On Purpose with Jay Shetty - The Only Way To Inspire Change in Your Friends And Family

Episode Date: November 15, 2019

Do you find yourself trying to convince your friends and family to change, but nothing seems to work? It’s important for us to understand how the process of change works within us and others so we can become more effective in our approach. In this episode you'll learn what the most successful people have in common, and why the action of unlearning is crucial to your transformation. Let's get rid of all the bad lessons you learned and replace them today. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, it's Debbie Brown, host of the Deeply Well Podcast, where we hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your wellbeing journey. Deeply well is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is available now on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Namaste. I'm Munga Shatekler and it turns out astrology is way more widespread than any of us want to believe. You can find it in major league baseball, international banks, K-Pop groups, even the White House. But just when I thought I had a handle on this subject, something completely unbelievable happened to me, and my whole view on astrology changed.

Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, give me a few minutes because I think your ideas are about to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. When my daughter ran off to hop trains, I was terrified I'd never see her again, so I followed her into the train yard. This is what it sounds like inside the box car. And into the city of the rails, there I found a surprising world, so brutal and beautiful, that it changed me.

But the rails do that to everyone. There is another world out there. And if you want to play with the devil, you're gonna find them down in the rail yard. Undenail Morton. Come with me to find out what waits for us in the city of the rails. Listen to City of the Rails,

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or or cityoftherails.com. Hey everyone, welcome back to on purpose. Thank you so much for being here. By the way, I just wanted to let you know, we are at 9,800 reviews on the podcast. It would mean so much to me. If we can get to 10,000 by the end of this week, it would be amazing because I love reading them. I love engaging with them. I love seeing the incredible meaningful lessons and nuggets of wisdom that you're all gaining from these episodes. And when you leave a review,

it means so much to me, but it means so much to new listeners. And we are connecting with new listeners every single week. Like, I know that there are new people downloading the podcasts from different countries every single week. And I just want to there are new people downloaded in the podcast from different countries every single week. And I just want to say a huge thank you to each and every one of you that has subscribed. If you haven't, make sure you do. And I want to say thank you to each of you that has left a review. If you haven't, it would mean the world to me. If you take two minutes, actually, you would take 20 seconds to just leave a review.

It would be amazing. Now, today's episode is another behind the scenes. And I'm excited for this because I know you've been loving these almost windows into my life, Q&As with people, real people at events, and often asking the questions that you really want. And that's what I love about people asking questions at events because when you ask a question, you don't just help yourself, you help another hundred thousand million people because there are another hundred thousand million people thinking the exact same thing as you. So anyone who asks a question, I'm so grateful to each and every one of you. And today's

episode is behind the scenes from an event that I did at Mind Valley. And many of you know, I'm friends with Vision Lacchiani who's the CEO and founder of Mind Valley, a really good friend, a really cool guy. And his team are all so my absolute love, Miriam and Agatha and Kadi, they're unbelievable. And I was invited to speak at this event in LA where they had a Q&A with their audience. And we just literally took questions from everyone. The questions were amazing. There were questions about family and, you know, being in relationships where someone isn't spiritual or someone isn't about personal growth and how you deal with that.

There were questions about how we can go deep and our own practices and habits. There were questions about my personal life and things that I love and I'm fascinated by. So I can't wait for you to hear this podcast. Here we go. What's up, J-Shirt? What's up, J-Shirt? What's up, J-Shirt? What's up, J-Shirt?

What's up, J-Shirt? What's up, J-Shirt? All righty, so J-Shirt, yes you know, out of some 200 speakers last year in Mind Valley was awarded based on audience data as the best speaker at Mind Valley across all seminars, all festivals, all events for the entire year 2018.

But what is also really wonderful to say about Jay is that in today's world, and this is something that lights me up. In today's world, the number one personality on Facebook is not a Kardashian or a politician. it is Jay Shetty, a monk. A monk, former monk, who makes wisdom go viral. Jay Shetty's videos have been viewed four billion times, four billion times, right? But, and this is since he started in 2016, January 2016, but here's the crazy thing. Three billion of that four billion happened in just the last 12 months. And his growth is exponential

and growing. And he, perhaps more than almost anyone else else I personally know is helping create a world where wisdom Becomes viral and something that you really want to consume Jay. Welcome to mind Valley again Thank you, vision. Thank you so much. Thank you to all of you. I'm so grateful. Thank you I'm so grateful and touched to be here. thank you for the opportunity, and thank you to all of you for being here as well. Thank you for being here when you can be anywhere in the world you chose to be sitting on that seat.

So, let's start with the opening question, Jay. You learn so much and you just got back from meditating in India in an ashram. You know, you're constantly evolving yourself. What would be some words of advice you would give to the people in this room? That's a big question. So I take out 21 to 30 days every year to go and live back with the monks where I used to live in India. So I lived as a monk for three years.

And every day I've made a priority to continue my meditation practice, which is currently two hours a day. It's been that way for the last 13 years. It's been the bedrock and foundation of my life. So to that very big question, that vision asked me, my first piece of advice would be finding your daily rituals, finding your daily habits, finding your practices that act as the foundation,

because we're living in such busy, hectic, crazy times. How many of you know that you have a schedule and still half the things don't happen on that schedule, right? Anyone ever been in that position? Well, how many of you go through that process where you start watching something really educational on YouTube and then two videos later you're watching something about Justin Bieber's mom, right?

And it's like, and then you're like, how did I get there? Like how did that happen? And you end up getting lost in this world. And so whether it's in a small way of getting lost through the content, you know, rabbit hole, or whether it's getting lost by getting distracted from what's really meaningful to you,

for me, refining my intentions on a daily basis is one of my favorite, favorite habits. And so what I do every day is I'll look at the plethora of options that I have available, all of the things, whether it's deals, ideas, thoughts, projects, offers, whatever it is, and on top of all of them, I'll write down why I would do that. And if the reason is often ego, pride, envy, competition, jealousy, and sometimes it's compassion, love, joy, passion, purpose, meaning, fulfillment. And so what I like to do is I like to refine my intentions, which I class as seeds and weeds

every day. So I want to plant more seeds in the God of my life. Seeds are things that are like compassion, love, purpose, fulfillment, meaning, joy, service. And weeds are when we do things out of ego, envy, competition. And so every day I'm plucking out the weeds out of my life and I'm trying to plant more seeds. How many of you want to be God-neds with me?

Yeah? Yeah? And I do that every day because it's so easy for me to confuse the weeds as seeds. It's so often that I've let ego grow so strong inside of me and took me forever to notice that was a weed. So I have to do it every day. So that's one of my biggest piece of advice.

I do it every single day. It's made a huge difference in making sure I make the right choices, the right decisions with people, places and projects that I'm involved in. And when you refine that intention and it gets pure and pure and pure and not that we're ever fully pure but it gets pure and pure and pure. not that we're ever fully pure but it gets pure and pure and pure You'll just see magic happen around you So many things will open up things that you never imagined So you see that answers your question, but it does it and I'll just open up so many other questions

You said you get you try to get your intention pure and pure and it sounds to me like what you're saying is you're going for the feeling that it's getting you joy bliss passion, right? How far ahead are you looking? Are you looking at your intentions for a day, for a week, for a month, for a year? I look at intentions from places that I go, people that I spend time with, and projects that I'm involved in. So in every one of those areas, and that includes everything from what I'm doing right now by being here, so I'm with all of you

So I planted a seed of an intention that I wanted to come here to be of service to all of you all the way through to What do I want to be doing in 12 months? I usually don't make plans for longer than 12 months because the world changes so fast and Everything else so that's usually as far ahead. I think of that, you know my vision Do you ever get intentions like binge watch game of thrones with 24 hours straight and then judge yourself for having that intention? So I was with someone that I was coaching yesterday and they said to me, say, J, be real with me, right? You know, everyone always likes us, like be real with me, like don't give me the munch answer, you know. It's something my sister always says to me,

don't go munch on me, J, Shetty. I don't want to hear another video. My wife and my sister do that often to me. So someone asked me yesterday, be real with me. What do you do when you just want to let go? So the honest answer is, I grew up in London. I'm a huge soccer fan or a real football. And yes, finally, someone says it on our stage. I never understood you Americans, it's not.

I absolutely love football, and my favorite thing to do is play playstation with my buddies and play FIFA. I can do that for hours and hours and hours. And I'm pretty good too. So if anyone wants to play me a game of FIFA, I'm always up. But that's, yeah, I do get that. And that's probably one of the, there's two things I love in that category.

It's playing places, and playing FIFA. And the second is movies. I'm a huge fan of movies. I'm a huge fan of Christopher Nolan, specifically, because of the stories that he writes, and the movies he brings to life. So I love movies that help me learn, and have messages inside them, because I believe

that movies have the power to shift culture and shift conversation. So I'm fascinated by the power of media and movies, so I love consuming that content because it gives me more ideas and inspiration. And I truly believe that we're defined by the stories we tell ourselves. So when we see new stories through movies and media, I see changes in culture happening. FIFA, I can't justify, so that is just have to take. So we want to keep the questions spiritual and deep, but also real. Yeah, I like, like you just insulted Americans.

Yeah. They are the description of football, a football. I'm Dr. Romani, and I am back with season two of my podcast, Navigating Narcissism. Narcissists are everywhere and their toxic behavior in words can cause serious harm to your mental health. In our first season, we heard from Eileen Charlotte

who was loved bomb by the Tinder swindler. The worst part is that he can only be guilty for stealing the money from me, but he cannot be guilty for the mental part he did. And that's even way worse than the money he took. But I am here to help. As a licensed psychologist and survivor of narcissistic abuse myself,

I know how to identify the narcissists in your life. Each week, you will hear stories from survivors who have navigated through toxic relationships, gaslighting, love bombing, and the process of their healing from these relationships. Listen to navigating narcissism on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Mungeshia Tikhler, and to be honest, I don't believe in astrology, but from the moment I was born, it's been a part of my life. In India, it's like smoking. You might not smoke, but you're going to get secondhand astrology. And lately, I've been wondering if the universe has been trying to tell me to stop running and pay attention.

Because maybe there is magic in the stars, if you're willing to look for it. So I rounded up some friends and we dove in and let me tell you, it got weird fast. Tantric curses, majorly baseball teens, canceled marriages, K-pop! But just what I thought I had to handle on this sweet and curious show about astrology, my whole world can crash down. Situation doesn't look good. There is risk too far. And my whole view on astrology, it changed.

Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, I think your ideas are going to change too. Listen to Skyline Drive and the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. In the 1680s, a feisty opera singer burned down an unnery and stole away with her secret lover. In 1810, a pirate queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom with all their loot. Tyrant Queen negotiated her cruiseway to total freedom, with all their loot. During World War II, a flirtatious gambling double agent helped keep D-Day a secret from the Germans. What are these stories having common?

They're all about real women who were left out of your history books. If you're tired of missing out, check out the Womanica podcast, a daily women's history podcast highlighting women you may not have heard of but definitely should know about. I'm your host Jenny Kaplan, and for me, diving into these stories is the best part of my day. I learned something new about women from around the world and leafyling amazed, inspired, and sometimes shocked. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

You say you spend 28 days of the year in an ashram in India. Yes. Okay, and you're like one of the most like, you're becoming one of the most famous teachers on the planet. What do you do with that ashram? Do you check Facebook or Instagram while you're there? Good question. So I read an incredible study that changed the way I create and think and it said that the human mind can't be logical and creative at the

same time. How many of you have ever walked from a highly creative brainstorm where you were fueled with passion and then had to talk about numbers and business and right it's tough right? Anyone ever found that quite difficult, it's quite challenging and the mind's like trying to run from one side of the brain to the other side of the brain. So what I do is I create in depth, so I go really deep into my creation and then I go really deep into everything else that I have to do. So before I went to India, I created my content in advance and so when I was in India, I created my content in advance. And so when I was in India, I was able to really switch off. So the beauty of being able to be in India for

21 or 30 days, or wherever I am in the world for that matter, I'm then not having to think of creativity as stress or pressure. I'm able to do creativity as a form of passion and service. And so when I was in India, I was able to not look at Instagram, I was able to not look at Facebook, I was able to completely switch off for 21 days when I was there early in January, and I started my year in the way I wanted to. So I was meditating for eight hours a day, I was spending time with my teachers who are mind blowing and incredible and trying to learn from them and take knowledge and wisdom from them, and continuously praying to be of more service this year and make a difference

this year. So that's how I chose to spend my January. And I had so many people saying to me that we're just like, Jay, it's January. Things are going well in your career. How can you take 21 days off? Right? That pressure, that noise. I've got things going good for you. How can you take time off? How's that? Things are going good because I'm doing this. All right? Like, you know, I had one of my teachers that has kept saying to me for years. He goes, if you want to move three steps forward, you have to go three steps deep. And so if I'm not going forward,

I know it's because I haven't gone deep. So for me, that's a big priority for me. And that's what I try and do. And I try and do that every day, but I also believe in immersive experiences. So a lot of us today, we live in this world, which is like 10 minutes a day. Do it for 10 minutes a day, everything will be great.

And that is great. There's nothing wrong with that. But imagine you spent with a boy or a girl, your partner, whoever it was, someone that you just started dating. Imagine you spent 10 minutes a day with them. How long would it take you to figure out whether you wanted to fall in love with them or not? Probably a long time. And so when you go immersive, you've spent a weekend away with someone. You know whether you like them or not. And meditation, mindfulness, all these habits are the same. The more you immerse yourself, the more you get an experience that stays with you, the more that you can live with that experience and keep going back to it for 10 minutes today.

So I really believe in immersive experiences. I love the 10 minute a day advice, but I also deeply believe in having an deep, immersive, absorbed experience that completely takes over your whole body mind and soul, and then you're able to carry that forever. So I try and do that once a year. That's amazing. Beautifully said. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. So, so you're a monk. I used to be. I'm married now. OK. But you still go back to monk tattoo, or whatever they call it, once a month.

Once a year, right? Monk tattooed, like monk refresher course. So the monks are not very good at branding, is you? So when you're there hanging out with these other monks, do they ask you to teach them how to do Instagram or like like what how do other monks relate to you when you go back to the usherum? One of the things I love to be with the monks again is that they don't care Like they have no agenda. They have no desire They don't want to learn anything about what I'm up to and And I love that because I get to switch off from that identity too.

And it's beautiful to be able to let go of every identity that you've taken on and then just be. And so when I go there and I would have removed any identity that is attached to my ego, any identity that's attached to who I think I've become, et cetera. It's nice to be humbled again. It's nice to be, it's nice to be not, notice for a particular thing, but be dealt with in a human way and a completely human connection. So, yeah, no, they don't care about instruments. That's amazing. Now, I notice you have a tattoo on your neck.

I do. And I notice that there's even a Facebook group called, What is Jay Sh Shetty's tattoo. I'm serious. There's a Facebook group dedicated to his tattoo. That's how big this guy is. Soon they'll be Facebook groups for your ankles, your left thumb. It's going to get weird. J. Deal with fame. But what the hell is that tattoo? So, yeah, yeah, I'm going to, I'll tell the story about it. I got my first tattoo when I was 16 years old and I never asked my parents for permission. I went and got it, about it. I got my first tattoo when I was 16 years old and I never asked my parents for permission.

I went and got it, came home. I was bleeding slightly. And it happened to be on the same day we had family visiting from India. And for anyone who knows anything about Indian families, like respect to elders and families, it's important, and those are good values. But I walk in with my neck like half bleeding

and I have this tattoo in my family. my mom is just like, she's completely shocked, my dad's like covering it up, covering it up, trying to get me a college, anyway, so I used to be a huge fan of spoken word and rap music growing up, I've always loved language and words, and so I was a huge fan of hip hop and spoken words. So, I have a fist holding a microphone on my neck because it used to be the logo of the source magazine in the 1990s, which is one of the biggest hip hop magazines of its time. And I remember getting it done at 16 and a lot of people were like, what's that on your neck? And I said to microphone and they'd be like, oh cool, what are you doing?

I'd say I do spoken word and rap. And they said, oh, you should perform at our club. So, it was my card. It was my business card. It was my branding and and then I got my next tattoo at 18 So I have on the back of my neck. I have dear God in in calligraphy and then I have one here, which is a Which is less seen and I don't think there's a Facebook group about it But it's a it's a trouble class going to peacock feather. I've always loved the Music having spirituality to it and peacock to beautiful, beautiful animals

that I got to see a lot and observe a lot when I was in India. So that was inspired by that. So there's all my three tattoos. No more, none others hidden away. So we never been asked about that stage. I'm like, how useful is this information to anyone? LAUGHTER Are we at Mind Valley or are we at Tattoo Parlor? I mean, I don't know.

No, but you know what? It's so nice to get to also learn about the real you. There's so much wisdom from Jay out there. We wanted to bring in some of your realness. Because I know you as a friend and you're like just epically cool. So, we'd love to take some questions from the audience. OK. Now, here are the rules when we do panels like this.

I try to make sure that the question that is asked is a question that is going to serve at least 70% of the people in the room. OK? So if you have a question for Jay, raise your hand, and we have Mike Runners ready. Let's start with Shaman Durik. So one of the things that I wanted to ask

is I want to get your viewpoint on it. Because in Shamanism, we have this viewpoint. That spirituality is not separate from life. It means that someone who's spiritual, even if they don't meditate or work with crystals or doing any of these things, it means they're willing to evolve. I want to know what your thought is about that. Yeah, I completely agree.

I think that's beautiful and completely aligned with me. I don't think, see, we look at everything about, oh, what can I learn? And actually, a half of learning, in my opinion, is really unlearning. Everyone already has the answer inside of them. You're not really learning anything new. You're just trying to get rid of all the bad lessons you learned.

And everyone has that. So it's not so much about like, oh, is this person going from here to here? It's not really that. It's like it's someone going from here to here. And for me, one of the ways I've always thought about is you can't take the world further than where you visited internally. So for me, every person that we're meeting already has that journey right there. And all you're asking them to do is look inwards as opposed to outward.

So no, I completely agree with you. And I think that's a beautiful point that you've shared. And I think it's something nice for us to know so we don't judge in label people. We don't walk around. I think, oh, those are spiritual people. Those are not spiritual people. Because, yeah, we're all spiritual people.

And it's just that summer covered It's like the sun's always out But often it's covered with the clouds rarely here a bit more lately But some it's the sun is always out. It's just get covered by the clouds and that's us We've just been covered and we get covered by those clouds and they cloud our identity They cloud our perception And so all we're doing for ourselves and others is clearing out the clouds. And the more we do that for ourselves,

the more we can do it for others, and the more we do it for others, the more we do it for ourselves. And is meditation the only process that you use to clear out the clouds? Or is there other things that you explore? I think meditation today is a tool, and it's a great tool in your toolkit,

but it's really about how we're processing the whole time, how we're living the whole time outside of that. And so when I do two hours of meditation a day, that my teachers would always say to me, well, what are you doing for the other 22 hours you're awake, right? That would always be the question. And so I read a study recently that said that men and women

were asked either to sit alone with their thoughts for 15 minutes, or if they didn't want to do that, they could give themselves an electric shock. It was a true study. 60% of men chose an electric shock. True story. And 30% of women chose an electric shock.

These are real normal people. And when they were asked why they did that, they just said, I don't think I'm going to do it for 15 minutes. And so for me, meditation is an important part of the cloud, but it's also reflection, introspection, journaling, the ability to have a connection that's deeper than you sitting down with people who can help you move the clouds, because it's not always you on your own, you need others to come in and help you do that. So it's multiple things, it's multiple things.

I think meditation is a key facet of it, but not the be-all and end all of it. So we noticed that you speak a lot about relationships, a large proportion of video sound on relationships. And I'm just going to be, be asked this question, but you did have training as a monk. And normally when monks give advice on relationship, it's simply two words, don't screw. Why, where does that interest in relationships come from? My fascination comes from relationships from having failed lots of relationships. So growing up, I had countless relationships that didn't work out.

And I was always trying to learn, like, what does love mean? What is love? What is the ideal relationship? Why didn't that work out with that person, et cetera? So I was constantly reflecting, and then when I became a monk, obviously, I was celibate for three years and didn't have any relationships during that time,

and at that time, a lot of people would come and complain to me about their relationships. It's really funny when people do that. It's like, you're not married, you will know what to do in my life. I'm like, I just don't work that way. And I was always fascinated by that. I was getting asked so many questions about relationships. And I was like, well, I don't have any real life experience of figuring it out. So when I left and when I met my wife and now that we've been together for six years

and married for three years, I was always reflecting on why things do work with us and the parts that we are challenged by. And so for me, it's been a personal journey of growth and so the videos I've made have been from personal lessons I've learned from helping others, coaching others and working on my own relationship. And that's the trifecta around all my videos is, I listen to someone who shares a challenge with me.

So if you ever share a challenge with me, you have to be okay with the fact you may end up as a story in one of my videos. I'm just throwing it out there. The second thing I try and find is I try and find a scientific study to verify what I'm about to say as a solution. And the third thing that I do is I try and find a piece of wisdom that's thousands of years old that also aligns with that. So for me that's what I'm always looking for and that's how I create my content because that way I can verify it through modern science. It's timeless wisdom that's been true for thousands of years

and at the same time, it's based on a real challenge that we're all going through. That's amazing, that's amazing. I love how you just broke that down. This is what it sounds like inside the box-top. I'm journalist and I'm Morton in my podcast, City of the Rails. I plunge into the dark world of America's railroads, searching for my daughter Ruby, who ran off to hop train.

I'm just like stuck on this train, not where I'm going to end up, and I jump. Following my daughter, I found a secret city of unforgettable characters living outside society off the grid and on the edge. I was in love with a lifestyle and the freedom this community. No one understands who we truly are. The rails made me question everything I knew about motherhood, history, and the thing we call the American Dream. It's the last vestige of American freedom. Everything about it is extreme. You're either going to die, or you can have this incredible rebirth

and really understand who you are. Come with me to find out what waits for us in the city of the rails. Listen to city of the rails on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Or cityoftherails.com. Hey, it's Debbie Brown, and my podcast deeply well is a soft place to land on your wellness journey.

I hold conscious conversations with leaders and radical healers and wellness and mental health around topics that are meant to expand and support you on your journey. From guided meditations to deep conversations with some of the world's most gifted experts in self-care, trauma, psychology, spirituality, astrology, and even intimacy. Here is where you'll pick up the tools to live as your highest self. Make better choices. Heal and have more joy. My work is rooted in advanced meditation, metaphysics, spiritual psychology, energy healing, and trauma-informed practices.

I believe that the more we heal and grow within ourselves, the more we are able to bring our creativity to life, and live our purpose, which leads to community impact and higher consciousness for all beings. Deeply well with Debbie Brown is your soft place to land, to work on yourself without judgment, to heal, to learn, to grow, to become who you deserve to be. Deeply well is available now on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you listen to podcasts. Big love, namaste. I'm Danny Shapiro, host of Family Secrets. It's hard to believe we're entering our eighth season. And yet, we're constantly discovering new secrets. The depths of them, the variety of them, continues to be astonishing. I can't wait to share ten incredible stories with you, stories of tenacity, resilience, and the profoundly necessary excavation of long-held family

secrets. When I realized this is not just happening to me, this is who and what I am. I needed her to help me. Something was gnawing at me that I couldn't put my finger on, that I just felt somehow that there was a piece missing. Why not restart? Look at all the things that were going wrong. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests

for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to season eight of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's take a question from the audience. If you have a question. So I have this burning question. Yes.

How do you relate? How have you related to deep spiritual learnings? And at the same time, being happy and content in the material world without going crazy. Interesting question. I think that's this point of spiritual training. So it's like when we're immature and outspiritual learning, we're just starting out. When you first learn the first, everyone remember the first time they learned something and they're like I'm never talking to my family ever again right because you because you learn a little bit and you go oh my god I've been doing

it all wrong and now I can't talk to that person I can't ever go to that event again and you start making all these big decisions based on something small that you've learned and so I think in the beginning of our lives, because to protect ourselves, which is a very normal desire and very good and very human, we think, OK, I need to take care of this, so now I'm going to shut out from all of this. But as we grow, we realize we can give more back.

And so one of the ways I've always thought about it is, if you look at the ocean and you see someone drowning, you want to help them. But if you go in too soon and you're not strong enough, it's likely that you're going to get pulled in. And at that point, it's easier to shout out to a lifeguard who can come along, who's trained, who's disciplined, who's committed, who can go and make a difference.

And so for me in my life, I'm always looking at, if I can't bring someone up, I'm not going to spend time with them if they're going to pull me down. And it's drawing that line for me. So if I've been ever scared about my spiritual, rather than putting them down and going, oh, I'm not spending time with them because I'm putting them down, if I can't lift them up, then I'm going to protect myself by not being dragged down. But if I can pull them up, if I can lift them up, then that's when I'm able to

go into that space and make an impact and make a difference. And that line has really helped me not go crazy because now I'm not doing it based on a judgment of them, I'm reflecting on my own abilities and flaws and the difference I can make. And I'm taking a stance, it's like someone asked me the other day, what is a complaint? And when we were talking about litter, a complaint is you see a piece of trash on the floor and you go, oh, LA is so dirty. You've removed the agency that you can have an impact on that. A statement is, oh, LA is a bit dirty, there's trash in the floor, I'm going to pick that up and throw it away.

Taking that responsibility. So when we're irresponsible in our spiritual lives, we judge everyone and judge everything. And we mature, we start looking at through compassion, empathy, and connection, and recognize we were just there a few years ago. And that's the biggest anchor in my life is recognizing that I was addicted to and still am in different ways, things that I don't believe are good for me spiritually. And I was that guy, I was that kid, you know, and it's taken a journey and someone had to believe in me, someone had to invest in me, someone had to reach their hand

without being forced in and pull me out. And so that allows me to continue to operate in the world. I hope that answers your question. Thank you. Thank you. So Jay, when I saw you speak at wisdom 2.0 last weekend, you got on stage and you quoted Martin Luther King. It was a quote on Justice Love. And a big theme of this event has been MLK, his vision for Justice as the application of power to remove all obstacles of love.

We just had Marion Williamson take the stage here and talk about the importance of standing up of activism, what are your views on this? So I want to approach it from a slightly different angle as well. How many of you spend a lot of your days multitasking? OK, good. So a lot of us spend our time multitasking. Now, studies show that only 2% of us are actually able to multitask. And when most people hear that, they're like, yeah, I'm in that 2%. That's me, right? I'm

in that 2%. You're probably not, I'm not, because it's only 2% of the global population of the world. Multitasking's a myth. And I find that as spiritual activists, as conscious change makers, as change agents of the world, whatever you want to call yourself, all of us, one of the biggest mistakes we've seen and this was the quote that I shared and I thought from Martin Luther King that I've really held close to me, is he said, those who love peace need to learn to organize themselves as well as those who love war. Right? Those who love peace need to learn to organize themselves as well as those who love war. I.E. people are trying to build destruction in the world and distractions in the world are highly organized,

highly focused, highly data oriented, highly strategic, highly process driven, and so we have to be the same. And when you spend time with vision, you spend time with the mind-valley team, you realize their success is intuitive, it is deep, it is full of love, but it is also highly strategic, it is also highly focused, and therefore it's effective. And so for me, my plea to all of you and to myself is whatever we're going to do, let's get really strategic about it. Let's bring sincerity and strategy together.

Let's bring data and dynamism together. Let's bring intuition and insight together. Right? Let's not look beyond that and think, oh, that stuff's going to work out because I intend, my intention is nice. Right? Your intention is not going gonna run a mile, but it would help you run the marathon,

but it's not gonna run that mile that you need to do right now. And so for me, intention and action, intention and attention, both of them are required. And so my recommendation is whatever your dream is, whatever you inspired by, whatever you think's gonna have a positive impact on the world, bring both to that.

Right, don't settle for one or the other. Thank you. And what you said so relates to Marianne Williamson, who was here just two hours ago, who said, we need to wage peace as effectively as people wage war. So thank you for that connection, to a big theme of this event. Let's take another question from the audience.

I hope I'm not boring you, by the way. Hello. Yes, please. Hi, Sunita here. So my question is, you know, we go through the transformational journey and it's very personal, we all start at different timeline. But what if we are not able to rally our loved ones into this journey? Like, for example, your spouse, and there is a fear of you outgrowing them, them and also your loved ones like your parents don't understand your journey Your kids don't understand your journey and you're in a different path. How do we tackle this because I think it's important to bring them along We can't just leave our relationships just because we are growing So I want to know how do we rally them on to this journey and open up possibilities for them as well. Absolutely, thank you so much.

Thank you. Thank you. Jay. So I think the biggest and hardest lesson is that our family and our friends will be more inspired by our example than our education. They're going to change when they see us change. They're going to transform when they see us genuinely transform. They're not fascinated by how much you've learned and how much you know and you can do

a headstand now and you know, you can do all these chakras and mudras and you know all these Sanskrit words and you know like that doesn't move the people that have known you since you were young or have known you before. And that doesn't make an impact on them. What makes an impact on them is your example and your transformation and the amount you've changed. I remember this was really tough. So someone asked a similar question, but not as nicely as you did.

You asked it very respectfully. But I remember when I was in, when I was a monk, this question was asked to my teacher. And my teacher is actually very compassionate, but this was one of his like heavier moments of like, it was harsh. But he was asked by someone in the crowd, they said, they said, I'm trying so hard to, you know, get my family to become spiritual and I'm doing everything and they don't listen to me and I'm trying really hard and it's not working and I'm like doing this and I'm doing that I'm doing this and I'm teaching them this and I'm taking them this and nothing's happening. And my teacher said to them and they were a student of his and my teacher said to them they said he said tolerate them as I'm tolerating you. And I was like... And so... He actually said, and he's super sweet.

Like, my teacher's like 70 years old, he's been a monk for 40 years. He's amazing. He's one of the sweetest people in the world, and he said then, I was like, whoa! I was like, you just got served. You know, like, it was one of those moments. And, you know, he's in robes, and he says it really peacefully and everything, but the lesson I got from that, the lesson I got from that is that someone's done that for us. Like someone's been patiently waiting for me to transform,

for me to grow up, whether it's a mentor, a guide, a guru, a teacher, whatever it is. Like there's someone in our life in any transformation who's also waiting for us. So part of it is patience. Patience is a huge thing. You're never going to change someone or make them do something. And half the time you just have to get out of the way.

The part with patience that works is introduce them to who they're inspired by. Don't try and be their inspiration. And I often say that to even in parenting situations, when parents introduce their kids to people they're inspired by it, that will help the kids more than telling the kids to do the right thing. And I've seen that happen so often when you look at sports as well, even if your father was the best actor

or best sports player in the world, or your mother was the best tennis player or performer, or whatever it is, you're never impressed by your parents. Like we're really impressed by our family when we're younger. We get gratitude later on, but in our early days, we don't have that, but we need to meet people. So if you can introduce your family to people daring side by, that's going to make a huge difference. And the final one, like I said at the start, was just your example, seeing your behavior change, your language change, your communication change, that's going to give them the greatest confidence that, you know, what she's doing is right. It works.

Right? The proofs in the pudding, the proofs in seeing you actually make that change. Who dances your question? Thank you. Thank you. You're also kind. So what then what then is next for Jay Shetty? What are you focused on next?

Or rather, let me repress that question. What are some visions that you have for how you are going to serve the world? Thank you. So when I started out, I started this journey 13 years ago, by my video content only three years ago. When I started out, I never thought it would work. So I had a lot of limiting beliefs. I never thought I would get this far. I never believed that. I thought I was going to work a full-time job, come home,

spend all my time editing videos, and hopefully do this on the weekend. That's how I'd envision my life. So I'm very grateful for all of you who've ever watched, liked or shared a video on extremely touch that you've taken the time to even listen to me and I'm living a very blessed, unfortunate life. So I come from a place of deep gratitude. And now that I've seen what's possible, now I'm the opposite way, and I'm like, wow,

I can't wait now. Like, now I'm really, really excited. One of my biggest beliefs, and I read a study that inspired my beginning, and it was that the most successful people in the world, healthy, wealthy or wise, choose education over entertainment. And the most unsuccessful people in the world, unhealthy, unwealthy or unwise, choose entertainment over education. So I made it my mission in life to build entertainment first content with an educational heart.

And I was thinking, how do we make wisdom spread at the pace people want entertainment? How do we meet people where they are so that they can come on a journey with us? How do we meet people? Because guess what? Hundreds of thousands of people will do courses, millions of people will come to events, but billions will always watch television

and network TV and online programming. How do we meet people there? So a big part of my vision and goal is to create conscious content that will sit on all the platforms that everyone binge watches will be extremely entertaining that you won't even know but it will have the most meaningful messages behind it. We'll have the deepest meaningful messages hidden in the heart of that content. And what's happened on social media and what I've been able to do on social media has proven to me that there's an opportunity for that.

Right, I read a study two weeks ago in an ink magazine that showed the most viewed videos on social media in 2018 and the top 500 most viewed videos on social media in 2018 were all positive. They weren't news, they weren't politics, they weren't negative, they were positive videos and that could have been comedy, it could have been inspirational stuff, it could have been anything, it doesn't have to be motivational inspiration, it was comedic but positive. That was the stuff that was winning.

And so for me, that's step one. Step one is creating a world where all the entertainment we watch, movies, media, everywhere is highly entertaining but has messages hidden behind it, which I think it's already exists. And the second step is then working with incredible folk like Mind Valley and creating the educational background to give people a journey to go on. So once they're watching something,

how do they then go on their personal journey of transformation? It's really giving a real pathway, giving a real method, which is nonjudgmental, non-sectarian, universal, and timeless so that anyone can find that accessible and practical. And that's a really key word actually, making it really practical, making it really easy, not making it mystical, so that people get lost, but making it really practical, so that

people feel like they're handheld. That would be the goal. Making wisdom go viral. Thank you, Jay. Thank you. Thanks so much, Richard. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so Jay. Thank you. Thanks so much, Rishan. Thank you so much. Thank you, very little. Thank you, everyone. I'm so grateful. Thank you for listening. Give it up for

Jay Shetty. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed that episode. I'd love you to tag me and at Vision and at Mind Valley with any of the lessons that you've learned in this podcast. Thank you so much again and I can't wait for you to check out next week's episodes. The therapy for Black Girls podcast is your space to explore mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I

can't wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday. Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Take good care. I am Yom LaVanzant and I'll be your host for The R Spot. Each week listeners will call me live to discuss their relationship issues. Nothing will tear a relationship down faster than two people with no vision. Right.

Because you all are just flopping around like fish out of water. Mommy, daddy, your ex, I'll be talking about those things and so much more. Check out the R-Spot on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Conquer your New Year's resolution to be more productive with the Before Breakfast Podcast in each bite-sized daily episode. Time management and productivity expert, Laura Vandercam, teaches you how to make the most of your time, both at work and at home.

These are the practical suggestions you need to get more done with your day. Just as lifting weights keeps our bodies strong as we age, learning new skills is the mental equivalent of pumping iron. Listen to Before Breakfast on the I Heart Radio app, or wherever you get your podcasts.