On Purpose with Jay Shetty - The 1 Habit All Highly Effective People Live By & How To Implement It In Your Life

Episode Date: July 31, 2020

There’s a simple thing Jay Shetty believes holds the secret to flourishing in these challenging days - curiosity. If there is anything that can keep us healthy and afloat, it is curiosity. In this episode of On Purpose, Jay shares five reasons to cultivate curiosity Feeling unmotivated or not inspired? Curiosity is the golden ticket to creativity and success. Watch the full episode for tips on how to build curiosity and use it to its maximum potential.Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 A Word From Our Sponsors:Jump over to https://athleticgreens.com/purpose and claim my special offer today - 20 FREE travel packs valued at $79 with your first purchaseStart your Free Trial at https://www.TheGreatCoursesPLUS.com/JAYSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm Brendan Francis Neum, I'm a journalist, a wanderer, and a bit of a bond-vivant, but mostly a human just trying to figure out what it's all about. And not lost is my new podcast about all those things. It's a travel show where each week I go with a friend to a new place and to really understand it, I try to get invited to a local's house for dinner. Where kind of trying to get invited to a dinner party? It doesn't always work out. Ooh, I have to get back to you. Listen to not lost on the iHeart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going

to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Intercosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Munga Shatekler, and it turns out astrology is way more widespread than any of us want to believe. You can find it in Major League Baseball, International Banks, K-Pop Groups, even the White House. But just when I thought I had a handle on this subject, something completely unbelievable happened to me, and my whole view on astrology change. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer,

give me a few minutes because I think your ideas are about to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Detachment is about stepping back from a situation so you can examine it from another perspective. You might think of it as a way of shifting your perception. When we detach from something, we allow other things to be possible.

We invite in curiosity questioning how else we might view a situation. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. It is great to be back with you and I am buzzing because I keep seeing so many awesome reviews, so many 5 star reviews. We now have over 13,000 5 star reviews, which is incredible. If you haven't yet left a review, please do it. Makes a huge difference to podcasters, especially if this is a podcast you love, from Carmel 999.

It's as 10 My Life Around. I was introduced to this podcast in December of 2019, and it has taught me so much about intentionality, mindfulness, and kept me hopeful and resilient, even during some of the most challenging moments. Thank you so much. There's a few short ones which I love. Where has Jay been?

I needed him in my life. I really appreciate that. I need you in my life too. There's another one from Trent Brooks that says, Jay is amazing. I can't wait for your book. Thank you. I'm glad you're excited as well. So listen to this one. This one is from Saga. I've been trying to find something on Apple Podcast for positivity while we all try to adjust with pandemic. I finally found it. And within five minutes, I knew I have to listen to all of them. Thank you, Jay, and already pre-ordered. Not one, but two things like among books, one for me, and another one for my lady. Thank you. Well, thank you so much for leaving those reviews. I love reading them out. I really, really appreciate them. And I want to thank you so much for taking the time to do that. If you haven't subscribed, please do. And if you haven't left a review, please,

please do. Now, today's episode is all about one habit that will change your life and how to cultivate it. Now, be honest with yourself, how many of you are stressed about the future, wondering how to navigate the next few months or even days or hours? Are you worried about your health or anxious about finances or your children's well-being and education? These days days a lot of us are struggling. The company expressed scripts administer prescription benefits for millions of Americans. As reported in Newsweek, a recently generated report by the company that sampled more than 21 million people showed that over the last five years, use of prescriptions for anxiety had dropped 12 percent, and medications for insomnia

had fallen 11 percent. However, between February and the middle of March of this year, use of medications for anxiety increased a staggering 34 percent. The Washington Post reports that nearly half of Americans say that the pandemic is harming their mental health according to a poll from the Kaiser Family Foundation. A government hotline for people in emotional distress reported a 1,000% increase in traffic in April compared with the same time last year. And it's not just in the States, recently UN health experts warned of a global mental

health crisis around the world were faced with fear and anxiety about futures and our present. And even if you're not feeling as much of it directly, people in your household, or your extended family, or your friend's circle are likely to experience it. At a time when our quality of life can feel affected so drastically in such a negative way, how can we start to think about moving forward? What can we do to improve our lives and try to ensure that whatever the future brings, we can meet it with openness and excitement instead

of fear and restriction. Today, I'm going to tell you about one thing. Just one habit, one practice, one approach to life that will help you navigate your present and your future more successfully, with greater happiness and fulfillment and will help you locate and capitalize on new opportunities. And what it is will probably surprise you. Now, I don't want to imply that it will suddenly make everything easy. This is an unquestionably trying time. And in many ways, we're navigating an entirely new landscape. But this one habit will help you improve your outlook and help you devise creative strategies for moving forward. Are you ready to hear it? This one habit that will change nearly every

aspect of your life is curiosity. Today I'm going to talk about the five reasons to cultivate curiosity and the four ways you can become more curious. Curiosity is praised among some of our greatest thinkers and our most accomplished artists and business people. Einstein once said, I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious. Business guru Robin Sharma, who we also had on the podcast, a phenomenal episode, great guy, he said the best in business have boundless curiosity and open minds. And New York Times multiple best-selling author, Elizabeth Gilbert, said,

if you can let go of passion and follow your curiosity, your curiosity just might lead you to your passion. That's pretty powerful stuff, but why is curiosity so powerful? Todd Cashden, a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at George Mason University has been studying curiosity for years. He calls curiosity the central ingredient to creating a fulfilling life. As Cashden writes in his book, not surprisingly titled Curiosity, although you might believe

that certainty and control over your circumstances brings you pleasure, it is often uncertainty and challenge that actually bring you the most profound and longest lasting benefits. Think about that for a moment. It sounds counterintuitive, right? We spend so much of our lives seeking certainty and security. Yet, Cashden's research, along with research by others, shows that it's actually uncertainty and facing challenges that in the long run bring us more and longer lasting benefits in our lives.

Cashden says that curiosity is a key component of success and happiness. That rather than migrating to what is known It's seeking out the new and learning that helps us feel more fulfilled and helps us solve our problems There's a great quote by Andre Guidea, I believe is how you say his name Who is a French author and winner of the Nobel Prize in literature that you might have heard? It's one does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.

That's probably where a lot of us, maybe most of us, feel like we are right now. We're kind of adrift and the shore seems nowhere in sight. And that's a lot of what's making us feel so anxious and depressed. Well, Cashden says that only one of the keys to feeling more comfortable and possibly even excited about losing sight of the shore is cultivating curiosity. So here are the five reasons to cultivate curiosity. Get your pens out, get your mental notes ready, and then I'll talk about the four ways to cultivate curiosity.

So reason one, to cultivate curiosity. Curiosity drives us to find better, more satisfying, or more effective ways to do things. You might have heard this phrase before, that the more we learn, the more we realize there is to learn. As Cashnan explains, when we learn to embrace what we don't know, our perspective shifts, and we can see gaps in other things

that weren't obvious to us before. He uses the analogy of someone learning to become a rock climber. At first, your goal is primarily not to fall, a pretty good goal, right? You rely on your intuition and clinging to the side of the mountain because your mind is telling you don't fall. But as you get better, as you get more practical

and gain more experience, you start to see we're doing some things that a counter-intuitive would actually help you climb better. One of those things is that if you push your body away from the mountain, you can actually get more surface area of your toes and feet onto the mountain. So, while creating more space between you and the rock seems like exactly what you should not do, it's actually more likely to keep you from falling. And what makes good climbers even better is keeping

an open mind. They may get up the mountain successfully one way, yet they are curious as to whether there are more and even better ways to climb it. As climbers combine experience with curiosity, more possibilities become available to them. They see hand and foot holds they didn't see before. When they see more opportunities, they can be more creative about how they climb, and through this expanded knowledge and ability to be creative comes more fun and enjoyment. This idea of a climber actually moving away from the wall to get a better hold on it reminded me of the idea of detachment. As a monk, I learned about the importance of detachment and its role in how we experience the world. Detachment is about stepping back from a situation so you can

examine it from another perspective. You might think of it as a way of shifting your perception. When we detach from something, we allow other things to be possible. We invite in curiosity questioning how else we might view a situation. Deepak Chopra writes, in detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty. In the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe. Curiosity not only drives us to find new and

better ways to do things, it helps us do it. When we detach from a situation, when we release our judgment about it, we are open to new perspectives and new experiences. As Deepak Chopra wrote, it frees us from our past conditioning. Part of that conditioning is bias. We can also think about curiosity as a mindset that can counteract confirmation bias. You may have heard this term before. Confirmation bias is our tendency to seek out

or focus on information that confirms something we already believe. For example, what if you text your friend to see how she's doing and she doesn't respond right away? If you view your friend as a workaholic, you might assume she's too busy for me. Or if you struggle with self-esteem or if your relationship with this friend doesn't feel secure, you might think, why is she ghosting me? Was it something I said? In each of these cases, you're acting on preset bias or belief you have about your friend. You're assuming either that she's overly busy

or she's upset with you. I am Yamla and on my podcast, the R-Spot, we're having inspirational, educational, and sometimes difficult and challenging conversations about relationships. They may not have the capacity to give you what you need. And insisting means that you are abusing yourself now. You human. That means that you're crazy as hell, just like the rest of us. When a relationship breaks down, I take copious notes, and I wanna share them with you.

Anybody with two eyes and a brain knows that too much Alfredo sauce is just no good for you. But if you're gonna eat it, they're not gonna stop you. So he's gonna continue to for you. But if you're gonna eat it, they're not gonna stop you. Yeah. So he's gonna continue to give you the Alfredo sauce and put it even on your grits if you don't stop him. Listen to the art spot on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

I'm Eva Longoria. I'm Maite Gomez-Rejón. We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast, Hungry for History! On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages from our Mexican culture. We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs,

and even provide a recipe or two for you to try at home. Corner flower. Both. Oh, you can't decide. I can't decide. I love both. You know, I'm a flower tortilla flower. Your. Oh, you can't decide. I can't decide. I love both. You know, I'm a flower, tortilla flower. Your team flower? I'm team flower.

I need a shirt. Team flower, team color. Join us as we explore surprising and lesser-known corners of Latinx culinary history and traditions. I mean, these are these legends, right? Apparently, this guy Juan Mendes, he was making these tacos wrapped in these huge tortilla to keep it warm. And he was transporting them in Avurro, hence the name the burritos.

Listen to Hungary for history with Ivalongoria and Maite Gomez Rejón as part of the Michael Tura podcast network available on the I Heart Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast in each bite-sized daily episode. Time management and productivity expert Laura Vandercam teaches you how to make the most

of your time, both at work and at home. These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to before breakfast on the I Heart Radio app, or wherever you get your podcasts. Reason number two to cultivate curiosity is that curiosity breaks through bias.

What if in response to not hearing back from your friend, rather than assume you know why, you instead get curious? I wonder what she's up to. Build your curiosity muscle by coming up with alternate possibilities. Maybe she lost her phone or left it at home, maybe the battery's dead, maybe she's taking a digital break and has her phone off. Maybe she's in a place with no signal. You can even get creative or funny. Maybe her toddler is playing with her phone and accidentally switch the setting to friends and she can't figure out how to turn it back. I have a friend who

actually that happened to. so it might be true. That's another way detachment serves curiosity. Once we detach emotionally from a situation, we can glimpse the truly limitless possibilities that are present. In a universe filled with potential answers, it almost seems ridiculous to assume that you know why your friend hasn't texted you back yet. What if you were really getting upset about it and it was really no big deal? Maintaining an attitude of curiosity can help you avoid useless quarrels.

If we can train ourselves to hold our curiosity longer, we can avoid unnecessary emotional stress and probably avoid some fights as well. Maintaining an attitude of curiosity can help you avoid useless quarrels, like if we can train ourselves to hold curiosity longer, we can avoid unnecessarily emotional stress, and probably avoid some fights as well. Curiosity combats confirmation bias, that assumption that we know what's up, it stops us from cleaning to our beliefs and using those to interpret the world around us rather than being open to other possibilities.

And it's not just with our friends and family. It's in broader circumstances as well. Curiosity may actually make us better informed than those who technically know more than us about the issue. Listen to this, I know that probably sounds confusing, but this research helps explain it. A research team at Yale wanted to see who was more open-minded about information that contradicted their beliefs about different issues in science, such as climate change, would be people who were more informed about science, or those who were less informed, but who were rated as being

scientifically curious. What they found was that when confronted with articles and information that contradicted their particular views, both more liberal and more conservative thinkers who were knowledgeable about science were less likely to change their views, or even considering changing them. Instead, they dug in their heels. But for the group that were scientifically curious, when they were given an assortment of articles to read about climate change, those who were scientifically curious were more likely to select articles

that actually ran counter to their beliefs. They were more willing to read opposing views and information. And as a result, even though most of the scientifically curious group still didn't change their minds overall, there was less animosity and polarization between the liberal and conservative thinkers. Studies have also showed that when we are not curious

and instead are more rigid in our approach to life, we tend to make more assumptions about groups of people relying on stereotypes about people of different cultures, races, genders, and so on to inform our beliefs. When we're curious though, we're more likely to do the work of learning about who a person is as an individual rather than basing our assumptions on group stereotypes. So that's reason number two to cultivate curiosity. It decreases bias and helps us be more open-minded. Reason number three to cultivate curiosity is that it helps us be more successful and innovative.

Carol Dweck, who is a professor of psychology at Stanford University and author of the book Mindset in a tent of described a high school, where if a student was not successful in passing a class, they needed to graduate, they didn't receive a failing grade such as an F or an E, they received the grade not yet. I know that sounds strange, right? If I had come with the grade not yet, my parents would have been questioning what kind of school I was enrolled in.

Yeah, here's the rationale. When we perceive that we have failed at a task, for most of us, our brains kick us into survival circuitry. And when we are in that survival circuitry, part of which is a structure called the amygdala, our fear and anxiety ramp up. And that essentially kicks us out of the creative centers of our brains. So when we're scared and anxious, we lose access to our creative thinking.

It can also cause our other stress issues, including making art of us to remember things. It's why we struggle in interviews or dates and all of a sudden we lose our charisma, we lose our energy. Have you ever been put on the spot to answer a question that normally you know so well, you could answer in your sleep, but you were so startled or rattled or frightened that for the life of you, you couldn't recall it. For lots of us, when we're unsuccessful at something or we don't know an answer, fear and panic kick in.

And that makes us less likely to be able to actually find the answer or the solution. However, as direct points out in our talk, the words not yet help to diffuse the fear, response and keep us in our creative exploratory brains. So we're more likely to be able to learn, remember, and discover. As Todd Cashton points out, studies show that people with high intelligence don't necessarily perform the best in school or in their careers. In fact, curiosity is a stronger predictor of grades

and achievement, both in school and life. Now, if you're in a position where you have no idea what you're going to do to manage the next few months or days, instead of telling yourself, I don't know, right? Instead of saying, you know, I don't know, say, I don't know yet. Just that little bit of a switch in language can keep your brain open to recognizing new opportunities. Curiosity helps us be more successful in large part because it keeps us more creative and open to try new things. And when that creativity is tied to actual learning and experience, like with our rock climber,

it opens the door to success because curiosity combined with experience equals innovation. Lots of us know the story that the hit show Seinfeld was almost passed over by television executives. It bombed with test audiences who were confused and put off by the new style of show. As Adam Grant describes in his book, Originals, test audiences didn't know what to do

with a show about nothing as it was described by writers Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. Plus, they found the characters to be unlikable. NBC executives didn't know what to do with it either. They were uncomfortable with the format and content. Yet one NBC executive, Rick Ludwin, took a gamble and funded the show, and it went on to become an international success. That's the part of the story we know right,

but there's more to it. When Rick Ludwin started funding to bankroll the first few episodes of Signfold, he didn't really know what he was doing. He'd never worked with a sitcom before. And writers Jerry and Larry had never written a sitcom before. And in fact, it was this combined lack of experience that made Seinfeld a hit. As Steve Jobs said back in 1982,

if you're going to make connections which are innovative, you have to not have the same bag of experiences as everyone else does. All of the people at NBC and the Test viewers had experience with sitcoms as they'd always been done in the past. Before the writers and for Rick Ludwin, they were all in new territory. Yet, while they didn't know how to create a traditional sitcom, one thing they did know was comedy. Instead of focusing on what makes a sitcom work, Ludwin pan-backed and focused on what makes comedy work.

Ludwin said, one of the best things that I had going for me was that I'd never developed a prime time situation comedy, but I was accustomed to off-be, off-kilter ideas. I could see what worked and what didn't work, and he saw a lot about sign-fowl that worked. Reason four to cultivate curiosity is that curiosity is a cornerstone of mindfulness. There's been a lot in popular media these days about the extensive benefits of mindfulness

from better focus and performance to more happiness. One of the key aspects of practicing mindfulness is observing what is without judgment. It's about allowing ourselves to be curious observers of life as it is unfolding. When we're mindful, when we're curious, the most everyday things take on an aspect of newness and novelty. And by enlarge our brains love novelty when we experience new things, our brains release dopamine, which was good and compels us to seek out even more novelty. And that actually brings me to reason number five to cultivate curiosity.

It enhances our relationships. When we experience new things together, we get to share that dopamine hit, and we also learn new things about each other as well. So those are the five reasons to cultivate curiosity. But how do we become more curious? How do we do it? There are many ways, and I already gave you a few examples, but here are four simple ways to do it. Number one, cultivate hobbies, especially ones that are well outside your everyday activities. As Adam Grant describes in originals, one study showed that scientists who cultivated artistic hobbies such as playing an instrument, painting, woodworking, writing, or acting

were up to 22 more times likely to win a noble prize compared to scientists who did not cultivate such interests. So cultivate new hobbies. Number two, be willing to be wrong. Studies show that people are curious instead of being upset by their dear being wrong, are actually delighted about it, because they realize they are learning something new and their understanding of the world is expanding.

So recognize the opportunity in being wrong and it helps to not criticize others when they're wrong. One way to recognize the opportunity in being wrong is to underscore for yourself how what you've just learned is going to help you. And it can be about the simplest things. Like say to yourself, I was wrong in thinking that this was the fastest driving route to our favorite vacation spot. But now that I do know the fastest route, we can get there more quickly. Or now we'll have time to make a side trip, focus on the benefits of being wrong.

Number three, practice your listening skills, ask questions, then truly listen for the answers. Remember that study where people who are more perceived to be more engaged listeners were rated as being warmer and more attractive? As an interviewer, I try and follow that advice. My interviews would be so boring if I just ran down a list of pre-reading questions, one to the next, right? Obviously, I prepare for interviews by researching and writing down questions, but I also listen closely to my guest's answers. And that allows the conversation to go in all kinds of surprising places, and we all learn researching and writing down questions, but I also listen closely to my guests' answers. And that allows the conversation to go in all kinds of surprising places and we all learn and grow more as a result.

So ask people questions and practice to really listen to the answers. And number four, the final way I'm going to offer you today to become more curious presence. This goes with mindfulness. Open your mind to what is present right now and allow yourself to notice new things. When I was a monk day after day, we took the same walk and our teachers challenged us to notice something brand new every day. Try that yourself. Go somewhere familiar. If you're locked down right now, your apartment or house is probably especially familiar to you right now. Which is perfect. Go into your bedroom and sit on the bed

or sit at a desk in the kitchen or counter or look out the window and challenge yourself to notice at least five things you've never noticed before. Make this a regular practice in your life and you'll be amazed at how much more you notice about the whole world around you, about the possibilities and opportunities you become aware of and the new things you see in familiar people and familiar places. So those are five reasons to cultivate curiosity and four ways to become more curious, share your biggest insights on Twitter or on Instagram or Facebook wherever you are and tag me at J. Shetty and I can't wait to keep making wisdom go viral together. Thanks for listening everyone. The therapy for Black Girls podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal

development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care. The one you feed explores how to build a fulfilling life admits the challenges we face. We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear through guidance on emotional

resilience, transformational habits, and personal growth. I'm your host, Eric Zimmer, and I speak with experts ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers, offering powerful lessons to apply daily. Create the life you want now. Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I am Yom LaVanzant, and I'll be your host for The R Spot. Each week listeners will call me live to discuss their relationship issues.

Nothing will tear a relationship down faster than two people with no vision. There's y'all are just fping around like fish out of water? Mommy, daddy, your ex, I'll be talking about those things and so much more. Check out the R-Spot on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts.