully they help and support you. When you think about giving this, I can imagine a lot of young parents who are listening, thinking, well, how do I help my child to tap into their creativity? How do I help help? Even if it's not your child, but my friend, my family member, what have you found helpful ways in being a proponent of ideas that you believe in? Have you found specific things to be more authentic and useful and hence translate better? I think in general, people don't like to be told what to do.
Starting point is 01:18:13 So the best way that you could inspire someone to do something is through the way that you carry yourself. If you act in a creative way in the world and you do it to the best of your ability and if someone else recognizes it, it might inspire them to do the same. So I think it's hard to teach someone something that we don't practice. We have to practice it. Yeah, that's the hardest part.
Starting point is 01:18:40 Yeah, but it's also the most fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's our purpose. It's the reason we're on this planet is to do this work, to do our work, whatever that is, whatever our part is to play our part in this giant symphony. Hmm, when you're trying to find your part, that's the part I think that confuses
Starting point is 01:19:01 or concerns so many people because so many parts today have become barcodes or Conveyabouts and there's so many of you doing your part. It may feel sometimes where it's like well I work in a company where we all do the same thing like what is my part? I think there's such a We've been talking about originality the whole time, but I think so many people feel like what they do is so so much of a commodity, it's not original. When someone searching for that purpose, as you said, your purpose is to play your part, which I think is
Starting point is 01:19:36 beautiful. And I couldn't agree more. A few years ago, I really came to the conclusion, I realized that what I do is not better than anyone or worse than anyone. It's not early than anyone or later than anyone. It's not for anyone or not for anyone. It's it is just what I'm meant to do. It's just my role and that's such a liberating place to live from. Absolutely. But it's it almost feels like today there's so much pressure for people to pursue that or find that. Yes. They either don't find it or they get scared to look for it.
Starting point is 01:20:08 What have you found to be useful on that? Well, I want to say that given the example you gave of the cookie cutter work, maybe your purpose in life isn't related to your job. Maybe your job is your job and the job is the thing that supports you. And then the rest of your waking hours are devoted to your purpose, whatever that is. Yeah, and a lot of us are trying to make it the same thing. Yeah, and it's beautiful when it happens, but it doesn't always happen. And it's out of our control also.
Starting point is 01:20:39 Yeah. We can decide, I would say, if you need to have a job to support yourself, that's great. That's a noble thing to do. And follow your dreams. But I'm not saying they're one thing. They don't have to be one thing. And don't let following your dreams undermine your ability to support yourself. It could do, it could actually do the opposite. If you decide, I want to be a comedian and I'm putting all my eggs in the comedian basket and I'm going to be a comedian, the pressure of having a support, support yourself will change you as a comedian, not for the better. You want the stability of being able to take care of yourself in the world to be free to do whatever your
Starting point is 01:21:27 passion is, whatever it is, fishing, you know, whatever it is. Yeah. And that's so true that I think the scarcity ruins the art, right? It's the abundance of, I did my day job. I'm now safe and secure. I can be artistic as opposed to sometimes actually, I'm now safe and secure, I can be artistic. I suppose to sometimes, actually, I'm going to debate my own statement. Because sometimes it also feels like the pain of trying to do something is what creates
Starting point is 01:21:55 good art as well. But yeah, I mean, but you could be just painting it anywhere. There's pain anywhere. Yeah, there's pain in, you know, getting up in front of people and then not laughing is painful. Yeah, yeah. There's pain in it anyway. Yeah, there's pain in it anyway. If that means you also can eat, I don't know if that makes it less, more or less painful. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. It's almost like giving ourselves permission to make art. I guess it's like there's a moment where you go, now I'm worthy almost. But what you're saying is you are always worthy because it's who you are.
Starting point is 01:22:27 Yes, you're always worthy as who you are. Yeah. Why do you think we don't feel worthy of anything, not just making up, but so many of us I think feel a sense of like we're not worthy to do what we love. We're not worthy to share our purpose or our passion. There's a sense of, we don't want to give ourselves. I think there's a mythology that the people who make things that we love are special people. And that we think that they're, you know, the people on Mount Olympus,
Starting point is 01:22:53 and they're these magic people who are geniuses. And then there's the rest of us. And that's not the case. It's like we're all just people. We're all doing our best. We all are good at some things, not good all just people. We're all doing our best. We all are good at some things, not good at other things, we're humans. And sometimes we find a way to make something beautiful. But that's it. It's, you know what I mean? There's no, there are no special people. Really, we're all special. Yeah. Yeah. And I, everyone, please listen to that again and again and again, because it's, that's the mess of like, that person's gifted, they're special,
Starting point is 01:23:27 they did something unique. And I promised you if you knew them 20 years ago, you wouldn't think that. But you just met them at this precipice of their life. They don't think so. They don't think that yeah. Or if they do think so, their art will suffer. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:42 The ones who believe the hype, you know. Yeah, yeah. How did you respond? What was your first time you felt, and even if maybe you didn't even allow yourself to feel it, but what was the first time you experienced success? And how did you respond to it? Because I hear so many people say, I just wanted to repeat it, right? And that again, getting caught coined that same, when was the first time you experienced maybe even felt successful? And how did you respond to it?
Starting point is 01:24:09 My first memory of outward success came when the first Beastie Boys album license to ill was the number one album in the country. And I got a call from a person who I worked with saying, you have the number one album. I only know this because I remember the phone call. Had the call not happened, I wouldn't, I would have no idea how I felt.
Starting point is 01:24:31 And the call came, how do you feel you have the number one album in the country? And I remember saying, I've never been more unhappy in my life. And I think we mistakenly think And I think we mistakenly think some kind of outward success is going to change something in us and it does not. It may make life more comfortable, but it doesn't change who we are. And any hole in ourselves that we're hoping to fill does not get filled. And if you spend,
Starting point is 01:25:09 let's say you spend 20 years of your life working towards a goal that's going to solve everything. And then you finally achieve what you've been trying to do for 20 years, toiling away. I won't have any fun because I'm working for 20 years through for this end and then you get that end and nothing changes. That's when you get hopeless. So it's not uncommon to see very successful artists who are very unhappy in life because they are working towards this the thing that's going to make them feel better and it does not make them feel better. I'm sure you've got to meet many very successful business people, you know, billionaire people. Very few of them are happy, very few.
Starting point is 01:25:56 And they've reached there, they've accomplished their dreams and are unhappy because we don't know what we want. You know, we don't know what's going to make us happy. We're trying to fill something that maybe can't be filled through material or cultural success, public success. It's something else. It's some internal thing. What was it at that time that put you in?
Starting point is 01:26:22 I don't know. I don't know. I think it was more, I think it was more just the reality of, well, that doesn't matter at all. And it's always been, I'll say, I like when people like the things I make. Of course. And it changes nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It changes nothing.
Starting point is 01:26:39 Yeah, yeah. I found that there were only a few things through my monk experience that helped me realize what made a difference. One was something we're experiencing today which I really feel from you and Homer who's always been here. He's filmed every episode pretty much. We've done for the past corners have long now but there was a stillness and a quiet and a presence. And so the first thing was presence. The idea that. So the first thing was presence. The idea that presence is a big part of joy and happiness and just being able to actually be here right now. And the way you said, you're one of your favorite books was where you go, there you are, is that?
Starting point is 01:27:15 Wherever you go, there you are. Don't cap it. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Wherever you go, there you are. Presence. The other one is learning and growth. The idea that we're growing, we're evolving, we're learning there is some kind of stimulation of evolution, we all need to evolve.
Starting point is 01:27:37 The third one was achievement, there was a sense of achievement, but I think today's sense of achievement has become about an external metric as opposed to do we even think today's sense of achievement has become about an external metric as opposed to do we even think that's worthy of achieving or pursuing. And then the fourth, which to me, sometimes is the most important, is the service element, the act, the offering that we were working always in devotion. And those were like four really simple things that I think have always formed part of the mocktail of joy, happiness, success. When you said something really beautiful there, you said the first time you fell outward
Starting point is 01:28:11 success. When was the first time you experienced inward success or felt that or is that something that's constantly improving? No, that's something probably making something that's what would have been one of the very first records I ever made. The experience in the studio of hearing something that I haven't heard before, getting excited by it, and then maybe going out and hearing it in the club. You know, like even getting the club to play it, just so I could hear it in the club,
Starting point is 01:28:34 that experience of like, wow, there it is, or the first time you hear something that you make on the radio. It's very exciting, not because of what it means, but just, I spent my whole life listening to music on the radio. And now, whole life listening to music on the radio. And now there's something I made on the radio. I still have this experience on a semi-regular basis just out in the world. I'll be somewhere in a coffee shop and a song come on that I produced. And the feeling is like, wow,
Starting point is 01:29:02 can you believe it's just out there like that? I remember, I remember I I could choke myself up, I could remember being in the room, what we were doing. Like, and now it's playing here, how crazy is the world? I went to WrestleMania yesterday, and a song I produced was played at WrestleMania. I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't expecting it. I was like, wow, the WrestleMania, it's crazy.
Starting point is 01:29:22 Yeah. And you still feel that today, that's what's so special. It's just a wild, you can't believe it. It's crazy, it's magic. I love that seeing, how long have you done this now? How long have you done what you do? 35 years? Yeah, I got to go to, I've been a Manchester United support of my whole life and I got
Starting point is 01:29:43 to go again recently. I have a really wonderful relationship with the club and I went to watch a game recently when I was back in England and it was the first time I got to meet legendary manager, Cyrilix Ferguson and he's the most decorated manager in Premier League history and United's longest standing manager and, you know, worked with the greats. And I got to meet him for the first time and we were just hanging out and talking and having lunch before the game. And what I loved, what you were saying about you love watching people with greatness, what I loved about him was, he was talking about football like Asako for those who, he was talking about football like a fan. He was still. Like I was like, I was like,
Starting point is 01:30:26 Sir Alex, you gave me the best memories in my childhood. I was naming all these games that they'd won. And I knew he knew that. It's like me telling you my favorite songs, you've worked on, I know you know them, but I had to tell him for my sake. And he was like living each game with me as a first. And I was like, how are you still,
Starting point is 01:30:44 you know, how is it that it's still so fresh? And I guess the same question to you, like, how is it still so fresh that a WrestleMania or song surprises you? And you still get that child like, like, you know, because it doesn't make sense. None of it makes sense. I remember the ordinary situation that it came out of. I remember the studio in one of the first times I ever came to California. I remember it's not a studio. Now it's a flower shop where the studio used to be off of La Sianica Boulevard. It was this tiny little studio and I remember being in this tiny little room and one of the first times in California and what a fun experience it was making the record now cool it was.
Starting point is 01:31:32 And that now, however many years later, 25 years later, seeing a stadium of 80,000 people and the song comes on unexpectedly, it's just bizarre. It's bizarre because I know the modest beginnings of all of these. And it's just regular people like you and me showing up somewhere and making something that we think is cool. It's unbelievable that it has some life that goes on. It's crazy. But I love that because when I'm hearing you say that, it's like you took notes. Like there were mental notes of like that moment we went in. Like there's a gratitude and there's a perspective of
Starting point is 01:32:06 It wasn't just as you've just laid out it wasn't just about having a record on the radio It was all those minute small moments of discovery and of intrigue and curiosity which which you made a note of Somewhere in your subconscious that you then recall and somewhere in your subconscious that you then recall and live through when you hear that song in that moment. You're not living there just listening to a song at WrestleMania or on the radio or number one. It's like you're living through all those miniature moments that created it. Yeah, and I never listen back to music that I work on.
Starting point is 01:32:40 So when I do hear it out in the wild, it's funny. It's like, wow, look, it's still there. Crazy. Is there a reason you don't listen to it? Because I'm always making something new. I have no reason to go back. Yeah. You never even feel a sense of nostalgia or like, uh, no. Unless, unless I'm working with an artist, and there's an example that comes up where I think, oh, we did something like this a long time ago. This might listen to this and see if this gives you any inspiration. So more as a tool, but I would do the same for something I didn't make.
Starting point is 01:33:12 It would be less listen to this TV wonder song because we may have learned something same. Yeah, that makes sense. There's a beautiful chapter in this book that I want to talk about, which is all about memories and subconscious. And I felt that you talk about this idea of larger intelligence and tapping into and even making almost journaling about dreams, which I found was something that I'm definitely going to practically take on.
Starting point is 01:33:36 So I've never journaled about dreams. I know I dream and there's times when I forget and there's times when I remember and sometimes I'll tell, of the times I won't and I when I read you say that you actually wrote about dreams in journal to what I'm going to start doing that now. So that's something you've directly impacted me to do is a practical thing because I feel like I've had fascinating dreams in the past. I've forgotten. It's too messy.
Starting point is 01:34:00 And they go and they go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go. They go and they go very quickly, so quickly, so quickly. And that's when I was reading that part, I was like, okay, I need to hold on to these. So some of the tricks, I, I, yes, talked to some degree in the book, but not so, I just touch on it in the book. There's so much to talk about. But when you wake up, you don't move at all because the,
Starting point is 01:34:19 the way the dream works, it's a chemical reaction in your brain. So it's also good to know if you wake up from a scary dream and you don't want to think about it. If you just shake your head around, it'll be gone. So you keep pen and paper right next to your bed and the minute you wake up, you grab the pen and paper moving as little as possible and just start writing. And even if you only remember, I remember there's a part in the dream where this happens, write the part you remember, and you'll see through the process of writing more of the dream will appear. It's you don't even when you wake up, you won't remember as much of it as you know. But once you start writing, you can start tapping into more.
Starting point is 01:35:00 Oh, and before that, this happened. And then this happened after that. And you'll start noticing more details. And the more you practice it, the better you get at it. So I did that for a period of time. And at the time, the dreams made no sense. They were just these abstract, you know, Salvador Dali paintings. And yeah, and just went on abstract. I've no idea strange strange dreams. So I do what they are and then years later I found that journal and and I read it and When they were happening I thought every dream every night was completely different and none of them were about anything I understood and years later when I look back at it all The dreams were about the same thing and they all, it was so clear what my subconscious was telling me.
Starting point is 01:35:49 I don't remember what it was, because it was probably 20, 20, some odd years ago. But I remember being shocked by, oh, this didn't make, I was too close to it to understand it. I was too close. And with a little bit of distance, you can see what it is. Yeah, yeah. And it's also interesting to see how your subconscious works, how it, how your subconscious abstracts reality to show it to us in a way that's intriguing and interesting, but not obvious.
Starting point is 01:36:22 It's very beautiful. The therapy for Black Girls podcast is the destination for all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Here, we have the conversations that help Black women dig a little deeper into the most impactful relationships in our lives, those with our parents, our partners, our children, our friends, and most importantly, ourselves. We chat about things like what to do with a friendship ends, how to know when it's time to break up with your therapist, and how to end the cycle of perfectionism. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford,
Starting point is 01:37:06 a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. And I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Take good care. I'm Eva Longoria.
Starting point is 01:37:24 I'm Maite Gomez-Rajón. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast, Hungry for History. On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages, from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home.
Starting point is 01:37:45 Corner flower. Both. Oh, you can't decide. I can't decide. I love both. You know, I'm a flower tortilla flower. Your team flower? I'm team flower.
Starting point is 01:37:51 I need a shirt. Team flower, team core. Join us as we explore surprising and lesser-known corners of Latinx culinary history and traditions. I mean, these are these legends, right? Apparently, this guy Juan Mendes, he was making these tacos wrapped in these huge thirdillas to keep it warm and he was transporting them in a burro, hence the name the burritos. Listen to Hungary for history with Ivalangoria and
Starting point is 01:38:14 Mait de Gomez Rejón as part of the Michael Tura podcast network available on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Out 20s are seen as this golden decade. Our time to be carefree, full in love, make mistakes, and decide what we want from our life. But what can psychology really teach us about this decade? I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the Psychology of Your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, friendships and much more to explore the science and the psychology behind our experiences, incredible guests, fascinating topics, important science and a bit of my own personal experience. Audrey, I honestly have no idea what's going on with my life. Join me as we explore what our 20s are really all about.
Starting point is 01:39:13 From the good, the bad, and the ugly, and listen along as we uncover how everything is psychology, including our 20s. The psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Now streaming on the iHOT Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. The reason why I love that so much is I even had to retract the immediate question that came into my mind and I retracted it
Starting point is 01:39:38 and I'll tell everyone what it is, but I retracted it because I just love the act of observing and being present with your dream as you're showing us how to do. And the modern day question is, well, what's the benefit of that? Like why would you do that? And when I was asking you in my head, I was like, if I just listen to you and I'm listening to you and I'm remembering reading what I read and I'm thinking, the benefit is just the
Starting point is 01:40:02 act of observing and just being there and being and being and then like you said being able to then look back Potentially and potentially in the future. Maybe not maybe it is to see if there are connections and the subconscious You're so right is is speaking to us in almost such a compassionate artful way Yes without telling you on the nose It's an important point. Don't do things just because you think you're going to get something for it. That's not why we do things.
Starting point is 01:40:29 Do what's interesting to you. Follow what's interesting. Don't worry about the outcome. We don't know. We can't predict the outcome. We can never predict the outcome. Follow your own inner guide. It directs us.
Starting point is 01:40:44 It might not make sense to us. Might not make sense to anyone else. Certainly won't make sense to anyone else, but it might not even make sense to us. And that's okay. It's fine. Yeah. Listen to yourself. Why is it telling you this? Why is telling you this? I told I mentioned my heart surgery earlier. My son was born 18 months before the heart surgery. I didn't know about the heart issue.
Starting point is 01:41:08 I knew about the heart issue in that it was something I was born with, but I didn't know that it was anything I would need to deal with. And a friend of mine said, when my son was born, you're gonna have a whole lot of energy and your son is gonna want his mom. So you're gonna have all this energy and nothing to do with it.
Starting point is 01:41:27 So pick something interesting to you, or that you want to do, or something you want to accomplish, because you're going to have all this extra energy with nowhere to put it, because you're going to want it to go to your son, but he's not going to want that. He's going to be taken. So I decided I wanted to learn deadlifts, heavy deadlifts. The only exercise experience I had was with Leonard Hamilton. And we didn't do any formal exercises like that. We did a lot of weight training,
Starting point is 01:41:53 but it was more balance and coordination oriented and super fun, really interesting and challenging, as challenging mentally as it was physically. Usually, you'd cognitively not be able to do it before you physically couldn't do it, which was fascinating to me too. It was never like sitting on a treadmill looking at the TV. It was always, if you were not paying full attention to everything you were doing, you'd probably get hurt.
Starting point is 01:42:21 So really you're focused. And I like focusing on things. So it was fun. So then I thought, okay, learning like proper form Olympic deadlifting, I'm doing the Olympic dead lifting. And as the way it's got heavier, I realized I was, I had this anxiety before I left. That didn't make sense to me. And even to the point where I talk to the trainer and I said, it makes sense to me. And even to the point where I talk to the trainer and I said, something doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 01:42:47 I'm gonna pick up this weight and one of two things is gonna happen. The weight will go off the ground or the weight will not go off the ground. If the weight doesn't go off the ground, we'll take off five pounds and then I'll try it again. What if it goes off the ground or doesn't go off the ground? I don't care.
Starting point is 01:43:07 I don't care at all. Why would I have anxiety if I don't care? Turns out the wisdom of the body knowing that when I finally found out what was going on in my heart and I talked to the heart surgeon, and he asked for kind of exercise, I do, and I said, oh, I'm doing this heavy Olympic deadlifting. He just, he put his head, his head in his hands. And he said, every time you lifted the weight, you're playing Russian roulette every time.
Starting point is 01:43:30 He's like, there was no worse thing you could have done with what was going on in your heart. So and again, I didn't know that, but something in my body had all this anxiety around something that I didn't care about at all. Yeah. So there are levels of wisdom that we don't know. We don't understand. So when you have an intuition to take the stairs instead of the elevator, or I always go home
Starting point is 01:44:01 this way, but today for some reason reason I feel like going this other way. Or maybe I'm going to cross street and walk on that side of the street. Whatever it is, whatever little intuitions in your body that come, listen to them. See what happens. Be open to, there's more going on than we know. There's a lot more than our conscious mind can pick up going on. Yeah, we often do so many things because we think they're right. We think they're healthy. They're the thing you're meant to do and it, but it doesn't sit with you somewhere.
Starting point is 01:44:31 Yeah. And I think so many people have, I know for a fact that I feel like I started following my intuition when I was probably around 14. And so that voice is very loud. But I know a lot of people that I've worked with and coached and also worked with in my life that started stop listening to the rain of voice at 14. Yeah. And so it's very quiet now. And so it becomes harder to really hear it. Yes. Because we've suppressed it for so long. And then the the ego or the outside noise is so loud that we're guided by that. We're not misguided by that.
Starting point is 01:45:08 It's hard to tap into it again. Have you found anything that helps you tap into it when you feel like you're losing it or if you met someone and you've worked with it? And you've said, here, just try this to tap into it again. And the example you just gave right now kind of feel real too,
Starting point is 01:45:20 where it can be something as simple as take that root, do that, because I find that people lose touch with it. Absolutely. I would say when you're getting advice of any kind, expert advice from whoever it is, no, maybe that's, maybe that applies to me. Maybe that applies, and maybe it doesn't. but it's okay. It's okay. There's no bad intention on the wisdom that's being shared with us. People are offering their best information, but the information that they're offering is based on their experience. So no, even when it's someone you really respect, when they're suggesting something, maybe
Starting point is 01:46:04 that would work, maybe I'll try it, maybe not. But listen to what's going on inside yourself. And I would say getting to wherever it is that you've gotten, we've usually gotten there through listening to something going on inside of ourselves. I have many successful musician friends who have gotten there through listening to what's going on inside themselves, and then in success, think it's time to start taking direction from the outside world. Makes no sense. It's hard. Yeah, like you either do at the beginning or you do at the end, and it's almost like they're the same. In the sense of what what you were saying earlier, the idea of, there's this beginner's mindset
Starting point is 01:46:48 where you're always open to hear people's thoughts, so you don't know, there's that idea of, I don't know, we have to feel and see. But that's different to, I don't know, therefore someone else must know, or I've known up to now and now I don't know. I don't know, and nobody knows. No one knows. And everyone's intentions are good. They're not out to get us.
Starting point is 01:47:09 But nobody knows. They think they know the wisest thing we can do is know enough to know we don't know. If you start from maybe, maybe that's true. It could work, who knows? Yeah. Not hold anything so firm as this is the way it is. Maybe that's true. It could work. Who knows? Yeah. Not hold anything so firm as this is the way it is.
Starting point is 01:47:28 I know how it is. Anytime you know how it is, your world just got a lot smaller. Yeah. Timy. Yeah. There's, yeah, it's, this idea is crystallizing for me as we're talking, this idea that you can be thinking, you can be doing, you can be feeling,
Starting point is 01:47:44 or you can be knowing. And a lot of us try and play so much emphasis on knowing, but no one actually knows. And so it's better to either change our thoughts, change our behavior, or focus on our feelings and sense as you've been saying all along. It's like you've got a feel how it how it. And I'm not saying we'll always be right. No, no, no, no, no, no, there is no, well, there is no, yeah, there is no right. Yeah, there is even, there is an even or not, right? Yeah. Pay attention to what's going on inside yourself. But there's so much information going on inside of ourselves
Starting point is 01:48:14 and to live information. Great. This has been such a beautiful and fascinating conversation for so many reasons. We end every on purpose episode with a final five. And these answers are answered in one word or one sentence each. So you have that kind of capacity. And I want you to tell us about your new podcast that's coming out as well. So we'll talk about the end better. The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard, received or given?
Starting point is 01:48:46 Don't listen to anyone. And what is the worst advice you've ever heard, received or given? Don't do the thing you love. Question number three, how would you define your current purpose? Making every step that I make in the interest of the highest good. Question number four, what's something that you believe strongly that you think other people find it hard to understand? Everything. That's really everything. And fifth and final question, if you could create one Lord that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
Starting point is 01:49:30 Love each other. Beautiful. Rick Rubin everyone, the name of the book is the creative act, a way of being. If you don't already have a copy again, I highly recommend it. I promise you it will be an investment that will be something you pick up for years. It's not a book you've read and put down and then you never see it again. It's going to be a book that you're going to go back to again and again and again. Day after day, month after month and find new gems and new jewels and new wisdom that
Starting point is 01:49:56 will inspire your creative journey. So if you're been someone who's been blocked, stuck, trying to find out where that's gone or haven't ever seen it before. This will be the book to unlock here. I highly recommend it. And Ricky, you also have a new podcast as well. Yeah, it's called Tetrogrammerton. I've been doing the Broken Record podcast
Starting point is 01:50:15 for about five years where I mainly speak to musicians. And I'm so interested in people who are not musicians. I mean, it's just one of the things that I'm involved in, but I'm much more curious than just about music. And it just seemed like, well, why would I do that? So I recorded the first 15 of them. Okay, amazing. Amazing.
Starting point is 01:50:37 Where can people find it everywhere? Everywhere. Okay, okay. Make sure you go and subscribe to the podcast, got 15, I'm sure they're coming out weekly or. They'll come out weekly and sounds like I'm sure they're coming out weekly or they'll come out weekly and sounds like I'm sure you've got some phenomenal guests already lined up. So please, everyone who's listening and watching with the book, go ahead and listen
Starting point is 01:50:52 to the podcast as well. I'm sure you're going to be hearing amazing interviews and introductions and new insights on people that you know and love them. I'm sure there'll be some new people there too, but make sure you do that. Thank you so much for today. Thank you for your energy, your presence, your work, and putting this together, and making sure you put out the book. You want it to put out. I'm very grateful for it. I was, as I said, I was personally amazed at how you'd transformed, how people would have
Starting point is 01:51:18 thought about a book from you. And I hope it inspires many more people to find their truth as well. So beautiful. Thank you so much for reading it. Thank you. Of course. Thank you. And I hope it inspires many more people to find their truth as well. Beautiful. Thank you so much for reading here. Thank you for joining us. Thank you, I appreciate it. If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.
Starting point is 01:51:39 My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I'm gaining strength and gaining wisdom, and I just want to keep doing that. Hey, it's Debbie Brown, host of the Deeply Well Podcast, where we hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness, around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your well-being journey. Deeply well is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment,
Starting point is 01:52:11 to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is available now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Namaste. Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. Namaste. I am Dr. Romani and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. This season we dive deeper into highlighting red flags and spotting a narcissist before they spot you. Each week you'll hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and their process
Starting point is 01:52:45 of healing. Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our 20s often seen as this golden decade, our time to be kit free, make mistakes, and figure out our lives. But what can psychology teach us about this time? I'm Gemma Speg, the host of the Psychology of Your 20s. Each week we take a deep dive into a unique aspect of our 20s, from career anxiety, mental health, heartbreak, money, and much more
Starting point is 01:53:18 to explore the science behind our experiences. The Psychology of your 20s hosted by me, Gemma Speg. Listen now on the iHeart Radio Amp Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

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