On Purpose with Jay Shetty - The 4-Tier Framework To Effective Goal Setting & Why You’ve Failed In The Past
Episode Date: January 3, 2020How many times have you made goals and resolutions and they have just failed every single year? My prayer for each and every single one of you is to have a meaningful, fulfilling, purposeful 2020 so t...hat you can transform your life. This is a completely unique & different goal setting framework that you've never learned. Don't keep applying the same things that failed every year. A new decade needs a new approach and these are the tools needed to win the year! Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I am Yom Le Van Zant and I'll be your host for The R Spot.
Each week listeners will call me live to discuss their relationship issues.
Nothing will tear a relationship down faster than two people with no vision.
There's y'all are just floppin' around like fish out of water.
Mommy, daddy, your ex, I'll be talking about those things and so much more.
Check out the R-Spot on the iHeart Video app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to
podcasts.
The one you feed explores how to build a fulfilling life admits the challenges we face.
We share manageable steps to living with more joy and less fear through guidance on emotional
resilience, transformational habits,
and personal growth.
I'm your host, Eric Zimmer, and I speak with experts
ranging from psychologists to spiritual teachers,
offering powerful lessons to apply daily.
Create the life you want now.
Listen to the one you feed on the I Heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season. Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Resilience and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family secrets.
Listen to season 8 of Family Secrets on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Imagine you had a ladder and the only step on the ladder was the step at the top,
which got you right to the top of where you wanted to go.
But there were no other steps. Well, you might jump up and down a bit.
You might try and reach that top step. Once you reach it, then you've got to pull
yourself up. And when you pull yourself up, you're going to use all your upper body stenters,
try and then you probably fall. How many of you have experienced, then, you're year when you try
to gain your newest resolutions or your big goals because you only ever built the top step.
build the top step.
Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose 2020. Welcome to a new decade. This feels incredible. It feels surreal. It feels amazing. I am so excited for 2020.
I've been waiting for this year for a long time.
Just the way you say it, 2020, right?
2020, 2020, you can say it in any accent.
In any way, 2020 sounds colossal.
It sounds epic.
It sounds like there's gonna be a lot of shifts,
a lot of changes, it sounds powerful.
It's got that energy.
And I want you to have an incredible year.
I want you to have an incredible day, week, month.
I want you to just have the year,
the youth been wishing, wanting,
and waiting to have for such a long time.
And the best thing is this year,
we get to start it together.
Right, we never got to start last year together
all the year before because remember last year,
we only launched on February 14th.
So we didn't get to start the year together, but 2020,
we get to start the year together.
And I want you to make this commitment.
No matter how busy things get,
no matter how hectic things get,
no matter how busy things get, no matter how hectic things get, no matter how crazy things get,
I want you to connect with me here every single week because here's the thing.
It's the consistency that keeps you going.
It's the consistency that builds a momentum.
It's the consistency that breaks down those barriers that lets you help those breakthroughs.
It's the consistency that makes everything else possible.
Even the days when you're like, I can't today, I can't make time.
When you make time on that day, that's when the magic happens.
That's when incredible things start to happen in your life.
It's when you don't want to and you do, that's when you see shifts and change in your
life. But we're literally walking into a new decade.
We're walking into a new decade,
a new moment in our lives.
The last decade is there.
It's gone.
You've reflected, you've learned,
you've left behind,
and now it's time to start on you.
Now, when we're writing the story of our lives,
imagine we've just finished chapter 19
and you've now started chapter 20.
It's very, what's the right word?
It's very interesting and intriguing and curious
to wanna go back to chapter 19 or 18 and 17
and keep rereading it, nostalgia, memories, lessons, mistakes, failures.
It's easy to go live in the past because it's already written.
But chapter 20, you're writing it right now.
So you haven't started living it yet, so it's somewhat harder to live because you have to write.
You have to create again.
Now, if you keep rereading the old chapters, you can't consciously write the new ones.
You may write it unconsciously or unintentionally.
And if you unintentionally or unconsciously write it, you end up living a life that you
don't really want to live.
So I want you to bring your presence and your awareness and your attention right now to
2020.
This is your year.
This is your year. This is our year. This is the year that you make the shifts, the changes,
the progress that you've been wanting to make. And to help you do that, I'm going to give you a
new type of goal setting, a completely unique and different type of goal setting that you've never done before
because a new decade needs new tools, right? A new decade needs a new approach, a new progress.
I don't want us to keep applying the same things that fail every single year. How many times have you made goals and resolutions and they have just failed every single year? I want to give you
a plan that if you genuinely commit to it, if you genuinely
listen and connect with what I'm about to share with you, when you make goals in this way, you're going
to find them. Not just, it's not about being easy to reach. It's going to be easy to focus on and understand what to commit to.
Now this goal setting framework has four key elements
to it.
And before I dive in, I just want to let you know
about some of the stats around New Year's resolutions,
right?
Because I think it's important to realize
how unlikely people are to keep up with
their newest resolutions. Now, this was something that I read in an article and it was talking
about how the top 10 newest resolutions according to a survey of 2,000 people, 71% wanted to die or eat healthier. 65% wanted to exercise more. 54% wanted to lose weight.
32% wanted to save more and spend less. 26% wanted to learn a new skill or hobby. Remember that.
21% wanted to quit smoking. 17% wanted to read more. 16% wanted to find another job, 15% wanted
to drink less alcohol, and 13% wanted to spend more time with family and friends.
Right down right now, which ones were ones that you've made before and broken?
Number one room was diet or health, two was exercise, more three was lose weight, four
was save more, spend less, five was learning, you skill or hobby, six was exercise, more 3 was lose weight, 4 was save more spend less, 5 was learn
a new skill or hobby, 6 was quit smoking, 7 was read more, 8 was find another job, 9 was
drink less alcohol, and 10 was spend more time with family and friends.
We've all made those, we've all broken those.
Now why is that the case?
Why do we break New Year's resolutions?
And here's my hypothesis. My opinion hypothesis
is because we don't follow this four step framework. This four step framework will give
you the ability to realize why we make mistakes and why we don't live up to our resolutions
and our plans that are so important to us, right?
And why research is say that about 60% of us
make new resolutions, but only 8% are successful
in actually following them through.
We want to change that.
We want to change that.
We don't want to bet on being part of the 8%.
Right?
So here are the four steps.
The first step to think about when looking at your goal.
So you set a goal, right? Whatever your goal is, one of those goals. Here's the framework
to achieving it. The first thing you ask yourself is growth. What do you need to grow
to get that? What do you need to learn, grow in? What growth do you need to focus on in your life in order to get that goal?
What is the growth behind the goal?
So let's say it's social media, right?
Let's say it's social media and you say, my goal is to have more followers, right?
Which I don't think is a great goal.
But let's say you have a more meaningful goal.
Let's see your goal is to create content
that impacts the world, right?
Now you don't need to grow followers, right?
That would be the common thing to say,
oh, I'm trying to grow my followers.
That's the growth I need, Jay.
No, no, no.
You need to grow content, which means you need to grow
storytelling skills.
Notice the difference. Right, so someone writes down their goals as I need to grow storytelling skills. Notice the difference.
Right, so someone writes down their goals
as I want to grow my followers.
Someone writes down their goal as I want to grow
the amount of subscribers to my podcast.
Well, that's a goal, but that's not really the growth you need
to make, because then all you're trying to do
is do things that directly impact that,
but that's not the case.
What you need to do is grow your content,
which means you need to grow your storytelling, what it means you need to
grow your content creation approach. You need to grow in learning how to create more content.
Right? That's the focus that it has to be. So we don't focus on growth. We focus too
much on goals when our focus should be growth.
In the 1680s, a feisty opera singer burned down a nunnery and stole away with her secret lover.
In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom, with all their loot.
During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from
the Germans.
What do these stories have in common?
They're all about real women who were left out of your history books.
If you're tired of missing out, check out the Womanica podcast, a daily women's history
podcast highlighting women you may not have heard of, but definitely should know about.
I'm your host, Jenny Kaplan, and for me,
diving into these stories is the best part of my day.
I learned something new about women from around the world
and leave feeling amazed, inspired, and sometimes shocked.
Listen on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Yvonne Gloria.
I'm Maite DeGolmes de Juan.
We're so excited to introduce you to our new podcast, Hungry for History!
On every episode, we're exploring some of our favorite dishes, ingredients, beverages
from our Mexican culture.
We'll share personal memories and family stories, decode culinary customs, and even provide
a recipe or two for you to try at home.
Corner flower.
Both? Oh, you can't decide.
I can't decide. I love both.
You know, I'm a flower tortilla flower.
Your team flower?
I'm team flower.
I need a shirt.
Team flower, team core.
Join us as we explore surprising and lesser-known corners
of Latinx culinary history and traditions.
I mean, these are these legends, right?
Apparently, this guy Juan Mendes,
he was making these tacos wrapped in these huge
tortillas to keep it warm and he was transporting them in a burro, hence the name the burritos.
Listen to Hungary for history with Ivalangoria and Maitre Gomez Rejón as part of the
Michael Tura podcast network available on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your
podcasts. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets.
It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season.
And yet, we're constantly discovering new secrets.
The depths of them, the variety of them
continues to be astonishing.
I can't wait to share ten incredible stories with you,
stories of tenacity, resilience,
and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family
secrets.
When I realized this is not just happening to me, this is who and what I am.
I needed her to help me.
Something was gnawing at me that I couldn't put my finger on, that I just felt somehow
that there was a peace missing.
Why not restart? Look at all the things that were going wrong.
I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests
for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to season eight of Family Secrets
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
What do we need to grow in to achieve that goal? Now I'll give you an example.
So this year, my first ever book is coming out in April.
It's my first of a book.
It's called Think Like a Monk.
It's available for pre-order right now.
And so for me, of course, I want so many of you to be able to change your life and transform your life
through my book.
But the growth I need to be able to do that
is to be able to help you understand
why this book is relevant in your life, right?
I need to be able to make sure that you all know
that it's available because guess what?
The algorithm doesn't make everyone know
and let everyone know that my book is available.
So I need to make sure that you all know that it exists and that it's available. So I'm focused
on the growth, not just on the gold, but because if I'm just focused on the goal, I'm just obsessed
with this elusive arbitrary result. So many of our goals are really not gold, they're visions.
Right, you may have a vision to be one of the best, you know, businesses all're visions. You may have a vision to be one of the best businesses of all time.
You may have a vision to have one of the most beautiful romances of all time,
but that's not really a goal.
A goal is something that you can grow towards,
and I want you to focus on what growth you need to make this year.
Growth includes things like, what skills do you need to learn?
What abilities do you need to gather and grow?
What qualities do you need to learn? What abilities do you need to gather and grow? What qualities do
you need to grow and develop in? Maybe that's what it's going to take. So last year when
I was launching my podcast, my goal was to have a number one podcast, which thanks to
all of you happened, but the goal's not enough to get there. What I needed was a growth.
So the growth was, I needed a grow to become an interviewer. I needed to grow to have a network where I could invite incredible guests
onto the podcast. I needed to grow my understanding of how to develop and produce a podcast. Those
were the growth elements that were powering the goal. The goal in and of itself meant nothing.
So if your goal this year is to, which is usually one of the number one goals is to diet
or eat healthier, it's like, well, what skill do you need to grow?
Or maybe you need to grow habit formation skills, right?
Maybe you need to grow resilience.
Maybe you need to grow mental strength.
Maybe that's what you need to grow.
That's what's stopping you.
Because, hey, guess what?
Just telling yourself, I'm not going to eat carbs or fats.
Right?
If that was your diet plan, that's not good enough
because it's the growth that gets you to the goal,
not the goal in and of itself.
Does that make sense?
Right?
Does that really resonate?
You connect with that.
If your goal this year is to exercise more,
you have to ask yourself, well, what do I need to grow in
to be able to exercise more? Okay, do I need to grow in to be able to exercise more?
Okay, so I need to grow in my discipline.
Okay, I need to be more disciplined.
Okay, I need to grow in my accountability to someone.
Right, it's not just about exercising more,
it's not just forcing yourself, pushing yourself to the gym,
you know, just, you know, pushing yourself there
with all the energy you have dragging yourself there, right?
That's not good enough.
We have to think about what skill we wanna learn.
And that's why I said, only 26% of people
have the resolution of learning a new skill,
only 26 people.
So if only 26% of people have the resolution
to learn a new skill or a hobby,
that's what missing out. That's the growth.
Right?
That's where we're missing the trick.
Because it's actually the learning of a new skill, the growing in a new ability or quality
that gets you to the goal, not just thinking about and having a goal in and of itself.
And so often that's all we have.
The reason why we don't get to our goals is all we have is goals, not a growth plan, right?
And I really want to think about growth this year. Do you need to learn a new language?
Do you need to learn how to code? Do you need to learn how to edit? Do you need to learn how to master habits?
Do you need to learn how to focus on purpose and passion and peace and meaning? So much of it is in that.
So much of changing is in that.
So much of changing our life is in learning how to change our habits, observing ourselves. Because once you know how to change your habits, you can then apply that to any habit.
But if you've never been taught or trained how to change your habits, then you can't change any habit.
And that's the challenge we end up in.
The second focus in goal setting is I want you to observe your opportunities.
I want you to know the opportunities that you're going to say yes to this year,
and the opportunities you're going to say no to this year, and the opportunities that you're
going to see maybe to this year and the opportunities that you're going to see maybe to this year. So, I want
you to be clear on the criteria of opportunities you say yes to. Opportunities you say no to
and opportunities you say maybe to. I'll tell you why. One of the biggest reasons why we don't achieve our goals is because of this. We say yes to too many things that are not what our priority is.
We say no to too many things that are our priority.
And maybe it's just for those of you who are saying,
I'm still undecided on a few things, but really you want to know and clarify for yourself the criteria of why you say yes to an opportunity and why
you say no to an opportunity. Let's say your priority this year is to exercise more.
Right, if your priority is to exercise more and that's a priority in your life, then you
may say that opportunities that come up during my exercise time are always a no. So if I'm exercising at 8 a.m. every day,
if it is this type of opportunity, I will not do it.
So I'll give you a personal example of mine,
just to make it really, really simple.
I exercise every morning from 8.15 a.m. to 9 a.m.
about four to five days a week.
That's my workout time.
And I have a very clear criteria
that the only reason I will miss that time is if I have a press interview.
So this year when I've been on the today show or I was in access Hollywood or any of those examples
that I've had to go on a press piece which isn't all the time, it's an exception, it's not like I'm on press every single week.
When I've had to do that, that is the only criteria by which I say no to my workout
and yes to the opportunity.
Apart from that, and of course family emergencies
or personal issues,
apart from that, I do not compromise.
I do not negotiate with that time.
So you need to realize what are your non-negotiables?
What are the things that you will not negotiate on?
What are the opportunities that you will say
yes to a no to? I'll give you another example. Let's say that your priority this year is waking
up early. You might have to say no to late night parties and late night networking events.
Now, if that is your priority, you have to be clear. What is the criteria with which
I would say yes to a late night event? It may be that I'm gonna get to meet the biggest idol of my teens, right?
It may be because I'm getting to interview someone,
I've been wanting to interview for a long time, right?
It may be because you're getting to spend time
with someone you love and family that's in town,
but that has to be an exception.
So when it comes to opportunities,
because guess what, we all have endless opportunities
in our life and different areas of our life.
We have to make a clearer criteria of what do I say yes to and what do I say no to?
When do I say yes and when do I say no?
Why do I say yes and why do I say no?
Because we don't create these agreements and these contracts and these, to be honest,
because we just don't clarify this criteria with ourselves,
we're confused.
When you don't clearly clarify your criteria,
it leads to confusion about your choices.
And when you get confused by your choices,
you end up lost and then you generally
don't achieve anything. And so I don't want you to be in and then you generally don't achieve anything.
And so I don't want you to be in that position. I don't want you to be confused. I don't want
you to be lost. I don't want you to lack clarity. I want you to have clear criteria for
your opportunities that you're going to say yes to and know to based on your goals. So
let's take another goal just to give you a fresh example. Let's see your goal is to save more and spend less.
When are you going to say yes to that and when are you going to say no to that?
Know your criteria.
You may say that I'm going to say no to that for one vacation this year where we're going to treat ourselves more.
We're going to treat ourselves more.
We've got big anniversary coming up.
But apart from that, I'm going to honor that rule.
We have to set rules with ourselves.
We don't set these rules consciously.
So when it comes to them, what happens?
Your default mind wins.
That's what's happening every time.
When you don't set these rules, when you don't set this criteria,
when it comes to crunch time, your default mind,
your monkey mind wins.
Because that's the mind and the habit and the pattern that's already
been built. That's what you've already given into. So when you're saying, I'm not going to eat sugar
anymore, but you've built up no rules of yes and no's, right? Then when it gets to eating sugar,
you give in because that's what you love. That's what you've built the habit and pattern of.
So one of the biggest reasons why we don't achieve our goals and our resolutions is because
we don't create clarity around our opportunities.
So I want you to say, yes, this is what I'm going to say, yes, too, based on these criteria.
This is what I'm going to say no to, right?
And I want you to find so much understanding around that.
Point number three of this four-step framework, the action plan. We have these
goals, we write them down, you may even make the screensaver of your laptop at
work and your phone, but there is zero action plan. There is zero activities
planned as to how you're going to achieve this goal. When
I say an action plan, I mean a minute by minute, right? Quality by quality. I mean, a minute
by minute, hour by hour plan of when this is being worked on. Too many of us set these lofty
goals and never break them down into the building blocks to actually get us there. For me,
I see this like a ladder. If you have a ladder,
and your goal is at the top of a ladder,
your action plan is creating every step of the ladder
so you can go up there.
Imagine you had a ladder,
and the only step of the ladder was the step at the top,
which got you right to the top of where you wanted to go.
But there were no other steps.
Are you going to achieve that goal?
Well, you might jump up and down a bit, you might try there were no other steps. Are you going to achieve that goal?
Well, you might jump up and down a bit.
You might try and reach that top step.
Once you reach it, then you're gonna pull yourself up.
And when you pull yourself up,
you're gonna use all your upper body,
stentest try, and then you probably fall.
How many of you have experienced it?
And you're year when you're trying to gain
your newest resolutions or your big goals,
because you only ever built the top step. You didn't
build the one, two, three, four, five, six, seven steps before the top step. I'm actually
staring at the ladder right now in my office, which is a false letter. It's a bit small,
but for my bookshelf, that it's like, there are seven, if there were seven steps missing,
shelf, let it say there are seven, if there are seven steps missing, how would you get to that top step?
If you're an on-purpose listener, I believe you already eat well and tidy up your home
with safer cleaning products.
But do you put on makeup and skincare products that contain questionable ingredients?
Maybe you don't even know.
If you do, check out Beauty Counter.
Beauty Counter is a clean makeup and skincare brand
that started in 2013.
They made a point to shed a light on the need
for stronger ingredient regulations
in the personal care products we use every single day.
Today, Beauty Counter is the leading clean beauty brand.
Their mission is to get safer products
into the hands of everyone
because they believe that beauty products
should be good for you.
I personally love their charcoal cleansing bar,
best bar of soap you'd find in my opinion.
I just appreciate that my skin doesn't feel dry afterwards
and it can be used by absolutely anyone,
even if you don't wear makeup like me.
Their recently launched counter-time collection
is a safer alternative to retinal.
It keeps skin youthful and hydrated
with plant-based ingredients like bacterial,
so you get all the age-defying benefits
without the concerns like sun sensitivity and skin irritation.
My friend who tested it out loves it
and now wants a lifetime supply.
I can't stress it enough.
Please make sure whatever you're putting on your skin
is as healthy as the food you put in your body.
If you're new to BeautyCounter, now's the time to head to beauty counter.com to check
out special holiday offers before they go.
That's beauty counter.com, no promo code necessary, just clean makeup, skincare and gifts for
everyone you love.
So the action plan should be, let's say my goal is to find another job.
That's the top steps.
Then I want you to ask the question, how am I going to find another job?
Okay, I'm going to research about other jobs.
Okay, how am I going to research about other jobs?
Okay, notice how this is building the steps downwards.
Okay, then, okay, research other jobs. How am I going to research other jobs, okay? Notice how this is building the steps downwards. Okay, then, okay, research other jobs.
How am I gonna research other jobs?
I'm gonna speak to people that I know in careers.
Okay, how am I gonna speak to them?
I'm gonna ask my friend for their number or their email.
Okay, how am I gonna do that for my friend or my email?
I'm gonna text them right now.
Notice how I have built the step ladder to right now.
If your action plan doesn't build a step ladder
to a step you can do right now
in this very moment that is not an action plan.
So now my action is, I'm gonna text my friend
to say can you please introduce me via email or message
to your friend that is a graphic designer,
that is a digital marketer, that is a accountant,
that is a lawyer, whatever it is,
because I need to talk to them.
If you have not built your action plan to an activity,
you can take right now.
If your action plan is, I need to research new jobs.
No, that's not right now.
I need to research new jobs on LinkedIn,
and I'm going to go to LinkedIn right now.
That is an action plan with a step that you can take today.
If your action plan doesn't have a step, you can do right now, it is not a complete action
plan.
An action plan isn't just, I will go to the gym three times a week.
No, an action plan is, what can I do right now?
I will go to the gym to do these exact workouts at these exact times and not compromise on them.
Part of the reason we struggle with our goals
is we don't ever create the plan.
We end up at the gym to do the workout,
but then we're like, okay, well, what workout should I do?
Right, like what workout should I do today?
The action plan includes the plan of what workouts
you're going to do.
The action plan includes the meal plans of what you're going to eat, the action plan includes all of that detail. If you don't have an action plan,
you won't achieve your goals this year and the action plan has the details of what we're going to do
when we're going to do it, how we're going to do it, who's going to do it, and why I'm going to do it.
This is a full action plan. So this part of the framework, this pillar, can be broken down into this.
When am I going to do it? What am I going to do? How am I going to do it? Who am I going to do it with,
and why am I doing it? So when you write down what you're going to do, that makes it very simple.
So what I'm gonna do is I'm going to do a circuit
with these three exercises,
for example, for the one going to the gym.
When am I going to, I'm doing a 15 a.m. every morning.
How am I going to do it?
I am going to do it by using the gym in my building, right?
Or I'm going to do it by signing up for a membership here,
or I'm going to do it by going with my friend, whatever it may be, how, who am I going to do with it? I'm going to do on my own
with a trainer or with a friend and why am I going to do it? The action plan as a why, I'm going to
do it because I want to be healthier for my kids. I'm going to do it why because I want to be more
able to work harder and push myself more. I want to do it because I want to take care of my health.
That is a complete action plan.
Do this with me right now.
Don't just let this be something that you're hearing theoretically with me.
I want you to build your goals in these way because this is the thing, right?
Like, otherwise, you're going to be in the same place next year.
We're going to be talking at the same time next year.
You're going to be like, yeah, I didn't achieve my goals.
But this framework works. This framework
is, it works. It's what's between you and achieving your goals. So just take this moment
to be focused and be effective about it, right? Take this moment to give yourself that opportunity
to the third thing is having an action plan. And that's how you build a full action plan.
And the fourth is this.
Now this one's slightly more advanced and slightly more progressive for those of you that really
want to push forward this year and make an impact this year.
A lot of people ask me, Jay, it seems like, you know, something's always interesting
is happening in your life, something you always is, you know, exciting that's happening in your life, something always is exciting that's happening in your life.
And for me, it all comes down to the fact
that I make years about something.
So it's like the year of,
so in the Chinese calendar,
which you may have known about when you grew up,
they have the year of the whatever.
And there's different you know animals etc. So it's like year of the
year of the ox, year of the hair, year of the rabbit,
year of the dragon, right, year of the pig. So you have all these years.
So when I come up with a year plan for me, my action plan revolved around year of what? So 2018 for me was year of social media video,
year of uplifting content, year of conscious content.
And 2019 for me was the year of the podcast,
year of on purpose.
2020 for me is year of thing like a monk,
year of the book, right?
This is my focus, this is my priority.
And so when you make it that simple for yourself, that ultimately everything I'm doing is around
this, and for you, it may not be something you're creating, it may be a year of my family.
It could be a year of my passion and purpose.
It could be a year of creating my entrepreneurial business.
It could be a year of whatever it could be, right?
It just has to be simple as an overarching plan.
And then there are the three elves, not elves,
where we're past Christmas, not three elves, but the three elves
of what you want to be doing every year.
You want to be learning one thing, you want to be launching one thing, and you want to be
loving one thing. And I explain what I mean by these in depth. Every year, you want to be launching
something. When I say launching, I mean focusing on something. So for me, I'm launching my book,
but it could be that you're launching your career, you're launching a relationship, right? When I
say launch, I mean, like, that's what it's all about. That's what you're excited about. That's what you're passionate about. That's what you're launching.
It's what you're giving your main focus to that year. Well, you also want to do every year,
is you want to be learning something. This could be something that you'll launch next year. This
could be something you're focused on next year. So for example, let's say you're expecting, you're
in your partner are expecting and you know you're going to have a child next year and I'm
not putting in business terminology at all, but just for the point of this, you'll be launching
a child next year. This year you may focus on learning how to parent. You may focus on
learning about conscious parenting. So the next year when you have your child, you can
focus on that. Right? So you're learning about the thing that's happening next year.
When you live in with this intentionality, with this consciousness, you're so much more
prepared, you're so much more happier, you're so much more excited because there's something
to look forward to.
So you always want something that you're learning every year.
Right?
You always want something that you're learning every year.
So always be launching, be learning.
And the third thing, which is very important, is always be loving something.
So this year I'm going to be loving the podcast.
I'm going to be loving my genius community.
I'm going to be loving my videos that I've been creating.
These are things that I'm loving that I've been doing for a few years now and I'm loving
them.
I love them.
I have a rhythm. I have a rhythm.
I have a pattern.
I have a workflow.
I know how it works.
So I love the process.
But at the same time as loving something,
I'm learning something else and I'm launching something else.
The launch is where I'm having my mistakes,
where I'm growing new skills, where it's exciting.
The love provides the
consistency and the stability that I need in life. And the learning provides the
exploration, the curiosity, the intrigue. Notice how they're all fulfilling
different parts of me. If I was only learning stuff, then I may not feel
focused, I may not feel excited. But if I'm only launching something, then I may not feel focused, I may not feel excited, but if I'm only
launching something, then I may feel like I need more stability in my life.
And if I'm only loving something, then I may feel bored, because I may feel like, well,
I want to do more with it.
So notice how learning, launching, and loving gives you a different energy.
Now why is this the four-step framework as a whole?
It spells out the word goal.
Growth, opportunities, action, learning, launching, loving.
Right?
Growth, the first thing that I told you was, don't focus on the goal, focus on the growth.
The second thing was, clarify the criteria of opportunities.
You say yes to and no to to know your priorities. The third is build that ideal
action plan and the fourth is learn, launch and love. If you follow this framework
and I recommend coming back to this episode and building your goals around this
framework, it will set you up for success.
All I want for you is for you to have the most fulfilling, meaningful, and purposeful 2020.
My only wish, my meditation, my focus, my prayer for each and every single one of you
prayer for each and every single one of you is to have a meaningful, fulfilling, purposeful 20, 20 so that you can transform your lives and be of service to others.
Sending you all my positive vibes and my meditations and I want you to take this very strategic
and thoughtful plan, whether it's your business goals, your personal goals or your relationship goals. And I can't wait to be on this journey together this year.
We're starting 2020 together and you're listening to every episode until then and we're together.
You're going to say, Jay, I made progress. You're going to say, Jay, I grew, I chose the right opportunities, I built my action plan,
and I learned, I launched, and I loved.
That's enough.
Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of On Purpose.
If you're new, hello, if you've been here for a while, thank you and welcome to all of
you.
So grateful.
Make sure you subscribe, make sure you review, and make sure you come back next week.
Thank you so much.
What do a flirtatious gambling double agent in World War II?
An opera singer who burned down an honorary to kidnap her lover, and a pirate queen who
walked free with all of her spoils, haven't comment.
They're all real women who were left out of your history books.
You can hear these stories and more on the Womanica podcast.
Check it out on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen.
When my daughter ran off to hop trains,
I was terrified I'd never see her again.
So I followed her into the train yard.
This is what it sounds like inside the box car.
And into the city of the rails.
There I found a surprising world, so brutal and beautiful,
that it changed me.
But the rails do that to everyone.
There is another world out there.
And if you want to play with the devil,
you're going to find them there in the rail yard.
Undenail Morton.
Come with me to find out what waits for us
in the city of the rails.
Listen to city of the rails, on the I Heart Radio app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts or cityoftherails.com.
Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the before breakfast
podcast in each bite-sized daily episode. Time management and productivity expert Laura
Vandercam teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home.
These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day.
Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental
equivalent of pumping iron.
Listen to Before Breakfast on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
podcasts.