On Purpose with Jay Shetty - Taylor Hill: How to Navigate Emotional Challenges & Ways to Practice Gratitude in Lifes’ Unexpected Hard Times

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

How does gratitude aid during emotional struggles? How does focusing on positives improve our emotional well-being? Today, let's welcome supermodel, content creator, actor, and philanthropist Taylor Hill. Discovered at the age of 14, Taylor has worked with fashion houses and luxury brands around the globe and has graced the covers of prestigious fashion magazines, including Vogue. Beyond her modeling career, Taylor is the founder of Tate and Taylor, a media content platform and community inspired by her late Labradoodle, Tate.  Taylor speaks candidly about her emotional journey with her late Labradoodle, Tate and the profound bond she shared with him,  describing how he was more than just a pet – he was a soulmate and a source of unwavering support. She also opens up about the challenges and triumphs of starting her modeling career as a teenager, highlighting the pressures and responsibilities that came with her rapid rise to fame. Inspired by her journey with Tate, Taylor founded Tate and Taylor, a media content platform and community for pets and their humans. She explains the mission behind this venture, which aims to support pet owners and raise awareness about animal welfare. In this interview, you'll learn: How to handle emotional challenges How to manage early career success How to stay fit mentally and physically How to manage grief and loss How to pursue your purpose How to find joy and gratitude everyday Taylor's story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the healing power of unconditional love, an inspiring message for anyone facing their own struggles and searching for meaning in their experiences.  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 03:50 Earliest Childhood Memory 09:30 Modeling at 14  12:52 Going to School Wasn’t For Me 15:26 Victoria Secret Model 18:18 Audition Process for Models 20:20 Having the Right Team 24:52 Discipline of a VS Model 33:32 VS Comeback 38:55 Experiencing Burnout 42:12 Losing Tate 51:33 The Signs and Symptoms 01:13:01 Healing From Losing Your Pet 01:19:40 Pregnancy and Miscarriage  01:44:52 Alone Time While Grieving 01:53:02 Emotional Support From Your Partner 02:04:01 Everyone’s Journey is Different 02:10:39 Building the Tate and Taylor Brand 02:20:52 A Brand for a Cause 02:24:48 Taylor on Final Five Episode Resources: Taylor Hill | Instagram Taylor Hill | Facebook Taylor Hill | TikTok Tate & Taylor See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay. And me, Simone Boyce. Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more. I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side. You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share. Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side. This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.

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Guess what, Will? What's up, Mango? I've been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we've done over 250 episodes, we don't really talk about murders or cults. I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy. We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food, and how do dollar stores make money, and then of course, can you game a dog show?

So what you're saying is everyone should be listening. Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. I tried out for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I wanted to try out and I wanted to do this, so I went and I auditioned for it, and when I booked it, I was shocked. She's made a huge splash in the fashion industry.

Victoria's Secret Angel, Taylor Kim. Let's talk about the grief of losing a friend. I'm looking at him and I'm asking him like, if you need to go, please let me know. I will let you go. Hey everyone, I've got some huge news to share with you. In the last 90 days, 79.4% of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are not subscribed to this channel.

There's research that shows that if you want to create a habit, make it easy to access. By hitting the subscribe button, you're creating a habit of learning how to be happier, healthier and more healed. This would also mean the absolute world to me and help us make better, bigger, brighter content for you in the world. Subscribe right now. The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health and wellness podcast in the world.

Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. Now you know our mission here is to help the world, help you become happier, healthier and more healed. And the way we do that is by trying to introduce you to people who can help you for seen, heard and understood. And I want you to be able to relate to the experiences, the challenges, the journeys that our audience and our guests go on.

And today I'm so excited. I'm so grateful and I'm really honored to be having this conversation. I've been really looking forward to this. I've been speaking to so many friends who've been going through different challenges and I really believe that this episode is going to be a powerful and empowering one for each and every one of you. Today's guest is Taylor Hill, supermodel, content creator, actor and philanthropist. Taylor was discovered at the age of 14 and Taylor's worked with fashion houses and luxury

brands around the world and graced the covers of many of the biggest fashion magazines, including Vogue and many, many more. Taylor's life was forever changed when she became mom to her late labradoodle, Tate. Their special bond together inspired Taylor to create Tate and Taylor, a rapidly growing media content platform and community for pets and their humans.

Today, we dive into Tate and Taylor's story. Please welcome to the show, Taylor Hill. Hello. Taylor, thank you for being here. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited. I'm so honestly grateful to have you here. And even the few moments, we've probably spent actually about

half an hour chatting even before we started recording. And in that moment, I can already tell I completely am in sync with your energy. And it's been so wonderful spending this time with you already. I'm so excited. I'm also kind of nervous. I mean, this is only, I think, like my second podcast I've ever done. So I'm happy that, you know, I get to be here and I get to talk to you. You're amazing. And I've obviously listened before and it's a special, it's a special listen.

So thanks for letting me come and talk. Well, thank you for trusting us and thank you for being here. But let's dive straight into it. I want to ask you, I feel like you're someone who's had such an iconic career. You are extremely well known. You're brilliant and one of the best at what you do across the world. Yet, we may not know so much about you.

And that, I had so much curiosity when your name came up and I was like, yeah, I know exactly what that is, but I want to learn. And so I want to start off by asking you, what would you say is your earliest childhood memory that you feel has defined who you are today? Let's start off by asking you, what would you say is your earliest childhood memory that you feel has defined who you are today? My first memory ever is my, I think it was my third birthday party.

I, so I was born in Chicago and I lived there until I was probably about five years old and then I moved to Colorado and that's like my home and where I am from in my head because I don't really remember Chicago but I remember being in our backyard there and we had this little red house and it was my birthday party and all of the kids in our neighborhood were over and we were having a party and I had a pink Barbie cake and I specifically remember the candle was Barbie, like it was a very intricate candle. And everyone's singing Happy Birthday and then I'm supposed to blow out the candles. And then my friend, he blew the candles out before I could.

And I got so upset. And I was very emotional and I was like kind of crying and I got so mad. And I was like, why would you do that? Oh my gosh, like I was supposed to do that. And then my mom's like, it's okay we can you know, we'll light the candle again and then you can blow out the candle and I was like Well, it's not the same. He took my wish like I was heartbroken and I think if that says anything about me it's just that I'm I'm very emotional and that says anything about me, it's just that I'm very emotional. And I just sometimes when people do things that aren't so nice to others, I sometimes

don't understand. I'm like, why? Why did you do that? So that's one of my very first first memories. But I think something that kind of helped like maybe define who I was when from a child, I would say, is sports. I was a gymnast from when I was nine. I did ballet from when I was six,

and then I grew up snowboarding. And I think for me, being athletic and being active really helped shape who I am because I've been, you know, I've been modeling for 14 years. I was scouted at 14 and I love my job and I love working and I have such a passion and a drive for it and I think I have such a drive because of being in sports my whole life and honestly being a gymnast, not a very good gymnast, but I loved it. I had so much fun doing it even though I wasn't, my mom was like, this girl, she's not going to the Olympics.

That was understood, but she encouraged me to do it anyway and she knew I had fun and it gives you sort of this sense of structure and healthy competition is always a little bit nice. And I love the sport of gymnastics because it's very demanding in a sense. And it challenges you to always be better. The sort of motto of gymnastics or what my perception of it was from doing is, strive to be better, It was... And push myself in something I enjoyed doing.

Kind of gave me the... I have a similar headspace in my modeling career just because I love doing it and I love my job and I just want to keep doing it, you know? So I think that's two things about me. Yeah, those are great answers. Do you still know the person who blew that candle out? I do, yes. I do. I haven't seen him in forever, but I did go back home to where I was born.

A couple of times, like throughout my childhood, my godparents and my mom and dad's best friends, they still lived there and their children were our childhood best friends. So we would spend summers together and everything. And some summers I would go back to Chicago and like see them and all that and see the kids in the neighborhood so I did see this boy multiple times and he was a really good friend it was very innocent you know we were only maybe three years old so he didn't know what he was doing either but I just didn't understand I

was like does he realize now what a big moment he probably doesn't even remember that he did that but I do yeah? He probably doesn't even remember that he did that, but I do. Yeah. And he probably doesn't even know I'm talking about him, but I'm not going to say his name, but we know. No, no, no. How was that like when the Barbie movie came out? Was that like, has Barbie always remained an idol in your life since that day or not really?

You know, I loved Barbie. I have two sisters and I actually have three siblings. So I have an older sister, a younger sister, and a younger brother. And we're all very close in age. We're all about roughly one year apart from each other. So growing up, we loved playing dress up. We loved Barbie.

We loved toys. We loved, you know, Polly pockets. We loved my little pet shop. You know, we had all of those things. We loved all of that. And I loved the Barbie movie. I thought it was great. And I thought it was really profound

and it touched on a lot of things in a really interesting and kind of a lighthearted way. So yeah, I had a childhood connection to Barbie for sure. So I loved her. And then when the candle was blown out, I was like, how could you do that? Sorry. I can see it still affects you.

What was it like? You said, of course you got scouted at 14. What was it like? You have siblings. I'm assuming they weren't all working at 14. And so when you start working at 14, which is a very young age, first of all, what does working at 14 as a model look like? Like what are the hours? What are the commitments?

Do you drop out of school? And then, how do your siblings react to it? How do your parents react to it? Like, what does it look like? Because I feel, yeah, they're not working, they're not getting paid, they're not traveling. Yeah, it was interesting. I mean, so, my mom was a hairdresser,

so she worked in a salon and cut hair. And, you know, after having all four of us, she obviously was like, I can't stand on my feet all day and take care of four young children under the age of five. So we're not going to do that anymore. And she became a stay at home mother, which I'm so grateful to have had my mom. And that's a job. It's work. And she was amazing at it.

And when I was scouted and I started traveling and working as a model, it meant that I went to New York, I signed with IMG when I was 14, and from there I went everywhere. I traveled the world at 14 years old and my mom came with me everywhere I went. I did Paris Fashion Weeks, I did New York Fashion Week, I went to Australia and I lived there for a month or two, you know, Milan, all those places and she came

with me everywhere. And I definitely wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for my mom and her support. And I know it was a difficult thing for even her to navigate. She had three other children at home and, you know, we were all trying to figure out how we were gonna do this. My grandpa was a huge help. He you know would come with me places as well and he would live with me places. He lived with me in LA for a bit. He traveled with me and then when my older sister was 18 she would travel with me and she would live with me which wasn't much help

because she was 18 and I was 17. So you can imagine how fun that was for us to do. But you know, my mom always wanted to make sure I had somebody with me who was just like another set of eyes making sure I was good and I, you know, I could take care of myself and she made sure to teach me how to, you know, read signs in an airport. And this is what this means.

This is how you get to your gate. And this is how you do this. And don't take a car ride from a stranger. So she was really, really good at making sure I was able to do all of that. And then my siblings, I think it was really, we just didn't know. You don't know what you don't know.

And I think we didn't really know any better. And it was like, oh, well, this is Taylor's doing this. So this is what she does now. And they were, you know, nothing changed, I think, for them, because they didn't never see me differently. They were just like, well, Taylor goes to work instead of goes to school. So whatever, you know, and I think because we were all a similar age, they did have an understanding of what I was doing.

It's not like they were really young and didn't get it or much older than me and didn't understand why I didn't want to go to school or didn't go back to college and stuff. They were kind of accepting of it. And my older sister now is a photographer and a content creator herself, so she really got it. She gets it and she saw what I wanted to do and you know,

that I loved what I was doing. So she was really helpful and supportive of that. So yeah, it was definitely interesting. I look back on it and I'm like, oh wow, how did we do that? I don't know, we just kind of did it, you know? Yeah. At the time, was it exciting or was it scary? Or what parts were exciting and what parts were scary?

I was really excited just because I wasn't very good at school. And I didn't love being in school. I was really distracted, daydreaming, kind of didn't pay attention very well, like didn't learn things very easily, not very good at math. And I remember the first time being on a set and feeling so excited because I was like, oh my God, I can do this instead. And once I started booking more and more jobs

and school became more and more difficult to keep up with. We looked into so many different options. I did do homeschooling for a little bit. And ultimately, that was still really difficult based off of how much I was working because you have to put in at least five to six hours a day, even on online school, because you have to commit an hour or so for each class. I was in different time zones, Getting one-on-one time with my teachers to explain something to me was very difficult. So, you know, I tried to go back to regular high school, but, you know, in Colorado, they don't have these child entertainment laws like they do in California. There was no structure for me to be able to do both. So ultimately, I dropped out of high school and I got my GED instead and I just I left school totally at 15 and started full-time modeling at 15 and to me it was really exciting because I felt like I all I

would think about while I was in school was I can't wait to get out of here. Stay in school you know what I mean? Don't do what I do. No, I'm just kidding. I do value school. I think education is really important, but I do think that it's not always for everyone and people learn differently. And I feel like I went to sort of a school of life, I guess you could say.

I kind of learned by doing and by seeing the world. So I have a different education than what academia maybe teaches you. So I am grateful that I got to experience some school, obviously, like a normal childhood to an extent until about 15. But I'm grateful I started I left and I was done and doing what I was doing by 15. I felt like, OK, this is it. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. So I was just ecstatic.

I was just, I was where I was meant to be, you know? It's amazing hearing your passion and drive. Like after all these years, you said, you've been modeling for 14 years and I can feel like it's still this energizing feeling. What was that transition like from that to becoming a Victoria's Secret model? Like, what is that journey like?

Like, what is that arc like? Like, how hard is it to move from Paris Fashion Week and New York Fashion Week and doing runways and then going to actually be a Victoria's Secret model at the time? It was really interesting because, you know, at that time, Victoria's Secret was the end-all be-all, you know what I mean? It was not to everyone, but to a lot of models, it was, oh my gosh, you know, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

It gave you more of a mainstream name, I guess. You were more, I guess, in the street, the pulse of pop culture, I guess, if you were a Victoria's Secret model. Some of the most famous models in the world were Victoria's Secret models. You know, Gisele Bund Bunchen is one of my favorites. And I love her and look up to her.

She's why I went to IMG because I was like, Giselle Bunchen is at IMG. At the time she was. I don't think she still is. But when I signed with them, she was still with them. So I was like, I want to be where she is. And Carly Claus is with IMG and I wanted to be where she was. So I feel like when I went from doing fashion and more commercial brands, I did shoot a lot for H&M and Forever 21 and some of these younger maybe fashion lines that were more for teenagers like myself.

So I did work a lot with brands like that. And then when I turned turned 18 I was switching into more of you know adult modeling which is so crazy because I was still so young 18 years old and I tried out for the Victoria Secret Fashion Show just because you know because why not everybody wants to do it I wanted to try out and I wanted to do this so I went and I auditioned for it and when I booked it I was shocked because I really didn't think that I would get it on the first time and on the first audition because so many people

go back multiple, multiple, multiple times. But probably because I'd had, you know, a fashion career and had been on runways since I was 14, I was able to sort of be in the room and kind of maybe know a little bit more about what was happening. Whereas I feel like some girls start modeling at 18, 16, 18, you know, so they're still new and newer. And I even though I was still really young, I had been working for four years. So I felt ready for it and I was excited for it. And when I booked it, I was shocked.

And I was like, I can't believe I'm here right now, no way, this is happening, like what? So that was really scary, scary thing was booking it. I was like, oh God, okay, all right, this is happening. But it was an amazing thing for my career and I'm really grateful for it. And I'm grateful that I got to do that because I wouldn't be sitting here if I hadn't.

So I'm grateful for it for sure. I keep saying that but I am. No, I believe it. How many steps was that audition process? Like what does that look like in terms of getting there? It's well... And what is it like? Like what are you doing? I mean it was like 10 years ago now so I have to try and remember what I did. But I'm pretty sure what happened was I... So I knew the casting

director who was casting for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. He was casting some of the other shows that I'd walked in before like Michael Kors and you know, a couple of the other New York shows as well as shows in Milan and Paris. So I was familiar with him. And for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, you go to a pre-casting with him and his casting team. And you know and you do the walk, they record you, they film you, they ask you questions, where are you from, how old are you,

what agency are you with, so it's just a little bit of your personality or the way you talk on video, and then they take your picture, and then I guess they probably take it back to the Victoria's Secret internal casting team that also does show casting. Because when you get into the main room at the Victoria's Secret headquarters,

there's five or six people at a table in front of you and then five or six people behind them sitting in chairs and they all have notepads and there's a big camera and they're filming you and you do the whole walk thing and they ask you to do it again and do that. So I did a pre-casting with the casting director directly. And then I went back in for a callback, which was the main casting.

So they had probably seen my tape and seen my pre-casting video and thought, okay, let's request her for our main castings. So I went into that. And then sometimes there's another one and there's another callback and, you know, another casting you have to do. But I was working in LA, so I went to my casting and got on a flight and landed in LA and got a call that I booked the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. So that's what I did.

That's how it happened to me. It's useful to know. I feel like we it's like we need a picture in, right? Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. So that's what I did. That's how it happened to me. It's useful to know. I feel like we, it's like we need a picture in, right? Like, because if you've never done it, you just don't know what the process looks like. And you mentioned something that I've heard a lot of models talk about how they went from like teen modeling

to adult modeling and also when you're still a teen. And like, how was that process for you? Because I've heard other people describe it as like, it was uncomfortable where certain poses or certain clothes or whatever it was like I've never worn something like this or did you feel that or was it not like that for you? Was it just kind of like you enjoyed it? It was fun? No, I didn't feel like that because I was just happy to be there.

I was like I'm just happy to be here. Also I love it. Like I love, I loved playing dress up when I was a kid and I'd do it for a living. So how can I not be just having the best time ever? Trying on all these clothes, doing all these things. Also I did dance, wasn't very good at it, but I loved it and I loved dancing and I loved gymnastics and I loved moving. If you're on the right set and you have the right team around you and a lot of the Victoria

Secret team from that time, I've known them for a really long time and I have worked with a lot of the photographers in the past and you know, it felt like a safe space and my memory and my interpretation of that environment was that I was safe. So I felt comfortable and I was just like, oh, this is what we're doing now. And I had the best time doing it. So for me, I never felt afraid to do anything. So I just was so excited, I guess. Or maybe I was just young and was like, whoa! I don't know, maybe a bit of both, you know?

So I don't know. I love hearing that. I know some people do feel that. And that's, I have felt like that for sure, definitely. But maybe not in those instances and maybe not at that time, just because a combination of excitement, youth, never having that experience before, being excited to be there. So it kind of wiped away the fear a little bit.

Maybe I was a little delusional and kind of was like, whoa, this is so cool. It's like rose-colored glasses a little bit. But I've been in scenarios where I'm like, whoa, this is so cool. You know, it's like rose colored glasses a little bit, but I've been in scenarios where I'm like, yeah, maybe not. So, you know. Yeah, no, I think, I mean, I love hearing that. I think for me, I mean, I moved to LA much later in life,

but even for me, like, as soon as I came to the United States, to me being in the US is like living in a movie because we grew up watching American television in London. And so when I first landed in New York, I'd visited maybe once or twice in my teens with family, but I remember moving and like, even when I saw like a yellow school bus or I saw like a cop car or NYPD or whatever, like to me, it's like, I've only ever seen that in a TV show or a movie. And so it's really fascinating.

And then you see the Empire State. And then when I moved to LA, it was the same thing. It was, wait a minute, even now when I'm driving down the streets and there's palm trees and he just said, I'm like, I'm on vacation. Because yeah, in my head, like that's such a, it's such a alien experience. Yeah. Having grown up in London that, you know, living in LA. So I kind of have some of that youthful enthusiasm

around some of these things too, because it reminds me of a time when I used to watch TV religiously and what I grew up on. So I can resonate with that feeling. Whereas someone will always be like, oh, don't you think LA is like this or New York's like this? I'm like, to me it just reminds me

of what I saw in the movies. Like, wow, I can't believe I get to be here. Yeah, exactly. I can't believe I never imagined in a million years that my life would look this way. And so I'm just taking it all in as opposed to seeing gaps and holes in it or whatever else. Yeah, there's days where I see gaps and holes. But my overarching goal and perspective is to be. I'm in awe, you know, and I am still in awe and I can't believe I'm even sitting here right now.

Like this is crazy. So, you know, it's just, I definitely, that's just I think my natural sort of energy and where I sit with things is just, wow, I'm here. Whoa, how did I get here? And, you know, like all humans do, every day is different. So there's definitely times where I'm just like, oh, whoa, this is, you know, I don't like this. I don't like this feeling or what's happening here and what's going on there. So there's definitely both.

Like I don't want, you know, the perception of me to feel like she just, whatever, she has no idea what's going on. She's in a bubble. Like, and I'm just, no, I just feel, I just feel grateful. And I think the most important emotion for me to feel daily is gratitude. So I try to remind myself where I'm at and where I came from and just be grateful to be here. So that's my genuine consensus on things.

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and find Juni at a Target near you. Yeah, you obviously have a hard work ethic and a drive, which is what you've talked about with sports and that discipline. Walk us through the discipline of being a Victoria's Secret model, like the diet, the workout, the plan, the day, like the hour. What does that look like? Because I think often, again, that's another thing you don't ever see. Yeah. So you don't really know. Yeah, so when I first started doing Victoria's Secret,

I was very young and I was very lucky because I didn't have to work out that hard and I didn't have to diet because I was 18 and six feet tall. So you can imagine how lucky I was in terms of that sort of stuff. But then obviously as I was starting to grow up and mature as a woman in that arena, I did have to start working out. There was a time where I was like, okay, well, if I want to be in the best shape of my life for this one really important day, then I'm going to take it, I'm going to step it up a notch. So there was some preparation.

Probably when I was like 21 to 22, I started amping it up in terms of like the exercise and diet and stuff like that when we were training for the show. But you know, there was such a sometimes there's such a negative connotation in terms of talking about those things. Because I think a lot of people have maybe an unhealthy perspective of it because Victoria's Secret wasn't inclusive. And it wasn't a welcome space for everybody. It was welcome for women who were six feet tall and naturally slim. And then they were really fit on top of that. So if you're an outsider looking in, it looks like a really, well, not everybody

looks like that. And I don't see myself there. Yeah, fair enough. Sometimes even I didn't see myself there, you know? So I had to train hard to get there. But I always tried to be as healthy as I could with it and keep a positive outlook on it. For me personally, in my journey and how I went about training for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, I sort of looked at it like maybe an athlete would. I'm not an athlete, obviously, but the level of training that I would do and the diets I would be on, if a footballer came in and started talking about his diet, people would accept it, I think, because he is an athlete. But if I come in and say how I was working out and what I was eating because I'm a six foot tall,

naturally slim woman, I think it could be taken negatively and misconstrued, but I just wanna assure people that I did do it healthy. I was very healthy when I was doing it. This is my natural physique. I know that everybody doesn't look like this and not everybody can relate to that. And that's, I hear you and I see you

and I hope you don't take anything that I say and misinterpret it and say like, to look like her, I have to do this. No, don't do that. You know, do what you need to do and for you and your body. And when I was training for that, I did what I needed to do for my body. So I can get into that. I did a lot of like, HIIT cardio training. So I had a personal trainer who's amazing.

Christina, she's near and dear to my heart. She's so intelligent. She has, you know, a nutrition background as well. So she was making sure that I was eating the amount of food I should be eating for the exercise that I was doing. And so we sort of did like a mix of things. It was weightlifting. I love weightlifting. It's really fun.

I also, I'm a crazy person. Like I love exercise. I love fitness. I like working out. It's like, it's really, it's good for my mental health. When I work out, I work out because I want to do it for my mind, not for how my body looks. So, but for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show,

obviously I was training for a reason. So I did care about, you know, muscle definition and all that fun stuff. So we did like, you know, weight training, weight lifting. You know, it would be like interval, like we would, you know, sprint on a treadmill and then hold a plank, kind of stuff like that. And I really liked that type of workout because it was,

it was, you know, high energy and going from one thing to the next thing and it was challenging and it kind of sort of reminded me of maybe my gymnastics background and the sports I had done before where they're a little bit more dynamic and you're moving around a lot. And then for diet, I would eat pretty healthy.

Just I would eat like, I would make sure I was gluten-free though, just because I think sometimes gluten can respond in your body in a negative way. So some people, I know some people are gluten-free around the Viet show, be gluten-free for about a month, no alcohol for about a month and a half or so, leading up to the show day, just because alcohol is never going to help you if you're trying to like,'re trying to gain muscle weight. So that was my goal was muscle, never managing or washing my weight.

It was more just about making sure I was eating lean proteins. I had protein shakes in the morning. I would have a gluten-free bagel. I would have eggs, vegetables. I ate chicken breast. I ate sweet potato. I ate sushi, vegetables, I ate chicken breast, I ate sweet potato, I ate sushi rice, fish, I ate all kinds of things like that and making sure that it was enough based off of what

the kind of exercise I was doing. So the trainer that would work with me on my fitness routine, she also worked with me on the food I was consuming. Hey, you need to make sure you're consuming. Before you see me, you need to eat this amount. And then we come and we're going to work out and we're going to do this. And then you go home and you have this protein shake. So we know you're getting the right nutrients

that you need to fuel your body. So yeah, hopefully. Very, yeah, that was very in depth. I love it. And I asked, Taylor, I genuinely asked because I do think it's an interesting thing around the discipline. And that's why I asked it from that perspective,

because to me, the discipline, the work ethic, the focus, and I'm so happy that it was a healthy journey for you. And I think we're taking into account the fact that it may not be a healthy journey for everyone. And we recognize that, that it can cause challenges for others. Yeah, and I mean, I know that time too. It was difficult for so many, for women watching. And I know like the expectation that was put on women

to look a certain way to, I never want to feel like maybe I was a part of it and perpetuating that just because of the way it was being presented maybe that I was just, like I was just happy to be there again. I was just like, whoa, I'm so excited to get to be here. But I know what it meant to society. I know what people perceived it as for sure.

So I do take that into account. And I know it's a lot. And I hope people can maybe listen to me in my perspective and know I was really healthy in the way that I was trying to do this and go about this. And I never want to perpetuate that somebody should do something or work out a certain way to look like a Victoria's Secret model because that's not fair and not everybody needs to

look like that. That's not what's beautiful. Beauty is so much more than what people were trying to make us believe it was at that time. So just wanted to put that out there. I'm glad you clarified that. I do think you made a really interesting point though. I think what's interesting, for example, like I love watching basketball. I am I have nowhere near the physique of any basketball player on the planet.

There's no one my size who plays basketball in high physique, whatever else it may be. And if you saw I don't play basketball, but if I was to try and play basketball when I was younger, I was great at a three pointer because I didn't need to like beat anyone or whatever. But it's, I would never be expected to do what someone does on the court. It's really interesting how the industry is then projected onto people thinking they have to be that. Whereas I can watch basketball knowing I never have to be there.

And I think that's the part, which is so interesting that it's almost like a interesting pressure that if it becomes about beauty, it sets an unfair standard. But if it's about sports, like you just said, in one sense, you were training yourself like an athlete. But we know, I know I can't be Tom Brady or I know I can't be LeBron James. Me neither. Yeah, and I'm okay about that.

I also can't be Adriana Lima, because that woman was amazing. And Giselle, I mean, they trained so much harder than even me. I did my best, but you know, I did what I knew I was comfortable and able and capable of doing. But they're them, and they're their own person, and they train in their own way. And I did it my way too, so... Yeah, no, no, no. And I hope anyone who's listening, like the reason why I wanted to open up that conversation is because it's

also interesting to hear from someone who just loves what they do is excited about it. And then naturally, there's this bigger thing going on in society and culture and industry. And it's like, you might just be doing your thing and not know at a time when, you know, you don't realize it. How did you feel about when it stopped? And now of course we know it's coming back and the plan is to be more inclusive.

I'm really glad that it's coming back in a different way and from a different lens and a different perspective because I think, you know, I'm so happy. I still work with Victoria's Secret and I've been a part of the brand for 10 years. And I've seen the shift that they've made and the changes that they're trying to make. And to me, it's a little relaxing, a bit of a breath of fresh air because now I'm at a different phase in my life where maybe I don't want to work out like that anymore.

When I was younger and it was exciting to do so, then sure, I could definitely, I was, let's do this. But 10 years later, and also I haven't done that show in how many years now? How long has it been since the last one? So five years maybe, maybe four, maybe more, I don't know. I feel when it comes back, I am excited that it's going to be so different. But also, I hope that we can still maintain some of the fun, some of the glamour, some of the beauty.

Because I think reclaiming it for ourselves as women is really important. Because if you want to feel sexy and you want to be sexy, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But you want to do it for yourself, not for the objectification of what men want. And I think that's the difference now. And I think that's definitely the goal with the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show coming back is to make sure that women are doing it. We're comfortable.

They ask me, what wings would you want to wear? And are you excited about doing this? And, you know, what do you want to see when the show comes back? And I really appreciate that. You know, I value that they're asking how I feel and, you know, what I would like to see as a woman doing it, as a woman who's done it before, and, you know, will probably do it again. So I'm just, I'm excited that it's gonna be very different.

And I hope that it can be perceived in a way that's not setting an unrealistic beauty standard because that's 100% what it was. And maybe some of that expectation was put on me, but I didn't realize it at the time because I was so young. Again, you don't know what you don't know. And now that I'm 28, you know, 10 years later from my first show, if I look back on my first show,

it's kind of like, I'm sure so many women who were at that show felt such an intense pressure to look a certain way and work out a certain way. And that's probably why some people had an unhealthy relationship with it. And maybe just the timing of my age and where I was at and where my headspace was at, I got really lucky that I didn't feel any of those things. But that doesn't mean it still wasn't happening for other people. And that doesn't mean that it didn't make society

or other women watching it feel that way. So like, you know, I just, I hope that... It's really well said. Yeah, there's definitely both. They could both sit with me. So... Yeah. Everyone who's listening or watching, I can definitely...

I definitely hear what you're saying and I can see how much of a... It's such a complicated, complex layered topic when it's personal but collective. It's hard to kind of verbalize and talk about something because it is very complex. So how do I put that into words? But I do see both and it's weird.

Two things can be true at the same time. You know what I mean? Sometimes emotions are parallel and they're really just happening. One's happening here and one is also happening and you're going on the same path and you're going to the same place and you're feeling two different things

at the exact same time. So I look back on it and I have new emotions that sit alongside the old ones and the joy and like the wow that I felt there. But then I can see how everything happened and I can see the heaviness and I can understand like I see where maybe by me talking so positively about it makes other people feel a negative way. Like I would never want to make somebody feel like that. So I have to acknowledge that and be like, okay, I know, I see now we like, we've, we were like, we were

the early 2000s, we were in this bubble of this thing and it popped and now we can see clearly and I see it. So I get it. But you know, also, if I'm going to talk about my personal experience, while I was in it, it was, I did have a great time. And I, I personally went about it and what I feel like was as healthy as I could possibly be, like, trust me, I was eating, I was working out, I was doing, I was doing all the things like I should be doing to make sure that I'm not, you know, being unhealthy and having like a negative thing that was happening in my mind and my body. So,

well, I really appreciate that kind of the way you've presented that, because I think there's so much truth to it. And I think if anything, it helps us become more aware of, Hey, let's try and be aware of bubbles, but by the nature of a bubble, you not aware of it until it pops. And so when it pops, then we all become aware of it. And then all of a sudden, so it's almost like we've got to give ourselves grace. We've got to give others grace.

We've got to give everyone time and space to kind of understand and grow and rise together. Yeah. Because, and this doesn't just apply to the beauty industry or the modeling industry. This applies to so many industries across the world where I think there's a need for collective grace on both sides. And then rising together. And I completely agree with you. I think you're allowed to have your own experience. I almost think about it sometimes to do with entrepreneurship too.

Like a lot of people will be like, entrepreneurship is really tough. It's really hard work. And there's the hustle culture of you have to work 18 hours a day and you have to do this and you have to do that. And I always say to people, like, if I'm completely honest, for the first two years of my career, three 18 hours a day, and you have to do this and you have to do that. And I always say to people, like, if I'm completely honest, for the first two years of my career, three years of my career, I did work 18 hours a day, and I'm really happy I did. Like, it was amazing, and I'm really grateful.

And yes, some parts of it were unhealthy, but it allowed me to get to where I wanted to get to in order to put things in place to be more healthy. And that's my personal experience of it. And that's not right or wrong or the best way or the worst way. It's just how it's worked for me. And you could look at that and be like, oh, well, 18 hours is a hustle culture and there's no balance.

And I'm like, but it's... Each of us have got to find what's comfortable and natural for us. And you're allowed to have your own experience and also recognize that there's negatives within it. Yeah. Because you, you know, you're working those 18-hour days and when you realize, well, maybe I shouldn't be doing that.

Or you have maybe this realization of, maybe I should have more balance in my life. Maybe I should do this. Oh, okay. Like then you can maybe fix it and grow from it and change and not do that anymore. But doesn't mean that when you were doing it, you were, you know, having a terrible time.

Maybe you were having fun and you're just excited that you get to do this work and all that stuff. And then you can look back on it and be like, well, I was actually some more overwhelmed than I thought I was. Oh, OK. Like that's I that's what that was because sometimes you feel these things and some new emotions that you've never felt before and you can't pinpoint what it is exactly until you hear somebody else say it or there's a new topic of discussion where people are like, do you guys ever feel this?

And then you're like, I do feel that. What is that? And then you discover, oh, it's burnout. You're like, oh, see, there was never a word for it before. That's what that is. So it's just like acknowledging and recognizing something and then being like, okay, well, we're not going to do that anymore. But I did do it. So, you know, we're not going to do that.

Yeah, it's so true. I mean, I think about that when I was young, I used to have certain physical sensations or experiences in my heart space, in my chest space, and I would go to the doctors, I would tell my mom, and we'd go get checked out. The doctors had no clue. They were like, you're absolutely fine. Yeah. And now I look back, I'm like, oh, I had anxiety. Oh, I would tell my mom and we'd go get checked out. The doctors had no clue. They were like, you're absolutely fine.

And now I look back and I'm like, oh, I had anxiety. Oh, I had panic attacks. I had no idea. And no one ever used that language. I saw multiple doctors. No one ever said it to me. And so I just moved on with life and got on with it and became better at dealing with it.

And now I look back and I'm like, oh, now there's a word for it. And now we can label it and talk about it. But I didn't know then. And there's been definitely times in my life where I've been in denial that I've been in stress or burnout. And then I look back and I'm like, oh, now I can notice it. But at that time I just needed to push through or whatever it may be.

But I've been talking about this and talking about relate relevant emotional experiences. I was talking to you about my friend earlier and you were talking to me about the experience you went through. You shared this on social media. and emotional experiences. Uh, I was talking to you about my friend earlier and you were talking to me about the experience you went through. You shared this on social media. You talked about the loss of Tate and the grief you've experienced, which is what's led to Tate and Taylor, which is this incredible new platform and company

that's supporting so many people walk. I want to talk about what you've built and the passion and the purpose behind it. But let's talk about the grief of losing a friend. Because that's really what this is. A really dear friend. Walk me through those nine years and the amazing relationship you built with Tate. Yeah. When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful. That's where The Bright Side comes in. A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine

that's bringing you a daily dose of joy. I'm Danielle Robay. And I'm Simone Boyce. Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters. We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy. But The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new, and get into some friendly debates. That's right! Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the Brightside. We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you. Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions,

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A new season of Bridgerton is here. And with it, a new season of Bridgerton the official podcast. I'm your host Gabrielle Collins and this season we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton. Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad. Is betrothal written in the stars for the eligible bachelor? Meanwhile, the ton is reverberating with speculation of who holds Lady Whistledown's pen. We're discussing it all. I sit down with Nicola Coughlin, Luke Newton, Shonda Rhimes, and more to offer an exclusive peek behind the scenes of each episode of the new season. Watch season 3 of the Shondaland series on Netflix.

Then, fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton the Official Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday. Tate, oh my angel. I got Tate when I was 18. So it was really kind of in the mix of all this my life changing, you know, I booked the Victoria Secret Fashion Show not very long after I Tate came into my life and we went we walked through life together for nine years and he was my best friend and

Gosh it's so hard to put it into words because it's such a unique thing to have a deep relationship with an animal and it sounds, I hope I don't sound crazy. I'm going to sound a little crazy, but like, I just feel like the love that, you know, dogs and animals in general have for humans is so unconditional, you know, and they have no judgment. They don't want anything from you but your love back. And it's so pure and it's so innocent. It's almost childlike in a way, you know, when I can only imagine, you know, when you hold a newborn baby for the first time, that immediate connection that you feel to this thing that you can't even talk yet

and is just a part of you. It's really special to have such a deep connection to something that literally wants nothing from you except for also like unconditional love. So to have Tate come into my life at that time was so special just because so much was changing. You know, I was growing up, I was, you know, becoming a young woman from a girl to a woman and he was there for that. And, you know, I was traveling all the time and I was away from family and I just had this little tiny innocent soul with me that just always looked at me like,

you're the best and I love you. And Tate taught me so much. He taught me responsibility, caring for something other than myself, taking care of him, you know, pouring love into him and making sure that he was good and, you know, even well behaved and training him and doing all those things is showing him an act of love and making sure that he's a confident, comfortable dog. He could be in any scenario and he was the best boy. And I think he also kind of knew that I was just kind of out there winging it a bit and he was like, Oh God, this girl, this girl has no idea what she's doing. So I'm going to have to be a good boy now.

And he just I really sometimes feel like he did teach himself how to just be everywhere with me all the time. And I think that he was meant for me and he was meant to be in my life. And I think that we were sort of made for each other and we belonged to each other. And, you know, he was so... It sounds crazy to say this about a dog, but he was so emotional. His eyes were so human. He could look at me and I knew what he was saying or what he was thinking. I felt that he could feel what I was thinking or what I was feeling. And I definitely think that he also taught me a lot about emotion and being, what's that

saying? Be the person your dog thinks you are. They think you're great. They're like, I love you no matter what. Yes, mom, yes. So that's the energy they give you, right? It's like, oh, you're the best. And it's just like, am I the best? But to have something, you know, this little creature just look at you and think you're the best. It kind of makes you want to

be the best, right? You know, constantly trying to grow and be better and change and, you know, nobody's perfect and no one will ever be perfect. And we're always learning and we're always growing and we're always changing. But having something to do that for and having some someone to do that with is, is really, it's different, you know, like it's more intentional, right? So trying to be better because Tate thinks I'm the best is a different motivation. So he definitely was there for me through so much of my life

and so much of my life changing. I think from 18 to 27 are pretty formative years. I'm not a doctor, but someone told me once that your brain stops developing at 25 or something. So, you know, he was there. Oh, sorry, I hit the mic. I talked with my hands.

He was there from when I had an undeveloped brain to a developed brain, you know? He kind of just saw me through. And he was just the best. I mean, the love of my life. I mean, my soulmate really because he just knew, you know, and I've never had a connection with anyone like that that I've had with Tate. So I'm just, I'm really grateful that he was in my life. He's the inspiration behind me even wanting to start a pet company just because I love him so much and I know other people have felt that before. People who've had you know what

I like to call a soul dog. They know what I'm talking about you know they know that feeling and when I shared that I lost Tate, people who've you know been on my journey with me and been maybe following me for a bit know the day I got him and maybe saw him on my Instagram all the time. I mean, he was probably in every single picture on my Instagram for nine years. So I feel like people felt like they knew him. And when I shared that he was sick,

and then when I ultimately shared that he had passed, the overwhelming amount of support and messages that I got and also shared experiences that I received from I lost my soul dog 10 years ago and I still think about them every single day. It made me feel less alone and maybe kind of strange for feeling this way about a dog because you get you know, you get both. You get, I got amazing, overwhelming comments that were just overwhelmingly positive. I mean, just, you know, I know what you've, what you're going through.

I went through this, you know, just remember he's always with you. If you know, I got messages like that that touched me so deeply and positively and I just felt so grateful that I got those messages. But then of course you get the flip side where people don't understand, they're like, oh, it's a dog, what's the big deal?

Oh, it's a dog, move on. I'll never move on from Tate's death. My grief will change for sure. My perspective of his death will change. And it has even since I lost him. It's devastating and it's heartbreaking. And to anyone who's felt that, I know what that feels like. And don't let anybody rush you.

Some people don't understand that it's just because this is a dog and you know not a person it doesn't mean that they don't deserve the same amount of time and space and energy you would give to grieving anything else. So I would just say you know take your time and you're not alone and it's alone and it's not a fun thing to go through at all. So I think I'll always miss Tate. I don't see how I can't. And I think to say, to get over something is such a harsh way of saying it because I'll probably never get over it. I'll never really get over losing Tate. I can heal from it and I can find peace with it. But those are two completely different things, getting over it. How do you get over that?

It's not something that, it's not an object in my way. He's a part of me and he's no longer here. So, yeah, I definitely think losing a pet is tough. And, you know, losing one that you have such a deep, strong connection with that's been with you for so many things with no expectation from you, other than just they want to be there with you is, that's a tough loss and a tough thing to work through. So.

Thank you for sharing that. Like I was saying to you, I've had two friends recently who've both lost pets that they were, dogs that they were close to for many, many years. And I've been talking to them and when this opportunity came up to talk to you, I was thinking about you and then thinking about them. And I can't wait to share this conversation with them because it's, I don't think there's anyone

who has a pet that they're deeply close to that sees it as a loss that's different of any kind. And why would you when that person has been there with you through all these experiences? Walk us through like, what is it like when you get that call or you have that meeting with the vet or the doctor that goes, this is the condition that Tate has and please tell us a bit about the condition and that experience.

Because I feel like to me, when I think about grief and loss, it's like that point in the journey is so pivotal to everything that comes after it, because it's like the first time it really hits you that this may not last. Yeah. And also it can dictate your journey and how you're grieving, why you're grieving. So Tate was diagnosed with T-cell lymphoma and you know, he was acting strangely probably less than a month before his diagnosis. It was little things, very subtle things and almost things that were already kind of things

that he had been doing before, but they were just a little bit more frequent or a little bit more extreme. And I was like, well, that's really weird. So Tate had a very sensitive stomach. He would always sometimes, I don't wanna say the word throw up, but sorry guys, if you're triggered by that.

He would throw up his food sometimes and it didn't always sit well with him. He already had digestion problems from when he was a puppy, but probably a couple weeks before his cancer diagnosis, he was still throwing up food. He was like drinking water excessively, like drinking a lot of water. He seemed very, very thirsty. And then when I ultimately was like, okay, something is really, really wrong. It was incontinence. So he was peeing in the bed at night, which was he never did that. He was such a good boy. I was like, he would never do this intentionally. So I took him to the doctor and I was like, something is wrong.

He's, you know, it's not strange or abnormal that he's throwing up his food, but it's strange that he threw up water yesterday and it's strange that he peed in the bed. And I don't think that those are normal things. So, you know, they're doing blood tests, his calcium levels are off. I don't remember in what way, just because honestly, it's all a bit of a blur, because it was a very emotional time. But I do remember his calcium levels. There was something wrong there.

So they did another test that was a bit more of a deep dive into that. They were like, OK, yeah, this is a problem. We should probably do an x-ray. So that was a week ago. So now it's a week later and getting these appointments and seeing the doctors, it's just sometimes not always easy. Even in dogs, even in veterinary circumstances, it's really sometimes similar to human doctors. It's just getting these appointments and getting in to see it's like, well, something is wrong. Can we just do this now? Why are we sitting

here and waiting? He doesn't feel good. So we go in for the x-ray and, you know, sure enough they find a mass in his shoulder and his lymph node near her shoulder and they're like, okay, well, we think it's lymphoma. So, you know, you need to take them to an oncologist. And you know, these are the oncologists that we recommend. I'm calling every hospital in New York that I possibly can to see, you know, who can I take him to right away? Everyone was, you know, this was maybe May, everyone was like, our next appointment isn't until June 16th. Our next appointment isn't until July 16th. I'm like, okay, well, my dog was just diagnosed with cancer or what they think to be is cancer.

I can't imagine that he can wait until June or July. And I don't really know what to do next. So he starts getting worse and he's not eating anymore and he has no appetite and he can't keep even water down. So my husband actually takes him to the vet. I'm out of town when this is happening and she says he's in a really bad state. He's severely dehydrated.

You need to take him to the emergency room right now. And they'll check him into the ICU and then maybe then he'll be seen by an oncologist. And I was like, why didn't you tell me that before? Oh my God, I would have done that a week ago. Even though he wasn't in a state of emergency, we think he has cancer. We think he has T cell lymphoma. That's very aggressive.

So my husband takes him to the emergency room and sure enough, they do. They check him into the ICU. He's, you know, very severely dehydrated. He's very weak. He hasn't eaten in like two days and he's on a wait list to see an oncologist that day. And wow, remembering all this is hard because I wasn't in town. This was happening. And I get these calls that Tate's in the emergency room,

Tate's in the ICU, I'm not there, I'm petrified. I'm gonna lose him, I'm not gonna be there. And he's seen by the oncologists, they do all the tests, they do all the scans. Yes, he does have T cell lymphoma. It's throughout his entire body. He has multiple masses on multiple lymph nodes and he definitely doesn't have much more time left. So I get home as soon as I can. I'm in the ICU with him.

And all this is happening days before our wedding, actually. I was in the hospital with him on a Monday and on Thursday. I was meant to fly back home to Colorado to get married. And I'm in New York in the hospital In the ICU with Tate and you know, I'm looking at him and I'm asking him like if you if you need to go Please let me know like I will let you go, you know, like I don't want to make him do anything that He doesn't want to do because sometimes I feel like when you're dealing with a sick animal We can be quite selfish and I want him to be there and I want him to be okay and I want him to be at my

wedding and all these things that I want. But what about him? He doesn't feel good. He's sick. He's in the hospital. So Tate was at the Animal Medical Center in New York, the Schwarzman Animal Medical Center. And a lot of what we do at Tate and Taylor is I have a whole cancer, like a FUT Cancer merch collection line where 100% of the profit that we make goes back to a fund that they have at the Animal Medical Center called the Buddy Fund. And what the Buddy Fund does is help subsidize the cost or cover the cost in total of chemotherapy and cancer treatments and pets. It's an incredible program and it's an incredible hospital and a part of my journey and story with Tate, so much of it has to do with

the amazing, the oncology department at the Animal Medical Center is amazing. They're the largest nonprofit hospital in the world and they have so many amazing programs there. They're the largest nonprofit hospital in the world and they have so many amazing programs there. They're a teaching hospital. So it's a really great place. Tate was in the best hands when he was there. And while even though I was going through something quite emotional and a turbulent time of is he going to make it to one of the most special days of my life, or is he not, I had an amazing doctor there. She was so supportive. She was about to get married.

She was getting married a week after me. So she was, I have a dog. And she was like, I can't imagine what you're feeling right now. I mean, she's like, I can't imagine what you're feeling right now, you know. Getting married, your dog in the hospital, this is your baby, and he might not be there.

So the oncology team was so amazing with Tate and with me. They did everything in their power. They're like, well, we think we should start the CHOP protocol, which is what he started. And he started responding to it really positively. So that was a small segue cut back to, you know, I'm looking at Tate, I'm like, please tell me, like, do you want to fight this? Like, are you going to stick it out? You don't have to do that. You don't have to come.

I know I want you to, but I need to do what's best for you. And after I, you know, said this to him, he, it's, you know, he's going in to have a feeding tube put in because he's not eating and he's about to start the trot protocol. They want to make sure he has nutrients in his body. So they put a feeding tube in so that they can start administering nutrients to him and immediately flipped. He went from looking like he was on death's doorstep to Tate. He was wagging his tail. He was energetic. He was, you know, doing it. He was him. I

was like, it was the next day and this was Wednesday. I'm supposed to leave Thursday for the wedding. I was, my mind was blown. I was like, oh my god, I can't believe it. I was like, Tate, are you lying to me right now? What are you doing? What is this? All of a sudden, he knew, he knew he wanted to be there. I asked him, I was like, do you, what do you need? What do you want?

They, they, you know, put the feeding to him in, they're administering his first dose of the CHOP protocol and you know, he's able to get some nutrients in his body. He's a different dog. I'm like, okay, this dog wants to fight this for me. He wants to pull through right now. So he does make it to the wedding. It was an amazing, beautiful experience

to be able to share that with him because literally every person who he's ever loved and who has ever loved Tate was there. And they got to say goodbye to him, you know, as not to sound morbid, but it is. It's in a way sort of cancer in dogs is it's not curable. They don't live much longer than maybe a year. You know, sometimes in some cases too, like it's different. You know, they treat dogs to live the best quality of life that they can for the rest of their lives

until they get to a point where it's okay, well, it's their time. So it was a way for people to say goodbye to him because we knew he wouldn't be around for much longer. We didn't know how much longer, but it wasn't gonna be much longer. And it was really special. My best friend from my childhood, someone I've known since I was five years old, he

was a, what did I call him? My man of honor. And he walked him down the aisle and it was really special. And people were crying and everyone was hugging Tate and kissing Tate. It was so special for me to be able to see and feel the love for him, knowing what he had gone through and what we were going through. And it felt like, it truly felt like a miracle

that he made it there and that he was there that day. So then, you know, we get back to New York and he's, you know, he's on maybe number two or three of his doses. It's a 16 week process, and we were probably only on like week two. And so because he had T cell lymphoma, it's very aggressive and it adapts in the body really quickly. And since Tate had tumors throughout his entire body, we didn't know how he would respond to it.

He was nine years old, so he was older, but he wasn't old. Old, I guess. So the doctors were like, well, we're not really sure. He's nine. It's old, but he's still energetic. He's still quite youthful. We're going to kind of play it by ear and see how this goes. And then it was, we were in New York for maybe about a week, 10 days or so, and he started to get really, really bad again, really bad. We take him back to the emergency room. He's back in the ICU and they're doing all the blood work and the tests and checking on him.

The cancer in his body had adapted to the chemotherapy treatments and it was attacking his kidneys now. And essentially, you know, his doctor said, if he doesn't pass from the cancer, he'll pass from kidney failure. So right now we're in a position where there's not much more we can do and he's not comfortable. He's in a lot of pain. He's very sick. She said, it's completely up to you and I can't tell you what to do. All I can tell you is where he's at, the condition of his health right now is not good. So we ultimately have to come to the decision to let Tate go because I don't want him to

live like that. That's so selfish, I think, to try to keep treating him when he's... Yeah, he's, yeah, he's not, he shouldn't be, you know? So we were able to make an appointment with a doctor that does humane euthanization in home so that Tate could be with me, my husband, and we were in our home together and we got to hold him. He didn't have to go back to the hospital because going there was a scary thing for

him. I could tell it was stressful because that's where they would take him away from me and I knew he wanted to be with me. He was very attached to me. I didn't want to have to take him back there. I didn't want him to have to pass in that environment Not to speak negative. It wasn't a negative space at all. It was actually very happy It was a very beautiful space. The doctors were amazing there and it was it was both it was

Tough because it was what we were going through was so difficult, but they were so They were so amazing there. They were so positive. Their energy was so great. So it wasn't that it was a dark, scary place. It was just, I want him to feel as comfortable as possible. And I know that by him walking in there, he would be like, oh no, I'm in this place again. They're gonna take me away from you, mom.

So I didn't wanna bring him back there and have to, you know, his last moments be in a place where he didn't know what was going to happen to him. So we did it at home. And it was really special that I got to hold him and, you know, comfort him and be with him. That was the most important thing to me. I was like, I absolutely have to be there.

Like, I have to be there. And I think he knew that and I think he wanted me to be there and he waited so that we could do it together and we could be together. And it's a tough thing, you know, like having to, you know, witness someone die is not fun. Especially him, you know, for me, he was everything to me. And just based off of that experience that I have with him, I know so many people probably

have felt that way, have been in a similar situation, and I know it's really hard going through that. So I'm grateful for the way that everything happened with me, with Tate. It's so crazy. They know, like they know. They're these spiritual beings, I think animals, they're more spiritual than us. They have so much more, they have different types of consciousness, I think, than people do. He knew what I needed and he knew what, how I him to go and he he like he really did that for me and It was really even though it was really tough

It was really also beautiful at the same time to be able to hold him in his last moments And he was there for me for every single moment. I got to be there for him in this moment I knew he didn't feel fear, he didn't feel pain. I held him in my arms and I was, you know, just I got to hold him. So he was very, I know he was comfortable and I felt that with him and that's why I wanted to be there so I just could make sure that he felt

nothing but comfort and no pain and just happiness and love. Like he could feel my love. So that's sort of the story of Tate and his illness and his cancer and sort of what we went through. And treating cancer is so expensive, even with insurance. And part of why the Buddy Fund is something that we're so passionate about and why I feel like I want Tate and Taylor as a brand to be really cause driven and have an initiative and have a purpose and have a reason behind it is because of,

you know what I went through with Tate? I started building Tate and Taylor with him, not knowing that any of this would happen. And then before we even got to launch and start the company publicly, I lost him and it shifted sort of a lot of the drive and some of the purpose that we have. And having to decide between

having a financial burden and being in a place where you may or may not be able to financially care for your pet and those last precious moments, the ones that even I know I got to have with Tate, those last few weeks with him were the best weeks ever in my memory of my life with him because he got to come to my wedding. He was back to himself for a little bit. These like special little things and times that we shared together, they were so important in how I was able to heal going forward once I did lose him. So I think being able to help support people who are going through this with their pets and go through cancer and that journey and that path and what that looks like is something I really,

I have such a passion for and something I really wanna be able to help because I went through all of this with him and I know what that feels like and I know what that pain is and what that weight feels like and what the grief feels like. How can I be there for other people and how can I help other people who are going through this?

So they never have to think about that. And that's why we picked the Buddy Fund just because of the experience that I have with Tate at AMC and I know so many people who've had that experience. And I spoke with Tate's oncologist, Dr. Rachel Lordal. And we posted it on the Tate and Taylor Instagram. And I got a couple of comments that were like, I love Dr. Rachel. She was there for me with my dog.

And she's amazing. And so people feel it from them, from that place. And that fund is so impactful because when you're going through something like that, you have to worry about whether or not you can afford care and whether or not you can even get that extra time and just see how they're even going respond to treatment. I mean I can't even I don't even want to... nobody wants to have to go there and make that decision so I got so much support when I lost Tate and I just want to do everything I can to support others because I know other people go through this and there

are people in that position and it breaks my heart to even think that somebody would have to go through. Yeah, I just, I can't, it's hard to verbalize that pain because I can so clearly visualize what that feeling could be and having to make that decision. And I got to make it when I did with Tate and I'm so grateful that I was able to do that.

And I just wanna be able to share, to like give that back, give that time, give it to others. Like how can I help give people more time with their soulmates, I guess. Taylor, thank you so much for opening up so intimately about that journey. And I remember seeing the beautiful and amazing pictures and memories you shared with Tate on social media and but to hear the actual journey behind it just thank you so much for being so open and giving and I'm very confident that I mean I haven't lost a pet or a dog and I don't know what that feels like, but even just sitting here listening to you, I know that anyone who

has or anyone who may do so in the future will have this to turn to as a way of connecting with and to humanize their experience and also validate their experience of how deeply they love. Yeah. This friend in their life. And I wanted to ask you, what would you, two questions, what would you, for anyone who is grieving the loss of a pet friend, a dog, like what would you want them to know about the grieving process?

And the second question is, if someone has a friend or family member that's going through it, what would you like them to know in order to offer help or support to that person? I would say if you're going through this loss and you're coping with this type of grief, I think patience. Just be patient with yourself. Feel it, you know? Grief is

like an ocean. Sometimes it's relentless. Sometimes it's calm. Sometimes the waves are huge and crashing. Sometimes it's completely still and beautiful and peaceful and you know, you're able to just float. So wherever you're at, whatever your ocean is doing, just feel it because one moment it'll feel really calm and you'll feel a sense of perspective, maybe a sense of peace. And then there'll be a memory or you'll be in a situation where it brings something back up

and then the waves come crashing in and that's okay. Sometimes I'm almost a year to the day that I lost hate and I'm not fully healed yet and I think that's going to take maybe a couple more years to even feel like I can say I'm healed from that. I don't think I can ever, I don't think anyone ever necessarily moves on. And I think if they hear the words move on, don't take that, let that roll right off you because that's not what maybe they mean. To move on, you may never move on,

but to heal is different. To heal a wound so it no longer opens is a different thing. And I would say to make sure that you're doing the steps and taking care of yourself in the way you need to to heal, because it is a wound, you know, how would you go about if you broke your arm, you know, you would go to the doctor, you would, you know, set it in a cast, you would do all these steps to make sure your arm could work again. So I think that losing someone is sort of, it's a wound. It's an internal wound. It breaks something in our spirit. So it's not something you can see, but it's something that needs addressing. It's something

that needs help. It needs time. However you need to do that and whatever your process looks like to deal with healing. Just, and if you don't know how to do that, I think talking to someone, I think anyone, it doesn't even have to be a therapist, you know, because I know a lot of people like to say, go to therapy. Some people don't have access to therapy yet, and that's okay, but talking about it, you know, if there's someone you can relate to, if you can find anyone in your life who will listen and help, help you grieve and, you know, talk it, talk through it with you, writing about it,

talking to yourself about it, if you prefer writing or journaling or I think there's a couple of different ways to get started in terms of, well, I don't even know how to heal. What does that mean, Taylor? Where do I start? What's the process look like? It's different for everyone. But I think, you know, knowledge is power and learning. And if you don't know where to start, you can talk to someone and maybe ask a couple

of questions or ask yourself questions or write things out and start really small and start there. And then hopefully, you can start growing on that and expanding on, okay, well, this is what it means to heal. This is my process. This is how I'm going to do this. And find the tools that work for you or create the tools that work for you. Who knows? It's different for everybody. It's different for everybody.

So however that looks like to you, whatever that feels like to you, as long as you're doing what you need to do to ultimately heal from it, I think that's a really great place to start is just to start thinking about it from there. Don't worry about moving on or getting over it, or if the emotions are stronger sometimes than others,

it can be really unexpected, you know? It hits you like a wave some days and that's okay. Feel it, sit there, write about it, think about it. I mean, if you want to ignore it for a little bit, you can, but you know, make sure you're always coming back to it and acknowledging it and addressing it. And then you can sort of like let it go and be like, okay, I see you, I hear you, I feel you. We're gonna acknowledge that emotion and then we can let it go.

And then I think that's like, those are really good ways to kind of start. Guess what, Mango? What's that, Will? So iHeart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast, Part-Time Genius. I know, that's why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion.

It's about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years, and it's called Earthquake House. Mango, Mango, I'm going to cut you off right there. Why don't we just tell people about our show instead? Yeah, that's a better idea. So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world's most important questions. Things like, when did America start dialing 911?

Is William Shatner's best acting work in Esperanto? Also, what happened to Esperanto? Plus, we cover questions like, how Chinese is your Chinese food? How do dollar stores stay in business? And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese? There absolutely is, and we are risking our lives by talking about it. But if you love mind-blowing facts, incredible history, and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune into Part-Time Genius. Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, everyone, this is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts. It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting. Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more. We're back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult one life lesson at a time.

And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you. So let's figure this stuff out together. This season, we're going to talk about whether or not we're financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership. We're going to figure out the benefits of a high yield savings account.

And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party? All that plus so much more. Let's learn about all of it and then some. Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. -♪ Grown up stuff. -♪

When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence. Radios were smashed, cassettes burned. and music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence. Radios were smashed, cassettes burned. You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules. And yet Afghans did it anyway. This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan

by creating their own version of American Idol. The danger they endured. They said my head should be cut off. The joy they there to destroy you. I'm John Legend. Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Healing. Thank you for sharing that. And I loved what you were saying about people discovering their own tools,

discovering their own way, not feeling like there has to be a set formula. And even listening to this conversation, and I do think, I've been encouraging a lot of my friends to reach out to other people who've gone through similar experiences because not that your healing will look the same, but that it feels necessary to sit with other people who you feel see you, hear you, understand you. And my friend told me something beautiful about grief that I don't think I'll ever forget. They said to me that grief is like a stone and you carry it in your pocket and you'll always notice it.

You will feel it. You know, it's there, but as time goes on, you get stronger. And so as you get stronger, it's not that the stone goes away. It's just that it gets lighter. And so it's lighter to carry, but it doesn't mean it's going away. You didn't move on. You didn't have to get over it. It doesn't disappear. It doesn't get smaller's going away, you didn't move on, you didn't have to get over it, it doesn't disappear,

it doesn't get smaller, it stays the same, you just get stronger so the stone gets lighter. Yeah. And I really appreciated that idea around grief, because it sat true with me that it didn't have to go away, I didn't have to let go of it, I didn't have to forget about it, and that it would always be there. But just as I grow and as I strengthen

and as I become more resilient, it becomes lighter and doesn't weigh on me in the same way as the heavy feeling of grief can in the beginning. Yeah. And so, yeah, thank you. I mean, it sounds like, you know, you shared with me before that there was something you

wanted to share with our community here that you hadn't shared before. And when you mentioned it to me, there's something beautiful you said, and it was this idea of how Tate has actually been with you through another loss in your life. And that's a journey that you haven't shared before. Could you walk us through how Tate was your best friend through that journey too? So about three years ago, I had a miscarriage and I've never spoken about it before, except for obviously to people in my life and my family knows and my close friends know. I've shared it with some people and I do think talking about it is an important thing.

But I've never publicly spoken about it or said that I went through that. And I kind of made the decision that since I'm talking about Tate and I'm starting this business based off of the love that we have for each other and how I want to be there for people. He was there for me in so many ways and how can I you know share that without sharing something that I went through that he was there for me for and in grieving his loss I'm grieving the shared

experiences we've had and learning how to cope with something without him when he was there for me through that time in my life. It was a really strange circumstance under which I had my miscarriage. I had an IUD. I had it for about three years. So obviously, I wasn't actively trying to get pregnant. I didn it for about three years. So I obviously, you know, I wasn't actively trying to get pregnant. I didn't want to get pregnant at all. I was, you know, engaged to my husband and, you know, we were not planning on starting a family probably for, you know,

for a while. So I wasn't in the headspace at all to be pregnant. And I'm not really sure how it happens, because I don't know how that works. I'm not a doctor, and I didn't understand it. And sometimes I still don't understand it, because I'm pretty sure I could be wrong on this. I probably should have looked it up before I came in here so I could say exactly. But it's a really small percentage, a small chance of getting pregnant on an IUD.

It's like less than 1% or something like that, which is still a chance. It can still happen, of course. But crazy things happen to someone. It's like, that'll never happen to me. It happened to me. I got pregnant on an IUD. And I was shocked. It happened to me. I got pregnant on an IUD and I was shocked and I was sad. I didn't want to be pregnant.

I wasn't ready to be pregnant. I didn't understand what it meant to be pregnant with an IUD. I didn't know what that meant. I didn't know what my journey with this pregnancy would look like. I was so scared. I was terrified. And also it was still during COVID. So my husband was in, he wasn't able to be with me. He was in London and he wasn't, you know, kind of not allowed to

travel into the US. So I found he was with me in the beginning of COVID and the pandemic, but because he's British, you know, he was on an ESTA and they were getting people out on tourist visas. So his exception to fly out was so he didn't overstay his ESTA because that's the last thing we wanted. We were, you know, planning on getting married, like we can't get marks on, you know, all that stuff. So he left the country because he had to. And so then we were separated and we were no longer able to be together. I don't think I saw him for maybe another couple of months after that. So he wasn't with me when I found out I was pregnant and that was really hard for both of us because all you want to do when you're

going through something like that as Shocking and unexpected as it was for the both of us is to be there with each other, you know I know he wanted more than anything in the world to hold my hand like Tommy's gonna be okay like hold me and you know, that's all I wanted to and I couldn't be with him and That's all I wanted too and I couldn't be with him. And Tate was with me though. We were together and I'm so grateful that I had him physically to be there with me, physically. My husband was there for me in every way that he possibly could be,

but I had the physical connection, that holding, that comforting, that's something that you need in that space. It was breaking both of our hearts that we didn't have that, couldn't do that. And I think it both gave us like comfort knowing that I had Tate with me for that. I had to go to my doctor's appointments alone.

I went in to make sure that I didn't have and what's called an ectopic pregnancy, which is when the embryo attaches itself in the fallopian tube. My pregnancy was in my uterus, so it was viable. It was technically healthy, but the circumstances and the environment on which I conceived was a bit of a turbulent environment. So my doctor said, we don't really know what's gonna happen here because you know You conceived in an environment where your body is telling you you shouldn't be pregnant because of the IUD because of the hormones the idea is putting into your body and

Also, if we remove it then, you know, we're changing again the environment on which you conceived. So, we don't know 50-50 of whether or not you're going to carry this out. So it was really just a waiting game to see if it would stick or not. And I was given a couple of markers of, come back at about six and a half weeks and we can do internal ultrasound and check everything out and see how it's going. So I'm waiting another week or so I go back in,

they do the internal ultrasound, they're able to hear a heartbeat. And at this point I'm like, oh my gosh, what is happening to me? This is so crazy. I'm going through all these things. I have a photo. I have the picture of the ultrasound.

That's so crazy. It was like this big, you know what I mean? And so I'm at a place in my life where, okay, maybe I wasn't planning to get pregnant and I wasn't, I wasn't ultimately excited about it. At first, I was scared, not excited. I was shocked. I was confused. I was feeling fear. I wasn't feeling joy. But at the same time, I'm going to marry this person. I'm in love with this person. I want to have a family with this person. I'm 20 Was like 25 or was I 24? I think I was 25. I'm 25

That's still young but you know, it's I feel somewhat ready if I was to have a child Okay, so I'm gonna start getting in the headspace now of I think I'm gonna if this pregnancy sticks around like I'm to have a child, okay, so I'm gonna start getting in the head space now of I think I'm gonna, if this pregnancy sticks around, like I'm gonna have a child, okay, oh gosh. So it's like I'm coming to so many different, so many terms of acceptance here where I'm just like, okay, but I can't get too excited because we don't know what's gonna happen. I have to pass all of these milestones

to make sure if this is gonna be a healthy pregnancy or not. So I get to about roughly nine weeks and she's like, okay, well, we're getting closer. She's optimistic that this could be happening. Usually it's about 12 to 14 weeks when you start telling people. So I'm like, oh my God, it's getting closer. Maybe this is is gonna happen. And I'm starting to accept that this is gonna happen. It's still really early though.

So of course, not too excited. I'm not at that check mark yet. And then I start spotting, but it was like, it wasn't bright red, it wasn't blood yet. And so then the doctor was like, well, that's normal. Sometimes that happens. You know, there's spotting with pregnancy. It's just your body adjusting. So, oh, we'll just keep an eye on it.

And about a week goes by and then I start seeing what looks like fresh blood. And that's what she told me to look out for. And that's kind of the early signs of what ultimately will be a miscarriage. So that starts happening. And I'm alone in my house. And at least I have Tate with me. And I call my husband. and I'm just devastated because I know that this is about to happen to me and we're both crying.

And I could just tell he was so heartbroken that he couldn't be there. I think that was really painful for him too, for both of us. And I've never spoken about it either. I think that was really painful for him too, you know, for both of us. And I've never spoken about it either, so like to this extent. So I have with my family, so this is also new for me to do this. It's like reprocessing again. I'm going through the physical reaction of having the miscarriage and it takes some time. You know it's happening while it's happening. It doesn't just happen and then it's done. It takes a long time. It can be painful.

It feels like a period cramps but like your worst period cramps you've ever had. And ultimately it passes and I have to make all these doctor's appointments. I have to make sure everything's okay, make sure I'm healthy and all of that. So right after dealing with this loss, you have to click into this motive. I have to do all these things and I have to make sure I do this and I do that and logistics of getting to the doctor and like making sure and checking and making sure it was clean and everything that needed to pass passed. So I kind of went into take care of it mode. And I just remember feeling so confused because it was really just like a roller coaster of emotion of I didn't even know I didn't even want this.

I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't planning on having a child. I was doing to the best of my ability. The IUD is one of the best forms of birth control, one of the most efficient forms of birth control. I was very confused. I was like, why is this happening? This is so wild. I can't believe this. happening. This is so wild. I can't believe this. I didn't want to necessarily be pregnant. And then, okay, I make past a couple of checkpoints and I'm starting to feel a little like, oh, gosh, this is going to happen. I'm starting to process emotions of coming to terms with this. You do get excited. I wasn't allowing myself to get fully excited

or to be too optimistic about it. I tried to stay as neutral as I possibly could, but it's difficult. You can't control some of these things. I mean, this is what I'm feeling. So I was like, okay, well, oh my gosh, is this happening, like, whoa. So then there's a little bit of excitement

and then some joy because like I want a family, I'm excited to have children. And and then I lose the pregnancy. You know, it was early still like when I lost it. So I wasn't luckily fully in the headspace of, oh my god, this is 100% happening. So in terms of the timeline, I am really grateful that I hadn't fully come to terms with it yet. But I was still really confused because I was like, whoa, processing this emotion of

feeling like, I don't even want this to, maybe this is happening and feeling some excitement and maybe some joy and then, and then loss. It was so strange. And it was just all the things. It was really just two things can be true at once kind of a thing where you feel these emotions that are one is honestly even with some time and some space now and some perspective relief. Wow, the timing wasn't right. Everything happens for a reason.

I wasn't ready to be a mother. I wasn't ready to have a child. I'm absolutely devastated. I'm not a mother and I don't have a child. Well, that makes no sense. How can you feel both of those things? I don't know. They both sit once it's on this side of my brain and once it's on this side of the brain

and they fight with each other. And I don't, and it took me a really long time to understand how to deal with that. I don't know how to talk about this. How do I make this make sense? And I think in terms of miscarriages, sometimes they don't make sense. It doesn't make any sense. And I think a lot of women go through that. I think it's something like one in three women experience miscarriage and some women multiple.

And some women who've never had one like myself, when I first got pregnant, of, we don't, you don't know that that's a possibility, right? So it's, it's like, oh, it can be really exciting. And I think a lot of women when they get pregnant for the first time feel excited and optimistic and hopeful and oh my God, I'm going to have a child right away. So the below of a miscarriage is so devastating. Wait a minute, what? I didn't, what? What happened?

I thought I was having a child. Everyone has a baby. How do people have babies? Like, this is crazy. How is this happening? To be pregnant is such a complicated thing. It's so wild, the fact that we can even get pregnant, you know? And I think it really helped me feel less alone,

knowing that it was something that was quite common and that a lot of women do go through it. But then, you know, something that I felt that was difficult to hear in the very beginning. That being said, when I did very first lose my pregnancy, I was like, well, you know, don't worry. This happens to a lot of people. You're not alone. It was like, I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to hear this happens all the time. Like, you know, I was so upset.

I was like, what do you mean? So I shouldn't feel upset that this happened to me because it happens to a lot of people. So I'm trying to articulate and it's a very difficult thing to articulate specifically because I think it is very intricate and it's, it can be very difficult and complicated to speak about something like that. So because there's so many powerful, really strong emotions that are happening in your physical body and in your emotional self as well. So I was always torn with they're trying to help me by saying this, but it didn't help

me to hear that. So if I'm saying that now, three years later, I do have perspective and it did eventually become helpful to hear, I'm not alone. One in three women have miscarriages. This happens to people. It's going to be okay. If someone's listening and they're not ready to hear that, I feel that. I've been there. This sucks. It sucks that one in three women go through it. It sucks that it's something that we have to deal with. Sometimes you need to hear that, you know? So I've been in a place and I've been in positions where I needed to feel both. Like, I'm mad, I'm confused. Why is this happening to me? Why is my body doing this? I felt a sense of failure. I felt a sense of betrayal of my own body, of my own self.

And I wanted to feel those things. I didn't want to hear, oh, well, it happens to one in three women. I'm like, oh, I'm mad at myself. It's okay to be mad at yourself. You don't have to get over it right away and accept that it happens to one in three women. So wherever you're at in your journey of dealing with these emotions and processing, I've felt those things. I've been angry. I've felt confused.

I felt relief. I felt pain. And none of it made any sense. I was like, how do I deal with this? And again, it goes back to sort of something similar. And when I lost Tate, I just sort of started talking to people. I spoke to one of my best friends in the whole world. And with the day it happened, I just sobbed to her and she held me, you know? And you know, she experienced this loss as well, not shortly after me. And I think that when I knew she was going through what I had been through and she held

me and I held her and we were talking about it with each other. I think that's when I got to a place when I was starting ready to hear this happens to one in three women. And then I wanted to learn about it more and understand the technical reasons why this happens and you know it's not my fault. My body didn't fail me. It wasn't a viable pregnancy. It wasn't healthy. It wasn't meant to happen. I'll never really know why it happened. It could be a multitude of things. I got pride in on an IUD.

That's probably number one reason why I didn't come to fruition. So I did have some things to ground me in my grief of, okay, well, this happened because of this reason. Some women don't get that answer and they don't know why. And maybe it happens to them a lot later in their pregnancies. And there's so many different levels and variations of what it means to have a miscarriage and so many different variables and versions of what a miscarriage looks like and what a miscarriage feels like to those people.

All I can say is my own personal experience and all the things I was feeling during that time. And know that, you know, three years later, I have so much more perspective and I've given myself so much time to heal from that. And it no longer feels like an open gaping wound. It feels like a scar. It's definitely still with me. There's a mark there. It happened to me. It's more of another mark on my spirit maybe, but I have perspective from it. I have healing from it.

I really feel like I gave myself a lot of time to feel everything I know I needed to feel for myself. And I think it's important for other women to hear from others what that it's something that we go through. And. I didn't know if I would ever publicly talk about it, but I, you know, I lost Tate and I'm talking about grief. And he was such a huge part of my journey and my life. And he helped me deal with grief. And he's been a huge part of my mental health and being there for me. And I think there's something there with

having that connection to an animal and mental health and what they can do for our mental health. I mean, there's therapy dogs for a reason and horse therapy and there's a reason why people connect to animals so strongly and there's something there and there's something that's healing and being around them, you know? And he was such a huge part of that healing and in losing him, it did hurt me in that area, that previous injury in my spirit that I had from the miscarriage. It was someone that was with me so closely and so deeply for something so difficult is no longer here.

I can no longer hold him and feel comforted from the wave of emotions that maybe come back from having the miscarriage. So it's all connected and sometimes it can be painful and it can be hurtful and even though it is a scar on me now and it's what I feel heals and I feel optimistic and I've grown a lot from it. And, you know, I do feel like I've kind of come out

on the other side of going through that. It's still a tender spot, you know what I mean? It's like, if it's poked, it kind of hurts. It's like, oh, that was, that's from that, you know? I can only, I've never broken a bone crazy enough as it is. So I can imagine it's maybe similar to if you break a bone in your body, it still hurts maybe later in life and you feel aches and pains and all of these things. So it's an injury that I feel like my spirits endured and it's still there, but I really worked through it

and worked through healing. And I think there's a light at the end of the tunnel in terms of if you're going through that, it takes time and who knows, maybe now, maybe I think I'm healed and I'm maybe fully not, I don't know, I feel confident and comfortable enough to speak about it. So maybe that's a layer and a step towards healing. Maybe we're never fully done healing and growing from things.

I mean, we're never done growing. We grow forever and ever and ever until the day we die. So it might evolve and it might change going forward and it might continue and shift. And I can maybe look back on where I'm at today and think, I still had some work to do and I wasn't aware of it yet. So we'll see where it goes. But where I'm at now is this is the head space that I'm in. I feel comfortable and confident enough to talk about it and talk about what happened and share it and hope that others can maybe connect with it and feel not alone. I know it can feel isolating, especially if there is no one in your life that's been

through it and you don't feel like you have somebody to connect to. So hopefully it just helps. And I feel like that's kind of why I wanted to share that was just because, you know, the many layers of grief and in my loss, I've felt lost before and I lost someone that went through that loss with me. So I kinda just wanted to touch on both of those things just because I know they can be, it's something that a lot of people go through losing a pet, losing a loved one,

and then obviously, you know, losing a pregnancy and going through a miscarriage. And so. Thank you for the courage and bravery to share that with us here today for the first time publicly beyond friends and family. And when I was listening to you, Tilly, I was just thinking like, I appreciate just the level of complexity and layers that you're willing to kind of look at this from, whether it's personally, others, everyone.

I mean, I was saying to you that I've had multiple friends in the last two to three years who've all experienced a miscarriage. And I talk to them and I'll hear from them and I see so much just stress, overwhelm, pressure, self degradation, like, you know, just negative self-talk. Like, it's one of the hardest things to go through, even if everyone goes through it, as you say.

Oh, not everyone, but so many people go through it, it doesn't make it any easier. And often, actually, like you said, it makes you so lonely that you don't want to talk to anyone about it. Yeah. And it's not comforting to know other people have gone through it. And I wonder, in that lonely phase,, like what was it that did help you? And even when your friend went through it, what allowed you to be there for each other

in a way that was comforting and helpful rather than felt uncomfortable and unhealthy? I needed to be alone. I needed to like, I needed to be alone. I needed to like I needed to feel it. I needed to Be in it. I didn't want to talk about it Because I didn't want people want to be there for you and That's really special and that's really helpful, but I didn't want people to be there for me yet. I wasn't ready For people to be like, oh, I'm so sorry. Because people don't know what to say sometimes when it comes

to grief or loss. Sometimes I don't know what to say either. I have no idea on how to react to some things still. Having experienced my own version of grief. How do you be there for somebody? It's a difficult thing. I mean, I didn't know how I needed, why I didn't know what I needed from people. I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to be alone. I didn't want anyone to know because I didn't want people to talk to me about it or say things to me because I just wasn't ready to hear it yet. And the way that I think I told people that were really, really close to me, really my husband obviously knew because it happened to him too.

And my two best friends knew. And the way that I feel like they were there for me because they didn't know what to say, they didn't say anything. They were there for me physically. They held me, they let me cry. I just sat there and I cried and said nothing. And they just held my hand and were like, just sat there with me and like let me cry.

They didn't ask me questions, they didn't ask me how I felt, they didn't ask... They didn't say anything to me like... They didn't say everything happens for a reason, don't worry, like, you'll feel one day, da da da. They didn't go into that, I think, because they know me so well, they probably knew that I didn't want to hear that yet. They just were there and they listened when I was ready to talk. And then because I wasn't ready, they just let me emote and they just let me cry and they cried and I could tell because I was hurt, they were hurt. You know, when I finally got to

my husband and we were together, he just held me. We both cried and he just held me and you know, I held him too because I think that's another thing, another layer on top of it is even though it physically happened to me and emotionally was something that I experienced, it was an individual experience to myself emotionally. It's a loss that happened to him as well. He also thought potentially he would be having a child. So we were both grieving something. We were both grieving the loss of this. We were both feeling this weird sense of relief

at the same time and then immediately guilty because we felt relief and then immediately anger because we felt guilt and you know what I mean? It's just, it's relentless. These emotions when it's guilt and you know what I mean? It's just it's relentless these emotions when it's fresh You know, you feel literally every single one that's on the rainbow of all the colors. We felt we felt all of them and I think when it's when it was the very beginning I think for me it was just holding people holding me You know Being and just being in the space with me. They didn't have to say anything If they didn't know what to say, you know, being in just being in the space with me, they didn't have to say anything

if they didn't know what to say, you know? And when we did sort of start talking about it, I, I, we first started saying, this sucks. I can't believe this is happening. You know, it was... If I was feeling angry, then they would be angry with me. If I was sad, then they were sad with me. So, they were amazing at being there for me in those ways. And I think it is difficult to know what to say and how to be there for someone. But I think following them and how they're reacting is also really good.

Like taking the cue from how they're responding is a good way to respond back to someone. And checking in, my friends that knew, checked in with me, how are you feeling today? You know, and then if I didn't want to talk about, they were like, okay, let me know when you are ready, you know? Yeah, we're here.

So just, you know, they were checking in, you know, making sure, and then, you know, my best friend, she, who, she experienced this as well, she continues to check in with me. This is three years later and we still talk about it. Oh my gosh, can you believe it? You would have a three-year-old. I'm like, I know. And it's just we get to have these moments together of we would both have a three-year-old right now. And we think about that and we deal with that and we grieve that and we grieve the loss of that potential

and that direction in life, you know, that thread that didn't happen in this path. So female friendships are incredible and they're beautiful. And I think it's really important for women to have women in their life that they can go to and they can talk to about these things because we can relate to each other in other ways that I think I couldn't get from my husband.

And being able to go to her was so special and really helpful. So I think also have patience with yourself. And if you know someone who's going through that, have patience with them because it's a roller coaster. And you know, she was, my friend, she was going through this too. And I was feeling emotions and I was feeling heartbroken because I know, because she was heartbroken.

So I was feeling emotions as well and I just have to be patient because it's happening to her. So at her pace, at her time, when she's ready, when she wants to hear, when she wants to talk about it, we can. And we both kind of just, we both shared that understanding with each other. Something powerful, really powerful that you said was, I wasn't ready for someone to be there for me yet. And I think that's such a really remarkable insight.

As I was listening to you, I was thinking, often when we see people who are struggling, because their struggle causes us discomfort, we want to solve it for them. And so if I'm speaking to a friend who's like, oh, you know, my friend's going through this, or my partner's going through this, and they're spiraling, and we're so uncomfortable with their discomfort, that we want to fix it to relieve our own discomfort, not realizing that that person may need to feel and experience all of it and to let it all out in their own way.

And I love what you just said of, I just wasn't ready for someone to be there for me yet. And I think that's a great note for all of us to ask ourselves, like, am I ready for someone to be there for me yet? And if I'm trying to help someone, are they truly ready for me to be there for them? Yeah. And one of the things that I've seen in, and you mentioned as well, when we were talking, this idea about how there's so much pressure also on the couple.

So there's, you're both individually dealing with loss and grief. But then there's like a dynamic that you go through with each other. Because you're both at different spaces of healing. You're both at different timelines. The waves come differently. It's affected both of you. But then you're both trying to be there for each other. Like it's quite a unique relation. It's quite both of you, but then you're both trying to be there for each other. Like, it's quite a unique relation.

It's quite a unique situation. Walk us through how you navigated that overwhelming pressure and feeling together as well. And what did it take to reconnect? And I mean, I don't even think it's finding normalcy. It's like evolving. But what does that look like? At one of the most famous restaurants in the world, there's a table in the corner where the most incredible conversations on the planet are happening every week with owner, Ruthie

Rogers and amazing guests like Martha Stewart. But he did have an affair with one of his best friends. Jimmy Fallon. You want to zip line over your dad while he gets attacked by alligators. And Paul McCartney. John and I hitchhiked to Paris. We've saved you a seat. Ruthie's Table Four.

Listen to Ruthie's Table Four on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. I mean, my husband is so kind. He's so, he's very gentle. He's very, he's very understanding. He knows I'm an emotional person. He knows I feel things deeply, like heavily. And he knows that I was distraught, you know, he could see that I was, I'm even feeling it now, you know, just all these different things all at the same time. And he's a supportive partner to me.

And I think what was really helpful for us was, I think he had a really great understanding and he was so wonderful during those times for me. I think for him, he understood, okay, this is something that he's like, okay, I'm feeling, I also can't speak for him, obviously, because these are his feelings and his journey as well. So as I'm saying this, it's more just like collectively what we both went through.

It was the shared experience that I'm touching on. And things that he did say and express to me. So, you know, I felt that he had a really great understanding of, you know, equal, the equal amount of heartbreak of loss. You know, he was feeling that too and we got, we had a shared experience in that. And I think he also had a really great understanding of, this is physically happening to her as well as it is emotionally happening to her.

He knew it would take me longer to gain perspective, to start my healing process, to be able to adjust or process my emotions just because I think, he said to me, whatever I feel like I'm feeling, I know you're feeling it tenfolds. I know what you're going through is a physical reaction in your body of change and then the change of becoming pregnant, the change of losing that pregnancy, the emotional change from all of those things. So for us, it was really helpful that he was super understanding and he's really great

at navigating emotion as well. And I think it was helpful for me when he talked about it with me, when he would say things like, today is the day it happened, and he's reminding me and he's the one talking about it. It makes me feel less alone that he still remembers it, that he still carries it with him. Because sometimes, just because we've had some time, we've had some distance, I know I carry this with me forever. I know I will because this happened to me in more ways than one. And I worry sometimes, or I did that, well, maybe he won't feel that way. Maybe he'll move on faster.

Maybe he'll forget about it. Maybe all these things. And then you feel sad and different emotions around that. And I know that that can be really complicated in a dynamic of loss, of they're moving on, oh, they're forgetting about this, they're not talking about this anymore. So for me, what was really helpful is because I know that he went through this too.

I love that he checks in with me. I love that he talks about it with me. I love that he also says things like, can you believe we would maybe have had a three-year-old? Oh my God, you think about that too? It made me feel so seen, like so heard and that he sees me all the time, you know? He sees when people, we've been married

for almost a year now, so he sees when people make comments like, oh, when you guys gonna have kids or are you thinking about having kids? And people ask, you know, it's a harmless question. And I understand why people ask it. And it's, it's, I'm not angry that people ask that question. I think it's part of society. You know, people want to talk about it, you know, people are excited about having starting families if we want to start a family, which we do. And we've spoken with our friends

that we would want to have a family one day. So I understand why they're asking us those questions, but not everybody knows that I went through this and at that time, I mean now maybe everybody will know I went through this, but I wasn't ready for everybody to know that I was going through this and I had to deal with those questions internally and it was painful to hear those questions. People would make comments because a lot of my friends had babies during COVID and everyone was like, oh, everyone had all these babies during COVID and everyone was getting pregnant and I did and I was pregnant and I didn't have a baby. So I would hear comments like that. I would hear

things like that. Oh, also people assume that maybe I have had a kid and they just don't know yet. Oh, did you have a kid? Were you one of those girls during COVID that had a kid? And I'm like, God, I know what you mean when you're saying that, but you have no idea. No, I guess I'm not. idea. No, I guess I'm not. So he would sort of see me and like see that I was dealing with that internally and trying to process socializing and, you know, navigating these comments because it's nobody's fault that they're asking it, you know. It's just normal. It's just life, right? So I have to, I do have to grow from this. I have to be able to handle this. I have to be able to talk about this again. I do have to be able to be okay. And I wasn't always okay. And I think he saw that I wasn't

always okay. And I could tell that he was hurt when I was hurt. I could tell that he was feeling what I was feeling, you know. And I also shared it with him too because people can't read your mind. This is my partner. This is my life partner. This is the person that I decided that I want to spend life with and do life with. So I have to do life with them, right? So I have to make a point to share today I'm feeling extra bad because

it's the week of my miscarriage. It's the anniversary week. I'm not going to feel good this week. I say that, I express that, he cannot read my mind. He has no idea what I'm feeling unless I'm saying it. So it's a two-way street that I share with him and that he sees me and he understands me. And he does. He's really great at understanding how I moat, my tells, my physical things that maybe I do where he's like, she's nervous, she's upset. I could tell she's holding back tears right now. He helps remove me from said situation.

So learning each other and sharing with each other. And he knows those things. And he's been able to learn those things because I've shared them with him. And I've shown him and told him. And vice versa. He's shared with me and told me and shown me how I can care and love and be there for him. So I think just for a couple in this scenario, however, you're dealing with the loss of a

pregnancy or a child because I know people conceive in many different ways. And there's a lot of stress in starting a family on multiple different types of relationships and partners and spouses and how you're going about it and how you're dealing with it and what you're going through and what you're doing with each other and how your journey with that is unique to you, to both of your situations and the way that you guys communicate with each other is important and learning each other and asking for something is there's nothing wrong with asking for something and then they're able to adjust and do that for you. So I feel like that's something that I've learned as well

is being open and making sure I'm sharing and he's really great at just innately because we've known each other and we're we're we love each other he's he's good at you know knowing and figuring out those little things that I do for himself and just seeing me but also I've shared a lot with him and he listens and he adapts and he changes from those things for me and does those things for me. So I think that communication is probably the number one most important thing and also the most difficult thing.

I know communicating is so difficult. How do you be vulnerable? How do you share these things? Am I ready to talk about this? Do I wanna say this? And I don't know. I think just say it and ask for it and communicate it because again, you know, they may have no idea that that's even going on in your head and they have something completely different going on in their head.

Yeah, no, it's so true and I appreciate you sharing that because I think a lot of people are both dealing with the grief and then they're dealing with the loss of the relationship they had and the one they thought they were going to have when they had a child together as well. And so, communication is at the core and the heart of all of that because it's so multilayered and so complex. Taylor, as I was listening to you and I asked this question very sensitively and I ask it in order to hopefully help people who are listening as well. Like, how do you refine the confidence to want to think about family again and try again? Because I ask it very sincerely and sensitively,

thinking about people listening who are like, I don't think I can ever try again, because it was so painful. And that's generally a human reaction to pain. If it was so painful, I can't go there again. Yet I have this desire to have a family. Like, how for you do you know when you're ready to think about it again, even or open up to the idea?

I know I want one. I don't think I've... I don't think I'm there yet. I haven't... I don't know actually if I've confronted that for myself. You know, I don't think I've gone there where one day I'm going to be trying to have a family and you know, maybe that stick is going to say pregnant, is it going to bring back all these emotions and how am I going to deal with that again?

Gosh, I have no idea because you know, I'm not there yet. I'm still not ready for a child and I'm not ready to think about it and I'm not ready to start having a family and I don't know when that is. And you know, a lot of people who've had children are like, you'll never know, the timing's never right, all this stuff. And everyone's journey is different and that I have no plan. I have no timeline of when I'm gonna start a family, when I'm gonna do that, how I'm gonna do it. I don't know.

And I also have no idea what I'm about to confront when I start trying again. Is it gonna be really easy? Am I gonna, is it gonna be fine? Did this scenario happen to me simply because of the IUD or will I experience this again? Because you know, a pregnancy is a new organism in your body. It's like a technically, I don't know, I could only, I think of it maybe as almost like a bacteria that's like, it's introducing like a new thing inside of your body and a miscarriage

is a rejection of that, your body being like, that shouldn't be here what is this this is new and sometimes it takes time to adjust your body has to be like oh that's what that is so maybe it takes a couple tries and you know that's why your body's doing that I don't know why my body did that probably the IUD most likely if doctors are listening they'll probably be like oh it's the IUD that's. If doctors are listening, they'll probably be like, oh, it's the IUD. That's why I was like, okay, okay, fine. That's why. But I guess I'll sort of, maybe I'll be able to speak on that more when I'm in the headspace of actively trying or if and when I do have a child like to be able to touch on that again. But I think I'm nervous. You know, I do have fears about getting to that stage in my life

and I'm worried about what I'm gonna start feeling when I am pregnant again. I want to enjoy the process. I wanna be excited. I wanna feel all of those things, but unfortunately because of what I went through, I know that in the beginning I won't. I'll feel fear.

I'm gonna be afraid. I know I'm gonna be scared. I know I'm gonna be scared I know I'm gonna have like anxiety about it until Who knows when maybe the entire pregnancy? I don't know but I know I've been through this before I I know I can Handle this I'm stronger because of this if it happens to me again. I'm gonna be okay I'm stronger because of this. If it happens to me again, I'm gonna be okay. You know, look at how far I've come. Look at what I,

how I handled this, like what we went through. Like I have confidence in that at least, but I also, I have no idea what that is gonna look like for me until I start doing that or until it happens. So, you know, I would say for me, how I can rationalize it is, I'm stronger because of this. I've handled, I've been through this, this thing, and I've dealt with something that was really difficult for me personally to go through.

And I came out the other side, whether or not I'm fully done yet, we don't know. We'll figure it out when we get there. But right now, all I can say is I feel confident that I know I'm going to be okay no matter what. I'm going to be okay. I can get through anything. I can do this. Like I have a great support in my husband, in my family, in my friends.

They were all there for me. They showed their love and support. I was there for me. I was there for myself. I showed up, you know? So I know I can show up for myself. I know I can be there. I know I can pick myself back up again

and start walking and make it, you know, make those steps towards healing again. So we're resilient as people, as humans, and having faith in our resilience and in our strength and in our ability to find healing and find growth. I think we forget and we doubt ourselves sometimes that we can do that. We can do, we can get through that. Thank you for such an honest answer. I feel like a lot of people will be able to resonate and connect with that. This idea of, I don't know, we'll see when I get there. Don't even if I'm ready to answer that question.

And I think, I think people listening to that will feel a sense of relief because I think that naturally again, like you said, when you go through it, you have to get into tactical mode of how do we make sure it's done and clean and everything's okay. And then we get into, okay, how do I start? And it's, you almost don't give yourself that space. So thank you so much for giving everyone space by even having that answer. It's really beautiful and powerful to hear.

Taylor, you've been so gracious and kind with your time today, with your energy, with your soul. Like, I really feel like you've let us in, which is so kind. I really hope you feel we've honored Tate and given a chance for you to express your love for Tate and also honored your experiences. And, you know, I feel like with your whole career and everything, it's almost like I find that, you know, I feel like with your whole career and everything, it's almost like I find that, you know, when you've been modeling from such a young age

and you've been in the public eye, like so much of your career becomes about your looks, your age, your, you know, those things become big. And as you transform and evolve as a human too, as you're starting, you know, Taylor and you're starting a company or you've started a company that's doing all this incredible purposeful work, and you've built a content platform and a platform where people can find amazing products, amazing services, amazing partnerships for their pets and their dogs and everything else.

Like, walk us through how you see that evolution for yourself of coming from an industry in a space that is defined by these external things of looks and age and fitness and everything, and then finding your path through that now. Yeah, I think, you know, they really play such a big role with each other. I think why I even wanted to start Tate and Taylor and start a business and be in the pet space. Obviously, I have a huge passion Tate and Taylor and start a business and be in the pet space. Obviously, I have a huge passion for animals and dogs. This is so much more to me than just a company.

I'm doing this because this is absolutely 100% the thing I love most in the world is my dog Tate and my dog Salem I have now too. They're just so incredible and amazing and they've changed my life in so many ways and even Salem now has impacted my life in so many different ways than Tate did and I'm so excited about the journey and the life that I'm going to live with him and the things he's about to teach me and show me. And I don't think I would even be able to know how to do that and build something with intention and purpose if I hadn't had

my career before. I started modeling when I was 14. I don't have a traditional education in that sense, but I've learned so much from my job and from working at a young age and traveling the world and having so many experiences, I feel like I learned by doing and by being able to see how things work and people producing fashion collections and watching them make the clothes on me

to walking in the fashion show and seeing how things are done is really interesting and being a part of a photo shoot and all the different areas and everyone has a part of a photo shoot and all the different areas and everyone has a different job and seeing how it all comes together and how everybody works and all the puzzle pieces kind of like, you know, as I'm sure you know, it's just like, it's interesting and there's a lot of different layers to what goes into something like a photo shoot or, you know, a campaign or a video or a movie or a fashion show.

It was really fun and exciting for me to witness and see those things and do those things. I think modeling has been, it is a lot about, it is about physically what I look like, 100%. I'm a model because of how I look. I know that. So it's an interesting thing to go from, I'm here because of how I look. I know that. So it's an interesting thing to go from, you know, I'm here because of how I look, but also I feel like after a certain extent, I'm still here because of who I am. And I'm still here and people continue, hopefully, to work with me because we have fun together and we build relationships and they get to know me.

And it becomes more than just this, you just this surface transaction of she looks a certain way, she fits the bill physically of what we're looking for, so we're going to book her. I think after 14 years, you start knowing people and establishing relationships and becoming friends with people in the industry and then people want to work with you because they like you, they like hanging out with you. It's like a lot of industries, you know what I mean? The more you are in it, the more you do it, the more friends you make,

the more connections you feel like you have with people, and the less it becomes about how you look, and it becomes a lot about who you are actually. Like my interpretation of my career in modeling, I feel like it's been with people that I enjoy working with and I get to work with them again and again and again, and I love that. I love that I now know so many people in the industry

and every time I get a call sheet, not every time, but I get these call sheets and I see who's gonna be on set and I'm like, oh my God, I haven't seen this person in however many years and I'm so excited to work with them again and do that. So to me, maybe it starts off that way and modeling is about the way that I look and how I physically am. But then I think it becomes a lot deeper than that.

So you know, people establishing those connections with me has like taught me how to grow and change. They've taught me so much about life and different backgrounds and different people and different things. So I learned so much from it and I've grown so much from it. And wanting to start my own business, I feel like I'm able to do that because of everything that I've done in my modeling career.

And I really just, I see them so much a part of each other. And I want to be in the pet space and have this business because it's something that I also love to do. Like I love my job. I love modeling and I really believe in pursuing things that you love to do. And you know, maybe I won't be a model forever. I have no idea because it's not a very consistent lifestyle as much as I love it.

You never know. I just got a text message today that I'm going to Paris on Thursday. So maybe when I do start trying to have a family and if I have a family and my family is growing and growing and growing or you know I have all these hopes and dreams to have a big family, it'll be more difficult to do my modeling career to the extent that I'm doing it now.

And I also love dogs and I love my dog and I love you know animals and I love that people love their animals. And I wanted to create something that I wish existed with my life and my journey and path with Tate. And I'm creating something that I really want and need with Salem, my new dog now that I rescued. And because we're going through so many different things and I'm so excited to you know have be able to build on the experience I've had from modeling and apply it to what I'm doing now with Tate and Taylor and build something with purpose build something with you know meaning something that I'm

passionate about doing something that I love it's it's my lifestyle it's you know I'm that crazy dog lady that every time I see a dog on the street, I'm like, hello, how are you? Nice to meet you. What's your name? I just, I love dogs and I love animals in general too. So I really think that dogs are connectors and I've met a lot of people and had so many amazing, interesting conversations because of our dogs. If you're out walking your dog and people stop you, oh my God, what kind of dog is that?

Oh my God, he's so beautiful. Is, you know, are they a boy or are they a girl? What's their name? And the next thing you know, you're having a full blown conversation with the complete and total stranger. But I feel like I'm in a safe space, you know? It's really interesting.

And I, as a shy, I started out really shy and kind of an introverted person, having Tate, everybody loved him. People were like, oh my God, that's the cutest dog I've ever seen. And I had to open up, I had to have conversations with people and he helped me do that.

And he helped me connect with people. And, you know, someone that works with me on Tate and Taylor, I met through Tate in my building, you know, because we had like a doggy playdate group chat in the building and she invited us and, you know, our dogs were playing and we connected and now she's helping me, you know, build Tate and Taylor. So I love dogs.

I think that they're just amazing and they're connectors. And it's something that I love so much and find so much joy in. And I hope that people receive that and see that and are excited about it because I'm really passionate about how I take care of my dog and the love I want to give him. I want to give him the best life possible because they're not with us forever as I know very well. And I want to cherish every single second I possibly can with them. And I know so many pet people and people who have pets want that as well. And, you know, there's definitely a lack of

community, I think, in the pet industry. There is community, but there's not like a place, I feel like there wasn't a place to go for information to connect to other people. And I really hope to build that and grow Tate and Taylor into something where people feel like, this is happening to me, and I don't know what to do. Maybe we can help you figure that out. So that's sort of the intention in doing what we're doing. You know, we have the online store, we're like curating products, we're looking for amazing founders and brands and people who are doing innovative things

in the pet space with, whether that's treats that are with really great quality. We have women-owned businesses. I love the idea of supporting women and young, cool entrepreneurs doing really interesting things and maybe helping do that together and giving them a space and a platform to showcase and talk about their product and why it's great and why it's different and, you know, help them sort of just like share what they're doing with the world because there's so many passionate, you know, entrepreneurs out there who are starting these companies in the pet space. And they're so dedicated. And they have just as much passion and love as I do for their dogs. And they've gone through something that's completely different than maybe I've

gone through with Tate. So it's really interesting to be able to speak with businesses and speak with founders about why they started their company, what their goal and what their mission and their drive is, why they're doing what they're doing, challenges they've faced as women in the industry, as just being an entrepreneur in general. There's so many things that we want to touch on in that space that I think there's just ... I felt like it wasn't there when I was going through that with Tate.

I really want to create that for people and bring people together and have it be fun, and you know, really easy and exciting, you know, to care and like find cool products and great and things that work that, you know, we like for our pets. So, yeah. That's a really powerful... Hard stop.

No, it's a really powerful intention and powerful mission. And it's so clear and evident. And I feel like you're going to revolutionize the pet space. It's obvious that your drive and passion is true. And a couple of lessons I took away just listening to you. One was this idea. I think we live in a world where when we discover something we're passionate about, we like to discount our past experience

and make it seem like, oh, now I've found it. Whatever I did before was kind of like, it was there, but now I've found it. And what I love hearing about from you, and I definitely resonate with what you said, it's like actually every stage of your career unlocks the opportunity, the ability, the ideas, the resources, the connectivity to do the next thing.

And I think if anyone out there is right now, you're listening and you're going, I hate my job. I hate where I am. I don't like what I'm doing. I promise you there's some skill or some lesson or some person or some contact that you met through that, that could help you build the next part of yourself. And overall, your business and your venture and this direction you've gone in is truly a journey of pain to purpose,

of passion to purpose, of using your platform for a purpose. And I think that it's such a beautiful example that so many of us, no matter what our pains are, what our stresses are, what our challenges are, that we can transform them into an offering to help other people who are going through the same thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Building a brand with intention, I think, and with a purpose to give back and help, I think, is really important and something that, especially in the pet space, I felt was lacking because there's so many areas I would love to tap into just beyond the cancer funding and maybe even cancer research and getting into that and understanding why and how. As well as rescue, we work with rescue organizations and my dog Salem is a rescue and that's an experience that he's been teaching me about and something that I want to make a change and make an impact in. I think for me with Tayton Taylor, the most important thing about this business is using it to make an impact and do good things with it and use it to help people and help others and help dogs

you know help people who have dogs or you know hopefully animals pets in general we're we'll get there one day well if you have an iguana great maybe we'll be able to help you with that I don't know who knows where it's gonna go that's what's so exciting it's so new and it's so fresh and right now we're dogs right now so I'm obviously talking about dogs because that's what we are doing currently. I do have the hope and the optimism and the intention to want to do as much as I possibly can. But, you know, I'm going to focus on one thing and then we can start growing from there

and building on top of that. So in the pet space, there's just so much that I want to do and so much I want to accomplish. And I want to be able to build something that helps, most importantly, and that does give back and that does have a drive and does have a cause because there is a drive and there is a cause and there is a reason behind everything that I'm doing

and it's Tate. It's dedicated to him. It's dedicated to everything he taught me. The love I know he has for me. The love I have for him. And it's for everyone who's ever felt that way about a dog or a pet in their life. It's a dedication to that. It's a dedication to that feeling and knowing you want to take care of something. You love something so deeply. So do we. We know that feeling, we understand that. And we want to make something and build something with you that is impactful and meaningful and helpful and connective. And hopefully we can, you know, build a great community and have incredible resources for people.

So, you know, this is just the beginning of our journey with it and I'm really, really excited about it. Well, congratulations, Taylor. We end every episode of On Purpose with a fast five, which have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum. Oh my God. I talk a lot. Before we do that, let me check.

You might have noticed from that. So Taylor Hill, these are your final five. Question one is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received? Best advice is do what you love and the rest will come. My dad told me that. Great answer. All right. Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

Maybe if you ignore it, it'll go away or something. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, that's absolutely not true. Good answer. Question number three. What's the first thing you do every morning and the last thing you do every night? Well, I'm really not a morning person.

So first thing in the morning, I'm like, why am I awake? What's that alarm? Why? What's happening? I'm very disoriented first thing in the morning. And I think I drink coffee. I need to have a cup of coffee. I'm not a morning person. And then at night, I love snuggling with my dog, kissing Salem. And in the past, kissing Tate, having our good night cuddles. You know, if I'm at home with my husband,

this is more than one sentence, I've already failed. You know, saying good night and having time, like, you know, our connection with him. Yeah. Question number four. What's something you learned lately? Something, a skill that you picked up, a lesson that you learned recently.

Not that reason, but lately I've been learning how to cook and doing it better. Cool. Cooking more and being better at it. But that's taken time. Nice. It does take time. Fifth and final question. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow,

what would it be? Always grow, you know. Always be willing to grow and change. I don't know how to apply that as a law, but I think growth is so important and acknowledging past mistakes and growing and changing from them is really important,

something I'm still learning and trying to do. But I think if we can all work on that and do that, maybe the world could be a better place. Absolutely. Well said. Taylor, hello everyone. Taylor, thank you so much for sharing your heart, your soul, your beautiful experiences. Thank you for being so open and honest with our community

and everyone who's been listening and watching. I know that this will have affected you. I know your friends and family who've been through some of these experiences that Taylor shared with us. Please pass this will have affected you. I know your friends and family who've been through some of these experiences that Taylor shared with us. Please pass this episode on to them. Maybe even sit and listen to it with them and hold them through it. I would love for you to use this episode as a way of having some of those

uncomfortable, difficult conversations. And of course, check out Tay and Taylor. I can't wait for you to give your dogs all the love that they deserve. And I want to say a big thank you again to Taylor for her presence, love and energy. Thank you very much. I'm happy to have been here. Thank you. If you love this episode, you will also love my interview with Kendall Jenner on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing your inner child. You could be reading something that someone is saying about you

and being like, that is so unfair because that's not who I am and that really gets to me sometimes but then looking at myself in the mirror and being like but I know who I am why does anything else matter? Discover a new educational and interactive podcast stories for kids by Lingo Kids. Our episodes are packed with fun activities right Elliot? Oh yes! We went shape hunting around the block and we found spheres and cubes on the street. That was great fun! Join Stories for Kids, the Lingo Kids podcast, inspiring you to learn while having fun. Listen to Stories for Kids on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

or wherever you get your podcasts. A new season of Bridgerton is here and with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast. I'm your host, Gabby Collins. And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton. Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix. Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday. Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt,

and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts. It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting. Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more. Let's learn about all of it and then some. Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.